Entourage (2004–2011): Season 3, Episode 15 - Manic Monday - full transcript

Hello?

Finally, I get you
on the phone.

Why do agents love
the 6:00 a.m. wake-up call?

Why do managers
sleep on the job?

- What's the problem, Amanda?
- The problem is

I need an answer on "Glimpses"
and you do not return my calls.

We called you back
on Friday.

You left a message
at my office at 10:00 p.m.

Who'd you think was going
to answer, the janitor?

Sorry.

You guys are avoiding me
and I don't like it.



- Listen, Amanda...
- No, you listen, Eric.

I don't take kindly
to the runaround.

I demand some face time
with you and Vince

this morning at 10:00 a.m.
at my office.

Amanda.

Who is she
to demand anything?

- Doesn't she work for you, Vince?
- Indeed, she does.

And hanging up on E? Must have been
pretty emasculating, huh?

Felt like I was getting called down
to Principal Reeve's office.

Just like him,
I'm gonna tell her the way it is.

Please do, 'cause I don't like
avoiding her.

No no no.
No more avoiding.

We'll tell her
we're not making a move

on anything until the cameras
actually roll on "Medellin".



She'll be pissed if
she thinks you're taking Ari seriously.

Then she's gonna
be pissed, huh, E?

Oh, now Vince
is emasculating E.

Get the fuck in the car.

- Late again, Ari.
- What, do I work for you?

No. But Rob Rubino
still does.

- Why?
- I'm on it.

He's dead weight.

He's booking 100 grand a quarter
and costing us 150.

I want him gone.
Do I need to do it myself?

I said I'm on it.

- Protein shake and a Power Bar.
- Not hungry, Lloyd.

The missus said
you didn't eat dinner again last night.

Why do you two
talk so much?

- We like each other.
- Just get Rob Rubino in my office,

and tell him to bring all of his
worldly possessions.

Rob Rubino is off getting his Lasik
surgery this morning.

When he's finished then.

When he's done, you will be
at couples' therapy.

- No, Lloyd, no!
- Yes, Ari, yes.

But I will have Rob Rubino waiting
on the firing line upon your return.

This is bullshit.
It's fucking absurd.

You guys told me
that you wanted to work.

You told me
to find a project,

and I found one,
a great one,

that you loved and you still won't
give me an answer.

We're very
contemplative people.

Please don't give me
that bullshit.

I don't want apologies.

I want only one thing...
a fucking answer!

"Glimpses" is
a great project

with a great director,
so what is the problem?

I don't have a problem.

I don't have a problem.

This is about "Medellin,"
isn't it?

No.

Ari is still
in your fucking head.

- Amanda, no, he's not.
- Ari doesn't exist anymore, Vince.

- I know.
- Neither does "Medellin".

- It's a ghost, you understand?
- Yes.

I understand.

Then I want an answer.

Don't flash those
pretty eyes at me, Vince.

I wasn't. I'm not.

My eyes aren't as pretty,
but I wasn't either.

When can I have an answer?

How about today?
Just let us read it one more time.

Okay, today.
I'll be waiting.

I never heard Ari
talk to Vince like that.

Yeah, seriously, we could hear
the screaming right through the door.

- It was kinda hot.
- Hot?

She bullied Vince into making a decision
he didn't wanna make.

- Still hot.
- I did not get bullied. I got finessed.

Call it what you want,
we got reading to do.

Sucks for you guys,
'cause we got the Dodger game.

- And it's Bat Day.
- Just for that I'm getting four copies,

you guys can read some
Edith Wharton too.

Let us know what the retards
of America think.

Vince.

You guys don't really wanna go
to the game without us, do you?

- It's Bat Day, Vince.
- Come on, keep me company.

It's not like
the Yanks are in town.

- Or the Mets.
- The Mets? Who cares about the Mets?

So do you
feel depressed, Ari?

Depressed, no;
irritated, yes.

He hasn't had
a full meal in a week,

and he slept past 7:00
again this morning.

I haven't seen him sleep
past 5:30 since 1993.

So do you think
losing this Vincent Chase

is really the problem, Ari?

- No.
- Yes.

What do you think
the problem is then?

I don't think
there is a problem.

Ask why he didn't go
to the Lakers game last night.

Who said I wanted
to go to the game?

You asked five times if you
should have gone.

And five fucking times
you didn't answer me.

"If you wanted to go, you should have
gone," is not an answer.

- Is that an answer?
- Did you wanna go, Ari?

He did, but he didn't go
because he thought

- he might run into Vince again.
- Ridiculous.

- Is it ridiculous?
- What are you two, a fucking tag team?

