Entourage (2004–2011): Season 5, Episode 9 - Pie - full transcript

Rise and shine,
morning glories.

First day of production.

Wake up!

Wake up.
Baby bro starts shooting today.

We all need to be up to support him.

Hell, I'm up!

- Whoa!
- You are now, son.

Let's go, manager.

Your number-one client
starts shooting today.

- I don't think you want to miss it.
- Jesus.

Baby bro.
Baby bro.



Yeah, Johnny.

How'd you get down here?

I've been up for hours.
You blew right past me.

- Really?
- Yup.

- Ready for work today?
- Getting there.

You want me to make you anything
special for breakfast?

No, I'm okay.
I'm not really hungry.

Not hungry?

Hopefully it's just
first day jitters, bro.

Leave him alone, Drama.
He's fine.

He barely slept last night,
now he doesn't want to eat.

He's not fine.

- Here, drink a Powerade, bro.
- No thanks.

- Get your electrolytes up.
- No thank you.



This is not the best way to start the most
important job of your career.

- You trying to freak him out?
- No, I'm trying to calm him.

Yeah, well, you're not.
You're making us all crazy.

Nah, he's not getting crazy.
Vince ain't like us, E.

He's cool as ice, right?

Actually, I am a bit nervous.

- God damn it, I knew it.
- Will you shut up, Drama, please?

- You shut up.
- What's the problem, Vin?

I don't know.
I just feel a bit off.

I haven't been on a set
in over a year.

It's like riding a bike.
You just do what you do.

Verner hasn't even had
a second to talk to me about my character.

Can you even understand that guy?

Sounds like a cat
with a German hairball.

The guy's won two
foreign Academy Awards.

He's a good director.
Really good.

- So this is all good?
- It's all good.

- What's your first scene?
- Entering the brush with Jason Patric.

Nice.
I like Jason Patric.

You know, when he was doing "Rush"
he stuck real needles in his arm to prep.

That's what inspired
me to do real coke

when I did the Menendez
Brothers movie.

Weren't you an extra on that?

So?
Still kept it real like J. P. Does.

Okay, now you're
freaking me out, Johnny.

Sorry, bro.

Don't worry about it, Vince.
It's gonna be like all

the other movies you've done.
Only a little bit bigger.

11 and 15, fire.

Six, seven, fire.

- 22, 24.
- Holy shit.

Fire 45 to 60.

Fire.

- Okay, number 60, fire.
- Jesus.

Camera three and two,
closer, closer.

Okay, all choppers,
now follow me.

This is gonna be sick.

Any word from the forest?

Vince got his start gift
and he says thank you.

Great.
What did I get him?

A sea salt scrub
from Bliss Spa.

- Are you kidding me?
- Yes, of course I am.

You got him a jet ski
for the lake out there.

Great.
I have amazing taste.

Good work, Lloyd.
What's my fortune cookie tell me?

That you've got lunch
with Andrew Klein and that you cannot...

Cancel it.
- You cannot cancel it.

I'm the boss.
I can do whatever I want.

Ari, you've canceled on
him six times already.

- You can't cancel again.
- I don't want to sit at lunch with him.

- It makes me sad.
- Why?

Because it reminds me
of what I might've become.

- A TV lit agent in Encino.
- You did not become that, Ari.

So sit at lunch with him
and feel good about that.

You sit at lunch with him
knowing you could be him

- one day if you don't listen to me.
- When do I not listen to you?

Right now when
I'm telling you to cancel it.

Andrew Klein was once your
close friend and mentor.

Now go reminisce and enjoy yourself
because I'm not canceling.

Maybe put on
a cheaper watch though

so he doesn't
feel too bad.

Run down to Geary's
and get me a stainless Rolex.

I know what's in
there waiting for me.

And nine other brave souls
knew what was waiting for them.

There's no way
I cannot go now.

Maybe try it with a little
more emotion, bro.

I'm just memorizing,
Johnny, thanks.

Saving it up for in front
of the cameras, right, Vin?

- Yup.
- Just checking.

We're ready
for you, Mr. Chase.

- Okay.
- Show time.

You know, you did mess up
that one line, though.

- I did?
- Yeah.

You said nine other
brave souls

as opposed to the eight
other brave souls.

Oh, right.
Obviously.

Jesus, when do I
mess up lines?

Just write the number
eight down on the inside of your palm.

This way you can
just sneak a peek.

I do that shit
all the time.

Or, who was number eight
on the basketball team?

