Escape to the Chateau DIY (2018–2021): Season 1, Episode 14 - The Pethericks 4 - full transcript
This is me, Dick Strawbridge,
my wife Angel,
and our two children
in our glorious French chateau.
We haven't ever regretted
what we've done.
It is so worth it.
We moved here 3 years ago
to follow our dream
of living life in our very
own castle.
Angel: Ha ha! Oh, my God.
Dick, voice-over:
But it's not been easy...
I think I'm a bit too old
for this.
as dozens of other Brits know
only too well.
Man: Oops. The floor needs
replacing as well. Ha ha!
Dick: Because, it turns out,
we're not the only expats
who have bought
a French chateau.
Karen: Wow! Absolutely love it.
Man: 25-year-old Bordeaux!
Motherlode!
Dick, voice-over:
In this series,
we'll reveal how we're running
our chateau as a business...
Dick: There's not a thing
about making sausage
that I don't find humorous.
Abbie: I'm still finding things
that I haven't seen.
Dick: and see how these daring
Brits are running theirs.
Angel: Here's to the meeting
of two like-minded couples...
Man: Cheers.
Angel: Cheers.
Dick, voice-over:
...as they face the ups...
Woman: It's really beautiful.
Man: This is a rare moment,
but I am genuinely at peace.
Dick: and downs.
Man: Um, it's a lot worse
than it looks.
Dick: of the new lives
in these crumbling
and magnificent buildings.
Michael: It is a bit fantasy
living in a French chateau.
We might have a few problems
on the way,
but that's part of life,
isn't it? Ha ha!
Dick, voice-over:
Today I receive an S.O.S.
from some chateau neighbors...
Dick: How we doing?
Lovely to meet you
and wind up with a serious
challenge on my hands.
Are you ready?
Billy: This isn't gonna work,
is it?
Dick: Out in the woods,
the hunt is on for some unwanted
visitors.
Billy: You really got to keep
away from them because they're
quite dangerous.
Dick: The heat is on
for one chateau owner...
Paul: I don't think I could be
hotter.
Dick: while the pressure is
on another
to keep up with his
rivals.
Clive: There's a lot of
competition out there.
We're right in the middle
of some of France's top
restaurants.
Dick: Chateau de la Baismagnée
in the Pays de la Loire
was bought just six months ago
by Brit builder Billy
and his French fiancee
Gwendoline.
Billy: Why did buy
a chateau, Gwendoline?
Because we're mad, as well,
aren't we?
Gwendoline: Yeah, maybe we're
a bit mad.
Billy: Yeah, we fell in love
with it, didn't we?
Gwendoline: We did.
Dick: With help from Billy's
older brother Michael,
this couple are working hard
to restore it
and turn it into an upmarket
bed and breakfast
and wedding venue.
Michael: It's up to us to sort
of, you know, our generation
to sort of take on places
like this
and have an interest
in restoring them and, you know,
protecting them for the future.
Dick: And they've already had
one set of paying customers,
a hen party, who spent a long
weekend at the guesthouse.
[Women speaking French]
[Cheering]
Dick: Their chateau is just
30 miles from ours,
in northwest France.
So when Billy asked for some
help with something,
I was only too pleased to make
the short trip.
Billy's been in touch. He
wants a hand with his lighting.
In theory, that's nice and easy.
I've got an electrical
engineering background.
That's OK. But it's a chateau.
Ha ha!
The cables are never where you
want them.
You have to put them
somewhere else.
And getting from A to B is
difficult,
never mind the height of
the ceiling.
So, um, it's a challenge.
He hasn't told me what type of
lighting he needs help with.
Something tells me there's
a reason
he didn't divulge that
information.
Here we go. How lovely.
That is actually very special.
Angela will like the gates.
It's hard to believe
this place is owned
by a couple in their 20s.
Dick: How are we doing?
Lovely to meet you.
Gwendoline: Nice meeting you.
Billy: Hello.
Lovely to meet you. I'm Billy.
Dick: Good to see you.
It's huge.
But because of the stone,
it looks in really good nick.
Billy: Yeah, we're quite lucky
in that.
It's really, really solid,
isn't it?
Gwendoline: Yeah.
Dick: You have got a project
of epic proportions, yeah?
How far are you getting?
How far are you inside?
Billy: Ground floor looks
all right.
It looks really nice inside
and clean.
Dick: The roof?
Billy: Yeah, not too bad.
Gwendoline: There was a few
leaks when we got here.
Billy: I've done a few, but...
Dick: What do
you mean, "I've done a few"?
Billy: I've done a few. Ha ha!
I got up there.
Dick: How did you get up there?
Do you go up with roof ladder
at the little windows
and things?
Billy: No, I'm lucky.
I've got a cherry picker. Ha ha.
Dick: Sorry. "I've got
a cherry picker"?
Dick, voice-over:
OK, now I'm jealous.
Dick: Where did you get
a cherry picker from?
Billy: We got it nicely,
didn't we? Quite.
Gwendoline: Yeah,
just secondhand.
Billy: Yeah, it's a bit old...
Gwendoline: Probably third-hand.
Billy: and a bit rusty,
but it does the job.
Dick, voice-over: Billy
just became my new best friend.
Next time I need
a cherry picker,
I know exactly who to call.
Are you guarding the house?
Gwendoline: He is.
Dick: I'm scared of dogs.
No, I'm not.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
This is done.
This place is done up.
You have this from family?
Billy: No.
These are just paintings that we
sort of saw
and managed to source quite
cheaply.
Dick: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa.
Go and stand over by
that picture. Go on.
Please step over there.
The hands--look at the hands.
He does the hands automatically.
Gwendoline and Billy: Yeah.
Gwendoline: Yeah, that could be
your great nan.
Dick: Great-great-great nan.
Gwendoline: Yeah, possibly.
Possibly. Maybe.
Billy: It's the bloodline.
I can see it.
Billy: Ha ha!
Dick: Considering they've only
been here four months,
this place is in pretty good
nick.
Not only has Billy patched up
the leaking roof,
mended the chimney, and fitted
in a new kitchen,
it's also been
freshly decorated.
Dick: Electricity.
Gwendoline and Billy: Yes.
Dick: Sockets, I assume.
Billy: Absolutely.
Dick: Next thing the two of you
will tell me,
you've got broadband.
Billy: Ha ha! We have.
Dick: You what?!
Dick, voice-over: And they've
clearly inherited
some stunning period features.
Dick: That fireplace is
phenomenal.
Gwendoline: It is.
It's very grand, isn't it?
Billy: It is brilliant.
Dick: That is very, very
special.
You do seem to have a lot of
collections of things that fit
in the chateau.
Billy: Yeah, yeah.
We've been collecting furniture
for about three years now.
Gwendoline: Yeah.
Billy: We wanted a project
like this, but not as big.
[Dick laughing]
Billy: But somehow we were
buying the furniture,
and we had so much, and then we
saw this place,
and we just fell in love
with it.
Gwendoline: Yeah.
Dick: The size of this place...
is phenomenal.
And everywhere I look,
I think I'm seeing chandeliers.
Gwendoline: Yes, you are.
Billy: There is a bit of a theme
going on there, isn't there?
Gwendoline: Yeah.
Dick: A bit of a theme.
You can't move for chandeliers
in this place.
Dick: How many?
That's one hanging down.
There's another one over there.
In this room, well, one, two.
You got a spare there.
One, two, three, four, five.
You got five chandeliers in
this room alone.
What's it like living with a man
with a sort
of a chandelier fetish?
Gwendoline: Well, it's good
because you get
nice chandeliers everywhere,
but then, uh, well,
it's expensive.
It's an expensive hobby.
Dick: Every room downstairs
that you want to have
a chandelier's got one?
And you've got spares.
Billy: Not at the moment.
That's why you're here.
Dick: I knew you said "lights,"
but I haven't seen
a single space for a chandelier.
Billy: On the staircase. Ha ha!
Dick, sarcastically:
Oh, that's real easy.
Dick, voice-over: No wonder
he never mentioned
the chandelier on the phone.
This is going to be a bit harder
than screwing in a light bulb.
It looks quite substantial.
It's not gonna be light.
Billy: Yeah, it probably weighs,
like, the same as
a bag of cement or something.
Dick, voice-over: That's about
20 kilos of chandelier.
This should be fun.
Did you ever see the "Only
Fools and Horses" sketch?
Billy: I have, yeah.
I've been practicing
my lines. Ha ha!
Billy: Come on, Grandad.
Dick: Oh! Oh.
Now you're really looking
for trouble. Yeah.
The abuse has only just started.
Dick, voice-over:
But, seriously, I think I've got
a job on my hands here.
120 miles south,
Chateau le Perriere is
the twin-towered pride and joy
of designers
Paul and Karen Horne...
Paul: That is
the plasterer's mount.
Dick: who've spent the last 12
years renovating it
in hope of turning it into
a profitable business.
Karen: We came here, and we both
fell in love with it.
It is a place to dream,
and it's a place
where you are building memories.
Dick: The chateau sits deep in
the heart of the picturesque
Loire Valley.
But since they've been here,
Paul and Karen have seen
their renovation costs spiral.
Paul: And le Perriere is a bit
of a fruit machine really,
isn't it?
The money goes in at the top,
but it doesn't come out
the bottom.
One day it'll come out
the bottom as well.
You never know.
Dick: It's rented out
as a luxury holiday home
for the bulk of the year.
But in the Loire Valley,
competition between holiday
homes is particularly fierce.
Their new scheme to appeal to
wealthy guests
is transforming this old water
tower into a luxury office.
Paul: The view is just
fantastic.
There could be worse places
to work.
Karen: It's nice to be able to
offer to guests
the ability to be able to come
on holiday with their family
but still be able to have
a professional working
environment.
Dick: The Hornes are only
visiting the chateau
for a few days to continue
the renovation.
Before they leave,
Karen also has a project
she'd like to finish.
And an original feature
preserved
in one of the chateau's
other bedrooms
has given her the perfect
inspiration.
Karen: So we've got an original
Toile de Jouy
fabric wall covering that was
here when the chateau
was originally built.
I'm looking to use this
technique
in the bedroom downstairs.
I'm using our chateau as
the main scene
on the wall covering.
Dick: Karen wants to make her
traditional wall cloth
from scratch.
This morning, she's hoping to
source the fabric
from the antiques market in
nearby Chinon.
Paul: Have some burgundy chairs
on the left.
This is actually--oh, that's
a nice chair, actually.
What do you think?
Karen: Do you think he does
delivery?
Paul: That's a great size for
the bedroom.
