Empty Nest (1988–1995): Season 7, Episode 24 - Remembrance of Clips Past - full transcript
While at Laverne's going away party everyone remembers old times as she prepares to get married and move back to her home town.
Doctors, here's the want ad
for my replacement.
You know, I thought you might
wanna take a look at it
before I send it
in the newspaper.
You know, I still
can't believe you're leavin' us.
It was a tough decision,
you know.
Get married,
move back to hickory,
live happily ever after
with the man I love,
or stay here with you two.
Still, your not being here
is gonna take
some gettin' used to.
I took that
into consideration. Here...
"Wanted: Nurse. 5 ft 6, 110 lb,
southern accent preferred.
Fascinating anecdotes
about hometown a plus"?
And a mute button would be nice.
You and your techno jokes.
You know, I was thinking...
We should probably have
some sort of party
in honor of her leaving.
Yeah, I was plannin' on
knockin' off
a case of champagne.
But that's after she leaves.
♪ I'm always here
♪ for anything you need...
♪ ...we share it all
♪ as life goes on
So who are we gonna get
to arrange this
little shindig for Laverne?
- Don't look at me.
I'm a boy.
You know who'd be great
at planning it?
Laverne.
Exactly.
Okay, so when she gets back,
we'll ask her to do it.
- Good idea!
Also ask her if she thinks
it should be a surprise party.
Well, it's not really fair to
stick her with the whole thing.
Why don't we just
ask everybody to pitch in?
You're right, I mean,
when you think about it,
we all bring our own
unique talents.
Please, Laverne...
No more balloons.
You see that pink one
over there?
- Yeah.
- It's one of my lungs.
♪ Kumbaya, my lord
♪ Kumbaya
♪ Kumbaya, my lord
♪ Kumbaya
♪ lord, kumba... ya
isn't that great?
Carol, how did you ever find it?
It was in the attic,
behind some boxes,
stuffed in a rolled-up carpet
under that old sofa-bed.
- I know where it was.
How did you ever find it?
Well, I was looking
for my trumpet.
You'll never find that.
- Remember this one, daddy?
- Yes.
But I haven't sung anything yet.
- I remember them all.
- It's Jimmy crack corn.
And I don't care.
Yes!
Whassup?
What's happenin'?
Sssally!
Hee-hee-hee, hoo-hoo.
Somebody burning tires in here?
Sofia, you little tease!
These are my new, delectable,
fat-free, sugar-free,
wheat-free, low-sodium cookies.
What do you think
I should call them?
Crap ahoy.
Law, y'all,
everything looks so good.
I think we should start with
a toast to our guest of honor.
To Laverne higby Todd,
soon to be Kane.
A long and happy life.
Hey, I can't reach.
Who needs you?
Life is short, and so am I.
So, Laverne,
does it feel strange
to be moving back to hickory?
Well, it will be
a bit of an adjustment,
but I am lookin' forward to it.
Now of course I know
a lot of y'all think
it's just a hick town.
- Laverne, don't be silly.
Whatever gave you that idea?
I picked up
on a few hints here and there.
Pretty good joke?
No, just one of them
crazy stories from back home.
You've heard me talk
about tater Norton.
Yes, the illustrious
tater Norton. How is he?
A big nut just like always.
But now last week,
tater's daughter got married.
- Yeah, what's her name?
- Succotash?
Jane, but the folks just
call her "junebug" for short.
Tater's daughter junebug?
Anyway,
she had this weddin' and...
It was just pure "d" hickory.
Yeah, a real hickory wedding?
When she come down the aisle,
the organist play Dixie.
Dixie.
Let's see... how many possums
in the bride's dowry?
Was it a single
or a double barrel ceremony?
Dr. Weston... Dr. Douglas...
Y'uns best prepare yourselves
for a big shock.
You have a phd in English?
She reminds me
of emmabelle sweeney.
- Let me guess...
Rabbi friend of yours?
Anyway emmabelle
could drink and entire Martini
through her nose.
- Will you stop it?
That... that's nonsense.
I seen it myself.
A couple of years ago,
she inhaled the olive too,
so now whenever she sneezes
she passes out
for a minute or two.
She like to show out
at parties too.
Drink, sneeze, pass out,
drink, sneeze, pass out.
You know, like 'em
little faintin' goats.
