Early Edition (1996–2000): Season 1, Episode 3 - Baby - full transcript

After the newspaper shows Chuck delivering a baby on the L, Gary and Marissa try to convince him to go through with it.

CHUCK:
Sometimes things work out.

Sometimes they don't.

Sometimes, no matter how well
you plan your foundation,

the roof falls in. Kaboom!

Nothing left but the rafters.

Take my best friend, Gary,

a man born to have kids.

Instead, he's got a newspaper

that tells tomorrow's news,
and one about-to-be...

Are we ready?

...ex-wife.



Guess so.
Guess so.

Which goes to show, when it
comes to the future,

it's not what
you know that counts,

it's what you do
when you get there.

(theme music playing)

♪ ♪

To single life... again.

Welcome back, buddy.

We missed you.

Thanks a lot.

Gary, look.

It's gonna take some time,

but believe me, you're
better off without her.

You really think
that, don't you?



You gotta get into
the spirit of things.

Look around you.

Look, look at all
these chicks.

Look at her.
Gare...

you are a free man.

Think about it. The thrill
of the hunt, all the action.

Yeah, the cold pizza
for breakfast.

Exactly.

You know what
she said to me?

Who?

Marcia.

We're at the
lawyer's office.

She turns around to me and
you know what she says?

She wants you back?

I give up.

She says to me...

No hard feelings. Huh?

How's that?

It's been fun.

Call me sometime.

Man, that's rotten.

Thank you.

No. The Cubs.

They're losing again.

What else is new?

Hey, Cheech, give me
another Crownie.

I gotta go.
Wait a minute.

What do you mean you're going?
Would you sit down?

Get him a drink, too.
Will you relax, please?

I can't. I gotta go.

Where?

The 7-Eleven over on Dunsmuir.

Oh, buddy. That's bad.

I know you're hurting,

but hanging around
convenience stores.

Stick around.

As your friend, I
refuse to let you go.

WOMAN:
Chuckie?

Actually, I could
use a Slurpee.

Chuckie?
Amy Handelman.

Who?
Chuck!

There's a seat over here.

Who is what?

A doctor.

Really?
Chuck!

CHUCK:
Don't look
over there.

Chuckie!

Wait a second, Chuckie.

She seems to like you.
Maybe we...

Chuck! Chuck Fishman.

Look, it was two years ago,
Steamboat Springs, a junket.

I was desperate. She's been
stalking me ever since.

Okay.

Chuck?

I'll call you.

I'm in the book.

Can't wait.

Gary! Come on.
Now move.

Go. Now!

GARY:
So that's what I have
to look forward to.

You call that the
thrill of the hunt?

Hey, sometimes you gotta
take what you can get.

Oh, that's a
motto to live by.

But not you. You're gonna
make out like gangbusters.

You're a good-
looking kid.

You know, you're one of those
"aw, shucks" kinda guys

that girls really go for.

You got nothing
to worry about.

Of course, you
live in a dump,

but you get tomorrow's
newspaper, which, I may add,

is one hell of
an ice-breaker.

Uh-huh.

Hey, you gotta use
what you got, buddy.

I mean, it's a
jungle out there.

Dating game Darwinism--

only the strong survive.

You're gonna do good
at this, trust me.

I was good at being married.

Which explains why you're
here with me tonight.

Sorry.

Forget about her.

What have you
got to lose?

What do you mean, what
have I got to lose?

A family, a home, kids.

You know I want kids.

Why?

What do you mean why?

CHUCK:
They're nothing
but trouble.

You gotta change
their diapers

and all that
snot and...
Stay here.

...drool, it's disgusting.

Okay. We're gonna
do this thing, right?

Jimmy. Roy. I know what you're
planning on doing. Don't do it.

The guy behind the counter
in there

has got a sawed-off shotgun.

He's got medals
for marksmanship.

Now, listen, here's 50 bucks.

That's all you're
gonna get anyway. All right?

You know what? You got
a chance for a scholarship.

