Everybody Loves Raymond (1996–2005): Season 2, Episode 25 - The Wedding: Part 2 - full transcript
Flashback to Ray and Debra's wedding.
Debra, please sit.
- Okay.
- Debra, why is it that you want
to marry raymond?
- Oh, um, well, uh, you know,
ray is just the--
He's the kindest, sweetest man
I've ever met, you know?
And he has
a wonderful sense of humor.
I mean,
he's not always funny,
But, um, he really is
very clever.
And nobody makes me laugh
like he does.
- Really?
- Yes, and, um,
I don't know.
I guess I've never been
as comfortable with anybody
In fact, you know, just about
the minute I met him,
I knew that he was the one
for me,
So that's it.
[sighs]
- Don't lie.
- I'm not lying.
- Are you lying, debra?
- No!
- Well, then that was lovely.
Raymond, why is it that you wish
to marry debra?
- Um, you said "wish."
- Yeah, yeah,
for me, you said,
"why would you wish
to marry her?"
And for her, you said,
"why would you want
to marry him?"
Yeah, yeah,
there's a subtle thing there.
Yeah.
"why would you want
to marry him?"
- I wouldn't say "would."
- Okay, but still, "wish" was
to me, you know,
Like--like, "yeah, you wish."
- What are you doing?
- Tell him why you want
to marry me!
- Okay.
She's great, all right?
- Great.
I'm going to assume
That you won't be writing
your own vows.
Um, well,
let me ask you this.
Are children planned?
- Oh, yes.
Yes.
We plan on having a big family.
- Raymond?
- Well, I never really
thought about it.
- We talked about it.
- That doesn't mean
I thought about it.
- Actually, uh--
Actually, I am a little pressed
for time today,
But raymond, if I may,
Marriage requires
A great deal
of soul searching
Before a responsible decision
can be made.
Now, you owe that to yourself
and to your intended.
Her.
Now, you can stay and talk
for as long as you want
Or wish.
But I think I--
Oh, good, a funeral.
God bless.
- [sighs]
So want to get
something to eat?
- What did you do?
- What?
What?
- "what"?
He thinks you're a moron.
- Well, you're marrying me.
- Yeah, I know!
- You see?
There it is.
- There what is, ray?
- That you don't really want me.
You want the flowers
and the dresses
And the lamb chops
with the little paper panties.
- You are so full of it.
"oh, she's just using me
So she can have
her big wedding."
You think I'm falling
for that act?
Tell the truth!
You're scared.
You're scared of having
to move out of your mom's house
And start an actual life.
Well, let me
tell you something.
I meant what I said here today.
I love you!
And you love me,
and we are getting married.
You want to act?
Act like you're happy!
You understand me?
Oh, my god.
You know what?
I don't care
if you're scared.
I don't care
if you're nervous.
You got cold feet?
You get some socks!
- She really wants
that wedding.
- Hey, raymond.
- Hey, uncle mel.
How are you?
- I'm good.
You look like a bus toilet.
- Thanks.
Glad you could come.
- This is lewis.
He's my business partner.
- Hey.
How are you?
- We're not gay.
- Okay, then.
Okay.
See you in a bit, right?
[knocking at door]
- I saw you come in here.
- Look, ma, please,
not now, okay?
- Oh, honey, I understand
what you're going through.
You don't think I know?
Oh.
She's very pretty,
isn't she?
- Who, debra?
- It's hard sometimes
with pretty people, you know?
You feel so--you know?
Listen, our family
is not the most--
You know?
Look at your father.
It's not that
I didn't have choices.
But I picked him.
And now--
Oh, raymond, I'm sorry.
[sobbing]
- My god!
- Hey, big crowd.
Hey, listen, debra's father,
what's his name?
- Warren.
- Don't like him.
But the good news is,
you don't marry the parents.
You'll see;
after you're married,
The parents aren't
in your life so much.
- The way your mother
wasn't in my life?
- Aw.
- Don't start with my mother.
- A horrible woman!
- A saint.
She tried to warn me about you.
- Oh, fine.
Move.
You had to ruin
the happiest day of our lives.
And don't sit
next to me in there.
