Escape to the Chateau DIY (2018–2021): Season 2, Episode 16 - Episode #2.16 - full transcript

Dick Strawbridge, voice-over:
I'm Dick Strawbridge and,

along with my wife Angel
and our two children,

we've lived in this
magnificent chateau in France

for the last 4 years.

[Kiss]
Angel: [Indistinct].

Dick, voice-over:
It's not just our home...

Dick: Ta-da!

Dick, voice-over:
But a business.

Angel: There we go.
Boy: Thank you very much.

Dick, voice-over: And it turns
out we're not the only ones

who want a chateau
to call home.



Woman: Wow!

Woman: Oh, my gosh.

Woman 2: Ah, heaven.

Dick, voice-over: Now
Angel and I are back guiding

more daring Brits
on their journey.

Dick: This work is
interesting, isn't it?

Angel: A bit of copper bling.

Woman: I can't believe it.

Dick, voice-over: We'll work
with some familiar faces...

Man: Cheers, baby.
Woman: Cheers.

Dick: Good to see you.
Woman: Welcome!

Dick, voice-over:
And meet a new wave of

chateau-loving Brits.

Woman: Ta-da!



Angel: This is great.

This is where
the creativeness is.

Dick: Look at that movement.

Oh, man.
I love it.

Dick, voice-over: As they
battle to renovate

their homes...

Woman: Aah!

Dick, voice-over: And make
them work as businesses.

Woman: Oh, there it goes!

Dick, voice-over:
There'll be triumphs...

Dick: Oh, wow.
Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow.

Dick, voice-over:
And setbacks.

Woman: Seriously, though,
I was really close

to a breakdown.

Man: Whoa!

Dick, voice-over: But however
hard the going gets,

for these plucky Brits...
[Cheering]

Dick, voice-over:
Their homes really are
their castles.

[All talking at once]

[Glasses clinking]

Dick, voice-over: Today...

Woman: The whole wall
is soaking.

Dick, voice-over: Two
brand-new chateau owners

discover their dreams
could be crumbling.

Man: We think that water's
coming through the wall.

Dick, voice-over: So, I sail
in to help keep them afloat.

Dick: If you look at that,
that's going to be

your problem throughout.

Dick, voice-over: We welcome
back a couple who are

branching out into
musical events...

Woman: There are lots of
things happening.

That's trouble.

Too much competition here.

Dick, voice-over: But
agreeing on stage directions

proves trickier.

Man: It's not going to work.

Woman: And then we've
got extra space.

People sitting on walls...
Man: It's not going to work.

Dick, voice-over: Plus, we
catch up with another couple

who have diverging ideas.

Woman: I've got a vision
and Tim's got a vision.

They're not actually
the same visions, yet.

[Tim laughs]

Very nice to
meet you, as well.

Dick, voice-over: And a tough
job to impress new clients.

Dick: I know it looks like
a rat-infested shed,

and it is, but...

Dick, voice-over: More of us
Brits are taking on

the challenge of owning
a French chateau.

Dick: Got the rope
[indistinct].

Boy: Yeah!

Dick, voice-over:
Like Angel and I, they're

doing up buildings
and setting up in business.

Dick: This is why
we work as a team.

Angela makes it happen
and I just say,

"Yes, darlin'."

Dick, voice-over: Just over
100 miles south of

our chateau, also in
the Pays de la Loire,

is the fairy-tale
Chateau de Bourneau.

Dating back to 1464,
it was rebuilt

in mock-Renaissance style
in the 19th century.

Sitting in a 40-acre estate,
it has around 50 rooms

and its own moat.

Anesthetist Erin and her
French-born fiancé,

engineer Jean-Baptiste,
known as "JB,"

moved in just a few days ago.

Erin: It was a total coup
de froudre, as the French say.

It's like love
at first sight, for me.

We'd looked at--I don't know
how many--10, 11 plus?

JB: The criteria we had,
first off,

was fairy-tale chateau,
you know.

It had to have this wow look,
this Disney sort of

look of a chateau.
Erin: Yeah, exactly.

JB: And that is the only one
we think that was like this.

Erin: And had that feeling.

Dick, voice-over:
The chateau may look romantic,

but it needs work.

Once a nursing home
and refugee accommodation,

in part, there's half
a century's worth of neglect.

Erin and JB have a big job on
their hands to turn it into

a successful B&B
and events venue.

Erin: We're very privileged
to be in a position where,

hopefully, we'll be able
to do it up and restore it

to its former glory and share it
with the people.

I think that's really...
JB: One day.

Erin: One day.

Dick, voice-over: They bought
the chateau for around £600,000

and paid extra for
the 4 holiday cottages,

or gites, that they
can rent out.

Erin: The ability for us
to actually restore the chateau

relies on having
a functioning business.

We do need an income for that,
um, and so having these

holiday lets is the perfect
answer to that.

Dick, voice-over: But
as we know, owning a chateau

isn't always glamorous.

And just days after getting
the keys to the holiday gites,

there's a problem in one.

[Record scratch]

Erin: I've never had to deal
with a blocked toilet before,

but, uh,
this is part of the fun

and the glamour
of the experience.

It's a bit of a baptism of
fire for us, since we've only

had the keys for two days, um,
and we don't even have

the right equipment
at the moment.

Do you want me to have a look
in the shed to see if there's

anything else that's been left
by the previous owners?

I don't know if anything
over there's going to be

a useful tool,
but you never know.

We'll see.
Ha ha!

Welcome to the chaos.

So, you never know.

We might find something
that could be used.

What we really need
is vet gloves.

That would be good.

So, we could actually
just put our hands in

and just push it through.

So, I'm equipped, I think.

[Laughs]

JB: Voila!
That's it.

Erin: Oh, you've done it!
Oh, you star.