You got a girlfriend
at home who loves you.

What do you want to throw
all that away for, huh?

Ahh...

(engine rattling)

And while you're at it, do
something about your muffler!

Let's go.

Where were we?

Movies.

Look, all right,
as long as we're

on this side of town,
nothing's lost.

We could catch the Jackie Chan
festival at the Arts.

It starts at 8:15.
Perfect.

Excuse me.

Is this gonna take long?

I hate missing
the coming attractions.

Hi, Molly.

You going somewhere?

Who are you?

You're running away
from home, aren't you?

Well, my parents hate
me, and... I hate them.

No, I don't think so.

Look, your mom, she's
sorry she yelled at you.

And your dad, he's very proud
of your math scores.

But they forgot my birthday.

No.

Look in the back of the garage,

there's a brand new
blue ten-speed.

Why don't you
go back inside?

It's past
your bedtime.

Go.

Go on.

All right. What
were you saying?

8:20. We blew it.

Eh.

Okay, Plan B.
We're downtown.

The Bruin View.

They're showing
Jaws I through IV.

Perfect. We're in
time for Jaws III.

That's in 3-D.

Hey, Gare, did you hear me?

I said that's in 3-D.

(baby shrieking)

Come on.

The line, lady.

Here.

You're a nickel short.

MAN:
Hey, what's
the holdup?

She has food stamps,
and now she's a nickel short.

I don't seem to have it.

All right. What do you
want me to put back?

I...

How about the milk?

No. I need that.

The bologna, then?

No.

(child screams)

Look, couldn't I
just owe you the money?

I live just down the street.

I come here
all the time.

What about the bread?

WOMAN:
Come on.

That belonged to
my grandfather.

He told me it would
bring me luck.

Yeah? Well, it
hasn't worked so far.

Uh! Hold it.

She'll pay with this.

You, you...

Thank you. I-I can
pay you back.

I know you can.

This is a 1913
Liberty Head nickel.

He was gonna sell
it for just over a
million dollars tomorrow.

Take it to a rare-coin
dealer tomorrow.

It seems like you should
keep it in the family.

All right. All right.
Are you done?

We can still make it.

We got five minutes. Hey!

Gare!

One more stop.

You're impossible.

You can't let this gig
be all-consuming.

I mean, even Batman
had a social life.

You remember all those
parties at Wayne Manor?

Hey, you're forgetting

about the little people,
your friends.

What about, what
about my needs, Gar?

This will just
take a minute.

Uh, Senator.

Uh... not tonight.

You see the guy over there
with the Bulls' hat?

He'd love to get a picture
of you and the young lady.

And he's not a Bull.

And, uh, don't forget,
it's an election year, huh?

Let's get the hell
out of here.

What were you saying?

Never mind.

MARISSA:
What were we saying?

Oh, yeah... kids.

(cat meows)

Yeah, kids. How can
she not want kids?

Uh, wild guess--
because she doesn't.

Well, she did when we met.

She said that?

No, not in so many words,
but a guy just figures that.

Then she gets the job
at the law firm. No, no.

Well, you know, Gary,
people change.

I mean, look at you.

Oh, yeah, a lot
of people have families.

Instead, I get a cat.

(loud meow)

Heroes never have it easy.

Well...

the only reason anyone
ever called me a hero

is because I get this paper.

Here.

Maybe you get that paper
because you're a hero.

GARY (muttering):
What are you talking about?

"Hero."

Can't even save
my own marriage.

Zeke.

What?

That's what I was
gonna name him.

Who?

My son.

The first one anyway.

Ah. Well, what
if it was a girl?

Zeke.

Oh.

Well, that
makes it easy.

He was gonna play
hockey, you know.

Zeke?
Yeah.

The boy or the girl?

Doesn't matter.

Oh. Just asking.

Go camping and sleep
under the stars.

Hang out at the circus.

You know I like the circus?

Do you want to talk
about this or not?

I mean, 'cause if you do,
there's plenty of time

if you still want
to have a kid.

