Emily in Paris (2020–…): Season 1, Episode 5 - Faux Amis - full transcript

Emily discovers that her growing social media following opens doors in Paris, and a friendly night out on the town leads to a tete-a-tete with Gabriel.

Okay, so the chef has a girlfriend,
and guess who it is.

All I do is play guessing games
with the kids.

- Please, for my sanity, use your words.
- Camille.

The beautiful blonde from the gallery?

Beautiful and genuinely nice,
which shouldn't be allowed.

It's, like, just choose one.

I wish
Gabriel had told me he had a girlfriend

before I thanked him with my mouth.

- I thought you just kissed him.
- I did.

Your English
is as confusing as your French.

- Yeah, I feel stupid. In both languages.
- Look, French men are flirts.

Just act normal when you see him.

- But I'm trying not to see him.
- Oh.

Which is kind of impossible
when we live in the same building.

I really like him,
and I just thought that he…

- Ugh. I don't know what I thought.
- Oh. Bonjour.

Un café s'il vous plaît.

Um, j'aime le café,

les fruits

et un croissant avec le préservatif.

Okay, there's a vending machine
for that in the men's room.

What did I just say?

"Préservatif" doesn't mean preserves.

You just ordered a croissant
with a side of condoms.

- Oh, my God! No, I don't want that!
- She's gonna bareback her breakfast!

- See, I can't get anything right.
- It's a common mistake.

They're called faux amis.

So, "un crayon" isn't "crayon."
It's "pencil."

- Mm-hmm.
- "Un médecin" isn't "medicine."

It's "doctor."

- Faux amis, is that, like, fake friends?
- Yep.

Like you and Camille.

You're gonna be friends with her

but just so you can stay close
to her hot, hot boyfriend.

I'm not doing that.
And I'm trying to avoid her, too.

Oh, good. Look, direct hit coming our way.

- Incoming!
- Hey.

- Hey.
- Oh, hi.

- Mwah!
- What? Camille!

- I'm so happy that we have the same café.
- You remember Mindy?

- Yes, of course.
- Great. Oh, yay.

I'm just grabbing some croissants
for Gabriel.

I can never get him
out of bed in the morning.

Aw, sleepyhead.

- Best kind.
- Mm-hmm. So chic.

But may I?

- Just, yeah.
- Oh.

Like, you know, French way.

On the side.

Oh, let me take a photo of you
for your emilyinparis account.

Wanna get in?

- Get in!
- Okay.

Yeah, sure.


- Say, "Amies."
- Amies.

So cute.


I will follow you so you can tag me.


- Oh, my God, you have so many followers.
- Oh, Emily knows how to make friends.

You okay? The scarf too tight?

Bonjour! Check this out.

Durée Cosmetics just DM'd me
on Instagram.

They invited me
to their influencer lunch today.

- You? An influencer?
- I know.

They must have mistaken me
for someone else.

But I love Durée.

They were the first lip gloss
I ever bought.

Well, not actually bought.
My friend Cindy stole it from Target.

- She's a teacher now.
- Hmm. Sounds right.

Oh, it's at…
it's at the Hôtel d'Évreux? Is that good?

No, none of this is good.

We don't speak of Durée in this office.
They used to be a client.

What happened?

We don't speak of it, Emily.



Sylvie, just curious...

It is customary to knock,
wait for a reply, then enter.



I just noticed you don't have
a cosmetics company on your roster.

What an illuminating insight.

Did you ever have one?

Bobbi Brown? Laura Mercier?


A representative
from Hästens Luxury Beds

is coming in tomorrow, and I expect you
to have great campaign ideas.

Of course. But can I just go back
to the cosmetics question?

- No.
- Okay.

Bring the Eiffel Tower to bed.


For Hästens. That could be the slogan.

They're Swedish,
so using a Paris landmark may not...

No, no, no, no, no. Not the Eiffel Tower.

- The Eiffel Tower.
- He means the sex position.

The woman is on all fours,

and the two men,
one in front, one in back,

and they, uh…

- How you say "clap"?
- High-five.

