Everybody Hates Chris (2005–2009): Season 1, Episode 10 - Everybody Hates Greg - full transcript

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My sister Tonya was
the baby of the family

So she was used to go
wherever she felt like.

When you have more kids than parents

One of the kids gets the kid.

I got Tonya.

Are you crazy?

I was trying to make
some hot chocolate.

That's not the way you do it.

Why don't you ask somebody for help
before you start messing things up.

And give me the matches!
Are you trying to blow the house up?

Chris, I smelled...



No!

Goodness! Boys are you crazy?

Are you trying to blow
the all house up?

I tried to tell.

Little sisters,
you can't live with them.

And they can accidentally
turn up missing.

Tonya tried to light the stove
but you got blamed?

Yeah. That little girl coughs?
I'd better cover my mouth.

So I think it's pretty cool
having brothers and sisters.

No, you're lucky
you're an only child,

Yeah, I guess.

Brooklyn is filled with black,
couplets and Portoricans,

Greg was probably
the only child there.

It gets lonely once
in a while, you know.



I mean, I don't have
to fight over the TV,

if I want to watch
the basketball game or anything.

At least you get to watch the game.

Every time I turn one the TV,
my sister wants to watch the care bears,

That's a ladies show by the way.

I'm sure having bothers and sisters
would be pretty cool.

I mean, instead I get toys.

I got an Atari.

Wait, you got an Atari!

Atari was the playstation in 1982.

We got one in 1984.
We didn't get a game till 1987.

Yep!
Just got it!

We didn't have any electronic game,
but we had singing into a fan.

Sometime, my mother
would trick us in the work,

opportunely
we were playing the game.

Who wants to play:
clean up this damn house?

I wanted to take the garbage out
competition four years in a row.

Hey! You want to come over
to my house after school?

No. I think I should go home.

Oh, come on. Forget about that.
I live a couple blocks away.

Okay.

Just one game won't hurt!
Right?

- Hey baby!
- Hey babe! How you doin?

Good.

You want something to eat?

Aren't you supposed to be at work?

Well, I have a little time off.

What actually happened was:

Do you have these in a size height?

Do you see me helping somebody else?

Hold that out away people.

I do not need this.
My man has two jobs,

And you ain't no damn eight.
Get her an eleven!

You sure you don't want something?

No, I grabbed some
breakfast with the guys.

I'm pretty tired.

I'm just going to grab a shower
and get some sleep.

Julius?

Yeah?

Well, I was just thinking, hum.

Since we have the house ourselves,
maybe we can,

do something,
we don't usually get to do

What do you have in mind?

My dad liked game shows.

Come on sister,
you can do it.

And he always voted
for the black people.

And if there were no Black people on it,
then he'd vote for anybody with a tan.

What's the next item
up for bids, please?

A new dishwasher.

$430.

I want the first bid from Bennet

Four hundred dollars.

It's good, it's good.
You're right, you're right.

625.
625.

You're fool if you pay that much.

580.

What is a man doing at
eleven o'clock in the morning?

You ain't no job?

430 dollars.

My father was like Rainman when it came
to guess how much something cost.

How do you know that?
We don't even own a dishwasher!

Cause' it cost $430.

Greg's house was a lot different
that what I expected.

I used to think
all white people are rich.

I thought his house would
look more like this:

And the Wuligers parleyed
their fortune in the millions.

And this fabulous estate in Brooklyn.

I hate these plastic covers!

Especially in summer.

They get your legs all sweaty
and make them stick.

My mum uses these plastic covers
so much

she put on a second set
to make sure the first set look nice.

Hey! Where's you mum?

I live with my dad.

They split up.

I had she didn't really get along.

Actually she run off for Greg?s uncle.

That's another episode
on a different show.

Yes!

That's all right!

You better be happy I don't
have one of these.

Else I'd be tearing you up!

I got to go.

Hey, you want to come back over
to my house tomorrow?

You lucky I'm leaving now!

I see you tomorrow.

When my mother was gossiping,
nothing else matter.

Even my father sleepin'

So he takes you to dinner.

And orders a Chikuwa special.

And he said what?

Rochelle!
Rochelle!

I got to go to work
in a few hours, OK?

OK.

Alright

STOP!

Julius, you got to hear this.
You know that guy Marcus?

That works for UPS with
the stinky come-on.

He took Sheila to the movies,
bought this big old thing of popcorn,

two hot dogs,

she asked for just a little piece,

he told her no!

- Sheila say "Hi", baby.
- Hey Sheila.

Oh girl!
He's trying to sleep.

He'd better have big feet be catchy.

My dad hate losing sleep.

But he was happy
when she talks to her girlfriend.

That way he didn't have to to it.

Julius, you're not gonna believe this!

You know the girl Jody Watley
that used to be on the Soul Train?

Well, I heard that
she's leaving the group Shalamar,

and start a new group
without Fernand Simpson.

Can you believe that?

- That's something!
- Ain't it!?

I stopped listening at Jody Watley.

Right.

Julius, you smell smoke?

No... I... When smoke?

Oh no, he try to sleep.
CHRIS!

Sheila, let me call you back.
OK.

Chris!

What in the world?
Move, girl...

Tonya what are you doing?

- Chris did it!
- Chris!

Chris isn't here.

- Oh, where is he?
- I don't know.

Who put this pot on the stove?

Wasn't me.

Because of those two words,
Drew never got in trouble.

Who tore up my backseat?

Wasn't me.

Who left my nickel lain out
here on the sidewalk?

Wasn't me.

- Who spilled these oatmeal?
- Wasn't me.

Would you believe those
were is first words?

Tonya, what is this mess girl?

I was trying to make hot chocolate.

I don't you fooling around with this
hot chocolate, do you hear me?

Now get upstairs, before
I make your behind hot!

I thought I'd see George Bush in a
do-rag before Tonya got in trouble.

And where were you?
You're late.

My bus broke down.

Next time,
you better get of and fix it.

Yes mum.

All right, I admit it.
I'm hooked.

I felt so good to see
Tonya gets in trouble yesterday,

What they did to her?

- My mum knocked all her teeth out.
- Really?

No, she just sent her upstairs
to her room.

But I wish would have
smashed her teeth off.

Yes!

Oh, man,
it's four thirty.

Four thirty!
You got to go!

I'm not supposed to have
any company over.

If my dad found out you're in here,
he's gonna kill me.

No!
You got to hide!

Hide! I can't hide! I got to go. If I
don't get home, my mum's gonna kill me.

Chris, I'm serious!

Chris, you got to hide.

Greg looked at me like
his father was Ike Turner.

Go! Go!
Go!

Get in there.

As soon as the couch is clear,
I snick you at the back

Who are you talking to?

Talking to myself.

If you're lonely, I get you a gerbil.
Get ready for dinner.

I get to get out of here.

When is Chris coming home?

I don't know. Why?

Because I want to cut the hair
of my doll's head.

But I won't do it
until he is here.

Without me in the house to blame,
Tonya actually had to act right

- Is Chris here yet?
- Nope.

Damn!

- Is Chris home yet?
- No.

Damn!

- Is Chris here yet?
- No.

Damn!

I sure will be glad
when Chris gets back.

Chris?

Chris?

While I was hiding in the closet,
the only thing I could thing about,

was getting the hell out of there
and getting home.

The biggest difference between being

in a black neighborhood
and a white neighborhood,

is that the black guys
will beat you up and rob you.

The white guys just beat you up.

Even I was scared, I figured
the best way to get through this,

was to act like I belong.

Get out of here!

What do we got here!

Watermelon keeps walking.
You got to...

They come out with this stuff.

Watch your back!

Gregory.
You got dent sole in my sofa.

You sit in one spot.

And can you drink out of one glass?

This is like CSI in Brooklyn.

Gregory.

Did you have somebody over here?

I told you. No company when
I'm not here.

Dad, I had my friend Chris over
after school.

We played video games and stuffs.

Next time, you want to have somebody in
here, you ask first, you understand!?

Dad.

He's still here.

- Chris?
- Chris is home.

- Is Chris here yet?
- No.

