Emergency! (1972–1979): Season 1, Episode 6 - Nurse's Wild - full transcript

A store owner shoots an armed robber and is filled with remorse. Sparks fly between Johnny and a nurse. Dr. Early treats an alcoholic. A dog delays the rescue of an unconscious woman. Dr. Morton assumes an unconscious hippie is on drugs. The firemen rescue a man trapped at a chemical plant.

(Roy) 80, as you can see,

that gives us the same
capability in the field

that you and the doctors
have in the hospital.

With this radio, I can hear

the doctors virtually
in the field with us

at all times.

And that, ladies, concludes
the demonstration.

It must be a real challenge
being a paramedic.

Oh, it is.

When you think of all the
people depending on you,

you really think how
important that responsibility is.



Mostly, I try not to
let it go to my head.

I hope you're better at medicine

[radio beeping] than
you are at modesty.

(dispatcher) Squad
51, first-aid rescue,

possible holdup victim,
9527 Clemmons Street.

9527 Clemmons Street.

Cross Street Elm,
time out 10:57.

(Roy) Squad 51,10-4.

[siren wailing]

Why were you being so nasty?

I was nasty, wasn't I?

You have two. The
proprietor, possible heart attack

and a gunshot victim,
hold-up suspect.

Ambulance is rolling.



All right, stand
aside. Let him in.

It's a gunshot there.
That's the owner.

Oxygen.

[gasping]

I didn't want to shoot him.

Keep this on.

But I had no choice.

Don't worry about
me, see to the boy.

My partner's taking care of him.

[breathing deeply]

Bad?

Not good.

What have you got?

Heart. What about yours?

Stomach wound.

Better get another I.V. set up.

Right.

(Gage) Excuse me.

[continues breathing deeply]

Excuse me.

Rampart Base, it's Rescue 51.

If you can't act like
a human being here,

then get yourself
transferred, else I'll do it.

(Roy) Rampart Base, Rescue 51,

I'm supposed to be the
hard nose around here.

Rampart Base. Do you read me?

51, this is Rampart
Base, go ahead.

Rampart, we have a male victim,

approximately 50.

He has pains in the chest,
numbness in the extremities.

He's having trouble
breathing, he is diaphoretic.

His pulse is too rapid to count.

Rescue 51, we read
you. Start an W. with 05W.

Give 10 milligrams
morphine sulfate.

Do you have your patient
hooked up for EKG?

Affirmative. We will
transmit it to you now.

[pulsing]

51, we're receiving
EKG and we read V-tach.

Apply countershock
at “JO-watt seconds,

The pressure. There's
a terrible pressure.

51, do you read me?

Apply countershock,
400-watt seconds.

Rampart, we read you,

but negative on
the countershock.

Patient is conscious
and talking,

Vital signs, blood
pressure 90 over 50.

Pulse thready, respirations 30.

[ambulance siren wailing]

Give him 100
milligrams lidocaine,

Has the ambulance
arrived at scene?

If so, transport as
soon as possible.

10-4, we have one other victim.

We have a gunshot victim.
Male, approximately 23.

Lower abdomen,
.22 caliber bullet,

Slight blood loss visible,

but palpation indicates
internal bleeding.

Vital signs: Pulse
60, respiration 12,

blood pressure 80
over 40. Eyes sluggish.

10-4. Start an I.V.
Lactated Ringers.

Transport as soon as possible.

10-4.

We've got two
emergencies coming in.

One cardiac and one gunshot.

Get inhalation equipment ready.

Also defibrillator. All right.

Put the cardiac in 3.

The gunshot can go in 5.

[woman chattering on PA system]

[siren wailing]

Is he still breathing?

Yes, he's still breathing.

He doesn't look a day over 20.

Stop blaming yourself, mister.

You just don't understand

how it feels to shoot someone.

All right. All right. All right.

(woman on PA
system) Dr. Allen, 63.

Room 5.

I need a portable
X-ray in 5. Stat.

In here.

(Brackett) Hook
him up for an EKG.

His pulse has
dropped considerably.

Blood pressure 120 over 70.

Thanks.

Do you think you can
put that into position

without maiming the patient?

(Ellen) Yes, Doctor.

If you don't mind...

He's a robbery suspect, Doc.

And you think he's
in condition to run?

No. But I didn't
make the rule, either.

Name please, sir.

Grey, Arthur Grey.

Address?

