Emma (1972–…): Season 1, Episode 5 - Episode #1.5 - full transcript

Mr.Elton has returned to Highbury with a bride, whom Emma dislikes. Mr. Knightley and Emma have disagreed about Jane, who has been taken up by Mrs. Elton.

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Evening. Evening. I'm so glad
you could come after all... Ah!

And you are looking well.
So good of you to come.

My goodness, what a fine young lady
we've become all of a sudden, eh?

- I shall expect a dance later, mind.
- Thank you, Mr Weston.

- You must not stand up for too long.
- Nonsense, my dear.

Dr Perry was most insistent
that you take care tonight.

I promise to rest when I am tired.

- Emma!
- Mrs Weston, Mr Weston! Good evening!

- Good evening, Harriet.
- Good evening, Mrs Weston.

We are early, but you did ask especially
that we be in good time.

I did. I shall be most grateful for your support.



I am sure you will not need it, but we are
prepared to do anything that may be required.

Yes indeed, Miss Woodhouse.

Emma, you are casting a critical glance
upon our decorations.

I was merely admiring your wife's taste and skill
yet again, Mr Weston.

- I have never seen this room look so well.
- It looks tolerably gay and festive, don't it?

Harriet, dear, since you were so kind
as to offer your services,

I wonder if you could find a stool or a cushion
for poor Mr Freeman's bad foot.

- Certainly, Mrs Weston.
- Thank you.

Emma, I see a young fellow who should be
no stranger to you, even after two months.

- Frank?
- You mean Mr Churchill?

- Please do not disturb him, he does not hear.
- Oh, no, no, no. Frank!

Frank, my boy!

Oh, Miss Woodhouse!
So we meet once again, eh?

No need to inquire after your health,
I have the evidence of it before me.



You equally, I am sure, have not suffered
during your absence from us.

But I have, I do assure you.

Except perhaps to have become
a little hard of hearing (!)

Oh... well, I was most anxious to see the
newcomer amongst you, the great Mrs Elton.

I have heard so much of her
in my stepmother's letters.

You will hear much more
the moment she arrives, I assure you.

She was to collect Miss Bates and Jane. She has
quite taken poor Jane under her wing lately.

- Yes, so I understand.
- Though why I say "poor Jane", I do not know.

I confess, I have a great curiosity to see the lady.

She would be vastly flattered to know that,
I am sure.

Enough of Mrs Elton. You have not forgot
we are engaged for the first dance?

Oh, but that was for a previous occasion,
Mr Churchill.

- Nonsense, you gave me your word.
- Oh, no, no. You cannot hold me to it.

Oh, very well, then. Since I see you are in
a playful mood tonight, I will begin all over again.

Miss Woodhouse, may I have the honour
and the pleasure of the first dance?

Mr Churchill, if you persist so,
what can I say but yes? Thank you.

- Good. Now we are back on firm ground again.
- (MISS BATES) Thank you, thank you!

So very obliging of you.

Not really wet, nothing to signify.

Just a passing shower, no harm done.
These stout shoes.

- But poor Jane and Mrs Elton! So unexpected...
- Has anyone an umbrella?

It came on just as we drew up
at the door, quite sharp,

and poor Jane does take cold so easily.

I said to her as we were starting out, "Jane dear,
are you sure that tippet will be enough?"

- It's all right, I have the very thing.
- Oh, Mr Churchill, I didn't know you were there.

So, Mr Knightley, if you had a mind to play
Sir Galahad yourself, you find yourself forestalled.

My dear, I hope I could help a lady from a carriage

without first advertising the fact
to the entire company.

Well, oh, Mr Weston!

Oh, how fine it all is, is it not, Jane dear?

It's quite a transformation.

You must have had an Aladdin's lamp.
It's a veritable Fairyland, truly it is.

I'm glad you like it, ma'am. I think
we shall be tolerably comfortable here, certainly.

- Do you not think Jane looks well?
- Yes.

I tell you in confidence,
she made her gown herself.

Every stitch by her own hand.

But do not repeat it,
for she would not thank me for having told you.

I said to her, "Jane, you should be proud,
there's not a dressmaker in London..."

Oh! My, it's Dr Hughes! Well, how very nice.
And Mrs Hughes.

