Eight Is Enough (1977–1981): Season 1, Episode 1 - Never Try Eating Nectarines Since Juice May Dispense - full transcript
Tom learns the importance of family relationships when David moves out
TOM & MAXWELL O! say can you see
By the dawn's early light
What so proudly we hailed
At the twilight's last gleaming
Whose broad stripes and bright
stars Through the perilous fight
O'er the ramparts we watched
Were so gallantly streaming?
And the rockets' red glare
The bombs bursting in air
Gave proof through the night
That our flag was still there
Mom, sometimes when Daddy and
Dr. Maxwell do that, I could just die.
Oh, every now and then,
you can put up with it.
It's family tradition.
Other families get reunions or
old-time recipes for their traditions.
- The Bradfords get the Tusch Bowl.
- Really.
And the home of the brave!
- All right. Come on, Maxwells.
- Bradfords, play ball.
- Maxwells right here.
- The youngest calls the coin toss.
Nicholas, over here.
Now, you call it
in the air. Right?
Heads.
Heads, it is.
- We receive.
- All right, two-hand touch.
Two completed passes
in a row is a first down.
Don't call us the Bradford Brats, we
do not make any proctologist jokes.
Play ball.
Okay, team, let's go.
Ready? ALL: Yeah, ready!
Okay, team, come on, come on.
Okay. Okay. I've got it.
Okay, come on. Hurry up.
Okay. MAXWELL: Okay.
- Let's huddle.
- Maxwells, line up.
- Here we go. TOM:
Come over here.
Come on. Come on.
Over there.
Break. ALL: Break.
Hut one, hut two, hut three.
Okay. Go. JOAN:
Come on, Tom. Come on.
Come on, Tom.
Goals are down there.
Oh, Tom. Hurry up and
throw the dumb thing.
Hey. Where were you throwing
that thing to? I was wide open.
You were not wide open.
Danny was coming in on you
and he would have intercepted...
if I had not known enough
to throw the ball away.
Yes, yes, yes,
throw the ball away.
The same thing that Sonny
Jurgensen knew how to do so well.
- Yeah, he knew when to retire too.
- Ha-ha-ha.
Too much time in the huddle.
You're telling me.
Mother, nobody wears
a bra anymore. Really.
Elizabeth, you are gonna wear
a bra, and that's all there is to it.
Daddy?
I hear a voice in the
wilderness. What do you want?
Do any of the young secretaries
down at the newspaper wear bras?
How would I know,
sweetheart? I'm a married man.
Daddy, you're not blind.
I ain't dumb, either.
I'll be on the porch.
Elizabeth.
- Where's Joan?
- She just went upstairs.
She's trying to
extinguish a burning bra.
- Another drink?
- No. I'm fine.
- Dad, I'm going down to the Pit.
- Oh. Good, enjoy.
Listen, tell me about Dave
Harris. How is he coming along?
Oh, good. Well,
as far as I know.
It wasn't what you'd call
a major coronary, Tom.
- It was more a warning kind of thing.
- I know, but knowing Dave...
- Going to Johnny's.
- Be back by 9:00.
Yeah, yeah.
Knowing Dave, knowing that
he's such a driving kind of a guy.
He was so uptight about everything.
I think he ought to take it easy.
Dad. I'm going to the show.
What show? TOMMY:
Brother Blood Sucker.
- That sounds R.
- It's G. No kidding.
Take a silver bullet and
call me in the morning.
- Okay.
- Dave is so nervous.
And from what you read about
the effect of tension on the heart...
- Nancy's coming with me.
- Oh. Thank you, thank you.
Anybody as nervous as
Dave, I would have to think...
that he should really rethink his
whole way of reacting to everything.
Don't you think
so, shouldn't he?
I haven't the faintest idea
of what we're talking about.
About Dave Harris and
his heart attack. What else?
Oh, Dave will be fine.
As long as he never has
occasion to set foot in this house.
Ha, ha. What are
you talking about?
She's wearing a bra,
not wearing a bra?
It's a compromise.
Not wearing a bra...
but neither is she
wearing that blouse.
She's going topless. Clever.
No, no. She's wearing her
Washington Redskin T-shirt.
Anyone who would make a pass
towards George Allen's nose...
is no friend of democracy.
Why shouldn't Dave
Harris come to my house?
Well, it's just that
it's a little hectic, Tom.
I don't see how you ever
remember their names.
Never try eating nectarines
since juice may dispense.
- I beg your pardon? TOM:
Never try eating nectarines...
since juice may dispense.
Never, Nicholas. Try, Tommy.
Eating, Elizabeth.
Nectarines, Nancy.
Since, Susie. Juice, Joanie.
May, Mary. Dispense,
David. It never fails.
Hardly ever.
Well, our oldest two are
married and on their own now.
Believe you me, that
takes some getting used to.
- I can hardly wait.
- Oh, I bet.
Oh, just listen.
Listen to what?
The silence. The
absolute silence.
It's terrific until
you get used to it.
Then it's not so
terrific sometimes.
- I'm sorry.
- Hmm?
- For what?
- Filing my nails.
- I know you don't like that sound.
- Oh.
Thanks for the consideration...
but the fact of the matter is...
it bothers me less and
less as the years go by.
I suspect I'm growing deaf.
Oh, don't be asinine.
- What?
- I said you're not growing deaf.
The country's not going
to the left. Anything but.
Hello?
Yes, this is Mrs. Bradford.
Thank you, officer.
We'll be right there.
- Who?
- Elizabeth.
- What?
- Possession of narcotics.
Damn.
It's just so super dumb.
Just unreal.
Unfortunately, it's
very real, Elizabeth.
So tell me about it. Slowly
and without any editorials.
Okay.
- We were coming down Central Avenue...
- Who is we?
- Me and Stanley.
- Go on.
Anyway, we were coming
down Central Avenue...
and Stanley went through the stop
sign at about a 100th of a mile an hour...
and this pig on a motorcycle
was hiding behind...
Now, just hold on.
If you wanna enlist
my sympathies at all...
you better start out by telling me
about this man on a motorcycle...
or this officer on a motorcycle or
this guy on a motorcycle, whatever.
But if you go on calling
this motorcycle man a pig...
your old dad is going to have a
hard time rooting for the home team.
You always call yourself old
Dad when you wanna be charming.
- Do I?
- Yes, you do.
It's really super dumb, Daddy.
Let's debate my
personality some other time.
You're in jail, I'm not.
Oh, Daddy. It's not jail.
It's just JDH.
Juvenile Detention Hall.
- Elizabeth.
- Tom.
Tom, go ask the desk sergeant if we
can get Elizabeth out of here by tonight.
- You're so much better at this than I am.
- Oh, yeah, all right. I'll be right back.