412, Hinton.

Is this inquisition necessary?

Feeling rotten?

Oh, the pressure, it's awful.

You just relax. We'll
relieve that pressure.

How's the boy? Did
he stop bleeding?

Well, let us worry
about him, huh?

Take care of him
first. I'm all right.

That why you're bouncing
all over this table?

So, I got some chest
pains. But he's dying.

Doc, take care of him.

He's being taken care
of. Now you just relax.

Keep your eye on that
score. I'll be right back.

[ECG beeping]

Hang a bottle of plasma.

Did you do a crit?

Shock, some internal bleeding.

As soon as he can be
moved, send him to surgery.

Take a look at this.

[beeping rapidly]

Chest leads.

The doctor's right. Why
should I worry about him?

He held me up.

This reading isn't any good.

You have to lie still if we've to
get a reading that means anything.

Four times I've been held
up in the last three months.

Please, Mr. Grey. Don't
move. Just for a few minutes.

The insurance company
canceled me out.

I couldn't stand by and
watch my life savings

go down the drain.

I've got a wife and
two children in school.

Do I have to tie you
down to keep you quiet?

So I bought a gun.
Just a little one.

I never wanted to use it.

[panting]

[beeping slowly]

All right, that's better.

Just hold steady for
a couple of minutes.

[groans]

Don't move or you'll
start the bleeding again.

My wife, Bitsey.

555-7301.

Tell her.

What's your name?

Clive.

Clive Jonas.

Tell my partner, will you?

(Roy) Well, we'd
better get going.

Yeah.

(woman on PA system)
Dr. Feldman, Treatment Room 4.

Dr. Feldman, Treatment Room 4.

The gunshot
patient is conscious.

He gave a phone number.
He wants his wife. Would you?

She's on her way. I got
his ID from his wallet.

That'll make things easier.

Matter of fact, I'll wait
for her at the entrance.

Come on, let's go.

Squad 51 available.

(dispatcher) Squad 51,

You know what bothers me?

What?

When I first started on the job,

I couldn't stand
the sight of blood.

I'd give a nickel for the number
of times my stomach went sour.

I still fight my stomach.

My wife says I've
become callous.

Go explain its self-protection.

(woman on PA system)
Dr. Hoffman, administrator's office.

Dr. Hoffman,
administrator's office.

Listen, she's not just
another pretty face.

Yeah, I know. She's deep.

Why is it you always pick
the disagreeable ones?

She's not hostile any more.

A little concentrated Gage charm

and she's a pussycat.

And the two of you will lap up

a bowl of cream together?

Not yet. But soon.

Yes, right away, please.

You've got a myocardial
infarction, Mr. Grey.

You owe the fact
that you're still alive

to those two paramedic firemen.

I know. I know. I'm
grateful, believe me.

Now we wanna keep you alive,

so you're gonna
have to cooperate.

Of course I'll cooperate.

You think I'm
stupid or something?

By cooperate, the doctor means

lie still and be quiet, okay?

We're going to transfer you
to the Intensive Care Unit.

You don't want me around?

We no longer consider
you an emergency.

He is in Room 5.

[woman chattering on PA system]

That's his wife?

Yes, it is.

Excuse me.

She's so young.

You can't be responsible
for the world, Mr. Grey.

Yeah.

If he wants to make
his living stealing,

that's his business.

Why didn't he come
in asking for a job,

instead of with a
gun in his hand?

I begged you not to.

What do you want me
to do, go on welfare?

That's better than being shot.

I'd rather be shot.

Maybe a job would
have come along.

How many pounds did you lose

waiting for that
miracle to happen, huh?

He's got to go to surgery now.

Why don't you go home?

I don't want to go home.
Can't I stay, please?

There's a coffee
shop down the hall.

We'll let you know when
you can see him again.

Is he gonna be all right?

Doctor?

Well, he won't be
doing any dancing

for a couple of
weeks, but after that...

(Clive) Jail.

Mind if I say something, Doctor?

Not at all.

Don't put down my
nurses in front of attendants

or patients, please.

She was clumsy.

No, the equipment was at fault.

Doctor, you know your medicine,

but you've got a lot
to learn about tact.

Well, maybe I did
lean a little too hard.

I'll apologize to
Nurse Bart, okay?

Okay.

I've got my rounds
to make, if it's all right?

Go ahead.

Obviously you heard and
disapprove, Dr. Brackett?