Daughter: Oh, that's not nice.
Dick: Karen tries to barter
for some fabric she's found...
[Conversation in French]
Dick: and fails miserably.
Karen: I tried. I tried. I'm
gonna buy it anyway.
Merci.
She wasn't having any of it.
Paul: See if you do better on
the next one, then.
Karen: Oh, and I bought some--
look at that--trim.
You're not excited, are you?
Paul: I'm not a fabric man.
You know that.
Karen: No, no.
Paul: But I like the result,
but I'm not a fabric man.
Karen: That's a bit like talking
bikes to me, really, isn't it?
Paul: It is. Oh, is there
a bike shop?
Karen: No.
Paul and Karen: OK.
Dick: But a few minutes later,
Karen thinks she's found
an even better piece of fabric.
Karen: It'd be beautiful for
printing on.
But it is 30 euros, so it's
quite expensive, I feel.
Paul: Right.
[Paul and Karen speaking French]
Karen and vendor: Oui. Oui.
[Vendor speaking French]
Karen: Parfait. Perfect. Lovely.
Dick: Karen's bought three
meters of 200-year-old fabric
for just over £17,
£10 off the asking price.
Karen: I'm really happy
with that.
Paul: Merci, monsieur.
C'est bon.
Karen: I got a bargain.
[Paul speaking French]
Karen: Merci, merci.
Dick: Back at the chateau,
Paul's facing a big problem
with the stonework supporting
the water tower.
It's crumbling and must be
patched up before any other work
can take place.
Paul: We've got to use
a lime render,
which is a specific kind of
render that you've got to use
with the 2/3 stone.
Otherwise it dissolves
the stone.
Dick: Tomorrow, scaffolding is
going up over the entire tower,
so work on the office can begin.
Paul: And we've got the platform
being built,
so I've got to finish it today.
So we've got about three hours
to learn how to do it
and do it.
We have ordered in specifically
some lime mortar.
And what I was hoping, which is
really kind of silly, bearing
my move to France, is that
the instructions
would be in English and French.
I'm not quite sure why I thought
that because if we bought
it in England, they wouldn't be.
Dick: To finish the office
by the end of the summer,
there's not a day to spare.
And the family needs to be out
of the chateau tomorrow
as their next guests
are arriving.
So the pressure's on for Paul.
I've come 30 miles down the road
to Chateau de la Baismagnée
to see Billy and Gwen.
They've asked me to help hang
a 20-kilo chandelier
above the staircase.
Billy: Right. So this is where
I want it.
Dick: Of course it is.
Billy: Right up there.
Dick: So it's gonna be
quite high.
Um, what's above this?
Billy: There is
an empty bedroom.
Dick: I think we're gonna have
to go and have a look at
the floorboards in there.
Dick, voice-over: On the plus
side, a light fitting
has been hung from this point
before.
But when it was last used is
anyone's guess.
You got cable there, electrics,
so there's a route up there.
There's access.
There must be a way of coming
from the top down.
Dick, voice-over: I just hope
we don't rip half
the ceiling down in the process.
Dick: One very important
thing is, are you sure you want
the big chandelier
up there?
Billy: Definitely, yes.
Gwendoline: Yes.
Dick: OK, had to ask.
It was worth asking. Heh!
[Billy and Gwendoline chuckling]
Dick: I'm too old for this.
Fortunately, I've got some tools
outside in the car that
should make our life easier.
That's the hardest light to fix
in the chateau,
is the chandelier on
the highest point.
It's actually quite physical
just to take
a 20-kilogram chandelier
and stick it that high.
It's gonna take a bit of work,
so I've brought some pulleys
and things.
We'll see. We'll see.
Dick, voice-over: Our plan is to
go up into the empty bedroom
above the staircase...
Dick: Reminds me of home.
Dick, voice-over: and look for
the point in the floor
that the old light fitting
was hung from.
Dick: The center of the room
is obvious. This way, OK?
Then we look down. There's been
some cutting done.
And the cutting was neatly done.
Billy: Yup.
Dick: Yeah, it's not
a bad job at all.
And we're gonna go in
and see what we can find.
With a bit of luck, underneath
here, there will be
a chandelier hook,
a big solid construction
on a beam that allows you to
hook your chandelier on it.
Billy: Yeah.
Dick: All right.
Dick, voice-over:
We're in luck.
Not only do we have a hole,
but the old fitting
is still wired up
to the mains.
Dick: Make sure this is off.
Billy: Yup.
Dick: It should be off.
We'll just test it.
Billy: Yeah, I'll go
and isolate it.
Dick: Right. As long as
it's not on,
we'll put our cable
through there,
which is our
chandelier-supporting cable.
We'll attach the chandelier,
and then we'll get
the chandelier upstairs.
Billy: Yup.
Dick: This is actually better
than I thought.
Dick, voice-over: The cable I've
got with me can take 95 kilos,
so it should be more than enough
to take the strain
of Billy's chandelier.
Dick: Shall we use this?
Through the hole. Up and down.
Pull it.
Let's have a vote on the plan.
The dog agrees with me,
so that's how it's done.
It'll work. You happy with that?
Billy: Definitely, yeah.
Perfect.
Dick: I'll be using a small hand
winch supported by this trestle
to winch the chandelier up
into position.
OK, that's coming up.
Billy: Yeah.
Dick, voice-over: The only
problem we've got is that
an old light bulb is still
attached to the wiring.
Dick: This is the bulb.
Dick, voice-over: The hole is
too small to pull it through
and disconnect it.
So I'm simply going to have
to snip it off,
and Billy will have to
catch it downstairs.
What could possibly go wrong?
Dick: Are you ready?
Billy: This isn't gonna work,
is it?
Dick: Billy!
Billy: I can see it landing
on my face somehow.
Dick: Billy! Billy?
Billy: I'm never gonna
catch this.
Dick: One, two, three.
I hope Billy's a good catch.
35 miles west of Dijon,
L'Abbaye de la Bussière
is a former Roman Catholic
abbey turned luxury hotel.
It's owned by English couple
Clive and Tanith Cummings.
They're running it as a high-end
hotel.
And this year, they've been
working hard
to get more locals dining
in their restaurant.
Clive: We do put a lot of
pressure on ourselves at times.
Sometimes, you know, you think,
Am I pushing too hard?
But you've got to keep that
momentum going
in all departments.
[Chef saying indistinct
commands]
Dick: The abbey's
Michelin-starred restaurant
is run by Head Chef Guillaume.
Clive: He's a local man.
He's had experience
from one-, two-, and
three-Michelin star restaurants.
And he wants to make a name for
himself now and his own menu.
Dick: Today Guillaume and Clive
are looking at ways
they can freshen up
the dinner menu.
Clive: We're in the heart of
Burgundy.
And Burgundy is very famous in
France for being
the heart of gastronomy.
So there's a lot of competition
out there.
We're right in the middle of
some of France's
top restaurants--
two Michelin stars,
three Michelin stars.
Although we've got the building
and we got the gardens,
you can't just sit back on that.
You've got to ensure that you've
got something else to sell.
Dick: Guillaume's got a plan to
make his menu stand out
from the crowd.
Clive: Rather than just having
a normal menu,
we're trying to highlight
very local ingredients.
Dick: In fact, Guillaume wants
as many of his ingredients as
possible to be sourced
right here at the abbey.
Clive: What we would like to do
is to make one dish
served at lunch and then one
at dinner
where 100% of that dish is grown
here on site.
Dick: Tonight Guillaume's
invited
two of his regular diners to
come and sample
some of his brand-new dishes,
but he's not entirely sure
what's currently growing, so he
and Clive have come to see
gardener Raphael.
Clive: We're doing courgettes
here, Raph?
Raphael: Courgettes here, the
courgettes is here, little bit.
Clive: With beans?
Raphael: Yeah, beans.
Clive: We got beans, and we got
carrots as well.
We got absolutely bucket loads
of mint, radishes as well.
Dick: Raphael also keeps bees.
These three hives produce about
100 kilos of honey a year
for the restaurant.
And Clive's spotted something
else on the grounds, too.
Clive: I was cutting the grass
only last week,
and I noticed that under one of
my trees, I've got
lots of wild strawberries.
Look at this. Look.
All the strawberries,
look at them all.
Dick: These wild strawberries,
together with a handful
of wild herbs from the garden...
Dick: are going straight back
to the kitchen.
All Guillaume has to do now is
come up with a new dish.
I've been at Chateau
de la Baismagnée
helping Billy and Gwen hang
a chandelier.
One, two, three.
Dick, voice-over: But when I
dropped the bulb,
I wasn't entirely sure if
Billy was ready.
Billy: Oi. Caught it. Ha ha.
Dick: I have no idea what
happened!
I have no idea what happened.
Did you catch it?
Billy: I did.
Dick: What a smarty pants.
Well done, matey.
Billy: Ha ha. All right, then.
Dick: Success at
the first stage.
All we have to do
now is attach the chandelier
and hoist it into position.
It's a long way.
Gwendoline: Makes me a bit
nervous because, well,
if it falls, it breaks.
And it's not exactly as if we
could go to the shop
and buy another one,
is it? So...
Dick, voice-over:
I've run a cable
through the hole
in the ceiling
30 feet down to
the waiting chandelier.
Dick: OK...
Dick, voice-over: To minimize
the distance I have to winch
this thing up, we're bringing
it up to the first landing.
Dick: Now, this is a bit silly.
Billy: Ha ha!
Dick: Who ever heard of taking
a trolley
with a chandelier up a stair?
[Billy chuckles]
Billy: Perfect.
Dick and Billy: Yeah.
Dick: You are going to guide it
down when the tension's on.
Gwendoline, you are actually
communications.
So if we need to stop,
you have to shout.
Because if not, we'll just keep
going, and it'll all break,
and it'll all be your fault.
Gwendoline: All right.
No pressure.
Dick: Ha ha!
All I have to do is go upstairs
and turn a handle.
Ha ha. Good luck, team.
Billy: Thanks.
Dick: Go for it.
Dick, voice-over:
With Gwendoline at the window,
there's now a direct line of
communication
between Billy and I.
Dick: How are we doing?
Billy and Gwendoline: Good.
Dick: Tell me when to start.
Gwendoline: Keep going.
Keep going.
Dick: But I'm still
working pretty much blind.
This isn't nice.
I have no idea what's going on,
but I can feel
the weight of the chandelier
or the chandelier and Billy.
I have no idea.
Billy: He's got
the weight of it now.
Dick: That's the cable
come through.
Billy: Right.
Dick:
That's your lowest position.