- You were, Turtle.
- Think of that.

Good tip.

- Vincent.
- Hey, Verner.

I thought you were
shortening your hair.

- I wasn't told.
- It's fine.

Doesn't matter.
You ready to go?

Yeah, I'd love
a minute to discuss

what you want me to do
with this character.

There's nothing to discuss.
We shoot it.

And if I don't like it
I will tell you.

But I'm sure I will like it.
Okay?

- Okay.
- Jason!

Verner, is this pack
regulation or what?

- Yes, it is.
- Feels light to me.

No, it is the correct
weight, Jason.

Do you know Vincent Chase?

- Not personally. I'm a big fan.
- Yeah, me too.

What do you weigh, Vin?

Uh, 170.

You know, they offered
me that Aquaman 2.

Really?

Not really.

Sequels, water, come on, my friend.
It's not for me.

Well, me either,
I guess.

That's funny.

- Okay, let's shoot.
- Aren't we gonna rehearse first?

No, we shoot
the rehearsal.

Love that!

- Break a leg, bro.
- Knock 'em dead, Vince.

Cue the fire!

The fire's coming
from the west.

The west winds are blowing
out of control.

We'll have to bring
in more men, sir.

There are no more men
to bring in.

You know what's waiting
in there for you.

And eight other brave souls
knew what was waiting for them.

There's no way
you can't go now.

- That's Vince's line.
- Cut!

Perfect, let's move on.

- One take?
- Yes!

Love that!

Ari.

- Andrew.
- Hey.

Andrew.
There he is.

Come here.

- How are you, Andrew?
- Pretty good. Pretty good.

God, you look great.

Thank you.
Try to keep healthy.

- Yeah. Yeah, sure.
- You know.

- Should we sit?
- Oh, yeah, sorry.

These fuckers.
They're not honoring my reservation.

So they're saying a table is gonna take
about 30 minutes.

So I thought we'd just eat
at the bar, if that's okay.

Bar is great.

Barkeep, can I have another Macallan 18
neat for my buddy here?

You're still drinking
Scotch, I assume?

Not usually for lunch.

But it's a special
occasion.

Come on.
It's been a long time.

I remember the last time
I had a drink with you

I ended up covering
your boss' phones

while you fucked
that cocktail waitress

you snuck into the mailroom.
Remember that?

I could not believe the sounds
coming out of that room.

Well, you know what?
She did a nice job.

- Did she?
- Yeah.

I'm so happy for you,
believe me.

You almost got me fired.
You remember that?

You accidentally dropped
that conference call with John Ritter.

- No, it was John Goodman.
- Was it?

Yeah, and I didn't
feel badly at all.

I figured maybe I was
doing you a favor.

I love it.
Come here, you dick.

- Oh, man.
- We had some good times.

Too many.

We should not let too much
time pass this time.

No, for sure we shouldn't.

What's wrong?
You all right?

Yeah, it's just,

this wasn't just
a friendly call.

Oh no?

- How was lunch?
- Pricey.

- In Encino?
- He needs a loan, Lloyd.

- Oy.
- Half a mil.

Double oy.
Well, you don't have to give it to him.

Yes I do.
Andy and I were once brothers.

A twist of fate turned
one of us into gold

and one of us into,
well, a broke,

desperate, begging-for-money cocksucker.

What are those?

His books.
Company books.

He gave them to me to prove
that he could pay me back.

What am I doing? You're Asian,
you're supposed to be good with numbers.

Figure out if he has any shot
of paying me back.

Because if he doesn't,
you will!

- Maybe it was a mistake.
- Maybe.

Seems like
an odd mistake.

The guy does a movie
every five years.

Maybe he's trying to make up for it by
saying extra words.

- You got to talk to him.
- What am I gonna say?

Say, "Hey, Jason, you got a literacy
problem or did you just steal my lines?"

- What if he says I did?
- We may have to get tough with him.

I hear he's like
a fifth-degree black belt.

I'll get tough.
I'm just saying the guy's intense.

All right, relax. No one's getting tough.
I'm sure it was an accident.

Yeah, a bad accident.

I mean, it was a major
moment for my character

to say I'm man enough
to go into this fire.

And now I basically
bail on it.

Why didn't the director
say anything?

Why didn't anybody
say anything?

The script supervisor?
Nobody.

'Cause it's Jason Patric
and everyone's scared of him.

But Turtle's right.
You got to nip this in the bud.

That's how a star
marks his territory.

Andrew Shue did the same
thing to me on "Melrose. "

- How'd you stop him?
- I banged his girl.