Wait, why do they high-five?

To make shape.

- Eiffel Tower.
- Please put your hands down.

Uh, but then it's only London Bridge.
Not as fun.

Yes, that's true.

Okay, well,
I would love to stay

and educate you on workplace harassment,

but I've got a lunch.

- You're going?
- The event that dare not speak its name?

Yes. I just need a one-on-one
with Olivia Thompson.

Their CMO?

- You're insane.
- Well, they think I'm an influencer.

Maybe I can influence them
to stay at Savoir.

- Bonjour. I'm Em...
- Oh!

- Aw! Hi, mon amour!
- Hi.

- Ça va?
- Très bien.

Wow, what a cute dog. I love goldens.

Well, you should follow him.
It's CashmereGoodBoy on Instagram,

and he just hit 100,000 followers.

Thank you, my love.
Do you have one for Cashmere?

- But of course.
- You know he'll get jealous.


Bonjour. I'm emilyinparis,
and I was invited on Instagram.

Everyone was.


can I get a big one like Cashmere?

Oh, let me check.

Not enough followers.

So now, please integrate the products
in your social media content.

We expect a minimum of five posts.

With your tiny reach, make it ten.

Oh, I'm on it.
I'll give you quantity and quality.

Um, can you point me
in the direction of Olivia Thompson?

She's about to speak.



Thank you all for being here.

We are thrilled to be sharing

this season's incredible product range

with such global tastemakers.

Enjoy lunch

and please remember to tag Durée
in your posts

so that we can track
your social media impressions.

Have fun.

Miss Thompson,
can I please have a moment?

May I help you, Miss emilyinparis?

Bonjour again.

- I… I'm really here to speak to Olivia.
- No, no, no.

If you want her attention,
I suggest you post.

Très bien.

With macadamia butter and jojoba oil,
Durée is smudge-proof.

Even when you're berry hungry.

Durée is smudge-proof.

Even when you're berry hungry.


I like her. She's clever.

- Uh, she's eating the decor.
- Where do we know her from?

- Mm.
- Ah.

I know exactly who she is.

I was 13
when I first tried Durée's lip gloss.

Funny story... Oh!

- Pardon!
- Can you give me some space?

Swipe up and enter Durée

for 20% off my antifungal yoga pants.


Wow. And ow.


Um, I just tagged you. I'm emilyinparis.

Oh, don't piggyback on my brand.

Get it?
Goodbye, and thank you.

Olivia will see you now.



Her? ¿Perdona?

She only has 20,000 followers.

I have two million.

Two million.

Do you understand,
or shall I spell it out for you?


You created a meme
using the Vaga-Jeune post.

You even got Brigitte Macron
to retweet you.

The Daily Mail called it a re-twat.

Very proud moment for me.

It's really nice
to finally meet you, Olivia.


Some creative content today.

And your product knowledge is first-rate.

You're quite the brand ambassador.

Well, it's easy when you love the brand,
and this was a really great event.

- I'm glad you're enjoying it.
- We saw you eat the wall.

So, what agency do you use?

Oh, we don't anymore.
Agencies are overpriced and antiquated.

we prefer to use influencers like you.

The future of marketing.

I actually have a master's in marketing.

And I think that I could do
much more for you than this.

Really? Such as?

Olivia, they are waiting for you
at the dermabrasion station.

Uh, but, uh, I would love
to tell you more about it.

Could I… Could we meet later or…?

Tomorrow. Lunch. Lucien will set it up.

Oh. Bonsoir.

Hi. You're not working?

Um, I'm working from home.

You didn't move to Paris
to sit alone in your room.

- Oh, I… I...
- We're not taking no for an answer.

- Right, Gabriel?
- We rarely do.

We are going some place really nice.

You will love it.

Wow. This is incredible.

Starry Night.
One of my favorites.

Mine too.

Did you know Van Gogh painted it
while having a nervous breakdown?

Uh, no, I, uh… I did not.

Well, he was in an asylum

in Saint-Rémy-de-Provence,

and this was his view.

