Escape to the Chateau DIY (2018–2021): Season 2, Episode 7 - Episode #2.7 - full transcript

I'm Dick Strawbridge,

and long with my wife Angel
and our two children...

Grape!

Dick, voice-over: we've lived
in this magnificent chateau

in France for the last
4 years.

Angel: 1, 2, 3!
Dick: Whoo! Look at that.

Dick, voice-over: We are
renovating it as our home...

All right.
so canapes.

Dick, voice-over:
and our business.

2, 3, up.

And it seems we're not
the only Brits



who followed their dream
and have bought

a chateau to call home.

Woman: Absolutely stunning.
It's beautiful.

Dick, voice-over:
So Angel and I are back guiding

a new batch
of adventurous owners...

Angel: I know it's going
to look lovely.

That's bordering on ridiculous.

Dick, voice-over: and catching
up with some old friends...

Hey!

Dick, voice-over: as they battle
to rescue their homes.

Stick it in the hole,
and let's just see

how far we can go.

Dick, voice-over: and try to
make them pay their way.

Well, this has all gone wrong
because 5 was originally there.



Pardon. Ha ha!

Dick, voice-over:
And we'll reveal more

about our own
chateau experience.

Angel: It's a balance,
and finding that balance

is really, really hard.

Dick: There'll be highs...

- That's it, that's it!
- Yes.

Dick: and lows...

Oh, these stairs will be
the death of me, I think.

Dick: but however hard
the going gets,

for these plucky Brits,
nothing beats life

in their very own castle.

[Cheering]

Today, Angel and I host
a very wacky wedding...

- Is it a wig?
- No. It's mine. Ha ha ha!

Dick: as the pressure is on
to impress special friends.

Angel: Right.
Let's see where you are.

Oh, there you are.
You're table 3.

You're on this table,
on our table.

Dick: New chateau owners call
in the troops...

Tim: What we'd like to see
by lunchtime,

ceilings and walls all
with a coat of paint on.

Man: OK.

Dick: As they struggle to get
their B&B up and running.

Yeah. The paneling's come off,
and the wall has

kind of disintegrated behind it.

Dick: A bike-mad couple search
for their dream chateau.

I feel like crying.
Beautiful.

Absolutely beautiful.

Woman: I've never seen
him like this.

I can't talk.

Dick: And the DIY fanatic
faces a race

against time to prepare
for a big event.

At the moment,
I'm looking at it,

and I know it does
look like a mess.

It looks like a total mess.

Dick: Across France,
there are hundreds

of spectacular chateaus
for sale,

and most of them are a lot
cheaper than you think.

This is the 18th century
14-bedroom Chateau de la Ruche,

which was snapped up
for £380,000

by Lincolnshire couple
Tim and Rebecca.

I don't think I ever thought
I'd live in a chateau.

I don't think I ever thought
that that would be

something that would
happen to me.

We just couldn't have anything
like this in the UK at all.

- It's impossible.
- It's impossible

unless you have millions
of pounds, and we just--

we don't have millions
of pounds, especially now.

Dick: Located in
the Pays de la Loire region

of western France,

the couple moved here
with their two children

9 months ago and hoped to turn
it into a B&B

by the end of the summer.

Having already spent 3/4
of their £90,000 budget,

they need to start
getting guests in fast.

Tim: We have a very strong need
to get paying customers in

because the budget
is running out.

Otherwise, we're going to
have to beg, steal, and borrow

to be able to survive
the winter.

Dick: They recently had their
new septic tank put in

and got all
the plumbing working.

Now, the chateau needs to be
completely redecorated,

and it's all in a bit
of a state,

especially the entrance hall
and reception rooms.

With their first guests due
in just 9 weeks' time,

they have their work cut out.

Tim: So short-term plan
is trying to get

the communal areas ready,
so that's the entrance hall,

the stairs that we've got here,

the sitting room,
and the upstairs corridors.

Dick: Fortunately, they do have
one of their en suite guestrooms

nearly ready.

Tim: It's very presentable.
We need to furnish it.

We need to get it kind of
looking at its best,

but it's nearly there.

It's all about being
completely ready to be able

to get the house generating
some income for us really.

Dick:
To help speed things along,

Tim has roped in some free labor
in the form of his mate Dale.

Dale: As Tim and I say,
two morons is better than one.

Dick: That bodes well sort of.

Tim: Out the way.

