Entourage (2004–2011): Season 4, Episode 10 - Snow Job - full transcript

While Vince is determining whether or not he wants to do Billy Walsh's next project as a personal favor, E takes on Anna Faris as a new client.

I'm asking if you think
I should work with this girl.

I'm asking if you think you could work
with her without trying to bang her.

- She has a boyfriend.
- I don't think E could work with her

- without trying to bang her.
- I never seem to be able to.

Yeah, but the girls you work with

want to bang you, Vin.
She doesn't wanna bang him.

- Or do you still think she does, E?
- She has a boyfriend, Turtle!

So? It's not a husband.

And if you think
she'd want to bang you

if she didn't have a boyfriend,
you'd lie in wait.

Eventually that would end.



- You'd be in like Flynn.
- Totally.

Is that why
you guys never get laid?

Always waiting
for relationships to end?

Look, E, last night you thought
you were on a date with the girl.

I'm just not sure you can
let that go and be professional.

- Yeah well, I am sure.
- So why are you asking?

I'm just making sure
you're okay with it.

Are you okay with it?

Look, not all clients
are as easy as me.

And actresses... forget it.

- Oh yeah.
- Look, the girl's a talent, all right?

It's a great way
to expand our business.

- Our business?
- Yeah. I've been thinking.

You and I, 50/50 on every client I hit.



- Where do I fit in?
- You don't.

You know, that's sweet,
but not necessary.

Come on, Vince.
Look, I know where I'd be without you.

Nowhere.

Don't you have a job to go to, Drama?

That's the beauty
of an ensemble cast...

two-day work weeks.

- Vince.
- E, it is not necessary.

It's great that other people
are recognizing what you do for me,

and I wish you nothing but success.

I only ask that you make sure

that my career attention
does not suffer.

Yeah, E. Look out for numero uno.

Yeah. Always always always.

Ooh!

I have Dana Gordon.

Weird, I used to push up
on top of Dana Gordon like this.

True story.

Dana, I was just thinking about you.

Did you read Billy Walsh's script?

- Did I get Billy Walsh's script?
- I got it this morning.

Lloyd! Do I have Billy Walsh's script?

Miriam just brought it up.

Call Walsh and find out why
I didn't get a chance

to comment on it
before he turned it in.

Just got it. How's it feeling?

I'm on page 12 and I do not
understand what I'm reading.

Well, you didn't understand "Titanic"
after 12 pages either, Dana.

Ari, this is totally fucked, okay?

- This is not what we bought and I do...
- What do you mean?

Read the thing, Ari.

Left word for Walsh.

Keep trying him and call E,

and make sure that Vince
is reading this as well.

I can't hear you, Lloyd. I'm in the hills.

Did you get the Billy Walsh script?

Lloyd, I can't hear you.

Did you get

the Billy Walsh script?

Shut the fuck up, Lloyd!

Lloyd? Hello? Hello hello hello?

- There's no cell reception up here.
- Yeah, I'm getting that.

Do you guys have a hardline
around here, by chance?

- I don't... I don't know.
- Thanks, man.

- There's my guy!
- Hey!

- Hey.
- How are you?

Oh, so Vince is okay with this?

- Oh yeah, he was cool. Totally cool.
- Smart move.

I would've fought him for you,
and I'm freakishly strong.

- I'm glad it didn't come to that.
- Yeah, me too.

So I'm sorry for putting you
to work day one.

It's just I've got to
summon up my inner supermodel

and I've got these people

coming at me with concepts
and interviews and wardrobe and...

I'm so thankful you're here to help.

Yeah well, I'm glad to do it,
even though fashion isn't my thing.

But if you really want my opinion,

I like the black outfit
you wore in the first "Scary Movie. "

It made you look smart,
but still kind of hot.

- You remember that?
- Yeah.

It was on...
cable like... like a year ago.

And I might have bought the DVD.

I was just trying to catch up,
you know?

Right. Yeah.

Right. Oh, we are gonna be
great together, E.

- Really great. I'm so excited.
- Yeah, me too.

- Yo, what up, girl?
- Hey, Dave!

Hey, baby.

- Mmm.
- Oh.

This is the guy
I was telling you about... E.

