Entourage (2004–2011): Season 6, Episode 10 - Berried Alive - full transcript

- I'm not calling her again.
- I wouldn't.

What could I have possibly
done wrong this time?

- You won't know unless you call.
- So you think I should call?

- If you want to know what you did wrong.
- All right, I'll call.

I'm not calling because
I didn't do anything.

- Good for you, taking a stand.
- A stand against what?

A stand against women who get mad at us
when we haven't even done anything.

When have you
had that, Turtle?

I've had everything
you've had.

Jamie mad at you
about something?

No, but she did get weird
when I told her



about the sorority girls
rolling around in my underwear.

What did she say?
- Nothing much.

Just that she's driving me
to school from now on.

- Ooh, that make you nervous?
- No, why should it?

Maybe 'cause you're still
thinking about that one girl.

- Thinking about her?
- Yeah, like you want to bang her.

- Stop. I have a girlfriend.
- Oh, so you don't want to bang her?

I don't even want to think about
banging her 'cause I have a girlfriend.

Good for you, Turtle.

Why, you think
I should bang her?

No no no no.

But it would be normal
if you did think about it.

I am thinking about it.
I feel very guilty.

Yo, Johnny.
What's up?



- How was work?
- Awful.

Stacy, can I get another
one of these, please?

- Amstel.
- I'll have one of those too.

- Okay, Turtle?
- Driving.

- All right.
- What happened?

Apparently
the facial lacerations

that Coakley made them
give me are infected and

- my character's got staph or something.
- Whoa.

In tonight's scene,
my speech was slurred

so they had to rush me
to the hospital.

I think my character's
heading for a coma.

- Jesus.
- Yeah.

I can't take
much more of this.

At least you're still
getting a paycheck.

I didn't get into this business
for a paycheck, Turtle.

I got into this business so that
the world could see my talent.

Oh, Christ.
This just ain't my night.

- What happened?
- See the guy who walked in over there?

- Don't look!
- You said, "See the guy over there?"

- Now I'm telling you don't look at him.
- Who is he?

It's the producer that
fired me from "Melrose Place. "

God, don't see me.

Hold on a second.
Johnny Chase!

- Johnny Chase.
- Hey, Phil Yagoda.

- How the hell are you?
- What's going on, man? I'm good.

- Been a long time.
- Yeah yeah.

This is my brother Vince,
Turtle and Eric.

- Hey, guys. Big fan.
- Thanks.

So how're you doing?
Show's doing great?

Yeah yeah.
Loving it there.

It's just one of the great working
experiences of my life.

- Beautiful.
- No offense.

None taken, man. We had some
good times back in the day.

Yeah, it did take me

to Crazy Girls
after you canned me.

I didn't can you.
Higher ups than me did.

- Yeah, well...
- I can't believe you're sitting here, man.

I literally was
just thinking about you.

Yeah?
Why?

Well, we're gearing up
to do "Melrose" 2009

and, um...

There's a part
you're perfect for.

- Really?
- Yeah.

You would work
with me again?

Yeah, Johnny.

In a second, man,
if you were available.

Hey, nice to see you, man.

- Take care, guys.
- See you, man.

Can you imagine me back
on "Melrose Place"?

Talk about
a return-to-glory story.

You're not available so stop
killing yourself about it.

Maybe I could get out of
my "Five Towns" contract.

Coakley said he's gonna torture you
for the rest of your life.

- You know that's never gonna happen.
- Never say never.

Come on, let's have
some positivity, people.

- Think it's possible, bro?
- Anything's possible, Johnny.

- What should I do?
- Call your agent.

It's 6:00 in the morning.

I didn't mean
right this second.

Yeah, maybe I'll wait
30 minutes.

- Where are you going?
- I'm going to Ashley's.

- I got to know what I did.
- You've been drinking.

Yeah, okay, you're right.
Turtle, you gonna drive me?

What happened
to taking a stand?

- Come on, get up. I need a ride.
- Good luck.

I can't wait any longer.

Well, you have
no temperature.

Check it again.
I know I'm dying.

You're not dying. Leaving Ari
has you fearing for your life, maybe.

But this is going to be the best thing
that's ever happened to you.

Trust me.

- Is it Ari?
- Nope, Johnny Chase.

My only client.

What if he doesn't
want to come with me?

Convey confidence
and he will.

All right?

- Hi, Johnny.
- Hey, Lloyd, I got some news.

I do as well. I've left Ari
for greener pastures.

I'd like a commitment from you
that you're coming with me.

