Entourage (2004–2011): Season 5, Episode 10 - Seth Green Day - full transcript

Good morning, Mr. Murphy.
This is Amy Miller's office.

I have Charlie Williams on the line.

- Can you please hold for Amy?
- Sure, what's up, Charlie?

- Yo, E, what's up?
- What, are you working out?

No, man, no, no, no.
Just was up all night.

Didn't get no sleep.
A little nervous.

Nothing to be nervous about.
Your script is great.

Charlie: Oh yeah.

Jesus, Charlie.

- Gentlemen.
Hey, Amy.

Hey, Amy.
What's up?



I loved your script
is what's up.

- Are you serious?
- That's phenomenal.

Cool.
When do we shoot?

Okay, slow down.
We need to cast the other roles first.

All right, we can do that.
- You got anybody in mind?

I do for the owner
of the surf shop.

And, Eric, I hope you don't mind that
I already spoke with him about it.

- Who?
- Seth Green.

- Seth Green?
- Shit, I love Seth Green.

Great, we have
an overall with him,

so we just think it would
be a perfect fit.

- He could be. What you think, E?
- Uh-huh.

Eric, he said you guys
were really good friends

and that you should just
call him to lock it down.



Yeah, E, I think
you should do that.

You should definitely
lock it down.

Lock it down.

Fuck Seth Green.

I still got a piece of his friend's tooth
lodged in my knuckles.

Seth Green is a punk.

Yeah, a punk that Charlie
and the studio want to do the show with.

So I got to be professional
and put the shit aside.

Hear hear, no more wasting
energy on gripes and grudges.

- How you feeling?
- Rejuvenated.

Did you sleep on that Tempur-Pedic
pillow I put on your bed?

I sure did, Johnny.
Thank you.

Oh, they dropped off
your sides this morning.

Thank you, Turtle.

So E's got to kiss
Seth Green's ass

and we don't get to take down
the douche director.

Sorry to ruin the dream, Drama.

- I don't believe it.
- What's wrong?

He give away
more of your lines?

No, he just cut out
most of them.

Cocksucking Nazi bastard.

Jesus Christ!
Is it too much to ask

for a goddamn egg
in the house?

- What's your problem?
- What's your problem?

Be more immature.

If a man can't have
breakfast cooked for him,

is it too much to expect a trip
to the store so he can cook it for himself?

Mom cooks us breakfast every morning.
You're always at work.

Let me get this straight.

All women defend
each other blindly?

- Daddy!
- There he is.

Finally a man who can understand me.

Hey, Jonah, you hungry?

Mm-hmm.

Ah, how about...

some eggs?

Yes, please.

You want to tell me what's
really bothering you?

You would not understand.

You are a delightful,
unspoiled little girl.

I'm 15 and obviously
more adult than you.

So what's your problem?

Okay, little Miss Adult.

My problem is that I can't run
my business the way I want to.

Not with that woman
as my partner.

Your mother controls me at home,
she controls me at work.

Where can a man
be a man?

A man can be a man

when he stops whining
and asks for things nicely.

- I asked her.
- You asked her or you told her?

You need to
convince a woman.

Listen, Andrew Klein
is a good agent with good clients.

Barbara shouldn't
need convincing.

So explain that
to her. Nicely.

Really?
You think that'll work?

You pretended you were nice
and you got Mom.

Oh, is that what
she told you? Huh?

Mom said she fixed you.

Ha, ha, ha, little man.
Girls have cooties.

Nuh-uh. Mia doesn't have cooties.
I like her.

No, she has cooties.
She has cooties. Come here.

Oh oh, it's him.
It's him.

Hello?

Hello, is Seth in?

- Who's calling
- It's Eric Murphy.

Oh, is your pussy wet,
Eric Murphy?

Come on, Seth.

Tell me, Eric Murphy,
do you have a wet pussy?

Well?

No, Seth, I don't have
a wet pussy.

My God.

Well, that's too bad, because

who's gonna want
to fuck your dry pussy?

