EastEnders (1985–…): Season 1, Episode 6323 - Episode #1.6323 - full transcript

Will Chelsea call time on her relationship with Gray? Or will the lure of his money make her stay with him.

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You know what Mum
and Auntie Kim are like, Gray.

One bottle turns into five.
I had to stay over.

Didn't want to wake the kids, did I?

Look, I'm just getting up.
I'll see you later, yeah?


Walk of shame normally has
a bit more shame to it.

I think I dropped my keys in here
last night, so just save the jokes

for open mic night
and open the door, yeah? Heads up.

See, I warned you, didn't I?
And now look.

Do you know what?

The nose ring and the vamp look
don't scream innocent to me, babe.

You know how modern relationships
work. So does Gray.

I'm a free spirit.

Yeah, cos hiding behind a bin
screams free spirit, doesn't it?

I've seen you, Keegan's seen you.

Do you really think that Gray
won't find out eventually?

Secrets never stay secret
for long round here.

Maybe it was the curry
we had last night,

why your stomach's so sore.
It wasn't the curry, Martin. No.

You're just feeling a bit bashed
up from the op, babe, that's all.

Yeah. You'll be fine, I promise.

Are you sure you don't want me
to come with you today? Yeah.

No, I'm fine. You're right,
it's just pain from the op.

Right, what are we having? What do
you fancy? Nothing, I'm not hungry.

What? You must be, it's breakfast.

You need to set yourself up
for the day. Are you deaf? Oi!

I said I'm not hungry
so I'm not hungry, all right?

Just leave me alone. Lily! She got
a letter from Stacey this morning.

Just let me know
how it goes, yeah?


Jean, what you got for dinner,
rotting teeth?

No, they're not for me.
They're for Sean.

I'm going down
to stay with him for a bit.

You never said. When are you going?

Oh, I could've sworn
I had £5 in there.

Um, could you change a 50?

Blimey, Jean, what are you doing,
printing them off yourself?

No, course not.
Who do you think I am?

I think you're a woman
with a wedge of 50s in your purse.

Now where did you get them? And
don't lie cos you're not good at it.

Well... Ruby.

Ruby's giving you money? I'm giving
it back to her. It's pity money.

For what happened to Stacey.
It's not pity money, Jean.

It's blood money. What?

Pity money is a bunch of flowers
and a cheap bottle of wine.

That's guilty conscience money.

No, she knows she shouldn't have
called the police on Stacey.

She did everything she could
to get them to drop the charges.

Oh. And you believe that, do you?

Fingers crossed,
if we can get enough support,

we can turn this place into a mosque
for the community. So, if you can,

spread the word, yeah? Thank you.

Come on, lover boy, less texting,
more touting, please.

Sorry, sorry, I just....

Dana's Dad found out
about prison and that.

And you're smiling because...?
Dana's just text me,

saying she had it out with him
and...well, he's going to drop it.

She stood up for me, Iqra.
I don't have to lie any more. Good.

You all right? Where you been?

Thought I'd offer Damon some food
while he looks around the place.

Don't want him judging us
on our hosting, too, do we?

Remember he wants to sit down with
both of us before the meeting, yeah?

Yes, I know. You've only told me,
like, 100 times.

I'm just reminding you.
We need to look like a proper unit.

We are a proper unit, babe.
Look, Kioni belongs with you and me.

Your mum's pleaded guilty
and after that hearing today,

she's coming home with us.

Hiya! We're looking for support
for a new place of worship.

Another one? You can't move for
churches and mosques round here.

I'd take a curry
over the Koran, darling.

No offence.
Goes for the crucifix, too.

Yeah, but... But nothing.

If there was a man up there,
he'd pay debts, son.

And if he did, there'd be
a lot less scumbags knocking around.

Karen, I'm working. Don't worry.
It won't take long.

Where is she? She's hungover.

So let's save her another headache,
shall we?

All I've ever done in this world
is take care of my family.

I adore them kids and you're
their dad, so you're my family.

I was just looking out for you.

Maybe locking your girlfriend
in the laundrette

was taking it a step too far, eh?
I'm sorry.

Look, if you think this girl's
heart's in the right place,

if you think she's the one for you
and she feels the same,

then...I trust your judgment.

My Chantelle wouldn't have wanted us
to fall out.

Them kids,
they deserve a happy daddy.

And if she makes you happy,
then...I wish you luck.

I just hope you don't need it.

There's me angry,
thinking that this is charity money.

It's blood money, isn't it?

What are you on about?

There's something
you're not telling me, Ruby.

Now, if you care for me
as much as you say you do,

you'll tell me
what that something is.

Right now.

Jean, I just want to do
right by you.

But I can't, can I?

Because that...

..that's all I've got.

Just like Dad.

All I can do is throw money around
because that's all I'm good for.

You know
that's why we're here, right?

Because Dad paid Stacey
to be my friend.

He thought he was doing the right
thing and look where it got us.

Look where it's got me.

I'm sat here in pain,
waiting to go to the hospital

for them to tell me something
I already know and that's...

..that's that I've got what
I deserve.


How long have you been in pain?

It's nothing
compared to the endometriosis.

I'm fine. At least tell me
that Martin's going with you? No.

No, I'm going on my own.

But I'm not going anywhere
until you take that money, Jean.

Just please let me do something.

Just something,
the only way I know how. Please!

I'm going to the coast
for a long overdue stay with my son,

so you can pay for the train
ticket, but that's it.

Yeah, but... No buts.

Except yours,
down that hospital now.

That stays, we go.

You deserve some good news today.
Let's go and get some. Yeah?

Lou, Lou, calm down. I'll be over
there as soon as I can, all right?

You can moan to me in person.
All right, speak soon.

What you got there? Euros.

Lisa's had a car crash.
Broken her leg. Blimey.

Yeah, the geezer who smashed
into her is some local drunk

from the village, apparently,
and, well, Lou's going mental,

I've got to get over there before

World War III breaks out.


What are you doing out here?
You all right? Not really.

It's the school-mums' WhatsApp
group, they're going mad.

What are they moaning about now?

They'd chew the hind legs
off a donkey, that lot.

The boys have been sharing stuff.
Dodgy stuff.

Wacky baccy?
Course not. I hope not.

No, they've been sharing, um, films.

Adult films. Dirty videos?

Stick a lolly in your mouth
and you could be a Cockney Kojak.

Yes, Phil. I'll have a word
with him, if you like.

No, leave it out. We're still
working on the birds and bees.

I'll talk to him. Leave it to me.
Listen, I've been thinking...

Careful. Always gets you
into trouble. Well, you know,

I want you to keep an eye on the
place while I'm over there with Lou.

You've got a set of keys and
I thought you might as well

move your toothbrush in for a bit,
mightn't you?

Are you asking me
to move in, Mitchell?

Do you want to keep an eye
on the place or not?

Cos I've got a bag to pack. Yeah.




Let me guess. Man trouble.

I don't have trouble with men.
They're like a moth to a flame.

I'm bored, he's hooked.
That's my trouble.

You're not going to chuck that
dishy lawyer, are you?

Even if he is boring,
he's handsome and rich.

If you ask me,
you're being a bit greedy.

Well, I didn't ask you, did I?

It's an open relationship
that's run its course, that's all.

We'll see how it goes.
Open relationship?

Is that his idea or yours? Mine.

Good girl.

If you've got it, flaunt it. I
should've, now the well's dried up.

Well, I wouldn't waste my time
if I were you.

Waste her time? Look at her.

She's got all the time in the world

and a bum you could bounce
a pound coin off.

Rinse him for all he's got
and enjoy your youth, girl.

It don't last forever.
Right, Sharon?

Do you want to know what I think?
Not really.

But you're going to tell me
anyway, right?

I think open relationships
are like a sniffer dog with a cold.

They don't work.

But clearly you don't want to be
in the relationship anyway, do you?

I'd rip that plaster off
before someone gets hurt.

I could've hit a main artery there.
All for a Long Island Iced Tea.

See, people never talk about
barmen and chefs

when it comes to dangerous jobs,
do they? Yeah.

What's the matter with you? Oh, no,
nothing, mate, nothing at all.

I'm just busy doing your job
for you, that's all, sick-note.

Come off it. You've had a face
like thunder the whole day.

Either cheer up or go home, eh?
I'm in enough pain as it is.

All right. Um, look,

the thing is - Ruby, she's got
her follow up appointment today

and, um, she don't want me
there with her.

I don't blame her.

Cos when I am there,

all I do is just nod and try and say
the right thing.

That's all I can do, ain't it?

I can't actually help, can I?

I'm just sat there.

And now she don't even want me
to do that.

If this op goes well,
she's going to be needing your help

whether she likes it or not, mate.

Look, women try to test us.

I reckon she'll have the hump
if you don't go down there.

So just go down, sit there. Nod.
Try and say the right things.

You never know, mate, you might be
more help than you think.

A bit of eye contact
wouldn't kill you, would it?

Anybody would think I'm handing out
slaps not flyers.

Hey, Was! Where's Imran?
He's sick as a dog, bruv.

But don't fear, Was is here.
This is Waseem, Imran's brother.

That's right. Who are you, babes?

I'm gay.

Fair enough. Im's filled me in.
I can shift ice to the Eskimos

so selling a mosque to East London
is going to be light work.

Hold up.

You want to put it here?

Yeah. Is that a problem?
Nah, course not, babe.

Bar the fact there'd be a gay bar
on its doorstep.

Is this a joke or what?

There you are!

Sorry. I just needed a think.
I've got a surprise for you.

That's our hotel.

Five-star luxury,
right on the beach.

Swimming pool, spa, sauna.

I've booked it for me and you.

I feel like I've been pushed in
100 different directions recently.

But you've been my rock.

You've...kept me sane.

Now that you've got the tag off,

I want to show you how much
you mean to me.

What do you think?

I just need to speak with my
consultant. Try not to worry, OK?

I told you something's not right.
I knew it. You don't know anything.

She hasn't said anything yet.
No, but she didn't need to.

You saw her face. This was always
going to happen. Ruby, look at me.

Look at me. Calm down.
It's all going to be OK.

Jean, I've read about this retreat
in California and, um,

they found a new treatment
that they're doing trials for.

Well, let's wait and see, eh?

You might not need them
if the op went well...

No, not for me. For you. For you.

The train ticket's not enough.
I need to get you a plane ticket.

I need you to take that money
and I need you to go to California

and go to this retreat. I need to
help you, Jean. Let's at least try!

Ruby, you are not your dad.

You don't need to throw money around
to prove that you're a good person.

It'll be OK.

Stop worrying about me.

Now, I think we could both do
with a nice sweet cup of tea, eh?

Look I'm all for LGB
and all them letters, yeah?

But it ain't me
you've got to worry about, is it?

Right, so who should I worry about?

Do you really think you're the first
bigot I've met? Iqra, I know him.

He doesn't mean anything by it...
He's attacking who I am, Bobby.

I ain't attacking no-one. I'm just
saying, think about it, yeah?

All them old boys rolling out
after Friday prayers

and there's blokes
dancing to George Michael,

rainbow flags and cocktails on tap.

It ain't going to happen, is it?

Listen, no-one gets to judge me
and who I am. Not you, not anybody.

I am a gay Muslim and I'm proud.

And if you can't get that
into your thick head - this...

..this is happening.

And if you ever disrespect
who I am again, we're going to have

a bit of a problem, you get me?

Well, you certainly take the happy
out of happy hour.

What's with the face, kitty-kat?
Phil been nicked again? No. Worse.

I just had to give Tommy a lecture
on the danger of online porn. Oh.

He was gone faster than
a toupee in a hurricane.

Phil did offer to talk to him
and I should've let him.

I know blokes ain't up to much,

but they do come in handy
when you're bringing up little boys.

Amen to that. Same goes
for little girls, unfortunately.

It takes a village to raise a child.

And your village ain't as full
as it used to be.

So if he wants to step up and do
the step-daddy duties, then let him.

Cos stepping up to be a step-parent
ain't for everyone.

I'll catch you later, yeah?
See ya later.

Vodka-lemonade, please, Trace.

What's all this, then?
A bit of retail therapy?

You ended it, then?
Just going to pop to the loo.

Why don't you get us a table
and I'll bring drinks over?

I'm going to enjoy my youth
before the well goes dry.

Someone might get hurt.
But at least it won't be me. OK.

Cor, it's like feeding time
at the zoo down there.

I got stuck behind the chaplain

ordering five fat portions
of lemon drizzle cake.

He'd better be praying
for his teeth tonight.

Do you believe in God?

No, not really. Why?

Dad didn't either.

He used to say you make
your own luck in this world.

And you pay your own debts.

He paid his in the end.

My dad did some awful things
in his life.

And they caught up with him.

He lost his wife...

..his favourite daughter
and in the end, he...

..he died in prison all alone.

Karma caught up with him.

They say good things happen
to good people

and bad things happen
to bad people, right?

Oh, life isn't fair.

We all make mistakes.

And all we can do is make up
for them as best we can

and that's why you're going to be
OK. No, it's not.

That is why that doctor's going to
come in here with bad news, Jean -


..I don't deserve good news.

I won't be a mum.

I can't be a mum because of
what I did. It's karma.

Oh, Ruby, I really don't know
what you're talking about.

I didn't try
and get the charges dropped, Jean.

Stacey didn't push me.