I'm sorry, but I don't
think I did anything wrong.
Well, if that's the case, Elizabeth,
then you have nothing to be sorry about.
Now, you ran a stop sign.
The policeman pulled you over.
Next.
Officer Reardon observed the suspect
vehicle failing to heed a stop sign...
at the intersection of
Central and Western.
He halted the suspect vehicle at the
intersection of Willoughby and Central.
As Officer Ryan
approached the vehicle...
he observed the driver
and passenger engaging...
in an attempt to hide some
object under the front seat.
Lord.
Mom, I didn't even know
he had the junk in the car.
I mean, I knew he smokes pot...
everybody smokes pot, but I
didn't think he was doing pills.
When he started shoving
the stuff under the seat...
well, what was I supposed
to do, make a citizen's arrest?
I mean...
when did I get to be
Goody Two-Shoes?
- Never.
- Officer Reardon...
acting on probable cause, instituted
the search of the suspect vehicle...
and located a clear
plastic bag containing...
Skip the containing. I'd
rather not know just now.
Mom, listen to me, I mean it.
I never would've gotten in the car
if I knew he had that kind of stuff.
Amphetamines are a
bummer. I know that.
Amphetamines are a
felony? Boy, I didn't know that.
Your daughter's not just
charged with possession.
She's charged with obstruction.
She tried to hide stuff
from Officer Reardon...
with the kid who was
driving. That's the felony.
Well, what kind of a
fall does that have?
What's the possible penalty?
Oh, I'm not
supposed to say so...
but first offense, she might
get off with a token sentence.
How long would that be?
Six months. Not
more than a year.
- Where's the phone?
- Outside the entrance there.
Hello, Sam.
It's me, Tom Bradford.
I'm sorry to call
you so late, but I...
Our family has some legal problems
that I'd like to talk over with you.
Bad night, huh?
It was a terrific night, it's
just a bad morning, is all.
Where is the reefer fiend?
- Dad.
- She wanted to sleep in late...
so I said she could.
I don't suppose I
have to fill any of you
in on our little
adventure last night, do I?
Is there gonna be a trial?
Well, hopefully not. I called Sam
Bostleman and he is going to arrange...
at one hell of a
legal fee, I'm afraid...
for Elizabeth to have the
finest lawyer on the coast.
In these kind of cases, anyway.
His name is R. Palmer
Wright. Very imposing name.
Anyway, Mr. Wright is
flying in from L.A. tomorrow...
and he's going to try to have
Elizabeth's charges dismissed...
on some grounds or other.
Frankly, I don't understand
all the ins and outs.
How much money are
we talking about, honey?
Fifteen hundred
dollars, my love.
And $1500 is
enough to be my love.
Come on. Garbage.
Give me a hand.
Daddy, he's your own
son. Don't call him garbage.
No, no, no, I didn't call him garbage.
I was speaking to him of garbage.
The same garbage that has to be
picked up in 15 minutes. Let's go.
- Okay, anybody want jelly on their toast?
- There's no more jelly.
Well, I wasn't offering, actually,
I was just taking a survey.
Dad. This lawyer you got, is he
gonna handle Stanley's case too?
Who is Stanley?
- The kid that she...
- Oh. The kid that she was with.
I don't know who's handling
Stanley's end of things.
- That's up to Stanley's family.
- Are you gonna let him hang?
I know we've got a lot
of kids in that house.
I don't recall Stanley as
being one of them, David.
Aw, Dad, that's just dumb.
- Why is that dumb?
- Because if they reduce the charges...
for Elizabeth and not her boyfriend,
it'll look like she finked on him.
- That's ridiculous.
- No, I'm serious.
You don't have the right
to make her look like that.
- No right at all.
- Hey, wait, hold on.
- No right, did you say?
- Yes.
I have no right to keep a felony
conviction off my daughter's record?
My daughter who will shortly be
applying to colleges for admissions?
- I have no right to try and help her?
- Did you ask her if she wants help?
No, I sure did not.
Just as I did not ask
you when you were 7...
if you had converted to
a belief in faith healing.
No, your mother and I just
arrogantly took you to the doctor's...
and told him to take out
your appendix before it burst.
- You're missing the point.
- Oh, really? Instruct me, please.
All right, the point is,
Elizabeth isn't 7 years old.
She's got a right to
make her own choices.
I think Elizabeth has made her
choice. She chose to break the law.
Or are we skipping
over that item?
What about when you
broke the law, that sit-in?
That was a bad law.
- So is the law dealing with...
- And I paid the penalty!
Which is what you
ought to let Elizabeth do...
instead of making her
look like some cop helper.
A, since when is it a
crime to help the police?
And B, why are you so worried
about what people think Elizabeth did...
when you know she
did not help the police?
You're not listening
to a word I say.
- Toby's dead.
What?
What did you say, Nicholas?
I said, Toby's dead.
Who is Toby, Nicholas?
Who was Toby?
Toby is the guinea
pig in Nicholas' class.
He choked on a
carrot, the teacher said.
Oh. Oh, I'm sorry, Nicholas.
I think I did meet Toby
once at a PTA meeting.
He appeared to be a
very nice guinea pig.
We get to bury him after lunch.
Good, it's always nice to have
something to look forward to.
Why are we talking
about poor old Toby?
So you and David won't
yell at each other anymore.
- You've got a very smart brother.
- It runs in the family.
I'm gonna finish my
breakfast, excuse me.
I wanna talk to you.
Mr. Bradford, I don't think
it's any of your business.
Oh, no, no, let me
rephrase the question.
Do the majority of women
working here wear bras?
It's a family matter. It's my
responsibility as a father to find out.
Some do and some don't.
My daughter will not be
satisfied with that answer.
What am I signing?
Group insurance forms
for Nicholas' tonsillectomy.
Insurance pays 50 percent.
Oh. Maybe we should get the
doctor to just take out one tonsil...
and then they
would pay for it all.
A hundred dollars
or so won't hurt you.
It won't help either.
- Okay. Anything else?
- Yes.
Yes, a Mr. Wright
may be calling me.
Not Mr. Right like in the
Warner Bros. love stories...
- but a Mr. W-R-I-G-H...
- I understand.
Okay, you understand.
Well, anyway, if Mr. Wright
calls, he's my lawyer.
Put him through no matter
where I am or who's here.
- Regardless, all right?
- Okay.
Dr. Maxwell wants to
know if you can play hooky...
- for golf this afternoon.
- No, I can't.
Joan and I are taking Nicholas to
the hospital for a sightseeing tour.
They didn't do that when I had
my tonsils out. It's a good idea.
Did you wear a bra
during the operation?
Goodbye, Mr. Bradford.
Farewell, my heart.
You got ink all over your hands.
Oh.
Well, to, uh, what
do I owe the honor?
Listen, I've only got about 15 minutes
before I have to be back to work.
What can I do for you?
If you get out of there...
I'll do something for
you like fix that ribbon.
Actually, I could
do it myself...
but your mother wants
me home before autumn.
Listen, uh...
I've been thinking about that
set-to this morning. Remember?
Yes, I remember it.
Then let's face it now.
This isn't the first time we've
gone around together like that, right?
I mean, we had words
when I dropped out of Cal...
you weren't too crazy about
me getting that motorcycle.
Anyway, the point is...
I've been thinking
about it all morning.
I can't seem to get
it out of my head.
Especially what Nicholas said...
about you and me yelling
at each other all the time.
What do you recommend, David?
I think I should move
out of the house.
I mean...
we'll both be
better off this way.
Okay.
And I was feeling so smug.
I thought he had
come up to apologize.
Well, do you think he
really was that definite?
Oh, yes, he was
that definite, all right.
Well, Tom, we always said we
wanted our children to be independent.
Don't quote me to
me. Fight fair, please.
Hi, can I help you?
Oh, yeah, we're
Mr. and Mrs. Bradford.
Doctor Nagel's gonna be
doing a tonsillectomy on our son.
I see. You'd like the
get-acquainted tour.
Wait here and I'll find
Dr. Himmler, okay?
Dr. Himmler?
That's comforting.
Hi, Mrs. Bradford. How are you?
Hi, Mr. Forrester.
I'm just fine, and you?
Holding my own.
You're the Bradfords? - Yeah.
- Hi. I'm Bill Himmler.
- Hello.
- And this is Nicholas, our patient?
- That's the guy.
- Hi, Nicholas.
- Hi.
I'm Dr. Himmler.
I understand you're coming
in here on Thursday...
so we can take
those tonsils on out.
Yes, sir.
Did Dr. Nagel explain to you just
why we wanna take your tonsils out?
Because of infections, he said.
That's pretty much
correct, Nicholas.
We don't know exactly why some
boys and girls do get infected tonsils...
and some boys and girls don't.
But we can be pretty sure
that once yours are out...
you'll be having a lot
fewer colds and sniffles.
And I imagine that makes
you feel pretty good, huh?
- Yes, sir. It does.
- Well, come on.
I'll show you the recovery room.
Joan?
Who's Mr. Forrester?
He's an architect.
He's an architect I commissioned to,
um, draw up plans to expand our bedroom.
Is he visiting somebody here?
I didn't ask.
What do you mean, commissioned?
I mean that, uh, he's
dropping the plans off Friday...
and we owe him $575.
I know we don't have $575...
because we owe
Elizabeth's lawyer $1500...
plus a hundred or so
for Nicholas' tonsils...
and we don't have that
kind of money in the bank.
And that's what I wanted
to talk to you about.
Hey, Dad?
Hey.
What do you want?
The doctor told me when I breathe into
a balloon, I won't feel anything hurt me.
Dr. Himmler, do you have one
of those balloons in a 39 regular?
Yeah. Come in.
I brought you some more
boxes in case you need them.
Oh, I could sure
use them, thanks.
How are you gonna get all these
things over to your new place?
Mm. Willie's coming over.
We're gonna use his truck.
David...
- tell me about your new apartment.
- Oh, it's nothing special.
Just a small place
with a little kitchenette.
But it's close to stores
and stuff like that.
Oh.
With your cooking talent...
I doubt if that kitchenette's
gonna see much service.
I'm writing a book: A Thousand
Ways to Serve Scrambled Eggs.
We're gonna miss you, David.
There's gonna be a lot less
hassle with me in my own place.
Easier on everybody.
If you need any more
boxes, let me know. Okay?
Will do.
Okay.
Okay. Mom, Mom?
Is Daddy still awake?
I don't know, I was
talking to David.
Well, um, we wanna
talk to you, if we can.
To both of you, please.
One day they're on the potty,
next day they're smoking pot.
Mom? Dad? Can we come in now?
Okay.
What were you watching?
Uh, just some slides of
people we used to know.
- Ah. What can we do for you? MARY:
We wanna talk to you about David.
About his moving out.
Wait a minute. I figured
that this would come up.
Going in, there's something
that you ought to know.
Ought to know what, Dad?
When your mother and I became parents,
we had to give up certain privileges.
We had to give up staying
out all night if we felt like it...
or sleeping in till
noon if we felt like that.
Bear in mind, I'm
not complaining.
I mean, what we received far
outweighs anything that we gave up.
Because what we
gave up were privileges.
But...
being a parent does not
require me to give up one right.
And among the rights that every human
being on the face of this earth has...
is the right not to be hypocritical, not
to have to apologize for something...
when he doesn't feel that
he's done anything wrong.
Accordingly...
if you expect me to apologize to
your brother for the argument we had...
I am afraid that I will have
to give you a flat refusal.
Because remember, parents are
citizens and citizens have rights...
and the answer is no.
Why don't you find out what the
question is before you give us an answer?
You mean, you don't want
me to apologize to David?
Frankly, Dad, um, most of
us think that you should...
but Elizabeth doesn't
think that you should.
She's the one that got busted.
If you don't feel you
should apologize, don't.
Do you think we're doing the
right thing arranging for this lawyer?
Yeah. And I told David that too.
- How come you didn't tell us?
- I just did.
It wouldn't do any
good to apologize.
- I mean, David's still moving out, right?
- Oh, yes. Agreed.
- Go on.
- Well, then what is the question?
We wanna know who's
gonna get David's room.
Dad, listen...
What are you doing up?
You first.
Well, I'm up because your father
is grinding his teeth so loudly...
it's enough to move
the San Andreas Fault.
So I thought I would look
at these football slides again.
- Did they turn out good?
- Yeah, they're really good.
What are you doing up so early?
I have to be at the lab
by 6:30 to watch the bats.
Watch what?
The bats.
We're doing a study on the
waking cycle of the gray bat.
And I've got the
6:30 to 9:30 bat shift.
Is that cold pizza?
You're eating cold pizza and
you're gonna watch a bat wake up?
Your generation is so
much stronger than ours.
I mean, we woke up to hot
cocoa and marshmallows.
You really think there's
that much difference?
- In generations, I mean.
- Yeah, don't you?
Uh-uh. No... except for...
- This is really good pizza, it really is.
- Except what, Mary?
Except the size of the
families kids wanna have...
when they get married.
- Well, you can't compare 1950 to 1976.
- I'm not.
Not really.
Sometimes I get a little
needling from the kids at school.
Oh.
Well, Mary, when your
father and I got married...
we were only planning to have a
couple of kids, you know, a boy and a girl.
And we had a
boy, we had a girl...
and another girl, and
another girl, another girl...
Why didn't you do
something? I don't understand...
Mary, what I'm trying to tell you nicely
is that about four of you were accidents.
Accidents?
Yeah.
It's not very flattering
to be an accident.
That doesn't mean you're not loved,
it just means that you weren't planned.
There's a big difference.
Okay.
I gotta go.
Do you have any words of
advice for the kids at school?
Yeah, tell them to, um, stay cool,
relax, I've got everything under control.
I've joined the Pregnancy
Anonymous Club.
Never again.
I'll see you later.
He's doing just fine.
I'll be back in a few minutes.
Tom, would you
relax? It's just tonsils.
It's Nicholas' tonsils.
It's not just tonsils.
I'll have them bronzed for you.
Come on, sit down.
I'm gonna check the office,
see if there are any calls.
Got a better idea. Why
don't you go to the office?
Suppose something goes wrong.
If something goes wrong,
I promise you, I'll call you.
Hello, Donna, it's me.
What's going on?
Him, I'll call back later.
Oh, yeah?
Hmm.
Yeah, all right.
Yeah, I'll be back
this afternoon.
Goodbye.
Our good lawyer, Mr. Wright,
flew into town this morning.
He dropped a writ off at the courthouse
that will get Elizabeth's charges reduced.
Then he went to the office
and picked up my check...
which will get our
bank account reduced.
He is now on the
return flight to L.A.
For that kind of money, you'd think we'd
at least get to meet him or kiss his ring.
Sweetheart, maybe someday
the meek will inherit the earth...
but if they do, you
can count on the fact...
that there'll be a lawyer
there to handle the probate.
Amen.
What about Mr. Forrester's $575?
I will simply, uh,
call Mr. Forrester...
go over to his house
dressed as a bloodless turnip...
and tell him that we'll pay
him over a period of time.
- There's nothing else we can do.
- I'm sorry, babe.
Let's see now...
one daughter being charged
with felony drug offense.
One small son
just out of surgery.
One large son
leaving home for good.
Half a thousand further in debt.
So far, so good.
Hey, Dad. TOMMY: Hi, Dad.
- See you.
- See you later.
Anybody home?
Silence.
Sometimes not so terrific.
I'll get it.
Oh, hello, I'm Mr. Bradford.
Is your father home?
Ah, right here, Mr. Bradford.
Right here. Ben Forrester.
Come on in. You'll
freeze out there in the cold.
This is my son, Billy.
- Hi, Bill.
- Hi, Mr. Bradford.
Den's right around the corner.
Can I get you anything? Uh...
- Drink? Beer? Coffee? Anything?
- No. No, not a thing. Thank you.
No?
Well, then, sit down.
Go ahead.
You know, first off,
Mr. Bradford, heh...
you don't have to
worry about my ego.
- Please?
- Well...
the plans, they're
not engraved in stone.
I don't have the money
to pay for the plans.
That's why I'm here.
I wanna work out, like, a
time payment schedule...
something like that, if
that would be all right.
Wow.
You know, Mr. Bradford,
I spent a lot of time...
working on those plans, and frankly,
I wasn't obligated to deliver the plans.
The telephone is ringing.
Dad. Excuse me, Dad.
Dr. Cooper's on the phone for you.
Oh.
Yes, doctor. Ben Forrester.
How are you?
Yeah, good, good, good.
Well, listen, uh, have you found
out anything that you can tell us?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I...
Uh, well...
Right, right.
Yeah, yeah.
Uh, well, thank you
very much, doctor.
Well...
no change one way or the other.
Okay. I'll be upstairs.
Well, where were we?
Uh, working out a time payment
for the money that we owe you.
You know, Mr. Bradford,
I pay my bills.
I'm not a deadbeat, and frankly,
I didn't think you were, either.
I'm not a deadbeat, or I
wouldn't be here now, would I?
You wanna know what the
problem in this world is, Mr. Bradford?
Is that people don't realize that
they have to pay as they go along.
You see, they wanna
mortgage their future.
If I could get $100 a month
together, would that be all right?
My son, Billy, has leukemia.
A hundred dollars a month, uh...
see, that would be about,
uh, six months, then.
Is that agreed?
Sure, sure, that'd be fine.
Yeah, yeah...
six months.
Mr. Forrester...
could I use the phone, please?
Yeah, yeah, sure.
Hello, Joan, it's me.
What's the new address
of David's apartment?
Yeah, just a second. Coming.
- Hi. How are you?
- Cold.
Oh, yeah. Come on in. Come on.
- The place is okay.
- Yeah. It'll do.
What do you want, Dad?
Oh, yeah, well, uh...
the reason I came here...
fell by. That what you say?
- No.
- Oh.
Well, um...
it's hard to know exactly
how to phrase this, but...
Either you're a
transvestite, or I'm intruding.
The latter.
I came here to tell
you I love you, David.
Loved you when you were a
baby and every day since then.
I loved you when I agreed
with what you were doing...
and I loved you when
I disagreed with you.
I loved you when I came this
close to knocking your head off...
for some arrogant,
thoughtless thing that you did.
From the day one, David...
you have been loved.
I don't know if it's important
for you to hear that...
but I know that right now, it's
important for me to say it to you.
Oh, and please remember...
I have no wish at this point in
my life to become a grandfather.
I'll keep it in mind.
Thank you very much.
Tails. We receive.
- We'll defend the east goal.
Play ball. JOAN: All right.
- I feel silly.
- Don't worry about it.
We'll kill them. You'll
be another Joe Namath.
- Only the pantyhose are the same.
- Ready!
Come on!
I got it. I got it.
David!
Tom, are you okay?
- Huh? Yes, yes, I'm
all right. I'm all right.
Don't worry about me, I'm fine,
I'm fine. I lost it in the sun, that's all.
What sun?
Hi, Mom. JOAN: Hi.
Well, at least I got one play
in. That's better than last week.
All right. Let's have a huddle.
Put the ball on
the five-yard line.
All right, come on.
Okay. All right, come on.
Don't worry about your mother,
she's got a no-cut contract.
All right, now, listen, Elizabeth,
you go short over the middle.
Nancy, you go to the left flat.
David, you go long
down the sides.
- Tommy...
- No, no, no, wait, I don't think so.
- What do you mean?
- I'm always going long.
Why don't you go long for once?
It's my team.
It's everybody's team. - Yeah.
Really. JOANIE: Hey,
Dad, you don't own us.
You're right.
I don't own you.
So Dad goes long?
- You think you can?
- Sure, I can do it.
Don't worry about me. I'll be all right.
All right, now, everybody, on three.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
- You're not passing, I am.
On two. Break. TOMMY: Break.
All right, here's our touchdown.
Hut one.
Hut two. Hike.
Come on, come on, come on.
Tom, dog dirt
down there! Dog dirt!
By the dawn's early light
What so proudly we hailed
At the twilight's last gleaming
Whose broad stripes and bright
stars Through the perilous fight
O'er the ramparts we watched
Were so gallantly streaming?
And the rockets' red glare
The bombs bursting in air
Gave proof through the night
That our flag was still there
Mom, sometimes when Daddy and
Dr. Maxwell do that, I could just die.
Oh, every now and then,
you can put up with it.
It's family tradition.
Other families get reunions or
old-time recipes for their traditions.
- The Bradfords get the Tusch Bowl.
- Really.
And the home of the brave!
- All right. Come on, Maxwells.
- Bradfords, play ball.
- Maxwells right here.
- The youngest calls the coin toss.
Nicholas, over here.
Now, you call it
in the air. Right?
Heads.
Heads, it is.
- We receive.
- All right, two-hand touch.
Two completed passes
in a row is a first down.
Don't call us the Bradford Brats, we
do not make any proctologist jokes.
Play ball.
Okay, team, let's go.
Ready? ALL: Yeah, ready!
Okay, team, come on, come on.
Okay. Okay. I've got it.
Okay, come on. Hurry up.
Okay. MAXWELL: Okay.
- Let's huddle.
- Maxwells, line up.
- Here we go. TOM:
Come over here.
Come on. Come on.
Over there.
Break. ALL: Break.
Hut one, hut two, hut three.
Okay. Go. JOAN:
Come on, Tom. Come on.
Come on, Tom.
Goals are down there.
Oh, Tom. Hurry up and
throw the dumb thing.
Hey. Where were you throwing
that thing to? I was wide open.
You were not wide open.
Danny was coming in on you
and he would have intercepted...
if I had not known enough
to throw the ball away.
Yes, yes, yes,
throw the ball away.
The same thing that Sonny
Jurgensen knew how to do so well.
- Yeah, he knew when to retire too.
- Ha-ha-ha.
Too much time in the huddle.
You're telling me.
Mother, nobody wears
a bra anymore. Really.
Elizabeth, you are gonna wear
a bra, and that's all there is to it.
Daddy?
I hear a voice in the
wilderness. What do you want?
Do any of the young secretaries
down at the newspaper wear bras?
How would I know,
sweetheart? I'm a married man.
Daddy, you're not blind.
I ain't dumb, either.
I'll be on the porch.
Elizabeth.
- Where's Joan?
- She just went upstairs.
She's trying to
extinguish a burning bra.
- Another drink?
- No. I'm fine.
- Dad, I'm going down to the Pit.
- Oh. Good, enjoy.
Listen, tell me about Dave
Harris. How is he coming along?
Oh, good. Well,
as far as I know.
It wasn't what you'd call
a major coronary, Tom.
- It was more a warning kind of thing.
- I know, but knowing Dave...
- Going to Johnny's.
- Be back by 9:00.
Yeah, yeah.
Knowing Dave, knowing that
he's such a driving kind of a guy.
He was so uptight about everything.
I think he ought to take it easy.
Dad. I'm going to the show.
What show? TOMMY:
Brother Blood Sucker.
- That sounds R.
- It's G. No kidding.
Take a silver bullet and
call me in the morning.
- Okay.
- Dave is so nervous.
And from what you read about
the effect of tension on the heart...
- Nancy's coming with me.
- Oh. Thank you, thank you.
Anybody as nervous as
Dave, I would have to think...
that he should really rethink his
whole way of reacting to everything.
Don't you think
so, shouldn't he?
I haven't the faintest idea
of what we're talking about.
About Dave Harris and
his heart attack. What else?
Oh, Dave will be fine.
As long as he never has
occasion to set foot in this house.
Ha, ha. What are
you talking about?
She's wearing a bra,
not wearing a bra?
It's a compromise.
Not wearing a bra...
but neither is she
wearing that blouse.
She's going topless. Clever.
No, no. She's wearing her
Washington Redskin T-shirt.
Anyone who would make a pass
towards George Allen's nose...
is no friend of democracy.
Why shouldn't Dave
Harris come to my house?
Well, it's just that
it's a little hectic, Tom.
I don't see how you ever
remember their names.
Never try eating nectarines
since juice may dispense.
- I beg your pardon? TOM:
Never try eating nectarines...
since juice may dispense.
Never, Nicholas. Try, Tommy.
Eating, Elizabeth.
Nectarines, Nancy.
Since, Susie. Juice, Joanie.
May, Mary. Dispense,
David. It never fails.
Hardly ever.
Well, our oldest two are
married and on their own now.
Believe you me, that
takes some getting used to.
- I can hardly wait.
- Oh, I bet.
Oh, just listen.
Listen to what?
The silence. The
absolute silence.
It's terrific until
you get used to it.
Then it's not so
terrific sometimes.
- I'm sorry.
- Hmm?
- For what?
- Filing my nails.
- I know you don't like that sound.
- Oh.
Thanks for the consideration...
but the fact of the matter is...
it bothers me less and
less as the years go by.
I suspect I'm growing deaf.
Oh, don't be asinine.
- What?
- I said you're not growing deaf.
The country's not going
to the left. Anything but.
Hello?
Yes, this is Mrs. Bradford.
Thank you, officer.
We'll be right there.
- Who?
- Elizabeth.
- What?
- Possession of narcotics.
Damn.
It's just so super dumb.
Just unreal.
Unfortunately, it's
very real, Elizabeth.
So tell me about it. Slowly
and without any editorials.
Okay.
- We were coming down Central Avenue...
- Who is we?
- Me and Stanley.
- Go on.
Anyway, we were coming
down Central Avenue...
and Stanley went through the stop
sign at about a 100th of a mile an hour...
and this pig on a motorcycle
was hiding behind...
Now, just hold on.
If you wanna enlist
my sympathies at all...
you better start out by telling me
about this man on a motorcycle...
or this officer on a motorcycle or
this guy on a motorcycle, whatever.
But if you go on calling
this motorcycle man a pig...
your old dad is going to have a
hard time rooting for the home team.
You always call yourself old
Dad when you wanna be charming.
- Do I?
- Yes, you do.
It's really super dumb, Daddy.
Let's debate my
personality some other time.
You're in jail, I'm not.
Oh, Daddy. It's not jail.
It's just JDH.
Juvenile Detention Hall.
- Elizabeth.
- Tom.
Tom, go ask the desk sergeant if we
can get Elizabeth out of here by tonight.
- You're so much better at this than I am.
- Oh, yeah, all right. I'll be right back.
I'm sorry, but I don't
think I did anything wrong.
Well, if that's the case, Elizabeth,
then you have nothing to be sorry about.
Now, you ran a stop sign.
The policeman pulled you over.
Next.
Officer Reardon observed the suspect
vehicle failing to heed a stop sign...
at the intersection of
Central and Western.
He halted the suspect vehicle at the
intersection of Willoughby and Central.
As Officer Ryan
approached the vehicle...
he observed the driver
and passenger engaging...
in an attempt to hide some
object under the front seat.
Lord.
Mom, I didn't even know
he had the junk in the car.
I mean, I knew he smokes pot...
everybody smokes pot, but I
didn't think he was doing pills.
When he started shoving
the stuff under the seat...
well, what was I supposed
to do, make a citizen's arrest?
I mean...
when did I get to be
Goody Two-Shoes?
- Never.
- Officer Reardon...
acting on probable cause, instituted
the search of the suspect vehicle...
and located a clear
plastic bag containing...
Skip the containing. I'd
rather not know just now.
Mom, listen to me, I mean it.
I never would've gotten in the car
if I knew he had that kind of stuff.
Amphetamines are a
bummer. I know that.
Amphetamines are a
felony? Boy, I didn't know that.
Your daughter's not just
charged with possession.
She's charged with obstruction.
She tried to hide stuff
from Officer Reardon...
with the kid who was
driving. That's the felony.
Well, what kind of a
fall does that have?
What's the possible penalty?
Oh, I'm not
supposed to say so...
but first offense, she might
get off with a token sentence.
How long would that be?
Six months. Not
more than a year.
- Where's the phone?
- Outside the entrance there.
Hello, Sam.
It's me, Tom Bradford.
I'm sorry to call
you so late, but I...
Our family has some legal problems
that I'd like to talk over with you.
Bad night, huh?
It was a terrific night, it's
just a bad morning, is all.
Where is the reefer fiend?
- Dad.
- She wanted to sleep in late...
so I said she could.
I don't suppose I
have to fill any of you
in on our little
adventure last night, do I?
Is there gonna be a trial?
Well, hopefully not. I called Sam
Bostleman and he is going to arrange...
at one hell of a
legal fee, I'm afraid...
for Elizabeth to have the
finest lawyer on the coast.
In these kind of cases, anyway.
His name is R. Palmer
Wright. Very imposing name.
Anyway, Mr. Wright is
flying in from L.A. tomorrow...
and he's going to try to have
Elizabeth's charges dismissed...
on some grounds or other.
Frankly, I don't understand
all the ins and outs.
How much money are
we talking about, honey?
Fifteen hundred
dollars, my love.
And $1500 is
enough to be my love.
Come on. Garbage.
Give me a hand.
Daddy, he's your own
son. Don't call him garbage.
No, no, no, I didn't call him garbage.
I was speaking to him of garbage.
The same garbage that has to be
picked up in 15 minutes. Let's go.
- Okay, anybody want jelly on their toast?
- There's no more jelly.
Well, I wasn't offering, actually,
I was just taking a survey.
Dad. This lawyer you got, is he
gonna handle Stanley's case too?
Who is Stanley?
- The kid that she...
- Oh. The kid that she was with.
I don't know who's handling
Stanley's end of things.
- That's up to Stanley's family.
- Are you gonna let him hang?
I know we've got a lot
of kids in that house.
I don't recall Stanley as
being one of them, David.
Aw, Dad, that's just dumb.
- Why is that dumb?
- Because if they reduce the charges...
for Elizabeth and not her boyfriend,
it'll look like she finked on him.
- That's ridiculous.
- No, I'm serious.
You don't have the right
to make her look like that.
- No right at all.
- Hey, wait, hold on.
- No right, did you say?
- Yes.
I have no right to keep a felony
conviction off my daughter's record?
My daughter who will shortly be
applying to colleges for admissions?
- I have no right to try and help her?
- Did you ask her if she wants help?
No, I sure did not.
Just as I did not ask
you when you were 7...
if you had converted to
a belief in faith healing.
No, your mother and I just
arrogantly took you to the doctor's...
and told him to take out
your appendix before it burst.
- You're missing the point.
- Oh, really? Instruct me, please.
All right, the point is,
Elizabeth isn't 7 years old.
She's got a right to
make her own choices.
I think Elizabeth has made her
choice. She chose to break the law.
Or are we skipping
over that item?
What about when you
broke the law, that sit-in?
That was a bad law.
- So is the law dealing with...
- And I paid the penalty!
Which is what you
ought to let Elizabeth do...
instead of making her
look like some cop helper.
A, since when is it a
crime to help the police?
And B, why are you so worried
about what people think Elizabeth did...
when you know she
did not help the police?
You're not listening
to a word I say.
- Toby's dead.
What?
What did you say, Nicholas?
I said, Toby's dead.
Who is Toby, Nicholas?
Who was Toby?
Toby is the guinea
pig in Nicholas' class.
He choked on a
carrot, the teacher said.
Oh. Oh, I'm sorry, Nicholas.
I think I did meet Toby
once at a PTA meeting.
He appeared to be a
very nice guinea pig.
We get to bury him after lunch.
Good, it's always nice to have
something to look forward to.
Why are we talking
about poor old Toby?
So you and David won't
yell at each other anymore.
- You've got a very smart brother.
- It runs in the family.
I'm gonna finish my
breakfast, excuse me.
I wanna talk to you.
Mr. Bradford, I don't think
it's any of your business.
Oh, no, no, let me
rephrase the question.
Do the majority of women
working here wear bras?
It's a family matter. It's my
responsibility as a father to find out.
Some do and some don't.
My daughter will not be
satisfied with that answer.
What am I signing?
Group insurance forms
for Nicholas' tonsillectomy.
Insurance pays 50 percent.
Oh. Maybe we should get the
doctor to just take out one tonsil...
and then they
would pay for it all.
A hundred dollars
or so won't hurt you.
It won't help either.
- Okay. Anything else?
- Yes.
Yes, a Mr. Wright
may be calling me.
Not Mr. Right like in the
Warner Bros. love stories...
- but a Mr. W-R-I-G-H...
- I understand.
Okay, you understand.
Well, anyway, if Mr. Wright
calls, he's my lawyer.
Put him through no matter
where I am or who's here.
- Regardless, all right?
- Okay.
Dr. Maxwell wants to
know if you can play hooky...
- for golf this afternoon.
- No, I can't.
Joan and I are taking Nicholas to
the hospital for a sightseeing tour.
They didn't do that when I had
my tonsils out. It's a good idea.
Did you wear a bra
during the operation?
Goodbye, Mr. Bradford.
Farewell, my heart.
You got ink all over your hands.
Oh.
Well, to, uh, what
do I owe the honor?
Listen, I've only got about 15 minutes
before I have to be back to work.
What can I do for you?
If you get out of there...
I'll do something for
you like fix that ribbon.
Actually, I could
do it myself...
but your mother wants
me home before autumn.
Listen, uh...
I've been thinking about that
set-to this morning. Remember?
Yes, I remember it.
Then let's face it now.
This isn't the first time we've
gone around together like that, right?
I mean, we had words
when I dropped out of Cal...
you weren't too crazy about
me getting that motorcycle.
Anyway, the point is...
I've been thinking
about it all morning.
I can't seem to get
it out of my head.
Especially what Nicholas said...
about you and me yelling
at each other all the time.
What do you recommend, David?
I think I should move
out of the house.
I mean...
we'll both be
better off this way.
Okay.
And I was feeling so smug.
I thought he had
come up to apologize.
Well, do you think he
really was that definite?
Oh, yes, he was
that definite, all right.
Well, Tom, we always said we
wanted our children to be independent.
Don't quote me to
me. Fight fair, please.
Hi, can I help you?
Oh, yeah, we're
Mr. and Mrs. Bradford.
Doctor Nagel's gonna be
doing a tonsillectomy on our son.
I see. You'd like the
get-acquainted tour.
Wait here and I'll find
Dr. Himmler, okay?
Dr. Himmler?
That's comforting.
Hi, Mrs. Bradford. How are you?
Hi, Mr. Forrester.
I'm just fine, and you?
Holding my own.
You're the Bradfords? - Yeah.
- Hi. I'm Bill Himmler.
- Hello.
- And this is Nicholas, our patient?
- That's the guy.
- Hi, Nicholas.
- Hi.
I'm Dr. Himmler.
I understand you're coming
in here on Thursday...
so we can take
those tonsils on out.
Yes, sir.
Did Dr. Nagel explain to you just
why we wanna take your tonsils out?
Because of infections, he said.
That's pretty much
correct, Nicholas.
We don't know exactly why some
boys and girls do get infected tonsils...
and some boys and girls don't.
But we can be pretty sure
that once yours are out...
you'll be having a lot
fewer colds and sniffles.
And I imagine that makes
you feel pretty good, huh?
- Yes, sir. It does.
- Well, come on.
I'll show you the recovery room.
Joan?
Who's Mr. Forrester?
He's an architect.
He's an architect I commissioned to,
um, draw up plans to expand our bedroom.
Is he visiting somebody here?
I didn't ask.
What do you mean, commissioned?
I mean that, uh, he's
dropping the plans off Friday...
and we owe him $575.
I know we don't have $575...
because we owe
Elizabeth's lawyer $1500...
plus a hundred or so
for Nicholas' tonsils...
and we don't have that
kind of money in the bank.
And that's what I wanted
to talk to you about.
Hey, Dad?
Hey.
What do you want?
The doctor told me when I breathe into
a balloon, I won't feel anything hurt me.
Dr. Himmler, do you have one
of those balloons in a 39 regular?
Yeah. Come in.
I brought you some more
boxes in case you need them.
Oh, I could sure
use them, thanks.
How are you gonna get all these
things over to your new place?
Mm. Willie's coming over.
We're gonna use his truck.
David...
- tell me about your new apartment.
- Oh, it's nothing special.
Just a small place
with a little kitchenette.
But it's close to stores
and stuff like that.
Oh.
With your cooking talent...
I doubt if that kitchenette's
gonna see much service.
I'm writing a book: A Thousand
Ways to Serve Scrambled Eggs.
We're gonna miss you, David.
There's gonna be a lot less
hassle with me in my own place.
Easier on everybody.
If you need any more
boxes, let me know. Okay?
Will do.
Okay.
Okay. Mom, Mom?
Is Daddy still awake?
I don't know, I was
talking to David.
Well, um, we wanna
talk to you, if we can.
To both of you, please.
One day they're on the potty,
next day they're smoking pot.
Mom? Dad? Can we come in now?
Okay.
What were you watching?
Uh, just some slides of
people we used to know.
- Ah. What can we do for you? MARY:
We wanna talk to you about David.
About his moving out.
Wait a minute. I figured
that this would come up.
Going in, there's something
that you ought to know.
Ought to know what, Dad?
When your mother and I became parents,
we had to give up certain privileges.
We had to give up staying
out all night if we felt like it...
or sleeping in till
noon if we felt like that.
Bear in mind, I'm
not complaining.
I mean, what we received far
outweighs anything that we gave up.
Because what we
gave up were privileges.
But...
being a parent does not
require me to give up one right.
And among the rights that every human
being on the face of this earth has...
is the right not to be hypocritical, not
to have to apologize for something...
when he doesn't feel that
he's done anything wrong.
Accordingly...
if you expect me to apologize to
your brother for the argument we had...
I am afraid that I will have
to give you a flat refusal.
Because remember, parents are
citizens and citizens have rights...
and the answer is no.
Why don't you find out what the
question is before you give us an answer?
You mean, you don't want
me to apologize to David?
Frankly, Dad, um, most of
us think that you should...
but Elizabeth doesn't
think that you should.
She's the one that got busted.
If you don't feel you
should apologize, don't.
Do you think we're doing the
right thing arranging for this lawyer?
Yeah. And I told David that too.
- How come you didn't tell us?
- I just did.
It wouldn't do any
good to apologize.
- I mean, David's still moving out, right?
- Oh, yes. Agreed.
- Go on.
- Well, then what is the question?
We wanna know who's
gonna get David's room.
Dad, listen...
What are you doing up?
You first.
Well, I'm up because your father
is grinding his teeth so loudly...
it's enough to move
the San Andreas Fault.
So I thought I would look
at these football slides again.
- Did they turn out good?
- Yeah, they're really good.
What are you doing up so early?
I have to be at the lab
by 6:30 to watch the bats.
Watch what?
The bats.
We're doing a study on the
waking cycle of the gray bat.
And I've got the
6:30 to 9:30 bat shift.
Is that cold pizza?
You're eating cold pizza and
you're gonna watch a bat wake up?
Your generation is so
much stronger than ours.
I mean, we woke up to hot
cocoa and marshmallows.
You really think there's
that much difference?
- In generations, I mean.
- Yeah, don't you?
Uh-uh. No... except for...
- This is really good pizza, it really is.
- Except what, Mary?
Except the size of the
families kids wanna have...
when they get married.
- Well, you can't compare 1950 to 1976.
- I'm not.
Not really.
Sometimes I get a little
needling from the kids at school.
Oh.
Well, Mary, when your
father and I got married...
we were only planning to have a
couple of kids, you know, a boy and a girl.
And we had a
boy, we had a girl...
and another girl, and
another girl, another girl...
Why didn't you do
something? I don't understand...
Mary, what I'm trying to tell you nicely
is that about four of you were accidents.
Accidents?
Yeah.
It's not very flattering
to be an accident.
That doesn't mean you're not loved,
it just means that you weren't planned.
There's a big difference.
Okay.
I gotta go.
Do you have any words of
advice for the kids at school?
Yeah, tell them to, um, stay cool,
relax, I've got everything under control.
I've joined the Pregnancy
Anonymous Club.
Never again.
I'll see you later.
He's doing just fine.
I'll be back in a few minutes.
Tom, would you
relax? It's just tonsils.
It's Nicholas' tonsils.
It's not just tonsils.
I'll have them bronzed for you.
Come on, sit down.
I'm gonna check the office,
see if there are any calls.
Got a better idea. Why
don't you go to the office?
Suppose something goes wrong.
If something goes wrong,
I promise you, I'll call you.
Hello, Donna, it's me.
What's going on?
Him, I'll call back later.
Oh, yeah?
Hmm.
Yeah, all right.
Yeah, I'll be back
this afternoon.
Goodbye.
Our good lawyer, Mr. Wright,
flew into town this morning.
He dropped a writ off at the courthouse
that will get Elizabeth's charges reduced.
Then he went to the office
and picked up my check...
which will get our
bank account reduced.
He is now on the
return flight to L.A.
For that kind of money, you'd think we'd
at least get to meet him or kiss his ring.
Sweetheart, maybe someday
the meek will inherit the earth...
but if they do, you
can count on the fact...
that there'll be a lawyer
there to handle the probate.
Amen.
What about Mr. Forrester's $575?
I will simply, uh,
call Mr. Forrester...
go over to his house
dressed as a bloodless turnip...
and tell him that we'll pay
him over a period of time.
- There's nothing else we can do.
- I'm sorry, babe.
Let's see now...
one daughter being charged
with felony drug offense.
One small son
just out of surgery.
One large son
leaving home for good.
Half a thousand further in debt.
So far, so good.
Hey, Dad. TOMMY: Hi, Dad.
- See you.
- See you later.
Anybody home?
Silence.
Sometimes not so terrific.
I'll get it.
Oh, hello, I'm Mr. Bradford.
Is your father home?
Ah, right here, Mr. Bradford.
Right here. Ben Forrester.
Come on in. You'll
freeze out there in the cold.
This is my son, Billy.
- Hi, Bill.
- Hi, Mr. Bradford.
Den's right around the corner.
Can I get you anything? Uh...
- Drink? Beer? Coffee? Anything?
- No. No, not a thing. Thank you.
No?
Well, then, sit down.
Go ahead.
You know, first off,
Mr. Bradford, heh...
you don't have to
worry about my ego.
- Please?
- Well...
the plans, they're
not engraved in stone.
I don't have the money
to pay for the plans.
That's why I'm here.
I wanna work out, like, a
time payment schedule...
something like that, if
that would be all right.
Wow.
You know, Mr. Bradford,
I spent a lot of time...
working on those plans, and frankly,
I wasn't obligated to deliver the plans.
The telephone is ringing.
Dad. Excuse me, Dad.
Dr. Cooper's on the phone for you.
Oh.
Yes, doctor. Ben Forrester.
How are you?
Yeah, good, good, good.
Well, listen, uh, have you found
out anything that you can tell us?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I...
Uh, well...
Right, right.
Yeah, yeah.
Uh, well, thank you
very much, doctor.
Well...
no change one way or the other.
Okay. I'll be upstairs.
Well, where were we?
Uh, working out a time payment
for the money that we owe you.
You know, Mr. Bradford,
I pay my bills.
I'm not a deadbeat, and frankly,
I didn't think you were, either.
I'm not a deadbeat, or I
wouldn't be here now, would I?
You wanna know what the
problem in this world is, Mr. Bradford?
Is that people don't realize that
they have to pay as they go along.
You see, they wanna
mortgage their future.
If I could get $100 a month
together, would that be all right?
My son, Billy, has leukemia.
A hundred dollars a month, uh...
see, that would be about,
uh, six months, then.
Is that agreed?
Sure, sure, that'd be fine.
Yeah, yeah...
six months.
Mr. Forrester...
could I use the phone, please?
Yeah, yeah, sure.
Hello, Joan, it's me.
What's the new address
of David's apartment?
Yeah, just a second. Coming.
- Hi. How are you?
- Cold.
Oh, yeah. Come on in. Come on.
- The place is okay.
- Yeah. It'll do.
What do you want, Dad?
Oh, yeah, well, uh...
the reason I came here...
fell by. That what you say?
- No.
- Oh.
Well, um...
it's hard to know exactly
how to phrase this, but...
Either you're a
transvestite, or I'm intruding.
The latter.
I came here to tell
you I love you, David.
Loved you when you were a
baby and every day since then.
I loved you when I agreed
with what you were doing...
and I loved you when
I disagreed with you.
I loved you when I came this
close to knocking your head off...
for some arrogant,
thoughtless thing that you did.
From the day one, David...
you have been loved.
I don't know if it's important
for you to hear that...
but I know that right now, it's
important for me to say it to you.
Oh, and please remember...
I have no wish at this point in
my life to become a grandfather.
I'll keep it in mind.
Thank you very much.
Tails. We receive.
- We'll defend the east goal.
Play ball. JOAN: All right.
- I feel silly.
- Don't worry about it.
We'll kill them. You'll
be another Joe Namath.
- Only the pantyhose are the same.
- Ready!
Come on!
I got it. I got it.
David!
Tom, are you okay?
- Huh? Yes, yes, I'm
all right. I'm all right.
Don't worry about me, I'm fine,
I'm fine. I lost it in the sun, that's all.
What sun?
Hi, Mom. JOAN: Hi.
Well, at least I got one play
in. That's better than last week.
All right. Let's have a huddle.
Put the ball on
the five-yard line.
All right, come on.
Okay. All right, come on.
Don't worry about your mother,
she's got a no-cut contract.
All right, now, listen, Elizabeth,
you go short over the middle.
Nancy, you go to the left flat.
David, you go long
down the sides.
- Tommy...
- No, no, no, wait, I don't think so.
- What do you mean?
- I'm always going long.
Why don't you go long for once?
It's my team.
It's everybody's team. - Yeah.
Really. JOANIE: Hey,
Dad, you don't own us.
You're right.
I don't own you.
So Dad goes long?
- You think you can?
- Sure, I can do it.
Don't worry about me. I'll be all right.
All right, now, everybody, on three.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
- You're not passing, I am.
On two. Break. TOMMY: Break.
All right, here's our touchdown.
Hut one.
Hut two. Hike.
Come on, come on, come on.
Tom, dog dirt
down there! Dog dirt!