I don't think that Vincent Chase
should determine

where you go
and don't go in this town.

He doesn't determine...

He's been in a funk
since he got fired.

And then of course there was
the birthday-party incident.

Everybody stop.

I didn't go to the Lakers game 'cause
they were playing the fucking Bobcats.

And I came here today
because I thought this was a session

on how my wife could
learn to communicate,

how to answer a question
without a question.

Basic Humanity 101.

Which I thought,
given your wall of fucking diplomas,

you could easily fix.
Or if you couldn't,

you could give her a pill that could
either fix it or make her a mute.

But now, to turn around
and gang up on me?

I have work to do. I have hundreds
of clients to deal with.

And just so we're clear...
I don't care about any of 'em.

They're all just a number.

Like wife number one,
and therapist number seven.

Good day.

You're really
only our fifth.

One for you, one for you,

and one for you.

This is a long script, E.

There's a reason
I'm in TV now...

no more than 60 pages
at a clip.

Maybe we should break it
into four quarters. It'll be faster.

Just read it. I like that E's including
everyone in the process.

We gotta process this quickly.

- We got four hours to decide.
- On it, boss.

I'm going back down, read in peace.
I'll be back in an hour.

He's strict.

Yeah well, now you got a strict agent
and a strict manager.

- Enjoy that.
- Yeah, but I'm still in charge.

One more dip before
we dive in then?

Definitely.

- Are you coming back?
- I am back, Lloyd.

I'm getting on the elevator now.
Why, did you miss me?

No... I mean, yes.
I do miss you,

but that's not why
I'm calling.

Barbara had me place
Rob Rubino in your office.

Oh... she just loves
the smell of blood, doesn't she?

- What did you tell him?
- Very little.

You know this sort of unpleasantness
makes me uncomfortable.

Each time you do it, it gets a little
bit easier, Lloyd. I'm coming right up.

Ruthless.

- Ari.
- On it.

- When?
- Right now,

but I know you like to watch, Babs,
so come on in if you want a thrill.

- Hey, Rob.
- Hey, there he is.

That's right, you had your
little eye procedure today.

It's actually not a procedure,
it was a real surgery.

They actually cut into my eyeball
and then they lift the cornea.

It's still elective,
though, right?

- Yeah.
- Yeah, okay.

- Rob, listen...
- Ari, I know why I'm here.

Oh, you do?
That'll make it easier.

We go back a long way.

- Yeah, we do.
- I mean, the Morris mailroom.

Remember
the handshake, huh?

Here's the "W".

- Come on, Ari, gimme the "M".
- I'm sorry, Rob.

Ari, Carrie left me.

She did? When?

About three months ago.

I haven't told anybody.

But that's why my work
has been off.

Look, Ari, just try to understand
what I'm dealing with here.

When she left,
I felt like somebody

had pulled the rug
from under me.

When I met her
she had nothing.

Then she designs this pair
of terrycloth sweatpants,

she puts a "J" on the ass
and she's worth $50 million.

And now she's fucking the guy
from the Chili Peppers.

It just... it hurts
so much inside.

Don't fucking cry, Rob.

I can't cry, Ari.

My tear ducts will be
permanently fucked if I do.

Jesus Christ.

Do you have any idea what it's like to
lose somebody you really love, Ari?

Fuck fuck fuck!

Okay, don't hit me, Ari,
please don't hit me.

Get back to your desk.

- Really?
- Yeah.

- Thank you.
- And do better.

I'm gonna do better, I promise.
I'm gonna make you proud.

Thank you, Ari.

Thank you.

Where is my
fucking assistant?

Right here, Mr. Rubino.

What the fuck
was that, Ari?

A shot at redemption, Babs,
you ever hear of it?

Not when I'm paying
for the sins.

You were supposed
to fire him,

not become his
seeing-fucking-eye dog.

Partnership agreement states that we
both have to agree on a dismissal.

I don't agree.

What the fuck
is going on with you, Ari?

Nothing.

You're not you.

You're soft
and weak and nice.

It's disgusting.

You really want the word to spread
around town that you're a pussy?

Are you crying?

Yeah, I'm fucking crying.
Get outta here, Babs.

Get the fuck outta here.
Get out of here.

Lloyd, get Dr. Marcus
on the phone.

Tell her
it's an emergency.

You gotta be shittin' me.

Morning, E.

I thought you
loved the script.

Sometimes things don't hold up
on a second reading, E.

I didn't get it at all.
Why doesn't Vince bang the girl?

'Cause that's the way
it was back then.

What are you saying, E?
Guys didn't get pussy back in the day?

Don't be retarded, Turtle.
Of course they did,

or none of us
would be here.