Fainting goats?
You even have
colorful farm animals?
Yeah, you know
them cute little goats
that faint if you scare 'em.
Buddy hickson had one.
Named it "scare me Bob."
Now you get emmabelle
and that goat at a party,
Emma'd sneeze, scare Bob,
they'd both be on the floor
with their feet in the air.
No one touched
my famous spinach souffle.
That's because we all know
what it's famous for.
I'm stuffed!
Aw, me too.
I may never eat again.
What's for dessert?
Laverne,
you didn't eat very much.
Well, to tell you the truth,
I haven't had much of
an appetite lately, you know,
what with all these
life changes and all.
Well, dear, change is
what life's about, you know...
Birth, marriage...
Death.
It's not so bad.
At least you don't have
to buy anyone a present.
Carol, how do you explain
the dizziness,
the light-headedness,
the nausea?
Hello!
Some doctor you are!
The spinster's
not heartbroken. She knocked up!
- Carol, you're...
You're not having a baby.
I see.
So then I'm just incredibly fat.
No, no, no, no, no, I just meant
that you're not having
a baby right now.
You're... you're having
Braxton Hicks contractions.
It's kind of a... false labor.
False?
This labor is false?
Mother of god, then what are
real contractions like?
- Daddy, it's coming.
I can feel it, it's coming.
- Okay, all right, all right.
She's ready, um...
Go get me some newspapers
or some towels
try to find me some scissors
tell the management
what's going on here
and call an ambulance.
- That's too many things!
- I'll do it!
Well, I get to
call the ambulance!
Come on, sweetheart.
I wish Maxine were here
to do it.
You're my father.
I don't care who does it!
Just get that baby outta there!
All right, okay now,
remember your breathing!
- Breathe, baby! Yeah, good!
- God! God!
The pain! The pain!
Now comes the good part.
Lucia has gone mad
and Edgar's about to
kill himself.
I can't hear! Knock it off!
- Okay, baby, you're okay.
- Ambulance is on it's way.
Here you go.
- Thank you very much.
Okay, baby.
- God, I need to push.
It's okay.
- I need to push.
- All right...
- Come on! Shut up, up there!
All right, now.
- Here it comes now.
- Okay, breathe.
There you go dear.
Come on, it's coming!
It's coming!
- Okay, I called the...
- Ee!
All right...
Here we go!
Aw! Look how pretty!
It's a boy!
You had a boy!
Charley
hey, how're you doin', pal?
How was your cousin's funeral?
Boy, what a downer!
That's why
they call it "funeral"
and not "mardi gras."
- It was really depressing.
Listening to all those people
talk about
what a great guy Max was
made me realize
that when I die...
Nobody'll care.
- Charley, that's not true.
- Of course it's not.
Sure!
Like you're gonna miss me.
Well, Charley, just because
we've had a difficult
relationship in the past
doesn't mean that...
Daddy won't miss you.
Right, daddy?
Absolutely.
- And... and Sophia will miss you.
Won't you, Sophia?
Yeah, yeah, pass the ketchup.
Come on, now, Sophia, you'd
remember Charley if he died.
- You kiddin'?
I can't even remember
why I needed the ketchup.
Hey, westons!
I got great news,
and here's a little hint:
Ding-dong! Ding-dong!
You made it with the avon lady.
- No! Those are wedding bells!
I'm getting married.
No... absolutely not!
But what do you mean
no bachelor party?
Then why get married?
Look, Charley, you know,
I can ask Carol if she could
put together a quiet little
engagement party.
The kind of thing
you can invite your parents to.
Sounds great.
But mom and dad haven't been
getting along lately.
It's almost as if they don't
like each other anymore.
Charley, they got divorced.
- Yeah.
That just made it worse.
Hey, I wonder
who got custody of me.
I did!
Shawna! Nice to see you!
Where's your husband?
I'm not married!
- I forgot.
You got a divorce.
No, my mommy and daddy
got a divorce.
I'm sorry! Geez,
I didn't... I didn't know!
I didn't know!
I want Dr. Tyler back now!
Yes, we all do, dear!
Dr. Tyler... god!
All right everyone. Coffee and
dessert. Gather around.
Yes! Here we go!
Come on, dreyfuss!
Looks like someone
can use some trainin'.
