Escape to the Chateau DIY (2018–2021): Season 4, Episode 1 - Episode #4.1 - full transcript

I'm Dick Strawbridge,

and along with my wife Angel...

Angel: Hello!

Dick, voice-over:
and our two children,

we've lived
in this magnificent chateau

for the past 5 years.

Angel: Aw. It's lovely.

Dick: It's my little corner
of paradise.

Angel: Ha ha ha!

Dick, voice-over:
It's not just our home...

Angel: Ohh!
Dick: Ha ha ha!



Dick, voice-over:
but our business...

Dick: That's a proper kiss!

Dick, voice-over: and with over
a thousand chateaus in France...

-Wow.
-Oh, my God!

Absolutely incredible.

Dick, voice-over: we're not
the only Brits

buying into
the French fairytale.

- Do you like it?
- Wow.

I mean, yes.
It is gorgeous.

Dick, voice-over: We'll follow
more daring owners...

It looks to be
a massive undertaking.

Dick, voice-over:
and familiar faces...

Why?

Dick, voice-over: as they battle
to renovate their homes...



That is disgusting.

Dick, voice-over:
and we'll reveal more

about our own chateau life.

Angel: That is lovely
Ha ha ha!

Dick, voice-over:
There'll be ups...

[Gasps]

Well done! This is beautiful.

Dick, voice-over: and downs...

- What are you gonna day?
- It's gonna take all day.

Yeah, but there's
no alternative.

Dick, voice-over: but however
hard the going gets...

No!

Dick, voice-over:
these plucky Brits...

Ohh!

Dick, voice-over: get to live
the dream as custodians...

God bless France.

Dick, voice-over:
of their very own castle.

Today, at this chateau,
the owner ventures

onto her roof.

Fiona:
Oh, the glamour of it all, huh?

I could be having lunch
at Covent Garden with the girls.

Those days are gone.

Dick, voice-over: One couple
tackles the next stage

of their renovations.

Erin: Oh, look at that
horrible, hairy under layer.

Not quite screaming
chateau chic just yet.

Dick, voice-over: At our place,
it's bonfire night...

Dick: Hands up anybody who's
ever made a Guy before.

Dick, voice-over: and it's
my wardrobe going up in flames.

Dick: Those are
really good socks!

I hope they're two odd ones.

If I've got another pair
like this,

there'll be hell to pay.

Dick, voice-over: And it's
party time at this chateau...

Sasha: Jeez.

Dick, voice-over: but will it
end up being

murder on the dance floor?

- Don't blame us.
- Of course I'm blaming you.

Bloody disaster.

Dick: There are around 150,000
Brits living in France,

and for those of us lucky enough
to have our own castle,

every season throws up
chateau-sized challenges.

Take the striking 12th century
Chateau du Masgelier.

Once a stomping ground
for French royalty,

it's now home
to DIY fanatic Fiona Jones.

Fiona: Oh.

Dick: She lives here
with her son Louie...

Fiona: Oh, that's it. Perfect.
Thanks, darling. Hold on.

Dick: and has spent
the last 6 years

singlehandedly renovating
the place

from top to bottom,

though it's still
a work in progress.

Fiona: Most times,
I'm walking around,

look like the Scarecrow
out of "The Wizard of OZ"

with my hair in the air
and not a scrap of makeup.

Got to be a tomboy, haven't you?
You got to be a tomboy.

Don't buy a castle
if you can't get dirty.

Dick: Located in the rural
Limousin area,

Fiona plans to renovate
the 13-bedroom medieval chateau

to offer guest accommodation.

Last summer, she began work
on the chateau's first floor.

It was a messy job...

Fiona: Ohh!

Dick: but her determination
paid off

as she created
a lavish guest hallway,

and she hosted
her first ever wedding.

Fiona: How gorgeous,
don't you think?

This summer has shown
so much progression,

which has been fabulous.

I'm so pleased with the way
the year

has actually turned out.

[Cheering]

Dick: Now with winter setting in
and temperatures plummeting,

Fiona is reluctantly putting
the rest

of the first floor renovations
on hold.

Fiona: The rooms are
very, very big,

and, because It's so cold,
paints don't dry,

plaster doesn't dry,
cement doesn't dry.

No matter how much you try
to heat the rooms,

they're always fighting
against the weather,

so you have to kind of think,
"Well, what can I do

during the wintertime?"

You know, I can't sit
there on my hands.

Dick: Completely understand,

so Fiona's planning to spend
the winter working

on the chateau's top floor,

where the servants' quarters
once were.

Here, there are 5 small rooms
in need of renovation

that should be easier
to keep warm.

Fiona: The nice thing is
each room is so individual,

you can just really let your
imagination run away with you

when you're doing
interior design.

Dick: Fiona's main challenge
is the bedroom

that's been chosen for her
26-year-old daughter Rochelle,

who plans to visit
in two months' time.