- Who cut you doll's hair off?
- It wasn't me.

Julius, wake up.

Julius!

A thousand seven hundred and sixty two
dollars and ninety five.

Julius!

What!
Did you win?

Chris isn't home yet.

Did you check his room?

I looked all over the house.
He's not here.

He should have been home
a long time ago.

Do you think Chris is dead?

In my neighborhood, being fifteen
minutes late, could mean you dead.

He's not dead.
He's just late.

Still no dead!

Hey!

Chris!

Do you know this kid?

Yeah, sure.

You know that guy?

- Let's go!
- Hold on!

Get in!

Did he said he was doing
something after school?

No. He was just supposed
to pick up in the dry clean.

Maybe it wasn't done yet.

I see if he is over here.

Chris!

Chris, oh thank goodness,
are you okay?

Yeah, I'm okay.

I'm so happy you're alright.

I'm a kill you!
Where have you been boy?

Who are you?

Wuliger. Art Wuliger,
I'm Greg's dad.

Greg who?

I'm Greg.
We go to school together.

Greg asked me to come
over after school.

We've just hanging out.

...just hanging out.
We've just hanging out.

I'm over here, worried sick,
and you're just hanging out.

Have you lost your mind?

If you go over somebody's house,
you get to let somebody know.

They don't have a phone
in Greg's house?

Look, I don't care where you are

You be like E.T.,
you phone home!

I need to know, where you are,
who you with, and what you?re doing.

How I know you're not out these
selling drugs?

I mean, you could be kingpin in a
Columbian drug cartel for all I know.

I'm not out these selling drugs.

You do I know that?

My mother had one golden leit
for her kids.

Don't sell drugs!

As long as they weren't doing that,

almost everything else was okay.

Mam, you're boy shot the mayor.

- Did he sell drug?
- No.

Get in here boy.

Man, you're son kill the governor,
kidnapped his daughter,

robbed the President
and ran a red light.

- He is selling no drugs, did he?
- No mam'.

Get here.

Upstairs!
Right now.

Is Chris gonna get in trouble?

Is that your business?

Hey.

- Thanks for bringing him home.
- Yeah.

Next time,
keep a better eye on your kid.

Hey!

What are you trying to say?

I'm just saying,
I'm on my own,

I work,

I got my own kid,

you think I got time to run around
the neighborhood looking for your kid?

I said "Thank You".

What you want?
A cookie?

He so do want a cookie!

Your boy's do want
have him over there.

Oh!
He didn't kidnap him.

You know what?

You don't have to worry about Chris
from here and on out.

It sounds like the best idea
I've heard all night.

Come on, Greg.

Greg!

Hey.

You get in a lot of trouble?

My dad grounded me.

Plus, he took my Atari for a week.

What about you?

My mum said, if I ever did that again,
she slapped all the tartar of my teeth,

Plus my dad said,
I can't come over any more.

Lucky for you!
Cause next time you played,

I was going to stomp you.

Man, you wish!

Well,
see you.

Yeah.
See you.

Hey!

You dad said,
you can't come over to my house,

He didn't said,
I can't come over to yours.

Even though, we were spending
twelve cents worth of electricity,

my father thought, it was worth it.

Greg.

Hey dad,

What's this?

How you doin?

I went over to Chris's house.
His dad brought me home.

Look. I think we got off
on the wrong foot.

I just didn't want that
to get in the way of the boys

You two are real buddies?

Yeah.

Anyway, I just wanted to make sure
Greg made it home okay,

Yeah, thanks.

Hey dad!
Can Chris stay for a while?

Yes, sure.

Julius, you would be a drinking man?

Is it cold?

Come on.

After that, things king of
went back to normal.

Mum started working again.

So she let dad get some sleep.

Drew still didn't get
blamed for anything.

Even though Tonya get on my nerves,

I thought maybe, it was time to do
something nice for her.

Now, that's like you
make hot chocolate.

Thanks, Chris.

Hum, Hum,
what are you doing?

Have a hot chocolate.

I told her, she couldn't have
any hot chocolate.

That's what I tried to tell.