Entourage (2004–2011): Season 3, Episode 10 - I Wanna Be Sedated - full transcript

Yo, heads up.

- So?
- So what?

- So how do I look?
- You look okay.

Why are you
so dressed up?

You guys are
kidding me, right?

What is today?

What's today?
- What is today?

- Is it your birthday?
- No, it's not my fucking birthday.

I can't believe this.

I got my record deal signing
with Sammy Kane.

- Is that today?
- Oh damn, I forgot all about that.



Oh, good luck,
buddy.

Biggest day of my life
and you forgot.

You guys really suck.

Come here, Turtle!

Guy's finally breaking his cherry.
Gonna make a buck.

Don't fuck with the hat,
it's new.

How could we forget?
Look what everyone did.

- I made your favorite.
- Raspberry frosting.

Yeah, and I cut the crust off
just the way you like it.

Nice!

- I had the truck detailed.
- Really?

And I'm gonna be
driving you today.

Unbelievable.
What'd you do, Vince?

- I think I've done enough, Turtle.
- True true.



But it is still payday.

You know what? I don't think I'm gonna
be needing that anymore, Vin.

- What about parking?
- Maybe a 20?

All right, thanks, guys.
I gotta roll.

I do not want Saigon
beating me to this meeting.

I programmed the GPS.
We'll have you there in no time.

All right, let's roll.
Thanks again.

Have a good one, Turtle.
- Later, guys.

It's sad to watch the kids
leave the nest.

Well, now that they have, let's talk
adult business. You coming to see Ari?

- No.
- We haven't heard from him in a week.

It'll make a stronger
statement if you're there.

I think it'll make
a stronger statement if I'm not.

Plus I'm headed out.
I'm gonna grab a couple books.

- By yourself?
- Can't go to a bookstore by myself?

- You don't drive.
- Yeah, but I do read, E.

I do read.

Come on, come on,
come on.

Where the fuck is Saigon?

Maybe he got clipped
in a drive-by.

- That would suck.
- I'm calling him again.

It's right to voice mail.

Yo, Sai, it's Turtle...
again.

Where are you, man?
Call me back.

You know what?
Just get to the meeting.

Don't even call me back.

This is so fucked.

All right, Mr. Kane's
ready for you.

You can come up
with me.

What are you gonna do?

I have no idea.

Say a prayer.

Always wanted to do
the new Puffy album.

- Hey, yeah.
- I love this town.

Hey.

Hey, sorry to keep
you waiting, Turtle.

It's no problem at all.

So what's going on, Mr. Kane?

Just life.
So where's Saigon?

He's running
a little bit late

but he should be here
any minute.

Any minute?
It's 10:30.

Yeah. Why don't we get started
without him?

- Started on what?
- You know, the paperwork,

the signatures,
all that stuff.

I mean, we can get
started on that.

Look, you even got
this nice pen.

Don't touch the pen, Turtle.
That pen is for artists only.

Gotcha.
Sorry.

- What the fuck is going on?
- Nothing.

- Are you trying to fuck me?
- No.

Then why are you sweating like the guy
in "Midnight Express"?

Where is your client,
Turtle?

I have no idea.

You've got till 5:00 to produce him
or the deal goes away.

Hi, Eric. What do you think
of the new space?

Looking fancy.
Ari around?

Go on in. He's just going
through fabric books.

Remember me?

One never forgets
their first love, E.

- Where've you been?
- Been right here.

It's tough to leave
this paradise.

Come look.
I'm putting in a shower

right here with a steam.

If you promise to drop
your towel I might even let you use it.

Big fancy new agency,
suddenly we're not a priority?

Got a lot of priorities, E.

Two weeks ago when you had nothing,
it was all Vince all the time.

I sent over 20 scripts.
He won't read them.

He read them.
He didn't like them.

When Vince is ready to work,
I will work for him.

You know, you really are a front-running
douche bag, you know that?

Bob Ryan is outside.
He said to tell you

that he will hoist himself on his own
petard if you don't come see him.

I don't know what it means
but it sounds dangerous.

You're not seriously leaving in
the middle of this conversation?

Conversations usually end after one
person calls the other a douche bag.

You called him a douche bag?

- He doesn't like that.
- Ari!

Check out the new Italian marble, E.
I'll be right back.

- Who gave Bob the new address?
- Not me.

Don't spend the whole day
reminiscing, Ari.

Don't tell me how
to do my job, Barbara.

Well well, you know
I'd have an easier time

getting a face-to-face
with Osama bin Laden.

Try making
an appointment, Bob.

Appointments are for salesmen, kid.
Come here.

What...

what can I do
for you, Bob?

Finally pay me back
for helping you sign

Billy Friedkin when you were
barely out of the mailroom.

How many Mrs. Beasley's
Baskets will it take to make you smile?