People have
them every day.

Oh, you're telling me.

What?

Oh, Marissa,

you're not gonna
believe this.

What?

You're not gonna
believe this.

Okay. Here's the deal.

I had this dream last night.

Ralston Purina
up six points.

What do you say?

You're dreaming stocks?

I'm dreaming condos in Aspen,
a house in Lake Geneva.

Check it out in the paper.
See what it says.

It was worth a try.

What?

There is a story here
that might interest you.

Really?

Why am I suddenly suspicious?

No, no, no, no.
It's good. It's good.

Oh, yeah?

Well, where is it?

Sports? Financial?

Here you go, buddy.

Page seven.

Seven!
My lucky number.

Guys, this is great.

I promise I'll give you sev...

Oh, my God.

Oh, no.

"The stork came to Chicago

"on the downtown "L"
yesterday afternoon

"in the unlikely person of Chuck
Fishman, local stockbroker.

"Battling time
and rush-hour conditions,

"Fishman came to the rescue
of housewife Anne Kellogg

when she unexpectedly
went into labor."

I'm not doing it.

"Mother and daughter were
reported in excellent condition

at Cook County Hospital."

Thataway, Dr. Kildare.

I'm not doing it.

What's wrong, Chuck?
You're going to be a hero.

Oh, groovy. Swell.
But guess what.

Chuck ain't doing it.

Why? The paper says
it turns out fine.

What is this, some kind of joke?

What is today? April Fools'?

No.

Nixon's birthday?

Oh, I know.
This is to get back at me

for that time I short-sheeted
your bed in college.

Is that it?

Oh, no, no, no.

Oh, I know.
It's when I put

that warm water
on your wrist,

and you peed
your pants.

I don't think
you have a choice.

Sure, I do, and here it is.

No. There, selection made.

And you're in the
men's room, young lady.

Call me crazy, but
that man has a problem

with the miracle
of childbirth.

Hey, Chuck, don't you think

you're overreacting
here a little bit?

Yeah? How's that?

How's that?
It says in the paper

the mother and the baby
are going to be fine.

Oh, sure. Them.

Well, so, what's
the problem?

What's
the problem?

I'll tell you the problem.

The problem is... fluids.

Fluids?

Yeah. You know, like...
blood and stuff.

Stuff?

Yeah. Like childbirth stuff.

Look.

I've never told this
to anyone before,

but, in the seventh grade,
in biology class, you know,

when you have
to dissect the frog?

Well, I opened mine up, and
there was this... stuff in it.

Really?

Weird stuff.

Chuck, delivering a baby

is not the same
as dissecting a frog.

Close enough.

Hey, I'll tell you what.

Maybe it's a different
Chuck Fishman.

Just happens to look
exactly like me.

I don't think so.

Well, this is why I tell you
never to show me that paper.

Now you know
how I feel.

Yeah? Except, unlike you,
I'm not putting up with it.

Kellogg. Kellogg. Anne Kellogg.

I'm out of here.

CHUCK:
There she is.

I knew I'd find her.

Come on. Come on.

You know, this
is probably futile.

What are you talking about?

We're being good neighbors.

If you were going
to pop out a baby

on the grimy floor
of a public conveyance,

you'd want a little
advance notice as well.

Your concern
is touching.

God! What an appetite.

Look at her go!

Okay. Wish me luck.

Just out of curiosity,
what are you going to tell her?

I don't know, but
I'll think of something.

I'm quick on my feet.

(buzzing)

GARY:
It's her-- the girl
from the bar.

Gare.

I'll be right back.
Gare.

Yes?
Hi.

Uh... I'm, uh...
Chuck Brakowski.

You don't know me.
Board of Health.

(horn honking)

(horn honking)

(siren wailing)

Not now, please.

Hey, lady, stop!

(siren wailing)
Don't cross! Don't cross!

You can't cross!

I will so, young man.

Please, lady.

Rotten scum!

Ow!

Get a life!