Is this not wonderful?
Quite a transformation, in my opinion.

- Where is Mr Richard?
- He's over there.

Oh, no, don't disturb him. He's much better
employed talking to the young ladies.

- Miss Bates?
- Oh, Mr Knightley!

A fine young man I consider Frank Churchill.

The way he took my arm to hand me
from the carriage was extremely gentlemanly.

Yes, I like him very well indeed.

No, I see very few other jewels in the room,
apart from my own.

- You're very silent. Are you nervous?
- No, thank you.

You need not be. I'll see that you get partners.

Thank you,
but you really need not concern yourself.

How do you think Knight has done my hair?
Do you think this style suits me?

Yes, very well.

Nobody could think less of such matters
in a general way than I,

but I owe it to Mr and Mr Weston to look my best,
as everybody's eyes are bound to be upon me.

Jane dear, how pretty you look.

Excuse me a moment.

Jane, indeed. She's extremely easy and familiar
in her modes of speech.

- That is nothing. But how do you like her?
- Who, Mrs Elton? Not at all.

- She is handsome.
- I thought you would say that.

- Well, it is true, is it not?
- Oh, yes...

- She is handsome, but... Ah!
- (MUSIC STARTS)

I see the true business of the evening
is about to begin.

Emma, my dear, I do hope you won't mind, but I
feel obliged to ask Mrs Elton to lead the dancing.

- She will expect it.
- Of course, Mrs Weston, I understand.

- I do hope you will not feel slighted.
- No, not in the least, it is her right.

Thank you, you're very understanding.

Who are we to suggest as her partner?
She will think Frank should accompany her.

I'm sorry, Father, I have a prior engagement.

- Oh, you've engaged yourself already?
- On this occasion, I am prepared to release you.

- I refuse to be released.
- Yes, yes, of course.

I think you should ask her yourself.

I? She'll not say thank you
to stand up with an old codger.

Indeed she will. Go on with you.

Don't worry, Father, so long as she may be first,
she will not care whom it is with.

- Mr Churchill, that was not kind.
- It was not intended to be.

Oh, la, Mr Weston, must it be I once again?
Is there really no one else?

Oh, well, then, I suppose
I must say yes. (CHUCKLES)

Really, it is almost enough
to make one think of becoming a bride oneself.

- Miss Woodhouse.
- Thank you, Mr Churchill.

(JAUNTY MELODY)

Mind you, the roses at Donwell Abbey,
the arbour walk is particularly fine this year...

Thank you, and you too, Miss Woodhouse.
And Mr Churchill also.

Forgive me, Mr Weston,
we do it differently at Maple Grove.

- I do beg your pardon, Mrs Elton.
- Oh, dear, poor Harriet.

Don't worry, Elton is there.

- Do you not dance, Mr Elton?
- Most readily, if you will do me the honour.

Oh, no, my dancing days are past, I'm afraid,
but little Miss Smith here lacks a partner.

Oh, well, erm, if you'll excuse me, ma'am,
I'm not really much of a dancing man.

I only ask in the hope
that you might give me the pleasure.

An old married man these days,
so if you'll forgive me...

Mr Knightley, you and I have to number ourselves
as observers on this occasion, do we not?

- Excuse me one moment.
- Yes, of course.

Harriet. Miss Smith. Would you
do me the honour to join me on the floor?

- Me, sir?
- Yes, you, Harriet.

- Come, let us show them what we can do, hm?
- Thank you, sir. Thank you.

No need in the world to thank me.

I see Knightley's taken pity on that poor
Smith child. Very obliging of him, I must say.

(MR WESTON) Yes.
(MRS ELTON) Extremely gentlemanly.

- Oh, so fast!
- (MAN) That was enjoyable. Very nice.

Thank you, ma'am.

(MRS ELTON) It's so long since I've danced...

Most enjoyable, but far too short. I shall claim
the honour of another dance later, if I may.

Thank you, sir.

Tell me, do you, er... do you have dancing classes
with Mrs Goddard?

Jane dear, where are you?
Ah, there you are, dear.

Good evening... Jane dear, put on your tippet,
you will catch cold.

There are draughts, I can feel them.

- Aunt, I do not need it, really.
- Oh, yes, dear, you must.

Now, I don't want to have you in bed tomorrow.