Fiona: Want her to have a room
that she can call her own,

rather than staying
in the guest bedroom,

so she's close with Louie
and myself.

Dick: But that's easier
said than done.

Fiona: So she's given me
a brief.

"No birds, no flowers,
no French style,

no French cottage feel,"

um, everything
that I was going to do.

Um, and "nowhere near
the creepy dungeons!"

exclamation mark.

So, um, yeah, what can I say?

High-maintenance, huh?

Dick: It looks like Fiona may
have her work cut out.

Before she can make a start,
there are some

vital checks to carry out
in the attic above.

Fiona: Every winter, I like
to, you know, literally

come up, give it
a good once over.

You can generally tell
if any of the slates

have moved and shifted,

and just see if there's
any major wet sections.

Dick: Chateau rooves
are renowned for being

problem areas.

They're high, huge,
and hard to work on,

as we know to our cost.

You should not be able to see
the sky out of your roof.

It is quite a serious problem.

So in a 12th century chateau
like Fiona's,

a winter roof check
is essential.

Fiona: Don't buy a chateau
that's got a really bad roof.

I can't even talk about how much
it would cost

to roof a chateau.

Nightmare.

Dick: Great that it's insulated,

but with the whole roof
to check,

this could take a while.

Fingers crossed that
there's no bad news,

or that bedroom renovation
will just have to wait.

Over 200 miles south lies

the beautiful 19th century,
39-room

Chateau du Puits es Pratx.

Set amongst a vineyard,
it's a family-run hotel

and home to Londoners
Tim and Sasha.

Sasha: Walking through
the front gates

and being faced with this
amazing courtyard,

I just fell in love with it.

Tim: I was a photographer,

Sasha was a fashion designer,

and then we're running a hotel.

It's weird.

Dick: Set in
the Occitanie countryside,

Tim and Sasha moved here
15 years ago.

Their lifeblood is weddings,
which they run

with their daughter Lily
and her boyfriend Luke.

Tim: Having your own daughter
working for you,

it can't get any better.

Luke's an amazing guy,
and we're very lucky

that he's come along.

Sasha: Perfect. I hope that
one day Luke and Lily

can take the reins
from Tim and I.

That's the way it should be.

We've got the Italian pork,

we've got the ribs,
we've got...

Dick: Whilst Sasha and Lily,
who's a trained chef,

run the kitchen...

Lily: I normally end up
doing a lot of bossing around.

Sasha: Yeah. She's
the bossy one, not me.

Lily: I like to have
things organized.

Tim: It's all fine as long
as the string doesn't break.

Dick: Tim and Luke look
after the front of house.

Tim: Welcome
to Chateau du Puits es Pratx.

Sasha: We have to work
really hard, long, long hours,

but it's fulfilling.

Woman: Thank you.
Sasha: Mmm. Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

Dick: Even in the offseason...

Sasha: Look at these
little beauties.

- Aren't they great?
- Lovely.

Dick: there's no time to rest

with a New Year's Eve party
to organize.

Tim: For New Year's Eve,
we put on a really big spread,

7-course dinner,

and then we bring in
entertainment.

I've got my
jazz quartet performing

while people are dining.

Sasha's crazy disco
will start at 12:00.

Our aim is always people
go away happy.

Dick: Party, party, party,

but there's a serious
side to it, too.

- 220.
- 220.

Let's go and measure
the decoration.

Dick: The evening will bring in
low-season income,

and with their 60 guests
coughing up £75 each,

they can't afford for it to
be anything less than perfect.

Tim: It's all got tangled up.

It's probably the most special
party evening of the year.

The French take New Year's Eve
very seriously,

more so than Christmas.

Dick: Sasha and Lily are
in charge of creating

an opulent 7-course
gourmet feast,

and they have a lot
on their plate.

Sasha: Lily is busy
making biscuits

that go with the cheese course.

I'm concentrating on all
of the glazes, the sauces

so nothing is left
for a panic at the last minute.

Dick: It seems as though
it's all sussed

behind the scenes,

and at front of house,
the boys are going

the extra mile
with the decorations.

Tim: This is when it
might all collapse.

This is actually very heavy.

Dick: They need to make sure
Sasha gives them

her seal of approval.

Tim: This will go up
a little bit further,

another 6 inches,

and then we'll rig up
the pulley and string.

Sasha: Yeah. I think
that's great.

Dick: Nice work, Tim.

Fingers crossed the rest
of the preparations go

as smoothly.

This is the stunning
Chateau de Bourneau.

Built in renaissance style
in the 19th century,

it has 50 rooms,

40 acres of land,

and its very own moat.

JB: Wobbly?
Erin: That's not very wobbly.

Dick: Its lucky owners
are former anesthetist Erin

and her French fiancé
engineer JB,

who have put their careers
on hold to follow

the chateau dream.

Erin, voice-over: We had a real,
as the French say,

coup de foudre, so real,
like, love at first sight

for this one because it has
this real fairytale feel.

