Entourage (2004–2011): Season 8, Episode 2 - Out with a Bang - full transcript

I gotta tell you,
hotel living ain't all bad.

Yeah, especially when you're
not paying for any of it.

Who are you judging?
You're not paying for it either.

- But I offered to.
- So did I.

But Vince knew
how traumatized I was

from burning down the house,
didn't wanna make me feel worse.

That makes a lot of sense.

- Yo.
- Yo.

Why you dressed
like it's '04?

All my clothes
burned up in the fire.

"Why are you dressed for
a bisexual paintball tournament?"



- is a better question.
- Agreed.

Bisexual?
This shirt is mad hetero.

Look at these pythons.

You can clearly see I'm hiding
an eight-pack under it.

You haven't had an eight-pack to hide
since the early '70s, Drama.

- If then.
- Whatever.

- How's baby bro?
- Baby bro could not be better, Johnny.

- Good morning to all.
Morning.

- You sleep?
- Not a wink.

- Weird shirt, Johnny.
- Really?

What have you got there, Vin?
- A script.

- For what?
- Johnny's movie.

- Nice.
- You wrote it?

I couldn't sleep.
I just had to get it out.



- It's only 20 pages.
- It's just an outline.

Whatever it is,
I love the proactive effort.

- I'm still the lead, right, bro?
- Of course you are.

Nice.

- So how's it look?
- Your grammar's horrible.

- Who cares?
- We were in the same classes

It's just shocking to me
you can't punctuate.

It was all stream
of consciousness.

You can't really spell
either, Vin.

"Faithful" is F-A-I-T-H-F-E-L.

- It's O-L.
- No, it isn't.

So says you.
- Are you guys all illiterate?

Mrs. Carbone would shoot
herself if she heard this.

Who cares about
my spelling or grammar?

That's not
what this is about.

This is about a start.
A good start to a great story.

We're gonna find you
a great writer

- to help you flesh this thing out.
- I already found one.

- In your room?
- I was thinking,

since Billy did such
a great job on Johnny's show,

we should give him
the first shot at this.

- What do you think?
- I like it.

I love it.

The guy knows my voice
like Scorsese knows De Niro's.

Sloan?

Wow, she must really want you
to get your shit out of her place, huh?

I guess so.
Hello?

- Hey, Eric.
- Hey.

Fuck you!

What'd she say?

- "Fuck you"?
- That's harsh.

- Yeah, I'd say.
- Can somebody really be that mad

- about leftover socks and underwear?
- I don't know.

- At least she called you.
- You still haven't gotten ahold ofAlex?

One tequila ad
and the girl thinks she's Angelina Jolie.

Well, maybe if you were
a little more Brad Pitt,

- she'd share the spotlight with you.
- I don't want the spotlight.

- I just want to talk to my girlfriend.
- It's tough adjusting

to the attention she's getting.
Give her a little more time, Turtle.

Yeah. And what do
I do about Sloan?

Well, I'd get my shit out of there
before she works herself up

- into an Elin Nordegren state.
- I'll go today.

VINCE: Want me to roll with?
ERIC: I'm fine.

I'll just make sure
she's not there.

Make sure to leave a mess. That'll show her
not to talk to you like that.

- Good thinking.
- I was gonna say jerk off on the bed.

- Yeah, that's even a better idea, Turtle.
- All right, off to work.

Have fun, kids.

Still hard to believe
he's got a job.

- Good morning, Ari.
- Why are you lying in wait, Lloyd?

I had some things to tell you and wanted
to be sure to catch you

- before you got distracted.
- Can it wait till I get to my office?

Well, there's two things.
I can tell you one now

- and one when we get to your office.
- You pregnant?

I'd never carry a baby after all the hard work
I've put into this body.

- Speak.
- I had my breakfast meeting

- with Steven Levitan this morning.
- Congrats.

You gonna be the new gay
on Modern Family?

No. I'm gonna
be the new agent

of one of the biggest
showrunners in the business.

- Very impressive.
- It's not a done deal.

Well, make it a done deal
and I'll pay for the lipo

so you can stop fretting about all
that failed dieting.