Billy: Yup, so up higher.
Dick: Say again?
Billy: Yeah, higher.
Dick: Higher? How much higher?
Billy: Um, about a meter.
Dick: About a meter.
Billy and Gwendoline: Yes.
Dick: I'll get this up first.
Billy: That's perfect, I think.
Gwendoline: Perfect!
Dick: I heard "perfect."
You sure?
Billy: That's perfect.
Say "It's good."
Gwendoline: That's good!
Dick: Brilliant!
Dick, voice-over: All I have to
do now is
connect it to the mains.
Gwendoline: It looks good
from here. It looks beautiful.
I can't wait to see it.
Billy: Lit up.
Gwendoline: Like, yeah, lit up.
Dick, voice-over:
After all that,
I just hope the thing works.
Dick: I give you the biggest
chandelier
in the worst place in your
chateau.
Gwendoline: Whoo!
Billy: Yay!
Dick: Hey, I got to tell you,
nice soft light.
Lots of nice soft light.
Billy: It is, yeah.
Dick: Well, I'm ready.
Billy: Thanks a lot.
Dick: How many more have you got
to hang up?
You've got all the bedrooms to
do, haven't you?
Billy: They're easy.
Dick: How many bedrooms?
Billy: Uh, 20.
Dick: 19 more to buy?!
Oh, how happy is Billy? Ha ha!
I'm busy just so you know.
Dick, voice-over:
I'm only kidding.
If he lets me borrow his
cherry picker...
Gwendoline: Thank you so much.
Dick, voice-over: I'll consider
giving him a hand with the rest.
Gwendoline: Oh, it's amazing.
It finally looks as it
should look. I love it.
You've done a very good job
there, darling.
Billy: You're welcome.
Dick: Back in the Loire Valley,
at Chateau le Perriere,
novice builder Paul has just
a day to finish work
on the chateau's water tower.
He's hoping to repair
the crumbling stonework
with a traditional
lime mortar mix.
But some of the ingredients
are rather dangerous.
Paul: The lime is an acid,
so I think it settles down once
you've mixed it,
but while you're mixing it,
it becomes quite a toxic acid,
although what I am seeing is
also the amount
of protective headgear
and glasses and gloves.
Judging from that, we might need
to tog up a little bit more
than if we were doing
a bit of cement mix.
Dick: To stay safe, Paul's
decided to wear
full protective gear,
including a respirator.
Paul: I think it's probably
a sensible thing to do.
Dick: But, unfortunately,
for him,
it's the hottest day
of the year.
Paul: I'm really glad we chose
a 30-degree afternoon
to do it in.
It has to be done. I'm just
gonna have to get on.
It really is a boiler suit
today.
Dick: He's got no choice but to
use this lime mixture
as modern cement will damage
the water tower's delicate,
soft stonework.
Paul: It's early days,
but so far, so good.
We haven't gotten any big
globules of mortar or anything,
so the mixing's going
quite well.
And I got 20 minutes to watch it
all go round for a while,
or we can go and do some actual
proper work
and go and get the renderer.
And then I can take this mask
off, as well,
which is very, very hot.
Dick: Paul chips away
the old crumbling render,
ready for his new coat.
Paul: We're gonna try and neaten
off all this render
and make it look like
a really nice Loire stone.
It's typical of
the Loire Valley, really.
Well, when it's done properly,
it's typical of
the Loire Valley.
We'll see what it's like when
I've finished it.
Hopefully, mine won't come off
quite as easily
when I've done it.
Inside, Paul's wife, Karen,
is making progress
with her plan to add a layer
of luxury
to the chateau's
master bedroom...
[Press squeaks]
Karen: Love that sound. Heh!
Dick: and putting her recently
acquired screen-printing skills
to the test.
Karen: Wow.
We're printing
a Toile de Jouy fabric,
the Chateau le Perriere version,
onto the brocante fabric
that we've bought.
Dick: If all goes to plan,
this printed cloth
will be used to cover
the master bedroom wall
in the classic 19th-century
style.
Karen: So the pictures on
the fabric are
all the things we love about
chateau,
the towerettes, the sign
at the beginning of the road,
and the butterflies.
Daughter: Lift?
And how does it look?
Karen: It looks fabulous.
Dick: As Karen immortalizes
the chateau, back outside,
Paul's not faring quite so well.
Paul: Ah. Never had so much dust
and grime.
The hottest day of the year
so far.
I think it's going up
to 33 degrees.
And I don't like being
the poor little lad.
So let's get cracking.
Dick: Paul's stonework repair
is vital
if work on the new office is
to stay on schedule.
Paul: The moment of truth.
Let's see how we get on.
The first bit's going to be
the interesting bit.
Have we got it right?
Dick: The mortar's not
falling off the wall,
but the soaring temperature is
causing another problem.
Paul: It's supposed to have
cooled down by now,
which would help
to keep my render
at the same consistency
at the end as it is now.
It must be what, half past 6:00,
and it's still incredibly hot.
I think on one of the hottest
I've ever been.
Dick: Paul needs to wrap this
job up soon
before the mortar dries out
or he collapses from the heat.
[Paul exhales]
Paul: It's hot.
I'm expiring here.
I don't think I
could be hotter.
Dick: 150 miles north at
Chateau de la Baismagnée,
Billy, Gwendoline, and Michael
have spent the past six months
making the chateau livable
and getting the heating up
and running.
But they've just discovered
the neighbors are
unhappy about something.
Billy: The farmers are all
complaining, locally,
because the wild boar are
destroying their crops.
Unfortunately, we've got
a large plot of land here,
and we're probably responsible
to not have them
in the forest, you know?
Dick: Wild boar have become
a menace in France
over the past decade.
They cause about £45 million
worth of damage
to farmers' crops every year.
And if they've taken up
residence in the woods here,
it's little wonder the
neighboring farmers are worried.
Michael: The forest
is completely surrounded by
farmland, and that is where they
live, we think, in the forest.
So we need to find out if
they're in the forest.
And, right, if we can find out
they're there,
maybe we can do something
about it.
Dick: The ultimate plan will be
to drive the boar
back into the larger forest of
Mayenne,
five miles away and far from
the farmers' crops.
But wild boar are incredibly
shy creatures.
And because they're largely
nocturnal,
neither Billy, Gwen, nor Michael
have actually seen one here.
Michael: Missy's getting
excited. Ha ha!
Billy: Put her there a minute,
and then she will take
the steering wheel.
[Michael laughs]
Dick: In a bid to see if there
are any boar on their land,
Billy set up a motion sensor
camera two days ago,
and now he's off to collect it.
Billy: Here we are. This is
where I put the camera.
Michael: Oh, brilliant.
All right. Let's have a look.
Dick: If wild boar have been
roaming around
this part of the woods,
they should have set it off.
Michael: All right. Let's go and
see if there's any footage
on this thing.
Billy: All right, then.
Michael: Well, there's quite
a lot of videos. Ooh!
What are they? Are they horses?
Dick: Either those are
very big boar,
or Billy's horses have escaped.
Billy: Let me just see if our
horses are still there.
Michael: It seems that, uh,
our horses that were
in the field, or meant to be
in the field,
were in the forest last night.
Billy: Yeah, the horses are
still there,
so they must have escaped
last night
and sort of done a bit of
wandering in the night.
Well, that's very interesting,
isn't it?
What horses get up to
when you're not looking! Ha ha.
Dick: But the horses aren't
the only creature
caught on camera last night.
Billy: What's that?
That's a fox, isn't it?
Michael: Is it a fox?
Billy: Yeah, but it's got
a limp, hasn't it?
Michael: He's not a very
healthy fox.
Billy: That's a very
unhealthy fox.
Michael: There's a stag.
Billy: There's a stag.
Michael: Look at the antlers
on it. Massive.
Wow.
A bit of a wildlife hotspot,
that area, isn't it?
Billy: Yeah.
Michael: But no boar.
Billy: Not yet anyway.
Dick: Time to place the camera
in a different corner
of the woods.
And Billy thinks he knows
just the place.
Billy: Pigs, they love rolling
in mud to get rid of ticks
and lice and things like that.
So, uh, this is probably
definitely the best spot.
Dick: Whilst they await their
next batch of footage,
Michael's itching to get started
on a restoration job
at the chateau's chapel.
Michael: We really need to have
a look at
this stained-glass window.
It literally is about
to collapse.
It's about to fall out of
the window frame.
And if we don't save it, we're
gonna lose the window.
It's very fragile.
There's lots and lots of pieces
of glass that make it up.
And, you know, if we don't save
it, the chapel's gonna lose
one of its nice features.
Dick: The stained glass has been
here since the chapel was built
150 years ago.
Michael: So we need to be
really delicate with this.
Oh, oh.
Billy: All right.
Michael: It's really, really
fragile.
At the moment, these pieces
are really loose.
I mean, I'm really worried that
when we try and move it,
it's gonna collapse.
So we need to be very, very
careful with this.
Right, Billy?
Billy: Yup.
Michael: Are you supporting it?
Billy: Yeah, you just sort of
edge it slightly,
mainly from the top at first.
Michael: Careful, 'cause it's
actually embedded
in the concrete.
Right. Have you got the weight
of it, yeah?
Billy: Yeah.
Michael: Oh.
Dick: Billy and Michael have
a delicate job on their hands,
getting the window out safely.
Dick: 350 miles away,
at Abbaye de la Bussière,
Clive has a challenge on his
hands--
to work with Chef Guillaume to
devise a new dish using
fresh produce from the abbey's
grounds.
Clive: C'est si bon, eh?
Guillaume: Yeah.
Clive: Oh, tres bien.
They're lovely, very nice.
Don't want to eat too much
of them
because there's not a lot.
I'd rather sell them than
eat them.
Dick: Out in the restaurant,
tonight's guinea pigs are
Brits Laura and Simon.
They've been living in this part
of France for nearly 20 years
and are regular diners here.
Laura: Merci.
Dick: To go with the vegetables,
herbs, and flowers picked
from the abbey, Guillaume's
serving them local goat's cheese
followed by smoked duck from
the neighboring farm.
Laura: Merci. Merci.
[Simon speaking indistinctly]
Laura: Where to start?
Simon: Oh, it's fantastic.
If I could grow that
sort of thing in my garden,
I'd be very happy.
Laura: Just imagine a chef out
there in the morning
foraging for his--
Simon: Stripped to his waist,
naked.
Laura: Yeah, in the garden.
Delicious.
Dick: So far, so good.
Back in the kitchen, dessert's
nearly ready.
Clive: Those are
the wild strawberries that
we saw in the garden.