Just throw me a movie star
I can take to the studios.

And you know I'm not
leaving until you do.

I know.
I know.

E!
You know Vincent Chase?

Vincent Chase?
I haven't seen a kid that good-looking

since I was
that good-looking.

Meet Eric Murphy,
Vincent Chase's manager.

- Hi, nice to meet you.
- Hi, nice to meet you.

This is Bob Ryan.
He's a legend.

The guy has almost as many Oscars
as John Williams.

He produced "Network,"
"The Sting,"

"Dog Day Afternoon,"
many others.

Wow.
Those are great movies.

What if I was to tell you
I have a movie better than any of those

that would be perfect
for Vincent Chase?

Now would that be something
you might be interested in?

- Definitely.
- Boom, I'm a matchmaker.

I love it. Have lunch, talk it over.
How about that?

- My driver's waiting outside.
- Great.

- Come, let's go.
- Thanks, Ari.

Thanks, Ari.

- That was mean.
- To which one of them?

Hey, thanks, man.
Keep the change.

No, Turtle, there were no calls
at the house.

I don't know what
the fuck to do, Vin.

I don't know where he is.
This is bad.

I'm sorry, Turtle.
Anything I can do?

No, I'll figure it out.

- Call me if you need me.
- Thanks, Vince.

All right, later.

I'd be careful if I were you.

Why is that?

I saw paparazzi out there.
I don't think you want

to get busted checking out
your own picture.

Good looking out.

No problem.

I thought we were
going to The Ivy.

Oh, forget The Ivy.

What if I was to tell you
that my chef Raoul Pepefirio

made a steak so delicious
that Cliff Robertson

used to come to the house
three times a week just to eat it?

Now would a steak like that be something
you might be interested in?

Yeah, sure.
I like steak.

Great. And wait till you see
my maid Marsha.

Quite the stunner.

Marlon Brando used to come to the house
three times a week

just to stick it
in her ass.

And that was before
it was fashionable.

- Where is your house, Bob?
- What?

My second time coming to this
neighborhood without my nunchucks.

I am not happy.

Oh, you're not happy?

I got 40 grand riding on finding Saigon
in the next four hours.

If I don't, I'm gonna kill myself by
eating all your Propecia pills.

Relax, Turtle.
Relax.

Hey, Turtle.
How're you doing?

- Not great.
- Oh, what's the problem?

Well, me and Saigon had
our big record signing today

and he didn't show. I was just wondering
if he was okay.

Oh, I don't know
nothing about that.

You don't know about the record signing
or you don't know if he's okay?

I don't know nothing
about nothing.

- He's not home, is he?
- No, he ain't here.

You need to excuse me.
I've got my church group inside

and it's not polite
to keep the Lord waiting.

No.

- Hmm.
- Something here ain't right.

Yeah, no shit, Columbo.
But how does that help me?

What are you doing?
Drama!

There's a plasma
the size of a Cadillac.

But I don't hear
any gospel music.

Whoa!

What the hell
are you boys doing?

Sorry to bother you
again, ma'am,

but can I use
your phone, please?

It's a local call.
Won't take very long.

Okay, hurry it up.

- You making the call or what?
- No.

- I'm all good.
- Good.

Oh, ma'am. I'd like to ask you
one more thing.

You didn't ask me anything.

Do you know anyone staying
at The Standard Hotel?

What...

It's on your call log,
Mrs. Saigon.

What do you have
to say about that?

I don't have nothing
to say about nothing.

Just as I thought.

What the fuck
is going on?

I don't know.

But I think the answer
lies at The Standard.

So... do you always work
the bookstores looking for lunch dates?

You tend to find a classier woman than
you would at the track.

Oh!
I bet you find

a different woman to have
lunch with every day.

No. Sadly I usually
spend my lunches

- with my three knucklehead friends.
- Oh.

But it's becoming clear
to me I should ditch them more often.

Oh.

Oh, thank you.

Thank you, Alan.

So, Bob, tell me about this project you
think Vince would be perfect for.

After we digest, Eric,

after we digest.

- So what do you think of this place?
- It's great.

You know,
I paid 140 grand for it in 1967.

Steve McQueen told me
I was out of my mind.

It's worth
13 million today.

What if I was to tell you
you could buy a place for 140 grand

and someday it will
be worth $13 million?

Is that something you
might be interested in?

Of course, Bob.
Who wouldn't?

Ah, there she is.

Marsha, come here.

I want you to say hello
to my friend.

She's still got
the legs, huh?

I don't see anything
under the name Saigon.

He's a black man
about yo high,

probably carrying a Glock.
Do you guys have a metal detector here?

- No, we don't.
- Thanks anyway.

- Mmm-hmm.
- You really think he's at this hotel?

I know he is.