Keep going.

Well, Mr. Levitan
is concerned

that this may not be
the smartest place for him,

seeing as how our TV department
is kind of defunct.

- Well, tell him it isn't.
- I'm not a good liar, Ari.

Truth is, it needs a new head and I'd like
to be the one to re-funct it.

- Is that the second thing?
- No.

Well, tell that to me
and then I'll decide.

- This one is harder to share.
- You've got 30 seconds!

- My meeting was at Flay's.
- Did they take

the Ari golden corn tamale off the menu?

- No, it's still there.
- What?

Speak or I'll rip your tongue out
and serve it to my son's lizard.

Your wife was there also.

- My wife hates that place.
- I know.

- That's why I found it strange.
- Jake!

Call Flay's and get Robert on the phone.
Who was she with?

I didn't see anyone. And she left in a hurry.
I don't think she saw me.

- Wait, what are you gonna do?
- I'm gonna do what you should have done:

- find out who she was with.
- They said he's not there.

I want you to call any one of his
50 trillion restaurants

- and when you get him, get me.
- Where are you going?

I'm gonna take off.
Clear my schedule.

Him too.
You're coming with me.

Do you think that's wise
given the state of the TV department?

I don't give a fuck
about the TV department.

All I care about
is who convinced my wife

to go to a restaurant
she hates!

Well, if it isn't the balding Kentucky
fried chicken.

- You're pissing me off, Ronald!
- Why? What did I say?

- You told me you had sex with my wife.
- Ruffy! I fucking love this.

Kids, get out here!

You having fun
with this, Billy?

I'm having
the time of my life.

You and Johnny
have amazing chemistry,

probably more so
than we did in Medellin.

- Ah, just show it to him.
- Show me what?

Vince wrote a script.

What is it?
A short?

- Hey.
- Hey.

The producer's come to check on his workers.

- Good to see you, Phil.
- What's going on, Eric? Vince.

Show's looking great.

- Right, isn't it? Come on.
- Really funny.

- Hey guys, let's call it for today.
Almost a two-hour day.

God, I love this job!

Vince, what do you think?
Your brother gonna be a star or what?

I'm loving what
I'm seeing, Phil.

- How you doing?
- Great.

Yeah. My brother
had a meth problem.

It's been a tough road,
but he's fighting the fight.

You ever need
someone to talk to...

- Thanks.
- You got it, bro.

Hey Phil,
you like that scene?

Yeah, it looks great.

Hopefully, an audience will
think so as well, huh?

Why wouldn't they?

I'm just saying.
We're testing the show this afternoon.

- Came by to let you guys know.
- Well, how are you feeling about it?

- How am I feeling about what?
- The show, Phil.

I feel confident.
Andrew, I feel confident.

You know what?
Maybe I'm not as confident as you.

Can we come along, maybe see
a real audience possibly laugh at this stuff?

That would make me feel more confident.
What about you, Drama?

Come on, what happened
to you, Andrew, huh?

This guy used to sell out arenas,
just him and a mike.

Yeah, well, that was a long time ago
and now you got me playing an orangutan.

Now look,
we've all been humbled in this group here.

- Well...
- But we will all prevail.

- I hear that.
- All right. So is that a yes?

- Can we come watch?
- Yeah, you guys can come.

And you... You can come too.

I'll see you later.
I'll send everybody the address.

- Later, Phil.
- You got it.

Jerkoff.

Is this exciting
stuff or what?

- We're gonna murder The Simpsons.
- It's gonna be great.

- Yo, Christian!
- Hey, Drama!

Go fuck yourself.

- What the fuck?
- VINCE: What'd you do?

- No clue.
- Drama, Drama, can I talk to you a second?

Guys, we'll be right there, okay?
Just a walk.

- What? What?
- No, no, no. No, I think it's really cute

how you and the guys
and your manager are like real buddies.

Yeah, we've known each other
since we were little kids.

- You trust him?
- He's like blood. Why?

My ex-wife made the deal
for me on this show

and since the split,
I feel exposed, you know?

I mean, if something
were to come down,

I don't know if I'd have
the faculties to deal with it.

