Eastbound & Down (2009–2013): Season 2, Episode 1 - Chapter 7 - full transcript
Kenny Powers heads to Mexico to lick his wounds and start a new, more anonymous life. Befriended by a neighboring Mexican family and a sultry bar singer named Vida, Kenny emerges from "the ...
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[ALL SHOUTING IN SPANISH]
Come on! Yeah.
Hey.
Hey, tres to dos on Big Red!
Tres to dos on Big Red.
Big Red! Big Red!
Big Red!
You ready, motherfucker?
Yeah! Yeah!
Whoo!
[LAUGHING] Yeah.
[CLUCKING]
Kick his fucking ass!
Yeah, kill him!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Whoo! Whoo!
Pay up, motherfucker!
Whoo!
[♪]
KENNY:
You know who I am.
[SPEAKS IN SPANISH]
And you know my reputation.
Sí, señor.
And yet you place
a bet with me,
and you don't have
the fucking money to pay.
I pay you later, carnal.
Steve does not accept
fucking layaway.
If you make a fucking bet
with Steve,
you fucking pay Steve
when his fucking cock wins.
Do we comprehende?
Sí, señor.
Obviously not.
Obviously you don't comprehend.
Fuck him up.
Through his fucking ass up.
Check his pockets, Aaron.
Search every fucking nook
and cranny of that cheapskate.
AARON:
Nada.
I'm gonna cut your fucking dick
and maybe that'll put a fucking
smile on your fucking face.
Maybe. Maybe we will cut
this motherfucker's balls off.
You know what?
I can cut off your titties.
Don't make him cut me, Steve.
AARON:
Titty, titty, bang, bang.
KENNY: He will
titty-titty-bang-bang yo.
He will fucking cut your tits
off right here.
Take him, my donkey.
He's all I have.
[BRAYING]
AARON: Fuck your donkey, bitch.
Yeah, fuck that donkey.
Why would I want that thing?
He... He can carry things,
and you can make money with him.
Paint him like a zebra
and charge gringos.
Charge a who?
The tourists.
Take photos.
Honestly, I can't even believe
you would look at me
and the word "gringo" would even
come to mind.
I think we got a fucking
Mexican racist.
Does it make your life easier
just to throw a quick
racist term at somebody?
A man who has seen
the things I've seen,
experienced the loss and pain
that I've experienced.
Hm, I transcend race, hombre.
You understand,
you motherfucker,
you fucking cocksucker?
MAN: Of course, and
you are no gringo.
KENNY:
Thank you for acknowledging.
A word of advice:
Next time you want
to bet on my cock,
you better bring
some fucking pesos.
Got it, ése?
I got you, Steve.
Gracias.
Gather the jackass and the cock.
We're out of here.
Come on. Hit it.
AARON:
Let's go.
I'll grab the fucking donkey.
[♪]
KENNY:
This is me now.
See you soon.
A man haunted by the sacrifices
he's had to make.
Oh, shit.
[TIRES SCREECH]
MAN: Fucking moron!
A man who ran
and never looked back.
A man who drank his ass
all the way down
to the butthole of America.
Fucking Mexico.
I left my country
to begin a new life,
one where
I could finally blend
with those I was living
amongst,
become just another face
in the crowd.
Soon I was embraced
by the natives.
The wild landscape
became my mistress.
[CLUCKING]
The wild women,
my cum caves.
Soon enough, I felt like
an entirely new person.
But truthfully, sometimes I did
wonder about them.
About how they deal
with the holes, the agonies,
the darknesses that no doubt
fell upon them
when I rode off
into the sunset
and then took that sunset
with me.
Do they even remember
what it's like to have hope?
Did they forget how
to close their eyes and dream?
Did they discover that,
without me,
they may as well
not even exist?
Can anyone get a fucking break
around here?
And although it makes me
kind of sad,
I know that this savage land
was made for me.
It's where outlaws go to die.
And as that day nears,
I take comfort in knowing
that the lives of those I left
behind are better off without...
[CHILD SHOUTING]
[DANCE MUSIC BLARING]
Goddamn it.
[SHOUTING]
Goddamn it.
[MUSIC SHUTS OFF]
How many times do I gotta
tell y'all to keep it down?
Keep your música down.
Y'all out here kicking this
fucking soccer ball around
like you're goddamn Pelé, blasting music.
I'm trying to write.
What kind of book are you writing?
It's a motivational novel about...
For people dealing with grief
and/or depression.
It's honestly
none of your business.
Will you get your brother
off my moped?
How's it going, Steve?
Let me make this clear, Catuey.
If there is one thing in this
world I cannot stand,
it is fucking soccer.
All right?
And I hate when people do it
around me.