What can I tell you?
I smacked her
with the newspaper,
but she left
the cake out anyway.
Well we'll just have to make
do with the ice-cream I brought.
I put it in the freezer,
out of the reach
of bad-mannered animals.
Hey, we got
anything to go with this?
Another obedience school
dropout.
It's not their fault.
You know what they say
about old dogs and news tricks.
Yeah, but one of them
has an excuse.
He's not a human being.
I guess you'll tell us
which one later.
Dreyf...
Who called the damn dog?
Four-letter word
for "leave quickly."
Flee! Very good!
Ssh!
- Panty raid! Panty raid!
Panty raid!
Okay, here we go!
This ones from Sophia.
- Aww!
Sophia, you shouldn't have.
That's what I told Harry,
but he made me.
Y'all, it's a photo album.
It's filled with memorabilia
of all the things
we did together.
It's empty.
I know. We never did
anything together.
Well, maybe you can use this
to fill it up.
Whoa, doctor,
you shouldn't have.
Doctor,
this is really beautiful!
Yeah, well, I wanted
to get you somethin' nice.
'Cause, say what you will,
we've been through
a lot together.
Doctor, my birthday's
the fifteenth too.
How 'bout that?
This explains why you
and me are so much alike.
Yeah.
Patients often tell me,
"you know, you bear
an uncanny resemblance
to that skinny white nurse."
Don't blame me!
That's the last time
I let you drive.
My drivin'
had nothin' to do with it.
You spilt that soda
while I was a-skillfully
navigatin' a road hazard.
We were airborne!
Well, it couldn't be avoided!
Laverne, the sign said "dip."
Did you think the city of Miami
was suggesting we dance?
Laverne, it's a truck.
It's a big metal machine
to get you from point "a"
to point "b".
That's it!
- Not to me.
I worked on that truck.
I laughed in that truck.
I cried in that truck.
A couple of times I even...
Okay.
You're right.
From this point forward,
I am officially
disengagin' myself
from that truck
mentally and emotionally.
Good.
Um, there's just one little
thing about the truck, doctor.
Um, this saturday’s
his birthday.
Whoa! This is gettin' scary.
Hey, I'm not askin'
to come to the party!
Hoo hoo.
Hey, doctor, how's it goin'?
I'm havin' a bad day.
On top of everything,
I just got a damn ticket.
- Where the hells Harry?
- He's runnin' a little late.
Some kinda problem with his daughter.
Now there's a shocker.
Well, he couldn't have
picked a busier day.
You know,
I bet half the people are here
just to beat the heat.
Then turn off
the damn air-conditioning.
Let 'em swelter.
I think you took one too many
cranky pills today.
Laverne, there is n...
Will you stop that?
- Well, that's it.
This is the last of them.
Laverne,
you're the guest of honor.
You're not
supposed to be cleaning up.
It's my party,
and I'll dry if I want to.
Daddy, make her stop.
- Carol, you heard her.
She's having a good time.
Hey! Join the fun, cowboy!
Just remember
who signs your checks.
- I do!
I do everything for you.
Please!
All right, break it up, you two.
You guys talk tough,
but we know better.
How about bein' useful for once
and helpin' me chance a light
bulb in the supply closet.
- Fine, all right, come on.
Let's get going.
I... I can't reach that.
I'd have to get the ladder.
- Well, now, don't bother.
I'll just get on this box
and you just hold me steady,
but be careful...
Doctor!
Doctor!
Laverne! Stop squirming,
I can't get a hold of you!
Stop it, now! You wanted
to do it? Let's do it!
Heeey... oooy!
- Hey, Perry, what's up?
- Heeey... baboom-baboom!
Ba-ba-boom!
What?
What? What's so funny?
- Sorry, what the...
What the hell are you doing?
He-he-he-he!
Boom!
Hey-hey-hey-hey?
Boom!
Hoo-hoo-ho-ho-ho!
Would you quit making
noises and say something?
Hubba-hubba-hubba-hubba!
Whoo! Whoo!
Ssh!
Ba-boom!
I'm comin', Nick!
Laverne, I'm not looking.
It's a little late now,
I already give you a lifetime
full of memories.
- Another steal!
Go, Robins! Go!
- That's travelin'!
- Go!
- That's chargin'!
- Score!
- That's...
- That, Laverne, is called...
Winning! Winning!
Yes! Yes! Yes!
Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
Your team is to be commended
on such a fine effort.
In your face, Laverne!
In your face!
In your...
- Doctor!
Sorry... face!
Whoo!
Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
Doctor.
Have you figured out
how you're gonna get Carol
to my house for the baby shower?
Yeah, I told her we're gonna
pick you up for a movie.
No good.
- Why not?
- 'Cause she'll ask what movie.
She already did. I told her
she could pick the movie.
Supposin' she don't pick one
playin' in my neighborhood.
Then you can pick the movie.
Supposin' I don't pick one
playin' in my neighborhood.
Why would you do that?
Because I have a better plan.
Now, you two will be drivin'
through my neighborhood
on the way to the mall
to pick up your tuxedo
for the hospital fundraiser.
What hospital fundraiser?
For Pete's sake,
ain't no fundraiser,
we're spinnin' a yarn.
I see... go on.
So then, you'll get
a couple of blocks from my house
and you'll pretend
your car breaks down.
But luckily,
you're near my house,
so you can come on in and use
my phone to call for help.
I have a car phone.
Say it's broken.
Say we're near a pay phone.
Say it's out of order.
Say a cop drives by.
Say he's off duty.
Say I fire your ass?
Nice party, Harry.
- Good night.
- See ya tomorrow.
I'm gonna go upstairs.
Good night, daddy.
- Good night, dear.
- Good night, Laverne!
- Good night, Carol.
I'll see ya in hickory.
- Yes!
Yes! Next time I see you,
you'll be a bride and I'll be...
A guest.
Well...
Thanks for the party.
You're very welcome.
Well...
Good night, then!
- Good night.
That didn't feel right, did it?
No, it didn't.
Well...
It's just that I'm...
I'm not very good at good-byes.
I guess neither one of us is.
I'm really gonna miss you,
doctor.
- Me too, Laverne.
Me too.
Well...
See you tomorrow!
- Right.
Polly wanna cracker.
Polly wanna cracker.
Polly wanna cracker.
Polly wanna cracker.
Polly wanna cracker.
Polly wanna cracker.
Okay, now let's try another one.
Pretty boy.
Pretty boy.
Pretty boy.
Pretty boy.
for my replacement.
You know, I thought you might
wanna take a look at it
before I send it
in the newspaper.
You know, I still
can't believe you're leavin' us.
It was a tough decision,
you know.
Get married,
move back to hickory,
live happily ever after
with the man I love,
or stay here with you two.
Still, your not being here
is gonna take
some gettin' used to.
I took that
into consideration. Here...
"Wanted: Nurse. 5 ft 6, 110 lb,
southern accent preferred.
Fascinating anecdotes
about hometown a plus"?
And a mute button would be nice.
You and your techno jokes.
You know, I was thinking...
We should probably have
some sort of party
in honor of her leaving.
Yeah, I was plannin' on
knockin' off
a case of champagne.
But that's after she leaves.
♪ I'm always here
♪ for anything you need...
♪ ...we share it all
♪ as life goes on
So who are we gonna get
to arrange this
little shindig for Laverne?
- Don't look at me.
I'm a boy.
You know who'd be great
at planning it?
Laverne.
Exactly.
Okay, so when she gets back,
we'll ask her to do it.
- Good idea!
Also ask her if she thinks
it should be a surprise party.
Well, it's not really fair to
stick her with the whole thing.
Why don't we just
ask everybody to pitch in?
You're right, I mean,
when you think about it,
we all bring our own
unique talents.
Please, Laverne...
No more balloons.
You see that pink one
over there?
- Yeah.
- It's one of my lungs.
♪ Kumbaya, my lord
♪ Kumbaya
♪ Kumbaya, my lord
♪ Kumbaya
♪ lord, kumba... ya
isn't that great?
Carol, how did you ever find it?
It was in the attic,
behind some boxes,
stuffed in a rolled-up carpet
under that old sofa-bed.
- I know where it was.
How did you ever find it?
Well, I was looking
for my trumpet.
You'll never find that.
- Remember this one, daddy?
- Yes.
But I haven't sung anything yet.
- I remember them all.
- It's Jimmy crack corn.
And I don't care.
Yes!
Whassup?
What's happenin'?