I've been fired off of shows
after test screenings.

- Who hasn't?
- You think the little guy

might take a meeting with me?

- Yeah, of course. Of course.
- Like now?

- E?
- Yeah?

Dice is looking
for proper representation.

- Yeah?
- Yeah. Would you be up for a little sit-down?

- Yeah.
- Today?

- Today?
- Or even sooner.

- I can't do it today.
- He's gotta clear out

all his stuff from his ex's.

Ah, I've been there too many times.
Trust me.

My last ex
incinerated all my stuff.

But my partner's at my office right now
if you wanna sit down and talk to him.

- That's a great idea. You'll love Scott.
- Oh, I get it.

I'm getting handed off already,
but I appreciate it.

- Not gettin' handed off.
- No, I appreciate it, really. Thank you.

Thank you.

Hey Alex, it's me again.

Things are good here,
crazy busy,

but like I said last night
I burned Vince's house down,

so maybe you wanna
give me a call back?

- Alex?
- Voicemail.

I saw her on TV
last night.

- On TV?
- Yeah.

At the Heat game,
floor seats.

She was wearing her Avión t-shirt
and she looked super hot.

I don't wanna get you
jealous or anything,

but I'm pretty sure
Lebron winked at her.

I'm totes kidding.

Real funny.

Oh, is she having
so much fun.

Oh, I talked to her
last night?

She said Miami
is beyond dope.

- You talked to her?
- Yeah.

Really.

Is that okay?

- Totes.
You sure?

- You seem kind of sad.
- Nah. No, I'm not sad.

I'm just trying to hold the fort down
here, all right? So let's get back to work.

Sarah, Abby, you guys
are hitting sunset in the promo van.

And Rachel,
I need you hitting all the gyms and spas.

- I want a line out the door tonight, all right?
- You got it.

- All right, go! Abby, hold on?
- Yeah.

When you talked to Alex,

- did she sound okay? Anything weird?
- No.

You're totally
being weird though.

- No, I'm not.
- You're kinda dressed weird.

- I was sitting there.
- Uh-huh.

I had the muesli
and, okay, I had a chocolate scone,

- but I work hard and I deserve it.
- Where was she?

- Over there.
- Was she alone?

I told you, she was just leaving.

- Was there another place setting?
- I don't remember.

- Focus, Lloyd.
- I'm trying, Ari,

but this all has me very rattled.

Mr. Gold!
How are you?

- Uh, table for two?
- Actually no, James.

I have a question for you.
Did you see my wife this morning?

Oh, I didn't work this morning.
Uh, David did.

- Is everything all right, Mr. Gold?
- Yeah.

- David? Excuse me. Hey.
- Hi, how are you?

- Good.
- Ah, and you too. Back for more?

Actually we're back
'cause I wanna ask you a question.

Did you serve a brunette,
pretty, young-looking 40s, this morning?

- Looks 32.
- Yeah, I know your wife.

She comes in every morning.

- Really? Since when?
- Last few weeks at least.

- Who did she come with?
- No one.

She sits alone.
That's so sad.

I think she misses you, Ari,
and she wants to see your name on the menu.

- Anything else I can do for you?
- No, thank you.

- He seems nice.
- He's an asshole, Lloyd.

Hey Robbie.

Sorry I couldn't help
but overhear, Mr. Gold,

but if your wife is here
alone every morning,

I'm sure David is trying everything
he can to get with her.

- Yeah, my wife would not date that guy.
- Oh dear.

Rumor is he's already
nailed three of the four

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

Bravo couldn't air it because it was too racy.

- But he seems so nice.
- He's a sociopath.

Probably why he's actually a good actor,
unlike most of the waiters in this town.

He's testing for a huge arc
on Mad Men today.

My wife would never date
a fucking waiter.

Some of us do have
good hearts, Mr. Gold,

despite our
social standing.

- So what's he saying?
- Nothing. He hasn't said a word in an hour.

- It's only 20 pages.
- I don't know.

- He's a deep thinker.
- Shh.

- Did you find the watch?
- No, she probably sold it.

- What the fuck?
- I gotta go.