That's what's going
on the plates here.
[Guillaume speaking French]
Laura: Super. Merci.
They're beautiful.
Dick: The dinner's been a hit,
but Clive's not resting
on his laurels
and is already plotting his
next culinary adventure.
Clive: Tomorrow night, we've got
50 live trout
going into our little basin
outside.
So not quite sure what
the guests will think
when they see a chef with
a fishing net
taking the trout out.
Maybe we can do a pick your own.
Yeah, that would be quite fun,
wouldn't it? Ha ha!
Michael: Oh, oh.
Dick: At Chateau de
la Baismagnée, Billy and Michael
are still struggling
with a 150-year-old
stained-glass window that
Michael wants to repair.
Michael: OK, yup, I got it.
Off we go.
All right. Well, the middle part
doesn't look too bad.
It just seems to be the top
and around the bottom
and around the edges.
Billy: Yeah.
Michael: You can see the joins
and the soldering.
Well, a success.
We've got the window out.
But that was the easy part
because now I've got
to repair it.
Dick: With the glass safely
transported
to the chateau's grand salon,
Michael's figured out
exactly what he needs to do
to bring it back to life.
Michael: Right. So the first
piece I need to recreate is
this piece.
So, I mean, this piece would
normally go here, here,
here, and here.
So I need to make
three of these.
So I'm gonna have a go at
scoring it
and seeing if I can make
a few more.
Dick: Stained-glass windows are
an ancient art form.
And repairing and restoring them
usually requires
the skills of a highly qualified
craftsman.
Michael hasn't studied any art
at all since A level.
Michael: I've never cut glass
before.
Certainly never, you know,
attempted to repair
a stained-glass window,
but I've watched a few videos on
the internet.
And I've got the basic idea
of how it works.
So I'm just gonna have a go
at cutting some pieces of glass.
[Creaking]
Dick: Naughty, naughty, Michael.
Where's your protective eyewear?
Michael: What I need to do now
is try and break this
as cleanly as possible.
Oh. OK.
That wasn't too bad, actually.
So right now is the last break,
is this line here.
The difficult thing is to try
and break this piece from here
without snapping this piece.
Here goes.
I really don't want to do this.
I'm really scared it's
gonna break.
Dick: If he carries on like
this, Michael's in danger
of losing his fingers.
Michael:
Oh! That's not too bad, is it?
That's a really,
really good result.
I'm really surprised with that.
I didn't think it would be
as easy as that,
but it's gone really well.
I mean, if you put that piece
next to that piece,
it is almost the same.
Dick: Good work!
Traditionally, the glass in
a stained-glass window
would've been colored whilst it
was still in its molten state
by adding metallic powders
to the mix.
But Michael's decided
a quick lick of paint
will do the job just fine.
Michael: I mean, I think it
gives a similar effect
The main thing is that it has
been repaired,
and it is still, you know,
a stained-glass window that
can be, you know, enjoyed.
Dick: The last stage is gently
baking the glass in the oven
to preserve the coat of paint.
Michael: Once I've baked them,
I can cut some more pieces.
Once I've got all the pieces of
glass,
I can then have a go at putting
it together.
Dick: Billy's motion sensor
camera has been keeping watch
over a swampy area in the woods
for the past two days.
He's looking for evidence of
wild boar here,
as local farmers have complained
that boar has been destroying
their crops.
Billy: What was that?
Ha ha!
Dick: It looks like Billy's
persistence has paid off.
Billy: We've got boar. Ha ha!
We've got loads of boar.
No, it's not good news.
It isn't.
I wonder if you can make bacon
out of them. Ha ha.
Dick: A man after my own heart.
Billy: Gwendoline?
Gwendoline: Yes?
Billy: Come have a look at this.
My God, look at them.
Gwendoline: Oh, my God.
How many of them is there?
Billy: Probably about six...
maybe a bit more.
Gwendoline:
There's loads of them.
Billy: Look at this, Michael.
Michael: Let's have a look.
Wow! Is that near the lake?
Billy: Yeah.
Before the lake, yeah.
Michael: I think they probably
like the damp ground and stuff,
especially when it's hot.
Michael: Yeah.
Gwendoline: I didn't really
expect to see so many of them.
We're gonna have to do something
about it.
Billy: We should probably call
a gamekeeper
to get him to find a solution
for us, because it isn't good,
is it?
Gwendoline: Yeah.
Dick: They've got to keep
the neighboring farmers happy.
I feel the gamekeeper's
solution will be drastic.
And this family of wild boar
will be gone quicker
than you can say
"bacon sandwich."
the heat is on.
Paul: Four and a half hours
later, and we're nearly there.
Dick: Paul's rushing to
finish repairing his stonework
before the lime mortar
dries out...
Paul: Trawl in there.
Dick: or sunstroke sets in.
Paul: We can see
the finishing line now.
And the mortar's actually
proving to be
the right consistency.
I'm actually relatively pleased.
I think it's successful,
don't it? Result.
I've never been so happy with
a finished job.
I picked the hottest day,
though. It's been 33 degrees.
And there's only one thing left
for it now.
Swim and a glass of rosé.
Dick: The water tower's
stonework has survived
for 150 years.
Not only will Paul's lime mortar
repair protect it
for generations to come,
it's kept the office project
on schedule.
[Paul chuckles]
Dick: As Paul cools off,
Karen's plan to add
an authentic layer of luxury to
the chateau's master bedroom...
Neil: You OK there?
Dick: is reaching
the critical point.
Karen: Wait. I'm on
my woods now.
Don't push it on the wood.
We're in the final stages now
of putting the stretched fabric
that we've printed
on the back of this wall.
Fingers crossed, it's all
gonna come together,
and it's gonna look amazing.
Dick: Live-in handyman Neil is
making the wooden frame
for Karen's printed fabric.
Karen: I'm gonna turn
the top over
and then staple through.
Paul: You're not finished yet?
Karen: Standing there with your
shorts?
Paul: I've just been by
the pool.
Karen: I'm nervous that I'm
gonna cut the fabric and...
Paul: Don't do it.
Karen: I'm gonna cut it in
the wrong place.
Neil: All right. You go in
through there, Karen.
Karen: Up close and personal
to my cloth.
Neil: And that wants to go right
up against the ceiling, yeah?
Paul: You need two people.
Neil: Two people.
Paul: Definitely.
Karen: Paul?
Neil: You stay there, Karen.
Right, Paul.
You hold that there. Got it?
Paul: Mm-hmm.
Neil: I'm gonna put one right
in the middle of there, yeah?
Karen: Yeah.
Neil: OK? You happy with that?
Karen: Yup, very much.
OK, I'm really excited now.
I am!
Paul: I'm just concerned that
it is the most excited
she's been in our bedroom
for a long time.
Karen: I'm really excited!
[Staple gun clicking]
Paul: Good, mate. Impressive.
Good job.
Karen: I think our guests are
gonna be
quite pleased with that.
Dick: It's been a good day.
But with a chateau,
just as something goes right,
you can bet something else is
about to go wrong.
Paul: The internet has been
a struggle.
We finally managed to get
a half decent line in here.
And what we do need to do now
is get it out to the chateau,
across to the water tower.
Dick: You can't have an office
without internet.
Problem is, it's a mystery where
the internet cable is located.
Karen: Do we know what this
cable is, Neil?
Neil: Doesn't appear to go
out the outside of the wall.
Karen: You know, I think it
does, but I think it's been
rendered in.
Neil: Fantastic.
[Laughing]
Just what we need.
Dick: Back at
Chateau de la Baismagnée,
Billy's determined to get rid of
the family of wild boar
he caught on camera.
Billy: We've got a bloke
coming today.
And he's bringing a dog,
and he's gonna sort of
walk his dog around.
And it's probably a big, smelly
dog that's gonna leave
a bit of a scent.
And, hopefully, it sort of
deters the wild boars.
Gwendoline: Oui.
Dick: Boars hate the scent
that hounds leave behind.
So Fanny's presence should be
enough to drive the boar
to the bigger forest
of Mayenne five miles away.
Gwendoline: We've got to stay
behind him--
or at least where he is, but not
go in front of the dog,
because otherwise, it takes away
the smell for the dog.
She can smell some boars,
but nothing too fresh so far.
Dick: Wild boar aren't just
a menace to farmers.
There are so many of them in
France, it's estimated they're
responsible for around 25,000
car crashes a year.
Billy: Sometimes you see them
on the motorway.
And it's really, really
dangerous.
I've seen them
in the countryside as well,
so when you're driving about,
you sort of come across them
in the summer, like big
families of them.
Little ones and a big mother.
You've really got to keep away
from them
because they're quite dangerous.
Dick: After 15 minutes,
the signs are promising.
Gwendoline: He showed us some
tracks left by deers,
and he said his dog doesn't care
about the deer smell.
but when she smells boars,
though, she knows.
Like right
now, she can smell some.
Dick: Bingo.
Gwendoline: So this is when
they've been rolling
after they come here and, like,
rub against the trees
to get rid of all the parasites
that have been left.
Dick: It's a different part of
the forest
to where Billy caught them
on camera,
which suggests the problem is
even bigger than they thought.
But after just
an hour's tracking,
Jean [indistinct] is satisfied
his hound's scent has done
the trick.
[Speaking French]
Gwendoline: Tres bien. Merci.
What they want is for
the boars to go
in the big forest of Mayenne...
Billy: Yeah.
Gwendoline: where they've got,
like, loads and loads of room
to, like, be there as boars.
Billy: Hopefully, what he's done
will sort the problem out.
But if not, he might have
to come back again,
maybe with a bigger dog.
Gwendoline: Yeah, or more dogs.
Billy: A smellier dog.
Gwendoline: Yeah. Ha ha!
[Boar grunts]
Dick: Next time...
Angel helps with Michael with
some interior renovations...
Michael: See? That's already
looking much better, that bit.
Angel: I've only just started!
[Laughter]
Dick: while outside...
Billy: It's quite daunting.
Dick: brother Billy and their
dad struggle with the patio.
Billy: Dad, there's nothing
underneath that corner...
Father: Shut up.
Billy: I'd have sacked him
by now if I was paying him.
Dick: A troublesome wall causes
a pileup for Clive and his dad.
Clive: This is a 32-ton truck,
and it's a very, very
old bridge.
Man: Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.
Different man: That's his new
lorry, 185,000 euros.
Dick: And there are little jobs.
Paul: Put that out
so it stands up.
Karen: OK, now.
Paul: Flatten your plank.
Dick: and big jobs for
Karen and Paul.
