Entourage (2004–2011): Season 2, Episode 7 - The Sundance Kids - full transcript

This place is sweet.

- What? The airport?
- No, the film festival, bro.

Take it all in.

Your first film festival
only happens once, Vince.

I let my first one pass me by.

Barely remember a thing.

What was that first festival again, Drama?

'Cause we barely remember it either.

Palm Springs International '93.

I was the toast of the town.

I thought I told you guys about this.



Fuck Palm Springs.

Did they have 6 inches
of fresh powder over there?

No, but they did have a sandstorm

that nearly blew Bob Hope off the podium.

I hear the slopes out here are insane.

Give me a break.

Anywhere you can ski
in short sleeves is for pussies.

They got no ice out here.

- Well, who wants to ski on ice?
- Men, E.

- Men who like speed.
- I'm with Drama.

There's nothing like the possibility

of a good head-on collision.

If you can ski Hunter Mountain,
you can ski anywhere.

- Yeah.
- First, we're boarding, not skiing.



Second of all, you guys
have been on boards twice.

One of those times was in the store

- when we were testing them.
- Sounds like a challenge.

I'll put up a G for the first man down the hill,

unless I win, then you all
have to walk home barefoot.

- I'm in.
- I'm in.

What's Sundance without
the spirit of competition? I'm in.

Hey, E, you sure Cameron's coming?

I don't see his name on any of these signs.

It's in the bag.

They're probably cleaning
the wings of his 767 right now.

Or maybe he's got
some new vehicle that burrows

its way through the center of the earth.

Sorry, I'm late. The dog sled only does 30.

- Hey, Shauna.
- Hi, you look gorgeous.

- Thank you.
- How was the flight?

- Good. Made it.
- Car's outside. Come on.

- I'll catch up. I'm gonna hit the head.
- Hurry up.

Nothin' like a good shit.

Hey, give me
one of those towels, will you, kid?

Here. Trash it.

- Harvey, right?
- Yeah.

I'm Eric Murphy. I represent Vincent Chase.

Ari Gold represents Vincent Chase.

Ari's his agent. I'm his manager.

Tell me something. The managers, agents,

what the hell is the difference
between you guys?

Managers are the ones who care.

That's good. I like that.

You're not serious, are you?

21A.

Attention, please.

United Airlines flight 6566...

Guys, this is your driver Cassie.

She's a good California girl, so be nice.

Cassie's leaving on Sunday

to track down dolphin poachers
for Greenpeace.

Actually, it's not Greenpeace.
It's the Peace Corps.

That's sweet. Hi.

Whatever. This is Vincent, Turtle and Drama.

Cassie, how you doin'? Peace Corps, huh?

- Where you gonna be stationed?
- The Sudan.

Those are some lucky Sudaners.

That's called Sudanens, jackass.

Actually, it's Sudanese,

but with your accents, I'll let it slide.

Watch out for these two.

They get out of line, smack 'em.

- Oh, no, they're sweet.
Smack 'em anyway.

Let's go.
- Guess who's breaking bread at 2:50?

- Who eats at 2:50?
- Harvey Weingard.

Oh! Harvey's a prick to work for,
but he's a genius.

Everything he touches turns to Oscar gold.

You're the man, E.

- Fantastic. Good job, man.
Thank you.

I don't get why we have to share a room.

Seriously. I need my own space to operate.

Yo, guys. E found the movie.
E gets his own room.

You can attack this gift basket
if you stop complaining.

Multiple Sidekicks! EBay, baby!

Yeah. What do I get?

In Palm Springs,
I had a king-size bed all to myself.

Yeah, he tried to bang a bunch
of senior citizens, but he's a non-closer!

- Oh, you slay me, E.
- Drama, one more complaint out of you,

and you're not getting
those two tickets I scored

to the Alejandro what's-his-name's screening.

- Teva! The Spanish Spielberg!
- Yeah.

Thank you. I thought they were sold out.

You know what? Fuck all you guys.

When I score this guy's
matador movie next year,

I'm gonna get my own condo.

Well, let's go check out our quarters.

You gotta be shittin' me.

Bottom!

Give me a call when you guys
want me to pick you up.

What was that number again?

Don't worry, I already got it. Come on!

Drama, if you were a stand-up guy,

you'd back off Cassie.

- Why would I do that?
- Because I saw her first.

Bullshit. I distinctly recall

hitting the airport curb before you did.

Actually, guys, I walked out
and I saw her first.