- What did that do?
- I don't know, but she was booming.

I'm gonna go talk to him.

- Right behind you.
- Alone.

All right, Vin.
Go get him.

Hey, remind him he got
molested in "Sleepers. "

That'll throw him
off balance.

What?

Yeah, Jason, it's Vince.

Come in.

- Hey, Vince.
- Hey.

- Everything okay?
- Yeah.

I just wanted to talk
about the scene.

Thank you.
I feel good about it.

How do you feel you did?

I felt good.
I just...

Good.
I thought you were pretty good too.

- Thank you.
- I did.

- So I...
- You want a protein shake?

- No, I'm...
- You should have a protein shake.

Juice, get him a shake.
Just give him the pads.

- So it's about the...
- Put 'em on.

I just wanted to talk
to you about the lines.

- Yeah, good ones, aren't they?
- Yeah.

A lot of 'em.
Come on.

So if we...
It's really hot in here.

Isn't it?

You know how hot it can get when wood
combusts, don't you?

3000 degrees.

Hot.

I like to jack up the heat, acclimate
my body a little bit, you know?

I'm good.

Okay, um, so...

Some life we're living,
isn't it, Vince?

Some life.

I'm gonna do
some crunches.

Okay.

You pussed out.

Yup.

Take longer, Lloyd.
Seriously.

- I'm almost finished.
- How big of a loser is he?

Andrew Klein
is no loser, Ari.

- Andrew Klein is a big winner.
- How so?

It looks like he just has a little cash flow
problem brought on by the strike.

- He quietly has a very nice business.
- Really?

Unless these books
are cooked,

I think he pays you back
in full in 90 days.

Wow.

Did you know that he has over 50 writers
staffed on TV shows?

- That's unbelievable.
- He's an anonymous star,

wrongly judged by
the location of his office.

Jesus, he made some money
last year, huh?

And paid some out.
Look what his assistant made.

- You want to work in the Valley, Lloyd?
- Mmm-hmm.

You know, Andrew Klein was
me when we were younger.

We were the same.
Rising stars.

Both made lots of money.
Both got tons of pussy.

- What happened?
- We both married too young.

I meant with work.

When Terrance
and Jim Oliver split,

they ended up dividing
up the agency.

I went with Terrance,
Andrew went with Jim.

Jim ended up ripping off
all of his clients

and his employees.
And Andrew...

Never made it back
to the big time again.

That's sad.

Get him on the phone.
I want to have drinks tonight.

You're gonna give him
the loan, Ari?

I'm gonna do a lot more
than that, Lloyd.

I'm gonna give
him a life.

Maybe someday you'll
give me one too.

Ari Gold calling
for Andrew Klein.

Verner.

This?

Okay, no problem.

All right, I used to have
a chair with my name on it.

Oh, Jason, take mine.
Take mine.

Juice, go get my chair.

- Where?
- Just find it.

What are you
smiling about?

- Jesus.
- I love it.

I want everybody
on this set to be aware

that Mr. Jason Patric's
seat back is missing.

I know you probably
think that this will be a good souvenir

to show
your children someday,

but to me it's a severe
breach of trust.

I want you to return it immediately
and everything will be forgotten.

If not and you're found
out later,

you will be
treated as harshly

as humanly possible.

- Should I give it back?
- No way.

He just said if you give it back now
he's not gonna...

He's German,
Don't trust him.

E?

Hide it
in Jason's trailer.

- Hey, how's it going?
- Everything's good with us.

- You good?
- Yeah, I'm feeling good.

Okay, people.
Let's shoot.

Vince, you drink the shake?

- Uh, yeah, I...
- Fish oil in there.

Focus. You ready
to make history?

- Absolutely.
- Let's do it.

Come on.

Got to push the defensive line!

Sir.
Sir, Malone is down

I can't do it.

I keep thinking
about Janine.

What kind of father
would I be?

You'll be fine.

We're going in together
and I will have your back.

I'm sorry, can we take it back?
What?

- That's Vince's line again.
- This guy's a klepto.

- Don't cut.
- I'm really sorry.

It threw me a little when you said
the "You'll be fine" line.

- I thought it was me.
- Keep rolling, keep rolling.

Just go back.
- Okay, from "What kind of father?"

Action!

What kind of father
would I be?

- You'll...
- You'll be fine.

We're going in together
and I will have your back.

- This is nuts.
- Shue all over again.

And cut.
Thank you, great.