JB: That's done.
So you're going to put

some of, uh,
the drain unblock in it.

Erin: Yeah.
JB: Let it sit for some time.

We need to buy a new plunger.

This is absolutely useless.

Erin: Well done.
[JB sighs]

Can we finish breakfast?

Erin: Yeah.
[Laughter]

Dick, voice-over: I'm
surprised they've still got

an appetite after that.

But they
have a much bigger

water problem to deal with.

They find signs of rising damp
and something more worrying

in the chateau's
15th-century cellar.

Erin: So, this is where
we can hear the water

trickling through.

JB: This is the old
foundation wall.

It's soaking wet.

Erin: Yeah.
The whole--

the whole wall is soaking.

JB: I think that water is
coming through the wall.

Erin: Mm-hmm.

JB: So--and you can see--like
the mortar, you can just push.

Erin: Yeah.
That's not ideal.

JB: So, if that's what's
holding the chateau together,

it's a bit worrying.

Erin: Yes.

This is, like,
as soft as clay.

This water problem may have
been there for 500 years, um,

so, whether it's something we
can fix, or whether it's just

something we can
sort of manage, um,

we'll have to find out.

We'll need some
expert advice for that.

Dick, voice-over: Our chateau
cellar is built above

water level, but a chateau
surrounded by a moat

can create problems.

So, I'm on my way
to take a look.

Dick: You see,
that's gorgeous.

Draw a picture of a chateau,
and if you don't draw

something like that,
you've got it wrong.

Yeah, it's very special.

Very special, indeed.

[Horn honks]

Dick: Hi-ya!
Erin: Hello!

Welcome.

Dick: Lovely to meet you.

Erin: Lovely to meet you, too.

Dick: Darling,
the place is stunning.

Erin: Oh, thank you.

Dick: The place is stunning.

Erin: Oh, I'm pleased
you like it.

It was love at first sight
for us when we saw it, so--

Dick: Yeah, but
that's the outside.
What's it like?

What's the condition
of the place like?

Erin: Well...
JB: Uh...

[Laughter]
Erin: That's another story.

Dick: Come on.
Show me, show me, show me.

Erin: Please, come in.
Dick: No, please, you go on.

Go in.
Thank you.

Erin: And here we go.

Dick: This is perfect!

What are you talking about?

It looks great!

JB: Yeah, in appearance
it looks good.

Uh, we've got a bit of
a rising damp problem.

Uh, so it shows up everywhere--

on the staircase, the wood--
it's just...

Erin: It's actually
disintegrating, so...

JB: So, before we start
any renovation work,

we need to solve that problem,
I think.

Dick: Do you know where
the source of it is?

Obviously, you've got a moat.
That's...

JB: Yeah.
Dick: Ha ha.
Come on.

JB: It's probably that.
Dick: Hold on.

You don't have a cellar
below ground level, do you?

JB: No, we do.

Well, it's dug.
It's underneath.

Dick: So, it's below
the water level.

Erin: Yeah.
Not ideal. Ha!

Dick: Not ideal?
Erin: No.

Dick: You think?
You think?

Dick, voice-over: The problem
is really noticeable

in the yellow salon,
which they want to use

as their showcase
function room.

So, to get the full picture,
we're going to check

the walls of the island
from on the moat.

Dick: I had my first little
boat when I was 9.

You put me in a happy
place, here.

Thank you.
Which way are we going?

JB: This way.

Dick, voice-over:
There's nothing quite like

messing around on the water.

[Water splashing]

Over 300 miles south is

the 11th-century
Chateau de Brametourte

in the Occitane region.

Once the ancestral home of
artist Toulouse-Lautrec,

it's now home to
Paul and Allison,

who bought it in 2006
for £600,000.

Allison: There was water
pouring through

all of the ceilings.

The beams had collapsed.

Floors had broken away, um,
and it was probably

what would look like
a living hell.

A friend of ours said to us,
"It's not really

"a renovation project.

It's actually a ruin
you're looking at here."

Dick, voice-over: Undaunted,
Paul and Allison set about

transforming it into
a B&B and wedding venue.

Allison: Over the last 11, 12
years, somehow we've evolved

bit by bit to turning it
into a stunning home.

Now we find ourselves
in a chateau that's

virtually complete
and it's been renovated

to the best standard
we could do together.

Dick, voice-over: When we
first met them last year,

they were finishing a new
outdoor kitchen and terrace

by the pool for wedding parties.

Paul: We're opening
the kitchen, officially.

[Crowd cheering]

Dick, voice-over: This year,
they're focusing on new ideas

to increase their income
out of season.

Paul: The weddings are really
popular in the summer.

People don't get married so
much in the fall or the spring

or over Christmas, so, we're
looking at other ideas that

will keep us busy, if
you like, throughout the year.

Dick, voice-over: One idea
they have is musical evenings,

so, they're staging a trial
that will be free to guests.

To cover the costs,
Allison and Paul

want to sell cocktails.

That means a trip
down to the town hall

for an alcohol license.

[Woman speaking French]

Allison: OK...
[speaking French]

This is great news, um,
for the concert.

The only problem we've got
is that they say

we--the alcohol has to be
less than 18%.

We don't know how
to make cocktails

less than 18%.
[Laughs]

So, we'll have to think
about that one. Ha ha!

Champers, Truffles, come on.

Dick, voice-over: License
sorted, the next challenge

is to drum up an audience.

And with the help
of Fred Grant,

Allison is getting the word out.

Allison: To make a cocktail
concert successful,

we probably need at least
60 people to come,

and in the pre-season there's
not that many people around.

You see, they've got lots of
posters in their window.

Lots of things happening.
That's trouble.

Too much competition, here.