It was this, "Ahh,"
and we thought,

"This is the one."

Dick: Over 100 miles south
from our place

in the Pays de la Loire,
they bought it in 2018

for £560,000 with the aim
of opening it

as a wedding and events venue.

JB: This is the old foundation.

Oh, it's soaking wet.
Erin: Yeah.

Dick, voice-over: Last time,
I helped them tackle an issue

caused by their moat.

Dick:
Your fundamental problem is

we're below water level.

Erin: Think that's the thing.
Owning a chateau

is not like glamorous at all.

Dick: But it didn't dampen
their enthusiasm.

They created a honeymoon suite

and transformed the solarium
into a guest breakfast room

that even got the seal
of approval form the locals.

JB: We are now at a stage
when we can start

welcoming parties.

This is what this place
was made for.

Erin: What do you think
is the better one?

Dick: Erin and JB have made
a great start to chateau life

but have to rely on income
from 4 holiday cottages

also on the estate.

Erin: We're lucky enough
that our holiday cottage side

of things keeps things
in balance,

but we do obviously
need to make more

in order to continue
the renovations.

JB: Yeah. At the moment,
it's quite, um, tight.

Dick: Extra funds would
certainly come in handy

as they're about to tackle
a major project.

Erin: So go and plan.

Tackling
the south corridor today.

Dick: They're planning
on transforming

the chateau's south wing.

It was last used
as a nursing home

over 20 years ago.

It currently has
6 outdated rooms,

which they plan to convert
into 5 luxury

en suite guest bedrooms.

Erin: We would really like to
create a really beautiful,

upmarket space.

There's a huge amount of work.

JB: Only thing we are
more or less sure to keep

is the corridor.

[Both laughing]

Erin: Yeah.

Secondary
to the honeymoon suite,

this is probably our
most impressive bedroom.

It's got lovely,
beautiful turrets.

- It's a reasonable size.
- Yeah.

There's also a sort of
side annex room

that could potentially lend
itself nicely

to a bathroom, as well,
so I think this one has

a few more interesting features,

which could make it
really beautiful,

and I don't know
how feasible this is,

but I think what would be
really lovely

is to turn this room,
the turret,

into a really amazing
shower room.

JB: Oh, really?
Erin: Yeah.

I mean, the drainage is gonna be
a massive,

massive problem obviously,

and plumbing,
this would be a problem,

but nothing's impossible.

Dick: Not impossible maybe,

but I feel your pain, JB.

Putting a bathroom into this
150-year-old turret

is going to be interesting.

JB: You really want
a shower here?

Erin: It's just a suggestion.
I mean, obviously

if it's entirely impossible,
then we need to be logical,

but it's such a beautiful
room, isn't it?

Can you imagine how impressive
that would be?

JB: It would be fantastic.
Erin: Yeah.

JB: It would be
pretty impressive.

Erin: If we remove all
of the lino,

we may find that
there's actually

original plumbing under there.

JB: Yeah.
Erin: Heh.

Dick: That might be
wishful thinking,

but I'm as intrigued
as they are.

What lurks under
the manky, old lino?

Erin: Fingers crossed
underneath here is

the original floorboards
and not too difficult to remove,

even if there's two layers
of lino.

Should we get cracking then?

[Piano playing]

Dick: Down
in the South of France,

at Chateau du Puits es Pratx,
preparations are in full swing

for Tim and Sasha's
New Year's Eve Party.

Singer: * My baby
just cares for me *

Dick: Tim is putting
his jazz band

through their paces.

Singer: * My baby don't care
who knows it *

Tim: Should we just do
an instrumental?

Singer: Yeah.

Dick: And in the kitchen,
daughter Lily

is preparing
the lavish 7-course meal.

Lily: Most of the courses
we can plate up in advance,

and that will really help
the service go smoothly

and run well.

Dick: The party will bring
in low-season income,

and they want to impress
their guests

to make sure they keep
coming back in the future.

Sasha: * Let your yeah be yeah *

That's a good one.

Dick: Music is essential
for any good party,

so as well as Tim's band,
Sasha's DJing a disco

to see in the New Year.

Sasha: Mark Ronson.

Oh, "Volaré," "Volaré."
That's classic.

Woman: "La Bomba" is a good one.
Sasha: And "La Bomba."

Dick: It's down to Sasha
to get it right,

so she's roped in French
colleague Stephanie

to help come up
with a perfect play list.

Sasha: On New Year's Eve,
we have tables

from Germany, Spain,
France, and England,

so it's really important
for us to be able

to entertain who we have here
without an English bias.

After "Auld Lang Syne,"
we go immediately

into "Allumer Le Feu."

Stephanie: Oh! "Le Yoki."

Sasha: "Le Yoki."
Stephanie: Ah, yes.

Sasha: So we could do
the "Rock Around the Clock"

because then that's
for the English.

Foreign pop.

Stephanie: "La Macarena."

Sasha: "La Macarena."
Stephanie: Yeah. "La Macarena."