Paul: I suppose there's no
point going back now, is there?
Man: Down!
Karen: Oh, my God!
my wife Angel,
and our two children
in our glorious French chateau.
We haven't ever regretted
what we've done.
It is so worth it.
We moved here 3 years ago
to follow our dream
of living life in our very
own castle.
Angel: Ha ha! Oh, my God.
Dick, voice-over:
But it's not been easy...
I think I'm a bit too old
for this.
as dozens of other Brits know
only too well.
Man: Oops. The floor needs
replacing as well. Ha ha!
Dick: Because, it turns out,
we're not the only expats
who have bought
a French chateau.
Karen: Wow! Absolutely love it.
Man: 25-year-old Bordeaux!
Motherlode!
Dick, voice-over:
In this series,
we'll reveal how we're running
our chateau as a business...
Dick: There's not a thing
about making sausage
that I don't find humorous.
Abbie: I'm still finding things
that I haven't seen.
Dick: and see how these daring
Brits are running theirs.
Angel: Here's to the meeting
of two like-minded couples...
Man: Cheers.
Angel: Cheers.
Dick, voice-over:
...as they face the ups...
Woman: It's really beautiful.
Man: This is a rare moment,
but I am genuinely at peace.
Dick: and downs.
Man: Um, it's a lot worse
than it looks.
Dick: of the new lives
in these crumbling
and magnificent buildings.
Michael: It is a bit fantasy
living in a French chateau.
We might have a few problems
on the way,
but that's part of life,
isn't it? Ha ha!
Dick, voice-over:
Today I receive an S.O.S.
from some chateau neighbors...
Dick: How we doing?
Lovely to meet you
and wind up with a serious
challenge on my hands.
Are you ready?
Billy: This isn't gonna work,
is it?
Dick: Out in the woods,
the hunt is on for some unwanted
visitors.
Billy: You really got to keep
away from them because they're
quite dangerous.
Dick: The heat is on
for one chateau owner...
Paul: I don't think I could be
hotter.
Dick: while the pressure is
on another
to keep up with his
rivals.
Clive: There's a lot of
competition out there.
We're right in the middle
of some of France's top
restaurants.
Dick: Chateau de la Baismagnée
in the Pays de la Loire
was bought just six months ago
by Brit builder Billy
and his French fiancee
Gwendoline.
Billy: Why did buy
a chateau, Gwendoline?
Because we're mad, as well,
aren't we?
Gwendoline: Yeah, maybe we're
a bit mad.
Billy: Yeah, we fell in love
with it, didn't we?
Gwendoline: We did.
Dick: With help from Billy's
older brother Michael,
this couple are working hard
to restore it
and turn it into an upmarket
bed and breakfast
and wedding venue.
Michael: It's up to us to sort
of, you know, our generation
to sort of take on places
like this
and have an interest
in restoring them and, you know,
protecting them for the future.
Dick: And they've already had
one set of paying customers,
a hen party, who spent a long
weekend at the guesthouse.
[Women speaking French]
[Cheering]
Dick: Their chateau is just
30 miles from ours,
in northwest France.
So when Billy asked for some
help with something,
I was only too pleased to make
the short trip.
Billy's been in touch. He
wants a hand with his lighting.
In theory, that's nice and easy.
I've got an electrical
engineering background.
That's OK. But it's a chateau.
Ha ha!
The cables are never where you
want them.
You have to put them
somewhere else.
And getting from A to B is
difficult,
never mind the height of
the ceiling.
So, um, it's a challenge.
He hasn't told me what type of
lighting he needs help with.
Something tells me there's
a reason
he didn't divulge that
information.
Here we go. How lovely.
That is actually very special.
Angela will like the gates.
It's hard to believe
this place is owned
by a couple in their 20s.
Dick: How are we doing?
Lovely to meet you.
Gwendoline: Nice meeting you.
Billy: Hello.
Lovely to meet you. I'm Billy.
Dick: Good to see you.
It's huge.
But because of the stone,
it looks in really good nick.
Billy: Yeah, we're quite lucky
in that.
It's really, really solid,
isn't it?
Gwendoline: Yeah.
Dick: You have got a project
of epic proportions, yeah?
How far are you getting?
How far are you inside?
Billy: Ground floor looks
all right.
It looks really nice inside
and clean.
Dick: The roof?
Billy: Yeah, not too bad.
Gwendoline: There was a few
leaks when we got here.
Billy: I've done a few, but...
Dick: What do
you mean, "I've done a few"?
Billy: I've done a few. Ha ha!
I got up there.
Dick: How did you get up there?
Do you go up with roof ladder
at the little windows
and things?
Billy: No, I'm lucky.
I've got a cherry picker. Ha ha.
Dick: Sorry. "I've got
a cherry picker"?
Dick, voice-over:
OK, now I'm jealous.
Dick: Where did you get
a cherry picker from?
Billy: We got it nicely,
didn't we? Quite.
Gwendoline: Yeah,
just secondhand.
Billy: Yeah, it's a bit old...
Gwendoline: Probably third-hand.
Billy: and a bit rusty,
but it does the job.
Dick, voice-over: Billy
just became my new best friend.
Next time I need
a cherry picker,
I know exactly who to call.
Are you guarding the house?
Gwendoline: He is.
Dick: I'm scared of dogs.
No, I'm not.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
This is done.
This place is done up.
You have this from family?
Billy: No.
These are just paintings that we
sort of saw
and managed to source quite
cheaply.
Dick: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa.
Go and stand over by
that picture. Go on.
Please step over there.
The hands--look at the hands.
He does the hands automatically.
Gwendoline and Billy: Yeah.
Gwendoline: Yeah, that could be
your great nan.
Dick: Great-great-great nan.
Gwendoline: Yeah, possibly.
Possibly. Maybe.
Billy: It's the bloodline.
I can see it.
Billy: Ha ha!
Dick: Considering they've only
been here four months,
this place is in pretty good
nick.
Not only has Billy patched up
the leaking roof,
mended the chimney, and fitted
in a new kitchen,
it's also been
freshly decorated.
Dick: Electricity.
Gwendoline and Billy: Yes.
Dick: Sockets, I assume.
Billy: Absolutely.
Dick: Next thing the two of you
will tell me,
you've got broadband.
Billy: Ha ha! We have.
Dick: You what?!
Dick, voice-over: And they've
clearly inherited
some stunning period features.
Dick: That fireplace is
phenomenal.
Gwendoline: It is.
It's very grand, isn't it?
Billy: It is brilliant.
Dick: That is very, very
special.
You do seem to have a lot of
collections of things that fit
in the chateau.
Billy: Yeah, yeah.
We've been collecting furniture
for about three years now.
Gwendoline: Yeah.
Billy: We wanted a project
like this, but not as big.
[Dick laughing]
Billy: But somehow we were
buying the furniture,
and we had so much, and then we
saw this place,
and we just fell in love
with it.
Gwendoline: Yeah.
Dick: The size of this place...
is phenomenal.
And everywhere I look,
I think I'm seeing chandeliers.
Gwendoline: Yes, you are.
Billy: There is a bit of a theme
going on there, isn't there?
Gwendoline: Yeah.
Dick: A bit of a theme.
You can't move for chandeliers
in this place.
Dick: How many?
That's one hanging down.
There's another one over there.
In this room, well, one, two.
You got a spare there.
One, two, three, four, five.
You got five chandeliers in
this room alone.
What's it like living with a man
with a sort
of a chandelier fetish?
Gwendoline: Well, it's good
because you get
nice chandeliers everywhere,
but then, uh, well,
it's expensive.
It's an expensive hobby.
Dick: Every room downstairs
that you want to have
a chandelier's got one?
And you've got spares.
Billy: Not at the moment.
That's why you're here.
Dick: I knew you said "lights,"
but I haven't seen
a single space for a chandelier.
Billy: On the staircase. Ha ha!
Dick, sarcastically:
Oh, that's real easy.
Dick, voice-over: No wonder
he never mentioned
the chandelier on the phone.
This is going to be a bit harder
than screwing in a light bulb.
It looks quite substantial.
It's not gonna be light.
Billy: Yeah, it probably weighs,
like, the same as
a bag of cement or something.
Dick, voice-over: That's about
20 kilos of chandelier.
This should be fun.
Did you ever see the "Only
Fools and Horses" sketch?
Billy: I have, yeah.
I've been practicing
my lines. Ha ha!
Billy: Come on, Grandad.
Dick: Oh! Oh.
Now you're really looking
for trouble. Yeah.
The abuse has only just started.
Dick, voice-over:
But, seriously, I think I've got
a job on my hands here.
120 miles south,
Chateau le Perriere is
the twin-towered pride and joy
of designers
Paul and Karen Horne...
Paul: That is
the plasterer's mount.
Dick: who've spent the last 12
years renovating it
in hope of turning it into
a profitable business.
Karen: We came here, and we both
fell in love with it.
It is a place to dream,
and it's a place
where you are building memories.
Dick: The chateau sits deep in
the heart of the picturesque
Loire Valley.
But since they've been here,
Paul and Karen have seen
their renovation costs spiral.
Paul: And le Perriere is a bit
of a fruit machine really,
isn't it?
The money goes in at the top,
but it doesn't come out
the bottom.
One day it'll come out
the bottom as well.
You never know.
Dick: It's rented out
as a luxury holiday home
for the bulk of the year.
But in the Loire Valley,
competition between holiday
homes is particularly fierce.
Their new scheme to appeal to
wealthy guests
is transforming this old water
tower into a luxury office.
Paul: The view is just
fantastic.
There could be worse places
to work.
Karen: It's nice to be able to
offer to guests
the ability to be able to come
on holiday with their family
but still be able to have
a professional working
environment.
Dick: The Hornes are only
visiting the chateau
for a few days to continue
the renovation.
Before they leave,
Karen also has a project
she'd like to finish.
And an original feature
preserved
in one of the chateau's
other bedrooms
has given her the perfect
inspiration.
Karen: So we've got an original
Toile de Jouy
fabric wall covering that was
here when the chateau
was originally built.
I'm looking to use this
technique
in the bedroom downstairs.
I'm using our chateau as
the main scene
on the wall covering.
Dick: Karen wants to make her
traditional wall cloth
from scratch.
This morning, she's hoping to
source the fabric
from the antiques market in
nearby Chinon.
Paul: Have some burgundy chairs
on the left.
This is actually--oh, that's
a nice chair, actually.
What do you think?
Karen: Do you think he does
delivery?
Paul: That's a great size for
the bedroom.
Daughter: Oh, that's not nice.
Dick: Karen tries to barter
for some fabric she's found...