Dick: They've just cut some wood
to create a window sill

on the stairwell.

Dale: How good are your
measurements, Timmy?

Tim: Amazing.

Dale: Going to fit?
Tim: Of course.

- Bang on.
- Like a dream.

Yeah.

It's fitting much better
than I hoped it would.

Given my rudimentary
carpentry skills.

Dick: Good work, chaps.

Tim's plan is to cover
the stonework

underneath the window
with plasterboard,

but that first means filling
the wonky 18th century

chateau walls,
which is no easy job.

This is a matte stuff that's
used for bonding plasterboard

onto walls with one dab,

but it's also good
for filling holes.

We've used it here to level
the window sill out,

and I'm just using it
to fill some of these holes

so we got a bit more
of a better surface

to stick the plasterboard
to when we come to do that.

Dick: Upstairs, Rebecca's
turning her hand

to bed upholstering,

another attempt to keep
the costs down.

I bought the bed for 39 Euros,

and it was covered
in pink velvet

that was really, really
grubby and disgusting.

And I've never upholstered
a bed before.

39 Euros wasn't much money to
lose if I messed it all up,

so I just covered it with some
of this just simple linen fabric

and then add some--
and you glue this on

to hide all the staples
and everything.

If you were to buy
a bed like this,

sort of looking online
for new ones,

they're sort of
thousands of pounds.

So it's a good way
to save money.

It just takes a bit of time,
but it's quite satisfying.

Dick: My Angel
would be impressed.

After gluing and trimming down
the fabric, it's job done.

Rebecca: Ta-da. Ha ha.

Good sense of achievement.

I think for a first attempt it's
pretty good.

I'm happy.
Really pleased with it.

Dick: This will certainly be
a great addition to the room,

but with so much else to do,

they can't afford to rest
on their laurels.

In the last 12 months,
almost 1 in the 3 properties

bought by foreign buyers
in France have been from the UK.

Hoping to join the growing band
of expat chateau owners

are bike-mad Essex couple
Martin and Kim.

Martin: It started
about 3 years ago.

We was at home,
and basically Kim dropped

something in the kitchen,
and she says,

"I feel I've got arthritis
coming in my hands."

And it was a case of the clock
started ticking in me head,

and I though realistically, we
got to move somewhere warmer.

Martin, an electrician,
and housewife Kim

plan to sell their home
in Essex,

giving them a budget of £500,000
to buy a chateau

that has the potential
to pay for itself.

Martin: The idea is obviously to
buy a chateau or a manor house

that we can actually
have a business with.

Kim: Really, we want
some gites at the side

so that we can rent those out.

You know, there's so much ideas
that we've got,

but until we see the property,
that's when we can say,

"Yeah, that is the one."

Dick: They may not know exactly
what they're looking for,

but there are some things
they can't live without.

Kim: It's got to be
the man cave, isn't it, really.

He won't look at anything else.

He'll look
at the outer buildings,

what he can do.

Then he'll look at the house,

but for me, it's going to be
the kitchen.

I've got to have a nice kitchen.

Dick:
And what about those bikes?

Kim: How many bikes
have you got, Martin?

Not enough.
5. I got 5 bikes.

Kim: 3. You've got 3
in the garage already,

and you're not going to bring
them to France.

She's entitled to her opinion.

Dick: Martin and Kim have
lined up 5 chateaus to see.

The first one is in
the Nouvelle-Aquitaine region

of western France, where they're
meeting estate agent Janice.

Janice: Hi. Hello.

- Good to meet you.
- How are you?

- Welcome.
- Thank you very much.

Dick: She'll be taking them
around the 19th century

Chateau la Borderie.

It has 8 bedrooms
and plenty of out buildings,

perfect to create gites and for
Martin to have his man cave.

It's in budget at a very
reasonable £420,000,

and it looks in good condition.

- Stunning.
- So this is the front.

You've got two beautiful
turrets here.

Martin: Stunning.
I feel like crying.

- Oh, wow.
- Beautiful.

Absolutely beautiful.

Kim: I've never seen
him like this.

I can't talk.

Kim: Ha ha ha!

Dick: Blimey.
That's some first impression.

It's the first time the chateau
has been on the market

for almost a century
as it's been home

to generations
of the same family.

Janice: So here, we've got
the main living area.

Martin: It's beautiful,
absolutely beautiful.

As you can see,
it's a great room in summer,

but you can also imagine
cozy winters here,

sitting by the fire, chatting,
enjoying the wonders of France.