- Allow me.
- Oh, Mr Churchill, how very obliging of you.

Oh, how well you put it on,
quite to the manner born.

Are you not lucky to receive so much attention?

Now, come along, dear, let us find
the supper room. It's through here, my dear...

Thank you, Harriet.

- (MRS ELTON) Jane, are you all right?
- Yes...

(MUSIC STARTS)

Thank you, Mr Knightley,
for your kindness to Harriet just now.

I consider that man's behaviour
most odious and hurtful.

I fancy they both aimed at wounding
more than poor Harriet.

- Most probably.
- Emma, why have they become your enemies?

Confess that you did think he and Harriet
would have made a good match.

I did, most mistakenly as I now see,
and they cannot forgive me for it.

Well, I shall not scold you,
I shall leave you to your reflections.

Can you trust me to such flatterers?
Does my vain spirit ever tell me I am wrong?

Not your vain spirit, perhaps,
but your serious one.

If the first leads you wrong,
I'm sure the other tells you of it.

I must confess that I was most mistaken
in my judgement of Mr Elton.

There is a littleness in him
which you saw and I did not

and I fully convinced myself
of his being in love with Harriet.

I realise I was sadly wrong.

In return for your acknowledging so much,

let me say that you would have chosen for him
better than he has.

You really think so?

Harriet Smith has many excellent qualities,
which Mrs Elton is totally without.

- I am very glad to hear you say that.
- And let me admit my own mistake.

I underestimate her. She is an unpretending,
artless, sweet-tempered girl,

infinitely to be preferred by any man
of good sense to a woman like Mrs Elton.

She is a dear, sweet creature
and worth a hundred Mrs Eltons.

Emma! You should set
these young people an example.

Everyone's lazy tonight,
everyone's half-asleep! Gentlemen!

Poor Mr Weston. We really must bestir ourselves.

Well, to whom are you engaged for this one, hm?

To you, if you will ask me.

Will you?

We are not quite so much brother and sister
as to make it at all improper.

- Brother and sister? I should think not, indeed!
- (CHUCKLES)

Oh, goodness, what a morning!

I met Miss Bates in Ford's

and had her describing Jane's gown last night
for half an hour at least,

and another half an hour describing
what was to be had at the supper table. Oh!

Has anybody called?

Harriet, my love, are you feeling unwell?

No, Mrs Goddard.

But you haven't moved
since I came in and spoke to you just now.

You spoke to me? I'm sorry, Mrs Goddard.

Well, I was about to ask
if you and Betty Bickerton

would run across the common to Donwell with
this basket and thank Mr Knightley for the apples.

To Donwell, Mrs Goddard?

But if you're too tired after your exertions
last night, one of the other girls can go with her.

Oh, no, Mrs Goddard, I'm not tired, truly I'm not,
not the least little bit.

The fresh air will do me some good.

- This basket, is it?
- Yes, dear.

- Shall I give him your thanks?
- Of course.

Well, that is... if I happen to see him.

Oh, thank you, Mrs Goddard!
We shall not be long.

Oh, my bonnet... Oh! Betty, Betty!

(CHUCKLES)

There's quite a fresh wind, I fear.
The trees are moving somewhat.

- I don't know whether I'm wise.
- I'm quite sure you are, Papa.

There's a dark cloud.
I should have gone before, it was foolish of me.

Oh, it is nothing, Papa.
It is a beautiful May morning.

I did not ask you to accompany me
because you should get all the rest you can.

Late nights don't suit you.

Oh, nonsense, Papa, I am in the best of health,
and besides, I was not late.

Oh, you are so like your poor dear mother.

Never mind, my child, I will look after you.

Oh, hurry up!

- We should never have come this way.
- It's quicker.

- (SNAP)
- What's that?

- (TWIGS SNAPPING)
- Oh, it's only the gypsies. They won't see us.

Come on.

There, you see?
The sun has come out to greet you.

- Oh, come on.
- Are you sure it's safe?

- Of course it is.
- (SNAP AND RUSTLING)

(GASPS) Betty...

- Oh, Betty.
- Quick, run!

- Spare us a copper, miss?
- Go away.

- Spare a copper for the gypsies?
- Go away, I have no money. Leave me alone!

You've a lucky face, lady.
Read your palm, shall I?