[Conversation in French]
Dick: and fails miserably.
Karen: I tried. I tried. I'm
gonna buy it anyway.
Merci.
She wasn't having any of it.
Paul: See if you do better on
the next one, then.
Karen: Oh, and I bought some--
look at that--trim.
You're not excited, are you?
Paul: I'm not a fabric man.
You know that.
Karen: No, no.
Paul: But I like the result,
but I'm not a fabric man.
Karen: That's a bit like talking
bikes to me, really, isn't it?
Paul: It is. Oh, is there
a bike shop?
Karen: No.
Paul and Karen: OK.
Dick: But a few minutes later,
Karen thinks she's found
an even better piece of fabric.
Karen: It'd be beautiful for
printing on.
But it is 30 euros, so it's
quite expensive, I feel.
Paul: Right.
[Paul and Karen speaking French]
Karen and vendor: Oui. Oui.
[Vendor speaking French]
Karen: Parfait. Perfect. Lovely.
Dick: Karen's bought three
meters of 200-year-old fabric
for just over £17,
£10 off the asking price.
Karen: I'm really happy
with that.
Paul: Merci, monsieur.
C'est bon.
Karen: I got a bargain.
[Paul speaking French]
Karen: Merci, merci.
Dick: Back at the chateau,
Paul's facing a big problem
with the stonework supporting
the water tower.
It's crumbling and must be
patched up before any other work
can take place.
Paul: We've got to use
a lime render,
which is a specific kind of
render that you've got to use
with the 2/3 stone.
Otherwise it dissolves
the stone.
Dick: Tomorrow, scaffolding is
going up over the entire tower,
so work on the office can begin.
Paul: And we've got the platform
being built,
so I've got to finish it today.
So we've got about three hours
to learn how to do it
and do it.
We have ordered in specifically
some lime mortar.
And what I was hoping, which is
really kind of silly, bearing
my move to France, is that
the instructions
would be in English and French.
I'm not quite sure why I thought
that because if we bought
it in England, they wouldn't be.
Dick: To finish the office
by the end of the summer,
there's not a day to spare.
And the family needs to be out
of the chateau tomorrow
as their next guests
are arriving.
So the pressure's on for Paul.
I've come 30 miles down the road
to Chateau de la Baismagnée
to see Billy and Gwen.
They've asked me to help hang
a 20-kilo chandelier
above the staircase.
Billy: Right. So this is where
I want it.
Dick: Of course it is.
Billy: Right up there.
Dick: So it's gonna be
quite high.
Um, what's above this?
Billy: There is
an empty bedroom.
Dick: I think we're gonna have
to go and have a look at
the floorboards in there.
Dick, voice-over: On the plus
side, a light fitting
has been hung from this point
before.
But when it was last used is
anyone's guess.
You got cable there, electrics,
so there's a route up there.
There's access.
There must be a way of coming
from the top down.
Dick, voice-over: I just hope
we don't rip half
the ceiling down in the process.
Dick: One very important
thing is, are you sure you want
the big chandelier
up there?
Billy: Definitely, yes.
Gwendoline: Yes.
Dick: OK, had to ask.
It was worth asking. Heh!
[Billy and Gwendoline chuckling]
Dick: I'm too old for this.
Fortunately, I've got some tools
outside in the car that
should make our life easier.
That's the hardest light to fix
in the chateau,
is the chandelier on
the highest point.
It's actually quite physical
just to take
a 20-kilogram chandelier
and stick it that high.
It's gonna take a bit of work,
so I've brought some pulleys
and things.
We'll see. We'll see.
Dick, voice-over: Our plan is to
go up into the empty bedroom
above the staircase...
Dick: Reminds me of home.
Dick, voice-over: and look for
the point in the floor
that the old light fitting
was hung from.
Dick: The center of the room
is obvious. This way, OK?
Then we look down. There's been
some cutting done.
And the cutting was neatly done.
Billy: Yup.
Dick: Yeah, it's not
a bad job at all.
And we're gonna go in
and see what we can find.
With a bit of luck, underneath
here, there will be
a chandelier hook,
a big solid construction
on a beam that allows you to
hook your chandelier on it.
Billy: Yeah.
Dick: All right.
Dick, voice-over:
We're in luck.
Not only do we have a hole,
but the old fitting
is still wired up
to the mains.
Dick: Make sure this is off.
Billy: Yup.
Dick: It should be off.
We'll just test it.
Billy: Yeah, I'll go
and isolate it.
Dick: Right. As long as
it's not on,
we'll put our cable
through there,
which is our
chandelier-supporting cable.
We'll attach the chandelier,
and then we'll get
the chandelier upstairs.
Billy: Yup.
Dick: This is actually better
than I thought.
Dick, voice-over: The cable I've
got with me can take 95 kilos,
so it should be more than enough
to take the strain
of Billy's chandelier.
Dick: Shall we use this?
Through the hole. Up and down.
Pull it.
Let's have a vote on the plan.
The dog agrees with me,
so that's how it's done.
It'll work. You happy with that?
Billy: Definitely, yeah.
Perfect.
Dick: I'll be using a small hand
winch supported by this trestle
to winch the chandelier up
into position.
OK, that's coming up.
Billy: Yeah.
Dick, voice-over: The only
problem we've got is that
an old light bulb is still
attached to the wiring.
Dick: This is the bulb.
Dick, voice-over: The hole is
too small to pull it through
and disconnect it.
So I'm simply going to have
to snip it off,
and Billy will have to
catch it downstairs.
What could possibly go wrong?
Dick: Are you ready?
Billy: This isn't gonna work,
is it?
Dick: Billy!
Billy: I can see it landing
on my face somehow.
Dick: Billy! Billy?
Billy: I'm never gonna
catch this.
Dick: One, two, three.
I hope Billy's a good catch.
35 miles west of Dijon,
L'Abbaye de la Bussière
is a former Roman Catholic
abbey turned luxury hotel.
It's owned by English couple
Clive and Tanith Cummings.
They're running it as a high-end
hotel.
And this year, they've been
working hard
to get more locals dining
in their restaurant.
Clive: We do put a lot of
pressure on ourselves at times.
Sometimes, you know, you think,
Am I pushing too hard?
But you've got to keep that
momentum going
in all departments.
[Chef saying indistinct
commands]
Dick: The abbey's
Michelin-starred restaurant
is run by Head Chef Guillaume.
Clive: He's a local man.
He's had experience
from one-, two-, and
three-Michelin star restaurants.
And he wants to make a name for
himself now and his own menu.
Dick: Today Guillaume and Clive
are looking at ways
they can freshen up
the dinner menu.
Clive: We're in the heart of
Burgundy.
And Burgundy is very famous in
France for being
the heart of gastronomy.
So there's a lot of competition
out there.
We're right in the middle of
some of France's
top restaurants--
two Michelin stars,
three Michelin stars.
Although we've got the building
and we got the gardens,
you can't just sit back on that.
You've got to ensure that you've
got something else to sell.
Dick: Guillaume's got a plan to
make his menu stand out
from the crowd.
Clive: Rather than just having
a normal menu,
we're trying to highlight
very local ingredients.
Dick: In fact, Guillaume wants
as many of his ingredients as
possible to be sourced
right here at the abbey.
Clive: What we would like to do
is to make one dish
served at lunch and then one
at dinner
where 100% of that dish is grown
here on site.
Dick: Tonight Guillaume's
invited
two of his regular diners to
come and sample
some of his brand-new dishes,
but he's not entirely sure
what's currently growing, so he
and Clive have come to see
gardener Raphael.
Clive: We're doing courgettes
here, Raph?
Raphael: Courgettes here, the
courgettes is here, little bit.
Clive: With beans?
Raphael: Yeah, beans.
Clive: We got beans, and we got
carrots as well.
We got absolutely bucket loads
of mint, radishes as well.
Dick: Raphael also keeps bees.
These three hives produce about
100 kilos of honey a year
for the restaurant.
And Clive's spotted something
else on the grounds, too.
Clive: I was cutting the grass
only last week,
and I noticed that under one of
my trees, I've got
lots of wild strawberries.
Look at this. Look.
All the strawberries,
look at them all.
Dick: These wild strawberries,
together with a handful
of wild herbs from the garden...
Dick: are going straight back
to the kitchen.
All Guillaume has to do now is
come up with a new dish.
I've been at Chateau
de la Baismagnée
helping Billy and Gwen hang
a chandelier.
One, two, three.
Dick, voice-over: But when I
dropped the bulb,
I wasn't entirely sure if
Billy was ready.
Billy: Oi. Caught it. Ha ha.
Dick: I have no idea what
happened!
I have no idea what happened.
Did you catch it?
Billy: I did.
Dick: What a smarty pants.
Well done, matey.
Billy: Ha ha. All right, then.
Dick: Success at
the first stage.
All we have to do
now is attach the chandelier
and hoist it into position.
It's a long way.
Gwendoline: Makes me a bit
nervous because, well,
if it falls, it breaks.
And it's not exactly as if we
could go to the shop
and buy another one,
is it? So...
Dick, voice-over:
I've run a cable
through the hole
in the ceiling
30 feet down to
the waiting chandelier.
Dick: OK...
Dick, voice-over: To minimize
the distance I have to winch
this thing up, we're bringing
it up to the first landing.
Dick: Now, this is a bit silly.
Billy: Ha ha!
Dick: Who ever heard of taking
a trolley
with a chandelier up a stair?
[Billy chuckles]
Billy: Perfect.
Dick and Billy: Yeah.
Dick: You are going to guide it
down when the tension's on.
Gwendoline, you are actually
communications.
So if we need to stop,
you have to shout.
Because if not, we'll just keep
going, and it'll all break,
and it'll all be your fault.
Gwendoline: All right.
No pressure.
Dick: Ha ha!
All I have to do is go upstairs
and turn a handle.
Ha ha. Good luck, team.
Billy: Thanks.
Dick: Go for it.
Dick, voice-over:
With Gwendoline at the window,
there's now a direct line of
communication
between Billy and I.
Dick: How are we doing?
Billy and Gwendoline: Good.
Dick: Tell me when to start.
Gwendoline: Keep going.
Keep going.
Dick: But I'm still
working pretty much blind.
This isn't nice.
I have no idea what's going on,
but I can feel
the weight of the chandelier
or the chandelier and Billy.
I have no idea.
Billy: He's got
the weight of it now.
Dick: That's the cable
come through.
Billy: Right.
Dick:
That's your lowest position.
Billy: Yup, so up higher.
Dick: Say again?
Billy: Yeah, higher.