Sssally!
Hee-hee-hee, hoo-hoo.
Somebody burning tires in here?
Sofia, you little tease!
These are my new, delectable,
fat-free, sugar-free,
wheat-free, low-sodium cookies.
What do you think
I should call them?
Crap ahoy.
Law, y'all,
everything looks so good.
I think we should start with
a toast to our guest of honor.
To Laverne higby Todd,
soon to be Kane.
A long and happy life.
Hey, I can't reach.
Who needs you?
Life is short, and so am I.
So, Laverne,
does it feel strange
to be moving back to hickory?
Well, it will be
a bit of an adjustment,
but I am lookin' forward to it.
Now of course I know
a lot of y'all think
it's just a hick town.
- Laverne, don't be silly.
Whatever gave you that idea?
I picked up
on a few hints here and there.
Pretty good joke?
No, just one of them
crazy stories from back home.
You've heard me talk
about tater Norton.
Yes, the illustrious
tater Norton. How is he?
A big nut just like always.
But now last week,
tater's daughter got married.
- Yeah, what's her name?
- Succotash?
Jane, but the folks just
call her "junebug" for short.
Tater's daughter junebug?
Anyway,
she had this weddin' and...
It was just pure "d" hickory.
Yeah, a real hickory wedding?
When she come down the aisle,
the organist play Dixie.
Dixie.
Let's see... how many possums
in the bride's dowry?
Was it a single
or a double barrel ceremony?
Dr. Weston... Dr. Douglas...
Y'uns best prepare yourselves
for a big shock.
You have a phd in English?
She reminds me
of emmabelle sweeney.
- Let me guess...
Rabbi friend of yours?
Anyway emmabelle
could drink and entire Martini
through her nose.
- Will you stop it?
That... that's nonsense.
I seen it myself.
A couple of years ago,
she inhaled the olive too,
so now whenever she sneezes
she passes out
for a minute or two.
She like to show out
at parties too.
Drink, sneeze, pass out,
drink, sneeze, pass out.
You know, like 'em
little faintin' goats.
Fainting goats?
You even have
colorful farm animals?
Yeah, you know
them cute little goats
that faint if you scare 'em.
Buddy hickson had one.
Named it "scare me Bob."
Now you get emmabelle
and that goat at a party,
Emma'd sneeze, scare Bob,
they'd both be on the floor
with their feet in the air.
No one touched
my famous spinach souffle.
That's because we all know
what it's famous for.
I'm stuffed!
Aw, me too.
I may never eat again.
What's for dessert?
Laverne,
you didn't eat very much.
Well, to tell you the truth,
I haven't had much of
an appetite lately, you know,
what with all these
life changes and all.
Well, dear, change is
what life's about, you know...
Birth, marriage...
Death.
It's not so bad.
At least you don't have
to buy anyone a present.
Carol, how do you explain
the dizziness,
the light-headedness,
the nausea?
Hello!
Some doctor you are!
The spinster's
not heartbroken. She knocked up!
- Carol, you're...
You're not having a baby.
I see.
So then I'm just incredibly fat.
No, no, no, no, no, I just meant
that you're not having
a baby right now.
You're... you're having
Braxton Hicks contractions.
It's kind of a... false labor.
False?
This labor is false?
Mother of god, then what are
real contractions like?
- Daddy, it's coming.
I can feel it, it's coming.
- Okay, all right, all right.
She's ready, um...
Go get me some newspapers
or some towels
try to find me some scissors
tell the management
what's going on here
and call an ambulance.
- That's too many things!
- I'll do it!
Well, I get to
call the ambulance!
Come on, sweetheart.
I wish Maxine were here
to do it.
You're my father.
I don't care who does it!
Just get that baby outta there!
All right, okay now,
remember your breathing!
- Breathe, baby! Yeah, good!
- God! God!
The pain! The pain!
Now comes the good part.
Lucia has gone mad
and Edgar's about to
kill himself.
I can't hear! Knock it off!
- Okay, baby, you're okay.
- Ambulance is on it's way.
Here you go.
- Thank you very much.
Okay, baby.
- God, I need to push.
It's okay.
- I need to push.
- All right...
- Come on! Shut up, up there!
All right, now.
- Here it comes now.
- Okay, breathe.
There you go dear.