I can't talk.

He loves it.
He absolutely loves it.

Um...I don't know yet.

Stunning, babe, stunning.

Janice: It's beautiful.

Dick: Maybe the kitchen
will whet Kim's appetite.

Janice: As you can see,
it's fully fitted,

all your amenities.

Obviously at some point,
you may want to update it,

but currently,
it's functioning.

Martin: Got a lot of space here.

You can set up one big,
long kitchen here

with the table and chairs
in here,

doors open in the summer.

- Yeah.
- Very nice.

Dick: Martin can certainly
see the potential,

but I'm not sure if
Kim's convinced yet.

Here's hoping the rest
of the chateau

will be more to her taste.

I'm Dick Strawbridge,

and along with my wife Angel,
we've been renovating

our French chateau
into a home and business

for the last 4 years.

To keep ourselves,
we rely on hosting

big events like weddings.

[Cheering]

Organizing, planning,
and preparing

for the bride and groom's
big day takes a lot of work.

All right.
So canapes.

Often around the clock to ensure
everything is just right.

Angel: Everything just got
to be perfect, you know.

Everything you do, your
reputation is on the line.

Dick: So far, we've managed to
host 24 weddings

without any hitches.

Dick: You may kiss your bride...

[Cheering]

Dick, voice-over: but next up,
we have an extra special one

because Angel's dearest friends
John and Miguel

are getting married
here tomorrow.

I've had John and Miguel's
wedding present here for a year.

Ha ha! This was
a find, you know.

You do not find monogrammed
bed linen very, very often.

It was like the angels
had sent it down to me,

and these guys I've known
for a lot of years.

Many, many years ago,
I got this phone call.

Said, "I'm going to open a shop
up in Brick Lane.

Do you want to be part of it?"

I was Like,
"God, yeah, definitely."

I wanted to be in that game.

These are the guys that kind of
really introduced me

to sort of like circus.

It's just been
totally inspirational.

Dick: We're expecting
nearly 80 guests tomorrow,

who all need to be watered
and fed

at the wedding banquet
in the orangery.

On top of that, John, Miguel,
and the others

are staying
for the whole weekend,

So we've had to ensure
all the guestrooms are

in pristine condition.

With everything in hand,
all we need now

is our special guests.

Scooby-Doo is here. Ha ha ha!

- Good to see you.
- All right.

- Yeah. Yeah.
- Good to see you.

Dick, voice-over: It's the first
time Angel and I have ever

hosted such a monumental moment
in any of our friends' lives.

- Cheers.
- Cheers.

Dick: You're so welcome.

Dick, voice-over:
All we can hope for now is

for it to all go well
on the big day...

but we're not the only ones
having to tackle

a wedding this year.

180 miles away in the Limousin,
Fiona Jones is battling

to prepare
for her first wedding.

She lives in the stunning
12th century 13-bedroom

Chateau du Masgelier
and has been singlehandedly

renovating it
for the past 6 years.

I'm a woman of many talents. Ha!

I can plaster,
and I know a lot

about building and all
of those sort of things,

and then there's also all
of the design aspect, as well.

That's all part of it.
That's why I came to France

and I bought the castle,
and I do enjoy it,

and I'd get so bored just
sitting there doing nothing.

It would kill me.

Dick: Located in the center
of France,

she's hoping to open her chateau
as a high-end B&B

and wedding venue
in 18 months' time.

That means a complete
restoration

of the castle's first floor.

So far, she's completed
the hallway,

but all that's on hold as she's
been asked to host

her first-ever wedding
in the chateau's grounds

in 14 weeks' time, a booking she
can't afford to turn down.

Fiona: I did want to start
creating all of the bedrooms,

but because of the wedding
now coming up,

priorities have changed,
so work's going to now

progress towards the wedding.

Dick: The couple want a marquee
on the south side

of the chateau,
but its aging facade

hasn't been touched in decades,
and it needs refreshing.

So what my problem is
going to be is falling

through the window. This way.

Dick: Fiona has to make sure
everything is shipshape in time

for those all-important
wedding photos.

Fiona: So there's one of these
that's come off,

and that can go back on.

That'll keep that safe.

Dick: So today, she's replacing
the wood on the windows,

but with 34 to restore,
it could take some time.

Fiona: The windows haven't
actually been touched

for about 30 years,
and they've been painted

different colors.