- What the hell are you doing?
- I was, uh, looking for my watch.

In my underwear.

I was looking for other things too.
What are you doing home from work?

I quit my job a few weeks ago.

- Really?
- Really.

I got your
message today.

I was returning your
call from last night.

- And you said "fuck you" to me.
- That's what you said to me.

- What? When?
- Last night.

- I did not.
- Really?

ERIC'S VOICE: Fuck you!

Sloan, that's me yelling
at your answering machine.

I tried four times
to leave a message.

That lady keeps cutting me off,
asking me if I wanna listen to the message,

- replay the message...
- Whatever, Eric.

I don't give a shit.
Here's your watch.

Wow, you were wearing it.

I paid for it.

Pleasure as always, Sloan.

Eric, I didn't mean that.

You really think
I would say that to you?

That's sad, Sloan.

I would never say that to you.
Please know that.

I just hate

that we ended things
with so much anger

after everything
we've been through together.

Me too.

Okay, so what's
your biggest concern?

Getting fucked.
I've been fucked a lot.

- Hear that.
- Who has not been fucked in this town?

- Amen.
- Maybe I've been fucked more than most,

- even him.
- I don't know about that.

Oh, really?
I used to live on three acres in Beverly Hills.

Now I live in an apartment
in Encino with my wife,

my kids and a sick
fucking cat.

- He's got you beat, Drama.
- Maybe 'cause of the cat.

Look, I need somebody that's really gonna
have my back.

I have your back, okay?

And you'll sign me
just like that.

Absolutely. I've seen
Johnny's Bananas.

And I think
it's a massive hit.

- I ain't gonna pay a dime on Bananas.
- Why would you?

I'm gonna get paid
on the next thing and the next thing, Andrew,

is Diceman's Big Comeback.
Look at it.

Huh?
Were you a fan?

Was I fan? I could recite your whole act
when I was in high school.

- Really?
- "Hickory dickory dock,

"this chick was sucking my cock.
The clock struck two,

"I dropped my goo,
and I dumped the bitch at the next block. "

- Fuck with me.
- I think my timing's a little better,

- but you know what? Let's do this.
- Come on.

- Thank you really.
- Hey, thank you.

- Billy...
- Shh.

I like it!

Why can't you
just say that?

Well, I wanted to say it
in a way that'd make you feel good

so that if I tell you
what I don't like you'll still feel good.

I'm not that sensitive,
Billy.

Vince, you've taken the blank page,
you've put something down.

You now know
what it is to have put yourself out there.

And if I were to tell you
that it sucks, it would hurt.

- Does it suck?
- Some of it sucks.

- It does hurt.
- But I can fix it.

So fix it.
Change whatever you want.

I will take nothing personally
because this movie is not for me.

- It's for Johnny.
- Amazing selflessness.

I'm gonna use some of that attitude for
the yellow Lab's personality

- if that's okay.
- It's okay.

- I've got Marci Sanders.
- Put her through.

Is she fucking a waiter?

I don't know anything
about anything.

- Tell me she's not fucking a waiter.
- Ari,

you know I would never
betray my sister.

Your sister and your parents
betrayed you.

They cut you off financially
because they think

- you're an unstable alcoholic...
- It's a matter of opinion.

...who will give all your money away
to the first man that smiles at you.

I'm all you got.
Is she fucking a waiter?

I don't know
if she's fucking anybody!

- Who's she seeing?
- Please. Please?

You owe me, Marci,
all right?

There's no telling what
will happen to those tuition checks

- if I lose my mind.
- Don't you threaten my children!

Lance is doing so well now.
He actually got a C-minus in geometry.

Great. Maybe he's
ready to get a job then.

All right, Ari.

Look, she said
she's got some guy

at a restaurant,

but that she's too embarrassed
to tell me about him.

And that's all
I really know. Really.

Embarrassed?

Lloyd!

She's fucking a waiter.

Yes, Ari.

Do you still wanna be head
of the TV department?

I would let you pull out
all my fingernails with pliers for the honor.

I want you to call over
to the Mad Men offices.

I want you to get everyone
from Matt Weiner to the PAs

to treat that waiter like shit,
humiliate him and send him packing.