Take five.

I'm not gonna end up saying
a word in this movie.

You want me to go
talk to Verner?

No, I'll do it.

So how is Marlo doing?

- Well she's the same.
- Yeah?

Older, flabbier.

Didn't we swear that we wouldn't keep
the women past 45?

My New Year's resolution
since 1996.

But it never took.

- How are the kids?
- The kids are great.

- Yeah?
- No Hollywood for them.

- God is on my side.
- You really don't love this town, huh?

I'm not really
in this town, Ari.

I'm a subspecies
all my own.

And you like that?

You know, yeah.
It's been okay for me.

Really?

Okay, Ari, what are you
doing to me?

- Are you gonna make me beg?
- No, I'm not gonna make you beg.

Just remember when you
wanted to buy your first car

out here who cosigned
the loan agreement.

Andrew...

I don't want to give
you the loan.

All right, I understand.
No hard feelings.

I want to buy your company.

- Buy my company?
- Yeah.

Why would I want to sell?

So you can get back
to the place that you were supposed to be.

I'm doing great.
It's just a cash flow problem.

Andrew, you're like LeBron James
if he was playing in Spain.

Sure people know he's good,

but no one wants to eat paella
while watching basketball.

I'm not gonna
sell my company.

I understand if you don't
want to give me a loan.

I want to give you a life,

the life that you and I were supposed
to have together.

You'll make more money,

you'll have more responsibility,
you'll feel better about yourself.

- Ari.
- The loan is yours if you want it.

But there's a better
offer on the table.

I need a drink.

Waiter, another Scotch.

Make it two, actually.
Doubles.

Hey, how are you?

- I have pages for Mr. Patric.
- You can leave those with me.

I'll make sure Mr. Patric gets them
as soon as he comes out.

Okay.

Would you hurry up, Drama?

Easy does it, Turtle.
Easy does it.

All you had to do
was hide the chair back in there.

Come on.

I took the opportunity to
inflict a little damage.

- What kind of damage?
- The number two kind.

You took a shit
in his trailer?

And sue me
if I forgot to flush.

Are you serious?

Let's just say revenge
is best served

- a la commode.
- Ugh, gross.

Then we have a track
around there.

One crane there and one crane there.

- Hi.
- Hey.

First day of shooting,
we popped the cherry.

- So how you feeling?
- I feel good.

Good.
I know some actors

can be thrown by
my way of working.

You know,
no rehearsals and such.

I totally understand.
Everyone has their process.

Yes, it has worked very well
for me in the past.

I think that the lack
of preparation

gives you a more
natural performance.

Well, as long
as you're happy.

I'm happy.
But you seem troubled.

What's on your mind?

It's just a couple
of my lines.

Your lines?
You don't like them?

Oh no, actually
I really love them.

It's just that Jason
ended up saying them.

- Oh, that.
- You're aware of it?

Of course I'm aware of it.
It's my set.

I'm aware of everything
that happens.

He's good.
He's good too.

You, take him away.

- You're not troubled by it?
- No.

When I got Jason
to agree to do this

I knew that I was
hiring an actor

that was very fiery
and volatile,

but also capable of
a brilliant performance.

So what then?

So it means

I have to pick my battles

or I might lose them
altogether.

What about me?

You, Vincent,

you're stable.

I don't have to worry
about losing you, do I?

I'm just afraid
of losing my character

if he doesn't go into that fire.
You're not worried about that?

I actually think that when we get to
that scene in the third act

where you are overcome
with smoke,

I think your turning point
will be much better,

more interesting this way.

- Really?
- Really.

So let me keep an eye
on the big picture

and you keep
an eye on you.

Okay?

How'd it go?

I think old Verner's
a bigger pussy than I am.

Someone's got to put
a stop to this.

Juice!

Fucking flush.

- Brad Pitt.
- No, that's not true.

Oh, which part isn't true?

You never
could have signed him.

What are you talking about?
It was 1989.

It was before they even wrote
"Thelma and Louise"

and you and I were sitting
with him at Nikki Blair's

and you said, and I quote here,
"I don't see it. "

- I did not.
- Yes, you did.

- You were with your wife.
- Oh shit.

That's right.
He flirted with her.

That's why I said it.

- Jesus Christ, Andrew.
- You're telling me.

I wish he'd fucked her.
Shit, I wish he'd married her.

Honey, can I get
a round here?

You want another
shot at Brad Pitt?

No, Ari. That's not what
I want anymore.

- You're bullshitting me.
- What?