- Did you like it, Johnny?
- Couldn't get past page eight, bro.

What did you like
about it the first time?

I liked that Amanda liked it.

- What did you like about it?
- I liked that you liked it.

- I didn't really like it.
- I didn't either.

- It was boring, right?
- Totally, but you were so excited.

That's 'cause Amanda was excited.
She got me excited.

- She knows how to sell.
- I'd buy diseased fish from her.

- I'd eat it.
- So it's a pass then.

- What are you gonna tell her?
- You mean, what are we gonna tell her?

You're the one that told her
you liked it in the first place.

Oh no, that's your job, manager.
You're bad cop, always.

Yeah, manager,
stop being such a puss.

Or at least let me
be bad cop,

'cause I would love
to interrogate Amanda.

Oh yeah.

Dr. Marcus' office.

No, she's not in right now.

Okay.

Hi, can I help you?

Yeah, my name is Ari Gold.
I'm a patient here.

Yes, I know, your office
has called several times.

- Where's the doc?
- Dr. Marcus is out Monday afternoons.

She takes some much-deserved
personal time.

I need to talk to her
right now.

- Is this an emergency?
- Yeah.

- Are you suicidal?
- No.

- Any thoughts of suicide?
- Uh, no.

Well, you look like
you've been crying.

Fuck you.

You can call back after 5:00
to schedule an appointment.

I'm prepared to write you a check
for $5,000 if you tell me where she is.

Oh, that is
freaking gorgeous.

You think I can get
on the celebrity tour?

If you were a celebrity.

My show airs in three weeks, Turtle.
My time is coming.

- Yo.
- Yo, did you get her?

Oh, I got her.

How'd it go?

Judging by the look
on his face, not well.

She wants the three
of us to have dinner.

Jesus, E.
You just can't close this broad?

If this was Ari,
you would have told him no,

- and we'd be eating a Dodger dog.
- Kid's right.

She yelled at me again.
What was I supposed to say?

What would you say
if Ari yelled at you?

- Oh, he'd tell Ari to fuck off.
- True that.

I think they're right.
You're soft on her.

And you were real tough
this morning, Vince.

You're both pussies, okay?

And this is the problem with having
a hot-looking agent.

That's the problem with hot-looking
women in the workplace in general.

They should be barred,
'cause no man can say no to them.

You should run for president
on that one, Drama.

- You can't run on the truth, E.
- The truth, Johnny,

is that tonight the boys from Queens
are gonna set a hot woman straight,

for real this time.

Can't send boys
to do men's work.

But good luck to youse,
both of you.

If I birdie this hole,
I get to blow your husband, Jane.

If he's okay with it,
so am I.

Well, this guy's got
his head up his ass.

Hold on, I just need a word.

Ari, what are you
doing here?

- I need a sec, Doc.
- Jesus.

- Come, for one... I need you...
- No, not now.

- I need you, Doc, please.
- Ari...

Doc, Doc...

I would blow him.

This is personal time, Ari.

I have a rule not to have my
personal time interrupted.

Dangers of belonging
to the same club as patients.

This is completely
inappropriate.

Doc, I am melting down.

Okay. I'll give you
five minutes.

- What's going on?
- I don't know. I'm not me.

My wife is right.
It is about Vince.

Ari, even in a professional relationship
where there's no sexual component,

there's a sense of loss
after a breakup.

A period of mourning,
if you will.

How long does it last?
'Cause it's affecting my work.

How so?

I couldn't fire someone today. Firing
people is one of my favorite things.

It's a perk of my job.
I couldn't do it.

All because this little fuck

gave me some song and dance
about his wife leaving him.

- So you felt compassion?
- Yeah.

Last week, all I had to do
was let my assistant

perform just one more of the many gay
acts that he's performed in his life.

It would have made me millions
of dollars. I couldn't do that either.

So you felt protective
over someone else.

Yeah, and it made me sick.

Ari, these are good things.

- Sounds like you're evolving.
- I don't want to evolve.

I want to get back to me.
I like me.

Ari, it will take months of extensive
therapy, maybe even years,

for you to get comfortable
with the direction you're heading.

I don't want to head
in that direction, Doc.

I want my edge back.
I need my anger and I need it now.

I'm making a run
at the course record.

I want you to call my office,
make an appointment.

Trust me,
this is exciting progress.

Doc, don't leave me here.
We... uhh...

Boundaries, Ari,

adhere to them, please.

You shitty dime-store
therapist.

A man's life
is on the line here

and all you give a fuck about
is beating some stupid club record

that will do what for you?
Give you five minutes of pleasure

while you fuck your underpaid
emasculated husband tonight?

