Escape to the Chateau DIY (2018–2021): Season 2, Episode 18 - Episode #2.18 - full transcript

I'm Dick Strawbridge,

and along with my wife Angel
and our two children,

we've spent the last 4 years
turning an abandoned chateau

into our dream home.

No way!

Dick, voice-over: It's not just
where we live.

Angel: And you're in charge
of the kitchen.

Dick, voice-over:
It's where we work...

We're in business.

Dick, voice-over: and it turns
out we're not the only Brits

who have crossed the Channel
for the chateau life.



[Ding]

Dinnertime!

Dick: Now Angel and I
are back,

guiding more owners
on their chateau adventure.

How big's your pot of gold?

Not big enough, I'm afraid.

Angel: If you stand
from where I'm standing,

I think it looks quite lovely.

Go, go, go!

Dick: We'll work with some
familiar faces...

Welcome.

Dick, voice-over: and some who
are new to chateau life

as they battle to renovate
their homes...

Come the next nuclear holocaust,
this will be what's left.



Dick, voice-over: and make them
work as businesses...

You've got everything
done on the list?

No.

Ta-da!

Dick, voice-over: and we'll
reveal more

about our own
chateau experience.

You should not be able to see
the sky out of your roof.

Dick, voice-over:
There'll be ups and downs.

If this glass breaks,
there's going to be

more Euros in my swear jar.

[Crack]

Dick: but however hard
the going gets...

[Clatter]

for these pluck Brits,

their homes really are
their castles.

[Cheering]

Today...

playing host
for the first time...

Erin: When you say peel the
onions, am I taking off the--

JB: Don't peel the onion.

Dick: brings challenges
for new chateau owners.

The thermostat of the oven
is a very sensitive step.

Erin: The French do not like
meat that tastes like shoe.

Ha ha ha!

[Sighs]

Dick: We meet a Brit taking on
a tricking renovation...

It's literally just crumbling.

I mean, it's just horrible.

Dick: at a chateau
with potential toilet troubles.

May: Somebody was alerted
that our sewerage was going

directly into the River Layon.

Jack: It would be devastating
if our pipes

are causing the issues
and we were having

to dig up almost the entire
courtyard of our property.

Dick: And the first booking
for a brand-new wedding venture

hits a hitch.

The bride and groom
are arriving,

but they're not allowed
to come here yet

because it's not finished.

Dick: At Chateau de Bourneau
in northwest France,

fiancées Erin and JB
have been getting to grips

with their recently
purchased home.

The dream is to run
the 28-bedroom chateau

as a B&B and for events.

Erin: We would really love
to create

a really warm and loving
family home

but with a chateau
that we brought back to life

and restored for other people
to enjoy.

It'd be really lovely
to open the doors again.

Dick: Their chateau nestles
in the Pays de la Loire region,

and they've been
busy renovating.

Erin: It's gonna be a big job.
I think we just need to create

a bit of a mood board.

JB: Mm-hmm.

I know the mood already,
and it's not a good one.

Dick: Renovations are on hold
for now

as they're having a dry run
as hosts

by staging the 90th birthday
for JB's granddad.

Probably top priority is
making sure we have enough beds.

Yeah, yeah. We have
14 people coming, I think, yeah?

How many beds?

Well, we're missing at least
4 single beds,

but I think I have seen
some mattresses

on the top floor
of the chateau

that haven't actually been
lived in for about 20 years.

Dick: With such a big, new home,
it's always useful

to have a floor plan
to remember where everything is.

OK. So we have a plan
of the chateau.

So who's sleeping where?

Erin: Well, we definitely
have this double

and this double
and this double, so that's OK.

We need two twin beds
for the kids.

Yeah.

I've seen one, I think,
in this wing,

and there's another one
that looks like

it matches it that's upstairs.

OK.

Dick: While they've been
busy on the ground floor,

many of the upstairs rooms
have been untouched

since the chateau
was a nursing home.

Erin: So not the best
bed in the world,

but I think it will do
for the weekend.

I mean, that's structurally OK,
isn't it?

I hope nobody's
allergic to dust.

Yeah. It's not nice.
It's not particularly nice,

but, you know, what
a good hover, brush out,

we can air it outside,
it'll be fine.

Dick: In a different setting,
guests will never know

where the bed came from.

Actually, it's not
particularly heavy.

- That's OK.
- Yeah. Let's go. Yeah.