I can feel him.

What, are you auditioning
for "Medium," jerkoff?

Whatever.
He's here.

- Well, let's go find him.
- How?

Come on.
This time I got a plan.

I didn't expect to be
doing this today.

You said you needed
to go shopping.

I know. But, like, you didn't have
anything better to do?

Nicole,
I'm unemployed.

Besides, this has been one of the most
fulfilling days I've had in weeks.

Are you coming out?
I want to see you in that dress.

No, I'm embarrassed.

You come in.

It looked bigger
on the hanger.

I want to show you
this room, Eric.

You know, Sam Peckinpah
screened "Straw Dogs"

for the very first time
right here in this room.

Yeah, everyone knew he had
a big hit on his hands.

A lot ofjealous people
in the house that night, I'll tell you.

- I bet. Listen, Bob...
- Everyone thinks it was

Nicholson and Beatty
back in the day,

but it was Dusty Hoffman
that got more pussy than anybody.

And a lot of it right here
in this room.

- So tell me about this project.
- Sit.

Sit. Yeah.
Can I get you anything, Eric?

- No, I'm good.
- You know, coffee, tea...

- I'm good.
... liquor, milk?

- Just had a big steak.
- Okay.

Hey, I got some
great home movies.

How would you like to see
Candy Bergen playing tennis

in her underwear?
Fantastic ass.

Maybe next time, Bob.

Of course. I'm sure you have
a million things to do,

a young kid like you.

I was once a young kid
like you, Eric.

You don't have a project,
do you, Bob?

No, I don't.

But I figure if we sit here long enough
and brainstorm we'll come up with one.

You know, Bob, I got a million things
to do. I gotta get back to the house.

In '68 I locked
Dennis Hopper in the bathroom

with nothing but a handful
of mushrooms and bingo,

- he came up with "Easy Rider. "
- Bob...

Unfortunately I couldn't
get him out of there for almost a week.

Bob!

When a man nears
the end of his life

you know what he begins
to think about?

He thinks about
how he'll be remembered.

I've made 42 movies,
20 of them classics,

six nominations,
three statues.

But if I were to drop
dead right now,

you know what
I'd be remembered for?

"Cutthroat Island. "

Stay a little while longer
and talk to me,

- please, Eric.
- Okay, Bob.

I just need
to use the bathroom.

Oh yeah, yeah.
Third door on the right

right past my Picasso.

Technically it still
belongs to Roman,

but what are the chances
of him coming back for it?

- Ari.
- Check out the jib arm

on this bad boy, Babs.

That's great. Now if you could only
teach it to sign clients.

Are we not rocking
and rolling?

I had a half a million dollar
day for this agency.

And in the spirit of competition,
I hope you plan on catching up.

Here's my million dollar
call right now.

Excuse me.

- Call to apologize, E?
- Ari, this guy's got nothing.

He won't let me leave.
I don't even know where I am.

What if I was to send
a cab to pick you up,

is that something you might
be interested in?

- You knew, you motherfucker?
- I knew what?

That you called me
a douche bag this morning?

- I'm sensitive, did you know that?
- Ari, you will pay for this.

You okay in there, Eric?

I'll be right there, Bob.

Somebody's in a mood.

- Yes?
- Saigon ain't in there, is he?

- Excuse me?
- Never mind. Thank you.

Nice plan.

Just keep moving.
Stop being lazy.

If I have to do this myself
we'll be here all night.

Looking for someone
named Saigon.

Hmm?

- Forget it.
- This sucks.

Should have spent
my day with Vince.

Bob, please!

I need to go home.

Just looking for
the car keys, Eric.

You have a driver, Bob.

Gave up looking
for the driver, Eric.

Oh, Joey Ramone.

You're probably too young
to know who that is.

Actually, I know him well. These guys
are from the same street as us.

- You come from Queens?
- Yeah, born and raised.

Vince too. It's actually
his favorite band.

Too bad you don't have
a project about them, Bob.

What if I was to tell you
that somewhere in this house

I've got a script
about The Ramones?

Yes, if I can read it
on the way home,

it's something I might
be interested in.

Don't be a wise-ass.

Nobody home.

Okay, that's it.
I'm done.

No, you are not done.
You work for me, remember?

- This is my day.
- That isn't official.

You think you're having
a bad day, Drama?

This is the worst day
of my life.

Come on, man.
Stick with me, please?

All right.
You're right, Turtle.

I'm sorry.
Let's go check the fourth floor.

What floor y'all going to?

Whatever floor
y'all're going to.

How're you guys doing?

Oh hey, looks like we're going
to the same party, ladies.

Hey, what's up, ladies?

Grab that drink
and drone in here.

- Okay.
- Sure a party.

I remember ordering
the bitches,

but I don't recall
ordering no white boys.