Come on, it's coming!
It's coming!
- Okay, I called the...
- Ee!
All right...
Here we go!
Aw! Look how pretty!
It's a boy!
You had a boy!
Charley
hey, how're you doin', pal?
How was your cousin's funeral?
Boy, what a downer!
That's why
they call it "funeral"
and not "mardi gras."
- It was really depressing.
Listening to all those people
talk about
what a great guy Max was
made me realize
that when I die...
Nobody'll care.
- Charley, that's not true.
- Of course it's not.
Sure!
Like you're gonna miss me.
Well, Charley, just because
we've had a difficult
relationship in the past
doesn't mean that...
Daddy won't miss you.
Right, daddy?
Absolutely.
- And... and Sophia will miss you.
Won't you, Sophia?
Yeah, yeah, pass the ketchup.
Come on, now, Sophia, you'd
remember Charley if he died.
- You kiddin'?
I can't even remember
why I needed the ketchup.
Hey, westons!
I got great news,
and here's a little hint:
Ding-dong! Ding-dong!
You made it with the avon lady.
- No! Those are wedding bells!
I'm getting married.
No... absolutely not!
But what do you mean
no bachelor party?
Then why get married?
Look, Charley, you know,
I can ask Carol if she could
put together a quiet little
engagement party.
The kind of thing
you can invite your parents to.
Sounds great.
But mom and dad haven't been
getting along lately.
It's almost as if they don't
like each other anymore.
Charley, they got divorced.
- Yeah.
That just made it worse.
Hey, I wonder
who got custody of me.
I did!
Shawna! Nice to see you!
Where's your husband?
I'm not married!
- I forgot.
You got a divorce.
No, my mommy and daddy
got a divorce.
I'm sorry! Geez,
I didn't... I didn't know!
I didn't know!
I want Dr. Tyler back now!
Yes, we all do, dear!
Dr. Tyler... god!
All right everyone. Coffee and
dessert. Gather around.
Yes! Here we go!
Come on, dreyfuss!
Looks like someone
can use some trainin'.
What can I tell you?
I smacked her
with the newspaper,
but she left
the cake out anyway.
Well we'll just have to make
do with the ice-cream I brought.
I put it in the freezer,
out of the reach
of bad-mannered animals.
Hey, we got
anything to go with this?
Another obedience school
dropout.
It's not their fault.
You know what they say
about old dogs and news tricks.
Yeah, but one of them
has an excuse.
He's not a human being.
I guess you'll tell us
which one later.
Dreyf...
Who called the damn dog?
Four-letter word
for "leave quickly."
Flee! Very good!
Ssh!
- Panty raid! Panty raid!
Panty raid!
Okay, here we go!
This ones from Sophia.
- Aww!
Sophia, you shouldn't have.
That's what I told Harry,
but he made me.
Y'all, it's a photo album.
It's filled with memorabilia
of all the things
we did together.
It's empty.
I know. We never did
anything together.
Well, maybe you can use this
to fill it up.
Whoa, doctor,
you shouldn't have.
Doctor,
this is really beautiful!
Yeah, well, I wanted
to get you somethin' nice.
'Cause, say what you will,
we've been through
a lot together.
Doctor, my birthday's
the fifteenth too.
How 'bout that?
This explains why you
and me are so much alike.
Yeah.
Patients often tell me,
"you know, you bear
an uncanny resemblance
to that skinny white nurse."
Don't blame me!
That's the last time
I let you drive.
My drivin'
had nothin' to do with it.
You spilt that soda
while I was a-skillfully
navigatin' a road hazard.
We were airborne!
Well, it couldn't be avoided!
Laverne, the sign said "dip."
Did you think the city of Miami
was suggesting we dance?
Laverne, it's a truck.
It's a big metal machine
to get you from point "a"
to point "b".
That's it!
- Not to me.
I worked on that truck.
I laughed in that truck.
I cried in that truck.
A couple of times I even...
Okay.
You're right.
From this point forward,
I am officially
disengagin' myself
from that truck
mentally and emotionally.
Good.
Um, there's just one little
thing about the truck, doctor.
Um, this saturday’s
his birthday.
Whoa! This is gettin' scary.
Hey, I'm not askin'
to come to the party!
Hoo hoo.
Hey, doctor, how's it goin'?