Dick: The mattress is being
moved down

two flights of stairs
to a first-floor guest room.

JB: Which room we gonna?

Erin: Um, let's take it into
maybe the middle room

on the right.

JB: We need to start
giving them names.

- So tell me. This one?
- Uh, yes, yes.

Let's go into this one.

We just put it here,
and we can get

the rest of the beds.

Erin: That will do.
JB: Lovely.

Erin: Lovely. We'll come
and hoover it and make it nice.

JB: Yeah. A bit of liquor.
Erin: Mm-hmm.

Dick: Next, JB's hoping to sort
out more sleeping arrangements

by repairing a sleigh bed
that needs a bit of TLC.

JB: So the bed
is pretty damaged.

Those two planks seems to be
moving about downwards,

so I need to take
those planks apart,

realign them, reglue.

Then I'll need to keep it
in position

while the glue sets,

a few screws in it
just for security,

and hopefully that will be
that easy...hopefully.

Ha ha ha!

Dick: A new bed would cost
hundreds of pounds,

so by fixing
this rickety, old frame,

engineer JB is making
a good saving.

At the moment, I'm learning
to do absolutely everything.

Being an engineer is helping,
to be honest.

I've always taken things apart.

Yeah. It's very good to be
practical.

My favorite tool, the hammer, is
probably needed by that stage.

You know, precision DIY
is all we are about.

So, yeah, hammer and glue.

Right.

Dick: Hammer and glue,
those much loved tools

of us precision engineers.

JB: So...

All right.

Dick: Being handy with a hammer
certainly saves a few bob.

All glued up.

Now time to make sure
it sticks.

JB: We're gonna try to put
straps on it nice

to keep it...

and we're gonna change tactic,

going from brute force
to ratchet strap.

This strap is just here
to hold everything in place

while the glue is drying.

Got it in place. Ready.

Yes. It's going in.

That that should do that.

Jib's on.
Went quite smoothly.

Surprisingly enough, I'm not
really used to that nowadays.

It seems like each time
I start something

it turns out to be
catastrophic,

so, yeah, no, this one
was easy so far.

Ha ha ha!

Dick: Good job, JB.

Now another 9 guests beds
to organize.

At Chateau des Lys,
husband and wife

Tim and Margreeth have
branched out

from hosting guests
to staging weddings.

Tim: This year, we're gonna
carry on doing our B&B,

and we're gonna gradually
introduce our Bohemian weddings

and vintage weddings.

Dick: Their chateau is
in Picardy

just an hour away from Calais.

They hope by holding
more weddings

they'll be able to afford
some much-needed downtime.

Margreeth: We really want to get
to the point

where we can have a family life,
and up until now,

we haven't had enough
income in the summer to do that.

Dick: They're about to host
a wedding

for Charissa and Antoine,

and they're trialing
a brand-new venture,

a vintage gin bar
where they can hold

prewedding parties.

We won't let you down.

We're laying
the groundwork for it,

and the big part of that
is to make it irresistible.

Dick: Since meeting
the bride and groom

4 months ago,
they've put in a new tile floor,

renovated furniture, and hooked
up power and lighting.

Ooh! First time.
Look at that. Amazing.

Dick: It's now the day
of the prewedding party,

but with guests arriving,
the place still needs

a lot of finishing touches.

Margreeth: The bride and groom
are arriving

in about half an hour,
but they're not allowed

to come here yet
because it's not finished.

So we've still got, I think,
about two hours' work to do.

Tim: Yep. We're going fine.
Margreeth: I am a big stressed,

but I'm not gonna let
anybody see that.

We're just gonna get it done.

Tim: I mean, they're gonna be
nervous enough as it is.

The last thing they want to do
is see an unfinished building.

It's gonna be fine.

Dick: Let's hope Margreeth's
all right on the night attitude

pays off,
but they're relying on tonight

to set their reputation
as a venue

worth paying thousands for.

If this doesn't go well tonight,

then we have to rethink
what kind of package

for weddings we can offer.

I'll be gutted if they
don't like it, totally gutted.

Dick: As well as still needing
to do the bar decor,

Tim is also in charge
of tonight's barbecue for 70.

For the barbecue, we're using
all the wood from our trees,

which is great, and it's
a much nicer way of cooking.

For me, I prefer it
to charcoal.

Dick: Nice touch.
Just one problem.

Tim's left it
to the last minute

to set up his al fresco kitchen.

Well, where's a good place
for the food?