That's hysterical, Seth.
You want to talk about this pilot or not?

I do, E, because
I really like it, man.

But I got to ask, do you really feel like
we can work together

after everything
that we've been through?

Yeah, I can put personal
shit aside for business. Can you?

I don't know. I don't know.
I'd really feel more comfortable

if we could just meet
face to face and discuss it.

I'm up in Big Bear.

How about 1:00 P.M.
Village Pizza on Larchmont?

I don't think I'm gonna
be able to make it, Seth.

You should make it there
if you want me to do your pilot, E.

Later, E!

That sounded like
it went well.

He wants me to drive into
the city and meet him today.

- That's okay. Go.
- You sure?

Yeah, I can handle
Herr Director.

There he is.

Should I gun it
and run him over?

Or should we take the slow

and painful approach
and piss in his OJ?

It's cool, guys.
I got this.

Yo, E, why don't you
go get us a TV show

just in case I don't
have a career as a silent film star?

All right, I'll talk
to you guys later.

Call me if you
need reinforcements.

I can be down there
in two and a half hours.

- Thanks, Drama.
- Morning, Vincent.

- What a wonderful day.
- Not really.

No?

I'm sorry to hear that.
Can I help you?

- I'd like to talk to you.
- Of course.

What's troubling you?

Well, I'm not
exactly happy

with the way things
are starting off.

Ah, don't you think it's
just the insecurities of an artist?

I have those days myself.

No, I'm speaking more to
the fact that you gave away

all my lines and let me believe
that they'd been stolen.

Not exactly
a good first day.

I think it was a good day.

It was an excellent day except
for the little misunderstanding.

Is that why you took
all my lines away today?

Vincent,
I don't understand

why everything has
to be so personal.

- Really, you don't?
- No.

The captain is the leader

and I needed those
lines for the leader.

Well, you should have
just told me.

Yes, I know I should have told you.
I'm sorry, I forgot.

Are we okay?
Good?

Well, what about
today's lines?

Well, they're gone
but your character is in.

Verner, without that big
monologue from yesterday

my character has
no redemption.

And without the lines
from this morning's scene

he's got no point
of view either.

I love your passion.
I can see that you care.

You're an inspiration.

That's great, but I'd like
to do the scene

as it was originally intended,
as it's supposed to be.

Actors and their words.

I understand.
You'll have your words.

You'll do the scene
as written?

Yes, I'll do it as written
so we have that.

Then we do it the other way
so we have that too.

Okay?

Any word from the Wicked
Witch of the East Wing?

Shh!
She's in your office.

She came over to thank you personally
for your lovely flowers.

Good work, Lloyd.

- And Andrew Klein called twice.
- What did he want?

He wants to know if you know
any good moving companies.

Good morning, Barbara.

Thank you
for the flowers, Ari.

Was that your idea
or Lloyd's?

My partner has been named the 33rd
most powerful woman in Hollywood

and you think I wouldn't
care enough to send flowers?

- I'm hurt.
- Just checking.

What time is the luncheon, by the way?
I'd love to show up.

No men allowed.

So it's more of a rugmuncheon
than a luncheon?

Okay, this has been
a nice morning so far,

but I'm gonna leave before
it takes a bad turn.

It's not gonna take
a bad turn, Babs.

I just want to apologize
for putting you on the spot last night.

I don't get put on the spot,
but apology accepted.

That's very kind of you.
Would you please,

as a favor to me, consider meeting
Andrew and giving him a chance?

- Please.
- Please?

Yes, sincerely, Barbara.
Please.

Okay, I'll meet
the schnook.

With an open mind, please.

Yes, with an open mind.

But I'm not making
any promises.

Okay, your consideration
is all I can ask for.

Have a good day, Ari.

You too.
And congrats again, Babs.

You nasty twat.

"I can't make any promises. "

"I can't make any... "
Lloyd!

Call Andrew.
Tell him to clear his schedule.

We got a meeting with Barbara.
We have three hours

to make him look like an agent
from this side of the hill.