Look at their faces! I'm kidding.

There's a whole mountain full of women.

- You guys are gonna compete over one?
- It's a little weird.

You come to Utah to hit on
a girl from Pasadena?

You can't choose who you fall for, bro.

On the way here, I was dreaming
of hooking up with a nice Mormon girl.

Why don't you go after a Mormon?
They're all over the place.

Everyone knows they know how
to treat their men right.

They're like Catholic girls times 100.

You think the night before
a Mormon wedding a guy says,

"How am I gonna sleep with the same
eight women for the rest of my life?"

I've been married.
Loving one girl right is tough enough.

- Loving eight would be impossible.
- Vince could do it.

I don't know. What if I get divorced?

Paying alimony would be a killer.

Nah, they don't get half.
They only get an eighth.

They get a ninth, you moron, or else
Vince would get left with nothing.

You're looking out, E.
Always saving me money.

- Oh! Oh!
- What? What?

You don't let your guard down! Come on!

- Don't take the bear!
- Oh!

Oh, he went behind the back!

Drop the girl!

All right! I give, I give. I give.

Got your ass Sonny Corleone-style, Gold.

Good aim could keep you in
minimum wage for the rest of your life.

What's up, man? You're on fire, baby.
You kidding me?

Every distributor in town is here to see Q.B.

Can he pick 'em, or what?

Harvey Weingard, "King of Sundance,"
is looking to buy it, too.

- How do you know?
- E stalked him in the airport bathroom.

Really? Took the initiative. I like it.

We should put a gold star on his forehead.

I did a little more than take initiative.
I got us a lunch.

- Bullshit.
- Yeah, it's true.

2:50 today.

2:50? Everyone knows 2:50
is a jerk-off meeting.

What's he gonna do,
clear his throat until 3:00 comes?

You don't have to worry about it,

- 'cause he said not to bring you.
- Not to bring me? Really?

Without me, he'd be producing

Kevin Smith movies for the rest of his life.

Guys, I gotta run
or I'm gonna miss the Teva flick.

Are we not hitting the slopes at all today?

Not me. I'm gonna grab Cassie

and introduce her
to Spanish New Wave cinema, brother.

- New Wave is French.
- It's still in Europe.

Yeah, Europe.

You really want to go head-to-head with me?

Bring it on, bitch. Toodleoo.

ARl:
Go back, put on the gloves. I go in,

'cause they're real and beautiful.
And I celebrate them.

Hey, don't let him kid you.
This guy's a fagelah!

Good to see you, baby.
You know Vinnie Chase.

- Vinnie.
- Yes.

- Hello, Vincent.
- Hello.

- Eric.
- Yeah, hi.

- Ticket?
- Sidekick?

Sonny Bono presented me
with the bronze ribbon himself.

My mom's got it hanging up in the foyer.

Wow. Sonny Bono.

Did you ever meet Cher?

No, but I did play racquetball

with Rob Camilletti for years.

Hey, guys.
- Hey!

Could you slide down one? Thank you.

What'd I miss?

First time I came to Park City,

just to give you an idea,

Redford was fucking Sonia Braga.

Harvey, it's 2:54. We got six minutes left.

- Let's talk about something real.
- I know about Cameron.

The big shaygitz is coming tomorrow.
The big Jew is here today.

And I don't have to see Queens Boulevard

to validate you, my friend.

- So what do you got?
- Whoa, Eric, aggressive. I like that.

What I got is a book.
It's an adaptation of a Kem Nunn novel.

- You know it, Tapping the Source?
- The surfing thing?

I've been trying to make
this movie for 15 years.

And I'm just looking for the right actor
to ride the wave with me.

I read a draft of that script. It's pretty good.

- It's fucking great!
- I thought Josh Hartnett was doing it.

Hartnett's out. He has no motor skills.

He can't stand up on a moving object.

So what do you boys think?

I have excellent hand-eye coordination.

Great. We start shooting in Australia

in three weeks. See you there.

Bye.

Bravo! Bravo!

Bravo! Bravo!

Jesus! You're like the proud mother, Drama!

Shut up, Turtle. The guy's a god.

Johnny's very passionate.

Passion is my business, honey.

Don't call her "honey. "

Okay, we'll begin the Q&A.

- You up there.
- Great film! Congratulations!

Very powerful stuff, Alejandro.

I notice you use a lot
of authentic people in films.

Authentic people are so much better
than cartoons or robots.

That's a good one, Drama.

