Everybody Loves Raymond (1996–2005): Season 6, Episode 13 - Tissues - full transcript
Angry that Debra seems to be making all the decisions, Ray decides to take charge of a few things around the house. He goes to the supermarket, but finds that his purchases are criticized by everyone in the family.
Oh my God.
You have ants here,
too, Debra.
I know, Marie.
Your son keeps
leaving food out.
Ray! Can you come here?
They seem to like
your meatloaf, dear.
What? What's up?
More ants.
Just so you know,
I'm calling the exterminator.
Oh, no. I hate that guy
and his chemicals.
The counter tasted funny
after he left last time.
What are you doin'
lickin' the counter?
I saw somethin'
that looked like jelly.
I'm going to try
to get him here on Monday.
- Oh...
- In the meantime,
these ants could
maybe lead you
to the other crumbs
in the house.
Listen, why don't you
round up the kids, huh?
I don't feel like
getting any more food out,
so we'll take them
to Marco's for dinner.
Come on, don't make this
into a whole thing.
The kitchen
is covered in ants.
But you know the kids
and restaurants.
Come on. Look,
it's late, they're tired.
They're gonna be fighting.
Food's gonna be everywhere.
I say we eat in front of the TV,
like a regular family.
So we can never take
the kids to a restaurant?
We can go when
they can drive us.
Wait! How 'bout
we go to Marco's, huh?
Just the two of us.
Ma, can you take the kids
to your house for dinner?
Sure. They could use
a home-cooked meal.
It's okay, Marie.
No no, come on.
It'll be fun, huh?
Just you and me.
Like when we were dating,
except now I know
not to expect sex after.
I don't like that, Raymond.
Okay. Come on, kids,
get your coats on.
We're going out to eat.
Yippee!
You ready, Ray?
Bye, Marie.
Don't bother to clean up.
I'll get to it later.
She'll get to it later.
Even the ants are laughing.
Stop it! Stop!
Hey hey hey!
Your father said stop!
In five minutes,
I'm coming up there,
and whoever's not in bed
gets no candy
until they're 30!
Oh my God.
Just when you thought
it couldn't possibly get any louder,
they find their whistles
in the car.
You got some spaghetti
in your hair.
Oh, what a nightmare.
I guess I better
get up there, huh?
Almost can't think of a time
when the kids behaved worse!
Maybe that one time at the lake
when Geoffrey tried
to ride a goose.
No. No.
You know what?
This was worse.
Yep! A bad night.
Well, at least we got
chocolate cake out of it.
I love chocolate cake.
You got something
you want to say, Ray?
Hmm?
What's that now?
You got something
you want to say to me
about going out tonight?
No, I don't think so.
I pretty much said all I had to say
before we went there.
What is your problem?
No problem.
It's just I had another plan for tonight,
and you rejected it, and now...
Did you get what you wanted?
I hope you're enjoying that
because that's going to be
your last meal.
I'm not scared.
What happened tonight
caused me to have a revelation.
Which was what?
That I'm always the one who
has to back down around here.
I constantly have to shut
my mouth to keep the peace.
Excuse me?
This is unbelievable.
You're going to act like a big baby
because you didn't
get your way tonight?
Try every night, okay?
I'm talking
about 12 years of marriage now!
You have to get your way
at everything, all the time.
- That is not true!
- Oh, it's not true?
How about the dog
that I've always wanted?
Wait a minute!
If you don't always get what you want,
then I guess we have one.
Hey, Floppy! Here, boy!
Floppy?
That's right, Floppy.
You can't even let me
name my imaginary dog.
So because we don't have a dog,
you never get your way?
Look around! Everything
in here is your decision.
That lamp, that painting.
The flower drapes over the sink.
I hate those drapes.
Look, they're one pattern,
and the wall's a totally
different pattern.
What were you thinking
with those drapes?
I didn't hear
a peep out of you
when we were
picking them out.
Well, maybe you need
to listen better.