This is my boyfriend Dave.

Hey, Dave, how are you?

- You're the new manager, dawg?
- Yeah.

I just, you know...
I just thought you'd be a little older.

- I'm older than I look.
Mmm.

A'ight... Yeah...

- So?
- So...

Uh, so, why don't you ask
the new manager

what he thinks of my idea?

Dave, I...

What? Yo yo, check this, okay?

I want them to shoot Anna
in a series of animal poses, okay?

Like one where she sticks
her neck out like this, a'ight?

It's like a giraffe, all right?

Another one where we make
her hair really really big...

she'll be, like, a lion, huh?

- What do you think?
- It's interesting.

What do you really think?

Uh, I think it's a little weird.

And no offense, Dave, but it is.

- It's... a little weird.
- It is a little weird, babe.

Okay.
Well, I thought it'd be hot, okay?

You think everything I do is hot
and that's why I love you.

But this is a little weird,
so let's let it go, please.

- Okay, baby.
- Okay.

I'm gonna go get ready.

Um... yo, dawg,

I'm gonna go watch
my girl get ready, okay?

So why don't you grab me a coke and
bring it over to the trailer, a'ight?

Yeah, they're, um...
they're right there. Thanks, dawg.

Bring that right over.

- Yeah?
- Hello?

- Turtle?
- Drama?

- Hey, Ari! What's up?
- What's up, Lloyd?

- I'm looking for Vince.
- Do you know where Vince is?

Aren't you supposed
to go through E for Vince?

Did you try E?

If he's there,
put him on the fucking phone, Turtle.

I called E and e-mailed him too.

Let me see if he's here. Hang on.

I'll see if I can locate him.

- Yo, Vince, you're here for Ari?
- Why wouldn't I be?

Lloyd says he can't find E.

Oh, it's fine. Hey, Lloyd.

- Hey, Vince. Hold for Ari.
- Okay.

- I got Ari, Vince.
- Oh.

- Ari.
- Vince!

I've got Vince.

I got fucking Vince.

- Vince!
- Ari?

Did you read Walsh's script?

Did I get Walsh's script?

It was dropped off to me
and the studio this morning.

Any scripts come for us this morning?

Uh, yeah, I put 'em in the pile.

Yeah, I've got it. What's the problem?

The problem is
he took your snow-on-a-mountain movie

and turned it into a futuristic thriller

set on a farm, circa 2075.

- I don't understand.
- He tossed the book away,

the book they paid him
$3 million to write,

and decided just
to make up his own story.

Huh, that's odd. Call Walsh.

- Dana Gordon on one.
- Did E know anything about this?

- No, of course not.
- Then why is he in hiding?

He's not in hiding. He's at
a photo shoot with his new client.

- E's got a new client?
- Yeah, Anna Faris.

- Come on!
- Yep.

Jesus! The world is falling apart.

It's always darkest before dawn, Ari.

I got Billy's voicemail.

Billy Walsh just said
in response to your question

of why did he give
the script to the studio

before you had a chance
to comment on it...

and I'm quoting him here... "'Cause
I don't give a fuck what you think. "

Get his address.

Vinnie, sit tight.
I will get right back to you.

Okay. Bye, Ari.

Boy, he's stressed.

- Do you want me to call E?
- No. I'm the producer.

I can handle it. Let's just see
what crazy Billy did, huh?

Hey, how about I read E's copy?

Yeah. I like the initiative, Turtle.

- What should I do?
- Why don't you make us a snack?

I like being E. Huh.

Oh, that's so hot. Perfect.

Turn into it. Turn into it.

Shit.

Hey, you can get a signal
right at the bottom of the hill.

Or if you want, we have a runner
we can send to make a call for you.

No, thanks anyway.
I'll go down there and make the call.

- Thank you very much. I appreciate it.
- No problem.

- She looks good, huh?
- No no.

I'm not feeling this shit at all, okay?

Baby, baby, okay?
Do one like a cat, okay?

A fierce cat...

Just jump out.

Baby, trust me on this, okay?
Please please?

Big eyes like an owl
and this shit is gonna pop!

Come on, Dave. I...

Okay, am I wrong, dawg?