Blow me, dickhead.

Okay, next?
- Wait. I'm not finished.

It's only one question per person.

That wasn't a question, that was a statement.

- Sounded like a question to me.
- No, this is a question,

in two parts.

Are you interested in seeing any films
while you're here, Alejandro?

And would you ever consider an American
with some Chilean blood in him

for the part of Raoul in The Bull Fighter?

I would consider anyone
who would bring truth to the role.

Good, 'cause I'm the sixth lead
in Queens Boulevard,

and I would be delighted
if you would be my guest.

What do you think?

If the dates don't conflict
with Aquaman, it sounds great.

Vincent, this is Jen and Corine.
They're corporate publicists.

I'm the one who sends you your cases
of Budweiser every month.

But I'm the one that sent you your Maserati.

Vincent, please don't drink and drive.

Hi, girls. Nice to see you. Find real work.

Vinnie, I need you. Come here.

And that's Ari Gold, and he's a real asshole.

- I just got done with Harvey.
- And?

Grab your scuba tanks,
because we are going to Australia, baby.

Melbourne. The Gold Coast.

The Great Barrier "Reefer madness. "

We don't understand
how we're gonna do both movies.

We're not gonna do both.

So what, we have to pick one?

No, we don't. It's a no-brainer.

It's been picked for us.

One is real and the other isn't.

We had Cameron come watch
the movie for nothing?

We didn't have him watch it for nothing.

We used this to leverage something real.

You don't come to Sundance
for the snow, you come for the heat.

Africa's great. You're gonna love it.

Give me a buzz if you see any seven-footers.

My cousin Joey's a scout at St. John's.

How did you know the Sudan was in Africa,
Mr. Geography?

I know everything about the Sudan.

For example, it's in Northern Africa.

Population 38 million. Give or take a few.

Their currency is the "dinar. "

Their major exports are oil,
petroleum products and ground nuts.

Wow, Turtle.

It's great you have this
intellectual curiosity for the Sudanese.

I'm a humanitarian at heart.

Especially when it comes
to indigenous cultures.

Yeah, I'm curious, too.

How the fuck did you know all that?

I googled it, motherfucker. Keep up.

ARl:
$3 million and it goes in three weeks.

The money will be in Vinnie's bank account

before he touches down in Sydney. Boom!

Can't we stall Harvey till Cameron
sees Queens Boulevard?

You can't stall Harvey. You out of your mind?

He's gonna announce this before
the premiere of Queens Boulevard.

He knows how to maximize his press.
Here's the deal.

Don't fuck this thing up again.

Tapping the Source is
an unbelievable opportunity for you.

Whoa, Ari. James Cameron
flew all the way here just to see me,

and you just wanna blow it off?

What?

Ari?

Are you hyperventilating?

- No, I...
- What is it, the altitude?

- No, he...
- Want me to call the paramedics?

He didn't just come to see you.

Who else did he come to see?

He came to see...
Ryan Gosling's got a movie here.

James Franco.
There's a lot of guys that have movies here.

You are on a short list for Aquaman.

- But you're on a list.
- Do you ever tell the truth?

I tell the parts that matter.

I didn't think this would come up.
This is meant to be.

Vinnie, I am telling you.
And it's right there for us.

- Should I tell Harvey yes, or...
- Hold on, Ari.

- No problem.
- Just give me a second to think.

Take your time, baby.

E?

What are you hearing about
the Gosling and Franco movies?

- They good?
- I hear they're great.

I hear every movie at Sundance
is the best movie ever made.

- I don't know.
- Well?

You know, it sounds like
the safe move, Vince.

- What do you want me to say?
- It's the only move.

Okay.

Fine.

Tell Harvey "no fucking Speedos. "

There you go, baby. Men at Work.
The Land Down Under.

We're gonna get drunk with Russell Crowe
and we're gonna head-butt some kangaroos.

Yo, you think this is a cash bar?

I'm getting Vince.

You get the little one.

What? He's cute, too.

Bullshit!

I gave you Jake Gyllenhaal in Telluride.

We all loved you in The Station Agent, Peter.

Fucking hope so.
That's why I signed on with you people.

If you would've signed earlier,
we could've slipped you into Bad Santa.

Actually, I passed on that. Thank you.

You're one of the biggest actors
in this town, Peter.

What is that, a play on words, dickhead?

I tolerate agents. I don't like them.

Peter!

- Don't listen to a word this bum says.
- Fuck off, Harvey.