Dick: Higher? How much higher?
Billy: Um, about a meter.
Dick: About a meter.
Billy and Gwendoline: Yes.
Dick: I'll get this up first.
Billy: That's perfect, I think.
Gwendoline: Perfect!
Dick: I heard "perfect."
You sure?
Billy: That's perfect.
Say "It's good."
Gwendoline: That's good!
Dick: Brilliant!
Dick, voice-over: All I have to
do now is
connect it to the mains.
Gwendoline: It looks good
from here. It looks beautiful.
I can't wait to see it.
Billy: Lit up.
Gwendoline: Like, yeah, lit up.
Dick, voice-over:
After all that,
I just hope the thing works.
Dick: I give you the biggest
chandelier
in the worst place in your
chateau.
Gwendoline: Whoo!
Billy: Yay!
Dick: Hey, I got to tell you,
nice soft light.
Lots of nice soft light.
Billy: It is, yeah.
Dick: Well, I'm ready.
Billy: Thanks a lot.
Dick: How many more have you got
to hang up?
You've got all the bedrooms to
do, haven't you?
Billy: They're easy.
Dick: How many bedrooms?
Billy: Uh, 20.
Dick: 19 more to buy?!
Oh, how happy is Billy? Ha ha!
I'm busy just so you know.
Dick, voice-over:
I'm only kidding.
If he lets me borrow his
cherry picker...
Gwendoline: Thank you so much.
Dick, voice-over: I'll consider
giving him a hand with the rest.
Gwendoline: Oh, it's amazing.
It finally looks as it
should look. I love it.
You've done a very good job
there, darling.
Billy: You're welcome.
Dick: Back in the Loire Valley,
at Chateau le Perriere,
novice builder Paul has just
a day to finish work
on the chateau's water tower.
He's hoping to repair
the crumbling stonework
with a traditional
lime mortar mix.
But some of the ingredients
are rather dangerous.
Paul: The lime is an acid,
so I think it settles down once
you've mixed it,
but while you're mixing it,
it becomes quite a toxic acid,
although what I am seeing is
also the amount
of protective headgear
and glasses and gloves.
Judging from that, we might need
to tog up a little bit more
than if we were doing
a bit of cement mix.
Dick: To stay safe, Paul's
decided to wear
full protective gear,
including a respirator.
Paul: I think it's probably
a sensible thing to do.
Dick: But, unfortunately,
for him,
it's the hottest day
of the year.
Paul: I'm really glad we chose
a 30-degree afternoon
to do it in.
It has to be done. I'm just
gonna have to get on.
It really is a boiler suit
today.
Dick: He's got no choice but to
use this lime mixture
as modern cement will damage
the water tower's delicate,
soft stonework.
Paul: It's early days,
but so far, so good.
We haven't gotten any big
globules of mortar or anything,
so the mixing's going
quite well.
And I got 20 minutes to watch it
all go round for a while,
or we can go and do some actual
proper work
and go and get the renderer.
And then I can take this mask
off, as well,
which is very, very hot.
Dick: Paul chips away
the old crumbling render,
ready for his new coat.
Paul: We're gonna try and neaten
off all this render
and make it look like
a really nice Loire stone.
It's typical of
the Loire Valley, really.
Well, when it's done properly,
it's typical of
the Loire Valley.
We'll see what it's like when
I've finished it.
Hopefully, mine won't come off
quite as easily
when I've done it.
Inside, Paul's wife, Karen,
is making progress
with her plan to add a layer
of luxury
to the chateau's
master bedroom...
[Press squeaks]
Karen: Love that sound. Heh!
Dick: and putting her recently
acquired screen-printing skills
to the test.
Karen: Wow.
We're printing
a Toile de Jouy fabric,
the Chateau le Perriere version,
onto the brocante fabric
that we've bought.
Dick: If all goes to plan,
this printed cloth
will be used to cover
the master bedroom wall
in the classic 19th-century
style.
Karen: So the pictures on
the fabric are
all the things we love about
chateau,
the towerettes, the sign
at the beginning of the road,
and the butterflies.
Daughter: Lift?
And how does it look?
Karen: It looks fabulous.
Dick: As Karen immortalizes
the chateau, back outside,
Paul's not faring quite so well.
Paul: Ah. Never had so much dust
and grime.
The hottest day of the year
so far.
I think it's going up
to 33 degrees.
And I don't like being
the poor little lad.
So let's get cracking.
Dick: Paul's stonework repair
is vital
if work on the new office is
to stay on schedule.
Paul: The moment of truth.
Let's see how we get on.
The first bit's going to be
the interesting bit.
Have we got it right?
Dick: The mortar's not
falling off the wall,
but the soaring temperature is
causing another problem.
Paul: It's supposed to have
cooled down by now,
which would help
to keep my render
at the same consistency
at the end as it is now.
It must be what, half past 6:00,
and it's still incredibly hot.
I think on one of the hottest
I've ever been.
Dick: Paul needs to wrap this
job up soon
before the mortar dries out
or he collapses from the heat.
[Paul exhales]
Paul: It's hot.
I'm expiring here.
I don't think I
could be hotter.
Dick: 150 miles north at
Chateau de la Baismagnée,
Billy, Gwendoline, and Michael
have spent the past six months
making the chateau livable
and getting the heating up
and running.
But they've just discovered
the neighbors are
unhappy about something.
Billy: The farmers are all
complaining, locally,
because the wild boar are
destroying their crops.
Unfortunately, we've got
a large plot of land here,
and we're probably responsible
to not have them
in the forest, you know?
Dick: Wild boar have become
a menace in France
over the past decade.
They cause about £45 million
worth of damage
to farmers' crops every year.
And if they've taken up
residence in the woods here,
it's little wonder the
neighboring farmers are worried.
Michael: The forest
is completely surrounded by
farmland, and that is where they
live, we think, in the forest.
So we need to find out if
they're in the forest.
And, right, if we can find out
they're there,
maybe we can do something
about it.
Dick: The ultimate plan will be
to drive the boar
back into the larger forest of
Mayenne,
five miles away and far from
the farmers' crops.
But wild boar are incredibly
shy creatures.
And because they're largely
nocturnal,
neither Billy, Gwen, nor Michael
have actually seen one here.
Michael: Missy's getting
excited. Ha ha!
Billy: Put her there a minute,
and then she will take
the steering wheel.
[Michael laughs]
Dick: In a bid to see if there
are any boar on their land,
Billy set up a motion sensor
camera two days ago,
and now he's off to collect it.
Billy: Here we are. This is
where I put the camera.
Michael: Oh, brilliant.
All right. Let's have a look.
Dick: If wild boar have been
roaming around
this part of the woods,
they should have set it off.
Michael: All right. Let's go and
see if there's any footage
on this thing.
Billy: All right, then.
Michael: Well, there's quite
a lot of videos. Ooh!
What are they? Are they horses?
Dick: Either those are
very big boar,
or Billy's horses have escaped.
Billy: Let me just see if our
horses are still there.
Michael: It seems that, uh,
our horses that were
in the field, or meant to be
in the field,
were in the forest last night.
Billy: Yeah, the horses are
still there,
so they must have escaped
last night
and sort of done a bit of
wandering in the night.
Well, that's very interesting,
isn't it?
What horses get up to
when you're not looking! Ha ha.
Dick: But the horses aren't
the only creature
caught on camera last night.
Billy: What's that?
That's a fox, isn't it?
Michael: Is it a fox?
Billy: Yeah, but it's got
a limp, hasn't it?
Michael: He's not a very
healthy fox.
Billy: That's a very
unhealthy fox.
Michael: There's a stag.
Billy: There's a stag.
Michael: Look at the antlers
on it. Massive.
Wow.
A bit of a wildlife hotspot,
that area, isn't it?
Billy: Yeah.
Michael: But no boar.
Billy: Not yet anyway.
Dick: Time to place the camera
in a different corner
of the woods.
And Billy thinks he knows
just the place.
Billy: Pigs, they love rolling
in mud to get rid of ticks
and lice and things like that.
So, uh, this is probably
definitely the best spot.
Dick: Whilst they await their
next batch of footage,
Michael's itching to get started
on a restoration job
at the chateau's chapel.
Michael: We really need to have
a look at
this stained-glass window.
It literally is about
to collapse.
It's about to fall out of
the window frame.
And if we don't save it, we're
gonna lose the window.
It's very fragile.
There's lots and lots of pieces
of glass that make it up.
And, you know, if we don't save
it, the chapel's gonna lose
one of its nice features.
Dick: The stained glass has been
here since the chapel was built
150 years ago.
Michael: So we need to be
really delicate with this.
Oh, oh.
Billy: All right.
Michael: It's really, really
fragile.
At the moment, these pieces
are really loose.
I mean, I'm really worried that
when we try and move it,
it's gonna collapse.
So we need to be very, very
careful with this.
Right, Billy?
Billy: Yup.
Michael: Are you supporting it?
Billy: Yeah, you just sort of
edge it slightly,
mainly from the top at first.
Michael: Careful, 'cause it's
actually embedded
in the concrete.
Right. Have you got the weight
of it, yeah?
Billy: Yeah.
Michael: Oh.
Dick: Billy and Michael have
a delicate job on their hands,
getting the window out safely.
Dick: 350 miles away,
at Abbaye de la Bussière,
Clive has a challenge on his
hands--
to work with Chef Guillaume to
devise a new dish using
fresh produce from the abbey's
grounds.
Clive: C'est si bon, eh?
Guillaume: Yeah.
Clive: Oh, tres bien.
They're lovely, very nice.
Don't want to eat too much
of them
because there's not a lot.
I'd rather sell them than
eat them.
Dick: Out in the restaurant,
tonight's guinea pigs are
Brits Laura and Simon.
They've been living in this part
of France for nearly 20 years
and are regular diners here.
Laura: Merci.
Dick: To go with the vegetables,
herbs, and flowers picked
from the abbey, Guillaume's
serving them local goat's cheese
followed by smoked duck from
the neighboring farm.
Laura: Merci. Merci.
[Simon speaking indistinctly]
Laura: Where to start?
Simon: Oh, it's fantastic.
If I could grow that
sort of thing in my garden,
I'd be very happy.
Laura: Just imagine a chef out
there in the morning
foraging for his--
Simon: Stripped to his waist,
naked.
Laura: Yeah, in the garden.
Delicious.
Dick: So far, so good.
Back in the kitchen, dessert's
nearly ready.
Clive: Those are
the wild strawberries that
we saw in the garden.
That's what's going
on the plates here.
[Guillaume speaking French]
Laura: Super. Merci.