How the fuck does he
afford this place anyway?

Isn't he a guidance counselor
at a high school?

That anger you were
worried about...

- Yeah?
- I think it's back.

Triggers, Ari,
they can go both ways.

You can right now stop,
work hard

and go in a direction
to make yourself a decent

positive member of society...
like my husband...

or you can go back to the lowlife
narcissistic grunt

I've watched berate his wife for a year
and a half in my office.

I knew you were on her side.

It's your choice, Ari.

Sorry.

He's not in there.

Why would he be in his office at 3:00?
Where is he?

Conference room.

Okay, I believe
that that is an "L".

It is in fact an "L".

Can you believe six hours ago I couldn't
even read a stop sign?

- Test me again. I want to go smaller.
- Smaller?

Great work, Rob.
Great work.

See if you can read this.

You're fired!
And in case your ears are fucked,

get the fuck out!

And the next person
I see juggling,

tap-dancing
or baton twirling

or doing any other
circus-like tricks

will join him.
All right?

One-strike policy applies.

Now get back to work.

God damn, that felt good.

- What happened to you?
- Shock therapy, Babs.

Skip it, Ginny.

We think it's a great script,
Amanda, we really do.

It's a great script.

It's just not a great script for Vince.

- It's just not really for me.
- I can't picture Vince on a horse.

And the British accent?
Not feeling it.

Please don't get mad.

Don't get mad, Amanda.
You understand, right?

I don't understand.
Three weeks ago it was for you.

Three weeks ago I didn't hear any
problems with the horse or the accent.

What's changed besides the appearance
of Ari's receding hairline?

- It's not Ari.
- It's really not Ari, Amanda, I swear.

Vince, I have never
gotten angry at a client

because he told me
he didn't like a script.

Why I am getting angry now...
I'm sorry...

why I'm getting
frustrated now

is because my client
told me that he loved it,

had me set in motion
plans to put him in it

and then pulled back
at the last second.

So if not Ari, then why?
Why did you tell me you love it?

It's because you
loved it so much.

Okay.

And because you were so
passionate when you sold it.

Okay.

And because I didn't want
to disappoint you.

Vince, you're gonna
have to be honest with me

if we're gonna
be able to work together.

I agree completely.

But sometimes it's not
so easy to say no to you.

Why, do you think
I'm not going to listen?

It's because you're so cute.

I'm cute?

Yeah, you know, when you
get all excited and amped up

and you furrow your brow,
you're really cute.

You know?

Cute.
You called her cute.

- Stop rehashing.
- I couldn't believe my fucking ears.

What happened?

Yeah, did Mistress Amanda
dominate you two again?

And did she wear latex?

No, Vince told her
he thought she was cute.

You're changing context.

We're gonna be changing agents seeing
that you basically

put it on the table
that you want to fuck her.

Better than
leaving it unsaid.

I wanted to fuck
my old manager for years.

Never told her. Made the working
environment intolerable.

- For you or for her?
- This is so fucked.

E, do you not think Amanda already knew
that Vince wanted to fuck her?

- I didn't know he wanted to fuck her.
- Come on!

- We all want to fuck her.
- She's Vince's agent.

Are you telling me when she came
out this morning mouth blazing,

spit flying,
power suit waving,

you didn't get
a little excited?

I got a little excited.

That's nothing
to be ashamed of, Vince.

All men love women
filled with rage.

The bottom line is she's hot.

But once you put it out there
it changes everything.

For guys like us, yeah.

For beautiful people like them,
whole different set of rules.

- That's true.
- Maybe I should apologize.

Maybe you should.

You just call yourself one
of the beautiful people?

Hello.

Vince, do you
think I'm hot?

- What?
- Well, you said I'm cute, right?

By cute did you mean I'm hot
and you want to fuck me?

I don't know exactly
how I should respond to that.

You had no problem telling me I'm cute
in the middle of a business meeting,

so why don't you skip the politeness
right now and tell me?

- Do you want to fuck me?
- No.

No?

Well, I mean, yeah.
I mean...

I don't know.
Maybe.

I hate sexual tension, Vince.
It always leads to confusion.

I couldn't agree more.

Well good.
Then let's get it out of the way.

- How?
- By fucking each other's brains out

and never talking about it
again so we can move on

to a very successful and
professional agent-client relationship.

- Sound good?
- To me it does, yeah.

Great.
See you in 20.

Okay.

Who was that?

Jewelry store girl. She's picking me up.
I'D better get changed.

What do you want
to do about Amanda?

I'll call her first thing
tomorrow, apologize.

50 bucks he ends up
banging her.