Oh, "Extreme Makeover"
Miller Gold edition.

I'm so excited!

Hey, Seth.
I'm here.

- Well, that is hilarious.
- Oh yeah? Why's that?

Because this morning you were in
the mountains and I was in L.A.

And now you're in L.A.
And I'm on the beach.

Oh yeah,
that is funny, Seth.

No, it's not funny.
It's hilarious.

Eric, if you just had a sense
of humor, you would get that.

Okay. Well, it's been great
catching up with you.

Oh, so cold.
So cold, E.

Listen, man, I really want
to do your guy's show.

I really think it's a hit.
I just...

Dude, I don't want to work with a guy
that sucker punched me.

I didn't sucker punch you, Seth.

We were face to face and you were
saying some not-so-nice things.

You're still sensitive
about your girl Sloan?

Sloan's not
my girl anymore.

Really?
That's too bad.

- Yeah, well...
- You know what, Eric?

You should call Sloan
and you should tell her

to call me and ask me
to do your show.

Oh, yeah, right.
That's exactly what I'm gonna do, Seth.

Well, you should do that.
That's what you will do

if you want me to do your pilot.
Click.

Watch how high I can go.

Oh, that's great, Drama.

I bet you can't do it.

I don't want to do it.

Pussy.

- Fine, how much?
- 50 bucks.

Give me one
of these nuts.

That's how it's done.
You owe me 50.

Who are you people with?

- We're with Vince.
- Verner, I'm Vince's brother.

Maybe you recognize me from...

- Okay, you guys got to go.
- Go where?

- Anywhere, but not near the monitors.
- You serious, bro?

Yeah, go. Come on, you too.
Let's go.

- Now.
Come on, guys, here we go.

Quiet, please.
Picture is up.

- Roll camera.
- Rolling!

Give me some passion
here now.

And action.

I have $50 for whoever
goes first.

I'll give you 200 if it's you.

You think I won't?

I think you've never seen
something like this

and you'll piss your pants
before your feet hit the skids.

- What's your problem?
- What's up with you?

This is serious,
you make bets and jokes.

You've never seen a fire like this.
None of us have.

My father did
and he's fine.

If they want to laugh, let 'em.
You'll be fine.

I'll give you 300 bucks
if you can guarantee that.

I'll go first.

Cut!

Thank you.
Excellent.

Now let's do
the shorter version.

We didn't get
through this one.

- I saw enough.
- One partial take?

Vincent, I gave it a try.

Give me another one.
The whole scene.

Roll again.

Going again.

- Roll sound!
- Rolling!

And action.

I have $50 for whoever
goes first.

I'll give you 200 if it's you.

You don't think I will?

- Stop freaking out.
- I just don't understand this.

Is Barbara Miller some kind
of a fashion guru?

Not if you ask me, she isn't.
When I think of Barbara Miller

the first thing I think of
is way too much skin.

You just want to make
a good first impression.

That bitch knows me for 20 years.
Does she claim she doesn't know me?

- No, she knows you.
- Then this is not a first impression.

No, it's a first working
for her impression.

Am I working for her
or am I working for you?

You're working for you. Her name just
happens to appear on your check also.

- Where are we going?
- Right here.

- Ta-da!
- This should be cheap.

Listen, it's on me.
It's a welcoming gift.

- Eric.
- Jesus.

Sorry, I didn't mean
to scare you.

What are you doing here?

I just came by to talk to you.

- Are you okay?
- Yeah, I'm okay.

I mean, is this okay?
I could come back.

Or call. I mean, I probably
should have called.

- No, it's fine. Come in.
- Okay.

Wow, the place looks amazing.

Thanks.
I've been redecorating.

I think maybe you're done.

Oh, sadly
I'll never be done.

- You want a drink?
- I'm okay.

- Are you?
- Yeah. Yeah.

So what's up?

Okay, this is...
Wait, are we alone?

- Is my boyfriend here?
- Yeah.