Whoa, he's an angry little fucker, isn't he?

- Tiny meshuguna.
- You all right?

What's the word, Ari, on the picture?

You ready to get wet, big man?

Let's go surfing. We are in.

- Yes! Okay.
- Yes, we're in.

- There they are right there.
- Where?

Look, Vinnie's right there.

See you in Australia!

It's all a matter of preference.

Do you prefer tall, lean and handsome?

Or short, fat and ugly?

You know what? He's right.

Do you want somebody
who's cute, funny and cuddly?

Or somebody who's bitter, out of work

and losing his hair by the minute?

- I'm not losing my hair.
- Yeah, you are.

Guys, I believe in love.

And love has no face,

and no weight,

definitely no receding hairline.

Look, I want to talk to you both
about something.

Best friends should treat each other

with loyalty and respect.

They should never compete
for the same woman.

Because even if one of them wins,

then they both lose.

I'm gonna go to the bathroom.

You guys figure out a way to get along,

and I will be right back.

That was deep.

She's right.

This is crazy. What are we fightin' for?

This girl's gonna be gone by tomorrow.

By tomorrow night, she'll be a memory.

And we gotta spend
every waking minute together.

So what do you want to do?

- I want the memory.
- So do I.

- Fuck you!
- Fuck me? Fuck you!

I said it first.

Shauna tells me that James Cameron
flew all the way out here

- just to see your movie.
- Well, yeah, sort of.

God, that is so cool.
I lived for Titanic in high school.

Oh, my God. Me, too.

I must have seen it like, 400 times.

E,

how many times did we see
Aliens in high school?

What are we doing?

- We're playing it safe.
- Since when do we do that?

Since you got yourself millions in overhead.

James Cameron. This is once-in-a-lifetime.

I mean, the guy makes
a movie every ten years.

I'm with you, but I can't keep
telling you to take these crazy chances.

This is your life.
It's not mine to fuck around with.

This is our life. Don't forget that, all right?

I need you acting from your gut.

That's why I have you here.

What if he doesn't like Queens Boulevard?

So we'll do another commercial.

Maybe Cassie will help us
sell Pepsi to the Sudanese.

Come on, you want to roll the dice?

Yeah, I want to roll the dice.

Good. Let's roll the dice.

Should I call Ari right now?

Hey, are you guys gonna yap all night,

or are we gonna party?

We'll see him at breakfast.

We'll see him in the morning.

I shouldn't.

Come on.
You're going away to Africa for two years.

They got nothing
but shit bush-weed over there.

You know, Cassie, you've inspired me.

I'm not gonna join the Corps, per se,

but I think when I get home,
I'm gonna log in some time

downtown at the soup kitchen.

You know, every time I see
a homeless person, I cry.

- Seriously.
- Come on.

Guys, are you for real,

or is this an act and you're both
still trying to get with me?

Actually, I'm still trying to get with you.

Me too. I'm just a way better actor than he is.

Look, Cassie,

this is our last night together.

If you're interested in either of us,

we think you should choose.

Yeah, who's it gonna be?

What?

Why don't you guys show me
your bunk beds?

- Hey, good luck on the premiere.
- Hey, thanks, my friend.

Come on, Drama, don't be a dick.

Don't touch me, Turtle!

I can't hear you. I can't see you.

I don't even wanna know you.

You're yelling, all right?

What's your problem, Drama?

Me and Drama had a little incident.

- What kind of incident?
- Don't fucking say it.

No, no, say it.

We accidentally crossed swords.

Really?

Were there any women there at least?

Yeah, dick, it was a threesome, okay?
It's no biggie.

Crossing is an occupational hazard.

Guess who just closed a deal

on the new Osmond
pay-per-view Christmas special?

NC-17, baby.
Gonna get Marie to undo the top button.

I gotta go find Alejandro.

Don't be an asshole.

- Ari.
- What's up?

- We got a problem.
- What's up, Vinnie?

- We need to talk.
- What's going on?

E's gonna talk.
I'm gonna go talk to Peter Sarsgaard.

All right.

- What's goin' on?
- We decided we're gonna wait

for James Cameron to see Queens Boulevard.

Very funny. What's up?

No joke. Seriously. Tell Harvey thanks,

- but we'll catch him on the next one.
- You don't flip-flop on Harvey.

- He's about to do a press conference.
- You should stop him

- to avoid a problem.
- He's right in there.

Why don't you go stop him?