Over by the barbecue.

Where's a good place
for the barbecue?

Um, which way
the wind's blowing?

No. So let's--
the wind is blowing--no.

There's no wind. Ha ha!

Woman: Do you want to
put it over there?

Yeah. I think we'll
put it here

and with the tables next to it,

with the tables of food
and meat and blah, blah, blah.

It's a bit heavy.
It's made--

this is made by my neighbor
from an old boiler.

Yeah. I love this. This is
one of my favorite things.

Dick: Whilst the wedding guests
check in

for a relaxing evening,
the bride and groom

are blissfully unaware
of what's going on backstage.

[Indistinct chatter]

Charissa: Yeah. It's crazy
to believe that

tomorrow's the day after about
9 months of planning.

We really looking forward
what Tim and Margreeth

have done with this barn,
but I'm sure they've done

their work--I hope
on this place.

Dick: Let's hope Tim
and Margreeth

haven't left it
too late to deliver.

We're sort of on top of it
but not really, you know?

Like everything really. Ha!

Dick: In northwest France
is 19th century

Chateau de la Vigne
bought by May,

a nutritionist,
and her husband Guy

17 years ago.

May: When I saw it, I absolutely
fell in love with it.

It captivated me,
it captured my attention,

and I thought, "You know,
this could work."

Dick: The chateau is
in the Loire Valley.

Guy's finance job
keeps him busy,

so it's down to May to make
their French home

pay its way as a business.

She's renovated the chateau
to offer 5 bedrooms

and suites
to accommodate guests,

plus she has 3 holiday cottages
in the grounds.

May: We've repainted,
we've installed bathrooms,

put up things like
sort of shelving,

renovated the kitchens,
made sure that

they're all fully equipped,
so all of that

has been installed.

Dick: Now able to host
up to 32 guests at a time,

the day-to-day running
of the place is no mean feat.

May, voice-over:
One of the biggest surprises

about owning
this sort of property

is how relentless
the work involved is,

so once I've finished one area
and I move on to another,

by the time I get round, we're
back to the original issue.

Well, the pictures are
all wonky today.

And it doesn't stop.

Dick: Nutritionist May
also runs health retreats...

- Looks good.
- I'm gonna sit here.

Dick: aided by 21-year-old
son Jack...

May: Jack, can you pass
the salad down?

Dick: and 19-year-old
daughter Jade.

They are the ones that do
everything with me,

and we're really a team of 3
running these health retreats.

Jack, do you like it?

Jack: Yeah, it's good.
I've just tried the salmon.

Jack, voice-over: So my job
around retreat time

is cooking, serving,
getting the property ready,

and cleaning things up
when the guests

are out and about.

Can you wipe your chin?

Jack: Thank you, Mum.
May: You're welcome.

Dick: The retreats have
proved popular,

so this year, she's hoping
to add a new edition

to the business.

One of the projects
for this year

is renovating the property
in the middle of the courtyard

into a dedicated space
for the yoga retreat.

Dick: She's creating a studio
for yoga classes

but is having to adapt
her plans

around a load-bearing wall.

On top of that,
the area where May wants

to install a kitchen
to prepare healthy meals

has a bad case of damp.

So this is
where all the damp is.

You can see it's just sort of
crumbling away,

but actually,
it's at its worst

just here in the corner
where the water is collecting.

To get that back room
up and running,

it's got to dry out,
we've got to replaster

and then repaint
and install a kitchen.

We've really got to work
quite hard at it from now on.

Dick: So May's called in
local tradesman Renan

in the hope of sorting out
the problem.

May: Bonjour, Renan.
Renan: Hi, May.

Dick: To see if the problem's
coming from outside,

they head to check
the gutters and drainage.

Exactly. So very damaged
guttering.

Don't break it obviously.

[Speaking French]

Ugh. It's just crumbling.

OK.

So, um, all of this
has to be replaced.

I mean, it's literally
just crumbling.

I mean, it's just horrible.

We've already got the sort
of guttering,

but it's all the supports
underneath that are

all gonna need replacing,

and then we've got to create
some sort of drainage

and dig right down
to that lowest level

so that all the water drains.

Because at the moment,
it's just collecting,

and the walls are
just totally soaked.

It's gonna be a bigger job
than I thought,

so it's not just a question
of installing a kitchen

into a room, which is what
I was hoping

was going to be the case.

Dick: May now has costly
corrective work to do

before she can even think
about installing her kitchen.