[Stapler punches]
[Both speaking French]

Dick, voice-over: All Allison
and Paul need now are

music fans who like
a cocktail or two.

The 19th-century
Chateau des Lys

is home to Essex-born Tim,
his wife Margreeth,

and their son Joe.

Situated in France, just
an hour's drive from Calais,

it has 55 rooms
and two holiday cottages

in the 14-acre grounds.

The couple fell for
the chateau 5 years ago.

Tim: I thought it was
the nicest place
I'd ever seen.

It was unconditional.
I just fell in love with it.

Margreeth: We decided, on
spot, to buy it, and I think

we signed two days later.

So, you need
5 English breakfasts.
Tim: Yep.

Dick, voice-over: We first met
them when they were running it

as an events venue
and B&B business.

Tim: Look at that.
Breakfast is done. Yes!

Dick, voice-over:
Despite all their efforts,

funding a chateau is hard work.

Margreeth: Of course,
it costs a lot of money

to live in a place like this.

Tim: Well, I see this place
as being a bit like a cross

between sort of
the Addams Family

and Fawlty Towers, you know.

And, financially, we are not
doing great,

but we're not doing badly.

[Door squeaks]

Dick, voice-over:
So, when they visited us

at our chateau...

Tim: Wow!
Look at this place.

Dick, voice-over: We
suggested that they offer

weekend wedding packages.

Angel: It will take a little
while to make, say, between

5 and 10 grand worth of
just clear profit

from--from B&Bs as for
one wedding.

Tim: I think one of the things
we got from Dick and Angel

when we saw them was that they
said, you know, "You gotta pick

what you think you want to do
and focus on it."

And they're absolutely
right about that.

Tim: Bye, guys.
Dick: Drive carefully.

Tim: Bye, bye.

You should opt for the thing
that delivers the most,

and that's going to be weddings.

Dick, voice-over:
Tim and Margreeth have weddings

in the diary for the summer, but
now they need to persuade people

to extend their bookings
to include more than just

a one-day event.

Tim: There are loads of
chateaus doing weddings,

so, you need to have something
which is different,

and the thing we're going to
have different is that

we're going to have this whole
sort of vintage bohemian thing.

Dick, voice-over: They want
to offer a pre-wedding

party night and have
the perfect spot in mind.

Margreeth: It's an old shed,
but it's in this

lovely, little field.

Tim: Yeah, it's a romantic
place, isn't it?

Margreeth: It is romantic.

And it is really
like, if you imagine

having a wedding
in a countryside,

that's the place.

Tim: Yeah.

Dick, voice-over: The package
will include a gin bar,

photo booth, fire pit,
and magical lighting.

They're hoping to sell their
Boho concept to couple

Antoine and Charissa, who have
booked their wedding reception

at the chateau this summer.

Tim: Hey, guys.

You made it.
Hello. Hi.

Charissa: Good to
finally meet you.

Tim: Yeah, nice to
meet you, as well.
Welcome. Yeah.

Charissa and Antoine have
agreed to have their wedding

here in 4 months' time
and, um, at the moment,

they're coming in just for
one day and they're

going to do their own thing
a bit.

But we're trying to persuade
them to take our special

Chateau des Lys
vintage wedding option.

Margreeth: We just hope that
they're going to be the couple

that loves that and that
they want to try it out.

So, it would be a tryout
for us and, hopefully,

a great day for them.

Tim: Yep.

Dick, voice-over: This is
the first time bride Charissa

has visited her wedding venue.

Charissa: I have to say I was
a little bit nervous

that he already picked
the venue, but, uh,

I am not disappointed at all.

Margreeth: We want to suggest
having the Friday evening

here, as well, um,
because we want to develop

an outdoor Boho
wedding party area.

Tim: Yeah.
It's just gotta get built.

That's the only sort of slight
drawback at the moment.

So, you've sort of have a lot
in the imagination.

Dick, voice-over: At Chateau
de Bourneau, I'm helping

new owners Erin and JB...

Dick: Lovely to meet you.

Erin: Lovely to meet you, too.

Dick, voice-over: Find a
solution to their rising damp.

Dick: Thank you.
Which way are we going?

JB: This way.
Dick: Yeah. OK.

Dick, voice-over:
And, as the moat may well be

the source of the problem,
I'm taking a closer look.

Dick: Right.
Th--to stop water

getting into that island,
the whole of this

has to be completely
tanked and sealed.

JB: Concrete?
Dick: Ah, well, yeah.

It'll have to be sealed off.

You know, even here, yeah,
you can tank this all off,

but the whole water table--if
you dig a hole anywhere,

you're going to find water.
JB: Yeah.

Dick: If you were to just
pick a point in here

and dig a hole down,
there's going to be water there,

because this is the level
of your water.

Um, I gotta tell you.
[Laughs]

Right.
Fixing the basic source

of water coming
onto your island,

um--How big's
your pot of gold?

Erin: Not big enough,
I'm afraid.

Dick, voice-over:
Sealing the whole moat

is a massive job
and just not feasible,

as well as being
very, very expensive.

Dick: It can't be
a priority at the moment.

You have to actually find
a way of alleviating it.

If you look at that, every
single bit we've come along

here, uh, JB, is just
water all the way around.

JB: Yeah.
Dick: Which means that

that's going to be, um,

that's going to be
your problem throughout.

JB: Yeah.

Erin: But that's the beauty
of having you here,

is you giving us this advice
so we know

where to focus our efforts.

Dick: Well, let's go inside
and have a look inside.

But, before we do that, you
know, here we are in your lot

having a look
around your moat.

JB: Let's go.
Dick: Because the wall's

quite good, but I'm afraid

I'm going to need to go
once around.

Erin: Yeah.
More than one.

Dick: Where's
the paddle power?

We're going 'round, Erin.
Look at this.