I need to listen better?
I need to listen better?!
Yes! Yes!
Because I did say something.
I said, "Really?
Those drapes?"
And what did you say?
I believe you said--
Let me see if I remember--
That's right, you said, "Pfft!"
That's because,
"Really? Those drapes?"
Doesn't help me!
You don't want
to be involved in the decision,
you just want to reserve
the right to complain.
No! You just
don't want my opinion!
How about with the couch?
Remember? I picked out
that really cool one
with the three
pop-up footrests.
That thing
was atrocious.
It was perhaps
the best couch ever.
So that's your idea
of decision-making,
A dog named "Floppy"
and unlimited footrests?
Not a bad start.
I think you're forgetting
that I already let you
make decisions,
and then you proceeded
to screw them up!
I don't recall that.
Last week, I sent you
for a simple garden hose.
You came home
with that tiny thing.
It's totally useless.
What?
That's a good hose.
Two feet long?
The water doesn't even reach the plants!
So you squirt it
over there.
Use your thumb,
that's what people do.
Just so you know,
that hose is goin' back.
Oh, that's it
right there.
- What?
- That is how you get your way.
"Just so you know."
Yeah yeah.
"Just so you know,
Ray, we're getting the flower drapes.
Just so you know, Ray, I ordered
the boring couch without the footrests.
And, Ray, we're going to
move in across the street
from your parents--
just so you know."
Yeah, that's right.
I remember saying,
"No, no.
In the name of all
that is holy, no!"
But look where we are.
Nice work!
Sorry I'm coming on
a little strong,
but the truth
has set me free.
So you just want to make
more decisions, is that it?
That's all I'm sayin'.
- No.
- What? What?
You gave up the right
to make decisions
when you stopped taking
responsibility.
You don't help me at all.
You can't even wash a dish.
Maybe I'd wash a dish
if I didn't have to look
at those repulsive curtains.
Fine fine.
You be that way.
But until you start
helpin' out, I'm makin' all the decisions.
- But--
- Good night.
But you-- you can't do that.
We're married.
It's a two-way street.
No, it's not.
What do you mean,
"No, it's not"?
Marriage is
a two-way street.
You can't just make it
a one-way street.
Think of all the accidents
you're causin'.
"Not making
any decisions--"
I'll make all the decisions I want.
Maybe I'm deciding
to sleep down here tonight.
I already made
that decision.
Just so you know.
Hey, good morning.
Huh?
Hey. What's up?
Is that the netting
from our tent?
Yeah. It's keeping
the ants away.
It's detachable?
It came off.
Listen, uh...
I'm sorry
about last night.
You know, you brought
something up,
and I shouldn't have
dismissed you like that.
I mean, you're right.
Sometimes I do just
disregard your opinion.
Sometimes I might
think, wrongly,
that your decision-making
ability is suspect--
Are you okay there?
Yeah, I'm all right.
Anyway, I apologize.
Okay, yeah.
I'm sorry if I was a little jerky
last night, too.
The curtains are not
actually repulsive.
But you have a point.
Just because you would
name a dog "Floppy"
doesn't mean you
shouldn't get a say.
Really?
Yeah.
And you know what?
We have a vacation
coming up.
Why don't you decide
where we go?
Me? I decide
the vacation?
Yeah.
The family vacation?
That's big.
I trust you. I do.
I'm going to have
to trust you.
Hey.
Hey. What's all that?
You got food in there?
Give it!
I got all these
travel brochures
- for our vacation that I'm planning.
- Wow!
It's amazing. The world
has a lot of places!
- What's all this?
- No no no no no no.
You told me to get
some milk at the store,
and, I thought,
'cause I'm helping,
that I would get some stuff
that I wanted to get.
Oh.
Yeah. Let me show you.
Let me show you.
This is for the ants.
It's great. It's all natural.
Made from some oil. You can spray it
wherever you want.
Ray, watch it.
Don't, don't.