Huh?
A little reckless abandonment here.

It would stamp this thing unique.

I think she looks beautiful.

Fucking hack.

Anna, are you cool if I run down
to the bottom of the hill

- to make a call?
- Yeah.

Okay. I'll be right back.

All right, everyone. Let's take five.

- All right, so... It's Eric, right?
- Yeah.

- Look, you can't leave now.
- Why not?

I'm not getting what I need
out of Anna. She's not focused.

All right, I'll talk to her.

No no no, she's not the problem.
The boyfriend is.

As long as he's hanging around
criticizing her,

she's just not gonna bring it.

You don't want to say
something to him?

I take pictures.
I don't interfere with domesticity.

All right, I'll say something to him.

Don't touch the camera.

- Hey, Dave.
- Yo, dawg, what's up?

- Can I talk to you for a second?
- Yeah.

Listen, I think you're making Anna
a little uncomfortable.

Wow, you've been working with her,

what, one day?
How do you know what I'm making her?

Maybe you're making
the photographer uncomfortable.

Either way,
if you're gonna hang around,

try to be a little less critical.

No no, this is not good, okay?
I'm not feeling this.

Okay? Anna, baby?

Anna? Okay, baby?

Look, I need to talk to you
for a second, okay?

- In the trailer.
- Okay.

Excuse me.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Is Billy Walsh here?

Oh, hey, no. Billy's not here.

I see him sitting on the couch there.

She means I'm not here for you, Ari.

Can I please come in?

Not if you're gonna criticize me.

Why would I criticize you?

Let him in.

So everyone hates the script.

You got paid a half
a million dollars to adapt a book

and you didn't do it.

I decided to go
in a different direction.

They didn't pay you
for that direction.

Hey, the script that he wrote
is really hot, man.

Ahem!

You don't want to give the studio
back their money, do you, Billy?

- The money's been spent, Ari.
- On what?

- Home improvements.
- We put in a steam shower.

How long will it take you to do
what they paid you to do?

Infinity, 'cause I'm not gonna do it!

- You have to do it!
- I've tried to do it, Ari!

I did, but every time
I started to write a scene

I got these two guys
locked alone on a mountain

and it felt really gay.

And it was my idea to add the chicks.

- See, Billy writes chicks really good.
- Thanks, babe.

Vince stuck his neck out for you

and now you are
fucking him and the studio.

They are going to
fuck you right back.

- They can't touch me.
- They can sue you

and make sure that you never
make a movie in this town again.

Well, good thing I paint.

You're not gonna do this, are you?

No, I'm not.

Then I've got nothing else
to say to you.

Yeah well, I've got
something to say to you:

You are no longer my agent!

Yeah, Lloyd?

- It's your wife. She says it's urgent.
- Put her through, Lloyd.

- Here she is.
- What's wrong, baby?

You're avoiding my fucking calls.

Does that sound like my wife, Lloyd?

It did, yes. But now it doesn't. Sorry.

- What's up, Dana?
- I haven't walked out of my office...

not even to pee... in three hours.

What are you, agoraphobic?

No, I'm scared to see my boss

because I have no idea
what to tell him.

Well, that is the beauty of me, Dana.

I tell people what
to tell other people.

- So tell me something!
- Fire Walsh.

- Fire him?
- Yes. I just did.

So he has no intention of writing
what he was supposed to write?

None, but I have intentions of finding you

an A-list writer/director
to replace him by sundown.

And I will bring him in at cost.

- Lloyd, get a list together.
- I can't believe this.

Wake up, Dana. It's real.

The first big project
you brought into your new studio

is in shambles.

Thanks to your
writer/director, asshole!

You know, if you think
my last boss was vindictive,

you haven't seen shit!

You'd better find me someone approvable

and you'd better make sure
Vince is onboard.

Because if I have to go in
and tell Richard Wimmer

that we lost a script,
a director and a star today...

all of whom are
yourfucking clients...

you can bet your ass
that nobody who has ever been

close enough to smell your breath

will ever be welcome
at this studio again!

Vince, it's Ari.

Eh, I'll call him when I'm finished.

Hey, some help this guy is.

I'm not sleeping, jerkoff.

I'm pacing myself.