You can have your
Village People, "YMCA."

Sasha: Oh, that's a bit naff.

Put that a bit later.

This is a long job.

I think we'll be here
all morning doing this,

which means I'm not gonna
get everything else done.

Stephanie: Eighties
"On va S'aimer."

Dick: While DJ Sasha continues
the search

for dance floor perfection...

Tim: Bit more to the left.

Bit more, bit more, bit more.
There.

Dick: Tim and Luke are still
on decoration duty.

Tim: Spot on.
Luke: Is that all right?

Do you want to go
and have a look?

Tim: Yeah.
Luke: See if I can adjust it

in any way?

Dick: They found some
old winery boards

they want to hang up.

Tim: No. It's not working.

Back down a whisker.

Whisker down.

That's--that's perfect.

[Drill whirring]

Lily: Have you got
the Armagnac down there?

Sasha: No. There's one
in the cove.

Dick: With only 5 hour to go
before the guests arrive,

it's all go in the kitchen.

Sasha: I'm just lining
these jelly molds,

and they will be actually used
as a seafood panna cotta,

and this is just the first tray.

I've got another
two trays to go.

Dick: And tonight's menu isn't
the only thing giving

Sasha food for thought.

Sasha: How have
I ended up DJing?

You tell me.

I would dearly love that
somebody else

would take it over now
because staying up

till 4:00 in the morning
is not my idea of fun

after being
in the kitchen all day.

Dick: Too late now, Sasha.

You're on the decks
in a matter of hours.

Let's hope the tables turn
once the beat drops.

Back at Chateau du Masgelier...

Fiona: Right.

Dick: Fiona has finished
checking her attic.

Fiona: All right.
That's looking good. Pleased.

Dick, voice-over:
That's half the job done.

Next she wants to assess
the roof from the outside.

When we've had issues
with ours over the years,

we've always got a roofer in.

Dick: It's a bit awkward.

A bit more.

A few more. That's it.

One thing's for sure,
I was never meant

to go on that roof.

Have you seen the size
of that hole? Ha ha ha!

Dick, voice-over: Some things
are just safer

in the capable hands
of professionals.

Dick: Brilliant job.
Roofer: Thank you.

Dick: Come down and be safe.

Dick, voice-over: Fiona's able
to do this job herself.

Fiona: At the far end,
there is a drainage cistern,

and what happens is that
all the leaves--

all the leaves here,
they accumulate,

and then the water gets
blocked,

and then water comes up
under the slates

and then just pours in
through the chateau,

and because this part is
the major part of the roofing,

you can imagine how many gallons
of water's

pouring in at a time.

Dick: It's a crucial task.

Water damage
from a blockage here

could easily run into thousands.

Fiona: I pop up probably
once every 10 days,

but I've only really got to do
this for about a month

just to keep a little eye on it.

Right.

Dick: With the gully clear,
Fiona's last job

is to create a mesh cover
to stop any more leaves

blocking the drain.

Fiona: Just mold and shape that.

It just stops those damn leaves
getting through.

Lovely. Perfect. Perfect fit.
Look at that.

Oh, the glamour of it all, huh?

I could be having lunch
at Covent Garden

with the girls.

Those days are gone.

Dick:
That's chateau life, Fiona,

but at least now,
those renovations inside

can finally begin.

As much as we love
the French lifestyle,

at our place
in the Pays de la Loire

we also think it's important
to keep up

with traditions from home.

Dorothy: Ooh!

Dick, voice-over: And a special
one is Guy Fawkes Night.

Dorothy: Un, deux, trois.

Dick: Bilingual!

Dick, voice-over: It's all
about making special memories

together as a family...

Angel: It looks like
she's going.

Dick, voice-over:
but for Mrs. S and me,

the lead-up to the bonfire
is just as big a deal.

It all starts with a trip
to the attic

in search of an outfit
for our Guy,

and Arthur's usually
only too keen to help.

Angel: Let's have
a little look.

Go on. After you, baby.

Arthur: No. After you!

Angel: Oh, you are such
a smoothie.

Hold my hand now.

Arthur: I love smoothies!

Dick: That's my boy.

Angel: A pair of Daddy's
non-matching socks.

Arthur: Hee hee hee!
Angel: Smelly!

No. They're not smelly.
They're actually

clean non-matching socks.

Right. We got socks. OK.
Go into the back room for me.

We could--hmm.

Arthur: They're smelly.

Angel: Quite exciting, isn't it?

In this room, Darling.
Follow Mummy.

Arthur: Or that room.

Angel: Ooh. What's over here?
What's over here?

Daddy definitely doesn't
wear these,

and they're all torn.

Look. Torn trousers of Daddy's.

These are good.
We're gonna stuff these, OK?

Yeah? You holding them for me.

Arthur, let's do a checklist.

Right. We got a shirt,
we got a collar,

we've got trousers,
we've got something

to make the head, smelly socks.