- OK. Merci. Merci beaucoup.
- À bientot.

I'm quite resilient.
I think you have to be.

If you're gonna buy a chateau
in the Loire Valley

in France,
you do have to be resilient.

Dick: At our chateau,

every season brings
its own jobs.

Winter gave us time to work
on some big projects

from clearing the moat...

to assessing
our 19th century roof.

In spring
before the events start,

we need to check everything
is still working,

including the 12-volt system
in the orangery

that I hooked up with 3
batteries powered by the sun.

What's not to like
about free electricity?

It's what gives our orangery
its lights.

[Woman singing in French]

I need to check the system
has survived

the months
of winter hibernation.

That's been working all winter,
so the batteries should be full.

I haven't had it switched on
so that I take power

from the batteries.

Mm-hmm.

And...give it a second.

I have a green light.

I'll go downstairs and just
check and make sure

I've got completely filled
batteries.

I have to now see if all
my circuits are functioning.

Everything's switched on.

Question is
whether it works.

Batteries are at 14.68 volts.

That's high. That means
the orangery's stocked up.

So far so good.

Looks like we have power.

That's all OK.
Time to make sure

that the bits we've got
connected work.

For example, these lights.

Right. First things first.

Yep. The lights on
in the compost toilet,

the backdoor lights.

That's working.

All I'm doing is just relieved

every time I press
a button that works.

As the chateau's
current custodians,

the place keeps us busy
all year round.

It's a far cry from being
a chateau owner

in days gone by.

It's just another one
of a list of jobs,

but something that's quite
nice about it

is the fact that going back
for the first 100 years

of the chateau's life
the family who owned

this chateau had another one
in Nante by the seaside,

and they came here
for the summers, I believe,

and when that was the case,

before they came along,
the staff that were living

across in the chateau itself
or in the servants' quarters,

they'd be running around,
getting it all

sort of tartified,
ready for the owners to come.

Sad thing of course is Angela
and I have to do the work.

That's neither here nor there.

OK. So this is working, as well.

Power all round. Good.

One last check,
the disco ball.

The ball and lights.

Ha ha ha!

Look at that.
Isn't that nice?

Checks done,
and everything's tickety-boo.

Winter at the orangery
is officially over.

So it's just like us opening
up for another season,

and so that's part
of the cycle that's been here

for decades, centuries,
and it's really quite nice.

At renaissance-style
Chateau de Bourneau

in the Pays de la Loire,
fiancés JB and Erin

are getting a practice run
at hosting paying guests

as they're holding
a family birthday party.

They've been busy fixing up beds
for all the family.

They're also serving food,
and that means installing

a brand-new fridge
they've just picked up.

- We drag it...
- Mm-hmm.

- tip it on its side...
- Mm-hmm.

bring the trolley,
put the fridge on the trolley.

- OK.
- And off we go.

A bit more, a bit more,
a bit more, a bit more.

- Yeah?
- Yeah. That's it.

Erin: Yeah.
That's roughly in the middle.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Low, low, low, low.

- Perfect.
- On it.

Well done.

- All right?
- OK. Now...

JB: Oh, hang on, hang on.
Put it back. Put it back up.

Dick: Moving this 120-kilogram
beast on a gravel path

could be quite a job.

JB: Oh. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

- It's very deep gravel.
- Yeah.

- 3, 2, 1.
- 2, 1. Oh!

Ohh! Stuck.

Erin: Uh, yeah.

JB: Ugh.
Erin: Yeah. Oh, yeah.

JB: Oh, yeah. Well done.

Ohh! Well, we've got this far.

Dick: Gravel navigated,
next obstacle is a step,

and this time JB's engineered
a solution.

It's actually--OK.
Two of us combined weight.

- It's fine.
- Yeah.

We weigh more
than the fridge.

Erin: We're the fridge,
so, yeah.

JB: This is science.
Erin: Ha ha ha!

Dick: They ramp may be up
to the weight of the fridge.

The question is
are JB and Erin?

Erin: You ready?

Are you?

Erin: Ugh. Ooh!
JB: Stop, stop, stop.

Turn it. Yeah. Good. Ready?

Erin: Yeah. Ooh!

JB: That was easy.
Erin: Ahh.

Ooh. No.

OK, and again.

Straighten up. Yeah.

- Whoo!
- We are in.

Erin: We are in! Hurrah!

We're in. Ha ha ha!