GARY:
That's not fair!

Next time, keep your
opinions to yourself, creep!

Get pregnant,
the whole world thinks
they're your obstetrician.

Success! She's taking a cab.

It worked. Okay,
now, check the paper.

See what it says.

What?

Congratulations. Twins.

So, you handing
out cigars?

Very funny.

"The stork came early
to a downtown elevator
yesterday afternoon

in the person of
stockbroker Chuck Fishman..."

All right, that's enough.

"...who came to the aid
of an expectant mother

and delivered twins."

So where would
this elevator be?

Doesn't say.
Somewhere in Chicago.

Who's the lucky mom?

"Name withheld by request."
"Name withheld by request."

It's not fair.

I don't know what I
did to deserve this.

You're asking us
that question?

I can't believe you didn't...

Oh, great.

Hey, guys, I gotta go.

Yeah. Thanks for
all your help, Gare.

You know, you're being
really weird about this.

It's just basic biology.
All right.

It's pretty simple.

First, the mother's
water breaks.

Well, actually,
it's not water.

It's amniotic fluid
from inside the uterus.

Then the contraction begins.

She pushes,
you help receive the baby,

you cut the umbilical cord

and wash off the
placenta, and then you...

Stop it! This isn't biology.

This is Poltergeist.

You know, Chuck,
you can't run from fate.

Sooner or later,
it's going to catch up.

Maybe I can't run,
but I can hide...

in my apartment,
under my bed,

35 floors up.
Barring a woman

rappelling down my chimney,
I ought to be all right.

I'll see you later.
I'm getting out of here.
Good luck.

MAN:
Bring it on its side
so nobody trips over it!

(heavy pounding)

Another foot-and-a-half
should do it.

Excuse me! You got
a problem here.

You're telling me.

Wife packed
salami again.

Keep telling her--
salad, greens.

No, no. I mean the hole.

What about it?

It's in the wrong place.

You gotta be kidding.

Hey, it's right there.

Hey, Mankowitz,

you didn't move it, did you?

What?
The hole.

No.

See.

Look, I'm telling you,
you got the wrong plans.

What?

They mislabeled
the plans.

You're going
to hit pipe.
Say that again.

In about six minutes,
you're going to hit water pipe.

You've got six minutes.

GARY:
Not again.

Hey, buddy,
something wrong?

Hey, I'll be right back.

Nut.

Keep drilling.

Okay.

Walk tall.

(horn honking,
brakes screeching)

Okay. No problem, Officer.

Moving along.

Moving right along.

Gotta get out of here.

Excuse me.

Watch it, jerk!

Oh!

What's your
problem?

(screaming)

That's it.

I need help.

Medical services.

A doctor, a doctor,
a doctor, a doctor.

Amy Handelman, MD.

Oh, what the hell?

Okay. Don't panic. Stay calm.

You can do this. No problem.

Where is she?
Who?

That... that woman you
were just talking to.

She went out the back.

Excuse me.

Do you know who she is?
Who?

The woman we were
just talking about.

Sir, I really can't give out
that kind of information.

No. I mean, does
she live around here?
Look, I really don't...

Does she come in here often?
Is she married? Do you...?

Sir, don't you have
anything better to do?

No. I don't have
anything better to...

Oh, God!

(jackhammer pounding)

Hey!
Yeah?

I think there's
something down here.

Stop! What are you doing?

Huh?
What are you doing?

I told you to stop!

(over intercom):
Dr. Handelman, there's
a Dr. Schwitzer here to see you.

Hi.

Chuck!

Have you ever
delivered a baby?

Sure.

On a train
or in an elevator

with things flying around

and wind blowing?

No. But I guess
that I could.

Good.

Do you mind if I, uh...

stay here for a while?

(bell dings)

Oh, good morning!

What's so good
about it?

Did it rain or something?

Nope.
Oh, by they way, uh,
you have a visitor.

Where?

In your room.

I let her in.

She said she was your wife.

Surprise.

Yeah.

