Endangered Species (2014–…): Season 1, Episode 23 - Rear WindOW - full transcript

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♪ Let's go on
an adventure! ♪

♪ That isn't very wise! ♪

[laughs]

I love you guys.

Whaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!

Whoaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!

♪ This is getting crazier! ♪

♪ It's like we're
Endangered.... ♪

♪ Species! ♪

Welcome to Cactus Falls:



The kind of town where
if something stinks...

it's probably dead.

[gulps]

Wait.

Eugene.

What are you doing!?

Eugene!

[yelps]

I thought this was
about kittens

who live on a singing rainbow??!

[screams]
Ahhhhh!!!!!!

Turn it off!

I got ya, pal!

Whoops!



Oh no!

The day I have feared
has come.

It is the attack of
the moles!

Hide!

[yells]
Yaargh!!!!!!!

I was just introducing Gull
to my new favorite show;

He's starting
to come around to it!

[cries]

Eh, I see the Gull,
but...

But nothing!

All is well!

This reminds me of --

RUN, GULL, RUN!!!!

Huh?

Oh, you remember then?

When we review our--

(Both): Please don't say it--

El Drillo de la Disaster!

Disaster drills!

Oh yeah!

[groans]

Not again...

Oh, oh yeah.

[sighs]

The Safety, yes?

She begins with the safety
nuts method.

Who can remember each safety
nut and what she stand for?

Ahhh...Merl, all those nuts
look the same.

[laughs]
Yes!

They are the same.

This is how you remember
them, no?

Oh! Oh! Oh!

[sighs]

Yes, Gull?

I'm a survival!

Close, but no.

The nut, uno, it means:
Stay calm.

[relieved sigh]

The nut, dos:
Always listen to Merl.

That's me.

The nut, tres:
Follow Merl.

That's me.

And if all above should fail,
cuatroma:

Everyone under the bed.

Oh! Oh! Oh!

[sighs]

Yes, Gull?

I'm a survival!

[gasps]

What if there's
an earthquake?!

Eh, a what?

You know, a BIG, GIANT,
LOUD earthquake

that SPLITS the stump in half!?
Kapoom!

[gasps]

[screams]
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[grunts]

Well, if that happens
to the nuts,

then WE DO The Safety Nuts.

Uno: stay calm.

Dos: always listen
to what I say --

What if we can't hear you?
Tres: follow Merl.

What if we can't see you!

Cuatro nut:
everyone under the bed!

That is NUTS!!!

No, it is the...

SAFETY NUTS!

Now, moving on to our
biggest threat --

Moles...

Wait...

What if there's a ghost!?

Stay calm.

Always listen.

Follow me and--

(All): Everyone under the bed...

Hmm! Correctumondo, muchachos...

Wait a minute!

Anyone can sit around getting
prepared for the "expected",

but what about the...

[grim]
Unexpected...

Ever thought about what
would happen to this place

if it was attacked
by Aliens!?

[whimpers]

Or Zombies!?

[gasps]

What about a Hurricat?

Please stop!

Or a Volgator!?

[screams]
Ahhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!

What--

What are these things
you speak of?

Huh?

A Hurricat, you ask?

It's only a Hurricane that
rains down ANGRY CATS.

Cats, Merl! Cats!

This... it is not possiblea.

And a Volgator!?

Boy oh boy, you don't
even wanna know!

It's a volcano
that erupts lava...

with GATORS swimming
in it!

[gasps]

No more, yes?

Ugh, we're sitting ducks
over here.

This stump couldn't stop
a Skunk's sneeze,

never-mind a Hurricat.
[screeches]

Okay... The Safety,
she needs more!

More! More!

Wanna prepare for disaster,
do ya!?

I'll help ya prepare
for disaster.

[thunder]

Aye, nothing says
Monday morning like a...

ZOMBIE ATTACK.

Braiiins....

[screams]
Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!

Horror! Terror!

Look at this terrifying,

brainless creature who wants
to eat your brain, Merl!

Brains!

[screeches]

He is heading
straight for the stump!

What do we do!?

What do we do!?

Simple, really.

We all know Zombies can
only walk straight,

so we HAVE to dig TRENCHES
around the yard.

Yes, yes!

The trenches, they will
cause the mucho confusiona, yes.

Heh.

Brains...

[grunts]

Brains!

[grunts]

Brains!

Ah!

Brains!

[grunts]

[sighs]

Sure, these trenches
may stop the Zombies...

buuut they're basically rolling
out the welcome mats for...

The Aliens!

Greetings, Earthlings.

I have come to harvest
your juices.

Protect your juices!

[screams]
Ahhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!

[laughs]

Diabolical laughter.

We should be safe
from the aliens in here.

Yeah... Until a lava arrives.

Lava? In the stump?!?

Where!?

Lava! Lava!

Gull, stop it.

Lava is nothing to kid about,
yes?

Lava, lava.

Lava! Lava!

Stop! You must stop!

Lava! Lava!