Should we unwrap it?
Should we see it?

- It's like Christmas.
- This is when we find

it isn't actually
the fridge we ordered.

JB: Misery if it's
not the nice one.

- Ready?
- Yeah.

Let's see, let's see!

OK. Ohh! Isn't it pretty?

Let's open it up
and have a check inside.

- It's got a wine rack.
- Ha ha ha!

Phew. Yeah.

- Good work. Well done.
- Well done.

Well done. Ha!

All right. Tidy up,
and then on

to the next chore, I think.

Dick: That's a rather big job
of meal planning

and provisioning for a weekend
of 14 members of the family.

At Chateau des Lys
in northern France,

Tim and Margreeth
are rushing to finish

their gin bar in time
for their guests'

prewedding party.

Margreeth: They're not allowed
to come here yet

because it's not finished.

Dick: So the pressure's on
to make tonight

go with a bang.

Margreeth: It's really
important for us

that the bride and groom
love it

because if they do
other people will.

If they're happy,
they will tell other people,

and other people will be
happy to use it,

and that's exactly
what we want.

Dick: There's still loads to do,
including finishing

the barbecue area,
but Tim's being a trouper.

We're on track actually.
We're OK.

We got a lot
of the meats done.

Couple more things to do.

When you're cooking for 70,
you tend to run out

of things quite quickly--

bowls and all sorts
of things, knives.

It's sort of important to have
somebody doing the washing up

all the time.

We don't have anybody for that,

so there's another level
of complication

needs to be sorted out.

Dick: While Tim is busy
with prepping the kitchen,

Margreeth is settling
in the gin producers

they've hired for the night.

Tim: We got a mixologist
coming today from Holland,

and he's bringing his stuff
with him,

and he's got this
really cool gin

that, as far as we know,
there's only about

1,000 bottles of it
ever been made.

Dick: Tim seems to have made
a tactical error

dividing his time
between the gin bar

and the chateau.

I'm sort of--I'm running
between two kitchens.

I got half my stuff over there
and half of it over here.

It's totally inefficient.

It's a really stupid way
of doing things,

and I should have just
organized one of them

before I started.

It keeps me fit,
so it means I can

eat more stuff.

That's the important thing.

Dick: Lesson learned,
but run faster,

and I bet you don't do
the same thing next time.

Tim: I think now--
I think they're just

a bit sort of, you know, antsy.

Still got to get
about 5 elements

of the food together
for 70 people,

so that's about
350 things to do.

Ha ha!

I got 350 things to do
in about, I don't know--

however long it is.

Dick: It's getting dark,
and the guests

are getting hungry.

Bride Charissa has concerns.

Charissa: Everybody's here.

We have all our family
and friends together,

so now I'm even more anxious
what Tim and Margreeth

have prepared,
so--and we have

all our friends here waiting.

We're all anxious,
we're all pretty psyched

to see what's going on
in the forest.

Finally, we get to know.

I hope it's gonna be
something amazing.

Dick: Well, there's not long
to wait now.

Back at the fairytale
Chateau de Bourneau

in the Pays de la Loire,
JB and Erin

are hosting their
first big event,

a family party
for the 90th birthday

of JB's granddad Jean.

Today's Sunday lunch for 14
is also good practice

for the couple,
who hope to cater

for paying guests and events
in the future.

JB: The pièce de résistance
is gonna be

a large leg of wild boar

from my parents' farm
in Burgundy.

I've cooked wild boar before,

but something
of that size never.

It's my family,
so hope for them

to be nice with it. Ha ha ha!

Dick: And with a family
of French foodies

to keep happy,
today, JB is wearing the apron,

and former hospital anesthetist
Erin is all scrubbed up

for her new role
as sous chef.

Erin: All right, chef.
All yours.

What do you want me to do?

JB: Uh, can you--sorry
peel or separate

all the garlic cloves, please?

- OK. Sure. No problem.
- All of them.

OK.

I have to say
I have never heard

of garlic bon bons,

and I've never done it
obviously before either.

French chef, when you say
peel the onions,

am I taking--

JB: Don't peel the onion.
Leave the last--

Erin: I mean, peel the garlic,
what do you want me to leave?

- Yeah. Leave it like this.
- Like that?

- Just break them down.
- OK. Fine.

Yeah. Just like that.

Erin: Cooking really is
not my domain,

so, I mean, I love learning.

It's quite fun to have
an experience

learning something
completely different,

but this is not something that

I'm actually used
to doing, so...