- I don't know if I can...
- If I see that kid on the Mad Men set,

I'm gonna be
a mad fucking man, all right?

If I see him anywhere,
even as a puss-faced zombie

in The Walking Dead,
I'm gonna shoot someone in the head.

Get it done!

- VINCE: You didn't say anything?
- No. Neither of us did.

- Did you say anything during?
- I don't remember.

- What, did you tell her you love her?
- No.

- Well, do you?
- Of course I love her.

I'll always love her.
We were supposed to get married next month.

Yeah, no shit.
My gift was non-refundable.

You know,
we never even really officially broke up.

I mean, we basically
had a massive fight and I left.

I think it was officially over when
she canceled the catering

- and sent the ring back.
- Hey look, E,

you're saving
yourself a lot of heartache and a lot of money.

- Marriage is for suckers.
- Dice, didn't you just get married?

- Yeah, but I'm weak.
- So how did you leave it then?

We didn't.
She just got up and left.

Wait, I thought...
I thought you were at her place.

- We were.
- She left her own house?

- I love that.
- Yo, what did I miss?

E and Sloan got back together
and then broke up again.

Really? Good,
we'll all be single again

'cause I think I'm gonna break up
with Alex too.

That is shocking.

Yeah, she's a good girl.

No, no, it's shocking that he could break up
with anybody.

- Ah.
- What happened?

She called Abby,
but she hasn't called me.

Maybe she's gone lesbo
and is too ashamed to tell you.

Who would be ashamed of that?

I really think she wants the fame
more than me.

- She's the Avión girl.
- Yeah.

Get the fuck out of here.
She's hot.

- Yeah.
- How did you get her?

I don't know, Dice.

And you banged Tony
Soprano's daughter for awhile.

- What, did you google me? Yeah, I did.
- Guy must have a horse cock.

No, no, I've shared
a locker room with him. It was...

Phil!

What's the word?

- I got scores. Um...
- What? No good?

- Through the roof.
- Yeah!

We air in three weeks
and it cannot come sooner.

Hey, Scott Lavin.
I represent Dice.

Lucky you. The guy's a star.
I gotta get back.

- Congratulations, Phil.
- Later, bro.

- I knew it, I knew it.
- You did not.

- You were nervous.
- No, I just don't count my chickens

before they hatch.
But now that they have, I am clear.

- We are golden.
- We always were golden.

And hey, Drama,
once I finish that movie,

you might have two
Emmy nods this year, huh?

Oh please God, please, please, please,
I've suffered enough.

- I deserve good things.
- They're coming, Johnny. They're coming.

Let's hit the bar.
E and Turtle could use a drink.

Yes.
ERIC: No kidding.

Drama, can I talk
to you a second?

We'll be right there.
Just got to talk to Drama for a second.

- I'll see you guys out there. What's up?
- Nothing.

You know,
I gotta thank you for the gig.

- Please.
- No. I was dead.

You asked them to look at me
and they did.

That's 'cause I knew you would kill it.
And you did.

- Yeah, but um...
- But what?

But our deal sucks.
They're paying us shit.

- That's 'cause we had no leverage.
- Well, you know what?

- I say we walk.
- Walk where?

- Off the show.
- The show hasn't even aired yet.

Yeah, but we've already won.
You heard Phil.

After they exploit our voices
and sell 1 0 million of them fucking monkeys

- without giving us a dime...
- You're fucking with me, right?

No. You know what I say?
We do the fucking.

Me and you, Drama,
we do the fucking.

- Let's talk to our people.
- You know what?

First we talk and then we walk.

Drama,
we do the fucking!

Good afternoon, TMA.

Please hold.

Ari's wife is here.

Really?
Uh...

Okay, yeah.
Thanks.

Ari, your wife's here.

Hello, hello!
It's been too long.

I saw you peering at me
from behind the latte machine this morning.

I know.
I'm so sorry.

I just saw you. And I don't think I've ever
not seen you two together,

- so I... I just wish you were together!
- I know, Lloyd.

Because you are like the perfect couple.
Like Lady Di and Charles.

