Entourage (2004–2011): Season 6, Episode 3 - One Car, Two Car, Red Car, Blue Car - full transcript

Turtle considers a new career path and enlists Ari's help. Charlie's new TV show may spell problems for Eric.

Ashley?

- Ashley?
- Ashley: Hey.

Oh, hey.
I thought you left.

No, I'm here.
I made coffee.

Oh, cool.

I hope you don't mind
that I'm watching your pilot.

Uh, no.
I don't mind.

Since you would
never show it to me.

I would have showed it to you.

What?
What's so funny?

Oh, no.
I was laughing at you.



Oh. I thought you were
laughing at the show.

I was laughing
at the show earlier.

- Oh yeah?
- Yeah. Which one's your client?

The black kid.
He plays Renoir.

Oh really?
I hate him.

Do you really need to give me
a hard time today, Ma?

Everyone's giving me
a hard time today, Turtle.

I'm the laughingstock
of the salon.

Come on,
what's the big deal?

Did you see this caption?

"She's dating him?!"

Question mark,
exclamation point, in bold.

- At least I look good.
- No, you don't.

You look like shit.
Sneakers with a tuxedo?



- They're patent leather.
- They're ridiculous.

- Ma, this is really not a great birthday call.
- Maybe it's a wakeup call.

You're no spring chicken anymore, Turtle.
Get it together.

- I'm trying.
- I know you are.

And I love you.

I love you too.

Have a happy birthday.

Thanks.

Jesus, take it easy.

I didn't even
ask her to watch it.

And who says something
like that anyway?

- Maybe she's trying to be constructive.
- I hate him?

- That's constructive?
- I hate when people tell me they hate me.

I didn't even ask her
to sleep over.

- She just did.
- That's bullshit.

This morning she used
my French press and broke it.

Jesus Christ, E.
You know what?

- Now I hate her.
- So do I. She's done.

Okay, so she's done. So why are
you letting her make you insecure?

I'm not letting her
make me insecure.

Only a bitch lets a bitch
make them insecure anyway.

I'm not letting her make me insecure, Drama.
But you of all people

should know how stressful
a test screening can be.

I'm on a hit series now.
Test screenings are long behind me.

So sorry if I can't
coagulate with you.

I don't think you're using
that word properly, Johnny.

- Really?
- Whatever.

Just pray this test
screening goes well.

'Cause Charlie really needs it
and so does the Murphy Group.

You should have let me do
that cameo they wanted me to do.

Then you'd both
have had no worries.

You might have.
I don't think Scorsese'd be thrilled

- to see you rolling around on the CW.
- No, you're probably right.

- Ew, what are you doing?
- We're gonna pray.

Get off me.

- What are you guys doing here?
- Turtle!

- The birthday boy.
- Happy birthday, Turtle.

- Thanks, Vin.
- I made you your favorite,

with a little twist.

Interesting.
Thanks.

What's wrong?

- My mother's mean.
- Drama: She always was.

Remember your 13th birthday?
She got you a Weight Watchers membership.

- Didn't until now.
- What did she say?

She saw the "People"
magazine pictures.

- The sneakers.
- She thinks I'm a loser.

Turtle, you're in a magazine
that's published all across the world.

You're not a loser.
Now knock it off.

Come on, we have a lot of fun planned
for you this birthday.

Yeah?
What are we doing?

I have a little practice
to do on the track.

So what, you want me
to drive you there?

No, but I do want
you to drive.

If you bump me, Drama,
I'm gonna kill you.

If anybody bumps anybody
in these cars, I'm gonna kill them.

Quit your whining, fellas.
I'm playing to win.

You sure you got
the nerves, baby bro?

Vince:
Oh, I'm quite sure, Johnny.

- Oh, and by the way, Turtle.
- Yeah, Vin?

Vince: I'm dedicating
this victory to you, kid.

Drama: Never happen.

Yeah?
We'll see.

Whoo-hoo-hoo!

Yeah!
Yeah!

Damn!

That was awesome.

Unreal. Who would have thought
I just got my license?

I think I need
a Ferrari.

In this economy?

People will think
you're a real douchebag.

Whoa whoa whoa.

Forget what people think.
Whoo!

This thing is a beast.

Ahem.

What?

Happy birthday, Turtle.