Slightly.

I don't like you
leaning on my doctors

any more than you like your
nurses being called down.

If you want to argue.

Argue what?

That you're right?
I already know that.

In that case I'll buy you lunch.

Uh-uh. If anybody buys
lunch around here, it'll be me.

Let me buy the lunch.

This situation calls
for an impartial referee.

If there's anything
I am, it's impartial.

I can think of a few
other things you are, Joe.

I'm not so sure I want
him to share our fight.

Why not? After all,
he's our dearest friend

and he's picking up the tab.

Dr. Early.

You two go ahead and
lay the ground rules.

I'll be right with you.

(Len) Please stop 'em, Doc.

(Ellen) I thought the
shot was taking effect,

when zingo, he came out of it.

Help me, Doc!

Doc, they're coming
through the cracks!

There's just you, me,
and the nurse in this room.

So lie down here.

Come on, you gotta help
me. Prepare another one.

They're coming at
me, Doc, help me.

It's your imagination.

Len, you trust me? Trust me.

[groaning] Sure,
sure, I trust you.

I wouldn't lie to you.

There's nothing there
but your imagination.

No! No!

No bugs like last
time, no snakes.

Just this terrible stuff
you pour into your system.

[panting] You're sure, Doc?

I'm sure.

Oh, never again.

[gasping]

Len, you're a mechanic.

[panting]

Think of your body
as an automobile.

The fuel pumps your heart,
the gas tank's your stomach,

[groaning]

The fuel lines your arteries...

Sure, Doc. An automobile.

You put that stuff into a
car, it fouls up the carburetor,

rusts the fuel lines, puts
a hole in the gas tank.

You know what it
does to your body.

It corrodes the linings
of your stomach,

burns out your heart...
Doc, look I promise.

[grunting]

I promise I'm never
drinking again. Never.

[groaning]

I know. Look, I'll
make a deal with you.

If you do drink
again, promise me

you'll drink from a
bottle with a label on it.

Sure, Doc. Sure,
Doc. It's a deal.

[stuttering] D-Deal.

[Len continues groaning]

The way he kept
askin' about the kid

without caring about himself.

I hope the old boy makes it.

Paramedic rule number one:

Don't get hung up on a patient.

How many nice guys
do you meet in a lifetime?

(Gage) I know.

(Chet) Here come the doctors.

How many patients
you boys save today?

Very funny.

Hey, Doc, I got this very
peculiar sound in my head,

like an echo.

What do you expect from
an empty space, bells?

Hey, let's eat,
already. I'm starved.

What is it? Hash.

Again?

If I don't get a rescue
at a restaurant soon,

I'm going to starve to death.

Who did it?

I did. You wanna
make somethin' out of it?

Make somethin' out of it!
I don't even want to eat it.

[alarm buzzing]

Saved by the bell.

(dispatcher) Squad 51,
unknown type rescue,

6412 Summerville,
6412 Summerville,

Cross Street Grant.
Time out: 13:04.

Second street from Indiana.

(Captain) Squad 51.10-4.KMG-365.

L.A. clear. KMG-941.

[siren wailing]

I was talking to her, when
suddenly she passed out.

I tried to help her but
the dog came at me,

so I beat it out of there.

[siren wailing]

[dog barking]

(dispatcher) Engine 32 will
be out of service for 45 minutes

It's locked.

You can see her
from the window here.

(Jack) I was talking to
her. I sell encyclopedias.

She had queried us by mail.

I rang the bell
and she answered.

I hadn't said two words to
her when she started to fall.

I reached to help her,
but the dog came at me.

I slammed the door
to protect myself.

We'll have to go in
through the window.

What're we gonna
do about that dog?

We'll take care of him.

Need turn-out coats
and an air bottle.

[growling]

Could you bust this window?

Yeah, sure.

[barking]

That dog sure
wants a piece of you.

All right.

[dog continues barking]

[growling]

[Spraying]

[dog growling]

[dog continues barking]

Very neatly done.

Nothing to it.

She doesn't seem to have
any difficulty breathing.

Check the medicine
cabinet, might be an OD.

Right.

Bring in the resuscitator.

Rampart Base, this is Rescue 51.

51, Rampart Base go ahead.

Rampart, we have an
unconscious female,

approximate age 25.

There's no friends
or relatives at scene.

We are checking vital signs
and setting up for an EKG.