Erin: I'll see you
on the other side.

Dick: A lovely, little tower.

JB: Probably original.

Dick: Yeah, it looks good.

OK, that's your overflow
from your guttering.

JB: Yeah.
Dick: A half an inch of rain on

a big roof like that,
we're talking

hundreds of liters, like--

the easiest way
for it to go is--

when it rains, you want
to come and make sure

every one of these
is squirting water.

And if one isn't, then you
need to get a ramrod up

and find out how far it is

before you have a problem.

So, that's a very simple,

quite important check, because

we can be worrying
about it coming

all the way through here.

JB: But if we go--

Dick: But if it's--but if it's

actually coming off your roof

and going straight into
your cellar, that's the point

that needs to be dr--sorted out.
Right.

I think it's worthwhile to go
and have a look at the cellar,

but let's look at
all the drains as well.

JB: OK.
Yeah. Good.

Dick: Cellar and drains.

We know how to have
a good time.

Dick, voice-over: Obviously,
because two men in a boat

is just fun.

Playing in the moat
is all well and good,

but for the whole story,
we need to investigate inside.

At Chateau de Brametourte,
Allison and Paul

have a cocktail concert
planned for the locals

in just over 4 weeks' time,

so, they want to make sure

the chateau looks its best.

Allison: One of the things
we're having to do is

do some of the outside work
at the moment.

[Vehicle beeping]

We've hired
a cherry picker at, uh,

some great expense
for the weekend.

Dick, voice-over: With Paul
away, Allison takes charge

of the ever-expanding
to-do list,

where one of the jobs
involves the shutters.

Allison: We've organized
to have some shutters

put on the windows where
the shutters had actually

deteriorated and disappeared
over time.

Dick, voice-over: A part of
the chateau that needs

a shutter is at the tallest
point of the building,

the pigeonnier.

[Vehicle beeping]

Allison: It's exciting.

And here my legs are wobbly.

Dick, voice-over: These
medieval dovecotes were used

to breed pigeons for the table
of the lord of the manor.

Young pigeons were once seen
as a bit of a delicacy.

[Beeping]

Dick, voice-over: Birds still
nest here, so, Allison wants

to make sure she doesn't
trap any inside

before fitting the shutters.

Allison: The bird is
sitting on the nest,

protecting the nest. Look.

Man: Impossible to open.

Allison: Poor, little thing.

Absolutely traumatized.

OK, let's see if
the pigeon gets out, now.

Come on, pigeon.

[Laughs]

Oh! There it goes.

That nest looks like it's
getting near to hatching,

so, what we've done is
perch the little nest

with the two eggs
on the window ledge,

and we're going to try
and put rocks

around it so it doesn't
get blown away.

Dick, voice-over:
With the pigeon evicted,

the new shutter
can be installed.

At Chateau de Bourneau,
I'm helping new owners

Erin and JB find the source
of their damp problem.

Dick: Even here, yeah,
you can tank this all off.

Dick, voice-over: But tanking
the moat just isn't feasible,

so, we're heading into
the cellar to see if there's

any way of keeping the damp
under control.

JB: The medieval cellar.
Erin: Careful.

Dick: You know, what I'd
love to know is

where the water level is here.

JB: It would be
frightening, I think.

Um, this is where
the water comes in.

The wettest spot.

Dick, voice-over: It looks
like previous owners

have already tried
to sort out the problem.

Dick: Right.
Looking at this,

all they've
done is build a sort of

canal to try and keep
the water flowing through.

If you clear that out,
anything from this wall

they expect to come do--
come through and go

down this direction.

JB: Yeah.
Dick: So...[Chuckles]

They're not trying to stop
the moat getting in.

They've given up
and sort of said, well,

the water will go this way.

JB: OK.
So, we are managing.

Dick: Managing.
Erin: Managing, not solving.

Dick: OK, so, here,

they're saying
this side of the house,

when it runs into here,
it's going to go

down this little canal.

Erin: Mm-hmm.

Dick: Follow me through
to where?

Oh, it's--it going to--
Erin: Turns the corner.

Dick: Comes 'round the corner.
Erin: Yep.

Dick: Comes around to here.

Erin: Mm-hmm.
And then you end up there.

Dick: Right.
This is...a hole.

Erin: Yeah.

JB: Where's it going?

Dick: Well, that's
a very good question.

There must be a channel
underneath here

the water goes down.

JB: Uh.

Dick: You don't put water
in a hole...

Erin: Mm-hmm..
Dick: Without it
going somewhere.

Erin: Yeah.
It doesn't make any sense.

There should be a passage.
Dick: Right.

We'll come back to that.
JB: Right.

Dick: We'll come back to that.
OK.

So, it comes down this way.

Erin: Yep.
All the way through here.

Dick: Now, it must go
from that hole down to here.

Erin: Mm-hmm.
Dick: We're still
going downhill?

JB: Yes. Yes.
Dick: Where do you go to next?

JB: Other side of the wall.

The main cellar.

The future wine cellar.

Dick: The future wine cellar.

Erin: Well, dream on.

[Laughs]

Dick: No.

You have to have
a wine cellar.

It's the law.

Because--the other side
of that wall--Ah! Look!

There's obviously
a sump there.

Erin: Mm-hmm.
Dick: But it must keep coming

down in some direction.
Is this--it doesn't just stop.

JB: Yeah, so it's--
all end up over there

where the sump pump is
at the moment.

Erin: Yeah.

JB: The sump pump room,
we should call it.

Erin: Yes.
Careful.

JB: Yeah, so...
Erin: Wires...things.

Dick: OK.
What I'd like to do is--

you've got a sump pump here.

That means this area here

is the bit where
it's going to,

um, get--you're going
to get rid of it.
JB: Yeah.

Dick: That's a good
starting point for you.