Yeah? Were you enjoying it, Turtle?

Yeah well, don't get mad, Vin,

but I was kind of
just scanning it for the sex scenes.

There are two good ones, by the way.

There's a lot of parts in here, Vince.

Billy liked what I did
in "Medellin," right?

No. I really do need E.
Call him, Turtle.

- I could finish, man.
- Call him.

Call him, Turtle.

Straight to voicemail.

Nice. Very nice.

Excuse me, miss. Can you get that
runner to make a call for me?

Sure, who's the call to?

Okay, the call is to Ari Gold
at the Miller Gold Agency.

And you're going to ask for Lloyd

and see if there's anything
important going on.

All right, you got it.

- Great. Thank you very much.
- Mm-hmm.

- Hey, guy.
- Yeah?

- You Anna's manager?
- Yeah.

Can you manage her?
We're ready to shoot.

She's not coming out of her trailer.

She's talking to her boyfriend.

Look, once the sun is over that tree,

we're done. We can't shoot.

Okay. Okay, I'll take care of it.

All right.

No, I'm helping you!

Why are you fighting me on this?

I'm trying to help you.
The cat's gonna help.

Then maybe
it would be appropriate.

It's the inner animal!
It's your inner animal!

What do you want, dawg?

Sorry to bother you, Dave...
I don't mean to interrupt...

but they're ready for Anna onset.

- We're in the middle of something.
- I really have to go.

We need to talk about this later.

What's more important to you,

this relationship
or this photo shoot?

Don't do that! I have to work!

Oh, and I'm sorry I don't!

Oh my God.

Fuck this.

- Dave!
- I'm out.

I'm really sorry.

He never used to be like this,

but since the C.W. Passed on his pilot,

he's been hanging around
my work being all hypercritical.

God, you must think I'm a mess.

No no no.
Look, relationships are tough.

I'm sure you guys will get through it.

- Does the crew totally hate me?
- No, not at all.

Everything's... everything's fine.

- You're good? You need a minute?
- No no no, I'm good.

- Okay, here. Come on.
- Okay, thank you.

- How's that dress feel?
- It's really uncomfortable.

Not great, right?

Hey, you needed me to go
make a phone call for you.

I'm just confirming,
who was I supposed to call?

You want to talk to Lloyd
in Ari Gold's office.

Eric, if you need to go make
some phone calls, that's fine.

- You sure?
- Totally.

- I'll be back in five minutes.
- Okay.

- All right?
- Hey, and E?

Yeah?

I swear I'm not as high
maintenance as it seems.

Don't worry about it. As far as
my easiest clients are concerned,

you're in the top two. Not bad.

- All right, bye.
- I'll be back in two seconds.

- I'm sorry.
- All right.

- So sorry, guys.
- Okay.

Ari, making house calls.

- I love it!
- Heh-heh, today is not the day

to not pick up your phone, Vin.

I was reading. Come on,
you should be proud.

Normally you can't get me to do that.

Well, today I actually
don't need you to do that.

I made some lamb kebabs, Ari.
You want some?

- No, thank you.
- They're good.

No, thank you.
You know Richard Kelly?

- Director?
- Yeah, the guy who did "Donnie Darko. "

I know him. I like him... why?

I represent him.
I can get him on "Clouds. "

Plus, I can get the studio onboard
so we can keep this train rolling.

What about Billy?

Billy is a dead man. He's a corpse.

You can't pull that kind of shit
when you get paid that kind of money.

Did you read his script?

I understand that you're
loyal to the guy.

- But did you read it?
- I read the first 10 pages.

There's no mountain.
Without a mountain, there's no movie.

No, there is a movie, a great movie...

better than "Clouds," I think.

Are you fucking with me?

Why would I do that, Ari?

Is he fucking with me?

"Clouds" was lacking in tits, Ari.
This one's got at least four.

Yeah, there's a couple things
in there for me too, Ari.

So you and Lloyd should
get on it ASAP.

Ahem... where the hell is E?

M.I.A.

Well, we need him.
'Cause maybe that neurotic little elf

nipping at your heels
will make you understand

that we are in a major
crisis situation here.

I think if you read the script,
Ari, you'd find that we're not.

