Ed, Edd n Eddy (1999–2008): Season 1, Episode 1 - The Ed-Touchables/Nagged to Ed - full transcript
The Eds discover that people's things are being touched and set out to catch the "serial toucher."/ After getting lost in the woods, the Eds are taken in by the "Kanker Sisters."
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP
BRRRR! YEAH!
[CLACK]
[CLACK]
[CLACK]
[CLACK]
[CLACKING]
WHOO-HOO!
[CONTENTED SIGH]
4,820. 4,824.
OOH, I LIKE WHAT YOU'VE DONE
WITH THAT TUNNEL.
4,831. 4,835.
THAT'S EVERYBODY.
4,837.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
HMM?
[DING DONG]
[RAPID RINGING]
HMM.
[DING DONG]
NOW, PLEASE!
[DING DONG]
AAH!
[DING DONG]
HEY, DOUBLE D!
WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?
OH, HELLO, EDDY.
SO WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
HEY, WAS THAT YOU
RINGING MY DOORBELL?
WHO, ME?
NAH.
WAIT, EDDY.
YOU KNOW THE RULES.
AW, COME ON, EDD.
NOT AGAIN.
[GROANS]
ALL RIGHT!
SHEESH!
STUPID SLIPPERS.
AND I'LL DISPOSE
OF THESE.
OK. THE SLIPPERS
ARE ON NOW--
OOOFF!
WE'LL HAVE YOU CLEAN
IN NO TIME, EDDY.
ALMOST DONE.
GEE, THANKS, EDD.
AFTER YOU, EDDY.
YEAH. AFTER ME.
WHA-HA-HOO-HOO!
EDDY!
MESSY, MESSY,
MESSY, MESSY, MESSY.
PLEASE DON'T DO THAT,
EDDY.
HUHH!
EDDY!
AAH! HUH?
PLEASE RETURN
THOSE LABELS
TO THEIR
RIGHTFUL DESIGNATIONS.
ALL RIGHT,
ALL RIGHT!
DON'T HAVE
A BIRD. HEH HEH.
ARE YOU DONE YET?
LET'S GO GET ED!
PLEASE BE PATIENT.
I HAVE JUST
ONE MORE...
YAAH!
IT'S GONE!
EDDY!
SOMEONE TOOK
MY MAGNIFYING GLASS.
I FEEL SO VIOLATED.
MAYBE YOU
MISPLACED IT.
NEVER!
WHAT HAS BECOME
OF THIS WORLD?
IS NOTHING SACRED?
OHH! EVERYTHING IS SOILED!
WHO WOULD DO
SUCH A THING?
WHO WOULD VIOLATE THE SANCTITY
OF SOMEBODY'S ROOM
WITH THEIR
FILTHY HANDS? OH!
OH, EDDY, I FEEL SICK!
I--UHH! I FEEL NAUSEOUS!
I CAN'T BREATHE!
THANK YOU.
I NEEDED THAT.
ANYTIME, PAL.
YOU KNOW, YOU CAN'T
HAVE SOMEBODY
TOUCHING YOUR STUFF.
IT JUST ISN'T RIGHT.
OK! RACE YOU
TO ED'S PLACE!
Eddy: WHOO!
THERE HE IS.
HUH HUH HUH...
OOH!
[EDD MUFFLING YELLS]
SHH.
[WHISPERING]
Quit fooling around.
HEY, EDDY!
WHAT'S UP?
DOGPILE!
HIYA, DOUBLE D.
YOU GUYS MAKE ME LAUGH.
[STOMPING]
WHERE IS SHE?!
WHAT? WHO?
MY DOLLY.
POLLY POO POO,
THAT'S WHO.
[CAT SCREECHES]
I--I NEED MY DOLLY.
BUT, SARAH,
I DIDN'T TOUCH HER.
LIAR!
DON'T YOU LIE TO ME,
YOU DOLLY STEALER!
YOU GOTTA LOVE
THESE FAMILY MOMENTS.
IF YOU DON'T TELL ME
WHERE SHE IS,
I'M GONNA GET
REALLY ANGRY!
[CRASH]
[COUGH COUGH]
UH, ED?
YEAH, EDDY?
AS MUCH AS I REALLY
LOVE THE SMELL
OF YOUR STINKY PITS,
CAN YOU LET GO
OF MY HEAD NOW?
YOU KNOW, SOMEONE HAS
TOUCHED MY STUFF ALSO.
REALLY?
DON'T YOU SEE WHAT'S
GOING ON HERE?
IT'S EPIDEMICAL.
DOUBLE D's
MAGNIFYING GLASS,
SARAH'S DOLL.
OOF!
SOMEONE OR SOMETHING
IS TOUCHING
EVERYBODY'S STUFF.
WE GOTTA
SPREAD THE WORD.
WE HAVE TO WARN EVERYONE
THAT'S THERE'S A--
A SERIAL TOUCHER
ON THE LOOSE.
HOW ARE WE GOING
TO DO THAT, EDDY?
HEY! I KNOW JUST
WHAT TO DO!
HA HA HA HA HA!
ATTENTION, PLEASE!
HEY! BEWARE OF THE TOUCHER!
SERIAL TOUCHER ON THE LOOSE!
HIDE YOUR STUFF!
HIDE YOUR VALUABLES!
OH, NO.
OH, NO.