- Go away!
- Shall I read your palm, eh? Tell your fortune?

- Shall I?
- Don't touch me. Leave me alone!

Go away, I have nothing to give you,
I have no money!

Take your filthy hands off me!

- (SHRIEKS)
- (CHILDREN LAUGH)

- Showin' her petticoat! Showin' her petticoat!
- Someone help me...

(MAN SHOUTS)

Run!

What's all this, then?

Miss Smith! What's happened?
What have those ruffians done to you?

Thank you, sir. Thank you.

(SIGHS)

(CHURCHILL) Can you manage? Nearly there.

There we are, then. There we are.

- Harriet, Mr Churchill, what has happened?
- May she sit down, please? She feels faint.

Please, bring her in here. But is she hurt?

Oh, not hurt, thank heaven,
merely frightened. There.

- Those confounded gypsies on the common.
- Oh, no!

It's all right. By the greatest good fortune,
I was passing by and drove them away.

- You saved her?
- Oh, it was nothing. They were only children.

They would scarcely have harmed her,

though she was in some distress
when I reached her.

- Well... now I must be going.
- Oh, Mr Churchill, will you not stay a while?

I cannot, I am already late,
but I leave her in good hands.

Goodbye, Miss Woodhouse, Miss Smith.

Oh, my poor dear Harriet,
are you sure you suffered no hurt?

No, Miss Woodhouse. He drove them off!

But your gown... look!

- That must have been when I fell.
- You fell?

Yes, but he pulled me up.
He helped me to my feet again.

But what were you doing
crossing the common alone?

Oh, I was not alone, Miss Woodhouse.
Betty was with me.

- Betty?
- Betty Bickerton, but she ran away.

Really, it was the greatest good fortune

that he was crossing the common at
that very moment, was it not, Miss Woodhouse?

Mr Churchill, I mean.

Indeed it was, Harriet.

Oh, Miss Woodhouse, I think Mr Churchill
is the bravest man I have ever known.

Well, then, sometime, when you feel you can,
you should go and thank him for his kindness.

Miss Woodhouse, do you think I might?
Would it be proper?

Oh, perfectly proper.
Indeed, I consider it to be your duty.

- Miss Woodhouse...
- No, you stay there until you are fully recovered.

I will bring my work in to join you.

Miss Woodhouse,
there is something I must tell you,

a confession I have to make.

A confession? About what, pray, Harriet?

It is my wish that I should have no secrets
from you, Miss Woodhouse, absolutely none.

Well, thank you, Harriet.

I fear I have been guilty in the past of...

a very foolish and ill-judged affection.

I think you know to whom I refer.

Yes, I think so, Harriet.

Oh, Miss Woodhouse,
how can I have behaved in such a manner?

The very thought of it now fills me with shame.

Why did you not chide me for my stupidity?

You are referring to Mr Elton, I imagine?

It seems now like madness.
I can see nothing at all extraordinary in him.

I do not care whether I meet him or not,

except of the two, I would rather not.

And I do not envy his wife in the least,
not the least little bit.

And I thought the bonnet she wore to church
last Sunday quite hideous.

Well, then, I consider your cure complete.

- There is just one more thing, Miss Woodhouse.
- Oh, and what is that?

(WHISPERS) Open it.

- It looks like a piece of old court-plaster.
- It is.

Oh, Miss Woodhouse, do you not remember?

- You must.
- Remember what, for goodness' sake?

It was here in this very room.

He was sharpening a pencil
and... and he cut his finger.

You recommended court-plaster but had none
with you, so I used some of my own.

Oh, yes, yes, now I DO remember.

Oh, my dearest Harriet, you make me
more ashamed of myself than I can bear.

But why, Miss Woodhouse?

Well, you see, Harriet,
I had plenty with me in my pocket,

but I thought to leave you alone
to perform this little healing act for him yourself.

Oh, my sins, I deserve to be under
a continual blush for the rest of my life.

No, Miss Woodhouse.

You see, I cut him a piece, but it was too large,

so he cut it smaller and stood playing with a piece
in his hand a little before dropping it aside.

So as soon as you and he had gone out
of the room, I found the piece upon the floor

and in my nonsense

I made a treasure of it.

I have worn it in my locket next to my...

to my person from that day to this.