Come on, Ari. The tide
is turning for us, you know that.

And the hype of "Medellin"
is growing as Cannes approaches.

I like this script.
I want to make this movie with Billy.

We can't do that. There is no way.

There is always a way, Ari.
Come on, Bubala.

Make it happen, huh?

You following me, dawg?

No, I was trying to make a phone call.

Then why are you riding up my ass?

I'm not riding up your ass.
I didn't even know it was you.

Oh, you didn't. Okay.

You got a thing for my girl?

No, Dave, we work together.
What are you talking about?

- Okay, you got a girlfriend?
- No.

- You gay?
- No!

Then how are you gonna
look at me in my face right now

and tell me you ain't
got a thing for my girl?

- Dave, you've got to chill.
- Whoa whoa!

Don't tell me to chill, okay?

My girlfriend, she comes
and tells me she's got a new manager

and I'm thinking
it's gonna be some graybeard,

Bernie Brillstein-type guy.

Not some young non-gay guy
who ain't got no girl.

Look, I promise you this relationship
is gonna be nothing but professional.

Professional? How are you
gonna help her professionally?

Why don't you sell me
however you sold her?

I didn't sell her, okay? I told her
I didn't like a movie she was gonna do

and she agreed with my opinion.
That's it.

Okay.

So you're the reason she didn't do it?

Yeah.

That's funny. That's really funny

because I was the reason
she was gonna do it in the first place.

What can I say about that? I'm just
trying to do my job. That's what I do.

Your job's fucking with my life, okay?

- And you never got me that coke!
- Dave!

This is not happening.

Dave!

Are you out of your fucking mind?

Did you even read
Walsh's script, Dana?

I read 15 pages
and I will not read another page,

nor another page
of any client you ever have.

I need to get you behind this.

I'm not behind this and I never will be.

Well, listen: You'd better get behind
this if you want to save your ass.

Save my ass? People love "Clouds," Ari.

I will replace you and your whole
fucking crew with three phone calls.

After this town hears how you tried
to bait and switch this studio,

it will be your ass
that needs the saving.

So, Dana, you're not gonna
take this to your boss?

No!

- Then I will.
- Really?

Hi. Ari Gold to see Richard Wimmer.
Really.

You motherfucking cocksucker!

He's leaving for New York
in 30 minutes.

- I'll only be a minute.
- No, he's in the shower!

Ari! Ari!

Dave.

- Dave!
- I'm not a fighter, dawg, okay?

But when it comes to my girl,
I will man up. So back off, okay?

You're not fighting me, man.
You're fighting yourself here.

Don't use that weird
existential shit with me.

Dave, will you just
talk to me for one second

before you go back over to her?

- One...
- Listen...

...one...
- Dave.

...one... that was three seconds, dawg.

What are you, six? Look,
you want to lose your girl, Dave?

I'm telling you right now, you go back
over there with that attitude,

that's exactly what's gonna happen.

You'd like that, wouldn't you?

What the fuck, Dave?
You've come to cause more problems?

Girl, I haven't caused shit, okay?
It's this guy.

The only reason he's here
is to try and fuck you.

- What?
- I'm just trying to do my job, Dave.

- You need to get rid of him, okay?
- Dave!

Baby, I'm just keeping it real.
Ask him. Ask him right now.

Ask him to look you in the face
and say it isn't so.

- Do it, come on.
- Dave, stop it.

Maybe I should leave.

Yeah, dawg,
why don't you do that, please?

No, dawg, why don't you?

I can't take it anymore!

- I'm done.
- That shit ain't right.

Stop fucking talking
like Randy Jackson!

Whoa, okay.

Whatever, movie star.

I hope you two are really happy
together, all right?

Well, that was awkward.

Yeah. You all right?

No, I meant for you.

Okay, come on.
Let's get back to work.

- Okay.
- Jesus.

- It's Walsh.
- Finally.

Yo, Billy! Where've you been all day?

It's not Billy, Vince. It's Kat.

Billy's locked himself
in the bathroom

with a bottle of whiskey and a gun.

What are you talking about?

He thinks he let you down, Vince.
He feels terrible.

No no no, he didn't let me down.

