Euphoria (2012–2013): Season 1, Episode 3 - Episode #1.3 - full transcript

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Previously:
Hello.
Is Naama home?

Naama left.
She went to "Miranda El Silo."

Where are you going?
To "Miranda El Silo."

What will you do there?
We're looking for someone.

Got anything for this girl?
Ash, downers, liquor?

Tell her to come see what I have.
She never leaves the house.

Why not?
Because.

Ready for the beach?

Do we know each other?
Looking for "material?"

We both know about his "girl trouble."

Zohar, do you know about
your "girl trouble?"



You're finally here.

We made room for you.

My show is on!

Heppiness returns in a new telenova,
"The Weeks of Our lives."

Going out tonight?

Rani and I are going to
dinner with my parents.

When will they meet me?

Do you know how fucked up your mind is?

Instead of living a healthy life,
live how you want to be remembered.

Why do you care how you're remembered?

What will you do to me tomorrow?
What about tomorrow?

Forget her, bro. She is a sinking ship.

Just waiting to drown. There are
things you do not know.

Mastoli, where are you going?



Mastoli!

Who is that?
Kino. It's his house.

He sleeps in the middle of the day?
He loves to sleep.

You cannot go to "Mirando El Silo."

Research says that, at the age of
eighteen, your happiness will plummet.

Your happiness will continue
to fall until age forty-six.

Then, suddenly, your
happiness will reset.

Only when you reach age seventy-five
will you be really happy.

That's what the research says.

The peak of happiness in your life...

Hello.
Hello.
Hello.

Because you will no longer be afraid of dying.

According to the laws of nature,
we are supposed to die at thirty.

So, that means we are supposed
to have a child by twelve.

Why are people shocked that we are
so horny starting at age eleven?

Who knows.

Here, we had to go to Dad at fifteen.

And tell him, "I know better than
you and I'm leaving home."

But we we're supposed to die at thirty.

Do you think she will remember me?

Of course she'll remember you.

Why? Are you scared?

No.
Good.

Shit.

Hello there.

I'm late for work.

By three hours.

Want me to write you a note?

You're very late.

Three hours late? Such things are not appreciated at work.

Don't worry, there is always tomorrow.

What do you want to try next?
Paralysis.

Paralysis?
That's what I call it.

It causes complete paralysis,
but not loss of consciousness.

And what will it give?

You can see and feel everything,
but not move.

Why would anyone want to...

Euphoria

What's the rush?
You don't say hello anymore?

Look, I have a very important
mission to raise awareness.

To help all the children that are suffering.

For all the kids who are fat, to get over it...

...and lose weight.

I was fat...

...no, really fat. Big as a bear.

It's simple, just lose weight.

Heppiness, our viewers want to know one thing.

Do you have a girlfriend?
Are you dating anyone?

People who know you claim you
have never dated anyone.

Do you want to go out with me?

You know, a little, yes.
But, seriously?

Look, I'd rather concentrate
on my career right now.

And making dreams come true.

So, is something wrong with you?

The fans want to know.

Dude, I'm depressed.

Porn wrecked your brain, huh?

Being fat did.

It's not from fat, it's porn.

If you start porn at eleven,
you can ruin your life.

Soon, a naked woman starts to bore you.

So you say, why not two women?

What does that help?
They are already boring to you.

God.

Then you say, why not three women?

Another woman.

Still boring.

So you add another guy.

Then add the neighbor, his dog, and mother.

And why not add bondage and pee? Then boom.

Slippery slope. Everything bores you.

What then?

9 pornos a day, 364 days a year.

What? Skipping Yom Kippur?

Then you find a sweet girl.

A real, sweet girl with real feelings and emotions.

Now, you do not stand a chance.

No chance at all.
Shut up, Elkana.

You are such an open book, Heppiness.

You cannot lose weight without working at it.

Which girl do you feel most comfortable with?

With my mother.

What? No, I said "girl."

I don't know.
With your cleaning lady.
What about Mona?

She does not patronize you.
She smiles when she sees you.

She is a maid.
On the contrary, she is cosmopolitan.

Let's say, she is doing laundry.
You walk in.

Say, "Oh, I forgot to undress."

"Can you wash my underwear?"

Then boom, you are naked.

All your fears will be instantly released.

Mona, huh?

Hello. Have you arrived at...

What?

Are you ok?
Are you bored?

Sometimes you sit here, then
disappear for a few days.

Is that against the law?

I'm just curious.
I'm just sitting.

Did your parents kick you out?

I told them, if they said
one more derogatory word,

they would lose their son.
I warned them.

What's your name?
Mastoli.

I live just up the street if...

You can stay there in the meantime.
I have a spare mattress.

Hey, man.
Hello.

Welcome to your bar mitzvah.
Where is your tallit?

Wear your tallit, take your Torah, sing after me.