- He works.
- Okay.

- And we broke up.
- Really?

- Mm-hmm.
- When?

A couple months ago.

That's too bad.
I'm sorry to hear that.

Yeah, well, anyway...

Actually, can I have
that water?

Yeah, of course.

So what did you
want to talk about?

Okay, this is so stupid.

Look, you're here
and you've got me curious.

- So...
- Okay.

I'm trying to get
a TV pilot greenlit

and the studio really
really wants Seth Green.

And he says the only way
he'll be in it

is if you call him
and ask him to be.

Is this a joke?

Probably, but it's all I got.

Eric, you can't
seriously be here

because you want me
to call Seth Green.

I told you it was stupid.
But the guy's got a thing for you.

I think he's got a thing for you

and you keep
falling for it.

Yeah, I know.
No, you're right.

Well, you can tell me now, though.
Did you guys ever...

Are you kidding?
Really?

- You didn't believe me?
- No, I did. I do.

I mean...

Look, I appreciate
the time.

And the water.
Thanks.

Do you want me
to call Seth Green?

No no. Not at all.
It's just...

I hadn't seen you in a while
and thought it was a good excuse.

- Not a good one.
- Well, an excuse.

You don't have
a girlfriend?

Actually...

I have a fiancée.
Getting married in June.

I'm only kidding.

I just wanted to see
if you still cared.

- Can you tell if I do?
- I don't know.

I probably should have let
it sit there for a little while longer.

- Anyway, I've got to...
- Yeah, anyway.

I've got to get
back to Big Bear.

- Vince is waiting for me.
- As always.

Yeah, well, we'll be back soon.
Maybe I'll call you.

Maybe I'll answer.

Okay, bye.

Thanks for the...

I'll see you.

Yo, Vin.
Great job.

- You killed it.
- Moving shit, bro.

You guys didn't
watch either.

It's not our fault.

Seems Vermin's a little
possessive of video village.

- Why, what happened?
- He threw us out like dogs.

Here he comes.

- Vincent.
- Yes, sir?

You're not happy
with me.

You walked off in
the middle of my take.

That take was for you.
It wasn't for me.

Maybe it would have been
for you if you watched it.

Can we talk alone, please?

Vincent, today
I wanted your body

to feel the part

and not be distracted
by the words.

But you wouldn't trust me.
You won't trust me.

- I'm trying.
- No.

You're trying to decide
what is good

for Vincent Chase
the actor,

not what is good
for my film.

I thought it was our film.

No, it's not our film.

Filmmaking is collaboration
but it's not democracy.

You're on this film maybe
eight weeks.

Then you fly off
to something.

I work on this film
for maybe two years.

It's got to be my film,
my decisions.

If you trust me I will
get from you the performance

that enhances my film the most.

And thus enhances
your performance the most.

But you have to trust me.
You can't work against me.

I understand.
I'll try.

I'll do my best.
Whatever you say.

Okay.

That's good, Vincent.

Why don't you go and change
and meet me at the screening trailer?

I'll show you some dailies.

I'll teach you a few things
that will be good for us.

- Okay.
- Okay.

- Why's everybody looking at me?
- 'Cause you look good.

I feel like a douche.

Andrew, my voice must be heard.
You do not look like a douche.

You look like a powerful, handsome
new Miller Gold partner.

You stick with me, Andrew,

and that won't be the last offer
you have for a blowjob today.

You guys are late.

I didn't know we had
a formal time set.

Wow, Babs, that color
really makes your eyes pop.

So how have you
been, Andrew?

Oh, I've been...
I've been good.

I've been really good.

- Is it hot in here?
- No.

I don't think so.

I've gone over
your company's numbers

and it's pretty impressive
what you've done.

Very impressive.
From the Valley.

Can you imagine
what this guy does

with a 90210 zip
on his business card?

Well, some people are
big stars in the minors

and can't swing the bat
when they get called up.

I wouldn't consider
what I've been doing the minors, Barbara.

Nor would I.