I guess that explains his crazy genius.

Let's lie down.

Oh, oh… okay, sure. If…

Oh, wow.

I love sleeping under the stars.

Remember the last time we slept outside?


We didn't sleep.

So, you guys are campers, huh?

Never mind.

Ah, this is incredible.

I feel like I'm…

Actually in the painting.

Danielle! Étienne!

Excuse me.

I really like her.

She likes you too.

I wouldn't have kissed you
if I knew you had a girlfriend.

It's okay. You didn't know.

Well, why didn't you tell me?

I didn't know you were gonna kiss me.

You… did kiss me back.

It is a normal reaction, no?

I guess. I…

Well. I just thought that you felt…

Ugh. It doesn't matter now, so…

Clearly, it was just me,

and I made it all up in my head, so…

Forget it.

Forget what?

The… The kiss in your kitchen.

I don't remember.

It must not have been very good.

Well, it wasn't.

- Unmemorable, in fact.
- Then it's forgotten.

We will just go back to being neighbors
who have never kissed.

That's all we ever were.

In London, Rome, and New York,

huge crowds watched
Tilda Swinton sleep in a box.


Because she can make anything interesting.


But also because watching
the act of sleep is intoxicating.

We watch our babies sleep.
We watch our lovers sleep.

And now…

As Parisians window-shop
on the Champs-Élysées,

they'll see two gorgeous models sleep

and spend the whole day

on a Hästens bed.

An unflinching

but flattering life portrait of luxury.

Hmm. I like, but not love.

I feel like I've seen it before.

Do you have any other ideas?

- Bring the Eiffel Tower...
- No.

May I?

If you must.

Our dreams transport us to magical places

that we try to capture
in film, music, and art.

But we only dream when we sleep deeply.

The superior quality of Hästens beds
allows us to dream our best dreams,

but why must that only be in our bedrooms?

Why can't it be under the stars?

We should be able to fall asleep anywhere.

Let's harness the power of social media
and ask people to come sleep with us.

Stage the bed in the most
irresistibly Instagrammable spots

in this beautiful city:
the Jardin du Luxembourg, the Louvre.

And post photos of real people,
not just models,

sleeping and dreaming.

All thanks to Hästens.

Perhaps even
under the Eiffel Tower.

- High-five?
- No.

I am so glad you were at our event, Emily.

You are the best type of influencer.

One that doesn't realize
the influence they have over others.

Well, you know I love Durée.

I do.


- What do you think?
- Oh.

Uh, no. No, no, no. Um…

I'm sorry, Olivia,
but I can't be your brand ambassador.

- You're under contract with someone else?
- Well, yeah, kind of, um…

You see, I had a bit of a unfair advantage
at your lunch.

I'm a marketing executive at Savoir,

and I think you should come back.


This was a very clever way
to get a meeting.

Well, we'd be very clever for Durée.

I fired your agency.

- They're a very expensive dinosaur.
- Expensive?

Yes… but you get what you pay for.

And it's different now.

I work there.

Does Sylvie Grateau?

She does.

Then it's not that different.

Those influencers at your lunch
didn't care about your brand.

I respect what they do,

but they're driven by self-promotion
and swag bags.

We could promote Durée more creatively

and intelligently than they ever could.

You're wrong, Emily.

You could be more successful
as an influencer.

Again, I'm…
I'm not an influencer.

Well, you're clearly
under the influence of this city.

You're high on Paris,
and your followers are falling for that.

We're keeping our marketing in-house.

But this has been, uh,


Look after yourself, Emily.

I know Sylvie won't.

- Emily!
- Yes?

Is this the American way
to overpromise and underdeliver?

Excuse me?

Klara from Hästens
wants to do your outdoor bed idea,

and now she expects
their bed to be in le Louvre.

So maybe you can find a nice spot
for the mattress under the Mona Lisa.

Good luck.

We can figure that out.

This is great news, though.

Oh, is it?

'Cause you already look quite busy.

- They invited me as an influencer.
- And you thought going was a good idea?