No! The lava, she is
a making a mess.

It's heading right for us!

This is madness!

You must cease this madness!

Oh this is even worse
than the moles!

Lava!

[screams]
Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!

We must use the safety
nut method!

Step uno:
Stay calm.

Step dos:
Always listen to Merl.

Step tres:
Follow Merl.

Cuatronut:
Everybody under the bed!

Glub, glub, glubbb.

[bubbles]

Nutty Buddy! Nooo!!!

It's not working!

We need to move on
to Plan B!

The Plan B, what is this?

Evacuation.

You first, Merl.

Safety Slides?

Now this I can--

[screams]
Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!

[screams]
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

UGH!!!!!!

YARGH!!

[groans]

Whooo-hoooo!!!!!!!!

[grunts]

[chuckles]

That safety slide is
WAY too dangerous.

Let's do it again!

Wait... The Danger --
she is dangerous.

And The Safety --
she is dangerous too?

Now ya got it.

That's actually what I've been
tryin' to show ya all along.

Gull? A demonstration please?

I'm being Safe!

[grunts]

[clears throat]

Now... I'm a DANGER!

See the difference?

THERE IS NONE!

Exactly.

No matter what we do,
we can't always be safe.

So...

Then we must prepare
the Stump,

she must be indestructabla!

No, we just go on
and enjoy our lives,

without a care in
the world,

cause it doesn't make
any difference anyway.

[hums]

I 'm being blissfully ignorant!

I'm okay!

See? It's all good.

Yes...it will be good.

That should do it!

Barb wire, sharp spikes, canons,
multiple walls and moats,

an impenetrable tower,
equipped with its own ladder,

and vicious guard buddy.

Now I am prepared
for anything!

[laughs]

[groans]

Did you miss the previous
seven scenes

of completely ridiculous,
over-the-top danger.

Life is for livin', Merl!

No, this is the living!

Structured. Safe.

The living, she is
now indestructdebla.

[laughs]

Uhh, Merl, ya got that crazy
look in your eye again...

Yes, the look she says...

We are prepared.

We are...

invincible!!

[laughs]

Yep. Heard ya the first time.

Uh... Merl...

Where'd you get all the wood
for these barricades anyway?

Uh... Perhaps, I take a leeeetle
bit from the roof.

The aerial attack, she
is very unlikely, yes?

But it does rain a lot.

I'm Unpredictable Weather!

Boom! Crash!

Lightning strike.

Drizzle.

[gasps]

The rain...

She does the mocking of me
and my safety preparedness.

Yeah, whatevs.

At least ya got
an umbrella, right?

Umbrella...?

Wow, Merl, you really need
to start being more prepared.

Huh?

Perhaps, the rain...

it will not be so bad?

[screams]
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Safety...

[screams]
Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She mocks me.

[screams]
Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[humming]

Is there a better way
to start the morning

than polishing the nuts?

I think not.

[gasp]

The twitchy tail.

This can only mean
one thing:

A storm, she is a-coming!

[bird chirping]

Gull!

We must check the weather
TV Rapido!

It is the emergency!

Uh-uh, soon
times good buddy.

I really want to see how
this parade turns out.

Gull, are you watching
another parade?

Yu-hu, I recorded it so I can
watch it over and over again.

I just love a parade.

You do not understand,
a storm is coming,

and preparations,
they must be made!

Storm, where are you getting
that from?

From the tailbonita of me,
she never lies.

And today she did
the twitching.

So baton downing of
the hatches mis amigos,

because the storm, she always
follows the twitch,

always has, always will.

Ooh! My tail feathers
react to wind too!

[loud fart]

That was a force 5.

I don't know Merl,
looks pretty calm out there.

Oh, storm winds there will be!

The question is:
how strong?

And this shall be answered by,
Mi Windsock Favorito!

This windsock is a family
heirloom yes?

It has saved countless
generations of squirrels

from being blown away
in the stormy winds.

Without it, great uncle Samuel
would have been lost.

The Favourite Windsock of Me,

it never lies about
the danger to come.

Now step aside,
aside I say!

The Storm, she is
headed our way!

The winds, they are strong,
but how strong?

Mi Windsock Favorito,
she shall tell us, yes?

No, no no nooo!

[struggling]

UGH!!!!!!!

Too dangerouso, only
a fool would try to get up

there in the stormy winds.

YAY! Parade!

Heh!

♪ Parade, Parade, ♪

[giggles]

♪ parade hahah ♪

[farting]

Ohh! It's just not the same!

Look at all those folks
on TV.

Now THAT'S a parade.

How do I get that?

Well, they usually only
do parades for like, heroes.

Uh-huh!

And sports stars.

Yes!

Or people who save
the world.

Yeah...

I'm-I'm none of those.

Astronauts, they get the parade.

They go up into the sky and then
they come down for the parade.

Convenienté yes?

Yeah astronauts!

Yeah!! But, what's an astro...

nut?

Astro-naut?!

Someone who flies into space,
or even the Moon!