- Are you kidding?
- My gift's on the front seat.

- Vin, I can't take this.
- Yes, you can.

- It's a $200,000 car.
- $240, actually.

But I'm playing Enzo Ferrari,
so I got 10% off.

Seriously, I don't
feel right about this.

I didn't feel right about the last car
I gave you getting repossessed.

Besides, I've had a great year
and you're my good luck charm.

So please enjoy.

- Okay.
- Happy birthday, Turtle.

It's Charlie.

Hey, what's up?

- Any word?
- Not yet,

but I'll call you
as soon as I hear something.

Look, I'm nervous, E.
I don't like tests.

Me either, but I think
we're gonna be okay.

Look, would you call my mom
and tell her that?

Yeah, I will. And I'll call you soon
as I hear something.

- All right, man.
- All right, later.

This kid's a mess.

And you're a rock.

I'm going to Ari's
for the state of the union.

I'll catch up
with you guys later.

Make sure it's strong.
I still got to pay for this.

I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
It's all paid for.

- Good afternoon, Mr. Murphy.
- Mr. Murphy?

Mr. Gold is ready
and awaiting your arrival.

Good, but what's
with the "Mr. Murphy"?

Mr. Gold has asked me
to be more formal

when speaking with the clients,
even the ones I consider friends.

- Well, I don't like it.
- Oh, please tell him, because I don't either.

- But please don't tell him I don't.
- I won't.

Would you like a kiwi-strawberry
diet Hansen's?

Uh, no thanks.
I'm fine.

Mr. Gold,
Mr. Murphy is here.

Indeed he is.

- Why are you smiling?
- I'm not smiling. I was...

- Don't, this is an office.
- But...

Did you offer Mr. Murphy
his favorite beverage?

Yes.
He declined.

Lloyd has memorized all
my clients' favorite drinks.

Oh.

- I said no smiling.
- Yes, sir, Mr. Gold.

- What are you doing to the guy?
- I'm making him a man.

- Do you remember when I made you one?
- Yes, I do.

- And did you thank me?
- No.

- What's wrong?
- I'm a little stressed out.

Testing Charlie's
pilot today, so...

TV? You're stressed out
over TV?

You're in the feature
film business.

And thanks to me
you're now conquering it.

Talk to me, Ari.
What have we got?

We got a $9 million offer
from Paramount.

We got a $10 million
offer from Fox.

And we got a $12 million
offer from Universal.

- I like it. Any of them good?
- They're all good.

Which one is the best?
We'll have to read to decide.

Well, you know Vince's new motto...
line 'em up.

Line 'em up we will. See,
this town isn't so rough after all.

Oh wow, this is the studio.

- Do you mind if I take this here?
- What else do I have to do?

- Hey, Amy.
- Hey, Eric.

- How were the scores?
- Well...

the show tested 87%.

- Excellent or very good.
- 87? That's amazing, right?

It is.
It's not all positive.

- What do you mean?
- Charlie didn't score as well.

- What did he score?
- 59.

59? Jesus, what does
that mean?

It means we're gonna
replace him.

What's this sudden
panic, Turtle?

- I don't want you to miss out on this.
- I don't either.

Every time I get in a cab with some
smelly guy wiping snot on his sleeve

I dream of a world where this
hot broad picks me up in a limo.

Lim-hos is
a home run, Turtle.

But if you want the money from me,
you're gonna have to wait.

I can't wait anymore. You got
to understand, I need a partner now.

I understand.
Just go ask Vince.

- He's given me enough.
- Yeah, I hear ya.

Oh well.
Sorry, brother.

Yeah, me too.
I'll talk to you later, Ronnie.

- Yo, Turtle.
- Yo, Curtis. What's up?

What's up, man? I see you out
here in your daddy's car.

Don't be somber.
At least you look good.

Eric:
This is bullshit.

First they bring in some hack
to rewrite his script,

now they're gonna replace him
as an actor on his own show?

- Happens all the time.
- Yeah, well, it's not right.

The world is a cold
and heartless place.

What am I supposed
to do, Ari?

E, it's real simple.
You stay on as producer

or you walk out of pride.
Either way Charlie's going.

- This is unbelievable.
- Take heart.

You produce 100 episodes
of even mediocre television

and you can send the kid
a Gulfstream to cry on.