I was hoping to win them back.

And what makes you think
we want them back?

If you're their new arbiter of taste,
we want nothing to do with them.

Companies hire Savoir
to raise their standards,

not lower them.

Sylvie, we're on the same side.

It's not you personally.
It's everything you stand for.

You're the enemy of luxury,

because luxury is defined
by sophistication and taste,

and not by emilyinparis.

Your social media's a problem for us.

I don't think you understand its value.

Oh, well, I think I do.
You worked for Durée for free, right?

How does that look to the brands
that actually pay us to represent them?

Okay, so what do you want me to do?

Delete your account. Hmm?

- That's censorship.
- I know.

She can't force you
to delete your social media.

- Get your dad's lawyers involved.
- My dad doesn't have a lawyer.

- He breeds Weimaraners.
- Hmm.

Yeah, you have to delete it. Gimme.

Oh, when you dropped your crepe.

- #OhCrepe.
- Ugh.

I'm not sure who I am in this city
without emilyinparis.

Ask Camille.
She's liked every one of your posts.

Oh, I know.

She's, like, the nicest, coolest…

…French person I know.

- I thought that was Gabriel.
- No, he's just the hottest.


And a problem I can't solve tonight.

But one that I can
is saying goodbye to my account.

So, one last story?

Let's send it off with a bang.



- Whoop, whoop!
- Thank God.

And after 90 minutes of being on hold,

they finally transfer me
to the permit department,

only to say, "Pas possible."

Pas possible! Pas Possible!

Pas possible!

Everything is pas possible.

It's the French motto.

Yeah, well, it turns out

the only person who is able
to put a bed in the Louvre is Beyoncé.

Yeah, duh.

Beyoncé's worth
far more than the Mona Lisa.

- Aw!
- I thought you'd like it.

It was voted
the prettiest street in Paris…

- Mmm.
- And is referred to as...

ruelle qui va au bout.

Which means,
"the road which leads to the end."


It's perfect. It's perfect.

One last one?

Let's do it.

One last one.

- Okay.
- Ah.

You're out late.

You're out late.

Just closed the restaurant.

Oh. Five, two, one, three.
Like an upside-down pyramid.

- After you.
- No, please, I insist.

I insist.

It wasn't just you.

Good night, Gabriel.

Yes, of course.

Of course.

Emily, bring me your phone!


Show me the last picture you posted.

Uh, I can't.
I shut it down like you asked.

- Well, reactivate it.
- I don't understand. You said...


Oh, that's Place Dalida, right?

Yes. What is this about?

that Nordic witch from Hästens, called,

and she wants to stage the bed there.

- That's...
- I'm not finished.

- Okay.
- She wants you to post there first.

Why me?

Yeah, I've been asking
that question since you arrived.

I assume it's to draw a crowd
and encourage others,

like those followers of yours,
to post from there too.

Wow. Sure, but…

What do you want me to do
about my Instagram account?

Well, I guess you're an influencer now.

But only for our clients.

You win.

We're on the same side.

Yeah, right.

Thank you.

- Merci.
- You're welcome.


Oh, salut! Come.

What is this?

It's a social media installation
for Hästens beds.

They're one of our biggest clients,
and I thought of the idea

after our night at Van Gogh.

- Mm.
- You inspired me.

- I did?
- Mm-hmm.

I wanted you to be the first to see it.

I'm calling it
"Dormir à la belle étoile."

Mm! "To sleep under the stars."

Emily, your French is getting better.

Well, that's because
I have French friends now.

Yes, well, I was relieved
to hear from you, you know.

You seemed a little tense
when you left the other night.

It's Gabriel, isn't it?

Uh, what… what do you mean?

Just that, I mean,

I know he can be unfriendly
before you get to know him.

But give him time.

He will warm up to you.

- If you say so.
- Mm.

I'm so glad
he has a nice neighbor like you.

I hope the three of us can be friends.

Me too.
So, do you wanna get in bed with me?

Mm, I thought you'd never ask.


- Cheese.
- Cheese.

It's so comfy.