- There's no room
next to you!
So you're getting married, huh?
That's great.
- Yeah.
Yeah.
You know what?
I think I want to see debra.
- No, no, no, no, no.
No, that's forbidden.
Even I know that.
Listen, if I'd seen
your mother before the thing,
I'd be having this conversation
on a beach in jamaica
With my son ruiz.
Here, I got
a better idea for you.
- Jack daniel's?
No, dad.
- Listen to your father,
will you?
Relax!
You're getting all womanly!
Come on.
Have a belt or two.
Take the edge off!
Come on!
- Please, dad.
- Listen to me!
- Hey, ray.
Listen, can I run
my toast by you?
- Not now, robert,
please, okay?
Just not now.
- Sure.
Fine.
It's all about you.
- Well, I'll see you
down front, ray.
And crack the seal
on this hooch.
It got me through.
- Hey, you okay?
- Yeah, yeah, I'm all right.
I'm just--
This whole marriage thing
just spooks me.
I see a lot of bad things.
- What, being a cop and all?
- Mom and dad.
- There's the groom.
- Oh.
- The bride asked us
to deliver this.
- Did she leave?
- No, silly.
- Socks?
- [chuckles]
yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Ten minutes, people.
- Well, here we go.
- Righto!
- So, debra, huh?
- Yeah, yeah, debra, yeah.
- Debra's some girl.
- Yeah, I know.
I know. I know.
Yeah, I know.
- See you out there.
- Okay.
- Okay.
All right.
[soft classical music]
- Where's ray?
- Hey, hi.
Nice to see you.
Oh, boy.
Look at her.
Are you looking, man?
Look. Are you looking?
Hi.
- Hi.
- Hi. Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Thanks.
Thank you.
Thanks for this, really.
Great job.
Go, go, go, you know?
Go sit down.
I got her.
I'll take her the rest
of the way.
- Oh, look at you.
You look fantastic.
- Thanks.
- Hello?
- Hi.
[chuckles]
- Open it up.
- Okay, I'll do it.
I'll do it.
I'll take care of it.
I can do it.
That's okay.
Hi.
Give me the flowers.
- I like that dress.
I do. I like the dress.
- Are you okay?
- Who wouldn't be okay?
Look at you.
You're beautiful.
- You're not freaking out,
are you?
- I'm in love with you.
- Dearly beloved--
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Look at her, huh?
Look at her.
- She is beautiful.
- Hey, she's engaged.
[chuckles]
- "you have come here together
in the sight of god
"so that the lord may seal
and strengthen your love
In the presence of this church
and its community."
- [makes loud kissing noise]
- I now ask the bride and groom
to state their intentions.
Raymond and debra...
- [laughs]
- "have you come here freely
and without reservation
To give yourselves
to each other in marriage?"
- Yes.
- Thanks.
Me too.
Yeah.
- "will you love and honor
each other
As husband and wife
for the rest of your lives?"
- Yes, yes, yes!
[both chuckling]
- Uh, yes.
Stop it.
- What's the matter
with raymond?
- I feel compelled
to say something.
When I first met raymond,
I was less than overwhelmed
By his demeanor towards
the prospect of matrimony.
But now he seems to be
the very personification
Of the wedding spirit.
There is, after all,
No more joyous occasion
than this.
And perhaps our raymond
is behaving today
The way god always intended.
- So that's good, right?
- It is both refreshing
and wonderful.
- Aw.
Are we married yet?
- "do you, raymond,
take debra"...
- Yes.
- Wait.
"to be your wife?"
wait.
"do you promise
to be true to her
In good times and bad?"
Tsk, tsk, tsk.
"to love her and honor her
all the days of your life?"
Now.
- Yes.
Debra?
- I do.
- Thanks.
Hey, is it too late
for that own vows thing?
- You want to say something?
- Yeah, yeah,
I need the ring.
Thanks!
You're little.
I'm sorry I've been
such a jerk.
And I promise
not to be one anymore...
If you'll help me.
- I will.
- You have declared your consent
before the church.
What god has joined,
men cannot divide.
- Let 'em try.
- Oh, I now pronounce you
husband and wife.