- Oh!
- What the fuck?

I'm trying to snap you
out of your funk.

- I'm not in a funk.
- You are a little off though, Turtle.

It's birthday blues, I guess.

You got a hot car
and a hot girlfriend coming over.

- What do you have to be blue about?
- It's my birthday.

I can be whatever color I want.

- Yello?
- Hey, Vince.

- Yo, what's up, Charlie?
- E's not there, is he?

- No he's not. Everything okay?
- I don't know.

I haven't heard anything from him.
I think he's avoiding me.

- I'm freaking out over here.
- He's not avoiding you, Charlie.

- All right, then where is he?
- I don't know.

But if I hear from him
I'll have him hit you back.

- All right, man. Thanks.
- Cool. Bye.

- What's up?
- E's M.I.A.

Maybe he's just so small
that nobody can find him.

Wow. Even when he's not here
to defend himself.

I can't help it, bro.
I'm sorry.

That's probably Jamie.

Oh-ho-ho!

Turtle: Oh, you've got
to be kidding me.

- Both: What?
- Nothing. Stay here.

- Happy birthday.
- What did you do?

Drama: Damn, Turtle,
you're cleaning up.

You don't like it?

What's so funny?

- We should have coagulated.
- What do you mean?

That's my gift.

- Oh no.
- Yup.

Drama:
Unbelievable.

Jamie:
Well, you deserve everything.

Why do you guys think
I'm such a loser?

Loser? What are you
talking about?

I knew you
didn't have a car.

- I can buy my own car.
- How?

But I thought
you'd really like it.

I do like it.
Of course I like it.

Then enjoy it.

Come on, you want
to take me for a spin?

Yeah. There's something
I got to do real quick.

Can I drop you at home
and then see you at dinner?

- Yeah, sure.
- Okay.

Enjoy your new car.

Yo, E, it's Vince.
I haven't heard from you all day

and Charlie called.
Where you at? Call me.

No answer.

Oh, Jeez.

Renoir, man.
Today is your lucky day.

I'm parting with one
of my favorite decks.

- Giving Grassers first shot at it.
- Let me check it out.

Hello?
Eric.

You scared the shit
out of me.

Me too. What are you
still doing here?

Oh, I'm sorry. Your bed was just
so comfortable I didn't want to leave.

Oh, it's 3:00.

I didn't know you had
a check-out time.

- No, I don't. I just...
- I can go.

No, it's okay. I'm just gonna
watch the pilot again.

Oh, did you get any word
on the screening?

Yeah, they hated him
just like you did.

Oh, God, I'm so sorry.
I feel bad.

I shouldn't have put that
out there in the universe.

Well, I don't think that's why
they hated him, but thanks.

Okay, well, why do you
think they hated him?

I don't know. That's what
I'm gonna try to figure out.

- Well, do you want a second eye?
- Sure.

- Ashley.
- Hmm?

I'm sorry.

- I'll go put pants on.
- Thank you.

Or we could watch
it upstairs.

- I'll cover up.
- I can't focus.

So just don't
let me distract you.

We get that, all right?
Give it to them.

But at the same time,
we've got to give them...

excuse me, everybody.
I'll be right back.

Turtle, what's up?
Everything okay with Vince?

- Oh yeah, Vince is fine.
- Oh, thank God.

I thought you were gonna tell me you
ran over him with the Ferrari.

- No.
- Then what are you doing here?

I was wondering if I could
talk to you for a minute.

- Talk to me about what?
- Career advice.

- For who?
- For me.

- But you don't have a career.
- Five minutes.

- I'm in a meeting.
- Come on, Ari.

It's my birthday.

Five minutes.

Lloyd, tell them
I'll be right back.

- What's up, Lloyd?
- Hello, Mr... Turtle.

What's up?

I'm looking for funding
for a business idea that I have.

- Did you go to a bank?
- Yeah.

They laughed in my face
'cause I have no collateral.

Did you tell them about
your hat collection?

- Come on, Ari.
- You live with a guy

who just gave you
a quarter-of-a-million-dollar car.

- You need money, go to him.
- I'm trying to do this on my own.

Coming here asking me for money
is not doing it on your own.

No no no, I'm not asking you
for money. I'm asking you

to put me in touch with people
who invest in businesses

and I know you know
those kinds of people.

You've stuck with Vince
through all the rough times.

Now he's on easy street and you want
to branch out on your own?

- You two have a fight?
- No.

I just think it's time for me
to make something of myself.

Turtle, do you know
what it takes

to make something
of yourself?

I mean, come on.
I worked a job

through college and grad school.
Lloyd!

- Yes, Mr. Gold?
- Hit the stack.

In front of people?
I'm not performing.

- "The Kingdom of Foibles. "
- "The Kingdom of Foibles"

written by Karen Brown.

"A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's
Court" meets "Die Hard. "

A man awakes
in the midst of...

This man can quote
from the entire stack.

That is what he's willing
to put in for his own success.

He's paying his dues.
When have you paid yours?

I'm willing to pay them now.
And I have a great idea.

So do all these idiots.
Can you execute it?

I think I can.

In this life,
no one is going to invest

because you think
you can.

Do you have
a business plan?

No. I mean,
I haven't sat down and put...

What do you need? Office space,
insurance? How many employees?

What do you project to earn?
What do you need to break even?

At what point
can your investors

- see some profit?
- I don't know!

I don't know.

Look...

when my son was born,

my greatest fear was having
this conversation.

I knew that I would give
him anything he wanted

because he was my son
and I couldn't say no.

Which sucks, 'cause it
wouldn't help him

and he'd just end up on the street
doing heroin with the two Coreys

because I was too much
of a pussy to teach him a lesson.

I won't make that mistake with you.
Just say no.

I can pull this off, Ari.

Come back to me
when you can prove it.

Um, no, ma'am.
I don't think that's the case.

Why?

Well, because skateboards
don't get flat tires.

No, I'm not calling
your son a liar whatsoever.

Hold on.
Can you quiet that damn bird?

What, you don't
like birds?

No, I just don't like
anything that talks that much.

Hello? No, Mrs. Henderson,
I wasn't talking to you.

What?

Why does he have to keep
yelling at the bird?

Because it's funny.

- Not to me it isn't.
- You think that's one of the reasons

people don't like him,
'cause he yelled at the bird?

It's one of the reasons
I don't like him.

But I'm a big
animal lover, so...

What are some of
the other reasons?

I don't know.

You don't know?

I don't want to say it.

You're gonna hold back now?
You already told me you hate him.

So what specifically
about him do you hate?

- I think he sucks.
- You think he sucks?

Yes, and you have to think
he sucks also, Eric.

Because he
really does suck.

I mean, he seems nervous
and uncomfortable.

It makes me nervous and uncomfortable
just to watch him.

- Are you mad?
- No. I'm not mad.

I guess that's probably why
I didn't fight more

when they said they wanted
to replace him.

- So he sucks.
- Yeah, okay, he sucks.

- Well, doesn't that feel better?
- No.

It doesn't.
I found him.

I sold this show...
his show.

He put a year of work into it
and I can't do anything to help him.

But you can try. You're very persuasive
when you want to be.

- You think?
- I wanted to go home

with Drama the night we met.

What am I supposed to do?
Tell him I think he's great?

You're in sales...
that's what you do.

Wow, it's been a whole 10 minutes
since I've been called

by one of the Jonas Brothers.
What's up, E?

When you told me to get
rid of Charlie,

was that your honest answer
or were you just looking out for Vince?

Vince is my client who is
producing the show with you.

- So of course I'm looking out for him.
- Oh, come on, Ari.

Vince doesn't care about the show, you
know that. He's a producer in name only.

But Charlie is my client
who I do care about.

So if you pretended to care about him
and you were me, what would you do?

- What's the difference?
- I'd like to try to do something.

What I'm capable of doing
and what you're capable of doing

are two totally
different things.

- What would you do?
- I would make a scene

of biblical proportions. I would lie,
scream, beg, borrow and steal.

And if that somehow
didn't part Amy Miller's legs,

then I would call racism.
And I would yell for all to hear,

"You're really gonna fire my poor black
client off the show he created?!

I'm calling NAACP,
the Reverend Al Sharpton

and the ghost
of my man Malcolm X."

Awesome.

I guess
I'll try my own thing.

Good luck.

- Is she in?
- Yes, let me tell her you're here.

- I'll tell her.
- Mr. Murphy...