Oh, my dearest Harriet, what can I say?

Miss Woodhouse, I am going to burn it. Now.

- Harriet, are you sure?
- Yes.

I wish you to see how rational I have become.

Very well, then, if you wish it.

There!

That is an end to Mr Elton.

I shall never marry.

Never marry?
Well, this is a new resolution, surely.

It is one that I shall never change, however.

Harriet, I hope this is not a form of...

of compliment to Mr Elton.

Mr Elton? Oh, no.

Good. I am glad.

He is far, far superior to Mr Elton.

Harriet, I will not pretend
to be in doubt as to your meaning.

Your resolution never to marry

is because the person in question
is too high above you in station, is that not so?

Miss Woodhouse...

I have not the presumption
to suppose he would ever even notice me.

Indeed, I am not so mad,

but it is a sufficient pleasure for me
to admire him from a distance

and to think of his infinite superiority
to all the rest of the world

with gratitude, wonder

and respect.

Dearest Harriet, I am not at all surprised.

The service he rendered you
was enough to warm your heart.

Miss Woodhouse, it is something
I shall never forget all my life.

When I saw him approach me,
and my wretchedness before,

in one moment, what a change
from perfect misery to perfect happiness.

It is quite right that you should feel for him
as you do, Harriet,

but I do advise you
not to give way to your feelings too much,

because I cannot by any means
assure you of their being returned.

I give you this caution now, Harriet, because
I do not wish to speak on the subject ever again.

- No, Miss Woodhouse.
- I am determined against all interference.

Henceforward,
I know nothing whatever of the matter.

- Let no name ever pass our lips.
- No, Miss Woodhouse.

We were very wrong before.

We will be doubly prudent now.

Yes, Miss Woodhouse.

(CHUCKLING) Oh, come in, come in!
It's only a shower.

Ooh! It will soon pass.
Please come up, everybody!

Jane dear, we are to have an unexpected party.

Did you see that, Mr Knightley?
All our friends caught in the rain while shopping.

- Come in, everyone! Miss Woodhouse...
- Oh, thank you, Miss Bates.

- Emma.
- Mr Knightley!

He just dropped in with some eggs.

- Ah, Miss Smith! Come in, do sit down.
- Thank you, Miss Bates. Very kind.

Ah, Mr Knightley.

Mr Weston, and how is your good wife?
Well, I hope?

Tolerably, thank you, but her walking days
are over - at least until after our happy arrival.

Oh, yes, yes, of course.
Please give her my good wishes.

- Mr Weston, I do hope you are not too wet.
- Oh, 'tis nothing, my dear.

It's a pleasure to walk with you, my dear,
rain or shine. Eh, son?

- Of course. Miss Woodhouse knows that well.
- I am sure I know nothing of the sort.

- Well, Frank, does it still rain?
- A little, I think.

Ah! I see poor Perry ride by
with his coat collar turned up.

So he's not set up his carriage yet?

Perry set up a carriage?
Whatever gave you that notion, boy?

- You said so in a letter.
- It is the first I've heard of it.

Oh, well, then, I must have dreamed it, no doubt.

- Did you know about this, Emma?
- Oh, no, Mr Weston,

but then I am always last
to receive the latest gossip.

- How could he have got hold of such a story?
- I told you, it clearly rests in my imagination.

Miss Bates, is there any truth in it?

Well, Mrs Perry did mention the possibility to my
mother some time ago, did she not, Jane dear?

Aunt, I'm afraid I don't remember.

Oh, yes, dear, Mama told us just when we got in
from our walk that morning. Did you not, Mother?

But the information was strictly confidential,
so of course I said nothing.

There, I'm told I do talk a little upon occasion,
is that not so, Miss Woodhouse?

But I'm sure when a thing is in strict confidence,
I... Why, what's the matter, Jane dear?

Bless my soul, to think that Frank in Yorkshire
should know more about Highbury than we do.

- It is surprising.
- Ah, it has stopped.

- We mustn't trespass on Miss Bates' time.
- Oh, indeed not.

Come along, Miss Smith,
let us lead the party back to Hartfield.

- Please, do not hurry away.
- Goodbye, Miss Bates.

- Thank you for providing shelter!
- Goodbye, Miss Fairfax.