What?
I am my own boss.

I come and go as I please.
I answer to no one.

You answer to TV hacks.

And a glamorous night out
is an invite to the Writer's Guild Awards.

You don't know what
you're talking about.

I know that you repped
Marc Cherry for a decade.

And it was the decade that
he lived at home with his mom.

And I know that as soon as "Desperate
Housewives" hit number one,

he left you for that schmuck
over at William Morris.

You stick with me
and I swear to you

no one will leave
you again.

I can't even imagine

- trying to talk to these people anymore.
- I can.

I can imagine you selling
them the way you sold me.

I mean, do you remember
when I was gonna walk

and go back to Chicago
and become a lawyer?

- The speech you gave me?
- It wasn't much of a speech.

I just said, "Do you really want to die
a loser fucking lawyer in Chicago?"

Do you really want
to die a loser lit agent in the Valley?

Why are you really
doing this, Ari?

Hmm?
Guilt?

You feel bad 'cause I didn't
end up where you are?

I mean, maybe it would have
turned out this way anyway.

You know?
Maybe this was my destiny.

Bullshit.
Destiny brought us here.

The fucking cocksucking
writer's strike brought us here.

- Andrew, come on.
- Why do you believe in me?

Why after all this time?

Instincts.
I follow my instincts. That's all I got.

If you follow me
I swear to you

it's a game changer.

We were a great team then,
we'll be a great team now.

That head of hair
is too good for the Valley.

I'm telling you.

Come on.

Okay, okay.

Yeah, let's do it.

Thank you.
Let's do it.

I won't let you down.

I need a minute.
I'm sorry.

All right.

Another round.
We're celebrating.

What, are you drunk, Ari?

Drunk on life, Babs.

- What do you want?
- Expansion. It's time.

I've been begging you for months.
What have you got?

Small literary shop servicing
over 65 working TV writers

with less than
five agents.

- I like it.
- Grossed over five million last year.

I really like it.
Which company?

Klein-Kuddler.
You heard of them?

- Is that Andrew Klein?
- Yup.

- No go, the guy's a loser.
- No he's not.

I'm not talking about
what he makes, Ari.

I'm talking about
his general essence.

We need to project
a certain image.

And that washout doesn't
exactly fit the bill.

And what do you project,
menopausal chic?

He's not big agency
material, Ari. No go.

I wasn't calling you
for your permission.

Well, read your partnership
agreements then, Ari.

Because my permission
is exactly what you need.

Barbara.

I thought you
killed it today.

Killed it?
I was basically moving scenery.

But at least you
looked good, bro.

You got two big scenes coming up
that he's not in so you can make up for it.

He'll probably jump
out of a tree and steal those lines too.

We got a few more
tricks up our sleeves.

Just say the word
and we'll have him in tears.

I appreciate it, Johnny.
Thanks.

I hate to see you
like this, Vin.

- I'm sorry, Turtle.
- I know what might cheer you up.

I saw your favorite, banana cream pie,
over on the buffet table.

- I can grab you a slice.
- That would be nice, thanks.

Slimy thief
approaching at 3 o'clock.

Control yourself,
Drama.

Good work, Vince.

- I try.
- See you tomorrow, man.

Jason, I loved
your work in "Narc. "

Really, really
inspirational stuff, man.

- Really? Thanks.
- Take it easy.

What the hell was that?

Hey.

Get a paper towel,
will you?

Thought you were
getting me pie.

Got you a cookie.

What about the pie?

- Jason took it.
- What do you mean?

I mean, I waited in line
and when I got to the pie

he swooped in
and took the last piece.

- And you let him?
- He's imposing.

That's it.
Hey, Jason.

What's up, Vince?

Did you take that pie
from Turtle?

Turtle?

Yeah, this guy.
My friend.

He's waiting in line for
this pie and you took it.

- I did?
- You kinda did.

Oh, I'm sorry
about that, man.

And while we're on the subject, you kinda
took a few of my lines today too.

- Tell him, bro.
- What lines?

All of them.

I don't seem to be
following where we're going,

but there seems to be
a bit of a problem here.

Yeah, the big monologue
in the first scene,

advice to Malone
in the third scene.

- Verner gave me those lines.
- Verner?

Verner, our director.

I assumed you knew that.

- Well, I didn't.
- Now you do.

So why don't you go
take that up with him?

Because any confusion that there seems
to be has nothing to do with me.

Hello.

I want to
thank you, everybody,

for a fantastic first day.

Auf uns!