- Fine. He's in here?
- Yeah.

- Vincent.
- Good luck, Vince.

There you are.
I was getting ready to call in the dogs.

- I'm right here.
- There's my guy.

- Hey, Billy. What's up?
- I hope this thing doesn't suck.

Since when do you worry?

I had a dream last night people hated it.

They tore me and you to pieces.

I shaved my head. I'm a fuckin' mess.

I'm sure it's great.
Have you shown it to anybody?

- Me, my editor, and my mother.
- What'd your mother think?

She thought it was garbage,
but she's a fuckin' moron.

- ARl: Mr. Walsh!
- Fuck off, supersuit!

I don't talk to people like you
before a screening.

Flatter me! Listen to me.

- I made up my mind. Let it go.
- You don't wanna...

What will be will be.

We better get in there now.

Stop grinding me. I'm not gonna say it again.

It ain't intentional, asshole.

Check it out. It's Cameron.

That Vincent Chase is
the coolest kid I ever seen.

I'd go see any movie he was in

even if it was a big piece of shit!

One more question, Mr. Cameron.

Was the sinking of the ship

an attempt to foreshadow

the forthcoming sinking
of the tech market in 2000?

No. Actually, I just wanted
to make young girls cry.

Can I get some
of the Sour Patch Kids, please?

You little shitbag!

You wanted a job for Vince.
And now you fucked me?

Do you know who I am?

You're gonna beg to get back
into the pizza business!

I'm trying to do what's best...

Ah, fuck you! You and that fucking kid!

The two of you are about
to go down a river of shit!

You hear me? That's it. You're finished.

I will never offer that kid a fucking job again!

Ari Gold's gonna catch a smack, too!

Fucking Harvey.

Is this on?

Okay, good. Thank you all for coming.

I just wanna take this time to thank

our brilliant director Mr. Walsh.

- Yeah!
- Vinnie!

And I would also like
to thank Vinnie over here.

Yeah, Vince!

The guy's a fucking genius.
Say something, Vinnie.

Thanks, Billy.

The guy's a great director.

I hope you like the movie. And if you don't,

Billy's staying at the Marriott in room 512.

Oh, and if anybody's gotta use the can,

the movie's running
almost four hours, so do it now.

Thank you.

Four fuckin' hours?

You made a four-hour movie?

This is my fucking Deer Hunter, Rick.

How'd it go with Harvey?

- Fine. He wished you luck tonight.
- Yeah? Cool.

- Here we go.
Come on.

Four hours long, and they cut me out
of the whole fucking movie!

But the line you spoke

was delivered with such angst, Johnny.

Thank you, Alejandro.

I do have an abundance of that.

You are amazing. That was brilliant!

This is going to do great shit for your career.

We got press to do tomorrow morning,

- so don't party too hard tonight.
- That movie played great.

I'll bet you Cameron loved it.

- What?
- I don't want to say anything.

- But he left pretty early on.
- How early on?

- 10 minutes in.
- Fuck.

That can't be good.

Yo, I just got an audition for
the next Alejandro Teva film.

What, you guys aren't happy for me?

- Cameron left after 10 minutes.
- Fuck it!

We're scorching hot in the indie world.
You kiddin' me?

You hear it in there? They loved us.

We can make art house flicks
for the next 10 years.

Who wants a shot of Jack?

Fuck it! Let's go boarding.

We probably should have taken a lesson

before we came up here.

This hill is a lot bigger
than the one I did at Big Bear.

Maybe Cassie's right,

competition amongst friends
isn't such a great idea.

Yeah?

Yeah, he's right here.

It's Ari. Says it's an emergency.

Ho! What's up?

Vinnie, say hello to James Cameron.

Call me Jim, Vince.

Okay, Jim.

What's happenin'?

I could only stay for a bit of the film.

But I've got to tell you,
it was all I needed to see.

How'd you like to come play Aquaman for me?

Sure, I could do that for you.

Fantastic. Let's get together next week.
We'll talk about it.

Okay, great.

I'll see you then. Looking forward to it.

Talk to you later. Bye.

Cameron just offered me Aquaman.

- What?
- Yes!

- Yeah, baby!
- Good job, E.

Gotta figure out a way
to get you off this mountain.

I don't need you breaking your neck
before you start this movie.

Are you kidding? We just got Aquaman!

I'm raising the stakes.

10 G's to the first guy who gets down there.

- 10 G's?
- I'll give you a head start, Turtle.

Later.