- You left Ari?
- I'm working with Adam Davies now.

- Jesus Christ, not today!
- There's nothing to worry about.

Look, I think maybe I can
get on the new "Melrose Place"

if I can get out of
my "Five Towns" contract.

- Johnny...
- Lloyd, I need you to find out if it's true.

If it is, see if you can
get me out of that contract.

Are you gonna
come with me?

Take care of what I just
told you and we'll talk.

Later.
I am so screwed.

Christ, I've got
work to do.

Grab me a handful
of Xanaxs, would you?

I'm okay, I'm in work mode.
Go!

Stop stop stop.

You want me
to wait?

No, I'm all good.

You are
a confident drunk.

Jesus Christ, Eric.
What are you doing?

- Let me in.
- Go to the front.

- What time is it?
- It's early.

- You didn't call me back.
- I was going to.

I didn't feel like waiting.

- I don't want to get in a fight.
- Me either.

But I know I'm in trouble.
And since I know I didn't do anything

why don't you tell me what the problem
is so I can clear this up?

- Are you drunk?
- Not really.

What did I do?

Okay, who is Rupert Pupkin?

- What?
- Yesterday morning when the phone rang

- you said it was Turtle.
- It was.

- Then you said it was Drama.
- It was.

Then the caller I.D. Said
it was Rupert Pupkin.

Jesus.

Who is Rupert Pupkin?

It's, uh...

well, he's a guy I've been
seeing on the side.

I'm kidding.
It's Vince's alias.

- His alias?
- Yeah, he can't be calling people

and Vincent Chase comes up.
It's from "King of Comedy. "

- Why don't you trust me?
- I don't know.

You're gonna have to learn to
or it's never gonna work.

This is why I didn't
want to talk last night.

I don't want
to be grilling you.

- Something about us is off.
- We're not off.

I'm not like this.

Then what are you like?
Tell me, please, I want to know.

Eric, it's like 7:00 A.M.

Good, that way we can sleep
before I go to work.

Uh, sleep?

Yeah, trust me.

- Okay, fine.
- Okay.

- Baby.
- Yeah?

I woke up with wood.

And why is that
my problem?

- Just take care of me.
- How about you take care of me?

Come on, I have to work all day.
I don't want to work now.

- Sorry.
- Okay, fine.

Jesus.

- Rupert Pupkin?
- Vince.

- Hello?
- Oh God.

Baby, I need
at least a blowjob.

Blow yourself.

Yo, buddy.

Yo, Ari, sorry for
calling so early.

- Everything okay?
- Yeah, I'm fine.

- It's Johnny.
- I'm freaking out, Ari.

What's the problem?

He heard Lloyd's going
over to Adam Davies.

- Ari?
- Adam Davies?

Yeah, I assumed you knew.

Of course I knew.

Good riddance.
What's Drama worried about?

He's got a career crisis going on
and he's not sure Lloyd can handle it.

- Of course he can't handle it.
- I'm desperate for help, Ari.

Help is on the way.
Just give me the details.

I'm sorry you feel
that way, Ari.

You're sorry, Lloyd?!

You have no idea how sorry
you're going to be.

I am going to destroy you.

I am going to erode

every fiber
of your spirit.

You no longer exist.

You are dead to me.

And the town will know
that anyone meeting with you,

speaking with you
or even nodding to you

on the street
will be dead as well.

So die, Lloyd.
Die die die!

And when you're gagging
on Davies' balls

I want you to bite down
so he can die too.

Call Dan Coakley's office,

set up an emergency
meeting ASAP.

Welcome, Lloyd.

- Glad to have you onboard.
- Glad to be here, thank you.

Come on back. Gonna get an office
ready for you after lunch.

But in the meantime, you can
use the conference room

and Jeff here will help
you with anything you need.

- Thank you so much.
- Mm-hmm.

Jeff, get Dan Coakley on the phone.
Tell him it's regarding Johnny Chase.

And call Phil Yagoda over at "Melrose
Place. " I need to speak with him as well.

Got it.

Work mode already.
I love it.

Tell John I said
welcome back.

Will do.

Okay, so the reason I didn't
want to see you last night was

- 'cause I needed time to formulate a plan.
- What do you mean?

I mean, you show up and come at me
all like, "What's your deal?"

- And I wasn't prepared.
- So now you're prepared?

Yes.

- Should I be worried?
- No.

You should be excited because
I think I figured out

how to deal with all
this shit and move past it.

Anything you need.

Well, first off, I need
to know that your assistant

who wants to ride you
will not be a problem.