[dialing]

Dr. Brackett to base station.

(woman on PA system)
Dr. Brackett, base station, Stat,

[dog barking]

Rampart, blood
pressure is 120 over 60,

pulse 100 and thready,

respiration is 12 and shallow,

eyes responsive.

EKG shows possible A-fib.

Rampart, we found diuretics.

Only two out of a bottle of 50.

Name and age on
prescription bottle

doesn't match victim.

51, start an W. with 05W.

Is ambulance at scene?

EKG shows A-fib.

It's on its way.

It's on its way, Rampart.

Transport as soon as possible.

10-4.

Mrs. Jonas, I thought
you went home.

I started to. I can't
help him there.

Where did they take him?

Jail ward.

You know, the
best way to help him

is not to give him a hard
time about what he's done.

There's nothing a patient
needs less than a lecture

when he comes
out of the anesthetic.

But don't you
think he did wrong?

I'm a nurse, not a judge.

Now, Bitsey... I know.

Another way to help
him is to go home

and take care of myself.

He won't be able to
see you for a while yet.

I'll phone you when he can.

In here.

Well, these are them.

What's your name?

Grace Come“.

What have you been
eating and drinking?

Not much. I've been on a diet.

Have you been taking these?

Yes, sir.

When you take diuretics,

it's essential you
have a controlled diet.

Have you been taking potassium?

I don't know.

Bring a bottle of D5
half-normal saline,

40 milligrams potassium.

You've done a foolish thing.

You took somebody
else's medicine.

It is not medicine. It's
just a reducing thing.

No diuretic is just
a reducing thing.

This prescription
calls for 50 pills.

There's only two left.

I only took three a day.

For 16 days straight?

I feel terrible.

Whose medicine was it?

My friend Bea.

Her doctor let her
take them. Three a day.

She weighed more than
I do, maybe 10 pounds,

and she lost weight,
a lot of weight.

So she refilled the prescription

and gave it to you?

Don't you know
you shouldn't take

anybody else's medication?

It's only a reducing thing.

She lost over 50 pounds
and never had a sick day.

If it worked for her,
why not for me?

Because her doctor
knows all about her,

what her system can tolerate,

what kind of medication
she can handle,

and I'm sure he
examined her periodically.

She gets called for
dates all the time now.

I'm tired of staying home alone

with the TV all the time.

So you used her diuretic,
and dehydrated yourself.

You could have died.

If you'd rather do that
than sit alone by the TV,

go ahead and be dumb.

Use other people's
prescriptions.

I don't wanna die.

I just want to have someone.

Women's vanity.

Men's blindness.

Any particular men in mind?

You tell me.

How is she?

Well, she seems stable now.

How's the hold-up
man coming along?

Well, he's gonna make it.

At least to jail, I guess.

[woman chattering on PA system]

You're kind of, uh, Shorthanded
on this shift, aren't you?

You're looking for
Ellen Bart, right?

(Roy) You said the
name of the week.

He's hooked again.

Not for long.

You've heard of people

marching to the sound
of their own drum.

Ellen's got a whole
fife and bugle corps.

[phone ringing]

Well, I kind of have
a feeling for bugles.

You know, I'll bet
she's over in Supplies.

(woman on PA system)
Stat, Dr. Smith in Emergency.

Treatment Room 3.

Roy, I was thinkin', we
need some I.V. solution.

Yeah, I know what
you were thinkin'

and it has nothing
to do with W. solution.

I'll be in the
squad, make it fast.

Feeling any better?

A little dizzy, maybe.

We're sendin' you
upstairs to a general ward.

You're not coming?

Of course, I'm coming.

I wanna make sure
you're comfortable.

(dispatcher) Battalion
7, Engine 95, Engine 41

are drilling at Main
and El Segundo.

Squad 59, cancel your response.

Squad 51 returning to quarters.

Squad 51,

[engine starting]

(Roy) How long are you gonna
keep that silly smile on your face?

Friday night at 8:00.
Her first night off.

That's like discovering
the cure for polio.

Almost.

She's a very wild chick, Roy.

Very funny ideas
and peculiar attitudes.

You'll be quite a combination.

Her peculiar attitudes
and your one-track mind.

Friday night.

Friday night?

Now isn't that the
night you take your kid

to Indian Guides.

Hey. Hey.

Hey, man, how do I get
some help around here?

What kind of help?

Well, my buddy, he's outside.