Vince, E.

Shh-shh! Let me talk to him.

Billy? Baby, it's Vince.
He wants to talk to you.

What's to say? I've ruined us all!

No, baby, he says that it's all good.

What's all good? He liked the script?

Tell him I loved the script.

He loved the script! Baby, he loved it.

- You loved it?
- It's unbelievable.

Do you really have a gun?

Yeah, but the bitch
hid the bullets, so...

Jesus, Billy. The script is amazing.
I want to make this movie.

- You do?
- Yes.

We're going to make this movie.

- How?
- Ari's taking care of it. Don't worry.

Ari? What can he do?

Wow, it's like finding
Jim Morrison alive.

Yeah, I had no cell all day. I got, like,
25 messages. What's going on?

Nothing that exciting.

Just have an emergency meeting
with the head of the studio

on the Billy Walsh/Vinnie Chase project.

- Why, what's the problem?
- Wouldn't you like to know?

- Ari?
- Listen, you snooze, you lose.

- I've got to go.
- Ari?

What the hell is going on?

Desperate times call for
desperate measures here.

Thank god I'm in a robe.

And may I comment on
what lovely ankles you have?

- Talk fast, Ari.
- You don't have your summer movie.

- Come again?
- A tent pole... you don't have one.

I have "Clouds. "

Billy Walsh and Vinnie Chase
don't wanna do it.

Where the hell is Dana Gordon?

I'm right outside the door, Richard!

Ari locked me out.

Let her in!

- Hey, Dana.
- Fuck you, Ari.

Dana, what the hell
is going on with "Clouds"?

I am working on it, Richard,
and when you return from New York,

I will have a completely
new team in place.

That's impossible. Billy burned
six weeks writing the wrong script.

And you do not have
enough time to put "Clouds"

back onboard for your July release.

You and your friend
Billy Walsh are dead, Ari!

We are not dead.
We are very much alive.

You with your fading stock prices

and your three straight quarters
in the red are dead

if you have to go to your board
of directors and tell them

that this summer may be
your worst quarter yet.

I'm gonna tear your head off, Ari.

Please, don't,
because I have your summer movie.

From the director of "Medellin"

and "Queens Boulevard" comes "Silo. "

It is a story of a group
of non-unionized farm hands

who band together
to survive a nuclear attack

after discovering
an underground society.

It is ready to shoot.
Billy Walsh is onboard,

Vinnie Chase is onboard,
and if you're not,

Fox, Universal and Sony are.

- He's bluffing.
- What does it matter?

There's a summer movie in there,

or we pack up our shit and go home.

Tell him how good it is, Dana.

All personal bullshit aside.

Dana?

- It's an excellent script.
- Can we market it?!

Think "Blade Runner"
meets "Field of Dreams. "

Two classics... boom!

You make this good, Dana.

And you, Ari, this I don't soon forget.

That was unbelievable...

"Blade Runner"
meets "Field of Dreams"?

- Not bad, huh?
- That was... did you actually read it?

What do I need to read it for?
I have a go movie, douchebag.

- We have a go movie.
- Die, Ari.

I truly hope you die.

- Did I do it, Vinnie?
- Yes, you did, and thank you.

So any possibility
of shooting this one

a little closer to civilization, Bill, please?

It takes place on a farm
in Nova Scotia, Turtle.

Ignore him, Billy.
He read every third page.

I, on the other hand, was riveted,

especially by the character
of Kelton the farmhand.

Yeah, I was thinking of you
when I wrote that.

Really?

No.

How about a toast
to a groundbreaking day

and a possibly
groundbreaking movie?

Are you kissing
my ass now, snake suit?

Oh, come on, Billy. He came through.

You can't stay mad at him.

I'm no longer planning on
using your car as a toilet,

but I'll get back to you
about being my agent again.

I wait with bated breath, sire.

Yeah!

Why does nobody answer
their cell phones?

Look who's talking!

Where've you been, E?
Too busy being professional

with your girlfriend
to pick up the phone?

Will somebody please
tell me what's going on?

Don't stress your pretty
little head about it.

- It's all been handled.
- What's been handled?

We're making Billy's movie.

"Silo"?

Where's the snow?