Lady Di and Charles
got divorced and then she died.

- Now shut the fuck up.
- I'm sorry. Bye-bye. My intentions are good.

- All right, his intentions are good.
- What's going on?

Can we talk about this in your office, please?

Yeah, sure.

- So...
- My sister is hysterical!

- What? Why?
- She doesn't wanna be in the middle of this.

- The middle of what?
- Ari, we are separated.

You need to stay
out of my life.

Well,
your separate life

creeps into my life,
all right?

You'd have to move
to Iowa for it not to.

- As it is...
- Did you screw up

David's audition at Mad Men?

David? You're actually
seeing a fucking waiter?

Would you really just randomly try and
destroy someone's life?

A waiter who is fucking
my wife at a restaurant

that I basically built
is not random.

Did you really
ruin his audition?

You know, I'm not
gonna answer that until you do.

Ari, please!
You need to let me live my life.

If there's any chance
of us ever getting back together,

I need to explore
other things.

If there's any chance for us
to get back together,

you cannot be exploring
a fucking waiter!

- It is humiliating!
- First of all,

it is far less humiliating than the things
that you've put me through over the years.

And second of all,

I'm not dating David.

Then how do you know about this
and why do you care?

Because I am dating
someone who cares.

- Who?
- His boss.

Bobby? Flay.

- You're dating a cook?
- He's a chef, Ari.

And he's a businessman.

And he's kind
and respectful and generous.

He's a redheaded fire crotch.
He's a genetic mistake.

Jesus, Ari, you are
such a child. I...

Hey, if you have
any sense of decency,

you will fix what
you did to David.

Everyone hear my words:

Bobby Flay

which means he is yours.

Now if anyone
eats or even recommends

any one of that Boy Meets Grill
fuck's establishments,

it will be
agent meets fist!

Hey, Alex, I don't know
if you remember me.

It's your
boyfriend Turtle.

This is the last time
I'm calling you.

So give me a call back, tell me why you're not
calling me. Or don't.

- Voicemail?
- Yep.

- Did you talk to Sloan?
- Nope.

Maybe you should call up another girl,
get your mind off her.

I just had sex with Sloan two hours ago.
I'm not gonna call another girl.

- Double-headers are the best.
- Yeah. Just shower.

No, fuck that.
I wouldn't even brush my teeth.

Just splash a little water on it.
You're good to go.

I feel guilty, is all, all right? I feel like
I took advantage of Sloan.

I'm not gonna call
another girl to hang out.

Okay, guys, leave E alone.
He's gonna get sad

- and then none of us get to go out.
- Thank you.

Turtle, will you grab
that for me?

- It's Sloan.
- Oy.

- It's fate.
- No, it's not fate. It's nauseating.

- Answer it.
- And say what?

Whatever
you were gonna say.

Tell her
you want her back.

Tell her thank you
for the sex.

- I'll do it, I'll do it.
- Give me the phone.

- Hello?
- Hey.

- Hey.
- I'm sorry.

- Sorry for what?
- For leaving.

That's okay.
I'm sorry too.

- I hope I didn't confuse things.
- No, E, I'm not confused.

- It's all good.
- I still feel bad though.

I don't know. I feel like maybe I should
buy you dinner or something.

No.

Really. It was nice to,
um, see you again.

I feel like I needed
some closure.

- Yeah.
- I wanted to tell you, but we got distracted.

Yeah.

I quit my job because
I'm moving to New York.

- Oh.
- But I'm happy.

Well, that's good.

- Yeah.
- Good luck with that.

Thank you.
Good luck here too, E.

- Thanks.
- Okay. So maybe we will talk again soon.

Yeah, I hope so.

Bye.

What happened?
Are you all right?

Yeah. It's all good.
Sloan is moving to New York.

Wow.

Poor guy must fuck
like dogshit.

You abandoned me

Love don't live here anymore

Just a vacancy

Love don't live here anymore

When you lived inside of me

There was nothin' I could conceive

That you wouldn't do for me

Trouble seemed so far away

You changed that right away, baby

You abandoned me

Love don't live here anymore

Just a vacancy

Love don't live here anymore