We're here
to see Saigon.

- Is he expecting you?
- Bingo.

Of course. We got more class than
to show up unannounced.

Bedroom.

Thank you.

What's up with you bad cats?

Yo, Sai, what the fuck?

Shit.
Turtle, what are you doing here?

What am I doing here?
What are you doing here?

You missed the signing.
I've been calling you all day.

I should have called you back.
It's my bad.

- Yeah, you think?
- Shut the fuck up, Drama.

Come outside, man.
Let me talk to you

away from all these
nosy motherfuckers.

I swear to God
I've never done this before.

- Are you a virgin?
- Ha ha.

No,
middle of the day,

a stranger.

We should
do it again.

Uh, yeah, maybe.

Maybe?
Come on, I think we get along great.

And I'm not working.

Do you really like me?

Uh, are you kidding?

I don't know.
I mean,

come on, you must have
like a million girls.

Yeah, sure, I have
a couple of options.

I'm not gonna lie.

I had a great time.
I think we should do it again tomorrow.

- Vince, I can't.
- Why not?

I'm getting married.

Ha ha.

No, really.

- You're getting married?
- Yeah.

- Oh Jesus.
- No, it's not what you think.

See, you were
on my list.

Your list?

My celebrity list.

Me and my fiance,
we both have them

and we agreed that
if either one of us

ever had the chance
to...

and, well...

Now I just have to hope he doesn't
run into Cameron Diaz.

You know you're
my nigga, right?

And I appreciate everything
you've done for me, for real.

But?
There's always a but.

Shut the fuck up,
Drama!

- But I got another manager.
- What?

It's not what you think. I signed with
this guy like 10 years ago.

- He skipped town on me.
- You signed papers?

No, this guy don't work
with papers, man.

He's back. He's holding me
to my contract.

What about the deal
I got you?

I appreciated that deal
even though it was

with the whitest
hip-hop label around.

But he got me
a better deal, man.

And that's why
we're here now.

Saigon, I'd like to have a word with
this alleged manager.

- Oh yeah, Drama?
- Yeah.

Here he comes right now.
Yo, Bunky, what up?

What up, Sai-diddy?
Who are these crackers?

Crackers?

This is Turtle. This is my boy I was
telling you about.

Oh, you tell him
it was good?

Yeah, he did. But did Saigon tell you
he's got papers with Turtle?

That was drafted
by the law firm

of Zyman, Weintraub

and three other Jewish names
I have since forgotten.

Yeah, well he was supposed
to tell you I deaded those.

Since he didn't, I'm telling you:
Those contracts are dead.

Hey, Bunk, what do you say we don't try
and strong-arm each other, huh?

My man Turtle has got
signed legal documents.

What is threatening
us gonna do?

Show this scarecrow
the view.

Scarecrow?
Whoa, hey hey!

- I got a pilot this week!
What the fuck?!

Chill, man, chill.

- Turtle!
- He getting heavy yet?

You gonna throw him over the balcony
with 50 witnesses by the pool?

Yeah, 'cause I got 10 witnesses
that's gonna swear he jumped.

Yo, coz, man, no need
for all this shit, man.

We agreed you'd take
care of Turtle.

Yeah, but I didn't know
I was gonna get insulted

by the dude from "Viking Quest. "

You watch "Viking Quest"?

Turtle, tell him how much you was
supposed to get off the deal you got me.

60 grand.

All right,
break the kid off his 60.

But if I find out
it was a penny less,

I'm gonna make
a house call, for real.

- It might have been 40.
- Yeah, that's what I thought.

- Malik, break him off 35.
- Let him get his 40, man.

Give him his 40.

You okay, Drama?

Yeah.
You should have held out.

I think I could've
made the pool.

This is great, Bob.
I love the angle.

You know the Ramones started
the punk rock movement, Eric.

And they never got
the credit they deserved.

How come they never
made this movie?

We came close
so many times.

Oliver Stone was gonna do it
and then "The Doors" came up.

Morrison was dead,
it seemed a better sale, so...

Yeah, well now that Joey Ramone
is gone, we can sell this.

Ha ha, I love your
passion, Eric.

I love it.

Here's our guy right here. Excuse me,
driver, would you pull over?

Hey, Vince, hop in.

Ah!

What's happening, man?
Not much.

- How was your day?
- Uneventful.

- You?
- We had a lovely day.

- Who's this?
- Vincent Chase, Bob Ryan.

A pleasure.

Bob Ryan?
"Butch Cassidy" Bob Ryan?

Someone with a sense
of history.

- Great to meet you.
- We found your next movie, Vince.

Oh yeah, what's that?

See if this is something
you might be interested in.

Vince, what's up?

It's time to go to work, Ari.
I've got my next project.

And his next producer.

You might be interested
in reading this.