No no, it's made from, like,
oranges or something.
You squirt it on a cracker,
you got yourself a snack.
I'm in.
So I was thinkin' we could
cancel the exterminator.
If you want to go around
And spray every nook
and cranny of this house,
then you can
cancel the exterminator.
Ha ha! I can do things.
I'm a thing-doer.
Hi. I made sandwiches.
Enough chitchat, Marie.
Sandwiches!
Hey, Marie,
Ray went to the grocery store
on his own.
You went shopping
on your own?
Not just groceries.
Ally needs a notebook
for school, right?
- So here I am helping.
- Wow.
Ooh, purple.
Look, I found these kits
to make box kites.
Two for $5.
So I thought the twins
would like 'em.
Parker's kid had them
at the playground,
but these are much bigger.
Ha ha! Parker!
- Yeah, these are great.
- Yeah yeah.
Ma, could you bring Dad
his sandwiches?
His stomach just made a noise
I heard in the woods once.
I'm sorry, Robert.
We were watching Raymond
unload groceries.
And nobody's videotaping?
Robert, please.
Keep going.
What else did you get?
I found these
great tissues on sale,
so I got 10 boxes.
That's a lot of tissues.
Not only were they on sale,
there was an in-store coupon,
So it was, like,
unbelievable.
Tell us more
about the tissues, Ray.
Yeah, okay.
Sure.
You can make fun,
but we are set
for tissues.
So you saved
some money.
- What?
- What? They're good.
- What else you got?
- Wait, what's wrong with the tissues?
- Nothing.
- No, something.
Nothing. It's just
I wouldn't have gotten those kind
'cause they don't
go with the bathroom, but it doesn't matter.
She hates the tissues.
No, no, they're totally fine.
What else is in here?
Wait wait, hold on.
Mom, what do you
think of these?
I don't buy this kind.
But that doesn't mean
there's anything wrong with them.
However, I would say
that accents like tissues
are one of the most
crucial decisions
in the look and character
of a household.
You do realize that people
use them to blow their nose?
Yes, but before
they blow their nose,
the right tissue box
invites them to do so.
Yeah?
Okay, well,
I think these are inviting.
Well, you are alone.
Shut up.
- They're good, right?
- Yeah, they're great.
You do hate them,
don't you?
I-- Ray, look,
it doesn't matter.
I'll just get my kind
the next time I go to the store.
Wait, no no no.
I made this decision,
and we're sticking with this.
- It's not that big--
- I'm sorry,
but I am not gonna
back down here.
Now we got a show.
I just think
that your bathroom
needs as much help
as it can get!
No, this is not about Debra
and her lousy housekeeping.
It's about me
finally getting some say.
Raymond, why are you
being so stubborn?
Let's not forget,
when I was growing up,
you never let me
make any decisions either.
I was 15-- you were
still picking out my clothes.
Nothing wrong with my
putting together special outfits.
Yeah, Ma, let me
tell you something.
When kids at school find out
you're wearing an outfit,
all they want to do
is hit you in it.
You just give me
the names of those kids--
I am all
grown-up now, Ma!
All grown-up!
And look how you dress.
You see? I still can't
make my own decisions.
You never let me, and you never let me.
You're both the same.
- Hey!
- Hey!
Game's all over.
Still no sandwiches.
Oh.
Hey, those tissues stink.
What?
Yeah. They got
the lotion on them.
They're all greasy.
You pull one out
to blow your nose on it,
You think
you did it already.
Yeah, right.
Knowing you, Dad,
you probably did.
Seriously. That is
a disaster of a product.
These tissues
are fine, Dad!
They're fine!
All right?
Raymond, if I may.
Did you ever
stop to wonder
why these tissues
were on sale?
The bad color,
the disgusting texture,
the fact that
they're only 100-count
when a typical box
of tissues holds 160?
Hmm?
You got ripped off,
my brother.
Nobody wanted
these things.
Nobody but poor ol'
Mr. Bumblepuss.