(cat meows)

(cat meows loudly)

You got to be
joking, right?
Nope.

She came to your
hotel room? Why?

I'm not sure exactly.

Well, what did she say?

She said she wanted to talk,
she said...
I've been thinking.

About...?

About us.

Us? You've been
thinking about us,

as in "yesterday
at the lawyer's office" us?

I don't know,
you seem different,

more involved.

Look, Marcia, I think...

Is there someone
new in your life?

MARISSA:
And you said?

I think you should go.

Look...

I know this sounds
crazy, but...

if you want, we
could have dinner,

you know, sometime.

Well, you know, I-I...

How about tonight?

Huh?

And you said?

I told her I'd
think about it.

Oh, brother!

Well, what am I
supposed to do?
She's my wife.

My ex-wife.

For the moment, anyway.

(exhales):
I'm telling you, this
thing's driving me crazy.

I mean, I got... I got the
paper, I got Marcia...

And now I keep see... I...

I just keep getting distracted.

I'm...

(shuddering groan)

How's Chuck?

Last I saw him, fine.

Yeah, this ought to be safe.

(door opens)

Hi. (giggles)

Oh, dear.

Oh, no.

So, how'd it go downtown?

What?

The water main break,
did you stop it?

Not exactly.

Oh, distracted again, huh?

Well, let's
just say that, uh,

I'm lucky it wasn't
something more serious.

Oh, boy.

This wasn't here before.

(grunts):
Uh, Amy, listen, listen...
Anything, Chuck.

Do you really think
this is a good idea?

I mean, here in your office?
I canceled my
appointments.

What about your secretary?
I sent her home.

Oh, no. Well, what
if something happens...

Do you remember
that night, Chuck?
Yeah, yeah.

But what if there's
an emergency?
The orchids in the drinks?

I mean, don't you
have to be here?

I mean, what if
you're not ready

and they walk in...
Oh.

I'm ready
No. That's
not what I mean.

I mean... Listen...

You were amazing.
Amy, listen,

Amy, I... I was?

Mm-hmm.

Listen, I'm going
to deliver a baby.

(breathless laugh):
Fine with me.

Chuck?
See you later.

Oh, Chucky?

Chucky!

Hey!

Him again.

Turn that thing off.

What thing?
The pump.

What?

He wants you
to turn the thing off.

What thing?
The pump.

Why?
Why?

'Cause you're gonna black out
half the city.

'Cause you're gonna
black out half the city.

Oh.

Can't do it.

Can't do it.

Why?

Orders.

(panting)

Nice to see you,
sir.

Home.

Thank you, Johnson.

No.

No, I can't take the elevator.

No.

(elevator bell rings)
This can't be.

WOMAN:
Sorry.
About five minutes.

Excuse me.

Hold it.

MAN:
Move back.

Yeah.

Um, could you press 35,
please.

Thank you.

How you doing?

Oh, lot of
laundry.

Laundry
day, huh?

Listen, for the last time,
I'm telling you this is serious.

So, what are you?

Some kind of electrician
or something?

Wait a minute.
I got it.

A whatchamacallit.

Clairvoyant, right?

Like on TV?

Or, uh, that guy, uh,
uh, Jean Dixon?

No, no.

I'm Superman.

The difference being
Superman had a life,

a job and
a girl.

Me, I get this.

Turn it off, Mankowitz.

Hey, buddy,
we turned it off.

Thank you.

It's her.

Who?

This girl by
the fountain...

...at 5:12 tonight.

(elevator bell rings)

15. Anyone getting off?

Yeah,
excuse me.
Excuse me.

Excuse me.
Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Popular floor.

(sighs)

(humming)

(burps)

Excuse me.

What are you
looking at?

Um, nothing.

So, when are you due?

Excuse me?

You look like you're ready
to go any second.

I tell you what,

why don't I give you the date
that I conceived,

and you and I can do
the math together.

Unbelievable.

MAN:
Back to
the truck.

Hey!

How come this pump
stopped running?