Songs and songs woven.
Songs and songs woven.

To you my soul longs.
To you my soul longs.

The hymns of the Torah are woven.
The hymns of the Torah are woven.

Blessed be the Lord God.

Blessed be the Lord God.
What is it?
What?

Tell me, are you stupid?
What? What? Sure, why?

Is this how you learn for a bar mitzvah?
Sure.

Do you think it makes sense?
The Chinese are making ad revenue off you.

So what? It's a free video.

Mordechai's wife can teach you from the original text. No, thanks.

The Chinese are making money off you, an Arab.

The website pays him for views.
What?

They make money off you, idiot.

Are you afraid to undress at the beach?

You need a six pack.

Look, this is how it is done...
...cherry that grows on this tree.

For her, it is no problem.

Acorn of chickpeas.
What?

Acorn of chickpeas, too.
Well, it grows on a tree.

For her? No problem.
.. and cashews.
Next.

Cashews, also grown on trees.
That's right.

Where are you heading to next?
Please go to the grocery store.

Hey, Heppiness. Sorry, sorry, may I...
Cocoa powder, pecans, ...

Pomegranate.
What?
Pomegranate, honey, ...

Elkana, are you there?

Hey, Mona.
Hey.

Do you want my clothes?
To wash?

Do you want me to wash them?
I don't know.

No problem, there is room. I'll wait.

Mona, do you think I should get a haircut?
What?

Here, try feeding them.
This food is good for their bones.

So cute.

Well, should we go out together?
Where?

Don't you have classes to go to?
I don't go to school.

Do you?
I work.
Wait, what are you doing?

I'm leaving.
One second, I'll get dressed.

You don't have to rush.
You can leave when you're ready.

How do I lock up when I leave?

It doesn't have a lock.
Just shut the door so the dogs don't get out.

Hey.
Yes?

Would it be a problem if I
stayed with you for a while?

Yes, of course.

Thanks.
Of course.

Hey, Bro.
Hey, Bro.

I have a tempting offer for you.
Not interested.

I'm making you a "YouTube sensation."
What? Not interested.

Do you know how much money you can make?

$300,000 for 60-million views.
Something like that.

No, 10-million dollars.
Come on, are you chicken?

People would watch.
You are full of life wisdom.

I can help you make a million dollars.
You can be king of the world.

Bye, bastard.

Where's your brother?
What do you want from my brother?
Come on!

Where, where, where. Dude, I don't know.
I'm just asking.

With a chick.
A chick?

But he is so awkward around chicks.

Epinephrine 20mg?
Yes.

Dormicum 150mg?
Yes.

Propofol 10mg?
Yes.

Now we need an oxygen supply.

Type "medical equipment,"
and see how much it costs.

Hi, Hofit.

I need your credit card number.

I need to buy supplies for my new "invention."

Can I borrow it?

Wait a second. I need to
find a pen and paper.

Wait, wait. I'm still looking.

Ok, I'm ready.

4580...2268...228...426

Expiration? 12/15.

Thanks. I really appreciate it.

Run away, sock hat!

Run away, you dick!

That's Keno's friend.

Hey, Bro. What's up?

Hey, Bro.

I have a tempting offer for you.
Not interested.

I'm making you a "YouTube sensation."
Not interested.

Why not? Do you know how
much money you can make?

$900,000 for 70-million views.

No, no. 10-million dollars.

You are such a guru.
Bye, Pashush.

Hey, Mona.

Do you need something?

Want to see something funny?
Want to come with me?

It's just something funny.
Really funny. Come, come.

Come.

Come on, sit here. Don't be afraid.

Ok, I hope you like it.

I'm watching this because
it's fun, you know.

I'm not a pervert, it's
for laughter, for fun.

You know, funny things can help you relax.

Do you like it, too?

I love it, you know.

You can learn so much about the
world from porn. It's insane, it's...

On this site, there's more than
6-million videos from wall to wall.

I guess I've seen them all.

This one's a, is in America.

It's so funny in America. You know, college parties...

...black dudes that fuck white mothers, and...

"Watch your mom go black."
It's funny.

You know, everybody is so, so beautiful, they're so thin.

You laugh, you cry.

Brazil has this kind of beach. There are dwarfs there.

Tiny, tiny dwarfs. It's hilarious.
It's hilarious.

Oh, in Japan, they always say rape.

Yeah, terrorist porn, psycho porn. Yeah.

And, wow, they love sexy trains. Yeah.

And one girl, many, many men.

Yes, all men and one girl.

But you know, Mona, it's too much for me.

I have to stop.

I wanted to try the...
real thing, you know.

Once, just once.

Are we good?

The real thing, ok?

Ok?
Yeah...fun.

Fun?
Ok, fun.

Ok, fun.
Yeah.

Ok, cool, hot.

Come on, I think it would just be best if...