Well, you represent,
it seems,

every working
staff writer in town.

- How did you sign them?
- Barbara.

Okay, let me rephrase.

How do you feel you could
tailor your successful approach

to signing staff writers
to signing say...

Julia Roberts?

It's hot in here.

Pretend I'm Julia Roberts,
Andrew.

Tell me what you'd say
to impress me.

What?
What do you mean?

What do you mean
what do I mean?

Pitch me.

Wow, Julia,
it's amazing how much

you look like
Eric Roberts.

Do you mind if I just
step out for a moment?

- Andrew.
- I just need a fucking breath.

Listen, you can use my office.

- Ari.
- He just needs a fucking breath.

- I need a moment.
- Lloyd, take him to my office.

- Are you joking with this?
- Are you?

- He's having a panic attack.
- Not he's not, and you're being mean.

Not since my second husband
have I seen such a loser.

- The answer is no.
- Barbara!

Ari, I don't think
he's okay.

- I'll be back.
- I'll be gone.

You wait for me, Barbara!

Oh my God, Andrew.
Andrew.

I haven't had a fucking
panic attack since 1993.

Just breathe.

I thought this was a done
deal, not an interview.

Listen, everything's gonna be fine.

My wife is already looking
for houses in Beverly Hills.

My clients all think
they're repped by Miller Gold now.

Oh my God.
I can't go home.

Yes you can. Right after you pick out
a new fucking office.

All right?
I'll be right back.

Barbara!
Barbara!

I'm sorry, Mr. Gold.
Ms. Miller left for her big luncheon.

What's the fucking address?

Why you hating on Seth Green for, huh?

I just don't believe
he wants to do it.

- I feel like he's fucking with me.
- Why would he do that?

- We have issues.
- Well, fix them.

'Cause I think the dude
is funny, all right?

And according to you,
if we get Seth Green

the network
will make the show.

I need this bad.
You feel me?

I do.

Hold on a second, Charlie.

- Hello?
- Eric, it's Amy.

Just got off the phone
with Seth Green.

Sounds like you guys
had a terrific call.

Uh...

He wants to sit down
with me you and Charlie today.

Uh...

Can you make it
in here by 4:00?

Yeah, sure.

Great. See you here.

Charlie, 4:00 PM
at the studio.

Me, you, Amy
and Seth Green.

- Are you for real?
- I sure am. I'll see you there.

Yo, fuck you crew neck
wearing motherfuckers.

I just got my own TV show.

- What's your problem?
- What's up with you?

Do you see what
I'm talking about?

No, I don't really see it.

Look there now.

You see your head?
It's leaning to the side.

You look like a dog.
A dog trying to understand

what it's master is saying.

Really?

Seems like a whole generation
of actors have taken to this

George Clooney head-tilt acting.

Verner, I really
don't see a head tilt.

Shall I get a protractor?
It's there.

Vincent, you've developed
some bad habits.

We have to
get rid of them.

Okay. I mean, what other bad
habits are you seeing?

You have a lip quiver.

See there?

Every time you pause
I see your lip quiver.

And then I think,
"Why is the character's lip quivering?"

Then I think,
"It's not the character's lip quivering.

"It's Vincent's
lip quivering. "

- The lip is quivering.
- I don't see it.

But I see it.

Tomorrow when you're
in front of my camera

I want you to feel it
and I want you to get rid of it.

It's an important scene.
We have to make it work.

It could be
an Oscar scene, Vincent.

But you have to follow me.

Sir, you can't go in there.

I'm the guest
motivational speaker.

The women in this room.
So thank you.

- What the hell?
- I wanted to congratulate you in person.

- Ari, Ari.
- Attention, everyone.

- I'd like to make a toast, ladies.
- Ari.

To Barbara Miller,
number 33 on your prestigious list.

And you know what?
It's actually amazing to me

that at her advanced aged
this is the first time she's made the list.

She probably thought
this is never gonna happen.

But this little lady
is sharp.