Dick: The inexperienced caterers
are also facing

extra requests
from their diners.

My sister threw in an idea
that she would like

to make a tian,
so...so, yeah.

Erin: OK. Well, does she
know how to?

Should we ask her
to give us a hand

if she thinks that
would be nice

to go with the course.

I think she had
a tian before.

Oh. May not actually
have the recipe for it.

JB: I don't know if she has
cooked a tian before.

Erin: We still have
the sauces to prepare.

It needs to look
presentable, as well.

We need to find
where the jambon is

because I don't know
where that's been put.

OK. My sister was
in charge of that hopefully.

OK. We've got this new
French recipe,

which we don't know
what it is.

It's supposed to be
very easy.

- That's what she said.
- Supposed to be easy,

but--OK.

We need some French help
with this

because I've never
heard of this recipe.

Dick: JB's sister Helene may not
have the recipe for tian,

but at least she can help out
with table arrangements.

- Good.
- Yeah?

- So one on...
- On the left, right?

- On the left.
- Left, left is better. Yeah.

Helene: Well done.
Learned the French way.

Erin: I did it.
Is that the French way?

We'll follow your lead.

Update on the cooking.

The thermostat of the oven
is a very sensitive step.

Unfortunately, I turned it up
far too high

to start the meat.

It is, well, c'est si,
as the French would say.

Dick: Come on, JB.
In the long term,

it may best to get rid
of the guesswork

by fixing the oven.

The French do not like meat
that tastes like shoe.

Ha ha ha!

- It has to be...perfect...
- Perfect.

so I'll let you take charge
and responsibility.

- Full blame. Full blame.
- And full blame for that.

Dick: How much blame JB gets
will only be revealed

when the joint is rested
and carved.

I hope he doesn't get
a roasting.

In the Loire Valley,
nutritionist May is battling

to sort out a damp
in her planned yoga studio

in time
for a well-being retreat

in less than 4 weeks.

May: I love the idea
that I can use my properties

and combine it
with my nutrition skills

and offer people
the opportunity to learn

about health and nutrition
and how to have

a healthy lifestyle.

I'll be very disappointed
if we don't manage

to finish the yoga space
in time.

It may not be ready,
but we'll see.

Dick: Now May has an even
bigger problem.

The local government suspects
her chateau

is pumping sewage
into the nearby river.

May: The problem we have
is that our sewerage goes

from this property
across the road

to another property,
and somebody was alerted

that our sewerage was going
directly into the River Layon.

Now we're absolutely certain
that isn't the case,

but we've now had to go
through the whole big process

of proving it.

Dick: If May can't convince
the environment officer

there's no problem,
she's facing

a very big repair bill.

May: If we come out
of the meeting today

and they are not convinced
that we're doing

what they want us to do
with the sewerage,

then we're gonna have to go
down the route

of digging up courtyards,
putting in septic tanks,

and putting in pumps,
so the quote that we've had

is 55,000 Euros.

I'm really, really hoping
we don't have to go

down that route.

I'm so nervous.

Dick: 21-year-old son Jack
is just as worried.

Jack: It would be devastating
if it were the case

that our pumps and our pipes
are causing the issues

and we were having to dig up
almost the entire courtyard

of our property.

Dick: Meeting over,
it's not the best news.

The office has found that
river water is flooding

into May's waste pipes
before being carried

to the municipal
treatment works.

May: It's an old property,
so anything that was done

a long time ago
will need looking at again,

and that's the situation
that we're in now.

Dick: Sorting this out could run

into tens of thousands
of pounds,

so it's vital that May increases
her income.

To boost bookings, she's hired
a professional photographer

to get new shots to showcase
the chateau on her web site.

- Ca va?
- Oui. Vous?

Oui. Merci, merci.

I'm just gonna fly around
before the photographer,

do my bit,
and it's gonna be

a long day, though,
because every room's

gonna need photographing.

[Camera shutter clicking]

Dick: But May's forgotten
to schedule the shoot

around today's guest arrivals.

May: Just hope they
don't arrive early.

Sometimes, they do.

These are so delicious.

French cheeses are
really quite amazing.

[Camera beeping]

[Shutter clicks]

I'm gonna have to clear
it all again

before the guests arrive,

so I certainly wouldn't
normally be doing this,

but I think it makes
a big difference

to the photographs,
so I think it's worth it.

I think...that's
gonna look good.