Uh, I...

I told them to turn it off.

Oh, you did, did you?

On whose authority?

Superman's.

I wouldn't...

FOREMAN:
Look out!

(tires screeching)

Oh!
Oh!

Oh, just great.

(distant siren wailing)

POLICE DISPATCHER:
Proceed to 140 Michigan Avenue.

Elevator between floors.

Two people on it.

What did you do?
Me?

Nothing.

It's still just the
two of us, right?

Oh, okay.

Now, let's get this
baby moving again.

Oh, no, no.

Not your baby.

This baby, the elevator.

Now,

I'm probably pretty
good at this, uh...

It's stuck.
Yeah.

Well, no problem.

I mean, these kinds
of things happen
all the time.

You okay?
I'm fine.

I mean, okay,
here we are.

We're trapped in
the elevator.

There's no reason for
anyone to panic.

(burps)
It's got...
wha-what was that?

What? I burped.
That noise.

Oh, well, that's okay.

I mean, uh, I just
thought...

You're still okay?

I...
I mean, nothing's,
like, uh, leaking?

Would you do me
a favor?
Sure.

Would you sit down
and shut up.

You're a strange man,
and you're making me nervous.

Okay.

Everyone, be patient.

The rescue squad's tied up
with the hand cart.

Keep those people
back.
Excuse me, Officer.

I have a friend that lives
in this building.

Is there something
wrong?
Elevator's stuck.

28th floor.
Um, are there
people on it?

You bet.
Do you know
who they are?

Not by name, but I
can tell you this--

one of them's pregnant,
one of them's scared.

(distant car horns honking)

What's going on?

MIKE:
Not much.
Tell you that.

Where is everybody?

That's the funny
thing about bars.

No food, no TV,
no lights,

people tend not
to hang around.

Well, how bad is it?

Half the city's
blacked out.

Rumor is some jackass downtown

put the plug
in the wrong socket.

That's not true.

What?

Nothing.

You got something to drink?

Your choice,
water or melted ice.

Did you ever have
a bad day, Mike?

What do you call this?

No, I mean one of
those bad days,

a really bad day where
everything goes wrong.

You mean like the day
I got married?

First of all,
it rained, buckets.

Then the hors d'oeuvres
turned brown.

Then the mother-in-law breaks
her tooth on the wedding cake.

I should have known right then.

Yeah.

Maybe it'd all
be worth it

if there was someone
to come home to, huh?

Someone who cares
about you.

What?

Fountain?

(phone rings)

McGinty's.

Yeah, he's right here.

Okay.

I'll tell him.

Marissa.
She says to come quick.

Your pal Fishman's in trouble.

Something about cutting open
a frog?

Hello? Hello,
anyone there?
(clicking phone)

I'll give you
a buck to answer.

Okay, make it 50.

MAN (on phone):
This is the building super.

It's the
building super.

I'm sure I'm thrilled.

Hello!

We're working on
getting you down.

Good!
When?

Well, we don't know.

Maybe an hour.

An hour?

Hang on.

When did you say
you were due?

A month.

An hour's too long.

Can't you just pry
the doors open?

No good.
You're stuck between floors.

That's okay. We'll
take that chance.

Forget it.
Bad idea.

(soft groan)

Hang on.

That was a burp
again, wasn't it?

(groaning)

(groaning)

Burp.
I heard burp.

I'm going to have the baby.

Uh, Houston, we have a problem.

Marissa.

Hey, I'm glad
you're here.

It's happening.
In the elevator, huh?

In the elevator.
And there's no power.

WOMAN:
You don't know
anything else, do you?

MAN:
No, I haven't heard anything.

What are you doing now?

One, two, three.
(inhales)

I'm having contractions.

I hope you're proud of yourself.
One, two...

Oh, my God.

Try counting backwards.

Maybe it'll reverse the process.

You're really a train wreck.
You know that?

One, two, three...
It's not my fault.

I didn't want
to open up that dumb frog!