...you stand by the chair and put your hands here.

Your parents!

My sister.
Not interested.

Why not? You can make a lot of money.

How will money help me?
Move.

You could do all the drugs you want.

What would I have to do?
You already do it.

He will cook the drugs, you will take the drugs,
and I will record. The world will watch.

Each day, a new drug?
You won't regret it.
She's laughing at you.

Alright, Pashush.
Make us a "YouTube sensation."

Do you want to?
No, I don't.

Do you own a camera?

My friend's house.

What smells so good?
Dinner.

But it's only noon.
That doesn't matter. You just
got home from work. Sit.

Bon appetit.

Here's to smiling...

...and to life.

To a great person.

To life, health, and happiness.

Tasty?

Tell me, why aren't you married?

Why not?

Hello students, welcome to our classroom.

Allow me to introduce Professor Zahavatand
and Professor Hafifa. What is today's lesson?

First, we extract adrenaline from a pig's kidney.

It has the potential to accelerate a heartbeat past
maximum, to the point at which it can explode.

Adrenaline is classified as norepinephrine.

You can get it from a friend that works in an ambulance.

Then we added succinyl choline
which completely stops the muscles.

The entire body will be essentially turned off.

Completely conscious, but paralyzed.

You would be unable to move.
But it makes you want to move.

Makes me really want to try it.

At first, this drug will also
paralyze the respiratory muscles.

They will not be able to breathe
for about 30 seconds.

Sometimes it takes a little longer.

It's important to saturate
the hemoglobin in the blood...

From 20% to 100% oxygen.

For this oxygen...

A percentage of people don't have
the enzyme that breaks down succinyl.

They will not be able to
breathe and will die.

Russian roulette with enzymes.
Drum roll, please.

It can also produce light hallucinations.

We mix it with crumbled ephedrine.

We aren't afraid of it.

Hear O Israel, our god is the Lord.

At this point, they are paralyzed.

Alert, but paralyzed.

Let's check.

Yep, they are paralyzed.

I'm addicted to drugs.
I'm addicted to you.

Sometimes, I hate you. Then, I love her.
Pathetic.

I have to go.
Wait for me?

Wait for you or run away?
I don't know.

You better call me.
I don't want to impose.

I've never loved you. Understand?

No, thanks.

The shower is free. Feel free...

Do you want me to shower first?
Shower...cool.

Do you have poppers?
What?

Poppers, to sniff.
I don't think so.

You know, I won't hurt you.

Are you ok?
Yes. Are you?

I took into account that you are
gay, and that doesn't bother me.

I respect you.

I'm gay friendly.
What am I supposed to give you?
Nothing.

Nothing? Did you take me in because
you are trying to be nice to strangers?
Yes, trying.

Is he always asleep?

Ever since I've known him.

How long have you known him?

Keno?

We've never actually been able to talk.

We don't know each other.
But you live together.

Well, he sleeps a lot.

We met at a party at the "Titanic."

I was on a date with some fucking...
with Yizhar the maniac. Forget he ever existed.

And he was with his friend.

Isn't it time for bed?

What, don't want to spoon?
The mattress is shit.

It's ok. I'll sleep on it.

No one should sleep on it.
It's fine.

Talk about the episode on Euphoria's Facebook page.

Hello, how are you?
Hello, how's it going?

Doing well, thank you.
Welcome strangers.

Do you know how to get
to "Mirando El Silo?"

"Mirando El Silo?"

The commander. The commander is the
only one who can take you there.

Where can we find him?
By the lake.
What lake?

You will enter the river
at a certain point.

On the eastern side of the forest.

Walk directly west. Straight west.

You will find it in the middle of the
road, on the west side of the forest.

Where is this place?
Do you know how to get in?

The fisherman. The fisherman
know. Ask them.

Are you sure you want
to cross the forest?

Talk about the episode on Euphoria's Facebook page.

Next episode:

A year ago, at age sixteen.

Your parents left, understand?

But you have a home.
There's a party tonight.

A party at some club.
With the girls?
With someone.
Is he cute?
Yeah.

Let's follow her. Not on Facebook, for real.

What? So I can see her?

Not right now.
Ok.

What? Do I look gay to you?
You're blocking the door.

Perfect. We got stuck with the losers.

Ever heard of "Mirando El Silo?"
What's that mean?
Through death.

What's wrong? Are you scared?

Here, take it. I don't have
the energy to pity you.

Titanic!

Where are you travelling?
To "Mirando El Silo."

What is "Mirando El Silo?"

A jungle. People disappear there.
Really?

What will happen to us?
I'll be fat and you'll be gay.

Let's leave, man. She's not worth
more than a quickie in the bathroom.

I don't understand. Why would
a fat person love a gay?

Fat is derogatory, like gay.

I have one girl and you defile her?
Eh? Who?

What the fuck, weakling?
Get beat!