[Camera beeping]

[Shutter clicking]

I think he's just
in one more bedroom,

and then we can finish
off in here,

which will be great.

Dick: David grabs
a few final frames

before check-in time.

May: I'm expecting the guests
any minute.

That's why I'm desperate
to finish the apartment

because they're actually
staying in the apartment.

Probably should have
started with that one,

but I wasn't thinking straight
first thing this morning.

- Hello.
- Hi.

You made it. Hi. I'm May. Hi.

Thank you. Well done.

I will sleep very soundly,
and hopefully,

tomorrow's another day
and I can start thinking

straight about all
the other things

that we need to deal with,

so so far,
I'm still standing.

Ha ha!

Dick: And May really needs
a good night's sleep

as there's still lots to do
if her yoga studio

is to be ready
for her next well-being retreat.

At Chateau des Lys,
4 months after promising

their vintage gin bar,

Tim and Margreeth are almost
ready to show it

to the anxious bride and groom,

whose guests are getting hungry.

Margreeth: The only thing
I need to do now

is the props
for the photo booth,

rearrange what they've done
with the glasses

because that's not gonna
work like that,

so I have to do that,

and then we're gonna get
the couple

and all their friends over
and start the evening,

so I hope Tim's ready.

I really, really do hope
he's ready.

Dick: With guests due
to be tucking in at any moment,

Tim's missed
one important job.

We forgot to light
the barbecue. Aah!

So--and it needs
about an hour,

although we've got some
more wood,

so it's gonna be
a big quicker.

We need some better wood,
to be honest.

That's the problem.

There's a few good bits here,
but it's not burning, is it?

Dick: Wet wood that won't light
is the last thing Tim needs

with a hungry wedding party
waiting in the wings.

Tim: OK. We'll get some, uh...

Yeah. I should--

Dick: Stay focused, Tim.

Tim: Is there any fire
anywhere yet?

Man: I let it sit on that.

Tim: OK.
I'm really panicking now.

We're about an hour away
form this being

anywhere near cookable.

Send out for a takeaway.

That's the next option, I think.

Dick: A last-minute takeaway
for 70 might be tricky.

Times like this are said
to try us,

and as chateau owners,
it's how we think on our feet

that makes or breaks us.

OK. Now I feel stressed.
Yeah. Now I know how I feel.

I feel stressed. OK.
Ha ha ha!

Dick: JB and Erin are getting
into practice

for hosting guests
with the first big event

at Chateau de Bourneau,

a 90th birthday weekend
for JB's granddad Jean.

Rookie sous chef Erin's
been struggling

with her new role.

And this is not something that
I'm actually used

to doing, so...

Dick: Whilst fiancé JB
has struggled with the oven.

JB: The thermostat of the oven
is a very sensitive step.

Unfortunately, I turned it up
far too high to start the meat.

Dick: Now the families have
decided

it's all hands on deck
in the kitchen.

Erin: I think everyone's
getting a bit hungry,

so everyone's come in
just to quicken things up,

but we're all on time.

We've had a lot of help,
as well, so that's good.

Dick: The phrase
"too many cooks"

is clearly lost in translation.

JB: This is the last thing
to be in the oven,

the last 3 minutes,

but I still have to check
the meat,

but, yeah, we are good,
we're on it.

Everyone needs to leave now,

so they're gonna
have some champagne,

and we can just finish it,
and then we're ready.

Dick: If you need to clear
a kitchen...

[Cork pops]

Oh, good shot!

Dick: get the champagne out.

Erin: Papi, bon anniversaire.

Helene: Bon anniversaire.

A little stressed.

- Come on. Cheers. Sante.
- Sante.

Erin: Bon anniversaire, Papi.

Erin, voice-over: So far,
crossing me fingers,

that everything's gonna
go to plan

because we have some
very hard critics

to impress
with our French cooking.

Dick: Time to find out
if the roasted wild boar

centerpiece has survived
JB's tribulations with the oven.

JB: This is cooked.

It's a bit cooked so far,

but it doesn't
look too dry I hope.

Now we are carving it.

Now we can start to see
some pink.

That should be good,
so I'm gonna start

plating it slowly.

Dick: That should keep
the family happy.

Pièce de la résistance.

Ce n'est pas moi.
It's not me

that can take credit.

It's JB.

Dick: Despite oven troubles,
JB has triumphed.

[Speaking French]

[Indistinct chatter]

For the sous chef, thank you.