What's the matter?

How would I know?

I'm no doctor, but I
think he's dying on me.

Well, let's go. Let's go.

[woman chattering on PA system]

[groans]

It's an OD.

OD? No, no way, Doc.

Overdose. I know an
overdose when I see it.

What were you taking?

Nothing. We're
clean, I tell you.

We can't help unless
you level with me.

What were you taking?
What kind of drugs?

Look, Doc, you're way off.

Look, why don't you stop lying?

What was it? Acid?
Speed? A little heroin?

Forget it. You're
looking at Billy's hair

and all you see is a trip.

Oh, let's go.

(woman on PA system)
Dr. Jose Estrada.

Listen, Doc... Look,
the best way for you

to help your friend
is to tell me the truth.

My God! How can I convince you?

You're not telling me, damn it!

Start an I.V. D5W.

Get him out of my way.

Don't you worry,
we'll take care of him.

Wait here.

Patient in Treatment Room 5.

I'll take his BP.

Hmm. Get his clothes off.
Check between his toes,

under his fingernails,
for needle marks

and any other
areas he might use.

Get me a permission from him.

Could you give me
his name, please?

His name is Billy Martin.

Address, where does he live?

We were crashing in an old shack

out in Alameda Canyon.

You can't give me
a specific address?

No.

No needle marks, Doctor.

Get this to the lab.

Why are you preparing
the spinal tap tray?

We couldn't find needle marks,

the patient's friend
claims he took nothing.

Since there's doubt as to the
reason for the patient's condition,

I thought a spinal
tap would be ordered.

There is no doubt.

About what?

We have an obvious OD, Doctor.

The patient is
comatose, skin dry,

eyes not responsive,
and shortness of breath.

Did you draw blood?

It's at the lab.

Then we'll know for
sure, soon enough.

For sure, that blood
will show signs of drugs.

My guess is heroin.

[phone buzzing]

Treatment 5.

Thank you.

Lab report?

Negative.

No sign of drugs.
Sugar is negative.

Spinal tap.

It's clear.

No evidence of head trauma.

(Brackett) Looks
like an insect bite.

Get antivenom down
here. All we've got.

When did this
happen to your friend?

Uh, 30-40 minutes ago.

Where were you when it happened?

Where?

I mean, were you
asleep? Standin' up?

On the highway? In a building?

We were sitting
outside the cabin.

You know, just rapping.

Suddenly Billy
got this terrible pain

in his gut... Well...

Where? What place?

Uh, I already told
her. Alameda Canyon.

You think it might be a
Black Widow spider bite?

Maybe.

What's holding
up that antivenom?

I'll find out.

It may take a little
while, but he'll be all right.

We'll let him rest here
for a couple of hours.

I examined him thoroughly.

Why didn't I see
that insect bite?

Because you were too convinced

you were gonna
find something else.

Where diagnosis is concerned,
Mike, you gotta keep an open mind.

He's gonna be all right.

You can go home and
come back tomorrow.

Maybe he can go home then, too.

Thanks, Doc.

Listen, I-I'm sorry.

I really thought that...

Yeah, it's okay, Doc,

you can't help your prejudices.

Nobody can.

Yeah.

Sure.

See you, buddy.

You know, Dix,

nobody likes anyone
who's right all the time.

Well, I keep trying
to make mistakes.

And nobody likes
a wise guy, either.

Come on, let's go
get some coffee.

I'm for that.

Keep an eye on him.

Cap, you know you've got
like 5% more carbon monoxide

in your system than
the average American?

No, I didn't know that.

Are only captains that lucky?

It says here:

"A survey has shown
that for each two years

"a fireman is on active duty,

"he absorbs about one-half
of 1% carbon monoxide

into his system and
it never goes away."

[phone ringing]

How long you been
on the job, Gage?

Hmm? Oh, four years.

That means you got about
1% of carbon monoxide

in your system, right?

According to this.

Does that article mention
that it's been proved

carbon monoxide
destroys a man's sex drive?

Funny. Very funny.

Where's DeSoto? His
wife's on the phone.

Huh? Oh. I'll get him.

This is the horn button.

That is the siren button
down there, dummy.

[horn blowing]

Don't worry, anybody
can make a mistake.

We don't have any dummies,

we just have slow
learners and fast learners.

And medium learners.
That's what I am.

In between.

Do you know how many
gallons of water we carry?