Please hop off of my moped.
That's a very expensive vehicle.
[SPEAKING IN SPANISH]
The language barrier, honestly,
is just so fucking frustrating
right now.
[SPEAKING IN SPANISH]
Oh, my God. I knew the barrio
was gonna be fucking annoying,
but I didn't know it was gonna
be so goddamn loud.
And that's why
I'm so frustrated.
Listen, you still have not
taken us up
on our offer for dinner,
my friend.
My wife is a wonderful cook.
We would love to host you.
KENNY: Yeah, looks like she's
cooking seared titty right now.
Man, I feel like this is some
National Geographic shit.
Who the fuck is that?
How many people you got
in there?
That's Maria,
my sister-in-law.
You know what they say
about family?
Family that prays together,
stays together.
Yeah, well, I appreciate
the offer,
but I'm not into bonding
with new people down here.
I got a family. I don't need
the fucked-up version.
Your wife's titty
does look beautiful, though.
And in addition
to all that other stuff,
Kenny Powers
still does not like children.
Chapter Three: Shit to do
in Mexico in the nighttime.
[SNORTING]
[SIGHS]
[♪]
[BOTTLE SHATTERS]
ANNOUNCER [IN SPANISH ON PA]:
[CROWD BOOING]
KENNY:
Disgraceful.
Fucking disgraceful.
Yeah, Charros suck big dicks!
[LAUGHS]
AARON:
This is disgusting.
Isn't it disgusting?
It's fucking gross.
Yeah, it's absolutely gross.
Hey, what's your fucking
problem, man?
Why are you giving me
this freaking look?
He wants to start
a fight, dude.
Shut the fuck up.
What's the...?
What's your problem?
Yeah, you want more?
[LAUGHS]
AARON: Want to drink beer?
I told you, didn't I?
We're gonna get kicked out
of this motherfucker.
[IN SPANISH]
ROGER:
Okay.
There's a lot of fucking trim
walking around.
I don't mind this joint at all.
Neither do I.
You know, and let's talk
fucking business first.
Look at this motherfucker,
always on point,
always wanting
to get down to task. Hm?
This little son of a bitch here
is probably the best sidekick
I've ever had.
He's beating you, Hector.
He is whooping your ass
as a sidekick.
No, not fucking thumbs up.
AARON: He has...
No, boss, he speaks
no freaking English.
Don't you ever
wanna fucking win?
Oh, fuck.
Do you wanna win?
Do you wanna win?
Oh, yeah.
Do you ever wanna jerk off?
[LAUGHS]
[WAITRESS SPEAKING SPANISH]
KENNY: Sí.
And Hector will have
what Aaron's having,
only not as good.
He hast reached that stage yet.
[SPEAKING IN SPANISH]
[PLAYING "NIGHT MOVES"]
[SINGING IN SPANISH]
[SINGER SPEAKS IN SPANISH]
Hey.
[KENNY SPEAKS IN SPANISH]
Hey. Where you been?
Oh, I've been around.
You're not mad, are you?
Why would I be mad at you?
You know, because I got busy
and I didn't immediately
call you back
after I had made sex to you.
Oh, no, no, I didn't expect
anything from you, so...
I felt like I was pretty upfront
with everything.
I told you I was damaged goods
and I wasn't trying
to get close to anybody.
Yeah, you were pretty clear
about that.
Yeah, I mean it's really
for your own protection.
People who get close to me,
well, they tend to get hurt.
So I don't know
what you're getting into
after all this, if you wanna...
Um, I'm...
I'm busy tonight.
Oh, yeah, me too.
I'm working on a book.
I'm a writer. Uh...
You got anything going on,
you know, maybe tomorrow night?
I'm pretty busy tomorrow too.
Busy tomorrow too?
Think I'm starting
to kind of get the picture here.
You like to hit it and quit it,
huh? That's how you roll?
Oh, no, no. I just...
I just thought you were just
like a one-night-stand gringo.
That's... That's it.
Oh, so you just saw me, like,
as a piece of meat?
Well, a good one, but...
I'm just gonna be straight with
you for a second here.
Okay.
I'm new to Mexico
and I'm trying to adjust,
and most things are cool,
but I'm also kind of feeling
a little weird
and fucking empty all the time
and just fucking alone.
I mean, right now I just
would like the comfort
of somebody who seems normal,
and even though you're Mexican,
you seem normal to me.
[MAN SPEAKING IN SPANISH]
[SPEAKING IN SPANISH]
Look at the goddamn sax player
from Lost Boys
trying to rub the language
barrier in my face.
Is this guy giving you
any trouble?
Why, are you looking for some?
No, he's not giving me
any trouble.
He's just a tourist who's lost.
Right?