Ha ha ha!

Dick: For the birthday cake,
novice cook Erin

has played it safe
and ordered out,

but, shh, I won't tell
if you don't.

* Happy birthday to you *

* Happy birthday to you, Jean *

* Happy birthday
to you *

[Clapping]

JB: Day's over.
Erin: Yeah.

JB: We've survived the lunch.

Erin: We survived.
I think it went really well.

I think everyone was
really happy, and...

JB: We've learned a lot, also.

Erin: We've never had to
cook or cater

for a meal this size,

and, you know, I must say
credit to you

as the French chef.

It was very good.

You can now relax.

- I can sleep for a week now.
- Exactly.

- Cheers!
- Cheers!

Dick: At Chateau des Lys
in northern France,

Tim and Margreeth
aren't quite ready

to welcome the bride and groom
and 70 guests

to their new vintage gin bar.

Tim's forgotten to light
the barbecue

and urgently needs to get on
with the cooking.

Tim: They say a watched pot
never boils,

and a watched fire
never seems to get lit, so...

Dick: Finally,
the wet wood catches,

and they can get going.

Tim: That's going now,
so, yeah.

We got the barbecue on now
on finally--ahh--

and it's better late
that never,

and it's France, you know?

Everyone eats late in France.

Dick: Margreeth's also put
the final touches

to the bar decor.

Margreeth: We made it.
It's finished but stressful.

It's been a heavy day,
so I'm just dying

to have a little--
you know, to show them around

and then have
a little drink and relax.

Fingers crossed that this is
what they were expecting.

Dick: Time to see what
the bride and groom make

of the new bar space.

[Indistinct chatter]

- Charissa.
- Hi!

We would like to invite you
to come to the party area.

Charissa: So we can finally see
what you've been working on.

We apologize
for taking so long.

Yeah, it's 9:00, guys.
You said 8:30.

We did.

Dick: Hopefully, the bar
will make up for it.

4 months ago,
this was a dilapidated shed.

Now it's a vintage gin bar
in the woods.

Wow!

Margreeth:
Is this is a good start?

Charissa: Yeah.
It's a great start. Wow!

Margreeth: We would like you
to be the first two people

to ever use
our new photo booth.

This is a photo opportunity.

Charissa: A photo of you guys
taking all the photos.

It's so funny.

Dick: From pigsty
to picture perfect.

It's a hit!

Margreeth: It means so much
to me because

all these people love it,
and they are our target group.

They're all young, hip,
trendy people

about to get married.

That's exactly what we need.

Dick: And Tim's barbecue buffet
is going down a storm, too.

Tim: We worked our socks off to
get this place up and running,

and to get the gin bar
built on time

has been a job of work,
and, yeah,

I mean, I'm pleased with it.

I'm proud of it to be honest.

Charissa: Wow! Ha ha ha!
It was great.

Antoine: It's amazing.

Yeah.

Exceeded our expectations
above and beyond.

You really hit the ball
out of the park seriously.

It's great.
It's really great.

You promised you'd deliver,
and you really did.

I mean, it's actually
what they described.

They told us what it's
gonna look like,

and then they made it.

Charissa: And the drinks
are amazing,

the people are amazing,
the scenery's amazing,

so what more
could we ask for really?

Margreeth: The gin bar
is an absolute hit.

It's such a hit with people.

Tim: So you sort of
shoot it, see?

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

They talk about it,
ask questions,

want to try everything out.

It's amazing.
I couldn't have wished

for a better reaction.

You know, they loved it.

They are loving it.

It's fantastic.
I'm so pleased.

Dick: It looked like they may
fall at the final hurdle,

but Tim and Margreeth
have delivered

and are well on their way
to making the wedding packages

a very successful part
of the business.

- Très bon.
- Very good.

Merci. Yeah. Very good.

Dick: Next time,

I step in to help
JB and Erin...

How are we doing?
Nice to see you.

Dick, voice-over:
With an unhinged problem.

- Ohh.
- You broke it.

-Yeah.
- In the hole.

Yeah, obviously.

Dick: Well, that's a bit
of an issue.

Dick, voice-over:
The floodgates open

at Tim and Margreeth's
chateau...

Tim: I've got a great leak
down here,

and my kitchen is flooding,

so I don't know
what to do.

Dick: and nutritionist May's
healthy baking

is not a family favorite.

May: Go on. Try it.

It's just not very nice.

May: Yes, it is.