To minimize the damage
you're going to have,

because it's dry.
JB: Right.

Dick: Let's have a look
and see about making sure

the water effectively
gets to here.

JB: That's a good
starting point, isn't it?

Erin: Yep. Mm-hmm.

Dick: Back that way.
Erin: Damage control.

Dick: Yeah...I want to see
the very first hole,

pour some water in it,
and see what happens to it.

Erin: Good idea.

Dick, voice-over: We need
to find out if there's

a clear channel for water
to flow towards the pump room.

Dick: Look at that.

You've got a little
sump there.

So, it comes
underneath there.

Dick, voice-over: But, first,
we have to clean out

the sumps along the way.

They could be blocked
with sediment.

Dick: That'll be a job.

Well, there's
some water flowing.

Ugh.

Dick, voice-over: JB tackles
one side, and I do the other.

Dick: There's something quite
sort of interesting about

putting your hand
in an unknown hole.

[Laughs]

Right. Let me see.

But it's all part of
the game, isn't it?

Dick, voice-over: With the
sumps cleared, we can check

whether or not the drain
between them is clear.

As long as it isn't blocked,
the water should flow

downhill between the two points.

Fingers crossed.

Dick: You've got
a full bucket of water

to pour in there, haven't you?
And we have to see

if we get any movement
in the water here.

Erin: OK.
Dick: All right?

Erin: Right. So, you ready?

Dick: Yeah, let's go.
Erin: OK. Here we go.

Well, that's
the full bucket.

Dick: There's not a single
flush on the top of

that water here.

So, it's going somewhere else
and not reaching here.

That's actually,
in other words,

that's seeping into the ground.

Dick, voice-over: Well, that's
a disappointment, because

if the water was free-flowing
along the drain, it could be

pumped out of the cellar
back into the moat.

But I have a plan B
up my sleeve.

JB: Over there.

Dick, voice-over: At Chateau
des Lys, Tim and Margreeth

have decided to maximize
their income from weddings

by tempting couples
to extend their booking

beyond the big day.

They're offering an outdoor

pre-wedding party and have
a unique selling point.

Tim: The thing we're going
have different is that we're

going to have this whole sort
of vintage Bohemian thing.

Dick, voice-over: Now they
have the opportunity

to sell their new weekend deal
as Antoine and Charissa

have come
to confirm arrangements

for their wedding day.

Tim: Hello. Hi.
Charissa: Good to
finally meet you.

Tim: Yeah.
Nice to meet you as well.

Dick, voice-over:
It's Charissa's first visit.

So, before Tim and Margreeth
show them the Friday night

Boho party in the shed option,

they want to impress the bride

with their chateau.

Margreeth: So, this is
our party area.

So, this is the hall
where you will have

the Saturday evening wedding.

Charissa: Actually, it's a lot
bigger than I imagined,

which is a good thing,
because we've got

a pretty sizable crowd.

So, I was a little bit worried
when you sent me the pictures.

I was like, "I don't know if
we're all going to fit here."

But, I'm sure
it will be amazing.

Dick, voice-over:
So far, so good.

Now for the tricky bit.

Tim: So, it's this way, guys.

Dick, voice-over:
Introducing the proposed venue

for the pre-wedding celebration

with Boho gin bar
and photo booth.

Margreeth: I am a bit nervous
about showing them around,

because we're totally used to
the place and we've got this

big vision of how it's
going to work out.

So, of course, if you see it
for the first time,

you might think,
"Oh, it's just an old shed."

Tim: We're kind of anxious
as to whether we can

persuade them or not.
We'll do our best.

So, guys.

This--this is it.

OK, um, I know it looks like

a rat-infested shed, and it is,

but it's a--this is going to
be, in 4 months' time,

it's going to be wonderful.

It's going to be painted,
repaired, tarted up--

gin bar, seating area, lots of
tables, lights in the trees.

Don't look so worried.
It's going...[Laughs]

Margreeth: Yeah, the way--
yeah, the way we see it is

this is the area
for a really relaxed

Bohemian wedding party.
Antoine: OK.

Margreeth: So, the Friday
evening, everyone here

around a campfire.

We have the old pig sty
where we want

to make a photo booth

to give everyone
a photo opportunity.

Charissa: So, from pig sty
to photo booth?

Margreeth: Exactly!
Tim: That's it.

Margreeth: Yeah, I'm glad
you see that.

[Laughter]

Charissa: I cannot imagine
having to refurbish, redesign,

and basically reconstruct
this whole place.

I mean, it's going to take
a lot of work...

Margreeth: Yeah.
Charissa: Which in 4 months...

Antoine: I think we have to
discuss between each other.

Tim: Take your time.
No pressure.

And, um, do you want
to head back to the house?

Antoine: Yep.

Margreeth:
Let's head back.

Dick, voice-over: If they can
persuade this couple,

then they might just have
a great, new opportunity

to bolster their income.

Margreeth: It's very important
that we get

a positive reaction today
from Antoine and Charissa,

because this is really
what we want to do.

We want to try and sell people
a two- or 3-day wedding,

not just a one-night stay.

If they don't see it,
then maybe

other people won't see it.

Charissa: Ooh.
[Laughs]

Well, taking photos in
a pig sty...that was the one.

When they said that the photo
booth will be converted

from a pig sty...yeah.

That's one for
the imagination.

Tim: So, guys, really, really
lovely meeting you.

So, what do you think?
I mean,

have you gotten
any thoughts on it?

Charissa: Well, yeah.
We see there's a lot of work

to do over the next 4 months

and, especially that it's just
the two of you taking on

that whole project, but you have
such a lovely chateau

and you've done
such a great job here.

I was really impressed.

So, if this is going to be
any reflection of that,

then we're up for it.
Antoine: Yeah.