That's you.
All right,
everybody out!
Raymond, I don't understand
why you're acting like this.
Yeah, we didn't buy
the stupid tissues.
Because this is ridiculous!
I get one thing I want,
and everybody's got
to jump all over me!
- Get something better next time.
- Get out!
I'll tell you one thing.
I've blown my nose
for the last time in this house!
Oh. Oh, boy,
there goes
our Saturday night.
Try this tissue.
Ray, I don't want
to argue about this.
Then you agree
with keeping the tissues.
Fine. We'll keep
the damn tissues.
Don't call 'em
"damn tissues."
They're gonna be
our tissues,
and we're gonna
display them proudly.
They're gonna be
the official tissues of the house!
Okay, that's great.
Whatever you say, honey.
I got to go
pick up the kids in a few minutes.
And we're supposed
to eat dinner at your parents' tonight,
if they'll have us over
after your little "freak-out."
No. No. I'm not eating
with those downers!
I'll make my own food
right here.
And I'll decide to eat
whatever the hell I want.
All right?
Just so you know!
I happen to be
a very good cook.
Hello?
Hey, Gianni.
Yeah.
No, nothing.
Debra's going all nutty
on me over here,
But what else is new?
Yeah, I can golf tomorrow.
Yes.
It's not gonna snow.
It's gonna be 40oo.
What are you talking about?
Snow...
No.
It's gonna be fine.
"Red sky at night,
sailor's delight."
"Shaking with fright?"
Who told you that?
Well, your mother's
stupid, man.
Yeah.
Hey, you ever try those tissues
with the lotion in 'em?
Yeah.
No, they're good.
Yes, they are!
No, you suck!
All right.Whatever.
I'll see ya tomorrow.
You be there.
All right, bye.
My tissues!
- Ray, what the--
- Fire!
There's a fire!
Oh my God!
Get out of the way!
Well, it took care
of the ants!
Most of this
is cosmetic,
so it won't take too long
to get you back in shape.
- Oh good.
-That's great.
I've got some
wallpaper choices out in my truck.
And here's
some possibilities for drapes.
Great, thanks.
You have ants here,
too, Debra.
I know, Marie.
Your son keeps
leaving food out.
Ray! Can you come here?
They seem to like
your meatloaf, dear.
What? What's up?
More ants.
Just so you know,
I'm calling the exterminator.
Oh, no. I hate that guy
and his chemicals.
The counter tasted funny
after he left last time.
What are you doin'
lickin' the counter?
I saw somethin'
that looked like jelly.
I'm going to try
to get him here on Monday.
- Oh...
- In the meantime,
these ants could
maybe lead you
to the other crumbs
in the house.
Listen, why don't you
round up the kids, huh?
I don't feel like
getting any more food out,
so we'll take them
to Marco's for dinner.
Come on, don't make this
into a whole thing.
The kitchen
is covered in ants.
But you know the kids
and restaurants.
Come on. Look,
it's late, they're tired.
They're gonna be fighting.
Food's gonna be everywhere.
I say we eat in front of the TV,
like a regular family.
So we can never take
the kids to a restaurant?
We can go when
they can drive us.
Wait! How 'bout
we go to Marco's, huh?
Just the two of us.
Ma, can you take the kids
to your house for dinner?
Sure. They could use
a home-cooked meal.
It's okay, Marie.
No no, come on.
It'll be fun, huh?
Just you and me.
Like when we were dating,
except now I know
not to expect sex after.
I don't like that, Raymond.
Okay. Come on, kids,
get your coats on.
We're going out to eat.
Yippee!
You ready, Ray?
Bye, Marie.
Don't bother to clean up.
I'll get to it later.
She'll get to it later.
Even the ants are laughing.
Stop it! Stop!
Hey hey hey!
Your father said stop!
In five minutes,
I'm coming up there,
and whoever's not in bed
gets no candy
until they're 30!
Oh my God.