- My assistant?
- The one that looks like a playmate.

She doesn't want to ride me.
What are you talking about?

Trust me, she does.

When I stopped by your office
she was giving me dirty looks.

- I think you're imagining things.
- I know what I saw.

Look, I like you, okay?
I want this to work.

So just tell me
what you need.

I want to read
your emails.

You want to read
my emails?

Just from the last
week or so.

I just want to see
who you've been talking to

and how you've been
talking to them.

If there's nothing weird,
I'll never ask again.

- Are you serious?
- Yes.

And you can read mine too.

I want us to have totally
open and honest relationship.

Here.

Johnny: Why is nobody
calling me back?

- This is a freaking nightmare.
- It's early, Johnny.

Relax, Ari said
he'd handle it.

What if he doesn't? I miss this,
I may never get another opportunity.

- Drama, you got to calm down.
- I can't calm down.

Come on, ring, phone.
Ring, God damn it! Ring!

That's Jamie.

- All right, guys.
- Have fun.

- Okay, I'm nervous.
- About what?

- You haven't done anything.
- Yeah.

- Man up, Turtle.
- All right. Good luck.

- Later.
- Later.

Finally.

- Give me something good, Lloyd.
- I spoke with Phil Yagoda.

- Yeah?
- "Melrose" is real. Phil likes you

for the role but you'd have
to test for the network.

How many other people
are testing?

- They have no one else right now.
- I like those odds.

If you don't get it,
you'll have nothing.

So my recommendation personally is
you stick with the paycheck you have.

No way. This opportunity
is meant to be.

I'm walking dead
at "Five Towns. "

- Have you spoken to Coakley yet?
- I left word.

- Leave word again.
- I'm into it, Johnny.

So is Ari, Lloyd.
Just so you know.

I wish you hadn't done that.
Why did you do that, Johnny?

'Cause this
is my life, Lloyd.

Try Dan Coakley again now.

Since when do you get involved
in low-level TV actor discussions?

- Since now, Dan.
- Since it's Vincent Chase's brother.

I'm asking for a favor, all right?
Cut the kid loose.

But, Ari, come on.
You don't understand

how much happy it makes me
to see him suffer.

You're on
the waiting list at Riv.

How happy would it make you
to be a member?

- You can move me up that list?
- I can move mountains, Dan.

And all I've got to do is just
let him out of his contract?

I'm sorry, a Lloyd Lee
on the line again.

He says it's truly urgent.

One other thing
you'd have to do.

I'm sorry, Mr. Lee, but Mr. Coakley
says that any discussions

about Johnny Chase will have
to be with his agent Ari Gold,

and that he will not be
returning your call ever.

Ever?

Why would he
when you're a dead man?

I'm everywhere, Lloyd.

I can't believe you handed
over your Berry.

I didn't know what to do.
I was so shocked.

You should have told her
to file a subpoena.

You have nothing
to hide anyway.

- No, what do I have to hide?
- Nothing.

- I got to go to work.
- Enjoy.

I'll talk to you later.

Morning, Brit.
Any calls?

Yeah, you got a bunch
of messages.

Thanks.
You okay?

Yeah.

Okay.

Actually...

- I need to apologize.
- For what?

Yesterday when your girlfriend came in,
I think I was kind of rude.

Really?
She didn't mention anything.

Oh good. Good, I'm relieved.
I was just distracted.

Oh, sorry.
Everything all right?

Yeah, just some
boy trouble.

- Oh, sorry.
- I'll deal.

If you ever need
to talk about anything.

- With you?
- Yeah.

We should be able to talk
about that stuff, right?

Is there something
on your mind, Eric?

Actually...

would you ever ask a guy
to read his emails?

No.
I'd just look at them.

I'm kidding.

- Did Ashley?
- Yes.

Why?
What did you do?

- I didn't do anything.
- You had to have.

I lied to her once
about my ex calling.

- Do you still see her?
- My ex? Not like that.

The last time I saw her
I ditched her for Ashley.

- So Ashley's paranoid?
- Yeah, she's got some trust issues.

- Obviously.
- So you don't think she's warranted?

No, I think she's crazy.

- Are you okay?
- Yeah, why?

- You're acting weird.
- Weird?

Yeah, you're so quiet.

No, just thinking
about class,

hoping there's not
like a pop quiz.

Do you get those
in college?

No.

What's wrong?

Nothing.
Really.

Tell me about
this meeting.

Okay, well,
it's Josh Schwartz

and he's got this
new show that I love.