Charissa: Yeah.
Let's do it.

Margreeth: Wow, great.

Oh, thank you.

That's great news.

Really, really, really good.

We won't let you down.

I promise you.

Tim: It'll be done.

Margreeth: It will be finished
in 4 months' time.

It will be really,
really good.

Dick, voice-over: Result!

They've secured
the extra day's booking

for the gin bar
and outdoor party

and their first chance
to maximize their income

by having a wedding weekend.

Charissa: They obviously
are very passionate about

what they do and what they've
done in the past,

so, let's hope that
they bring the same

energy and determination as they
brought to their chateau

to their shed.

Margreeth: Have a good
journey back

and good luck with
all the preparations.

Charissa: Good luck with
all your preparations.

Margreeth: Thank you very much.
[Laughter]

OK, good-bye, guys.

Tim: Safe journey.
Margreeth: Bye.

Tim: I feel that there's--
there's quite a lot of work

to do here, and the big question
is whether we can

get it done in time
in the 4 months we've got.

And, of course,
we will, won't we?

Margreeth: Yeah,
we'll just work hard.

Tim: Yeah, we'll just
work harder.

Margreeth: When you have
a vision of how

you want it to be...
Tim: Yep.

Margreeth: Then that's
the first step, isn't it?

Tim: Yeah.
Margreeth: I've got a vision

and Tim's got a vision.

They're not actually
the same visions, yet.

[Tim laughs]
Margreeth: But within 4 months,

they will be the same.

Tim: That's right. Yes.

There can only be one,
can't there?

Margreeth: Mine.
My vision.

Dick, voice-over:
Now the real work starts--

transforming a promise
into a magical Boho reality.

At Chateau de Brametourte,

Paul and Allison's maintenance
projects are continuing.

More shutters are being fixed

and repairs to
the roof undertaken.

And with the cocktail concert
only 4 weeks away,

the pressure is on to get
all completed in time.

Friends and volunteers
have come to help them

make the most of the expensive
cherry picker,

even cleaning the roof
of the marquee.

Allison: It is
relentless work.

It's our home, but it's also
our livelihood

and it's our life.

Uhh! Oh, it's too heavy.

Dick, voice-over:
With the chateau still not

self-supporting,
to fund renovations that keep

the place ticking over, both
Paul and Allison still work

at their day jobs as IT
specialist and HR consultant--

something they'd like to stop.

Allison: It doesn't
look quite right.

Paul: We both want
to give up our jobs.

Run the chateau full-time
is the end goal and, so,

this summer's really important
as a stepping stone to that.

Dick, voice-over: Today's
the day of the concert

and the final preparations
are underway.

Paul has come home to discover
that Allison wants to move

the musicians' stage from
the front of the chateau

to the poolside.

Allison: She's going to sing
over there on the stairs.

We just open--
Paul: It's too far away.
You won't hear her.

She hasn't got a good
sound system.

You won't hear it.
It's miles away.

Allison: You'll have to
put it on full volume.

We've had concert here before.
We had flutes

and it was fine.
Paul: It's not going to work.

Allison: And then we've got
extra space--

people sitting on the wall,
if necessary.

Paul: It's not going to work.

Allison: I know you say
it's not going to work,

but I want you to trust me
on this one,

because we have had a concert
without you here before.

And then we've got fridges
there, bar area there...

I really--I really would like
to do it here, darling,

if that's OK, because that was
the whole plan all along.

Dick, voice-over: They do say
you need to pick your battles,

and Paul finally sees
the wisdom of having

the concert near the bar.

But there's another issue
that's come up.

Allison: The French World Cup
game is on at the same time

as this cocktail concert.

So, I'm worried about that
and, also, because I've been

working full-on for the last
few weeks, I haven't done

the amount of advertising
and marketing that

I would normally have done.

I mean, I've had one phone
call this morning about,

"Is it still on?"

[Laughs]

So, something is
obviously amiss there.

So, they can go in the
pool house to keep them clean,

because they've just been
washed, if that's OK.

Woman: OK.

Allison: Do you think cocktail
is OK, 5 euros [indistinct]?

Man: Eh, for what's
in them, yes. Yeah.

Allison: Champagne.

Fred: I'm going to make them
up now, so it just

makes it a bit easier.

Less--less stress, just have
to have a champagne,

so...all right.

So, we're going to do
3 of those...

Dick, voice-over: So, with
the music system in place,

cocktails on ice...

Woman: Not bad.
Woman 2: Gorgeous.

Dick, voice-over:
And the band setting up,

the Chateau de Brametourte
cocktail concert

is declared open.

Now they just have to see
if anyone turns up.

Paul: The big concern is just
what the attendance will go.

I think we can guarantee, like,
20 people, but we're hoping

to get, you know,
60 to 80, total.

That would make it
worthwhile, I think.

If we get the 60,
that would be our benchmark,

so, let's see how it goes.

Allison: Hello!

Oh, it's you guys. Hi.

Woman: Hi.
Allison: How are you?

Woman: We're fine.
And you?

Allison: Alorita,
how are you doing?

Dick, voice-over: But soon,
it's clear their worries

are unfounded.

As the venue fills with music,
the number of cocktail lovers

quickly passes the 20 mark,
with more gathering.

[Allison speaking French]

Woman: Tres bien.
Dick, voice-over:
They think they've even found

a way to make
their cocktails weaker

in case the mayor
turns up to check

they're sticking
to their licensing conditions.

Allison: So, we're just going
to be careful to make sure

that there's plenty of ice
cubes in there, and we've also

got a load of bottles of
water--chilled, ready to go--

that we'll put on the table.

[Speaking French]

[Applause]

[Guitar playing]

Dick, voice-over: And it looks
like they may not be

out of pocket.