Sure. A tourist who's lost
who might whip somebody's ass
if they keep trying to isolate
me from conversations.
Peace.
See you.
Yeah. Awesome show.
Thank you.
See you around.
[SIGHS]
[SPEAKING IN SPANISH]
[SPEAKING IN SPANISH]
Hey, come on!
Come on, come on!
Photos!
Photos!
KENNY: Step right up.
AARON: Come to the real zebra.
This is the one.
That motherfucker got AIDS.
You don't want
an AIDS zebra picture.
You want a clean zebra picture.
Yeah!
KENNY:
Look how tight their shit is.
Their presentation
fucking blows ours away.
You're standing here with
a goddamn sign on a Tecate box.
Got Mice and Men here with
a fucking disposable camera.
We got the stupidest fucking
jackass in all of Mexico.
Fuck those guys.
That's a fake zebra.
This is a real safari zebra
from the dark country of Africa.
AARON:
Ten dollars, now.
KENNY:
This is fucking unbelievable.
This is fucking shit.
You know what? Fuck this.
Safe!
Damn it!
Nice game, dick suckers.
ROGER:
Hey, Kenny.
Kenny Powers.
[ZIPPER RASPS]
Hey, you talking to me,
muchacho?
Well, yeah, hey,
I was trying to.
I'm Roger Hernandez,
manager of the Charros.
What are you doing down here?
I think you got
the wrong man, dude.
My name's Steve.
Hey, I... I gotta tell you,
I admit the hair threw me
for a minute.
I was expecting to see
the famous mullet.
Oh, yeah, Kenny Powers does have
famous hair, doesn't he?
Yeah, but this ain't his hair.
This is Steve's hair.
Steve the cockfighter.
Whoa, cockfighter.
Yeah, I'm a fucking cockfighter,
not a ball player.
I've never...
Oh, really?
... been a ball player
ever before.
So you're telling me
you're not Kenny Powers?
Uh-uh.
No, hey, look, it's my fault.
It's stupid of me
to think Kenny Powers
would be living down here.
With the kind of skills
that guy had,
be a shame if he was spending
his time as a cockfighter
and not on a field.
Uh, no...
No offense, Steve.
No offense taken.
For Steve,
this is a pretty awesome life.
He's improved things
quite a bit.
[LAUGHS]
Sorry, just... It just seems
so funny, you know.
I know Kenny Powers
lost his pitch,
but can you imagine if this was
how low he really gotten?
It's not fucking funny at all.
From what I've heard, Kenny
Powers hasn't lost his pitch.
He just got tired of baseball
always butt-fucking him.
Causing him nothing
but pain and sorrow.
Yeah, well, I'm sorry to hear
that Kenny Powers
feels that way.
It's a real shame to let
all that talent go to waste.
Yeah, well, too bad
I'm not Kenny Powers.
[ENGINE STARTS]
[TIRES SCREECH]
Too bad.
Come on, work it, Big Red.
Work it.
There you go.
Good job, buddy.
[CLUCKING]
Shh, shh.
Come on, buddy. Come on.
Doing good, man.
We're gonna fucking whoop
this motherfucker's ass.
You hear me? You hear me?
It's time, boss.
Let's do this.
[♪]
♪ It's bad, you know ♪
♪ When you handle a gun ♪
[CROWD CHEERING]
[CLUCKING]
You have no chance, gringo.
Vaya con Dios,
motherfucker.
Vaya con Dios.
[ALL CHATTERING]
[ALL SHOUTING]
Yeah!
Yeah! Yeah!
[ALL SHOUTING]
[CHEERING]
Oh, fuck you!
Fuck you, motherfucker!
[♪]
Big Red, you were a good cock.
You made us a lot of money.
May you find the peace in death
that you so longed for in life.
I'm sorry about
the way things turned out.
I'm sorry about the way
a lot of things have turned out.
See you in hell, hombre.
Me and Hector, we don't
wanna work with you no more.
What, are you guys
kidding around?
You're serious? I thought
we had a good thing going here.
We're making money hand
over fist. Is this you, Hector?
Are you fucking
poisoning his little mind
just because you and me didn't
make a fucking connection?
No, man. It's me.
I don't fucking like you.
You don't like me?
[KENNY SCOFFS]
Well, you're the one
with the disability.
It should be me not liking you,
yet I accept you.
And you do this to me?
Man, fuck you, you midget.
I'm taking the fucking cocks.
[SWITCHBLADE CLICKS]
Empty your pockets,
you fucking cocksucker.
Oh, I see. This is a fucking
double-cross, huh?
He'll bash my brains
and you'll cut my dick off?
You're gonna steal the cocks
and fucking roll me?
Fine. After I told you
that you were my best sidekick.
Listen, bitch.
I'm nobody's sidekick!
Come, Hector.
We're fucking done here.
I can't believe y'all would
do this at Big Red's funeral
when you know how much
he means to me.
Fuck you, and fuck Big Red!
You're a cold motherfucker,
Aaron.
Go home, you fucking gringo.
You don't fucking belong here.
[♪]
[CAR DOOR SLAMS]
[VEHICLE DRIVES AWAY]
[CATUEY SHOUTING IN SPANISH]
[ROARS]
[LAUGHS]
♪ I came to walk on this
Boulevard of love ♪
♪ Don't care where
We're going ♪
[ALL SPEAKING IN SPANISH]
KENNY:
Hey, what's up?
Wondering if y'all
had room one mas more.
Of course, my friend.
Pasale, please. Come in.
[CATUEY SPEAKING IN SPANISH]
Gracias.
Shall we say grace?
[SPEAKING IN SPANISH]
CATUEY:
Amen.
Gracias, Dios.
ALL:
Gracias, Dios.
[ALL PRAYING IN SPANISH]
CATUEY: Amen.
ALL: Amen.
And thank you, Lord,
for letting Steve
join us for dinner. Amen.
ALL:
Amen.
[SPEAKS IN SPANISH]
That was a really nice prayer,
Catuey.
Thank you.
But I ink I should
confess something to you.
Steve is not really who I am.
Who are you?
KENNY:
In Mexico,
a man could truly get lost.
And if you're a bank robber,
or maybe somebody
who's committed a fucked-up
crazy crime,
then that's a good thing.
But hiding takes its toll.
At first you don't realize it,
but soon the identity
that you tried to shed
starts getting pissed
and knocking at your insides.
You know, when dealing with
deep depression and sad shit,
it's cool to pretend
like nothing is wrong.
That sometimes works,
but eventually
you gotta call a goddamn
spade a spade and be like:
"Yo, I'm fucked up
and I gotta make a change."
[♪]
Sometimes you gotta
wash away the paint
and reveal to the world the
jackass that is hiding beneath.
[♪]
Sometimes you just gotta
get back in the fucking game.
[MEN SPEAKING IN SPANISH]
What the fuck is going on?
KENNY:
Coach's staff, everyone,
come forward to me, please.
Vamanos, muchachos.
Pull it in.
Hey, Steve, what are you doing?
You're interrupting practice.
Well, practice doesn't seem
to be working.
Come on, motherfuckers,
get in here.
I got a little announcement.
I know a lot of you guys
have seen me around town, going:
"Hey, there's Steve,
the new guy,
running shit,
the cockfighter."
Well, I have a confession
to make.
My name's not Steve,
and I'm not a cockfighter.
I'm a ball player,
and not just any ball player.
I'm Kenny fucking Powers.
And I reveal myself to you
all here, upon this field.
Behold!
It's my rookie card.
That's me on the front.
Y'all wanna just pass this
around so you can just see it?
I'm gonna need
to get it back though.
You know, I see the look
on your faces.
You're thinking, "Hey, Kenny,
you're from America.
"You probably have a printer.
"You could have just
gone on the Internet
and printed that bitch."
Yeah, you know what?
I could have.
Except for one fact:
I don't own a printer,
and I fucking hate computers,
all kinds.
I come here today, not just
to bash on fucking technology,
but to offer you all
a proposition.
Let's face it,
y'all fucking suck.
Don't get your feelings hurt.
Don't get sensitive on me here.
I fucking suck too right now.
I am in the darkest
Third World hole
I've ever been in
in my entire life.
About a thousand hundred million
miles from where I should be.
And the only way for me
to get back there
is for us to join forces.
If we can make enough noise
down here,
then just maybe everyone
in America will hear us.
Everyone will.
And they will all know
that Kenny Powers is, in fact,
the Christ figure
that they perceive me to be.
So if you all
don't believe my words,
then perhaps
you will believe this.
Anyone have a ball?
Can I get an el ballo?
Right there.
Whoo! Okay. Got it.
Behold this, boys.
Try and fucking doubt this,
all right?
[♪]
If this was America,
you'd have a radar gun,
and right now
it would read 101.
When's the next game, coach?
Friday.
KENNY: See you dumb
motherfuckers there.
Where's the baseball card?
It's worth 5 bucks.
Take that with me.
Trying to pocket it.
Keep my fucking eye on you.
All right, don't forget,
my number's 55.
[IN SPANISH]
KENNY:
Whoo! Whoo!
Fifty-five!
See you motherfuckers Friday.
KENNY: You got Kenny Powers
up in this motherfucker now!
KENNY:
Whoo!
Hey, hey, fuck you!
PLAYER:
Fuck you, too, cabron.
ROGER:
[♪]
[MAN SINGING IN SPANISH]
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[ALL SHOUTING IN SPANISH]
Come on! Yeah.
Hey.
Hey, tres to dos on Big Red!
Tres to dos on Big Red.
Big Red! Big Red!
Big Red!
You ready, motherfucker?
Yeah! Yeah!
Whoo!
[LAUGHING] Yeah.
[CLUCKING]
Kick his fucking ass!
Yeah, kill him!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Whoo! Whoo!
Pay up, motherfucker!
Whoo!
[♪]
KENNY:
You know who I am.
[SPEAKS IN SPANISH]
And you know my reputation.
Sí, señor.
And yet you place
a bet with me,
and you don't have
the fucking money to pay.
I pay you later, carnal.
Steve does not accept
fucking layaway.
If you make a fucking bet
with Steve,
you fucking pay Steve
when his fucking cock wins.
Do we comprehende?
Sí, señor.
Obviously not.
Obviously you don't comprehend.
Fuck him up.
Through his fucking ass up.
Check his pockets, Aaron.
Search every fucking nook
and cranny of that cheapskate.
AARON:
Nada.
I'm gonna cut your fucking dick
and maybe that'll put a fucking
smile on your fucking face.
Maybe. Maybe we will cut
this motherfucker's balls off.
You know what?
I can cut off your titties.
Don't make him cut me, Steve.
AARON:
Titty, titty, bang, bang.
KENNY: He will
titty-titty-bang-bang yo.
He will fucking cut your tits
off right here.
Take him, my donkey.
He's all I have.
[BRAYING]
AARON: Fuck your donkey, bitch.
Yeah, fuck that donkey.
Why would I want that thing?
He... He can carry things,
and you can make money with him.
Paint him like a zebra
and charge gringos.
Charge a who?
The tourists.
Take photos.
Honestly, I can't even believe
you would look at me
and the word "gringo" would even
come to mind.
I think we got a fucking
Mexican racist.
Does it make your life easier
just to throw a quick
racist term at somebody?
A man who has seen
the things I've seen,
experienced the loss and pain
that I've experienced.
Hm, I transcend race, hombre.
You understand,
you motherfucker,
you fucking cocksucker?
MAN: Of course, and
you are no gringo.
KENNY:
Thank you for acknowledging.
A word of advice:
Next time you want
to bet on my cock,
you better bring
some fucking pesos.
Got it, ése?
I got you, Steve.
Gracias.
Gather the jackass and the cock.
We're out of here.
Come on. Hit it.
AARON:
Let's go.
I'll grab the fucking donkey.
[♪]
KENNY:
This is me now.
See you soon.
A man haunted by the sacrifices
he's had to make.
Oh, shit.
[TIRES SCREECH]
MAN: Fucking moron!
A man who ran
and never looked back.
A man who drank his ass
all the way down
to the butthole of America.
Fucking Mexico.
I left my country
to begin a new life,
one where
I could finally blend
with those I was living
amongst,
become just another face
in the crowd.
Soon I was embraced
by the natives.
The wild landscape
became my mistress.
[CLUCKING]
The wild women,
my cum caves.
Soon enough, I felt like
an entirely new person.
But truthfully, sometimes I did
wonder about them.
About how they deal
with the holes, the agonies,
the darknesses that no doubt
fell upon them
when I rode off
into the sunset
and then took that sunset
with me.
Do they even remember
what it's like to have hope?
Did they forget how
to close their eyes and dream?
Did they discover that,
without me,
they may as well
not even exist?
Can anyone get a fucking break
around here?
And although it makes me
kind of sad,
I know that this savage land
was made for me.
It's where outlaws go to die.
And as that day nears,
I take comfort in knowing
that the lives of those I left
behind are better off without...
[CHILD SHOUTING]
[DANCE MUSIC BLARING]
Goddamn it.
[SHOUTING]
Goddamn it.
[MUSIC SHUTS OFF]
How many times do I gotta
tell y'all to keep it down?
Keep your música down.
Y'all out here kicking this
fucking soccer ball around
like you're goddamn Pelé, blasting music.
I'm trying to write.
What kind of book are you writing?
It's a motivational novel about...
For people dealing with grief
and/or depression.
It's honestly
none of your business.
Will you get your brother
off my moped?
How's it going, Steve?
Let me make this clear, Catuey.
If there is one thing in this
world I cannot stand,
it is fucking soccer.
All right?
And I hate when people do it
around me.
Please hop off of my moped.
That's a very expensive vehicle.
[SPEAKING IN SPANISH]
The language barrier, honestly,
is just so fucking frustrating
right now.
[SPEAKING IN SPANISH]
Oh, my God. I knew the barrio
was gonna be fucking annoying,
but I didn't know it was gonna
be so goddamn loud.
And that's why
I'm so frustrated.
Listen, you still have not
taken us up
on our offer for dinner,
my friend.
My wife is a wonderful cook.
We would love to host you.
KENNY: Yeah, looks like she's
cooking seared titty right now.
Man, I feel like this is some
National Geographic shit.
Who the fuck is that?
How many people you got
in there?
That's Maria,
my sister-in-law.
You know what they say
about family?
Family that prays together,
stays together.
Yeah, well, I appreciate
the offer,
but I'm not into bonding
with new people down here.
I got a family. I don't need
the fucked-up version.
Your wife's titty
does look beautiful, though.
And in addition
to all that other stuff,
Kenny Powers
still does not like children.
Chapter Three: Shit to do
in Mexico in the nighttime.
[SNORTING]
[SIGHS]
[♪]
[BOTTLE SHATTERS]
ANNOUNCER [IN SPANISH ON PA]:
[CROWD BOOING]
KENNY:
Disgraceful.
Fucking disgraceful.
Yeah, Charros suck big dicks!
[LAUGHS]
AARON:
This is disgusting.
Isn't it disgusting?
It's fucking gross.
Yeah, it's absolutely gross.
Hey, what's your fucking
problem, man?
Why are you giving me
this freaking look?
He wants to start
a fight, dude.
Shut the fuck up.
What's the...?
What's your problem?
Yeah, you want more?
[LAUGHS]
AARON: Want to drink beer?
I told you, didn't I?
We're gonna get kicked out
of this motherfucker.
[IN SPANISH]
ROGER:
Okay.
There's a lot of fucking trim
walking around.
I don't mind this joint at all.
Neither do I.
You know, and let's talk
fucking business first.
Look at this motherfucker,
always on point,
always wanting
to get down to task. Hm?
This little son of a bitch here
is probably the best sidekick
I've ever had.
He's beating you, Hector.
He is whooping your ass
as a sidekick.
No, not fucking thumbs up.
AARON: He has...
No, boss, he speaks
no freaking English.
Don't you ever
wanna fucking win?
Oh, fuck.
Do you wanna win?
Do you wanna win?
Oh, yeah.
Do you ever wanna jerk off?
[LAUGHS]
[WAITRESS SPEAKING SPANISH]
KENNY: Sí.
And Hector will have
what Aaron's having,
only not as good.
He hast reached that stage yet.
[SPEAKING IN SPANISH]
[PLAYING "NIGHT MOVES"]
[SINGING IN SPANISH]
[SINGER SPEAKS IN SPANISH]
Hey.
[KENNY SPEAKS IN SPANISH]
Hey. Where you been?
Oh, I've been around.
You're not mad, are you?
Why would I be mad at you?
You know, because I got busy
and I didn't immediately
call you back
after I had made sex to you.
Oh, no, no, I didn't expect
anything from you, so...
I felt like I was pretty upfront
with everything.
I told you I was damaged goods
and I wasn't trying
to get close to anybody.
Yeah, you were pretty clear
about that.
Yeah, I mean it's really
for your own protection.
People who get close to me,
well, they tend to get hurt.
So I don't know
what you're getting into
after all this, if you wanna...
Um, I'm...
I'm busy tonight.
Oh, yeah, me too.
I'm working on a book.
I'm a writer. Uh...
You got anything going on,
you know, maybe tomorrow night?
I'm pretty busy tomorrow too.
Busy tomorrow too?
Think I'm starting
to kind of get the picture here.
You like to hit it and quit it,
huh? That's how you roll?
Oh, no, no. I just...
I just thought you were just
like a one-night-stand gringo.
That's... That's it.
Oh, so you just saw me, like,
as a piece of meat?
Well, a good one, but...
I'm just gonna be straight with
you for a second here.
Okay.
I'm new to Mexico
and I'm trying to adjust,
and most things are cool,
but I'm also kind of feeling
a little weird
and fucking empty all the time
and just fucking alone.
I mean, right now I just
would like the comfort
of somebody who seems normal,
and even though you're Mexican,
you seem normal to me.
[MAN SPEAKING IN SPANISH]
[SPEAKING IN SPANISH]
Look at the goddamn sax player
from Lost Boys
trying to rub the language
barrier in my face.
Is this guy giving you
any trouble?
Why, are you looking for some?
No, he's not giving me
any trouble.
He's just a tourist who's lost.
Right?
Sure. A tourist who's lost
who might whip somebody's ass
if they keep trying to isolate
me from conversations.
Peace.
See you.
Yeah. Awesome show.
Thank you.
See you around.
[SIGHS]
[SPEAKING IN SPANISH]
[SPEAKING IN SPANISH]
Hey, come on!
Come on, come on!
Photos!
Photos!
KENNY: Step right up.
AARON: Come to the real zebra.
This is the one.
That motherfucker got AIDS.
You don't want
an AIDS zebra picture.
You want a clean zebra picture.
Yeah!
KENNY:
Look how tight their shit is.
Their presentation
fucking blows ours away.
You're standing here with
a goddamn sign on a Tecate box.
Got Mice and Men here with
a fucking disposable camera.
We got the stupidest fucking
jackass in all of Mexico.
Fuck those guys.
That's a fake zebra.
This is a real safari zebra
from the dark country of Africa.
AARON:
Ten dollars, now.
KENNY:
This is fucking unbelievable.
This is fucking shit.
You know what? Fuck this.
Safe!
Damn it!
Nice game, dick suckers.
ROGER:
Hey, Kenny.
Kenny Powers.
[ZIPPER RASPS]
Hey, you talking to me,
muchacho?
Well, yeah, hey,
I was trying to.
I'm Roger Hernandez,
manager of the Charros.
What are you doing down here?
I think you got
the wrong man, dude.
My name's Steve.
Hey, I... I gotta tell you,
I admit the hair threw me
for a minute.
I was expecting to see
the famous mullet.
Oh, yeah, Kenny Powers does have
famous hair, doesn't he?
Yeah, but this ain't his hair.
This is Steve's hair.
Steve the cockfighter.
Whoa, cockfighter.
Yeah, I'm a fucking cockfighter,
not a ball player.
I've never...
Oh, really?
... been a ball player
ever before.
So you're telling me
you're not Kenny Powers?
Uh-uh.
No, hey, look, it's my fault.
It's stupid of me
to think Kenny Powers
would be living down here.
With the kind of skills
that guy had,
be a shame if he was spending
his time as a cockfighter
and not on a field.
Uh, no...
No offense, Steve.
No offense taken.
For Steve,
this is a pretty awesome life.
He's improved things
quite a bit.
[LAUGHS]
Sorry, just... It just seems
so funny, you know.
I know Kenny Powers
lost his pitch,
but can you imagine if this was
how low he really gotten?
It's not fucking funny at all.
From what I've heard, Kenny
Powers hasn't lost his pitch.
He just got tired of baseball
always butt-fucking him.
Causing him nothing
but pain and sorrow.
Yeah, well, I'm sorry to hear
that Kenny Powers
feels that way.
It's a real shame to let
all that talent go to waste.
Yeah, well, too bad
I'm not Kenny Powers.
[ENGINE STARTS]
[TIRES SCREECH]
Too bad.
Come on, work it, Big Red.
Work it.
There you go.
Good job, buddy.
[CLUCKING]
Shh, shh.
Come on, buddy. Come on.
Doing good, man.
We're gonna fucking whoop
this motherfucker's ass.
You hear me? You hear me?
It's time, boss.
Let's do this.
[♪]
♪ It's bad, you know ♪
♪ When you handle a gun ♪
[CROWD CHEERING]
[CLUCKING]
You have no chance, gringo.
Vaya con Dios,
motherfucker.
Vaya con Dios.
[ALL CHATTERING]
[ALL SHOUTING]
Yeah!
Yeah! Yeah!
[ALL SHOUTING]
[CHEERING]
Oh, fuck you!
Fuck you, motherfucker!
[♪]
Big Red, you were a good cock.
You made us a lot of money.
May you find the peace in death
that you so longed for in life.
I'm sorry about
the way things turned out.
I'm sorry about the way
a lot of things have turned out.
See you in hell, hombre.
Me and Hector, we don't
wanna work with you no more.
What, are you guys
kidding around?
You're serious? I thought
we had a good thing going here.
We're making money hand
over fist. Is this you, Hector?
Are you fucking
poisoning his little mind
just because you and me didn't
make a fucking connection?
No, man. It's me.
I don't fucking like you.
You don't like me?
[KENNY SCOFFS]
Well, you're the one
with the disability.
It should be me not liking you,
yet I accept you.
And you do this to me?
Man, fuck you, you midget.
I'm taking the fucking cocks.
[SWITCHBLADE CLICKS]
Empty your pockets,
you fucking cocksucker.
Oh, I see. This is a fucking
double-cross, huh?
He'll bash my brains
and you'll cut my dick off?
You're gonna steal the cocks
and fucking roll me?
Fine. After I told you
that you were my best sidekick.
Listen, bitch.
I'm nobody's sidekick!
Come, Hector.
We're fucking done here.
