Early Edition (1996–2000): Season 2, Episode 12 - Romancing the Throne - full transcript

A young princess of a small country in the Balkans visits Chicago. She has many functions to attend and people to meet in performance of her royal duties, but she yearns for time away from her handlers to be by herself and sight-see the town. Slightly inebriated, she leaves a party unnoticed and falls asleep in Gary's car. Unaware of who she is he takes her to the bar, and the next day she tags along with him as he goes about saving people throughout the city. When the time comes for her to return to her duties, she thanks Gary as feelings have developed between the young couple.

MAN: We've been through it. I don't
want to talk to your lawyer.

Yeah, yeah, I hear you.

You want the kids, you want
the house, you want the car.

Anything else? The jockey
shorts? Socket wrenches?

Excuse me.

You're-you're gonna do what?!

Look, you can't attach my wages!

How am I supposed
to pay my bills?!

Excuse me.

Listen, you've
got an obstruction

on Track One out
of Grant Park.

There's nothing moving
on the Grant Park line.

No, no, no, Edith,

I'm not moving to Grant Park.
No, that-that's because

it hasn't happened yet.
You see...

Well, see, I got a cousin
who lives out that way

and he called me.

What kind of obstruction?


A, uh, bovine obstruction.


We're talking cows?

Cows in Grant Park?


One cow.

Well, there's a milk promotion

and the-the gate
on the truck fell down

and the cow walked out and...
Her name's Daisy.

Holy cow.

I got to switch it now.


He'll be here.
This is so typical.

We're on the list for the
11:00 show at the Green Mill.

The Mighty Blue Kings.

I had to comp the
publicist four free meals

just to get on
that list, and...

Oh, finally.

I had to, uh, fix a train.

Oh, that's great.
We don't care.

I'll just go
change my jacket.

He looks terrible.
He's been working too hard.

Hey, don't kid yourself.
He thrives on this stuff.

He's exhausted, Chuck.

Let me tell you
something about Gary.

He has the stamina
of a horse.



Come on, let's go!


You are a major
disappointment to me.

(theme music playing)

CHUCK: What if you
knew, beyond a doubt,

what was going
to happen tomorrow?

What would you do?

There's no easy answer

for a guy
who gets tomorrow's news today.

This is Robin Santos
of Channel Three Chicago.

We're here to cover the arrival

of Princess Sibella of Morenia.

There's the limo.

Chicago is her fifth stop
in a two month world tour,

and also marks the princess'
first visit to America.

The official welcoming committee
has been carefully chosen

to represent the various

political, economic and cultural
aspects of our city.

Princess Sibella
is the only daughter

of King William of Morenia.

We're seeing the princess'
press secretary

and lady in waiting
get out of the car first.

There she is.

Welcome to Chicago, Princess.

Considering the long flight,

she looks remarkably poised
and well-rested.

Mr. Robert Castra,
the Lieutenant Governor.

Your Royal Highness,

I'd like to welcome you

on behalf of the people
of Illinois.

I am so looking forward
to my visit, Governor.

I hear the King
is doing a fine job

with his modernization programs.

My father will be delighted
to hear of your interest.

Mr. John McCarta,

President of the Field Museum.
Your Highness.

Mr. McCarta,

I have heard so many
wonderful things

about your museum.

Alderman Burton Natares
and Bernard Stone.

Delighted, Mr. Natares.

Mr. Stone.


Mr. Sidney Edwards,

General Manager
of Rail Operations.

Your Royal Highness.

Your elevated trains
fascinate me, Mr. Edwards.

Mr. Oberto Martinez.

Encantada, Senor Martinez.

Mucho gusto.

At 2:30, we have a television
interview with Chicago Today.

I talk about Morenia.

I am charming and earnest.

At 3:05, we visit
Francis Xavier Middle School.

I discuss world friendship.

I am funny and warm.

And at 6:30, we
return to the hotel

for a reception to benefit
the Morenian Immigrant Trust.

Oh, I urge people to contribute.

I care deeply about this

No. That would be
showing a preference.

We care deeply about this cause,
as we do all worthy causes.

Of course.

What time...?