Paul: Financially, we've
recovered the costs and had

a lovely evening, which has
not cost us a fortune

and everyone's
enjoyed themselves.

So, it was really good.

[Music continues]

Woman: That was
very, very poetic.

Very nice.
Very good.

So, it was a good time.

Woman 2: It was
actually brilliant. Yep.

Woman 2: Lovely.
Woman 1: Couldn't be any better.

Dick, voice-over: It seems
they've had a winner

of a trial run tonight,

which suggests that

they may have an out-of-season

money spinner on their hands.

Paul: Well, I'm really pleased.

We got our 60 people,
so, that's really great.

The music was fantastic.

I think everyone
really enjoyed it.

The cocktails
went down a treat.

Generally, yeah, fantastic.

Allison: I'm very pleased
with it, so--

Paul: Yes, I think we should
toast to success.

Allison: I think we should.
Paul: Cheers.

Dick, voice-over: I think they
both deserve that cocktail,

because the chateau business
is all about

pushing the boundaries
and taking a risk.

And, in Allison and Paul's
case, it's paid off.

At Chateau de Bourneau,
I'm on a mission

to help Erin and JB find
a way of dealing with

their rising damp.

JB: Uh, this is where
the water comes in.

Dick, voice-over: It seems
we're not the first...

Dick: Ah! Look.

There's obviously
a sump there.

Dick, voice-over: As
previous owners have installed

a system to
drain off the water.

Dick: Ah!
But I have got a hole.

Dick, voice-over: We find
the channel and clear

some of the sumps,
but we've hit a problem.

Dick: There's a pipe that runs
towards the lower sump here.

Dick, voice-over:
One of the pipes is blocked.

Dick: We could
possibly ram it.

JB: Right.
Dick: OK, because there's--

I can feel the pipe--
hole going towards you.

JB: Yeah.
Dick: If you get
out of the way,

and it's in line with
Erin...dum, dum, dum.

And then if we can put a rod
through there, we might just

be able to get
down to the end.

JB: Amazing.

Dick: And that means you can
get everything cleared

down to that point.

It's not going to stop it
coming through the walls.

Erin: But at least
the outflow is sorted.

Dick, voice-over: And luckily,
I've brought along with me

the very thing we need.

Rodding canes.
JB: Brilliant.

Dick: I just brought those
with me, 'cause I thought

we'd have something to prod.

JB: Yeah.
Dick: OK.

What I suggest is,
that one first...

JB: OK.
Dick: Yeah.

Stick it in the hole
and then screw one--

screw one onto it
and let's just see,

one at a time,
see how far we can go.

JB: OK.
Erin: Right?

JB: Right.

Dick: See, you get
the end in--in the hole.

Can you push it through?

JB: Yeah.
I think that's it.

Dick: Ah, well, I never.

Erin: Mm.

Dick: What I'm going
to do...you--

you just keep feeding into it.

If it sticks, twist it and pull.
Twist it and pull.

JB: OK.
Dick: Because that'll actually

probably catch anything
if there's

anything horrible in there.
Yeah?

JB: OK.
Dick: I'm going to go

see what we're doing
on this side, OK?

Dick, voice-over:
I go through to the other side

to see if anything is happening.

Dick: Stop!
I'll put my hand in.

See if your rod is here.

JB: Yeah, I can feel it.
Erin: Oh, great.

Dick: Yeah, stop.
You're actually

in the second hole, now.

JB: Ah!

Dick: Twist it and pull.

Twist and pull back
about 6 inches.

Who's got
the longest arms?

Erin: JB.
JB: Ah, come on.

[Erin laughs]
Dick: Right.

Erin, you're in charge
of the rods, darling.

Erin: Right. OK.
Dick: Um, come in here.

Put your hand in the hole.

Um, and, uh, take--you can
feel the rod there.

Feel the rod?

JB: Yeah.
I got it.
Ah, OK, yeah.

Dick: Just pull it towards you
about sort of, um,

6, 8 inches, Erin.

Erin: OK.

Dick: Have you got the end
of the rod, now?

JB: Yeah, I've got the grip.
Yeah.

Dick: Do you feel the hole?
JB: I can.

Erin: You see,
that's the thing.

Owning a chateau is not
that glamorous, too.

[Laughs]

But, actually, this--this is
the kind of stuff that's fun.

Dick, voice-over:
A lady after my own heart.

Even with his long arms,
JB can't get the rod

down the pipe, either.

I think it might take water
jetting to shift the blockage.

But there's something else
we should check.

Dick: What I'd love to do
is empty the sump and to see

what else we can see
from this side.

JB: OK.

Dick, voice-over: So, it's
over to Erin in her Wellies

to try and start the pump.

Erin: All right.
Let's wade in.

Hopefully, it doesn't--
though it's sinked up

to my middle, isn't it?

Dick: You want the whole
pump vertical.

No, the--the pump.
Yeah, like that.

'Cause it's the bottom
of the pump where

it gets sucked in, isn't it?

Erin: Yeah.

Dick: JB, go and turn it on
and we'll

hear the hum starting, correct?

JB: OK.

[Pump humming]

Dick: There you go.
We're pumping.

Erin: Lovely!

Dick, voice-over:
As the water level goes down,

we have a find.

Dick: Ooh!
What's that?

Erin: What is that?

JB: It's not a coin.

[Laughter]
Dick: Oh...yeah,

but the excitement.
Erin: I thought
we had treasure.

JB: It's a lid of some sort.
Dick: Give it a rinse.
Give it a rinse.

Everyone with a chateau's
got the possibility of

finding treasure.

All right?

And, uh, that's plastic.

That's OK.
[Laughter]

If you can take
the surface water,

bring it to here,
and pump it out,

you're in the situation
where, um,

it's going to be
less humid down here.

But, unfortunately,
it's a fairly big job.

Yeah.

But, having said that,
what do you expect

when you've actually got half of
your chateau below the water?

Erin: Well, exactly.

Dick, voice-over: We've got
as far as we can today,

but I do have some constructive
advice for Erin and JB.

Dick: You're not going
to fight your moat

coming into your cellar.
JB: No.

Dick: We're going to have
to find a way of minimizing

the effect of it.

And when we minimize the
effect of it, then you can

start dealing with it
coming through your walls.

And coming through your walls
isn't helped by the fact that

people have put cement on it.

Non-porous, non-breathing,
which means the only way

for the moisture to go is up.

You could tackle that
with a ventilation system.

We put in a moisture-
extraction system.

They're all over the place.
Cheap as chips.

JB: Yeah.
Dick: Actually, yeah.

Dick, voice-over: So,
I couldn't solve the problem

today, but hopefully,
I'm leaving them with some

potential solutions
to their damp problem.

Dick: Sweetheart,
thank you very much for

looking after me.
Erin: Thank you so much.

JB: Thank you so much
for your help again.

Dick: ...get back and get dirty.
[Erin laughs]

Listen up, call me back
when the cellar's

full of wine, all right?
[JB laughs]

Erin: Oh, yeah.
We will do that.

Dick: Take care.
Erin: Thank you so much.

Bye-bye.
JB: Bye.

Dick, voice-over: It's been
brilliant to visit

another moated chateau like ours

and share our experiences.

At Chateau des Lys,
Tim and Margreeth

have successfully convinced
new clients

to extend their wedding
into a two-day event

that includes
a Boho chic party

in what is currently
a rundown shed.

Tim: In 4 months' time,
it's going to be wonderful.

It's going to be painted,
repaired, tarted up...

Dick, voice-over: Stage one
is the big clear-out,

and 10-year-old Joe is helping.

Margreeth: So, this is
the end bit of the shed

and it used to be a pig sty,
and, uh,

we would transform this
into a photo booth,

but, as you can see,
it's totally full of stuff,

so, we have
to empty it out.

So, that's what we're
focusing on first.

Tim: Anything burnable, we'll
put it by the fire circle.

Margreeth: Yep.

Tim: The windows
are in good nick.

The spiders are very happy.

I think most of the walls,
provided they're anchored

properly on the outside,
I think it's going to be OK.

Margreeth: I think it's a
century of chicken poo here.

Joe: Aw, yuck.
Margreeth: Ha ha!

Dick, voice-over: All part of
the charm of chateau living.

Tim: That's a real hay,
uh, hay fork.

Amazing.
All it needs is a handle.

Well, hey!
Nothing else fell down.

Ha! Result.

This is beginning to look
like a photo booth.

Joe: That looks so much nicer.

Tim: It does, doesn't it?

Margreeth: Oh, it's great.
I love the ironwork.

Tim: Yeah.
Me, too.

It's old.
I mean, look at that bottom bit.

There's all sort of that
layers of rust there.

Margreeth: And, look,
they're hearts.

Tim: Yeah.
Margreeth: They're heart shapes.

It's perfect for
a wedding theme.

Dick, voice-over:
Under the junk, Tim's found

a useful implement.

Tim: * One man went to
mow...went to mow a meadow *

OK, one man went to mow
a meadow with

one of those, I reckon.

Or a tractor.

Dick, voice-over: And there's
more treasure to uncover.

Margreeth: That is
an amazing door, Tim.

Tim: Uh, it's actually...
Margreeth: I love it.

Tim: Yeah, and I've got
a feeling that we're--

there's quite a few doors
missing in the chateau

that we're looking for,
and that might be one of them.

Margreeth: Yes.
Oh, yeah.

Man, it's so fantastic.

Tim: Oh, it's
lovely, isn't it?

Margreeth: It's so gorgeous.
Tim: It is lovely, isn't it?

That's an original
chateau door, I think.

Super.
That's a project, isn't it?
Another project.

We haven't got enough,
have we, really?

Margreeth: And no,
I think it's amazing that

the glass is totally intact.
Tim: Yes. Yes.

Margreeth: It's really good.

Dick, voice-over: That's just
the sort of find

my Angel would lovingly restore.

Margreeth: We often find
glass or tiles or stones.

So, when you finally get
around to having a look at

one of these areas, you normally
have a nice surprise,

which is great.

Dick, voice-over:
After a hard day's labor,

the shed is cleared
and ready for them to create

their Boho gin bar
and photo booth.

Tim: Here's to the shed.

It's gone to me head.

Nothing but trouble.

We've got some bubbles.

To you.

Margreeth: And you.
Tim: And la grange.

Margreeth: Ha ha.
To sheds.

Tim: The shed.
Margreeth: And a good
day's work.

Tim: Yeah.
Good day's work. Cheers.

Margreeth: Well done, you.
Tim: Cheers, Joe.

Margreeth: It's been
a really good day.

Tim: It's been
lovely, hasn't it?

Margreeth: Yeah.
And this is

a really nice ending

to a really productive day.

Tim: Cheers.
[Glasses clink]

Dick, voice-over: Next time...
JB: Is it lifting?

Dick, voice-over:
Erin and JB's chateau plans

become unhinged.

JB: It's off.
Man: And down.

JB: It's not...it's not...
Man: [Indistinct].

Dick, voice-over: There's
light at the end of the tunnel

for Tim and Margreeth's
gin bar.

Tim: It's going to be
good, isn't it?

Margreeth: So amazing.
Tim: Mwah!

Margreeth: Oh, well done.

Dick, voice-over: And I try
to get things moving

on our
vintage van [indistinct].

Dorothy: Why does it not do
a beep-beep?

Dick: Doesn't do
very much, darling.