Wow, going to the moon
sounds easy,

sure, why not!

Send me to the moon!

Magnifico!

We will launch-a to the moon
post-haste!

But you'll need to make
a little stop first.

[gasp]

Mi Windsock Favourito!

We hurry yes!?

The storm, she grows stronger,
and the windsock,

she grows weaker.

Wait! Won't the storm endanger
Gull's launch?!

Nah. It is safe.

Now get him in the capsule
yes!

Astronaut Gull is good
to go!

[fart]

Oop! Oh heh.

In more ways than one!

Gull is locked and loaded,
ready to boldy go

where no Gull has gone before.
[munching]

Merl! Are you stress
eating again?

But I am just so worried, what
if he doesn't return!?

My life, she would
be so empty!

Awww, I'm sure Gull
will be fine!

Gull!?

I was talking about Mi
Windsock Favour-err,

Gull, I was talking about
the Gull,

naturlaimundo.

Would you feel better
if we delayed the launch.

Ehhh, I already pressed
the button.

26...25...24...23...

Wait! I forget to give Gull
the high-tech satellite

for tracking Mi Windsock
Favourito!

I got this...

WOAA!!

10...9...

8...7...6...5...4...

Hurry!! The countdown -- it does
the counting of the down!

3...2...1...

Blasting of the off!

[loud explosion sounds]

YAY!

Uh... Hou-stump
we have a problem.

A problem with TOO
MUCH FUN!!!

What was that?

The storm, she is upon us!

Gull!

Commence with the maneuvers
of the retrieval satellite!

Uh...copy! Roger Wilco!...

I have no idea what that is.

Listen to me carefully so
I can guide you through it.

First, find the thing
on your shoulders...

He means your head,
over...

...and remove it from the
spherical waste disposal unit.

He means get your head out
of the toilet, Gull, over.

Awwww, do I gots to????

So pretty...

All the stars!

Gull, you must use
the focus yes?

Now, carefully extend
the retrieval satellite.

Careful, do not harm the
delicate instrumentationne!

Nice and easy, eh...
that's it!

Gull, did you make
the contact?

GULL!?

Ay-yi-yi, the circuit is dead,
something is wrong!

Reestablishing visual contact!

No... no...

NOOOOO!

The fault, it is all mine yes?

I endangered mi amigo.

Why why whyyyyy!!

Come on Merl!

We can't give up on Gull yet.

Gull!? Who said anything
about the Gull-

-oh, all right uh... him too.

Now listen very carefully
Pickle,

we must determine
the correct trajectory

for you to dislodge the rocket

and send it on the path
of following Mi Windsock

Favourito!

Roger that!

Calculating trajectory.

Into the wild blue yonderrrrr!

This is it!

I am now free of
earth's grav-er-ty!

Gull-speed,
mi amigo, Gull-speed!

What does the radar say?

Will he make it to the moon?

Will he? Will he?!

I do not know.

Because this appears to be
a timer for the festive lights.

WEEEEEEEEEEE!

BEEP, BINK, BLEEP, BLOOP!!

BEEP BLEEP BLONK!

[loud crash]

So this is the moon!

[gasp]

Yeahhhh!

One small step for a Gull--

Ahhhh!!!!!

Low grav-er-ty!

Merl mentioned that!

[sniff]

No way...

[gasp]

It's true!

The moon is made of CHEESE!

Very, very, VERY STINKY cheese!

[munching]

[gasp]

[gasp]

A fridge!

Oh good, I am thirsty!

Aw, someone drank
all the juice!

Aliens!?

WAHHHHHHHHHH!

WAHHHHHHHHHH!

WAHHHHHHHHHH!

WAHHHHHHHHHH!

WAHHHHHHHHHH-HAAAAAAA!

The blue-footed booby
has saved us!

(All): Blue-footed Booby,
Hooray!

Uh, the blue-footed Booby
is a seabird,

but I am actually a gull!

As in 'Gullrilla'?

I'm what you call a
higher primate. Yup.

[gorilla noises]

(All): Hooray! The toilet
has returned!

Ah yeah!!!!!!!!!!!

HOORAY!

[cheering]

(chanting): Parade! Parade!
Parade! Parade!

Wait a second...

this reminds me of something.

Can you guys be quiet for
a second?

I'm trying to think of what
this reminds me of.

WAIT! That's it! A parade!

I'm in...

a PARADE!

(chanting): Parade! Parade!
Parade! Parade!

Found him!

Told you he was headed here!

Hey Pickle, you were right
about going to the moon --

but the moon peeps...

they give you a parade
when you get HERE,

NOT when you get back!

Should we tell him that
he's NOT on the moon

but in the local dump?

The gull, the bunny,
they get the parade, yes?

But me?

Where is my ending of happiness?

[happy yelping]

Mi wind sock favourito,
I thought I lost you!

The ending, she's a happy one
after all-

UGH!!!!

(chanting): Parade! Parade!
Parade! Parade!

[giggle]

Best parade ever!