There's a boy.

(W0MAN) No, no,
I know my way perfectly, thank you.

Mrs Elton.

Well, so it must all be off, I suppose.

Is that not the most provoking thing
you ever heard?

Is it, madam? I'm afraid I have no idea
what you're talking about.

- The excursion.
- What excursion?

The outing I planned to Box Hill.

We were to have gone in several carriages
and spent the day exploring,

as my sister and brother-in-law
do around Bristol.

I tell you, at this rate the season will have
worn quite away before we've done anything.

Well, by this time last year at Maple Grove,
we'd been on... oh, I don't know how many trips.

Yes, I... I was not aware of any outing to Box Hill.

Were you not?
The invitations have not yet gone out, I admit,

but I thought you would have heard of it
from Jane or somebody

and I assure you, Knightley,
that you were on my list, oh, yes!

Madam, thank you, I am most honoured.

We were to have met at the vicarage
for a cold collation.

Oh, it was all arranged,
and a York ham ordered, and so on.

And now the bishop has demanded
the presence of my caro sposo

on some tiresome business at the palace,
I know not what.

And I can't very well entertain
so many guests alone.

Well, can I?

No? I would have thought that
well within your compass, Mrs Elton.

But it would look so strange, a newly married wife
without the protection of her husband.

And I'd arranged that they should all come early
so they could explore the vicarage garden, too.

- It really is extremely vexatious.
- Mm.

Ah, well,

you had better come here instead
and explore Donwell before your excursion.

Knightley, what a truly splendid suggestion.

And if our excursion
could be limited to a select few,

that would solve my problem entirely.

Knightley, how clever you are.

Yes... You'd better pick my strawberries,
they're ripening fast.

That'll do admirably.
You and I shall arrange this together.

- One moment, Mrs Elton.
- Or you may leave it all to me.

I am no callow young lady in these matters.
A married woman has full authority, you know.

Leave it all to me, I will issue the invitations.

No, Mrs Elton. There is but one married woman
I would allow to issue invitations to Donwell.

- Oh? And who's that, pray?
- Mrs Knightley.

Mrs Knightley?

Since she does not yet exist,
I will manage the matter for myself, if you please.

Oh, you are an odd fellow, Knightley.

Humorous, that's what you are.
Well, I insist upon Jane and her aunt at least.

- No need to.
- The rest I leave to you.

And I've no objection to meeting the Woodhouses.
Do not scruple to invite them on my account.

I may say, I am very sensible
of your particular kindness in this whole matter.

You've gone out of your way
to give me the greatest pleasure.

I know that and shall not quickly forget it.

- Thank you, madam, but, er...
- I've just had the most engaging idea!

Would it not be excellent if Jane,
Miss Bates and I come riding upon donkeys?

Ah, yes. Now, would not that be delightful?
I will speak to my caro sposo about it.

She really is the most preposterous of women!

I know of no one who can rouse me to anger
so quickly or with such certainty.

I find her self-satisfaction
and her total lack of true comprehension

a constant source of private entertainment.

Yes, I have to admit,
I nourish a strange kind of delight in her.

Then that is something you and I do not share.

As, indeed, her attachment to Jane Fairfax. Hm?

Emma,

have you noticed another kind of attachment
between Miss Fairfax and Frank Churchill?

Frank Churchill? Oh, no, never.

I thought I had observed something,
on his side at least.

- Jane Fairfax and Frank Churchill?
- Mm.

Mr Knightley, you amuse me excessively.

Oh, no, I think I can vouch for that,
as far as the gentleman is concerned, anyway.

I am in no position to answer for her.

Oh, no, you are quite mistaken.

I almost hope I am, for her sake.

- (CHATTER)
- May I have your attention?

Your attention one moment?

Ladies!

- Ladies, please!
- Shh.

Please... Thank you.

- If you'd all gather...
- It is your house, she has no right!

- I cannot look, I cannot endure it!
- Pick as many as you wish!

- YOUR strawberries.
- Excuse me, Emma.

...you'll find a small cold collation
upon the dining table. Thank you.

Mrs Cox, have you a basket?

That's right, down the path to the kitchen garden,
the boy will show you.

Mr Churchill, I w...

Where is Mr Churchill? Has he not arrived yet?
I asked him on no account to be late.