I just want to unify everything.

Let's see if that's the same.

Wonder if it's any longer.

There are just so many windows
and some that need putty,

and all of the glass needs
replacing, as well.

Dick: It's a lot of work,

especially if she's doing it
all by herself.

Fiona: Oops!

At the moment, I'm looking
at it,

and I know it does look
like a mess.

It looks like a total mess.

Dick: At Chateau de la Ruche,
Tim and Rebecca are preparing

for their first B&B guests, who
are due in three months' time.

To finish the en suite bathroom,

they've come up with
an imaginative way

to save cash.

They've bought an old dresser
from a local brocante

to use as a sink unit.

Tim: I quite enjoy kind of
bringing things back to life

and getting them to work again,
and I'm not a massive fan

of modern fittings
everywhere at all,

so I'm more than happy today.

- Which is good.
- Heh heh.

Dick:
A couple after my own heart.

Tim: Ta-da.
Rebecca: Whoo-hoo.

Tim: That should now fit
the sink in.

Rebecca: OK. Should we try?

Dick: Buying this unit
ready-done could cost

anything up to £900,
whereas the dresser

they picked up cost
less than £90.

Rebecca: Very pleased with it.

I'm looking forward seeing it
with the tiles in

so that it looks a bit neater,
but, yeah,

I think it looks really cool.

Dick: But it turns out, there is
something they splashed out on.

Rebecca: I'm certainly worried
he's going to cut it wrong

and waste one of my very
expensive tiles

because I'm not sure Tim knows
how expensive they were.

I think they were about £25
a tile.

So quite expensive.
I didn't need

that many of them,
so I thought it was OK.

Yeah. So just don't break them.

Dick: No pressure, Tim,
no pressure.

Phew! Now let's hope it fits.

Tim: Right there, we have one
piece of tile that should--

kind of just lift the...

Rebecca: So is that going to be
enough to stop the water

going underneath,
a bead of silicon?

It looks like kind
of a big hole to me.

The silicon will be
absolutely fine.

You're looking at your sink
like that,

you've probably got
more issues than...

Rebecca: More time
on your hands than you need.

What do you think?

- Good.
- Good?

Dick: It may only be a sink,
but it's another step forward

towards Tim and Rebecca
opening their B&B

and making some
much-needed cash.

- Does that work?
- Yeah. I think so.

Cool.

Dick: In the Nouvelle-Aquitaine
region, Martin and Kim have

a budget of £500,000
to buy their dream chateau.

Janice: Coming through
to my favorite room,

which is the study.

Dick: The first one they're
looking at

is Chateau la Borderie,

which is on the market
for £420,000.

Martin: You know, I could have
the old '52 in the corner.

Kim: No Harley-Davidsons.

No bikes in the house.

I've got a lovely 1952 Sunbeam,
which would go beautiful

in this room if it was going to
be used as a study,

but I don't think
we'd use it as study.

- What would you use it then?
- I don't know, Kim.

Dick: Bike-obsessed Martin is
certainly seeing lots

of potential,
but so far, Kim doesn't seem

sold on this place.

Janice: Each of these turrets--
go in--has a turret bathroom.

Kim: It's an actual toilet.
Ha ha ha!

- It's different.
- It's very different.

It's different.

Janice: Here you've got one
of the upstairs bedrooms.

Again, as you can see,
beautiful light room.

Martin: It's got all them
usual features, innit?

- Yeah.
- Same as downstairs.

- You like it, don't you?
- This is somewhere

where I think we could actually
live actually, seriously.

It's just--I mean,
I know the décor

isn't what we would have,
but it's nothing major.

It's really beautiful,
really like it, really like it.

I'm going to start crying again.

Janice: Oh, wow!

Dick: I'm not sure Kim can cope
with any more.

It's been great meeting you.
Thank you.

Thank you very much.

Dick: This chateau is ready
to move into

and with some TLC, could be
a cracking investment.

Martin: I really liked it.
I really did like it.

It's got lots of potential.

I could actually see us
living there.

No. No way. No way.
I didn't like it at all.

I didn't like the feeling.

- It didn't work for you?
- It didn't work for me at all.

- No.
- I mean, we did agree

that both got to like
the same property.

- Yeah.
- So therefore, that one

now is a no-go.

Yeah. Yeah.

Dick: Well, that rules
that one out.

So it's off to the next chateau
that lies 200 miles

further south close
to the Spanish border,

the 15th century
Chateau D'Espalungue.