I'm havin' a bad day.
On top of everything,
I just got a damn ticket.
- Where the hells Harry?
- He's runnin' a little late.
Some kinda problem with his daughter.
Now there's a shocker.
Well, he couldn't have
picked a busier day.
You know,
I bet half the people are here
just to beat the heat.
Then turn off
the damn air-conditioning.
Let 'em swelter.
I think you took one too many
cranky pills today.
Laverne, there is n...
Will you stop that?
- Well, that's it.
This is the last of them.
Laverne,
you're the guest of honor.
You're not
supposed to be cleaning up.
It's my party,
and I'll dry if I want to.
Daddy, make her stop.
- Carol, you heard her.
She's having a good time.
Hey! Join the fun, cowboy!
Just remember
who signs your checks.
- I do!
I do everything for you.
Please!
All right, break it up, you two.
You guys talk tough,
but we know better.
How about bein' useful for once
and helpin' me chance a light
bulb in the supply closet.
- Fine, all right, come on.
Let's get going.
I... I can't reach that.
I'd have to get the ladder.
- Well, now, don't bother.
I'll just get on this box
and you just hold me steady,
but be careful...
Doctor!
Doctor!
Laverne! Stop squirming,
I can't get a hold of you!
Stop it, now! You wanted
to do it? Let's do it!
Heeey... oooy!
- Hey, Perry, what's up?
- Heeey... baboom-baboom!
Ba-ba-boom!
What?
What? What's so funny?
- Sorry, what the...
What the hell are you doing?
He-he-he-he!
Boom!
Hey-hey-hey-hey?
Boom!
Hoo-hoo-ho-ho-ho!
Would you quit making
noises and say something?
Hubba-hubba-hubba-hubba!
Whoo! Whoo!
Ssh!
Ba-boom!
I'm comin', Nick!
Laverne, I'm not looking.
It's a little late now,
I already give you a lifetime
full of memories.
- Another steal!
Go, Robins! Go!
- That's travelin'!
- Go!
- That's chargin'!
- Score!
- That's...
- That, Laverne, is called...
Winning! Winning!
Yes! Yes! Yes!
Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
Your team is to be commended
on such a fine effort.
In your face, Laverne!
In your face!
In your...
- Doctor!
Sorry... face!
Whoo!
Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
Doctor.
Have you figured out
how you're gonna get Carol
to my house for the baby shower?
Yeah, I told her we're gonna
pick you up for a movie.
No good.
- Why not?
- 'Cause she'll ask what movie.
She already did. I told her
she could pick the movie.
Supposin' she don't pick one
playin' in my neighborhood.
Then you can pick the movie.
Supposin' I don't pick one
playin' in my neighborhood.
Why would you do that?
Because I have a better plan.
Now, you two will be drivin'
through my neighborhood
on the way to the mall
to pick up your tuxedo
for the hospital fundraiser.
What hospital fundraiser?
For Pete's sake,
ain't no fundraiser,
we're spinnin' a yarn.
I see... go on.
So then, you'll get
a couple of blocks from my house
and you'll pretend
your car breaks down.
But luckily,
you're near my house,
so you can come on in and use
my phone to call for help.
I have a car phone.
Say it's broken.
Say we're near a pay phone.
Say it's out of order.
Say a cop drives by.
Say he's off duty.
Say I fire your ass?
Nice party, Harry.
- Good night.
- See ya tomorrow.
I'm gonna go upstairs.
Good night, daddy.
- Good night, dear.
- Good night, Laverne!
- Good night, Carol.
I'll see ya in hickory.
- Yes!
Yes! Next time I see you,
you'll be a bride and I'll be...
A guest.
Well...
Thanks for the party.
You're very welcome.
Well...
Good night, then!
- Good night.
That didn't feel right, did it?
No, it didn't.
Well...
It's just that I'm...
I'm not very good at good-byes.
I guess neither one of us is.
I'm really gonna miss you,
doctor.
- Me too, Laverne.
Me too.
Well...
See you tomorrow!
- Right.
Polly wanna cracker.
Polly wanna cracker.
Polly wanna cracker.
Polly wanna cracker.
Polly wanna cracker.
Polly wanna cracker.
Okay, now let's try another one.
Pretty boy.
Pretty boy.
Pretty boy.
Pretty boy.