She went out and she found herself
a man to partner up with

and look what she
was able to accomplish.

Ari, you're making
an ass of yourself.

It's gonna be interesting though,

once she's lost that man

to see how she's going
to claw her way

back into
this banquet room.

But anyway,
cheers to you, Babs,

and to all of you out there who have
saddled up next to powerful men

just so that you can
stand in our way.

But remember this,

although you can stand in our way,

you will never keep us down.

Thank you.

Do you honestly think
this is the way to get what you want?

No, I'm not trying to get what I want.
I'm taking.

- Oh really? How?
- Yeah.

I'm gonna split the agency
down the middle.

Civil war, Babs.
Arm your troops.

- All over Andrew Klein?
- No, all over your lack of respect.

And you think that behaving like a spoiled
five-year-old is the way to earn it?

I don't give a fuck.
Kiss my ass.

Been nice knowing you.

Fine, hire your buddy.

But it's on your column
when he turns out to be a complete zero.

- Fine.
- I want an apology.

Fine.

Now.

Ladies, I'm sorry.

I would love to congratulate
each and every one of you,

but unfortunately Barbara's
cock is all I can handle.

Congrats again.

What up, E?

What up, Seth?

So, um, how do you guys
know each other anyway?

- We used to date the same girl.
- No we didn't.

- I didn't know you had a girl, E.
- I don't.

- It was a long time ago.
- You still talk to her.

No, not in a while.

You talked to her today.

What up, E?

- How do you know I spoke to her?
- 'Cause I spoke to her.

- Oh, you spoke to her?
- Yeah.

Didn't you tell her
to speak to me?

- Isn't that how we ended up here?
Wait, hold on.

You guys got to cut
the tension before we go in there.

No no, there's no
tension, Charlie.

It's just two tough white guys

being true to their primal nature.

I can't believe she called you.

She did.
And then she came over.

- Don't push me, Seth.
- And if I do?

We've been down that
road before, haven't we?

Yes, we have. And that road ends
with you sucker punching me.

Damn, E.
You sucker punched the man?

Does it look like I need
to sucker punch this kid?

I'll take him out in the parking lot
right now and throw him a beating.

- Whoo.
- But that's what he wants.

And I'm not gonna
let him get to me.

I've already gotten you to, Eric,

and your impossibly hot
girlfriend multiple times.

And your show is next.

Hold on.
What you mean by that, Seth?

Charlie, what if I told you

that I won't do your show
unless you get rid of Eric?

I'd say E's my boy
and he ain't going nowhere.

Maybe you are.
Maybe I'll just tell Amy

that I really want to do this show

but I'd much rather do it
with my close personal friend

international sensation
Nick Cannon.

- You son of a bitch.
- Guys, enough. Enough, enough, enough.

- Charlie, Charlie, Charlie, get off him.
- It's my show, motherfucker!

- Motherfucker!
- Why, will you hit me?

- You got to be professional.
- Shut up!

Whoo!

You've played this game before.

Nope.
It's my natural athletic talent.

I'd like to see you maneuver
your lazy ass on a real court.

Oh yeah?

How do you do that?
How do you hit it so hard?

I don't know.
You just hit it hard. Time it.

Match point.

You're a cheater. What buttons?

Oh, it's not a button.
It's skill.

- And you, sir, have none.
- You little shit.

- Oof!
- What button is it?

Hey, what's up? You guys get sick
ofjerking each other off?

You're crazy, Drama.

Yeah, you name the sport,
I'll bust you up.

A real sport, not this.

So you got a TV show
or what, E?

We're gonna continue to look for cast.
How'd it go here?

- It's been weird today.
- Yeah.

- How so?
Yo, yo!

20 minutes,
it hasn't moved.

- What's up?
- What's up?

You tell me.

Just trying to keep my head straight.
Good day?

- I've seen better.
- Yeah, me too.

But you know what?
Tomorrow's a new sunrise.

Big scene in the morning.
Got to kill it.

Need to rest.

Told you it's been a weird day.