It's called "Runaways"
and it's about these two girls

who are completely
in debt and jobless

and hate their lives
and they run away to L.A.

It's really good.

But I have to do
a "Bahston" accent.

I've never really
done an accent.

- You could do it.
- You think?

I know you can.
And I know you're gonna get this.

- I feel it.
- Thanks.

Are those the whores
that stole your underwear?

What?

The sorority hos
that are staring at us.

Yeah, I think so.

The brunette's
pretty cute.

You think?

You don't think so?

Nah, she's not my type.

- Okay, you'd better get to class.
- Yup.

If my meeting finishes
early I'll pick you up.

Don't worry about it. Vince is bored
and he wants to drive.

- Good luck at your meeting.
- Thanks.

- Turtle!
- Yeah?

Come here.

How did you do it, Ari?
How?

That's what I do.
I part seas.

Don't try to comprehend it.
Just be thankful

that you've been blessed
with the proximity to it.

- I can't thank you enough.
- Actually, you can.

- How?
- By staying with me.

By not going with Lloyd.

You want to represent me?

Hell yeah.
You're family.

I wouldn't have
it any other way.

Make sure you kill
that test.

I will, Ari.
Thanks.

- My pleasure. Bye.
- Bye.

I'm off "Five Towns. "

- How do you feel?
- Relieved.

You've got to be shitting me.

Lloyd, here's the bottom line,
as hard as it is to hear.

I let you be my agent
because Ari would not be.

We had some fun.

And now not only does
Ari want to sign me,

but he took care of what
you could not take care of.

What else is there to say?

Johnny Drama, I got you
on "Five Towns. "

- Ari has never even seen it.
- Really?

I don't think he's seen
anything you've ever done.

- How is that possible?
- I've seen everything

from "Viking Quest"
to the new "New Love Boat. "

That pilot never even aired.

You were a tremendous
young Merrill Stubing.

- You think?
- I know.

Johnny, you've been my one client
for over two years.

And I will continue to treat you
like you're my only client

for the rest of your career.
Will Ari?

I will be devastated if I lose you,
Johnny Drama.

You think Ari
will even care?

I believe in your talent.
Does Ari?

Or does he want you because
he doesn't want to piss off Vince?

Or does he want you
just so he can piss me off?

This is the first day
of the rest of your life.

What do you want?

Brittany thinks
Ashley's crazy.

- Vince: I think Brittany wants you.
- So Ashley's not crazy?

She may be,
but I think regardless,

Brittany's trying
to move her out of the way.

- So what do I do?
- How hot is Brittany?

Will you stop it, Vince?

You want me to come down there
and move her out of your way?

Vince.

Look, E, how did you feel
about that email thing?

Well, I feel violated.

Your instincts about
Ashley from minute one

were that all signs
pointed to crazy.

- I guess I need to end it.
- I think you do.

I wasn't expecting
so much math.

It is a business
class, Turtle.

- Yeah.
- But I think you're doing great.

- Thanks. See you Friday.
- All right.

So wow, you and Jamie
are like a real couple, huh?

- What did you think?
- I don't know.

I mean, you see stuff in tabloids
and never really know if it's true or not.

It is.

- That's too bad.
- Yeah.

- Yo, Turtle.
- Yo.

Is that Vincent Chase?

Yeah.
Got to go.

- Who are you?
- I'm Turtle.

See you later.

What up?

- That the girl?
- Yup.

- She's cute.
- Yup.

You all right?

I'm in the middle of a serious love
triangle, Vin.

- It's never happened to me before.
- It's nice, isn't it?

No, it's not nice.
It's freaking me out.

- Ari.
- Yeah?

- A Johnny Chase is here for you.
- Hey, Drama, what's happening?

Not much. Thought I'd come by
and see my new agent.

Ah.

Look, if you're busy
I can come back.

Yeah, I've got
a stack of scripts.

- You want to grab lunch?
- Lunch?

- My treat.
- No, I-I can't grab lunch.

I understand.

Maybe tomorrow.

Or dinner.
Or breakfast.

Is there something
you want to talk about?

Do you like me, Ari?

You're freaking
me out, Drama.

- Do you think I'm talented?
- Are you having a breakdown?

No, seriously.
I want to know.

Yes, I think
you are talented.

- What have you liked me in?
- Okay, what is this about?

I want to know
why you want to sign me.

Did Lloyd call you?

He couldn't have possibly
made an impression.

- He believes in me.
- He is a child.

- But he believes in me.
- So do I.

- Do you?
- Yes.

Or do you hate him
so much

that you'd take me
to spite him?

- Drama...
- Just answer me, Ari.

Do you believe in my talent?
Because this is my life.

What you did for me
today was amazing.

I'll never forget it. If you really
want me here, I'm here.

But you've got
to be honest with me.

You've got to look me in the face
and tell me that you believe in my talent

or you've got to let me go.

Go.

But it's because
I like you, all right.

And believe me, that little prick's gonna
have plenty of time to take care of you.

- Thank you, Ari.
- Good luck to you, Drama.

And tell that man of yours
to keep his eyes pinned wide open

'cause I'm gonna
be gunning for him.

I will.

All right, Lloyd,
I'll sign with you.

Yippie-ki-yay,
motherfucker!

- Calm down, Lloyd.
- I can't.

We're gonna make magic
together, Johnny Drama.

Let me just please
get this show.

You will. I believe in you,
Johnny Drama!

- I believe!
- Thanks, Lloyd. Later.

Thank you.

- Hey.
- Hey.

- Sorry I'm late.
- No problem.

- I got stuck on a conference call.
- That's okay.

I wanted to talk
to you about something.

I wanted to talk
to you too.

Can I go first?

Yeah, sure.
Go ahead.

Sorry.

That's okay.

I feel awful.

I should not have asked you
to show me your emails.

It's just that if we're going
to have a relationship...

That's what I want
to talk to you about.

Oh.

I think part of the reason
you're feeling insecure...

Sorry about that.

I thought I turned
this thing off.

Ahem. I think part of the reason
that you're feeling insecure

is because
I'm not totally there.

Are you breaking
up with me?

It's just not a good time
for me right now, Ashley.

But this morning
you felt different?

Who is that?

Calm down.
It's just my office.

- Just your assistant, you mean.
- Yeah, she does work for me.

And what else
does she do for you?

Is that what this
is really about?

I was right,
wasn't I?

She wants you
and you like it.

Answer the phone if not.

- Let's hear you talk to her.
- No.

- Why, 'cause you're lying?
- Because it's not even her.

- Who is it then, Sloan?
- Would you calm down, please?

Don't tell me to calm down.
Just tell me who it is!

It's my aunt. Are you happy?
Look.

- I'm sorry.
- I should go.

- Please don't.
- There's nothing left to talk about.

I can't believe this.

You know, you are really
a piece-of-shit liar.

You love fucking with me, don't you?
You just said this morning

you wanted to be exclusive so you could
use me and pull this shit now.

I can't believe I fell
for your nice-guy act.

You are really sick.

- I'm sorry you feel that way.
- And I'm sorry you're a douchebag.

Look, I didn't lie
to you about anything.

I actually liked you.

But you show up at
the premiere uninvited,

you check my phone,
you listen to my messages,

you want my emails.

You say you're not crazy,
but all signs point to the contrary.

I'm sorry.

Hey, anything important?
I was just eating dinner.

Brittany:
She ask to see blood samples?

- No.
- You sound sad.

- I broke up with her.
- Oh.

- Come meet me for a drink.
- I don't think that's such a good idea.

Eric, don't be ridiculous.
I'm not after you.

But I've got a couple
of cute friends who might be.

- And you're sad.
- I'm not sad.

Okay.

- Are your friends cute?
- My friends are hot.

- Maybe call some of your friends?
- Okay.

We're at the Green Door.
Hurry up.

I'll see you
in 15 minutes.

This time you're doing
single right, E.

- Like you?
- You know it, son.

Some people actually like
being in a relationship.

Indeed.
Love is underrated.

- What?
- No, it's...

I just broke up with someone recently
and I'm feeling pretty miserable.

- He was a prick.
- Loser.

Yeah.

- If you're looking for a rebound...
- I'm not.

I'm not either.

So how do you think E will
last on the open market?

Nine days.

I think someone will
pick him off pretty quickly.

Not me.
I'm a career gal.

Which means you don't look
at her either, Vince.

No one goes near my assistant.
You hear that, Drama?

Don't worry, I'm on a no-sex-till-I-book-
"Melrose" thing anyway.

Oh, that's too bad.

I'm kidding.

Speaking of girlfriends.

You guys mind
keeping it down?

She's being a little
jealous lately.

Hey, babe. You ready for me
to pick you up?

Yeah, but my agent
just called me.

- Did you get the role?
- Not that one.

But they offered me the lead
in another series.

That's great.
Is it good?

- It's great.
- That's awesome.

But it shoots
in New Zealand.