SERIAL TOUCHER ON THE LOOSE!
THAT DIRTY TOUCHER
TOOK MY DOLLY POO POO!
AAH!
TOUCHER.
IT'S TRUE.
WON'T SOMEBODY HELP US?
[WORRIED CHATTER]
QUIET! QUIET!
EVERYONE JUST RELAX!
WE'VE GOT IT ALL
UNDER CONTROL.
YEAH? WHAT CAN YOU DORKS
DO ABOUT IT?
WELL, WE DORKS
ARE GONNA SOLVE
THIS MYSTERY.
HA! I'D PAY MONEY
TO SEE THAT.
ME, TOO.
Kevin:
YEAH, WE ALL WOULD.
WHAT DO YOU PROPOSE
WE DO NOW?
OK, BOYS.
HERE'S THE LANE, OK?
WE'LL START HERE.
THEN WE'LL CROSS THE STREET
OVER BY THE CORNER STORE...
[ED LAUGHING]
Edd: PLEASE DO NOT MOVE.
THIS IS DELICATE WORK.
HA HA HA HA HA!
Eddy: THERE'S NO WAY
THE TOUCHER CAN RESIST THIS.
PERFECT.
SOMEONE'S COMING.
ED, DON'T MOVE.
AND STOP GIGGLING!
DORK!
DORK?
SHH! ED, SOMEBODY ELSE
IS COMING.
WHAT YA DOING, ED?
OH, ED, I'M LIKIN'
YOUR HAIRCUT.
WHAT'S THAT, PLANK?
YOU WANNA FEEL, TOO?
OK.
ED'S BEEN TOUCHED.
PULL! PULL!
[BELLS AND SIRENS]
AHA! DR. TOUCHER,
I PRESUME?
WHOA! YOU GUYS
ARE WEIRD!
GET HIM!
Eddy: MOVE IT, ED!
Eddy: COME ON!
ED, THIS WAY!
HE'S GETTING AWAY!
FOLLOW ME!
[BAA]
UHH!
UHH!
AAH!
OH...OH...
THEY GOT ME, OLD BUDDY.
BUT YOU--YOU CAN
STILL MAKE IT, PLANK!
RUN!
SAVE YOURSELF.
BE NICE! AWW!
[POLICE RADIO DISPATCH]
HEY, JONNY,
NICE HAIRCUT.
DOUBLE D's GOT
A SURPRISE FOR YOU--
A LIE DETECTOR.
READY.
BETTER WATCH WHAT
YOU SAY, JONNY.
YEAH, JONNY.
HEH HEH HEH HEH.
YOU WOULDN'T LIE TO
YOUR PALS NOW, WOULD YOU?
ED, LIGHT.
ALL RIGHT, JONNY.
ENOUGH FOOLING AROUND.
SO, WHY DON'T
YOU JUST TELL US
WHERE EVERYBODY'S
STUFF IS, HMM?
I DON'T KNOW WHAT
YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!
WHAT'S THE WORD, DOUBLE D?
[SNIFF SNIFF]
INCONCLUSIVE, EDDY.
ARRRGGH!
WELL, IF YOU WON'T TALK,
MAYBE YOUR FRIEND WILL!
YOU MUST BE
THE BRAINS, HUH?
WHERE'S THE STUFF,
PLANKY? FESS UP!
OH...
SILENT, HUH?
AAAAAAGGGH!
SPLINTERS!
AAAH! LEAVE PLANK
ALONE, EDDY!
[DING]
[SNIFF]
AS YOU CAN SEE,
THE BOARD IS LYING.
WELL, PLANKY?
I THINK IT'S TIME
WE TRIED OTHER METHODS.
HUH?
THIS WILL MAKE YOU
SWELL UP GOOD.
AHH! OHH...
OHHH...
[DRIP DRIP DRIP]
[MOANING]
[DRIP DRIP DRIP]
[DRIP DRIP DRIP DRIP]
AAAAAH!
OK! OK! I DID IT!
I TOOK EVERYONE'S STUFF!
NOW LET ME GO!
I GOTTA GO TO THE BATHROOM!
YOU HEARD HIM, BOYS.
CASE CLOSED.
AAH! OOH! EEE! OHH!
AAH! OHH!
[JINGLES]
SO, BOYS,
WHAT'S BIG, ROUND,
COSTS A NICKEL...
JAWBREAKERS!
JAWBREAKERS!
NOW AWAY WE GO!
NOW JUST
A ROTTEN MINUTE.
I FOUND MY DOLLY
UNDER MY BED.
IT'S TRUE.
AND HERE SHE IS,
SEE?
Edd:
EXCUSE ME, EDDY.
AHEM, UPON FURTHER
INSPECTION OF MY PERSON,
I SEEM TO HAVE
COME ACROSS...
MY MAGNIFYING GLASS.
Jonny: HELP!
HEH HEH.
THAT EDDY THINKS
HE'S SO SMART.
WE KNOW YOU DIDN'T
DO IT, JONNY.
[WOOZY]
THANK YOU.
HANG TIGHT, JONNY.
THIS WON'T HURT
A BIT.
THIS IS GOOD.
SHOULD WE FEEL GUILTY
ABOUT JONNY'S PREDICAMENT?
NAH. YOU KNOW
WHAT THEY SAY--
A LITTLE
CHILDHOOD TRAUMA
BUILDS CHARACTER.
[CAR HORN HONKS]
COME ON! WE GOTTA
GET THE JAWBREAKERS!
Edd: NOT SO FAST,
LITTLE FELLA.
I SAW THIS THING
IN A MOVIE,
I MADE A THORAX.
ANTS--CHECK.
MILLIPEDES--CHECK.
MOTHS--
YEAH. IT'S A BUG.
WELL, EDDY,
THE TIME HAS ARRIVED
FOR MY MONTHLY
INSECT EXPEDITION.
A PAIR OF GALOSHES
AND STERILE GLOVES
TO AVOID BACTERIA
AND GERMS.
OH, INSECTS BUG ME.
ED, POUR VOUS.
OK, READY!
CHECK!
[INFLATES]
[CRASH]
SO, LET US PROCEED
TO THE FOREST.
FOLLOW NATURE BOY.
ISN'T IT MAGNIFICENT?
ALL THE SPLENDORS
OF NATURE DISPLAYED
IN ONE GIANT PETRI DISH
FULL OF LIFE!
[GULPS]
I THINK I
SWALLOWED A BUG.
[CRACK]
WH-WHAT WAS THAT?
[WARBLING]
THAT'S IT!
THIS NATURE STUFF
IS FOR THE BIRDS!
WHOA!
EDDY?
EDDY?
WHOA, WAY BIG!
IT'S A MASTERPIECE
OF NATURE.
LOOKS LIKE MY
GRANDMOTHER'S HAIR NET.
WELL,
LET'S GO, GUYS.
ED!
GET DOWN,
YOU MANIAC!
YEE-HA! IT'S STICKY!
YOU'RE DISTURBING
THE ECO-ENVIRONMENT.
[GIRLS LAUGH]
UH, WHAT WAS THAT?
NOW YOU'VE DONE IT.
ED, I SUGGEST--
[LAUGHTER]
[GULPS]
♪ ...EDDY SITTIN' IN A TREE ♪
♪ K-I-S-S-I-N-G ♪
ED! GET OFF
THAT THING!
HUH?
[LAUGHTER]
HELP ME, GUYS!
I DON'T WANT THE FLUIDS
DRAINED FROM MY BODY!
HOLD ON, ED!
WE'LL RESCUE YOU!
[GRUNTS]
♪ ...EDDY SITTIN' IN A TREE ♪
♪ K-I-S-S-I-N-G ♪
[WINGS FLAP, LAUGHTER]
All: AAAAAAAH!
♪ ED, EDD, AND EDDY ♪
♪ SITTIN' IN A TREE ♪
♪ K-I-S-S-I-N-G ♪
♪ ...S-S-I-N-G ♪
♪ K-I-S-S-I-N-G ♪
All: AAAAH!
THERE'S A WAY OUT
THROUGH THE TREES!
[ALL YELLING]
[SPUTTERING]
HELP! QUICKSAND! HELP!
MY EYES!
[LAUGHTER]
All: YAAH!
HEY, ED. SO HAPPY
YOU DROPPED IN.
HOPE YOU LIKE
OUR DAD'S ROBES.
HUH?
HOW DID WE GET
INTO THESE?
[PUCKERING]
EEEEYAAAAH!
[LAUGHING]
THIS IS NOT GOOD.
GO AHEAD, YELL.
NO ONE WILL HEAR YOU.
I'M MAY KANKER.
I'M MARIE KANKER.
AND I'M LEE KANKER.
WE'RE THE KANKER SISTERS.
WE JUST MOVED IN. HEH HEH.
I'M EDDY.
I'M ED.
I'M--
WE KNOW. DOUBLE D.
DON'T YOU WORRY
ABOUT THAT.
UH, DO YOU GIRLS KNOW
WHERE OUR CLOTHES ARE?
OH, THEY'RE DRYING OUTSIDE.
YOU BOYS SURE WERE DIRTY.
HUH?
WE'RE GONNA POP INTO
THE KITCHEN FOR A BIT, BOYS,
AND FIX UP
SOME HOME COOKING FOR YA.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
HEY! WAIT FOR ME!
THIS IS VERY STRANGE.
LET'S GO.
HOLD IT, DOUBLE D.
WHERE'S YOUR MANNERS?
THEY'RE NEW HERE.
AND THEY SAID THEY WERE
GONNA MAKE US SOME FOOD,
DIDN'T THEY?
SO, WHY DON'T WE JUST
HANG OUT FOR A BIT,
EAT FOR FREE,
AND THEN WE CAN SPLIT.
COME ON. LET'S CHECK
THIS PLACE OUT.
WHERE EXACTLY ARE WE?
OH. HUH.
Eddy: LOOKS LIKE A POSTCARD
I SENT MY BROTHER ONCE.
AH, TV!
AW, IT'S A RERUN.
NICE SPACE HELMET.
TAKE ME TO YOUR PLUMBER.
HEH HEH. NICE HEAD, ED.
GET IT? IT RHYMES!
"HEAD", "ED".
I CRACK ME UP.
INTERESTING-- HUBCAP DIGEST.
THIS BOOK HAS NO PRINT.
THESE PAGES ARE BLANK!
HA HA HA! LOOK!
HA HA HA HA!
ARTWORK!
IT'S ED AND MAY!
HOW CUTE!
Edd: IS THAT ME?
WHAT THE--
AAAH!
THAT'S NOT FUNNY!
Marie: OK, BOYS.
COME AND GET SOME NICE, COLD,
DELICIOUS POWDERED MILK.
Ed: THANKS.
Edd: THANK YOU
VERY MUCH.
[COUGH COUGH]
Marie: HOW ABOUT
A VIDEO?
FISHBOWL 2--
A CLASSIC.
All: AH.
IT'S SO NICE TO HAVE
THE BOYS HOME.
[COW MOOS]
HEY! I'M DOING
THE FISH STICKS!
THEN GIVE ME
THE SQUEEZE-IT LOG!
GIRLS, SHUT UP!
WE GOT LUNCH
TO MAKE.
THE WAY TO A MAN'S HEART
IS THROUGH HIS ARTERIES.
AND A LITTLE KANKER
SECRET SAUCE--
KETCHUP!
[TOGETHER]
DINNER'S READY!
[TOGETHER]
AHH...
[TOGETHER]
AHH...
THEY'RE SO DREAMY.
HA HA HA HA HA!
BE BACK IN A MINUTE,
BOYS.
YEAH. WE'RE GONNA GO
AND FRESHEN UP.
All: AHH.
[GRATING]
[BURPS]
[SNAP]
[TOGETHER]
HEE HEE HEE HEE.
WE'RE BACK!
NOTICE ANYTHING NEW,
EDDY?
THE FINEST IN
PROCESSED PRODUCTS.
ONLY THE BEST
FOR YOU.
HEY, HOW ABOUT A REFILL
ON THAT POWDERED MILK STUFF?
DO YOU LIKE
OUR KANKER BURGER,
BIG ED?
EH, IT'S GOOD. YEAH!
DON'T TALK WITH YOUR
MOUTH FULL, MISTER!
EEEEE!
AAH!
PLEASE REFRAIN FROM
TOUCHING ME WHEN I'M EATING.
THANK YOU.
HUMPH!
I'LL TOUCH YOU
WHENEVER I WANT,
BUDDY BOY!
IS THERE A PROBLEM?
[TOGETHER]
EVERYTHING'S FINE!
[BURPING, CHOMPING]
HEY, MOVE IT!
OUT OF THE WAY!
THIS IS
THE BEST PART!
"MOVE IT"?
IT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH
THAT WE'VE WORKED HARD
AND BROKEN OUR BACKS FOR YOU?
HUH?
IF THINGS DON'T CHANGE
AROUND HERE, WE'RE LEAVING!
IT'S TIME YOU
GOOD-FOR-NOTHINGS
STARTED TO PULL
OUR OWN WEIGHT AROUND HERE!
WHAT IS UP
WITH THEM?
CLEAN THIS MESS UP
RIGHT NOW!
Lee: HEY! OVER HERE!
CLEAN THIS MESS!
HEY!
YOU CALL THAT CLEAN?
GET WASHING!
AND SCRUBBING!
COME ALONG,
LITTLE MAN!
TIME TO
CLEAN UP!
AAH!
AH HEH HEH. HEH HEH HEH.
AND YOU!
[ED WHISTLING A TUNE]
MAKE IT SHINE!
ED, YOU'VE RUINED
MY DISHES.
AH HA HA HA!
HEADED OUTSIDE, EDDY.
SLACKER.
THAT BETTER BE FIGHTIN'
OVER ME I HEAR IN THERE!
I'M GOING TO SANITIZE
THE LIVING AREA.
Eddy: OK.
I'LL CLEAN THIS.
I'LL CLEAN EVERYTHING!
[TOGETHER]
BETTER SHINE IT UP NICE.
HEH HEH HEH.
Kankers: HEY, MUD-TRACKER!
YOU'RE TRACKING MUD!
MUD?
HUH?
[HOLLOW BREATHING]
UH-OH.
UHH!
YOU BETTER NOT WRECK
DADDY'S BUCKET.
HANG THESE OUTSIDE.
OK, EDDY!
Lee: YOU SAILORS
ARE ALL ALIKE.
[HOLLOW BREATHING]
YOU SHOULD GO BACK
TO DIVING FOR CLAMS.
THAT'S ENOUGH!
[WHIMPERING]
OK?
[WHIMPERING]
THIS IS THE THANKS
WE GET FOR OUR HARD WORK?
[CRYING]
UH-OH.
US GIRLS HAVE GOTTA
GET OURSELVES TOGETHER.
HAVEN'T YOU DONE
ENOUGH DAMAGE ALREADY?
NOW GET OUT OF HERE!
AND NEVER COME BACK!
WELL, YOU HEARD HER.
LET'S GO.
THIS HAS BEEN
QUITE EDUCATIONAL.
HELLO, FREEDOM.
AAAH!
JUST A MINUTE THERE.
WHAT ABOUT EDDY JUNIOR?
Doll: HA HA HA!
AND ED JUNIOR?
DON'T FORGET
DOUBLE D JUNIOR!
Ed, Edd, and Eddy: AAAAAH!
THAT'S IT!
RUN FOR IT!
[ALL YELLING]
THAT'S IT!
RUN, YOU COWARDS!
GET LOST!
AND DON'T TRIP
ON YOUR SHOELACES.
OH, LOOK AT THEM RUN.
JUST LIKE
A REAL MAN.
[KISS] I THINK
I'M IN L-U-V, LOVE!
OHH...
OHH...
[ALL LAUGHING]
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP
ED, EDD, N' EDDY!
BRRRR! YEAH!
TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP
BRRRR! YEAH!
[CLACK]
[CLACK]
[CLACK]
[CLACK]
[CLACKING]
WHOO-HOO!
[CONTENTED SIGH]
4,820. 4,824.
OOH, I LIKE WHAT YOU'VE DONE
WITH THAT TUNNEL.
4,831. 4,835.
THAT'S EVERYBODY.
4,837.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
HMM?
[DING DONG]
[RAPID RINGING]
HMM.
[DING DONG]
NOW, PLEASE!
[DING DONG]
AAH!
[DING DONG]
HEY, DOUBLE D!
WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?
OH, HELLO, EDDY.
SO WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
HEY, WAS THAT YOU
RINGING MY DOORBELL?
WHO, ME?
NAH.
WAIT, EDDY.
YOU KNOW THE RULES.
AW, COME ON, EDD.
NOT AGAIN.
[GROANS]
ALL RIGHT!
SHEESH!
STUPID SLIPPERS.
AND I'LL DISPOSE
OF THESE.
OK. THE SLIPPERS
ARE ON NOW--
OOOFF!
WE'LL HAVE YOU CLEAN
IN NO TIME, EDDY.
ALMOST DONE.
GEE, THANKS, EDD.
AFTER YOU, EDDY.
YEAH. AFTER ME.
WHA-HA-HOO-HOO!
EDDY!
MESSY, MESSY,
MESSY, MESSY, MESSY.
PLEASE DON'T DO THAT,
EDDY.
HUHH!
EDDY!
AAH! HUH?
PLEASE RETURN
THOSE LABELS
TO THEIR
RIGHTFUL DESIGNATIONS.
ALL RIGHT,
ALL RIGHT!
DON'T HAVE
A BIRD. HEH HEH.
ARE YOU DONE YET?
LET'S GO GET ED!
PLEASE BE PATIENT.
I HAVE JUST
ONE MORE...
YAAH!
IT'S GONE!
EDDY!
SOMEONE TOOK
MY MAGNIFYING GLASS.
I FEEL SO VIOLATED.
MAYBE YOU
MISPLACED IT.
NEVER!
WHAT HAS BECOME
OF THIS WORLD?
IS NOTHING SACRED?
OHH! EVERYTHING IS SOILED!
WHO WOULD DO
SUCH A THING?
WHO WOULD VIOLATE THE SANCTITY
OF SOMEBODY'S ROOM
WITH THEIR
FILTHY HANDS? OH!
OH, EDDY, I FEEL SICK!
I--UHH! I FEEL NAUSEOUS!
I CAN'T BREATHE!
THANK YOU.
I NEEDED THAT.
ANYTIME, PAL.
YOU KNOW, YOU CAN'T
HAVE SOMEBODY
TOUCHING YOUR STUFF.
IT JUST ISN'T RIGHT.
OK! RACE YOU
TO ED'S PLACE!
Eddy: WHOO!
THERE HE IS.
HUH HUH HUH...
OOH!
[EDD MUFFLING YELLS]
SHH.
[WHISPERING]
Quit fooling around.
HEY, EDDY!
WHAT'S UP?
DOGPILE!
HIYA, DOUBLE D.
YOU GUYS MAKE ME LAUGH.
[STOMPING]
WHERE IS SHE?!
WHAT? WHO?
MY DOLLY.
POLLY POO POO,
THAT'S WHO.
[CAT SCREECHES]
I--I NEED MY DOLLY.
BUT, SARAH,
I DIDN'T TOUCH HER.
LIAR!
DON'T YOU LIE TO ME,
YOU DOLLY STEALER!
YOU GOTTA LOVE
THESE FAMILY MOMENTS.
IF YOU DON'T TELL ME
WHERE SHE IS,
I'M GONNA GET
REALLY ANGRY!
[CRASH]
[COUGH COUGH]
UH, ED?
YEAH, EDDY?
AS MUCH AS I REALLY
LOVE THE SMELL
OF YOUR STINKY PITS,
CAN YOU LET GO
OF MY HEAD NOW?
YOU KNOW, SOMEONE HAS
TOUCHED MY STUFF ALSO.
REALLY?
DON'T YOU SEE WHAT'S
GOING ON HERE?
IT'S EPIDEMICAL.
DOUBLE D's
MAGNIFYING GLASS,
SARAH'S DOLL.
OOF!
SOMEONE OR SOMETHING
IS TOUCHING
EVERYBODY'S STUFF.
WE GOTTA
SPREAD THE WORD.
WE HAVE TO WARN EVERYONE
THAT'S THERE'S A--
A SERIAL TOUCHER
ON THE LOOSE.
HOW ARE WE GOING
TO DO THAT, EDDY?
HEY! I KNOW JUST
WHAT TO DO!
HA HA HA HA HA!
ATTENTION, PLEASE!
HEY! BEWARE OF THE TOUCHER!
SERIAL TOUCHER ON THE LOOSE!
HIDE YOUR STUFF!
HIDE YOUR VALUABLES!
OH, NO.
OH, NO.
SERIAL TOUCHER ON THE LOOSE!
THAT DIRTY TOUCHER
TOOK MY DOLLY POO POO!
AAH!
TOUCHER.
IT'S TRUE.
WON'T SOMEBODY HELP US?
[WORRIED CHATTER]
QUIET! QUIET!
EVERYONE JUST RELAX!
WE'VE GOT IT ALL
UNDER CONTROL.
YEAH? WHAT CAN YOU DORKS
DO ABOUT IT?
WELL, WE DORKS
ARE GONNA SOLVE
THIS MYSTERY.
HA! I'D PAY MONEY
TO SEE THAT.
ME, TOO.
Kevin:
YEAH, WE ALL WOULD.
WHAT DO YOU PROPOSE
WE DO NOW?
OK, BOYS.
HERE'S THE LANE, OK?
WE'LL START HERE.
THEN WE'LL CROSS THE STREET
OVER BY THE CORNER STORE...
[ED LAUGHING]
Edd: PLEASE DO NOT MOVE.
THIS IS DELICATE WORK.
HA HA HA HA HA!
Eddy: THERE'S NO WAY
THE TOUCHER CAN RESIST THIS.
PERFECT.
SOMEONE'S COMING.
ED, DON'T MOVE.
AND STOP GIGGLING!
DORK!
DORK?
SHH! ED, SOMEBODY ELSE
IS COMING.
WHAT YA DOING, ED?
OH, ED, I'M LIKIN'
YOUR HAIRCUT.
WHAT'S THAT, PLANK?
YOU WANNA FEEL, TOO?
OK.
ED'S BEEN TOUCHED.
PULL! PULL!
[BELLS AND SIRENS]
AHA! DR. TOUCHER,
I PRESUME?
WHOA! YOU GUYS
ARE WEIRD!
GET HIM!
Eddy: MOVE IT, ED!
Eddy: COME ON!
ED, THIS WAY!
HE'S GETTING AWAY!
FOLLOW ME!
[BAA]
UHH!
UHH!
AAH!
OH...OH...
THEY GOT ME, OLD BUDDY.
BUT YOU--YOU CAN
STILL MAKE IT, PLANK!
RUN!
SAVE YOURSELF.
BE NICE! AWW!
[POLICE RADIO DISPATCH]
HEY, JONNY,
NICE HAIRCUT.
DOUBLE D's GOT
A SURPRISE FOR YOU--
A LIE DETECTOR.
READY.
BETTER WATCH WHAT
YOU SAY, JONNY.
YEAH, JONNY.
HEH HEH HEH HEH.
YOU WOULDN'T LIE TO
YOUR PALS NOW, WOULD YOU?
ED, LIGHT.
ALL RIGHT, JONNY.
ENOUGH FOOLING AROUND.
SO, WHY DON'T
YOU JUST TELL US
WHERE EVERYBODY'S
STUFF IS, HMM?
I DON'T KNOW WHAT
YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!
WHAT'S THE WORD, DOUBLE D?
[SNIFF SNIFF]
INCONCLUSIVE, EDDY.
ARRRGGH!
WELL, IF YOU WON'T TALK,
MAYBE YOUR FRIEND WILL!
YOU MUST BE
THE BRAINS, HUH?
WHERE'S THE STUFF,
PLANKY? FESS UP!
OH...
SILENT, HUH?
AAAAAAGGGH!
SPLINTERS!
AAAH! LEAVE PLANK
ALONE, EDDY!
[DING]
[SNIFF]
AS YOU CAN SEE,
THE BOARD IS LYING.
WELL, PLANKY?
I THINK IT'S TIME
WE TRIED OTHER METHODS.
HUH?
THIS WILL MAKE YOU
SWELL UP GOOD.
AHH! OHH...
OHHH...
[DRIP DRIP DRIP]
[MOANING]
[DRIP DRIP DRIP]
[DRIP DRIP DRIP DRIP]
AAAAAH!
OK! OK! I DID IT!
I TOOK EVERYONE'S STUFF!
NOW LET ME GO!
I GOTTA GO TO THE BATHROOM!
YOU HEARD HIM, BOYS.
CASE CLOSED.
AAH! OOH! EEE! OHH!
AAH! OHH!
[JINGLES]
SO, BOYS,
WHAT'S BIG, ROUND,
COSTS A NICKEL...
JAWBREAKERS!
JAWBREAKERS!
NOW AWAY WE GO!
NOW JUST
A ROTTEN MINUTE.
I FOUND MY DOLLY
UNDER MY BED.
IT'S TRUE.
AND HERE SHE IS,
SEE?
Edd:
EXCUSE ME, EDDY.
AHEM, UPON FURTHER
INSPECTION OF MY PERSON,
I SEEM TO HAVE
COME ACROSS...
MY MAGNIFYING GLASS.
Jonny: HELP!
HEH HEH.
THAT EDDY THINKS
HE'S SO SMART.
WE KNOW YOU DIDN'T
DO IT, JONNY.
[WOOZY]
THANK YOU.
HANG TIGHT, JONNY.
THIS WON'T HURT
A BIT.
THIS IS GOOD.
SHOULD WE FEEL GUILTY
ABOUT JONNY'S PREDICAMENT?
NAH. YOU KNOW
WHAT THEY SAY--
A LITTLE
CHILDHOOD TRAUMA
BUILDS CHARACTER.
[CAR HORN HONKS]
COME ON! WE GOTTA
GET THE JAWBREAKERS!
Edd: NOT SO FAST,
LITTLE FELLA.
I SAW THIS THING
IN A MOVIE,
I MADE A THORAX.
ANTS--CHECK.
MILLIPEDES--CHECK.
MOTHS--
YEAH. IT'S A BUG.
WELL, EDDY,
THE TIME HAS ARRIVED
FOR MY MONTHLY
INSECT EXPEDITION.
A PAIR OF GALOSHES
AND STERILE GLOVES
TO AVOID BACTERIA
AND GERMS.
OH, INSECTS BUG ME.
ED, POUR VOUS.
OK, READY!
CHECK!
[INFLATES]
[CRASH]
SO, LET US PROCEED
TO THE FOREST.
FOLLOW NATURE BOY.
ISN'T IT MAGNIFICENT?
ALL THE SPLENDORS
OF NATURE DISPLAYED
IN ONE GIANT PETRI DISH
FULL OF LIFE!
[GULPS]
I THINK I
SWALLOWED A BUG.
[CRACK]
WH-WHAT WAS THAT?
[WARBLING]
THAT'S IT!
THIS NATURE STUFF
IS FOR THE BIRDS!
WHOA!
EDDY?
EDDY?
WHOA, WAY BIG!
IT'S A MASTERPIECE
OF NATURE.
LOOKS LIKE MY
GRANDMOTHER'S HAIR NET.
WELL,
LET'S GO, GUYS.
ED!
GET DOWN,
YOU MANIAC!
YEE-HA! IT'S STICKY!
YOU'RE DISTURBING
THE ECO-ENVIRONMENT.
[GIRLS LAUGH]
UH, WHAT WAS THAT?
NOW YOU'VE DONE IT.
ED, I SUGGEST--
[LAUGHTER]
[GULPS]
♪ ...EDDY SITTIN' IN A TREE ♪
♪ K-I-S-S-I-N-G ♪
ED! GET OFF
THAT THING!
HUH?
[LAUGHTER]
HELP ME, GUYS!
I DON'T WANT THE FLUIDS
DRAINED FROM MY BODY!
HOLD ON, ED!
WE'LL RESCUE YOU!
[GRUNTS]
♪ ...EDDY SITTIN' IN A TREE ♪
♪ K-I-S-S-I-N-G ♪
[WINGS FLAP, LAUGHTER]
All: AAAAAAAH!
♪ ED, EDD, AND EDDY ♪
♪ SITTIN' IN A TREE ♪
♪ K-I-S-S-I-N-G ♪
♪ ...S-S-I-N-G ♪
♪ K-I-S-S-I-N-G ♪
All: AAAAH!
THERE'S A WAY OUT
THROUGH THE TREES!
[ALL YELLING]
[SPUTTERING]
HELP! QUICKSAND! HELP!
MY EYES!
[LAUGHTER]
All: YAAH!
HEY, ED. SO HAPPY
YOU DROPPED IN.
HOPE YOU LIKE
OUR DAD'S ROBES.
HUH?
HOW DID WE GET
INTO THESE?
[PUCKERING]
EEEEYAAAAH!
[LAUGHING]
THIS IS NOT GOOD.
GO AHEAD, YELL.
NO ONE WILL HEAR YOU.
I'M MAY KANKER.
I'M MARIE KANKER.
AND I'M LEE KANKER.
WE'RE THE KANKER SISTERS.
WE JUST MOVED IN. HEH HEH.
I'M EDDY.
I'M ED.
I'M--
WE KNOW. DOUBLE D.
DON'T YOU WORRY
ABOUT THAT.
UH, DO YOU GIRLS KNOW
WHERE OUR CLOTHES ARE?
OH, THEY'RE DRYING OUTSIDE.
YOU BOYS SURE WERE DIRTY.
HUH?
WE'RE GONNA POP INTO
THE KITCHEN FOR A BIT, BOYS,
AND FIX UP
SOME HOME COOKING FOR YA.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
HEY! WAIT FOR ME!
THIS IS VERY STRANGE.
LET'S GO.
HOLD IT, DOUBLE D.
WHERE'S YOUR MANNERS?
THEY'RE NEW HERE.
AND THEY SAID THEY WERE
GONNA MAKE US SOME FOOD,
DIDN'T THEY?
SO, WHY DON'T WE JUST
HANG OUT FOR A BIT,
EAT FOR FREE,
AND THEN WE CAN SPLIT.
COME ON. LET'S CHECK
THIS PLACE OUT.
WHERE EXACTLY ARE WE?
OH. HUH.
Eddy: LOOKS LIKE A POSTCARD
I SENT MY BROTHER ONCE.
AH, TV!
AW, IT'S A RERUN.
NICE SPACE HELMET.
TAKE ME TO YOUR PLUMBER.
HEH HEH. NICE HEAD, ED.
GET IT? IT RHYMES!
"HEAD", "ED".
I CRACK ME UP.
INTERESTING-- HUBCAP DIGEST.
THIS BOOK HAS NO PRINT.
THESE PAGES ARE BLANK!
HA HA HA! LOOK!
HA HA HA HA!
ARTWORK!
IT'S ED AND MAY!
HOW CUTE!
Edd: IS THAT ME?
WHAT THE--
AAAH!
THAT'S NOT FUNNY!
Marie: OK, BOYS.
COME AND GET SOME NICE, COLD,
DELICIOUS POWDERED MILK.
Ed: THANKS.
Edd: THANK YOU
VERY MUCH.
[COUGH COUGH]
Marie: HOW ABOUT
A VIDEO?
FISHBOWL 2--
A CLASSIC.
All: AH.
IT'S SO NICE TO HAVE
THE BOYS HOME.
[COW MOOS]
HEY! I'M DOING
THE FISH STICKS!
THEN GIVE ME
THE SQUEEZE-IT LOG!
GIRLS, SHUT UP!
WE GOT LUNCH
TO MAKE.
THE WAY TO A MAN'S HEART
IS THROUGH HIS ARTERIES.
AND A LITTLE KANKER
SECRET SAUCE--
KETCHUP!
[TOGETHER]
DINNER'S READY!
[TOGETHER]
AHH...
[TOGETHER]
AHH...
THEY'RE SO DREAMY.
HA HA HA HA HA!
BE BACK IN A MINUTE,
BOYS.
YEAH. WE'RE GONNA GO
AND FRESHEN UP.
All: AHH.
[GRATING]
[BURPS]
[SNAP]
[TOGETHER]
HEE HEE HEE HEE.
WE'RE BACK!
NOTICE ANYTHING NEW,
EDDY?
THE FINEST IN
PROCESSED PRODUCTS.
ONLY THE BEST
FOR YOU.
HEY, HOW ABOUT A REFILL
ON THAT POWDERED MILK STUFF?
DO YOU LIKE
OUR KANKER BURGER,
BIG ED?
EH, IT'S GOOD. YEAH!
DON'T TALK WITH YOUR
MOUTH FULL, MISTER!
EEEEE!
AAH!
PLEASE REFRAIN FROM
TOUCHING ME WHEN I'M EATING.
THANK YOU.
HUMPH!
I'LL TOUCH YOU
WHENEVER I WANT,
BUDDY BOY!
IS THERE A PROBLEM?
[TOGETHER]
EVERYTHING'S FINE!
[BURPING, CHOMPING]
HEY, MOVE IT!
OUT OF THE WAY!
THIS IS
THE BEST PART!
"MOVE IT"?
IT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH
THAT WE'VE WORKED HARD
AND BROKEN OUR BACKS FOR YOU?
HUH?
IF THINGS DON'T CHANGE
AROUND HERE, WE'RE LEAVING!
IT'S TIME YOU
GOOD-FOR-NOTHINGS
STARTED TO PULL
OUR OWN WEIGHT AROUND HERE!
WHAT IS UP
WITH THEM?
CLEAN THIS MESS UP
RIGHT NOW!
Lee: HEY! OVER HERE!
CLEAN THIS MESS!
HEY!
YOU CALL THAT CLEAN?
GET WASHING!
AND SCRUBBING!
COME ALONG,
LITTLE MAN!
TIME TO
CLEAN UP!
AAH!
AH HEH HEH. HEH HEH HEH.
AND YOU!
[ED WHISTLING A TUNE]
MAKE IT SHINE!
ED, YOU'VE RUINED
MY DISHES.
AH HA HA HA!
HEADED OUTSIDE, EDDY.
SLACKER.
THAT BETTER BE FIGHTIN'
OVER ME I HEAR IN THERE!
I'M GOING TO SANITIZE
THE LIVING AREA.
Eddy: OK.
I'LL CLEAN THIS.
I'LL CLEAN EVERYTHING!
[TOGETHER]
BETTER SHINE IT UP NICE.
HEH HEH HEH.
Kankers: HEY, MUD-TRACKER!
YOU'RE TRACKING MUD!
MUD?
HUH?
[HOLLOW BREATHING]
UH-OH.
UHH!
YOU BETTER NOT WRECK
DADDY'S BUCKET.
HANG THESE OUTSIDE.
OK, EDDY!
Lee: YOU SAILORS
ARE ALL ALIKE.
[HOLLOW BREATHING]
YOU SHOULD GO BACK
TO DIVING FOR CLAMS.
THAT'S ENOUGH!
[WHIMPERING]
OK?
[WHIMPERING]
THIS IS THE THANKS
WE GET FOR OUR HARD WORK?
[CRYING]
UH-OH.
US GIRLS HAVE GOTTA
GET OURSELVES TOGETHER.
HAVEN'T YOU DONE
ENOUGH DAMAGE ALREADY?
NOW GET OUT OF HERE!
AND NEVER COME BACK!
WELL, YOU HEARD HER.
LET'S GO.
THIS HAS BEEN
QUITE EDUCATIONAL.
HELLO, FREEDOM.
AAAH!
JUST A MINUTE THERE.
WHAT ABOUT EDDY JUNIOR?
Doll: HA HA HA!
AND ED JUNIOR?
DON'T FORGET
DOUBLE D JUNIOR!
Ed, Edd, and Eddy: AAAAAH!
THAT'S IT!
RUN FOR IT!
[ALL YELLING]
THAT'S IT!
RUN, YOU COWARDS!
GET LOST!
AND DON'T TRIP
ON YOUR SHOELACES.
OH, LOOK AT THEM RUN.
JUST LIKE
A REAL MAN.
[KISS] I THINK
I'M IN L-U-V, LOVE!
OHH...
OHH...
[ALL LAUGHING]
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP
ED, EDD, N' EDDY!
BRRRR! YEAH!