500. Right.

These are the discharge gates.

We hook the hoses
here for the water.

We can pour that
500 gallons of water

on a fire in just a few minutes.

Don't kids ever
ask about the squad

or the paramedics?

When you were a kid,
were you interested

in W. bottles
and defibrillators?

Oh, your wife's on the phone.

You kids ever hear
about the paramedics?

Well, the paramedics
are firemen, too, you know.

Only they just...

Listen, mister, we
gotta be going now.

Yeah, sure, honey.
Sure, I remember.

[alarm buzzing]

(dispatcher) Station
51, truck 127...

Honey, we've got
a response. Sorry.

Man trapped in tower,
Zenith Chemical Plant,

Manson and 10th Street.

Manson and 10th
Street. Time out: 14:37.

(Captain) Station
51.10-4. KMG-365.

Are we clear? KMG-941.

[siren wailing]

[siren wailing]

[tanks clanging]

(man) Engines 137, Squad 39,

1313 Newridge.

1313 Newridge.

[man on PA system chattering]

My pipe fitter's caught
under that beam.

(Captain) What happened?

(foreman) We were moving a
beam on the overhead crane.

Cable broke, a whole
mess came through the roof.

You can see the result.

What do you think, Cap?

What is comin' out of that pipe?

But“ acetate.

It's got a 72 flashpoint,
but you won't need masks.

Vapor density's four-to-one.

We can get to him
from this ladder here.

What do you figure
we'll need up there?

(Roy) Well, it's kind of
hard to tell from here.

We can either lift the beam
or cut through the pipes.

We're gonna use the K-12

with all this stuff
on the floor?

Well, if it's butyl acetate,

it's slightly soluble in water.

Get a protector line
on that leak up there.

Set up the foam donkey,

we'll lay a blanket
on the floor.

(dispatcher) Battalion 9,
Engine 30 reports garage fire.

Engines 30 and
34 out, 25 minutes.

Squad 94 available at
scene. Engine 94 return,

Here, hitch this
in on to the saw.

I'll pull it up from
up top, okay?

Here are the belts.

How much weight will
the ceiling brackets hold?

Designed to hold
that rack of pipes.

That's several thousand pounds.

That was before the beam fell.

Engine 51, bring in the
24-foot extension ladder.

(man) 10-4,

I bet you have a
few aches and pains?

Oh, some to spare.

[Frank groaning]

[continues groaning]

Might be a broken femur.

Captain, we're gonna
need a traction splint.

51, bring in the
traction splint.

10-4.

[sighing]

Hook it to that line.

Get a fog pattern on that leak.

(Gage) Now grab those lines.

Engine 51, charge the line.

10-4.

Foam 127, start the generator.

[generator whirring]

[groaning]

We're gonna have
you out of there soon.

Can't stand much more of this.

Hang in there, buddy.

We're gonna need all
the help you can give us.

Shut down your foam generator.

Okay, you can start cutting now.

I'd better cut this side first.

[engine grinding]

[grunting]

[grunts]

[groaning]

All right,

grab a hold of that pipe
and pull yourself forward.

All right, pull on the ropes.

Ellen. Uh, I'll be right back.

Why the long face?

We were saying goodbye.

If that goodbye lasted any
longer I could've drowned.

I thought I had it made.

Friday at 8:00, wasn't it?

She's called it off.

She's going to be
on the high seas.

Just to get away from you?

She's applied for a job
as a nurse on a cruise ship.

She's gonna be
gone for six months.

Ah, at least you'll
know where she is.

Are you kidding?

What am I gonna do with
a girl on the high seas?

Squad 51 available.

Do you know that
there are 320 nurses

in this hospital?

120 of which are over 25.

That brings it down to 210.

12 of them are
over six feet tall.

That brings the
desirable ones down...

Why not get married instead
of feeding your neurosis?

Seven of them,
I know for a fact,

are over a 150 pounds.

You know, half the nurses
in this hospital are married.

Most of the other half wanna be.

The ones who
wanna be and aren't,

you gotta admit
they've a problem, right?

Now the ones that aren't
and don't wanna be...

Roy, that's a little weird.

Now, I ask you, how many
dates does this place leave me?

Not very many.

You ask me if
I've got a problem?

I've got a problem, all right.

Pretty soon, I'll have to
be taking out candy stripers.

Can't you hear the
guys at the station.

"Gage's taking
out a candy striper."