Well, if it isn't
Sleeping Beauty.

This is today's paper.


Where is it?
Where's what?

Tomorrow's paper.

I didn't touch it.
Come on, don't give me that!

Excuse me, but I have
more important things to do

than abduct
your precious newspaper.

What, I'm not sure exactly,
but I'm sure

I could find something.

Did I give you my new
cell phone number?

Where is it?
The cell phone?

Tomorrow's paper!
Where is it?

Okay, fine.

All right. Here.

I thought I'd give
you a little day off.

A little rest.

You went straight
to the sports page, didn't you?

No. The stocks.

That's my new Rolls Royce
parked out front.

Just kidding.

Nothing important
in there anyway.

Nothing important?

What about this, "Park Ranger
Injured in Protest?"

He gets bit by a dachshund.

What about this?
"Sanitation Worker

Trapped in Sewer Mishap?"
How about that?

Big deal.

For 30 minutes.
Here's my number.

"Jilted Mistress Shoots Lover."

Yeah, she shoots him
in the butt.

Well, let me
tell you something, pal,

gunshot wounds,
they cause complications, too.

Oh, fine!

So sue me for trying
to help you!

I don't need help.
I got responsibilities, huh?

Where's she from again?

MAN 2:

Never heard of it.

It's on the Black Sea.
Balkan Peninsula.

Five million people.

Primary industries are sheep,
goats and olive oil.

Average annual rainfall is about...

Hey, I read.

My favorite part of Chicago?

Everything we have seen has
been equally delightful.

This is Mrs. Steinman,
Your Highness.

Your Royal Highness, I've
always wanted to see Morenia.

I hear the Pindas Mountains

are just gorgeous.

We do so look forward
to your visit.


Mr. and Mrs. Joffee.

They have contributed
a great deal of money

to the Refugee Trust.

Your Highness?

Your Highness?


We would like to express
our deepest gratitude.

Thank you.

ANTONIA: Your Royal Highness, you
must be patient with your duties.

You should be honored
that the King and Queen...

that the King and Queen
feel you can be entrusted

with important


Your Royal Highness,

this is Mrs. Abergoff.

It is an honor to meet you.

May I present
Mr. Gillard.

He's celebrating

his 87th birthday
this week.

The heartiest of
congratulations, Mr. Gillard.

MR. GILLARD: Thank you
so much, your highness.

It means a great deal to me.

Your Highness, there's
nothing the matter, is there?

Just two minutes! Two minutes!

Another punch, ma'am?

SIBELLA: I'm exhausted.
How much longer?

48 minutes.


2502... 2502...

(man groaning)

Okay, uh...

(gun firing)

Ow! You shot me in the butt!

WOMAN: Oh, yeah, like
you didn't deserve it?

Excuse me, ma'am.

Mr. Gillespie, I
wanted a word with you

about the press conference.

No problem.

I'd rather
not have a...

(clears throat)

I am honored to meet you.


WOMAN (over speaker):
Will the owner of a gray van

parked in the hotel entrance
contact the bellman?

All right, next cab,
let's go!

Hey, find the guy
who parked here

and tell him
to move it now.

Yes, sir.

I know.

(engine starting)

(quiet moan nearby)

(moaning softly)

(loud hiccup)



Who are you?


Excuse me.

Excuse me.

You can't sleep
in here.

Hey. Hey, who are you?
Where do you live?

Large place with stairs.

Listen, lady, you got...
you got a purse or something?



Hey, come on,
can you sit up?

Can-can you sit up?

There... yeah,
there you go.



You have a very...

interesting chin.

Oh, boy, that's
a doozy of a party.

(laughs): Party. Yeah.

Listen to me,
we're gonna get you home, okay?


Easy. Now,
listen to me.

Now, where do you live?


You... Oh, no. Hey. Oh.

Oh, boy.

(Gary groans quietly)


All right.


There we go.

All right.

Here we... are.



Okay? Okay.

Oh, no, no, no.

You've got the couch.


All right...

Whoa, whoa, uh,
let me get you

some, uh, I'll get you
some pajamas, how's that?

Ooh, lace...

with tiny little rosebuds!

I'll see what
I can do. Mm.

You know, you
really shouldn't,

uh, be getting
into strange cars.

That's not too, uh,
too safe to be doing.

I mean, it's a friendly city...

...a friendly, uh, city,

but, uh, that's...

Oh, boy.

That's still not, uh,

too safe to be doing, because...

for obvious reasons,
it's just not, uh...

So, uh, you take
the couch, and I'll...


Uh, I'll...

take the couch.

Good night.

Good night. (sighs contentedly)

WOMAN (on radio):
Traffic continues

to be diverted
off State Highway 43

at the East Lake off-ramp
due to construction.

Alternate routes suggested.
You can take Highway 94...

(clicks off radio)


Shut up.

It's not what it looks like.


Who's there?

Gary Hobson.


I live here.

Why should
I believe you?

Because why?

Because I say so.

What did you say
your name was again?

Hobson, Gary.

I do not know
any Hobson Gary.

No, it's Gary Hob...

Look, go over to that table
over there behind you.

There's some pictures on there...
pictures of me,

in my apartment,
the one you're in.

There is a resemblance.


That's because it's me.

This is my apartment,
and you're in it.


did we...?

No! I mean,
no, we didn't.

(sighs) In that case,
you may sit down.

Oh, well, thank
you very much.

(couch squeaks)

We haven't been
properly introduced.


Uh, Lowe...


Lowe Lowie.

a very unusual name.

Uh, it is short for...

uh, Chloe.

So you're-you're visiting
from out of town... Lowie?

Lowie. Yes, mm-hmm.

What country?

Oh, it is very small.

You wouldn't have heard of it.

Maybe in the vicinity of Europe?


A republic?


I-I think.

But I stay out of politics.

You stay out of politics.

A-And so what would you
be doing visiting Chicago?

Um... I am on sort
of a sightseeing tour.

I needed some time on my own,
so I left my tour group.

Last night?


I was very tired,
and my feet hurt....

from... all
of the sightseeing.

It can get overwhelming
at times, you know.

Don't you think you ought
to tell your tour guide?

He's not very sympathetic.

Well, maybe he's
missing you right now.


He won't even notice I'm gone.

She's gone!

I haven't left her
side for 18 years!

Well, if you hadn't been
flirting with that idiot

at reception, none of
this would've happened!

Well, if you hadn't scheduled
the princess to death...

(phone ringing)

Vesti here.

The king!

Yes, sir.

How good to hear
your voice.

The princess is...


Yes, sir, I-I think she's
feeling a little ill.

Shall I wake her?

No, no, of course not.

We'll call you as
soon as she awakens.

Good-bye, sir.

And may I say what a pleasure
it is speaking with you.

Oh, God, you've
lied to the king.

Well, she's out
there somewhere.

I'll find her... even
if I have to cover

every square inch
of Chicago myself.

You have a princess

upstairs in your bed?

Shh. Uh, she's
not in my bed.

Well, not anymore, 'cause
she's getting dressed.

Oh, and did you two, uh...

I'm just asking... you would've
asked me the same question.

Listen to me,
I need your help.

What am I supposed to do?
Well, isn't it obvious?

Got to take her
back to her people.

I don't think she wants
to go back to her people.

What do you mean,
you don't think?

Well, I... I haven't
exactly, uh, told her

that I I know who she is, you see.

And, uh, look, I mean, it's hard to explain...
you got to see her

to understand.
Oh, yeah.

And all she wants is a day off...
what's so wrong about that?

She's from Morenia, Gary.



When I was a kid,
I used to collect stamps,

and the one from Morenia
had a head on a pike.

A human head.

A head on a pike?

We're talking the Balkans here.

You don't want to mess
with these people.

A head on a pike?

A bloody head.

Well, yeah, but you don't
understand... Look...

you brought a puppy home,

and Uncle Chuck says nope,
you can't keep it.


Yeah. Yeah,
I got things to do today.

I'm-I'm-I'm busy today.

I'll just tell her
she's got to go back.

Yeah. Hurry up, before
the storm troopers come calling.



GARY: She's gone! Good.

No, it's not...
she took my wallet.

Princess to petty thief
in under 20 seconds.

Very impressive.


My, uh... my wallet seems
to have run off somewhere.

You wouldn't happen
to know where, would you?

I took it.

We will reimburse
you, of course.

Oh, of course y...

Well, those are nice
clothes you have on.

A trifle large.

But very comfortable.

All right, so what's the story?

My story?

Yeah, the story...
what are you doing here?

I want to see Chicago.

Look at all of
the different coffees you have.

It's wonderful!

Yeah. Now, listen, Lowie...

I would have come back.

Honestly. Listen, Lowie, I
don't have time for this.

I'm in a hurry. I...
I didn't thank you

for letting me stay with you.

W-Well, you're welcome.

It is the kindest thing
anyone has ever done for me.

Helping me to
have a day off.

No responsibilities, no worries.

(clears throat):
Yeah, but listen, uh...

Excuse me.

I'll be right back.

"26-year-old mother of two
was seriously injured yesterday

"in a freak accident
at La Salle Skating Rink.

"A teenager was practicing
slap shots as the woman

"and her eight-year-old
daughter came onto the ice.

"The puck ricocheted
off a goal post,

hitting the woman
in the temple."

Wait, I'm coming!
Listen to me.

You can't go traipsing around Chicago,
'cause you're gonna get lost,

or you're gonna get
hurt or something.

Then I could
come with you.

No, you can't.

Why not?

Well, you just can't.

You hate me.

I've taken your money,
and I've ruined your day.

Well-well, no,
now, why would you say that?

Because if you liked me,
I could come with you.

No! I mean, I do like you.

I just... Look,
I've got business to attend to

all the way on the
other side of town.

I got to go to a skating
rink this morning. Skating?

That's wonderful!
I love skating!

You do?

I do!

Come on, man, we got
to get off the ice.

Oh, come on,
four more pucks.


Are you all right?

I'm okay. I...

Mister, next time
bring your own equipment.

Let's get outta here.

Yeah. Yeah.

Thanks, man.

That woman would have been killed!
How did you know?!

How? Oh... I didn't.

I, uh, well, I-I figured
that you were only gonna be

in Chicago for a day,

so I, I thought
we'd go skating.

Really?! Oh!

(phone rings)

Vesti here.

Your Majesty.

Uh, how are things in Morenia?

Good, good. Oh, no, no,
the Princess is still asleep.

We suspect
maybe a Hong Kong flu.

Yes, yes, I'll give her
your regards

the instant I see her.

Hey, look,
don't you think

we've had
enough for today?

It's wonderful!

Yeah, well, look, I got, I got
things I gotta do, you see.

Hey, do you always hide
behind your newspaper?

I'm an avid
reader. Hey!

Page one! Page two!

Don't do that! Look...

Hey, there's important
stuff in there.

Oh, important page three.

Important page four.

Hey, look out for the boards!

Ooh! Ooh!


Hal? Hey, how you doin'?
It's Chuck Fishman.

Yeah, I'm just, uh, checking out
my new cell phone here,

making sure it works.

She's 21, dark hair,
rather tall, regal-looking.

Somewhat unpredictable.
No, wait, wait.

You hear me?

Oh, you think
I'm making this up?

If I'm lying, let the Sears
Tower fall on my head.

Oh, detestable
modern technology.

A princess.
A real live princess.

Yeah, with a crown
and everything.

She's, she's at McGinty's.

At the bar, my bar, McGinty's.

Vesti here. I've found her. Meet
me at a bar called McGinty's.

(blues music playing)


The Princess...

She's not here.

Hi. What can I get you?

Oh, I'd like a cup of...


Everyone drinks beer here.
We must try and blend in.

And the Princess?

We wait.

You're not from around here,
are you?

Blend, blend.

Can we go
to the Shedd Aquarium?


It's the world's largest.
indoor aquarium.

More than 6,000
freshwater marine animals.

Please, please?

Well, maybe, maybe
we'll do that.

We'll do that later.

Oh, look!
It's gorgeous!


Most romantic skyline
in all the world.

SIBELLA: Oh... Turn it over.

It snows. How wonderful.

(horn blares)

Uh, Lowie, we gotta go now.


Party pooper.

How much?

Ten bucks.


Here, keep it.

Oh, thank you! Thank you!

Yeah. Yeah, Lowie,
we gotta talk now.

(door opens)


There's something
very odd about those two.


What do you mean, odd?

You know, like foreign.


Hi, folks.
Welcome to McGinty's.

How you doin'?

Very well, thank you.

You, uh,
from out of town?


I see. You come here
for the food and the drink

or, uh, or what, huh?

Ask him.

Actually, we're looking
for someone.

Oh, really? Who?

Our niece.
Our daughter.

Our niece's daughter.


Actually, I have a photograph.
Perhaps you've seen her.

Uh. oh. No, no,
I'm, I'm sorry,

I-I've never seen her
before in my life.

Look, Lowie, I-I like you.
I like you a lot,

but there's nothing more
I'd rather do

than spend the whole day
together, but you see, I...

But you can't.

No, I can't, because I-I
have responsibilities.

Oh, responsibilities.
I hate that word.

Well, see, Lowie,
it's not just a word.

I mean, see,
people depend on me.


Well, I-I can't name
'em all personally,

but they need me,
and I can't let 'em down.

Why not?

Well, because I...

Well, I guess
it's something in here.

It wouldn't be right.

You understand that?


(big band music plays)

All right, everybody conga!

Fishman, you've finally
lost your mind!

It's that old McGinty's

the 3:00 conga line! Everybody!

Are you nuts?

(quietly): You wanna keep your job?
Help me.

Come on!
I can't!

Blend, blend.


Hey, Chuck, this is Lowie.
Lowie, this is Chuck.

Hi, Lowie.
How are you?

Very well, thank you.
How are you?

Me? I'm insane. Gary, can I
talk to you for a second?


You know what? Um, we
just got a new menu.

I'd love you to look at
it and get your opinion.

It's right here.

Yeah. Why don't you
just check that out?

Whoo! Whoo!

"Buffalo wings"? How odd.

How'd they find her?

I don't know. But, but we
gotta get rid of her quick.

What am I
supposed to do,

put her on a bus
to Milwaukee?

Listen, those heads-
on-pikes people are on

the other side of that door,
so we gotta move now.

No way.

Oh, come on.

Is something wrong?

No, no, no, no.

I've got some things that
I'm gonna do, uh, today,

and, and Chuck is gonna
show you around town.

Really?! Ooh! The Field Museum,
Daily Plaza, Navy Pier?

We bought
a guidebook, so...

Oh, okay, look,
I know you want

to see Chicago
and everything,

but I-I can't
promise you...

Well, I'll be back
around, uh, 7:00.


Hey, something else
has come up.

Can I help you?

I-I was. I was
looking for the guy

that was here the other day.
He was on duty.

I think he was
a supervisor...

He took some personal time;
court date.

Now, who are you?
Uh, well...

Listen, all I'm asking you
to do is divert the train.

It's on the Orange Line,
train 57.

I can't divert a train.

Well, just delay it
for five minutes.

If I delay one train
by five minutes,

that means the next one
is delayed by five minutes,

and then the next
and the next...

Look, all I'm talking
about is five minutes.

I'm telling you this is
a matter of life or death.

Mister, I don't
know who you are,

but we run the safest transit
system in the entire country.

I know you do, but how
about a hypothetical, okay?

A-A truck goes
out of control

and it hits a support beam,
and the train derails.

And what if a meteor
dropped out of the sky?

Meteors and trucks,

we're talkin' two different
things here, pal.

I'm gonna have
to ask you to leave.

Yeah, well, that's
great, but, hey, look...

I'm telling you
it's the Orange Line.

The Orange Line, train 57

MAN (over P.A.): Orange line right this way.
End of the line.

Does the Orange Line
come through here?

Last 25 years, yep.

Train 57?


What-what time?

Orange Line,
that'd be the Midway.

Here's the Evanston
and the Ravenswood.

Yeah, oh, here...

No, that's Skokie Swift.

Here we go.


comes through...

right about now.

(horn blowing in distance)

(horn blowing)

See, there's no better way to
see Chicago than by the train.

The faces, the places...

Go Bulls!

The muggings.

Hey, I thought you said
the train stops here.

I didn't say it stopped here,
I said it came through here.

It's an express.

You like basketball?

Oh, absolutely.

Jordan or Shaq?

Michael Jordan,
of course.

(cell phone ringing)



I-I can't hear you.

You have to speak up.

No, it's me!

You-you got to stop the train!

Gare, is that you?

Yeah, it's me!

You got to stop
the train, Chuck!

Hey, Gare, listen,
I'm-I'm-I'm losing you, buddy.

I'm-I'm on a train.

Y-You'll have
to call back, okay?

No! No! Chuck!
(line clicks)


Hey, would you watch

where you're throwing
the ball, please?

"The accident occurred
when a Pegasus moving van

went out of control."

All right, so Pegasus...

(truck horn honking)

That's it!

MAN (over P.A.):
Brown Line coming up.

Next stop, Southport.


Hey! Hey!




(truck horn blaring)





Chuck, come on.

All right, all right.

You know, I used to play myself.

Oh, man.



What a mess.


Hey, get off!

(truck horn blaring)

(brakes hiss)

Come on.

I think he hit a utility pole.

(man speaking
indistinctly over P.A.)

(woman speaking Croatian)

Hey, they're live wires!

Don't get out of the car!

Stay in the car!

(speaking Croatian)

Don't touch
the door!

Stay in the car!

Don't move;
they're live wires.

Come on, fellas, give me those!

(speaking Croatian)

(speaking Croatian)

How do you know that?

It is Croatian.

They speak it in the
southern part of my country.


Look, I think
we'll be all right,

as long as we don't
touch the car.

I think.

(electricity sizzling)

Watch that.

Hold it!

One more!

Got it?

Come on.
Come on.

There you go.

Come on.
All right.

(sirens approaching)
Everything's fine.

There you go.
There you go.

All right.

(women speaking Croatian)


The princess
had to be on the train.

Yeah, or else we
wouldn't have been able

to save the
mother and kid.

It's like the paper knew, huh?

I'm telling you, Gare, I'm
getting cosmic whiplash here.

(door opens, closes)

It is time.

To get back to my tour group.


Uh, here.

You'll never know when
you need a snowball.


Thank you.

CHUCK: Next time
you're in Chicago,

you'll come see
us, won't you?


Well, I guess we'd
better get you back

to that big place
with the stars, huh?


Something I'd like
to see first.

It's beautiful, huh?

It's beautiful.

I have to leave now.

Promise you won't
watch me go.

I promise.


Thank you for a lovely holiday,
Gary Hobson.



you have no idea.

Oh, look at you!

You must be

I'll draw
you a bath.




You may leave now.


Both of you.

I can draw my own bath.

(door closes)

ANNOUNCER (over radio):
Good morning, Chicago.

It's 6:30 a.m., and this is Paul
Groom with today's headlines.

Two men were arrested outside...


(exhales sharply)

(turns off radio, cat meows)

Ladies and gentlemen,

her Royal Highness,
Princess Sibella of Morenia.

The Princess will be happy
to answer your questions.


(cameras clicking)

REPORTER: Your Royal Highness, have
you recovered from your illness?

I'm feeling quite well now.

Thank you very much
for your concern.

Has your visit cemented

your country's friendship
with America?

I hope so.

I believe that friendship
between people

is the first step towards
friendship between nations.

How do you balance

your personal life
and your duties

as a princess?

I... try to remember

that there are people out there,

people in my own country,
who depend on me.

I may not know them
all personally,

but they need me

and I cannot let them down.

What was your favorite
part of Chicago?

(Vesti clears throat)

I enjoyed all parts
of my visit equally.


That's not true.

The best part
of my visit to Chicago

was the people.

Their warmth, their kindness,

the way they welcomed me
into their lives.

It is something
I will cherish forever.

If circumstances were different,
it is the kind of city

that I could happily spend
the rest of my life.

Thank you.


Lovely speech.

Thank you.

Fairy tales do come true,

if only for a day.

But you know,

sometimes that day is enough
to last a lifetime.