Er... no, not you, Jane dear,
I have something to tell you.

Besides, picking strawberries
is such a tedious, back-breaking task.

Miss Smith?

- Why have you not joined the others?
- There were no more baskets, Mrs Elton.

Well, pick into Miss Cox's, then.
You can't all have baskets.

- No.
- It's all right, Mrs Elton.

Harriet,
come and let me show you the arbour walk.

It is more pleasant and shady
than the kitchen garden.

Thank you, Mr Knightley.

Knightley's a strange fellow, is he not?
One cannot always make him out.

(CHATTER AND LAUGHTER)

Jane, my love, I have this very morning
received an answer to my letter.

- What letter is this, Mrs Elton?
- What letter indeed!

My dear, the position is yours.

Is that not delightful?
So your troubles are at an end at last.

Mrs Elton, I had no notion you had done this.

No, don't thank me, please,
it's no more than you deserve.

My dear, a most excellent family,
known personally to my sister,

so you will no doubt
actually be visiting Maple Grove.

Oh, I'm so delighted on your behalf.
Nothing could give me greater pleasure.

Mrs Elton, I did not ask you to submit my name.
I am sorry, but I really cannot accept it.

Nonsense, you have good qualifications. It's they
who should be glad to secure your services.

I put in the strongest of recommendations,

and no doubt coming as it were by way
of Maple Grove tipped the scales in your favour.

Well, that's settled. I suppose
I'd better go and see what they are all about.

If I did not continuously keep my eye on them,
they would do nothing of themse...

Susan, that's a strawberry root in your hand!

Miss Woodhouse, would you be so good enough
as to tell Mrs Elton I am gone home?

Certainly, if you wish. Shall I give a reason?

Say... I have a very severe headache.

Then are you wise to walk out
in the strong sunshine?

- Oh, yes, the movement will do me good.
- But alone?

Miss Woodhouse, we all know at times
what it is to be wearied in spirits.

Mine, I confess, are exhausted.

The greatest kindness you can show me

is to let me have my own way
and only say I am gone when it is necessary.

Will you all assemble in the dining-room, please,
in five minutes?

As soon as your baskets are full.
To the dining-room, if you please.

(SIGHS)

Mr Churchill. Mrs Elton will be greatly relieved
by your arrival, I am sure.

Oh, why? She knew I might well be detained
with Mrs Churchill. I informed her so quite clearly.

Unfortunately, Miss Fairfax
has had to return home. She is unwell.

I know, I passed her on the road.

(SIGHS) Oh, this heat, it's intolerable!

You would feel cooler
if you would sit down and remain still.

And this excursion to Box Hill! Madness!

We are not all going to Box Hill.
We shall be only a small party.

- Madness in such weather.
- Let me ring the bell for something cool to drink.

No, no, Miss Woodhouse,
you shall not wait on me.

I shall be better in a moment.
I'm in a poor humour this morning.

Yes, I had observed as much.

As soon as the opportunity arises,
I shall go abroad. I'm tired of doing nothing.

Yes, Miss Woodhouse,
you may look at me as you wish,

but I am sick of England
and would leave it tomorrow if I could.

Perhaps you are merely
tired of prosperity and indulgence.

Can you not invent a few hardships for yourself
and be content?

I, tired of prosperity and indulgence?
Oh, you are mistaken.

No, I am thwarted in everything material.

No, Miss Woodhouse, I do not at all
consider myself a fortunate person.

Will you all assemble in the dining-room, please?
To the dining-room, if you please!

Leave your baskets here until afterwards.
They'll be quite safe. Put them in the shade.

- I suppose we must obey the summons (!)
- Through here! Through the door, there...

I suppose so. I must confess,

I had had the private intention
of putting in the briefest of appearance

and leaving before the excursion,
but you have persuaded me otherwise.

Miss Woodhouse, you have cured my ill humour.

I, Mr Churchill? I have not said a word.

No. You do not have to.

(SIGHS)

Thank you, Mr Churchill, but I am perfectly
capable of managing on my own, you know.

Ah, but you see, I am not.

(SNORING)

(FLY BUZZES)

(HE RESUMES SNORING)

Ooh, Knightley, some horrid creature
crawling upon my neck.

- I'm sorry?
- Look. Surely there's something.

- Just here.
- Oh, yes.

In the absence of my caro sposo,
you may remove it if you wish.

Our companions are very dull and stupid
this afternoon.

- What shall we do to rouse them, eh?
- Shh, Mr Churchill.

Ladies and gentlemen,
I am ordered by Miss Woodhouse

to say that she desires to know immediately
what you are all thinking of.

- (OTHERS LAUGH)
- Really, Mr Churchill!

Well, come now, is nobody
going to rouse themselves a little?

Is Miss Woodhouse so sure
she would really like to know?

Well said, Knightley, hoorah! Well said indeed.

No, to be honest, I should not,
not by any means, thank you.

Really, such childishness.

I declare, I'd outgrown such antics
by the time I'd left the nursery.

I see I must attack them with more address.

Miss Woodhouse waives the right
of knowing what you are all thinking

and only requires something very entertaining
from each of you in a general way.

Her demand is either for one thing, very clever,
prose or verse, original or repeated,

or two things, only moderately clever,

or three things very dull indeed.

- She promises to laugh heartily at all of them.
- I will do my best, certainly.

Come now, ladies and gentlemen, who will begin?

Oh, dear.

- Miss Smith.
- No, Mr Weston, I couldn't possibly.

Well, come, somebody, please?

Three things very dull indeed, did you say?

Well... that will just do for me, will it not?

I'd be sure to say three very dull things
as soon as I open my mouth.

- Shall I not, Miss Woodhouse?
- Ah, yes.

But on this occasion, I fear you will be limited
to only three. That is the difficulty.

(MR WESTON LAUGHS)

Yes, to be sure.

I do see what she means.

I must try to hold my tongue in future.

(MR WESTON) I like your plan.
I'll do my best. How will a conundrum do, eh?

- Oh, it would rate low, sir, I'm afraid, very low.
- No, no, it shall not.

- Not from Mr Weston. Come, sir, let us hear it.
- Very well.

What two letters of the alphabet
express perfection?

It's not very clever,
but it's the best I can do for the moment.

Two letters that express perfection?
I am sure I do not know.

I'm quite sure you will never guess, so I'll tell you.

It's M and A. Emma!

- D'you see? D'you get it?
- (LAUGHTER)

Well, really.

Now we know
the kind of clever thing that is wanted.

Perfection should not have come quite so soon.

Mrs Elton, you are extremely quiet.
I am sure you have some witty thing to contribute.

Pray excuse me, Mr Churchill,
I'm not at all fond of this kind of thing, I'm afraid.

Forgive me, but I'm not one who has
witty things to say at everybody's service.

I really must be allowed to judge
when to hold my tongue. Pass me, please.

- Oh, very well.
- Besides, I've become a little tired of...

exploring so long upon one spot.
I think we should start our return.

Mr Knightley, if you'd be so kind?

- Allow me, Miss Woodhouse.
- Thank you.

- Miss Bates, let me give you a hand.
- Oh, how kind.

- There we are.
- Ooh, stiff.

Now, then, if you take this, I'll bring the rug.

Well, now, I do hope you've enjoyed your day,
Miss Bates?

Oh, yes, most enjoyable.

Mr Knightley.

You and I have scarcely spoke
the whole afternoon.

- Emma, how could you?
- What do you mean?

- Treat poor Miss Bates in so cruel a manner.
- Oh, Mr Knightley, I was only jesting.

Besides, I do not suppose
she fully appreciated my meaning.

I can assure you she did
and she was very much hurt by it.

Mr Knightley, she is a dear old creature
in many ways,

but really, you must admit that in her,

what is good and what is ridiculous
are very finely blended.

Oh, I admit it. Were her circumstances
the same as your own, I should say nothing of it.

But think how far this is from being so.

She is poor. She has sunk from those comforts
she was born to and will doubtless sink further.

She should excite your compassion,
not your ridicule.

You, whom she has known since a child,

to humble her before the whole company
in such a cruel manner.

- But, Mr Knightley...
- Emma, Emma.

That you of all people should allow flattery
to cloud your judgement so,

it distresses me beyond belief.

I've collected so many flowers and grasses.
Look, Miss Woodhouse.

Oh, Miss Woodhouse.

Synchro: Peterlin