Just when you thought
it couldn't possibly get any louder,
they find their whistles
in the car.
You got some spaghetti
in your hair.
Oh, what a nightmare.
I guess I better
get up there, huh?
Almost can't think of a time
when the kids behaved worse!
Maybe that one time at the lake
when Geoffrey tried
to ride a goose.
No. No.
You know what?
This was worse.
Yep! A bad night.
Well, at least we got
chocolate cake out of it.
I love chocolate cake.
You got something
you want to say, Ray?
Hmm?
What's that now?
You got something
you want to say to me
about going out tonight?
No, I don't think so.
I pretty much said all I had to say
before we went there.
What is your problem?
No problem.
It's just I had another plan for tonight,
and you rejected it, and now...
Did you get what you wanted?
I hope you're enjoying that
because that's going to be
your last meal.
I'm not scared.
What happened tonight
caused me to have a revelation.
Which was what?
That I'm always the one who
has to back down around here.
I constantly have to shut
my mouth to keep the peace.
Excuse me?
This is unbelievable.
You're going to act like a big baby
because you didn't
get your way tonight?
Try every night, okay?
I'm talking
about 12 years of marriage now!
You have to get your way
at everything, all the time.
- That is not true!
- Oh, it's not true?
How about the dog
that I've always wanted?
Wait a minute!
If you don't always get what you want,
then I guess we have one.
Hey, Floppy! Here, boy!
Floppy?
That's right, Floppy.
You can't even let me
name my imaginary dog.
So because we don't have a dog,
you never get your way?
Look around! Everything
in here is your decision.
That lamp, that painting.
The flower drapes over the sink.
I hate those drapes.
Look, they're one pattern,
and the wall's a totally
different pattern.
What were you thinking
with those drapes?
I didn't hear
a peep out of you
when we were
picking them out.
Well, maybe you need
to listen better.
I need to listen better?
I need to listen better?!
Yes! Yes!
Because I did say something.
I said, "Really?
Those drapes?"
And what did you say?
I believe you said--
Let me see if I remember--
That's right, you said, "Pfft!"
That's because,
"Really? Those drapes?"
Doesn't help me!
You don't want
to be involved in the decision,
you just want to reserve
the right to complain.
No! You just
don't want my opinion!
How about with the couch?
Remember? I picked out
that really cool one
with the three
pop-up footrests.
That thing
was atrocious.
It was perhaps
the best couch ever.
So that's your idea
of decision-making,
A dog named "Floppy"
and unlimited footrests?
Not a bad start.
I think you're forgetting
that I already let you
make decisions,
and then you proceeded
to screw them up!
I don't recall that.
Last week, I sent you
for a simple garden hose.
You came home
with that tiny thing.
It's totally useless.
What?
That's a good hose.
Two feet long?
The water doesn't even reach the plants!
So you squirt it
over there.
Use your thumb,
that's what people do.
Just so you know,
that hose is goin' back.
Oh, that's it
right there.
- What?
- That is how you get your way.
"Just so you know."
Yeah yeah.
"Just so you know,
Ray, we're getting the flower drapes.
Just so you know, Ray, I ordered
the boring couch without the footrests.
And, Ray, we're going to
move in across the street
from your parents--
just so you know."
Yeah, that's right.
I remember saying,
"No, no.
In the name of all
that is holy, no!"
But look where we are.
Nice work!
Sorry I'm coming on
a little strong,
but the truth
has set me free.
So you just want to make
more decisions, is that it?
That's all I'm sayin'.
- No.
- What? What?
You gave up the right
to make decisions
when you stopped taking
responsibility.
You don't help me at all.
You can't even wash a dish.
Maybe I'd wash a dish
if I didn't have to look
at those repulsive curtains.
Fine fine.
You be that way.
But until you start
helpin' out, I'm makin' all the decisions.
- But--
- Good night.
But you-- you can't do that.
We're married.
It's a two-way street.
No, it's not.
What do you mean,
"No, it's not"?
Marriage is
a two-way street.
You can't just make it
a one-way street.
Think of all the accidents
you're causin'.
"Not making
any decisions--"
I'll make all the decisions I want.
Maybe I'm deciding
to sleep down here tonight.
I already made
that decision.
Just so you know.
Hey, good morning.
Huh?
Hey. What's up?
Is that the netting
from our tent?
Yeah. It's keeping
the ants away.
It's detachable?
It came off.
Listen, uh...
I'm sorry
about last night.
You know, you brought
something up,
and I shouldn't have
dismissed you like that.
I mean, you're right.
Sometimes I do just
disregard your opinion.
Sometimes I might
think, wrongly,
that your decision-making
ability is suspect--
Are you okay there?
Yeah, I'm all right.
Anyway, I apologize.
Okay, yeah.
I'm sorry if I was a little jerky
last night, too.
The curtains are not
actually repulsive.
But you have a point.
Just because you would
name a dog "Floppy"
doesn't mean you
shouldn't get a say.
Really?
Yeah.
And you know what?
We have a vacation
coming up.
Why don't you decide
where we go?
Me? I decide
the vacation?
Yeah.
The family vacation?
That's big.
I trust you. I do.
I'm going to have
to trust you.
Hey.
Hey. What's all that?
You got food in there?
Give it!
I got all these
travel brochures
- for our vacation that I'm planning.
- Wow!
It's amazing. The world
has a lot of places!
- What's all this?
- No no no no no no.
You told me to get
some milk at the store,
and, I thought,
'cause I'm helping,
that I would get some stuff
that I wanted to get.
Oh.
Yeah. Let me show you.
Let me show you.
This is for the ants.
It's great. It's all natural.
Made from some oil. You can spray it
wherever you want.
Ray, watch it.
Don't, don't.
No no, it's made from, like,
oranges or something.
You squirt it on a cracker,
you got yourself a snack.
I'm in.
So I was thinkin' we could
cancel the exterminator.
If you want to go around
And spray every nook
and cranny of this house,
then you can
cancel the exterminator.
Ha ha! I can do things.
I'm a thing-doer.
Hi. I made sandwiches.
Enough chitchat, Marie.
Sandwiches!
Hey, Marie,
Ray went to the grocery store
on his own.
You went shopping
on your own?
Not just groceries.
Ally needs a notebook
for school, right?
- So here I am helping.
- Wow.
Ooh, purple.
Look, I found these kits
to make box kites.
Two for $5.
So I thought the twins
would like 'em.
Parker's kid had them
at the playground,
but these are much bigger.
Ha ha! Parker!
- Yeah, these are great.
- Yeah yeah.
Ma, could you bring Dad
his sandwiches?
His stomach just made a noise
I heard in the woods once.
I'm sorry, Robert.
We were watching Raymond
unload groceries.
And nobody's videotaping?
Robert, please.
Keep going.
What else did you get?
I found these
great tissues on sale,
so I got 10 boxes.
That's a lot of tissues.
Not only were they on sale,
there was an in-store coupon,
So it was, like,
unbelievable.
Tell us more
about the tissues, Ray.
Yeah, okay.
Sure.
You can make fun,
but we are set
for tissues.
So you saved
some money.
- What?
- What? They're good.
- What else you got?
- Wait, what's wrong with the tissues?
- Nothing.
- No, something.
Nothing. It's just
I wouldn't have gotten those kind
'cause they don't
go with the bathroom, but it doesn't matter.
She hates the tissues.
No, no, they're totally fine.
What else is in here?
Wait wait, hold on.
Mom, what do you
think of these?
I don't buy this kind.
But that doesn't mean
there's anything wrong with them.
However, I would say
that accents like tissues
are one of the most
crucial decisions
in the look and character
of a household.
You do realize that people
use them to blow their nose?
Yes, but before
they blow their nose,
the right tissue box
invites them to do so.
Yeah?
Okay, well,
I think these are inviting.
Well, you are alone.
Shut up.
- They're good, right?
- Yeah, they're great.
You do hate them,
don't you?
I-- Ray, look,
it doesn't matter.
I'll just get my kind
the next time I go to the store.
Wait, no no no.
I made this decision,
and we're sticking with this.
- It's not that big--
- I'm sorry,
but I am not gonna
back down here.
Now we got a show.
I just think
that your bathroom
needs as much help
as it can get!
No, this is not about Debra
and her lousy housekeeping.
It's about me
finally getting some say.
Raymond, why are you
being so stubborn?
Let's not forget,
when I was growing up,
you never let me
make any decisions either.
I was 15-- you were
still picking out my clothes.
Nothing wrong with my
putting together special outfits.
Yeah, Ma, let me
tell you something.
When kids at school find out
you're wearing an outfit,
all they want to do
is hit you in it.
You just give me
the names of those kids--
I am all
grown-up now, Ma!
All grown-up!
And look how you dress.
You see? I still can't
make my own decisions.
You never let me, and you never let me.
You're both the same.
- Hey!
- Hey!
Game's all over.
Still no sandwiches.
Oh.
Hey, those tissues stink.
What?
Yeah. They got
the lotion on them.
They're all greasy.
You pull one out
to blow your nose on it,
You think
you did it already.
Yeah, right.
Knowing you, Dad,
you probably did.
Seriously. That is
a disaster of a product.
These tissues
are fine, Dad!
They're fine!
All right?
Raymond, if I may.
Did you ever
stop to wonder
why these tissues
were on sale?
The bad color,
the disgusting texture,
the fact that
they're only 100-count
when a typical box
of tissues holds 160?
Hmm?
You got ripped off,
my brother.
Nobody wanted
these things.
Nobody but poor ol'
Mr. Bumblepuss.
That's you.
All right,
everybody out!
Raymond, I don't understand
why you're acting like this.
Yeah, we didn't buy
the stupid tissues.
Because this is ridiculous!
I get one thing I want,
and everybody's got
to jump all over me!
- Get something better next time.
- Get out!
I'll tell you one thing.
I've blown my nose
for the last time in this house!
Oh. Oh, boy,
there goes
our Saturday night.
Try this tissue.
Ray, I don't want
to argue about this.
Then you agree
with keeping the tissues.
Fine. We'll keep
the damn tissues.
Don't call 'em
"damn tissues."
They're gonna be
our tissues,
and we're gonna
display them proudly.
They're gonna be
the official tissues of the house!
Okay, that's great.
Whatever you say, honey.
I got to go
pick up the kids in a few minutes.
And we're supposed
to eat dinner at your parents' tonight,
if they'll have us over
after your little "freak-out."
No. No. I'm not eating
with those downers!
I'll make my own food
right here.
And I'll decide to eat
whatever the hell I want.
All right?
Just so you know!
I happen to be
a very good cook.
Hello?
Hey, Gianni.
Yeah.
No, nothing.
Debra's going all nutty
on me over here,
But what else is new?
Yeah, I can golf tomorrow.
Yes.
It's not gonna snow.
It's gonna be 40oo.
What are you talking about?
Snow...
No.
It's gonna be fine.
"Red sky at night,
sailor's delight."
"Shaking with fright?"
Who told you that?
Well, your mother's
stupid, man.
Yeah.
Hey, you ever try those tissues
with the lotion in 'em?
Yeah.
No, they're good.
Yes, they are!
No, you suck!
All right.Whatever.
I'll see ya tomorrow.
You be there.
All right, bye.
My tissues!
- Ray, what the--
- Fire!
There's a fire!
Oh my God!
Get out of the way!
Well, it took care
of the ants!
Most of this
is cosmetic,
so it won't take too long
to get you back in shape.
- Oh good.
-That's great.
I've got some
wallpaper choices out in my truck.
And here's
some possibilities for drapes.
Great, thanks.