GARY (on phone):
Chuck, you there?

Gare, is that you?

Gare, you gotta help me.

Someone's in a lot of trouble.

All right.
Now, listen, what's her name?

Not her-- me.

One, two, three.

Come here.

GARY:
Chuck?

Come... here.

Chuck?
Hang on.

One, two, three.

One, two...
Closer!

(wincing)

One, two, three...
(inhales)

Bottom line, if you make this
any more difficult,

when this is over,

I will hunt... you... down!

Is that clear?
(sharp inhale)

One, two, three.
It's getting serious, pal.

All right, now, listen, keep
your head; you can do this.

No, I can't.
Yes, you can.

No, I can't.

Yes, you can.
You've got to.

Listen, you're
the only one there is.

It's you. You're it.

You're the guy in the elevator.

Sometimes that's all
the hero is, Chuck.

It's the guy who's there.
All right?

Chuck?

WOMAN:
One, two, three.
(inhales)

Chuck?
One, two, three.
(inhales)

Chuck?
One, two, three.
(inhales)

Chuck?

One, two, three.
(inhales)

One, two, three. (inhales)

One, two, three.
(inhales)

What is that?
One, two, three.

(inhales)
One, two, three.

(inhales)
One, two, three.

(inhales)
It's not brake fluid.

(inhales)
One, two, three.

(inhales) One, two, three.
Oh.

Chuck?
(thudding
over phone)

Chuck?
One, two.
(inhales)

One, two. (inhales)

Chuck?

One, two.
(inhales)

One, two. (inhales)

One, two.
(inhales)

One, two. (inhales)

One, two.
(inhales)

One, two. (inhales)

One, two.
(inhales)

One, two. (inhales)
One, two.

Chuck?

Got a Plan B?

(inhales)
One, two.

(inhales) One, two.
(doors squeak and rumble)

(inhales)
One, two.

One, two. (inhales)

One, two.
(inhales)

One, two. (inhales)
Chuck?

One, two.
(inhales)

One, two. (inhales)

One, two.
(inhales)

One, two. (inhales)

One, two.
(inhales)

Chuck, you all right?

One, two. (inhales)
He's out cold.

(inhales)
One, two.

(inhales) One, two.

(inhales)
One, two.
That's great.

(inhales)
One, two.

(inhales) One, two.

(inhales)
One, two.

(inhales) One, two.

(inhales)
One, two.

(inhales) One, two.

(inhales)
One, two.
Oh, this is great.

(inhales)
One, two...
I'm Chuck Norris now.

(inhales)
One, two.

(inhales) One, two.

(inhales)
One, two.

(inhales) One, two.

(inhales)
One, two.

Okay.
(inhales) One, two.

(inhales)
One, two...
(grunts)

(inhales)
One, two.

(groans)
(huffing)

One, two.
(inhales)

One, two. (inhales)

One, two.
(inhales)

One, two. (inhales)
One, two.

(loud, rapid,
rhythmic breathing)

(grunts)

Hi.

(rapid breathing)

Give me a break.

(loud breathing)

How is he?

You wake him up,
and I kill you both.

(exhales loudly)

Uh...

Is the elevator fixed yet?

No. The paramedics
are on the way.

What are they gonna do,
haul me out on a winch?

Look, maybe
we can call your doctor.

Sailing in the Caribbean.

Well...

Well, maybe
there's something else...

(screaming):
Oh... look.

Mister, it's you

and me.

Are you gonna pass out, too,
or are you gonna help?

'Cause I got to bring
two kids into the world.

Are you with me or not?

Yeah.

Okay.

Okay.

(siren blaring)

This is it! Let's hustle.

(indistinct shouting
and chatter)

Paramedics coming through.

Okay, we're here.

Where's the mother?

PREGNANT WOMAN (screaming):
Oh!

Oh!

What? In there?

Oh! Oh!

Come on, you're doing fine.

Just keep pushing.

(groaning)

I can't.

Yes, you can.

You're doing fine.
Just keep... