EastEnders (1985–…): Season 1, Episode 6308 - Episode #1.6308 - full transcript

Billy lies that he has a swanky new place to live when the truth is he is homeless.

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Hey! Come here, you two.

A sight for sore eyes, ain't you?

Well, it's funny you should say

Jay's got you a present. Really?

What is it?

Toenail clippers?


You've been framed.

Now you might start selling some of
that gear, now that you can see it.

I told you, I'm doing all right.

I've just got to nip in and get
some fruit for their lunches,

all right? I won't be a sec.

Don't you like them? Janet
picked them for you 'specially.

Did you, princess?

She wanted to make sure you could
see her modelling pictures.

Well, in that case...

Let's have a look.
What do you think, Dad?

I'll tell you what I think.

I think that that could be the most
beautiful smile that I've ever seen.

Can we stay at yours tonight?

Mum makes us do homework,
even on Fridays.

Here, um, not...

Not tonight, boy, sorry.

Don't you want to stay with us?

Yes, of course I do, darling, but...


..I haven't unpacked yet.

You've moved? Again? Yeah.

Yeah. Except this time it's my own
place. Yeah?

It's really flash.

Wicked! When can we come and stay,

Soon, yeah. I promise you.


Check the bedroom first, Mack!

Do you really need a book bag?

It's got all her books in it.

Oh, you are proper hanging.

Why are you up so early?

Early? With this lot? Have a
word with yourself.

Ugh, I'm late for a meeting.

Hair of the dog'll sort
you right out.


Wait a minute.

Found it! I said quiet!

Sorry. Daddy's got a very sore head
this morning.

Right, let's leave your daddy to it,
shall we?

A gut-buster and a pint of shandy
works every time.


Come on!


So, hold on, he's
living out his Coyote Ugly fantasy?

He was trying to.

And he faceplanted pretty much
straight away.


No! No, no, no, stop!

Stop, stop, stop. Oh, no! It's too

Too much.

Oh, I need a laugh.

This Isaac stuff...

Mm. It's pretty heavy.

It's really heavy.

Right, so, come on, what's
it like partying with the lawyers?

Lame, Auntie Kim.

And his boss is a total nightmare.


Sorry, I've always wanted to say

OK, withdrawn. Carry on.

Well, she came round after...


..and warned me off.

What, in front of briefcake?

No, he was passed out by then.

But she was really serious.

And just...

What do you think I should do?

Get over it.

OK, he's a jerk at work.

So what?

He's rich and has a nice rebuttal.

Are you pro-bono or are you just
happy to see me?

Yes, I'm happy to see you, Gray,
happy to see you. Yeah.

Yeah, maybe you're right.

I am. Yeah.

Listen, you ride that gravy train,

just don't forget
about your Auntie Kim.

All right, Billy? Hi, Kath.

It's going to be a long,
long time before you shift that lot,

especially those bits.

You look like a knock-off Elton.
That's not funny.

Well, it's a little bit funny...

..this feeling inside.

Ignore him. I think you look lovely.

I think he looks better blurry,

Do you do all right with this stuff?

Do more than all right.

One of the best traders
on this market, if not the best.

What? You can't even sell me
that sentence.

What, and you think you can do

Does the Pope wear a funny hat?

All right, prove it, then.

Let's see who can sell
the most in the next ten minutes.

Tenner says I'll win.

Well, I'd love to,

but I'm taking this extremely
attractive lady to lunch.

I knew it.

Knew what?

You're always out here giving it
large, ain't you?

But it's just talk.

You want to see a proper
salesman in action?

Kath, I'm rolling up my sleeves. Oh.

Look and learn, my friend.

I once sold a fridge-freezer
to an Eskimo.

Right, who wants to buy
these boxing gloves?


Have you eaten?

I could heat this hot pie up for us.


Or I can sit for a while.

We can do Paath.

I'm not praying.

Do you want some help?

Enough! All right?

The last thing
I need is you fussing around me.

You need to sleep, Mum.

You need to eat.

It's like you're losing yourself.

Well, maybe I want to be lost.

Where are you going?

Mum, where are you going?

You are looking at a bargain.

Buy one, get one free.

They can also be used as oven
gloves, huh?

As used by Delia Smith.

Come on, ladies, genuine antiques.

Nothing chipped or broken here.

You're not even trying.

I don't do the hard sell.

It's not about selling the stuff, is
it? It's about selling yourself.

Here, Madam, I can tell you're
a lover not a fighter,

but these gloves,
they'd go very nice with that bag.

What's all this?

Your dad's showing Billy
how it's done.

He's certainly got
the gift of the gab.

Managed to wear you down.

Oh, you and all. Yeah.

Can't wait for Bex to meet him now.

Although I have gotta tell mum
that he's back first.

Good luck with that one.

Right, well, their ten minutes is
almost up.

Yeah, well, I was in the film.

Yeah. When Sly was tenderising the

I was making the horseradish.

You said that you was in Rocky III,
not Rocky.

What are you talking about?
I was in all nine of them.

Ladies, I'm not saying
they were in the film,

but if you look closely, that is
Apollo Creed's teethmarks.

Twenty quid, ladies, they're yours.


Come on, come on.

Thank you.

Keep your money, Bill.

Nothing wrong with coming second.


I'll wrap them for you.

OK, so if you just take a right,

you'll find it underneath
the sink unblockers.



Oh, it's so nice to see you.

You're here? How?

Oh, well, I got my keys back. Yeah,
I opened up yesterday and...

Yeah, and who gave you permission to
do that?

This is my business.

Yeah, course, it is.
I'm the boss, you're the assistant.

Suki, are you OK?

I don't need your help. All right?

I'm so sorry.

I just thought you'd be pleased.

What is all this?

I was just doubling up on thank you
cards - end of term next...

Yeah, well, it's a complete mess
and you need to fix it.

Yeah, sure.


What's that for?

Isaac can't have his mobile.

How many numbers do you
remember off the top of your head?

What about Lola?

What about her?

Come on, now,
none of this is her fault.

Is that right?

Who you trying to blame?


He'll need change for the pay phone.


Sleep mask, ear plugs.

Yeah, but they say he's got his own

He'll be on observations every
15 minutes,

someone turning on the light,

shining a torch at him.

And the sound carries.

Are you sure you don't want me
to come with you?

You've done enough.

There he is.

The man, the legend, the runner-up.

You've shut up early.

Yeah, well, it's my business, ain't

And a fine business it is, too.

I'm still trying to
organise a darts match.

Just need to convince Kathy to
be my walk-on girl.

Well, don't hold your breath.

I dunno. I can be quite persuasive,
right, Bill?

I did manage to offload those boxing
gloves that he's had since 1976.

You don't half book yourself,
don't you?

No, but I'm working on it.

Darts is an old man's game.

Let's do bar football.

Hammers V Hoops.

Twenty quid, all in. You having

I'm having it. Sounds good.


I know what you mean, Kath,

but the man deserves a chance to
win back his dignity.


Here we go.


Well, that's me done.

Recycling, that went out yesterday

and I've sorted out all
the weeklies, so...

Take these.

Treat for the kids.

Thank you.

You should treat yourself, too.

I don't deserve it.

Course you do.

You're at your weakest when you've
got to be at your strongest.

I wasn't there for my boy
at the end.

You can't blame yourself.

As she has planted...

..so does she harvest.

Us mums, we can only do so much.

Jags, he...

..he chose his own path, didn't he?

You should go.


I don't know
when to shut up sometimes.

I should've just stuck to leaving
a pie on your doorstep.

That was you?

Was it all right?

Yeah, it was delicious.

Even my rubbish vegan pastry?

It was fine. Really? I thought
it was a bit crumbly.

You can go now, Honey.


See you next week.

He's still feeling a little confused
and drowsy.

How long are they going to keep him

It depends how he's doing.

I know it doesn't feel like it,

but this really is the best place
for him

to rest, feel safe and get the help
he needs.

I got him to take his pill the other
day, before all this.

It's not a quick cure.

His response to the medication needs
to be monitored by the doctors here.

You have to wait till he takes it?

He's showing some reluctance.

Maybe I can help.

Hiya, sweetheart.

I got you a few things from home.

We're going home?

We can't, baby.

What's done is done.

We've got no choice now.

So, you take that pill.


The sooner you take it,

the sooner you'll feel better

and we can get you out of here.

That's it.

Oh, that's it baby, that's it.

That's it.

That's good.

Get in!

Right, that's three all. Final game.

Come on, get the ball.
All right, all right. Pressure's on.

Here we go.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Spinning it. We said no spins,
didn't we?

That's his second foul.

Now, I thought this was a bit of

No, no, it's not fun.

It's a game of football
and it's a penalty to me.

Here, hang on. Ref,
that's not 12 yards.

Oh! Denied!

Yes! Oh, no! Get in!

Oh, this is great timing.

Right, come on.

No! Ha, ha, ha! Missed it.

Gone all Spursy, ain't you?

They think it's all over.

No! Yes! It is now!

Back of the net!

No, you're spinning it again!
That's your third foul.

Yeah, well, what's that supposed to

You forfeit the game.

She's a stickler for rules, that

Here you are. Twenty quid, weren't


Hey, Billy.

You all right, mate?

I know what you lot think of me.

You think I'm a muppet, a loser,

the runt of the Mitchells.

I ain't got a clue
about your family, Bill. No?

I lose one poxy bet
and you come over all Mother Teresa.

Honey and Jay might've taken me
for a fool,

but that stops now,
all right? Because I'm not a mug.

I never said you was. No?

So why'd you throw the game?

What are you talking about?
You blew it at the end.

I ain't got a clue what
you're on about. Oh, come on.

Do you think I really want to be
disqualified in front of Kath?

I'm always in it to win it.

I know you've had
a couple of knockbacks,

but you can't let that get to you.

It's easy for you to say, ain't it?

You ain't got Jay rubbing your nose
in it.

You want your missus back.

I never said that.

You don't need to.

Remember what I said before?

No, I weren't really listening.

You've gotta sell yourself.

Whatever way the chips fall,

champions act like champions before
they become champions.

Yeah, well, I'm more rock-bottom
than Rocky, ain't I?

Do me a favour. Look, sometimes
you're going to be the football,

sometimes you're gonna be the boot.

But once you learn to style it out,

the world is your lobster.

Trust me.

You won that money fair and square,
so take it.

Spend it on yachts, cars,

your kids, whatever.

But remember to hold your head up
high like the champ you are.

Eye of the tiger, Bill, eye of the

Hey. Hi.

You were up early this morning.

Yeah, sorry, needed some fresh air.

How are you feeling?

Coffee's got me through.

Laura brought this
round last night.



When you were passed out.

Right. Did she say something?

What makes you think that?

I've told you she's always
had it in for me.

But why? Did something
happen between you two?

What did she say?


I got this big case she wanted,
nailed it.

So, what, she's jealous?

Yeah, something like that.

I got you a present.

An apology for last night.


It's the least you could do.

Is that right? Right.
No more boring work parties, OK?

That's fine by me.

I could do a Rose
out of the Titanic.

The kids will be home soon.

Oh, can't Karen keep them?
I like it being just us.

I can't ask again.

Yes, you can. You owe me.

And life drawing beats finger

Fair play, he got rid of them
boxing gloves for me.

Proper old toot they were.

So, he won, then? No, of course he

I just got him to do the hard
work for me, didn't I?

And I doubled my money back
when I beat him at football.

You beat Rocky?

I didn't just beat him, son.

I walloped him, larruped him.

You must've blown
all your winnings on this.

Money well spent, ain't it?

It's nice, thank you.

Well, who's ready for chocolate?

Yeah. Inside, then, wash your hands,

and I'll be in in a minute.

Can't Daddy stay?


Dad's got a fancy new pad.

We can go round there soon. Yeah.

Oh, yeah,
things looking good, are they, Bill?

How flash are we talking, then?

Yeah, it's...

It's got a coffee pod. Ooh.

And, um...

And one of them Yank fridges,

you know, with the ice
machine on the front.

Ice machine? Yeah.

OK, don't get them
too excited before bed.

All right, well, look,
I'll see you both tomorrow, yeah?

Come on. Love you. Bye. See you

That was nice. Yeah.

Like old days, weren't it?

I didn't mean it like... No.

I'm allowed to keep my happy
memories, aren't I?



Well, it seems like you're doing
well for yourself.

Yeah, I am.

Why shouldn't I be?

You just seemed a bit fed
up in the pub.

Billy, I want you to be OK.

You know that, don't you?

I am.

Trust me.

The world is my lobster.


See you. See you.



Yeah, I sent it ten minutes ago.

Right. I'll make those changes first


Yeah, I'll be more careful next

I'm sorry.

All right.


Show some respect you stuck-up,

Sweet dreams.