[cheers and applause]
- I love you.
- Yeah, you say that now.
- Hey, raymond,
feeling better?
- Yeah, I'm pretty good.
- That was some show
you put on in there today.
[both laugh]
- I thought he was cute.
- Cute?
There's a new word for it.
Well, uh, if you'll
excuse me now,
I'll be at the bar
getting "cute."
- Okay.
Okay, dad.
- What's he talking about, ray?
- Nothing. Nothing.
He talks. He talks.
- Ray, please don't tell me--
- What?
What?
- Were you--
- no.
- Were you--
- no, no, no, listen.
- Oh, my god.
Are you drunk now?
- No, deb--
- oh, my god!
- No!
Debra, no!
No!
- Oh, my--you know, I knew
you were too happy out there.
- I was not.
- What did I do?
How could you do this to me?
Is that what it takes
to marry me?
- No, will you stop?
Look, here, look.
- Oh, my god!
- No, just look at it.
- Why?
Why?
So we can be like two
drunken married idiots together?
- Will you stop it?
Look at it! Look!
I didn't crack the seal.
It's full.
He gave it to me,
but I never opened it.
- So that was you out there?
- I got the socks,
and I started thinking
That was funny,
that you would send me socks.
And then I thought,
"she's kind of funny."
- [chuckles]
- You know, and then I started
thinking about where I was
And you
And us.
And then I didn't need
the socks.
- So that was you happy.
- Yeah.
Don't get used to that.
- Okay.
[glasses chiming]
- [clears throat loudly]
Hello.
I, um, got to make a toast.
I'd like to say
to my brother, raymond,
That even though
there have been times
I felt that he was
the favorite,
That he always got everything
he ever wanted,
I have never felt that more
than I do today.
[all laugh]
I want to wish
these two kids well.
I know success will probably
move them far, far away from us.
But I know somehow
we'll find a way to be together.
- Of course we will.
[sobbing]
- So if everyone
will join me
To mr. And mrs. Raymond barone.
There are some weird things
about my family?
[slow accordion music]
- How could you ever doubt
that I wanted to marry you?
- I'm still not convinced.
- [laughs]
What's it gonna take?
- Okay.
- Debra, why is it that you want
to marry raymond?
- Oh, um, well, uh, you know,
ray is just the--
He's the kindest, sweetest man
I've ever met, you know?
And he has
a wonderful sense of humor.
I mean,
he's not always funny,
But, um, he really is
very clever.
And nobody makes me laugh
like he does.
- Really?
- Yes, and, um,
I don't know.
I guess I've never been
as comfortable with anybody
In fact, you know, just about
the minute I met him,
I knew that he was the one
for me,
So that's it.
[sighs]
- Don't lie.
- I'm not lying.
- Are you lying, debra?
- No!
- Well, then that was lovely.
Raymond, why is it that you wish
to marry debra?
- Um, you said "wish."
- Yeah, yeah,
for me, you said,
"why would you wish
to marry her?"
And for her, you said,
"why would you want
to marry him?"
Yeah, yeah,
there's a subtle thing there.
Yeah.
"why would you want
to marry him?"
- I wouldn't say "would."
- Okay, but still, "wish" was
to me, you know,
Like--like, "yeah, you wish."
- What are you doing?
- Tell him why you want
to marry me!
- Okay.
She's great, all right?
- Great.
I'm going to assume
That you won't be writing
your own vows.
Um, well,
let me ask you this.
Are children planned?
- Oh, yes.
Yes.
We plan on having a big family.
- Raymond?
- Well, I never really
thought about it.
- We talked about it.
- That doesn't mean
I thought about it.
- Actually, uh--
Actually, I am a little pressed
for time today,
But raymond, if I may,
Marriage requires
A great deal
of soul searching
Before a responsible decision
can be made.
Now, you owe that to yourself
and to your intended.
Her.
Now, you can stay and talk
for as long as you want
Or wish.
But I think I--
Oh, good, a funeral.
God bless.
- [sighs]
So want to get
something to eat?
- What did you do?
- What?
What?
- "what"?
He thinks you're a moron.
- Well, you're marrying me.
- Yeah, I know!
- You see?
There it is.
- There what is, ray?
- That you don't really want me.
You want the flowers
and the dresses
And the lamb chops
with the little paper panties.
- You are so full of it.
"oh, she's just using me
So she can have
her big wedding."
You think I'm falling
for that act?
Tell the truth!
You're scared.
You're scared of having
to move out of your mom's house
And start an actual life.
Well, let me
tell you something.
I meant what I said here today.
I love you!
And you love me,
and we are getting married.
You want to act?
Act like you're happy!
You understand me?
Oh, my god.
You know what?
I don't care
if you're scared.
I don't care
if you're nervous.
You got cold feet?
You get some socks!
- She really wants
that wedding.
- Hey, raymond.
- Hey, uncle mel.
How are you?
- I'm good.
You look like a bus toilet.
- Thanks.
Glad you could come.
- This is lewis.
He's my business partner.
- Hey.
How are you?
- We're not gay.
- Okay, then.
Okay.
See you in a bit, right?
[knocking at door]
- I saw you come in here.
- Look, ma, please,
not now, okay?
- Oh, honey, I understand
what you're going through.
You don't think I know?
Oh.
She's very pretty,
isn't she?
- Who, debra?
- It's hard sometimes
with pretty people, you know?
You feel so--you know?
Listen, our family
is not the most--
You know?
Look at your father.
It's not that
I didn't have choices.
But I picked him.
And now--
Oh, raymond, I'm sorry.
[sobbing]
- My god!
- Hey, big crowd.
Hey, listen, debra's father,
what's his name?
- Warren.
- Don't like him.
But the good news is,
you don't marry the parents.
You'll see;
after you're married,
The parents aren't
in your life so much.
- The way your mother
wasn't in my life?
- Aw.
- Don't start with my mother.
- A horrible woman!
- A saint.
She tried to warn me about you.
- Oh, fine.
Move.
You had to ruin
the happiest day of our lives.
And don't sit
next to me in there.
- There's no room
next to you!
So you're getting married, huh?
That's great.
- Yeah.
Yeah.
You know what?
I think I want to see debra.
- No, no, no, no, no.
No, that's forbidden.
Even I know that.
Listen, if I'd seen
your mother before the thing,
I'd be having this conversation
on a beach in jamaica
With my son ruiz.
Here, I got
a better idea for you.
- Jack daniel's?
No, dad.
- Listen to your father,
will you?
Relax!
You're getting all womanly!
Come on.
Have a belt or two.
Take the edge off!
Come on!
- Please, dad.
- Listen to me!
- Hey, ray.
Listen, can I run
my toast by you?
- Not now, robert,
please, okay?
Just not now.
- Sure.
Fine.
It's all about you.
- Well, I'll see you
down front, ray.
And crack the seal
on this hooch.
It got me through.
- Hey, you okay?
- Yeah, yeah, I'm all right.
I'm just--
This whole marriage thing
just spooks me.
I see a lot of bad things.
- What, being a cop and all?
- Mom and dad.
- There's the groom.
- Oh.
- The bride asked us
to deliver this.
- Did she leave?
- No, silly.
- Socks?
- [chuckles]
yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Ten minutes, people.
- Well, here we go.
- Righto!
- So, debra, huh?
- Yeah, yeah, debra, yeah.
- Debra's some girl.
- Yeah, I know.
I know. I know.
Yeah, I know.
- See you out there.
- Okay.
- Okay.
All right.
[soft classical music]
- Where's ray?
- Hey, hi.
Nice to see you.
Oh, boy.
Look at her.
Are you looking, man?
Look. Are you looking?
Hi.
- Hi.
- Hi. Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Thanks.
Thank you.
Thanks for this, really.
Great job.
Go, go, go, you know?
Go sit down.
I got her.
I'll take her the rest
of the way.
- Oh, look at you.
You look fantastic.
- Thanks.
- Hello?
- Hi.
[chuckles]
- Open it up.
- Okay, I'll do it.
I'll do it.
I'll take care of it.
I can do it.
That's okay.
Hi.
Give me the flowers.
- I like that dress.
I do. I like the dress.
- Are you okay?
- Who wouldn't be okay?
Look at you.
You're beautiful.
- You're not freaking out,
are you?
- I'm in love with you.
- Dearly beloved--
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Look at her, huh?
Look at her.
- She is beautiful.
- Hey, she's engaged.
[chuckles]
- "you have come here together
in the sight of god
"so that the lord may seal
and strengthen your love
In the presence of this church
and its community."
- [makes loud kissing noise]
- I now ask the bride and groom
to state their intentions.
Raymond and debra...
- [laughs]
- "have you come here freely
and without reservation
To give yourselves
to each other in marriage?"
- Yes.
- Thanks.
Me too.
Yeah.
- "will you love and honor
each other
As husband and wife
for the rest of your lives?"
- Yes, yes, yes!
[both chuckling]
- Uh, yes.
Stop it.
- What's the matter
with raymond?
- I feel compelled
to say something.
When I first met raymond,
I was less than overwhelmed
By his demeanor towards
the prospect of matrimony.
But now he seems to be
the very personification
Of the wedding spirit.
There is, after all,
No more joyous occasion
than this.
And perhaps our raymond
is behaving today
The way god always intended.
- So that's good, right?
- It is both refreshing
and wonderful.
- Aw.
Are we married yet?
- "do you, raymond,
take debra"...
- Yes.
- Wait.
"to be your wife?"
wait.
"do you promise
to be true to her
In good times and bad?"
Tsk, tsk, tsk.
"to love her and honor her
all the days of your life?"
Now.
- Yes.
Debra?
- I do.
- Thanks.
Hey, is it too late
for that own vows thing?
- You want to say something?
- Yeah, yeah,
I need the ring.
Thanks!
You're little.
I'm sorry I've been
such a jerk.
And I promise
not to be one anymore...
If you'll help me.
- I will.
- You have declared your consent
before the church.
What god has joined,
men cannot divide.
- Let 'em try.
- Oh, I now pronounce you
husband and wife.
[cheers and applause]
- I love you.
- Yeah, you say that now.
- Hey, raymond,
feeling better?
- Yeah, I'm pretty good.
- That was some show
you put on in there today.
[both laugh]
- I thought he was cute.
- Cute?
There's a new word for it.
Well, uh, if you'll
excuse me now,
I'll be at the bar
getting "cute."
- Okay.
Okay, dad.
- What's he talking about, ray?
- Nothing. Nothing.
He talks. He talks.
- Ray, please don't tell me--
- What?
What?
- Were you--
- no.
- Were you--
- no, no, no, listen.
- Oh, my god.
Are you drunk now?
- No, deb--
- oh, my god!
- No!
Debra, no!
No!
- Oh, my--you know, I knew
you were too happy out there.
- I was not.
- What did I do?
How could you do this to me?
Is that what it takes
to marry me?
- No, will you stop?
Look, here, look.
- Oh, my god!
- No, just look at it.
- Why?
Why?
So we can be like two
drunken married idiots together?
- Will you stop it?
Look at it! Look!
I didn't crack the seal.
It's full.
He gave it to me,
but I never opened it.
- So that was you out there?
- I got the socks,
and I started thinking
That was funny,
that you would send me socks.
And then I thought,
"she's kind of funny."
- [chuckles]
- You know, and then I started
thinking about where I was
And you
And us.
And then I didn't need
the socks.
- So that was you happy.
- Yeah.
Don't get used to that.
- Okay.
[glasses chiming]
- [clears throat loudly]
Hello.
I, um, got to make a toast.
I'd like to say
to my brother, raymond,
That even though
there have been times
I felt that he was
the favorite,
That he always got everything
he ever wanted,
I have never felt that more
than I do today.
[all laugh]
I want to wish
these two kids well.
I know success will probably
move them far, far away from us.
But I know somehow
we'll find a way to be together.
- Of course we will.
[sobbing]
- So if everyone
will join me
To mr. And mrs. Raymond barone.
There are some weird things
about my family?
[slow accordion music]
- How could you ever doubt
that I wanted to marry you?
- I'm still not convinced.
- [laughs]
What's it gonna take?