I can't believe y'all would
do this at Big Red's funeral
when you know how much
he means to me.
Fuck you, and fuck Big Red!
You're a cold motherfucker,
Aaron.
Go home, you fucking gringo.
You don't fucking belong here.
[♪]
[CAR DOOR SLAMS]
[VEHICLE DRIVES AWAY]
[CATUEY SHOUTING IN SPANISH]
[ROARS]
[LAUGHS]
♪ I came to walk on this
Boulevard of love ♪
♪ Don't care where
We're going ♪
[ALL SPEAKING IN SPANISH]
KENNY:
Hey, what's up?
Wondering if y'all
had room one mas more.
Of course, my friend.
Pasale, please. Come in.
[CATUEY SPEAKING IN SPANISH]
Gracias.
Shall we say grace?
[SPEAKING IN SPANISH]
CATUEY:
Amen.
Gracias, Dios.
ALL:
Gracias, Dios.
[ALL PRAYING IN SPANISH]
CATUEY: Amen.
ALL: Amen.
And thank you, Lord,
for letting Steve
join us for dinner. Amen.
ALL:
Amen.
[SPEAKS IN SPANISH]
That was a really nice prayer,
Catuey.
Thank you.
But I ink I should
confess something to you.
Steve is not really who I am.
Who are you?
KENNY:
In Mexico,
a man could truly get lost.
And if you're a bank robber,
or maybe somebody
who's committed a fucked-up
crazy crime,
then that's a good thing.
But hiding takes its toll.
At first you don't realize it,
but soon the identity
that you tried to shed
starts getting pissed
and knocking at your insides.
You know, when dealing with
deep depression and sad shit,
it's cool to pretend
like nothing is wrong.
That sometimes works,
but eventually
you gotta call a goddamn
spade a spade and be like:
"Yo, I'm fucked up
and I gotta make a change."
[♪]
Sometimes you gotta
wash away the paint
and reveal to the world the
jackass that is hiding beneath.
[♪]
Sometimes you just gotta
get back in the fucking game.
[MEN SPEAKING IN SPANISH]
What the fuck is going on?
KENNY:
Coach's staff, everyone,
come forward to me, please.
Vamanos, muchachos.
Pull it in.
Hey, Steve, what are you doing?
You're interrupting practice.
Well, practice doesn't seem
to be working.
Come on, motherfuckers,
get in here.
I got a little announcement.
I know a lot of you guys
have seen me around town, going:
"Hey, there's Steve,
the new guy,
running shit,
the cockfighter."
Well, I have a confession
to make.
My name's not Steve,
and I'm not a cockfighter.
I'm a ball player,
and not just any ball player.
I'm Kenny fucking Powers.
And I reveal myself to you
all here, upon this field.
Behold!
It's my rookie card.
That's me on the front.
Y'all wanna just pass this
around so you can just see it?
I'm gonna need
to get it back though.
You know, I see the look
on your faces.
You're thinking, "Hey, Kenny,
you're from America.
"You probably have a printer.
"You could have just
gone on the Internet
and printed that bitch."
Yeah, you know what?
I could have.
Except for one fact:
I don't own a printer,
and I fucking hate computers,
all kinds.
I come here today, not just
to bash on fucking technology,
but to offer you all
a proposition.
Let's face it,
y'all fucking suck.
Don't get your feelings hurt.
Don't get sensitive on me here.
I fucking suck too right now.
I am in the darkest
Third World hole
I've ever been in
in my entire life.
About a thousand hundred million
miles from where I should be.
And the only way for me
to get back there
is for us to join forces.
If we can make enough noise
down here,
then just maybe everyone
in America will hear us.
Everyone will.
And they will all know
that Kenny Powers is, in fact,
the Christ figure
that they perceive me to be.
So if you all
don't believe my words,
then perhaps
you will believe this.
Anyone have a ball?
Can I get an el ballo?
Right there.
Whoo! Okay. Got it.
Behold this, boys.
Try and fucking doubt this,
all right?
[♪]
If this was America,
you'd have a radar gun,
and right now
it would read 101.
When's the next game, coach?
Friday.
KENNY: See you dumb
motherfuckers there.
Where's the baseball card?
It's worth 5 bucks.
Take that with me.
Trying to pocket it.
Keep my fucking eye on you.
All right, don't forget,
my number's 55.
[IN SPANISH]
KENNY:
Whoo! Whoo!
Fifty-five!
See you motherfuckers Friday.
KENNY: You got Kenny Powers
up in this motherfucker now!
KENNY:
Whoo!
Hey, hey, fuck you!
PLAYER:
Fuck you, too, cabron.
ROGER:
[♪]
[MAN SINGING IN SPANISH]
Sync by Parasight
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