They're beautiful.
Dick: The dinner's been a hit,
but Clive's not resting
on his laurels
and is already plotting his
next culinary adventure.
Clive: Tomorrow night, we've got
50 live trout
going into our little basin
outside.
So not quite sure what
the guests will think
when they see a chef with
a fishing net
taking the trout out.
Maybe we can do a pick your own.
Yeah, that would be quite fun,
wouldn't it? Ha ha!
Michael: Oh, oh.
Dick: At Chateau de
la Baismagnée, Billy and Michael
are still struggling
with a 150-year-old
stained-glass window that
Michael wants to repair.
Michael: OK, yup, I got it.
Off we go.
All right. Well, the middle part
doesn't look too bad.
It just seems to be the top
and around the bottom
and around the edges.
Billy: Yeah.
Michael: You can see the joins
and the soldering.
Well, a success.
We've got the window out.
But that was the easy part
because now I've got
to repair it.
Dick: With the glass safely
transported
to the chateau's grand salon,
Michael's figured out
exactly what he needs to do
to bring it back to life.
Michael: Right. So the first
piece I need to recreate is
this piece.
So, I mean, this piece would
normally go here, here,
here, and here.
So I need to make
three of these.
So I'm gonna have a go at
scoring it
and seeing if I can make
a few more.
Dick: Stained-glass windows are
an ancient art form.
And repairing and restoring them
usually requires
the skills of a highly qualified
craftsman.
Michael hasn't studied any art
at all since A level.
Michael: I've never cut glass
before.
Certainly never, you know,
attempted to repair
a stained-glass window,
but I've watched a few videos on
the internet.
And I've got the basic idea
of how it works.
So I'm just gonna have a go
at cutting some pieces of glass.
[Creaking]
Dick: Naughty, naughty, Michael.
Where's your protective eyewear?
Michael: What I need to do now
is try and break this
as cleanly as possible.
Oh. OK.
That wasn't too bad, actually.
So right now is the last break,
is this line here.
The difficult thing is to try
and break this piece from here
without snapping this piece.
Here goes.
I really don't want to do this.
I'm really scared it's
gonna break.
Dick: If he carries on like
this, Michael's in danger
of losing his fingers.
Michael:
Oh! That's not too bad, is it?
That's a really,
really good result.
I'm really surprised with that.
I didn't think it would be
as easy as that,
but it's gone really well.
I mean, if you put that piece
next to that piece,
it is almost the same.
Dick: Good work!
Traditionally, the glass in
a stained-glass window
would've been colored whilst it
was still in its molten state
by adding metallic powders
to the mix.
But Michael's decided
a quick lick of paint
will do the job just fine.
Michael: I mean, I think it
gives a similar effect
The main thing is that it has
been repaired,
and it is still, you know,
a stained-glass window that
can be, you know, enjoyed.
Dick: The last stage is gently
baking the glass in the oven
to preserve the coat of paint.
Michael: Once I've baked them,
I can cut some more pieces.
Once I've got all the pieces of
glass,
I can then have a go at putting
it together.
Dick: Billy's motion sensor
camera has been keeping watch
over a swampy area in the woods
for the past two days.
He's looking for evidence of
wild boar here,
as local farmers have complained
that boar has been destroying
their crops.
Billy: What was that?
Ha ha!
Dick: It looks like Billy's
persistence has paid off.
Billy: We've got boar. Ha ha!
We've got loads of boar.
No, it's not good news.
It isn't.
I wonder if you can make bacon
out of them. Ha ha.
Dick: A man after my own heart.
Billy: Gwendoline?
Gwendoline: Yes?
Billy: Come have a look at this.
My God, look at them.
Gwendoline: Oh, my God.
How many of them is there?
Billy: Probably about six...
maybe a bit more.
Gwendoline:
There's loads of them.
Billy: Look at this, Michael.
Michael: Let's have a look.
Wow! Is that near the lake?
Billy: Yeah.
Before the lake, yeah.
Michael: I think they probably
like the damp ground and stuff,
especially when it's hot.
Michael: Yeah.
Gwendoline: I didn't really
expect to see so many of them.
We're gonna have to do something
about it.
Billy: We should probably call
a gamekeeper
to get him to find a solution
for us, because it isn't good,
is it?
Gwendoline: Yeah.
Dick: They've got to keep
the neighboring farmers happy.
I feel the gamekeeper's
solution will be drastic.
And this family of wild boar
will be gone quicker
than you can say
"bacon sandwich."
the heat is on.
Paul: Four and a half hours
later, and we're nearly there.
Dick: Paul's rushing to
finish repairing his stonework
before the lime mortar
dries out...
Paul: Trawl in there.
Dick: or sunstroke sets in.
Paul: We can see
the finishing line now.
And the mortar's actually
proving to be
the right consistency.
I'm actually relatively pleased.
I think it's successful,
don't it? Result.
I've never been so happy with
a finished job.
I picked the hottest day,
though. It's been 33 degrees.
And there's only one thing left
for it now.
Swim and a glass of rosé.
Dick: The water tower's
stonework has survived
for 150 years.
Not only will Paul's lime mortar
repair protect it
for generations to come,
it's kept the office project
on schedule.
[Paul chuckles]
Dick: As Paul cools off,
Karen's plan to add
an authentic layer of luxury to
the chateau's master bedroom...
Neil: You OK there?
Dick: is reaching
the critical point.
Karen: Wait. I'm on
my woods now.
Don't push it on the wood.
We're in the final stages now
of putting the stretched fabric
that we've printed
on the back of this wall.
Fingers crossed, it's all
gonna come together,
and it's gonna look amazing.
Dick: Live-in handyman Neil is
making the wooden frame
for Karen's printed fabric.
Karen: I'm gonna turn
the top over
and then staple through.
Paul: You're not finished yet?
Karen: Standing there with your
shorts?
Paul: I've just been by
the pool.
Karen: I'm nervous that I'm
gonna cut the fabric and...
Paul: Don't do it.
Karen: I'm gonna cut it in
the wrong place.
Neil: All right. You go in
through there, Karen.
Karen: Up close and personal
to my cloth.
Neil: And that wants to go right
up against the ceiling, yeah?
Paul: You need two people.
Neil: Two people.
Paul: Definitely.
Karen: Paul?
Neil: You stay there, Karen.
Right, Paul.
You hold that there. Got it?
Paul: Mm-hmm.
Neil: I'm gonna put one right
in the middle of there, yeah?
Karen: Yeah.
Neil: OK? You happy with that?
Karen: Yup, very much.
OK, I'm really excited now.
I am!
Paul: I'm just concerned that
it is the most excited
she's been in our bedroom
for a long time.
Karen: I'm really excited!
[Staple gun clicking]
Paul: Good, mate. Impressive.
Good job.
Karen: I think our guests are
gonna be
quite pleased with that.
Dick: It's been a good day.
But with a chateau,
just as something goes right,
you can bet something else is
about to go wrong.
Paul: The internet has been
a struggle.
We finally managed to get
a half decent line in here.
And what we do need to do now
is get it out to the chateau,
across to the water tower.
Dick: You can't have an office
without internet.
Problem is, it's a mystery where
the internet cable is located.
Karen: Do we know what this
cable is, Neil?
Neil: Doesn't appear to go
out the outside of the wall.
Karen: You know, I think it
does, but I think it's been
rendered in.
Neil: Fantastic.
[Laughing]
Just what we need.
Dick: Back at
Chateau de la Baismagnée,
Billy's determined to get rid of
the family of wild boar
he caught on camera.
Billy: We've got a bloke
coming today.
And he's bringing a dog,
and he's gonna sort of
walk his dog around.
And it's probably a big, smelly
dog that's gonna leave
a bit of a scent.
And, hopefully, it sort of
deters the wild boars.
Gwendoline: Oui.
Dick: Boars hate the scent
that hounds leave behind.
So Fanny's presence should be
enough to drive the boar
to the bigger forest
of Mayenne five miles away.
Gwendoline: We've got to stay
behind him--
or at least where he is, but not
go in front of the dog,
because otherwise, it takes away
the smell for the dog.
She can smell some boars,
but nothing too fresh so far.
Dick: Wild boar aren't just
a menace to farmers.
There are so many of them in
France, it's estimated they're
responsible for around 25,000
car crashes a year.
Billy: Sometimes you see them
on the motorway.
And it's really, really
dangerous.
I've seen them
in the countryside as well,
so when you're driving about,
you sort of come across them
in the summer, like big
families of them.
Little ones and a big mother.
You've really got to keep away
from them
because they're quite dangerous.
Dick: After 15 minutes,
the signs are promising.
Gwendoline: He showed us some
tracks left by deers,
and he said his dog doesn't care
about the deer smell.
but when she smells boars,
though, she knows.
Like right
now, she can smell some.
Dick: Bingo.
Gwendoline: So this is when
they've been rolling
after they come here and, like,
rub against the trees
to get rid of all the parasites
that have been left.
Dick: It's a different part of
the forest
to where Billy caught them
on camera,
which suggests the problem is
even bigger than they thought.
But after just
an hour's tracking,
Jean [indistinct] is satisfied
his hound's scent has done
the trick.
[Speaking French]
Gwendoline: Tres bien. Merci.
What they want is for
the boars to go
in the big forest of Mayenne...
Billy: Yeah.
Gwendoline: where they've got,
like, loads and loads of room
to, like, be there as boars.
Billy: Hopefully, what he's done
will sort the problem out.
But if not, he might have
to come back again,
maybe with a bigger dog.
Gwendoline: Yeah, or more dogs.
Billy: A smellier dog.
Gwendoline: Yeah. Ha ha!
[Boar grunts]
Dick: Next time...
Angel helps with Michael with
some interior renovations...
Michael: See? That's already
looking much better, that bit.
Angel: I've only just started!
[Laughter]
Dick: while outside...
Billy: It's quite daunting.
Dick: brother Billy and their
dad struggle with the patio.
Billy: Dad, there's nothing
underneath that corner...
Father: Shut up.
Billy: I'd have sacked him
by now if I was paying him.
Dick: A troublesome wall causes
a pileup for Clive and his dad.
Clive: This is a 32-ton truck,
and it's a very, very
old bridge.
Man: Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.
Different man: That's his new
lorry, 185,000 euros.
Dick: And there are little jobs.
Paul: Put that out
so it stands up.
Karen: OK, now.
Paul: Flatten your plank.
Dick: and big jobs for
Karen and Paul.
Paul: I suppose there's no
point going back now, is there?
Man: Down!
Karen: Oh, my God!