I just want you to know that what
you guys are doing is disgusting.

Charlie busted his ass for you and you
guys are gonna toss him because, what?

40 idiots from Modesto
who had nothing better to do today

than to watch a pilot
in order to get a free lunch

claim they didn't like him?
I liked him!

That's why I signed him. And you
liked him, that's why you cast him.

You were right.
Don't doubt yourself now.

Charlie Williams is this
network's next superstar.

- Do you really believe that?
- Yeah.

I do.

Okay.
Well, I'm sorry. We don't.

There is no way that Charlie Williams
is going to be acting in this show.

Well, then maybe
you're a racist.

I can't believe
you actually said that.

Yeah, me either. You should have seen
the look on Amy Miller's face.

I can only imagine.

- Now I've gotta go see Charlie's face.
- I had to fire my brother once.

- Really?
- From a paper route. It was rough.

- My parents wouldn't talk to me for a week.
- That's a good story, Ari.

- E.
- Yeah?

- At least you went for it.
- So what?

- Where did it get me?
- Some much needed lying experience.

- So?
- Next time you'll come up with a better lie.

You're the one
that told me to say that.

Yeah, but I can't believe
you actually did.

- Me either.
- Listen, E,

- I'm proud of you.
- Thanks, Ari.

- Later.
- Later.

Are you trying to teach
someone how to lie?

What?
No!

And how could you fire
Uncle Howard?

Turtle: You're really
not going to get me a gift?

No, I'm really not.

Because grown men shouldn't buy
other grown men birthday gifts

unless they're fucking.

- No offense, bro.
- No offense taken, Johnny.

But come on!
It's the kid's 30th birthday.

E got him something.
You gotta get him something.

With the mood he was in all day?
No way.

- He's not in a mood anymore.
- Huh-uh.

- Why not? What happened?
- Tell them.

I was gonna wait till we sat down,
until E comes.

No one knows where E is.
Come on, speak up.

I'm going back to school.

What?

- Yep.
- Get out of here. Really?

It was my idea... so he can learn how
to really run a business.

- Wow, impressive!
- Really impressive.

- Thanks.
- You know what? Stevie?

Get us the best bottle
of wine in the house.

- You got it, Vince.
- Jamie: Very nice.

You know, I saw on CNN
that sending a child to school

should run
around $200,000.

This is a birthday gift
I'd be proud to give.

- I got you covered.
- Jesus, Johnny!

That' great, Drama,
but this is UCLA Extension...

Business Management
courses... $1292.

- Oh. It's the thought that counts.
- Yeah.

Johnny, did you
know that?

- I did.
- Oh my God.

Of course he did.
I should've let him write the check.

- Seriously.
- Vince, are you guys ready to sit?

Yes, we are.

- Oh, look at here.
- Vince: Where the hell have you been?

They fired Charlie
off the pilot today.

- Ow.
- Oh man, that's awful.

I had to tell him.
That was really awful.

Oh, that poor bastard. I cried
every time I got fired from a pilot.

And we're off the show too, Vince.
I can't do this without Charlie.

- No, of course not.
- You're not mad?

Mad? No, I just feel
sorry for Charlie.

- I mean, you and me, we're okay.
- Yeah.

- No?
- Yeah.

- Yo, we'll meet you guys over in a sec.
- Yeah.

- What up?
- I would have liked this for me too.

You know, prove I could pull
my own weight on this deal.

You have pulled your own weight.
That's why I am where I am.

The team is all good,
so what's really going on?

- What do you mean?
- Is it about Sloan?

- What?
- Want to prove you can get out

from under
the Vincent Chase shadow?

Hey, look,
I'll support you all I can,

but I can't help it if the shadow
just keeps growing larger.

It's actually not about Sloan.
I like Ashley.

- Really? You hated her this morning.
- Yeah, well, things changed.

Everywhere it seems.

- Turtle's going to school.
- Really?

Everybody wants to be
their own man, I guess.

But don't worry, E, it's all good.
I'm gonna let you buy dinner.

- Oh, thanks.
- Drama: Hey, E!

- This wine is insane.
- It should be. It is not cheap.

- Two more bottles, please.
- Really?

- Yeah, E's buying dinner.
- Big spender!

Happy birthday, Turtle.
Here we go.

Thank you, guys,
thank you.