Arthur: Ha ha ha!

Dick, voice-over: Now to get
those bonfire

celebrations started.

Armed with our homemade
toffee apples

and a pile of hay,
it's off to the garden.

Dick: These are my clothes.
What are you doing

with my clothes?

Arthur: We're gonna use
them for him!

Dick: They're my best trousers.

Dorothy: No. They don't fit you.

Dick: Oh, don't they? OK.
I need helpers.

Hands up anybody who's
ever made a Guy before.

Dick, voice-over: Angel's
parent's Jenny and Steve

have joined us for the fun.

Dick: How long ago was
the last time you made one?

Jenny: 55 years ago.
Angel: Whoa!

Mum, when you were 5?

Dick: Right. Now what we
need to do is start

filling his body.

We take bits of straw like this,
and we put them in.

OK. What's this look
like, you two?

Dorothy: Scarecrow!
Dick: A scarecrow.

Arthur: His tummy's
as big as yours.

What did you have to eat?

Dick: How do we keep
the head on?

We've got a head string.

Hold the string in your hand.
Two hands.

Hold it tight.

Put your hand all the way down
inside there.

Angel: There we go.
Dick: Aha! We've got it!

Now look at this!
His head's going in now.

We got a string to
tie his head in.

Dick, voice-over: It's great
to see Arthur and Dorothy

so enthusiastic.

Dick: Oi!

Dick, voice-over:
Even if my wardrobe

is paying the price.

Dick: Those are really
good socks.

I hope they're two odd ones.

If I've got another pair
like this,

there'll be hell to pay.

Look at this!

Dick, voice-over:
With our Guy finished,

it's time to light the bonfire.

Dick: Ready?
Are we ready?

And up he goes!

Dick, voice-over: To top
the evening off,

nothing beats some
good, old-fashioned games...

Angel: Ha ha ha!

Dick, voice-over: like find
the Smartie in the Flour.

Dick: Yes! Smartie!

Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm.

Arthur: Ha ha ha!

Dick: Oh, I love you. Kiss me.

Dick, voice-over: And of course,
Bobbing for Apples.

Dick: Find me an apple, big boy.

No! Come on! Get yourself down!

Angel: Oh, no.
Dick: One.

Go on. What do you mean? No!
You cheated!

I saw your hands!

Dorothy's going in.
What's Dorothy doing?

Yes!
Angel: Yay!

Kids: Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!

Angel: Yay!
Give Daddy the towel.

Dick, voice-over: We may have
a fantastic new life in France,

but this is one
of the traditions

we'll never forget.

Dick: Do you want to? OK.

A few hours south of us
at Chateau de Bourneau...

JB: That was easy.
Erin: Oh, yeah.

I was expecting these doors
to be have been glued on.

Dick: Erin and JB are
about to rip up the floor

in what will be one
of the new suites

they're planning
in the south wing.

Erin: This room is
an important room

because it's probably our most
interesting feature room

on this corridor because
it has that lovely turret

and this sort of
double aspect,

so this room, I think,
second to the honeymoon suite,

will be our most
impressive suite hopefully.

Now this is gonna be...

Dick: They hope the old
seventies lino is hiding

something
with a bit more character.

Erin: Oh, look. It's that
horrible, hairy,

whatever under layer that is.

Oh! But that's...

I think we're in luck, JB. Look.

We've got the original
floorboards. See?

Oh, yeah. So it even goes
up to the window, as well.

That's nice.

Dick: There's just one place
left to check,

the turret where they hope
to put in a shower room.

Erin: Yeah. I think it's wood.
Ohh!

Dick: It's a full house.

Wooden floors all round.

Erin: Great.

Yay! Floor is up.

JB: Good. Yeah. It's great.

Erin: Oh, I'm really pleased
that there's

the original wood under here.

Dick: The floor will still need
plenty of elbow grease

to get rid
of the leftover adhesive,

but it's a great start.

Erin: You can definitely see
what this will be like

when it's finished.

I mean, obviously, it's
a little bit 1970s

nursing home themed
at the moment,

so not quite screaming
chateau chic just yet,

but it will be eventually,
won't it?

JB: A bit of imagination
and hard work, yeah.

Dick: I'll second that,
but as this is just

the first of the 5
eventual guest rooms

in the south wing,
Erin and JB still have

a massive task ahead of them.

Erin: It's gonna take
a lot of time

and probably a lot of money,

so that is always gonna be
a little bit of worry,

but it's so nice because
this is one big thing

which will get the chateau
sort of back

to its former glory.

Dick:
Back at Chateau du Masgelier,

Fiona also has her hands full,

decorating a bedroom
for her daughter,

who's coming to visit
in two months' time.

Fiona: So it's kind of feminine,
but it's not girly and pink.

It's hard, isn't it, when
you're trying to decorate

something for somebody else.

I've sent her photographs,
and she's

really, really happy
with the colors and the choice,

so, um, yeah, Mummy
will do all the work,

have it all lovely,
and then she can just come in,

put her coat down, bam.

Nothing changes no matter
how old children get.

Dick:
With the color scheme sorted,

Fiona needs to finish
prepping the room.

Fiona: What I'm trying to do
is do all the dirty jobs first

because there's no point
in me whitewashing

the whole room
and then doing it

because it's just gonna be
filthy again.

So get all the dirty debris
jobs done, go from there.

Dick: All jobs are bit
in a chateau.

She's right to do them
in a sensible order.

First up is tackling
a woodworm infestation

by the bedroom door.

Fiona: What I'm doing is
I'm putting a treatment

on the wooden beam.

So one hour, let it dry,

put another second coat on,
let that dry,

and then put the third coat on.

Dick: It's great Fiona's doing
a thorough job,

as, left untreated, woodworm
can seriously weaken timber.

Fiona: I'm really putting
it on nice and thick,

getting it into all those holes,
and it never returns.

You never get
another infestation.

Job done, so come back in
about an hour, hour and a half

and see how that goes.

Corner.

Dick: Fiona doesn't want dust
spoiling her decorating,

so is sealing off the bedroom
door from the outside

in the yet-to-be-renovated
hallway.

Fiona: So this bit here
is derelict,

so all the filth, all the dirt,
it runs through

right under the doors.

There's quite a big gap
under the door

and across the top.

Dick: So Fiona's come up
with a clever idea

to stop it coming in.

Fiona: And I'm just thinking
what way round

to do it actually.

Dick: Creating a dust excluder
with an old carpet off-cut.

Fiona: I don't really think
a few staple holes

is gonna damage the door.

That's good,
and there's a little of overlap,

so it shouldn't get through,

and I'm gonna put a little bit
at the top, as well,

just on the door.

I'm probably a bit mad
and a bit eccentric,

but I don't care.

It's gonna keep my rooms clean.

OK. There we go. Nice and tight.

That's what we want to see.
Job done. Simple.

Dick: All that's left is to
clear out the room,

and decorating
can finally begin.

With her daughter's visit
fast approaching,

there's no time to lose.

In the South of France
at Chateau du Puits es Pratx,

Tim and Sasha's party
is about to start.

Stephanie: 12 guests,
but one vegetarian.

- Yeah.
- This one.

Dick: The restaurant is
fully decorated,

and the stage has been set.

Sasha: Right. I got...
Dick: In the kitchen,

Sasha and Lily
are busy working away.

Sasha: Sometimes, not enough
room here, I'm afraid.

Dick: One of the first courses
is already on the go--

lobster, yum!

Sasha: I have to cook this
very delicately

but not all the way through.

Our French clients will notice
if I overcook it.

Dick: Tonight, it's down to Luke
to run the front of house.

Luke: Let's set the tables
into zones.

[Speaks French]

Great.

Dick: The first guests
are already starting to arrive,

which means the party can
officially begin.

Lily: So everyone's come
at the same time,

which is great.

Luke: No, it doesn't.

Lily: But it's OK.
We're in control.

Dick: In Lily and Sasha's
well-prepared kitchen,

they can start sending out
dishes straightaway.

Grab the last
panna cotta plates.

Dick: And they're going
down a treat.

Next up is a champagne sorbet,

but for Luke, that's
no cause for celebration.

Luke: I think we're going
too fast

because they're gonna be
finished at, like--

they're gonna be finished
at, like, half 10:00

if we go on at this pace

and then have to sit around
for an hour and a half, yeah.

We need to slow it down.

Server: We're going to go
a little bit slower because--

Lily: We're ready.
Server: Yeah. I know

you're ready,
but we want to time...

Lily: Yeah, of course.

Sasha: Everybody's half full,
and we're waiting,

twiddling our thumbs,

waiting to serve
the main course.

Lily: We're not twiddling
our thumbs.

Some of us are doing
all the washing up.

Sasha: Did you hear that?
Ha ha ha!

Dick: With time to fill,

it's left to Tim
and his jazz band

to entertain the guests,

and it seems to be hitting
the right notes.

Luke: Are you finished?
Man: Terrific.

Luke: Yeah? Was everything
all right for you?

Man: It was absolutely glorious.
Thanks, mate.

Dick: With the clock edging
ever closer to midnight,

DJ Sasha is still on edge.

Sasha: I'm on the decks tonight.

Mind you, Lily has just
told me she's

going to come and help me.

Really?

Lily: Oh, I think she loves it.

She loves DJing.

She says she hates it
and wants to get

someone else to do it,
but she loves it.

Dick: Well, we'll soon find out.

The stroke of midnight
is fast approaching.

Luke: All you need to do
is hit play

and then volume here.

Dick: Sounds simple enough,

and with less
than two minutes to go,

it's time for Sasha to take
to the decks.

Luke: Start now?
Sasha: Yes. Start it now.

Luke: Big Ben?
Sasha: No, no.

That one there.

Dick: But there's a problem
with the sound system.

Luke: It's not playing yet.

Sasha: Ohh.

That's why I needed it tested.

Can't hear it.

Luke: Speakers are plugged in,
aren't they?

Sasha: Jeez.

It's not working.

Oh, guys. This is ridiculous.

Dick: Oh, dear. Too late!

The clock just struck midnight,

and the guests have started
their own celebrations.

Tim: It's been working
fine tonight.

Sasha: Well, I'm sorry.
You should have

tested it earlier.

Tim: Don't blame us.

Sasha: Of course
I'm blaming you.

Bloody disaster.

Go to "Auld Lang Syne."

Forget about the other ones.

Dick: And with the sound system
finally fired up,

the party can really get going.

It sounds like the guests
really enjoyed themselves.

Woman: The New Year's party
was really good,

the food and the music.

I enjoy it a lot.

Man: We know the DJ.
She's OK.

Different man: We enjoyed
the evening very much.

Sasha: To a really
successful evening.

Thank you so much.

What a brilliant start to 2019.

Whoo-hoo!

Tim: Even though it was
10 minutes late.

Sasha: That's your fault.

Dick: Well done, guys.

Here's a to
a successful year ahead.

At Chateau du Masgelier,

the winter temperatures
have plunged below zero,

so Fiona's trying to heat
the bedroom

she's renovating
for her daughter Rochelle,

who's due in a month.

Fiona: Can't be defeated
just because it's wintertime.

Still got to work.

Dick: She's managed to hang
some wallpaper,

but the freezing weather
is hampering her progress.

Fiona: It's just
started snowing

I can see out of the window,
so, yes, very, very, very cold.

The wallpaper isn't
actually drying.

Yesterday, it was really,
really, really bubbling,

so I was having a panic attack.

Thought I was gonna lose
the paper.

It's a bit of a setback.

I'm gonna have to wait
until the room

really, really warms up,

and then I can get some more
wallpaper onto the wall.

Dick: With work on hold
for a few hours at least,

Fiona's invited friend Jo over
to help out

with another little task.

Jo: Hello.
Fiona: Hello, darling. Come in.

Jo: Bread delivery.
Fiona: You OK?

Jo: Yeah, I'm good.
How are you?

Fiona: Yeah. Not too bad.

I've been getting on
with the room upstairs.

- Before we have a cup of tea...
- Yeah.

my carpet arrived
for the room.

- Yeah?
- Do you want to help me

get it up the stairs because--

Jo: So that's why you
invited me for a cup of tea.

I get it. Rent-a-muscle.

Fiona: Yeah.
You know me so well.

Jo: Does it weigh a ton?

Fiona: Yeah. So it's gonna be
a Laurel and Hardy.

You take that end.

- Got it?
- Yeah.

Dick: Even a one-woman
DIY machine like Fiona

needs an extra pair of hands
now and again.

Fiona: Ready?
Jo: Yeah.

Fiona: Go.

Jo: How you doing?

Fiona: OK. I'm fine.

Dick: Especially when
negotiating 4 flights of stairs.

Fiona: OK.
Jo: Yep.

Fiona: We can skip the gym
today, can't we, Jo?

Jo: Ha ha! Definitely.

Fiona: We're going
to the chiropractor instead.

Jo: Oh, I'm bushed.

Dick: Well done, ladies,

although Fiona's not done
with you yet, Jo.

Fiona: I need to take
this down.

This was in Rochelle's bedroom
in the family home...

Jo: Yeah.
Fiona: growing up,

and being sentimental,
I thought,

"I'll put that up for her.

You know, she'll be in bed.
She see her light."

"I don't like that.
It's too French. It's chintz."

OK, Jo. If you could tell me
if lights go out, yeah?

Jo: Yeah. Will do.

Yep.

Dick: Before undertaking
any electrical work,

it's necessary to switch
the electricity off

at the mains.

Fiona: Right.

Jo: Is this all made of glass?

Fiona: Yeah. Porcelain.

So it's on the hook.
I'm gonna take it off.

You just have to support it,

and then I'll disconnect it
from the electrics.

Jo: Might have dusted it first.

There's cobwebs on it.

Fiona: Hold tight.
No. Don't push it.

Jo: I'm not. I'm just
trying to support,

but you're swinging it away.

Fiona: Don't worry.
I'll put it. I've got it.

I've got it. I'm just gonna
loosen it slightly.

Give me a minute. It's fine.

Are we having a domestic, Jo?

Jo: Yeah. Ha ha ha!

There will be one if I smash
your favorite family heirloom.

Fiona: That's it. Hey!

Jo: We've gone down
to brute force.

Fiona: All right. Hold it tight.

Dick: That's a relief,

and it's one more
tricky job off Fiona's list.

Fiona: You know, I think
it was touch and go there.

I put that chandelier up
to stay up for life, I think,

ut it was just handy to have
someone to hold it

just in case it fell.

Cup of tea?

Jo: Anything to earn
a cup of tea.

Dick: It's often the little jobs
that can prove most testing,

especially if you're doing
it all by yourself.

Fiona: Cheers.
Jo: To new carpet.

Fiona: Cheers with a cup of tea.

Jo: So do you think Rochelle's
gonna appreciate

all of the hard work?

Fiona: I don't think she
kind of realizes

what's been involved,

but the room was
completely derelict, Jo.

It was terrible.

As long as nothing goes wrong,

I think that the room
will be ready just in time.

There's a lot to do,

but it's full steam ahead now.

Dick: Good luck, Fiona.

Let's hope this weather lifts

and you can get on
with that room very soon.

Back at Chateau de Bourneau,

renovations have also
been put on hold.

Today, chateau owners
Erin and JB

are putting on their
first ever paid event.

Erin: We'd been contacted
by a local company,

French company, to host
their party.

JB: Oh, Must be the client.

Erin: Oh. Already?

Oh, dear. Better put some
actual shoes on,

not my puffy slippers.

JB: There's a bit of stress,
bit of fear,

but I think it's excitement,
most of it.

Erin: Bonjour. Tres bien.

JB: There's more pressure
on this occasion

because they are a real client,
actual client.

Erin: It's important to us,
I think, as the hosts,

but we'll say as a business
that we make this work,

so pressure's on. Ha ha!

[JB speaking French]

Dick: They're hosting 24 people
for a work meeting in the salon,

followed by a 4-course dinner.

To make the best
possible impression,

Erin and JB have hired
caterers to do

the food for them.

Erin: These are looking great.

That's what's so nice
living so close to the sea.

You can get all this
fresh produce so easily.

It's lovely.

[Meow]

Dick: With their guests all here
and the meeting underway,

it leaves them
in a very unusual position.

JB: Stressful to do nothing.

Erin: I know.

I like being busy.
This feels very sort of weird,

that kind of calm
before the storm, doesn't it?

JB: There's not much
we have to do.

They will have a meeting.
That's it.

Erin: Yeah.

JB: Can you do the 3 plates?

Erin: 3 plates? Don't think my
arm is long enough to do that.

JB: Can you do that?

Dick: With time to kill,
JB decides to give

Erin a crash course in waiting,

something he perfected
while at university.

JB: Here. Sort of level.

Erin: Oh, yeah. OK.
JB: OK. Balanced.

Erin: Yeah, yeah.
JB: That one.

- Cool?
- OK.

I can do this.

Dick: You'll have a chance
to test those new skills

soon, Erin.

With the meeting over,
the guests are making their way

to the dining room,

and it's suddenly
all go in the kitchen.

First up are oysters
in sumac butter

cooked on coals.

Erin: Wow. Looking great.

Dick: This is a speciality
of the caterer's

and in interesting twist
on a French classic.

Clearly Erin and JB
are keen to make an impression,

and it seems like hiring
in caterers is paying off.

JB: So far, they are
very, very pleased with us

and really pleased
and enjoying the food.

Hot oyster went on
very, very well.

Erin: Which is big praise
from French clients.

JB: Yeah.

Dick: One course down
and 3 to go.

Time for Erin go show off
her brand-new waiting skills.

Yeah, I think so.

I think it's all right.

It's the best I've
ever done this.

Don't look quite as secure,
these ones--ha!

Oh, it's a very small gap
to squeeze through, as well,

so I don't want to dump
this down someone.

[Indistinct chatter]

Dick: With Erin just trying
to keep everything on the plate,

it's left to JB to pick up
the slack.

Erin: I need some
waitressing practice, I think.

Ha ha ha! But it's all right.

I didn't spill it down me
or anyone else,

which obviously wouldn't do,
so I think that was a win.

Dick: I wouldn't worry, Erin.

None of the guests
would ever know,

and more importantly,
it's clear everyone

has had a good time.

JB: He was quite pleased,
so success, I think.

Erin: Yeah.

There was a lot riding
on it because

it's our first paid event,

and of course,
we'd never done this before,

but they absolutely loved it.

Dick: A successful first event
is a big step

for any new chateau owner,

and Erin and JB
have done brilliantly.

Enjoy it, you two,
because tomorrow,

it's back to renovations.

Next time...

Sasha: Oh, my God.
Oh, my God! Ohh!

Dick: Tim and Sasha have plans
for a new spa...

Tim: I'm just hoping the crane
doesn't topple over.

We'll see.

Dick: and tensions
bubble to the surface.

Sasha: Everything is in chaos.

Fiona: It's 4 floors high.
It had to be the top floor

with furniture going up.

Dick: Fiona races to finish
her daughter's bedroom...

Fiona: I'll take you into
your room Roch.

Dick: and as Erin and JB
work on a new event space,

a missing bit of kit means
a race against time.

Erin: We only have 30 minutes
to get this tool

before the concrete sets,
so a little bit of pressure.