It has 8 bedrooms,
several out buildings,

a swimming pool,
and it's already run as a B&B.

At around £330,000,
it's well within their budget

and could prove to be
an instant money-earner.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- Bonjour, monsieur.
- Welcome to Dognen.

- So this is it?
- So this is it.

Kim: Amazing.
Martin: this is...

Agent: Pretty fantastic.

Martin: See, coming in,
I have to be careful

on gravel.

This isn't very
motorcycle-friendly,

but this is no big deal.

Agent: And in fact, it's good to
be motorcycle-friendly because

there's quite a market
for motorcyclists

in chambres d'hotes.

- Oh, is there?
- Oh, really?

Particularly if you got
somewhere they can

store the bikes.

That would be important for us.

That would definitely be
important for us.

Right. You got the barns here,

so there's plenty of space
for storing bikes securely.

Excellent.

Dick: Estate agent Charlie seems
to have ticked one box already

for Martin as there's space
for storing his

and any guests' bikes.

Charlie: Right. This is
the bigger of the two barns,

which would make...

Martin: Oh, wow.
Kim: Oh, my God.

Charlie: at least one enormous
gite if not two quite--

Martin: This is a man cave.
Charlie: Isn't it?

Look at the height.

Martin: Yeah. Fantastic.

Charlie: And you got
the same height again above.

If you were to
divide it vertically,

you could have two
100-square-meter gites

just in this one barn.

So that's 2 3-, 4-bedroom houses
effectively.

Kim: It's crying out for gites.

OK. So this is not a man cave?

It certainly isn't.
It's gites first.

It makes sense to be
a gite, yeah.

Dick: Looks like you may be
losing this battle, Martin.

At Chateau du Masgelier, owner
Fiona Jones is now

just two weeks away from holding
her first ever wedding reception

on the south side of her castle.

To ensure there's
a perfect backdrop,

she spent the last 5 weeks
painstakingly restoring each

of the 34 windows and frames.

Fiona: Yeah. This is the last
window to be restored.

Don't want any more glass to
fall out unnecessarily.

Dick: Although it would appear
she's left

the worst one till last.

Fiona: I'm trying not to
actually damage

the window more than I have to.

Oh, God.

[Gasps]

I'll try and lever it up
without--

gently as possible.

Oh, lever out,
and the glass is literally--

if you look here, the glass is
literally teetering

with no putty,
so they could just drop out.

I have to be very careful
with them.

They haven't been treated
or painted for 30, 40 years.

So they're just about
hanging on in there.

Very careful.

That's it.
Slowly, slowly catch a monkey.

There you go.

Dick: Easy, does it, Fiona.

Fiona: Right.
Let's get him downstairs.

Dick: If Fiona can't manage to
rescue the frames,

she's going to have to find
a way to replace them,

and with only two weeks to go
before the wedding,

I don't fancy her chances.

Fiona: What I'm going to do is
I'm going to take out

the remaining putty that's
holding on by a thread

very carefully,
try and save the glass.

Then everything is
going to be stripped back,

use a sander,
and then I've got

a new sheet of glass
to go in here.

Dick: First task is remove
the old putty

without breaking any more glass.

Fiona: OK. So I'm just going to
use a really small chisel.

Careful. This old, thin
original glass.

What I don't want to do is just
go in there

with a big hammer
and chisel everything out

because the glass will break.

I do it little by little,
and then I should get out all

of the old bits
of the old putty.

There we go.

It's literally been hanging
on in there by a thread.

OK.

Dick: That's one down,
only one more to go.

If this glass breaks,
there's going to be more Euros

in my swear jar
with a few sacre bleus.

You know what?

I think someone's actually glued
one side in.

Ohh! Why?

Beasty doesn't want to come out.

[Crack]

Cracking it now. That's it.

OK. That's it.

Dick: So close, yet so far.

Should have done that in
the first place, shouldn't I?

Half an hour later.

I'm just going to go
in the corner,

say a few words,
and fill up that swear jar.

Dick: Preparing for any chateau
wedding is a big responsibility,

and today at our place,
it doesn't get

more important than this.

We're hosting the wedding

of Angela's dearest friends

John and Miguel,
so everything needs to be

extra, extra perfect,

but it should be fun
as it's vintage circus-themed.

- Whoo.
- Incredible as always.

Honestly, the first time in my
life I am so underdressed.

Hiya. Ha ha!

Old friends are here,
and it's lovely.

Is this your hair,
or is it a wig?

No. It's mine. Ha ha!

Dick: Having showed everyone is
present and correct,

it's time to get
the show on the road.

[Drumroll]

Without further ado,
groom and groom,

John and Michael, come forth.

[Cheering]

I will now ask for the rings.

Dick, voice-over: John and
Miguel are very special friends,

so to be able to offer our home
for their wedding day

is magical and a privilege.

Man: Congratulations,
John and Michael.

I now pronounce you
husband and husband.

Grooms, kiss.

Yeah.

[Cheering]

Dick: Well, that went perfectly.

I couldn't be more proud,
but the pressure is on

for our team to ensure
the reception

goes like clockwork.

We've transformed our orangery
into a circus-themed party room,

and we've joined everyone
for the celebration,

but for us, there's
always things to do.

Angel: Hello, darling.
Where were you?

Let's have a little look.
You're table one. Lovely.

Right. Let's see where you are.

Oh, there you are.
You're table 3.

You're on this table,
on our table.

Dick: It's tradition in this
part of France

when the grooms arrive we stand
up with our serviettes,

we wave them above our head,
and we go "Yahoo."

[Cheering]

It's a fairytale setting.
Got two fairies here.

Well, actually two queens.

So, yeah, it's fantastic.

We couldn't ask
for anything more.

We're really grateful.

Angel: The energy
in the orangery right now

is like it's popping.

John and Miguel, I can see how
relaxed they are,

and now I'm just--you know,
that just makes me happy.

This is what this place
was meant to do.

- Hi, guys.
- Hello.

Dick: Further east
at Chateau de la Ruche,

Tim and Rebecca have invited
more of their friends over

to help get their B&B
up and running in time.

Man: First impressions are
it's really nice, really big,

and we think
they're crazy to buy it.

Scares the living daylights
out of me,

but they're the couple
to take it on definitely.

Dick: The en suite bathroom is
now ready thanks

to some last-minute touches
to the sink,

but with the entrance,
stairwell, and living room to do

before their
first guests arrive,

the boys need to get
stuck in and fast.

Tim: What we'd like to see
by lunchtime,

ceilings and walls all
with a coat of paint on.

Man: OK.

Different man:
Yeah. The painting skills that

this team of workman have got
is second to none.

It's absolutely second to none.

You know, we are going to turn
that hallway into something.

We're going to transform it
in a day.

It's going to be incredible.

Come on.
Let's get it right.

Come on in. Come on in.
Come on in.

Rebecca: The fact that they're
willing to drive all this way

and be away from their wives
and children,

although that bit might be
a bit of a blessing for them,

but I think the fact that
they're willing to give up

their time when they're
such busy people, as well,

is pretty amazing
for us definitely.

Yeah.

Man: Tim said that
we would come over.

He'd bring the wine,
we'd bring the beer,

and maybe doing a little bit
of work on the shutters.

Supposed to be outside
in the sun where it's nice,

and here we are inside
without the sunshine on my back.

Dick: While some friends are
painting the hallway,

old pal Mick has been tasked
with a job in the living room

as the wooden panels
around the walls need replacing.

Mick: So all the original
panel work had rotted out.

So Tim had got some panels,
which were quite similar,

so we're just trying to trick
the eye and get away

with using something that
isn't the same at all really,

but I think we'll get there.

We'll put about two tons
of radiator in front of it.

That'll--that will hide it.

Tim is under some illusion that
I was actually a carpenter,

which of course I'm not but
anyway we'll give it a blast.

Dick: Well done.
Give it a go.

With a chateau full of helpers,
Tim and Rebecca plan to utilize

every minute of their time here.

Tim: A lot of jobs can get done
just with time and hard graft,

and they've declared themselves
the DIY SOS Team coming over,

so we have high expectations
about their abilities.

Yeah.

Oh.

Dick: Down in the south of
France in the Occitanie region,

chateau shoppers Martin and Kim
are looking at the 8-bedroom

Chateau D'Espalungue, which is
on the market for £330,000.

Having already seen
the possibility

of creating gites from
the surrounding out buildings,

they're hoping the inside
of the chateau has

just as much potential.

Charlie:
I'll let you lead the way.

This is the original doorway
as you can see,

and we go in, and there...

Kim: Oh, wow.

Charlie: is the stone staircase

going all the way up
to the second floor.

Martin: Nice.

Charlie: Bear right,
and here we have

a lovely dining room.

Martin:
It does need a bit of TLC.

Kim: It's dated, TLC,

but looking past that--

Martin: There's nothing
nothing too major, is it?

Kim: No. Is this proper stone,
do you think?

I shouldn't think so.
That's not what they

would have built with here.

- No.
- It's all been clouded over.

It's clouded over. Yeah.

- That would have to come down.
- Yeah.

Yeah, but it's nothing
major, though.

Charlie: Right. Let's have
a look at the kitchen.

Martin: Thank you.

Oh!

Charlie: So a nice light,
airy kitchen.

This looks out over
the little garden at the side.

Kim: Kitchen definitely needs
updating, I think.

Martin: Needs updating.
I think the whole place does.

I mean, you got--
you got plastic ceilings.

Kim: Kitchen is a big thing
for me.

I'd have to knock that wall down
and put that all in one.

Charlie: You've got
another room behind here.

- Have you?
- Yeah.

- So you could also go that way.
- Go that way?

Yeah.

Dick: That's quite a lot of work
for the kitchen,

and that's not the only job
that needs to be done.

Martin: Oh, look at that.

Charlie: I mean, you'd probably
want to rewire most of it.

Martin: I'd upgrade most
of this, yeah.

I mean, as in when we do rooms,
I would obviously upgrade

all the electrics.

Yeah, I mean, I would say
it's what I do,

so it's obviously--is that
a bathroom or something above?

They've obviously had
a leak up there,

and it's all come down, so.

Dick: Fixing the ceiling
and replacing the electrics

is adding even more jobs
to the to-do list.

What about the upstairs?

Kim: Oh, oh, the green.

Charlie: Right. This room here
is the one chambre d'hotes

which is on this level.

The other 4 are up in the roof.

This is one used for when there
are big parties or families.

Dick: This room is functional
for B&B guests,

but it'll need updating
before they can rent it out.

Kim: It just needs painting
Martin: Just a coat of paint.

Kim: Yeah.

You can see through this,
though, this room.

Oh, yeah.
No, all of it so far.

Kim: You know, you could have,
like, really nice curtains

along here, those sweepy ones,
you know,

that you have big ties.

Martin: Listen. You could dress
this room to make it

look a million dollars.

Yeah. Absolutely.

And it--you know, it doesn't--
it won't take a lot to do it.

Charlie: And here's
a nice little surprise.

Do you remember there's
a little, tiny turret?

Martin: Yeah.
Charlie: Here we are

with the little window.

Kim:
Oh, look, isn't that cute?

Oh, Martin, it's really cute.

It's like a little doll's house.

Come here.

I think this is lovely.

This is a little doll's house.

Oh, goodness.

We could have some fun in here.

It's great, innit?

[Laughter]

Dick: Tour done inside,
agent Charlie has

one more thing to show
Martin and Kim.

Kim: I love a pool. Yeah.
That's nice. Yeah.

Once again, it just needs...

It just needs
tidying up, Martin.

- That's all.
- Yeah.

Charlie: Some more plants.

Dick: This place is
great value for money,

but there's lots of work to do
to bring it up to date,

but will it be too much
for Martin and Kim?

Kim: It's exactly what we were
looking for really,

but I didn't realize how much
work that's

got to be done inside.

Martin: Ground floor
and the first floor

needs improvement.

I think on a scale of 1 to 10,
I would put it

probably 5, 6.

I was going to say that,
5 or a 6.

- Yeah, definitely a 5 or a 6.
- Yeah.

- Agree with you there.
- Thank you very much.

Dick: They might not have found
their dream chateau this time,

but they're determined
to keep looking.

At Chateau du Masgelier,
Fiona is battling to restore

the last
of the 34 window frames.

She needs to complete them
before hosting

her first-ever wedding reception
in two weeks' time.

Look. It's just glue.

I don't even know what that is.
That is just--that's not putty.

There you go.
You always have one, don't you?

You always have one window

Some idiot's done something
stupid to.

Dick: It's always the way.

Fiona needs to remove
all the old putty

or, in this case glue,
before she can

even start sanding the frames.

They say, "Would it be easier
to buy new windows?"

What I'm trying to do
at the moment is keep

some kind of originality
to the chateau.

I just want to sort of preserve
as much as I possibly can.

You see how these windows have
the little wooden plugs

to join all
the--all the joinery.

How lovely is that?

This is just the reason why
I want to try and save

these windows to preserve them
rather than just, you know,

using traditional glue
and some screws.

Just knock them in slightly
so they don't catch

as I'm sanding because
they've kind of come

a little to the surface.

It's just...

See that?
The way to please me?

Just buy me a power tool
and a toolbox.

Who needs diamonds?

Dick: Well said.
Can't think of anything better

than a rubdown with a sander.

Now it's the tricky bit
of putting back

the old window panes.

Let's hope nothing breaks
this time.

It's old.
It's got some scratches on,

but I think it's nice to have
some old pieces

of glass that have been there.

Dick: I completely agree.
It's great using original glass,

but putting it back in is
always a challenge.

So it's not actually--
it's actually wonky,

but it doesn't matter.

I'm going to tack
that in anyway.

I'm just going to put them
in a little bit

just to hold the glass
into place.

OK. That's great.

So I'm just going to get
some putty in there.

It's not going to be drying
for days,

so there's more than enough time
in the next 20 minutes

to just get it on
and tidy it up afterwards.

Dick: It's another job Fiona has
managed to take off the list.

Fiona: I won't be happy
until the windows

are completely ready,
they're painted, they're rehung,

and then I know
the southern side is complete,

but, you know, I've got--
well, I've got two weeks

to do a combination of jobs
here, so until then,

I can't kind of quite relax.

Dick: At Chateau de la Ruche,
Tim and Rebecca's idea

to bring in their mates
is paying off.

Tim with the help of Dale
now has just one last piece

of plasterboard to attach
to the wall to create

the new window sill.

Tim: In terms
of our very low standards,

it's perfectly adequate.

Dale: Yeah.

Dick: The entrance
to the chateau has come on

leaps and bounds.

Tim: We have got--the ceilings
in here

have had a coat of paint,

and they're looking
a lot better for it.

We've got our first coat
of paint on the walls,

so there's been a lot of filling
and sanding gone into these,

and these are now looking great
for having the coat of paint,

so this is the final color
they're going to be.

Dick: There's been lots
of progress made

in just under a day,

but as with all chateaus,
some things

don't quite go to plan.

Tim's friend Mick, who's
replacing the wooden panels

in the living room, has
unearthed a problem.

Tim: Yeah.
The paneling has come off,

and the wall has kind of
disintegrated behind it.

Mick: Yeah. The main problem was
we moved the wardrobe,

and the wardrobe was a good
integral part of this room

because it hid all the horrors
that somebody knew quite well

that were hiding behind that.

Dick: Luckily, it's not serious,
and nothing a bit

of clever camouflage can't sort.

Mick: Squint your eyes
a little bit, Tim.

Look. You can see the future.

We've got enough to make
one for there.

We've got enough to replicate
this into here.

Some of that is usable
for there.

We've got some little bits here
to make another

little bit here,
and then...

Tim: It's nearly finished.

Mick: Before, you know, it'll
all be hunky-dory,

I promise you.

Tim: Cool.

Dick: Sometimes, renovating
a chateau means

two steps forward and one back,

but with help from Tim
and Rebecca's friends,

they're still on target
to be ready

for their first B&B guests.

That's why he's been trained.

They've done a--they've done
a perfectly competent job.

No. It's good having lots
of hands on deck.

Yeah, and we've done a--
we've got a lot done.

It certainly saved us
a few days of work.

Dick: And what better way to say
thank you than

to lay on a delicious feast?

Tim: Thank you, everybody,
for coming.

We are genuinely flattered that
you've made the journey

over here to help us,
and it's lovely to have

all our friends with us
for the first time.

Starting to feel like we've made
massive progress today.

So thanks very much.
Cheers. Santé.

- Thank you.
- Cheers.

- Cheers.
- Cheers, Tim.

Thanks for coming.

Dick: Next time...

This is incredible.

Dick: Martin and Kim step up
their search

for their dream chateau.

Kim: This is just
what I'm hoping for.

Dick: Fiona faces a race
to be ready for the wedding.

Finoa: Oh, the glamor of it all.

Dick: For Tim and Rebecca,
crunch time is upon them.

I'm not feeling too
under pressure at the moment,

but ask me again later,
and I probably will be.

Dick: And we welcome back some
familiar faces,

who are going all out on
their next renovation project.

Karen: Chateau life.

Yeah. Aah!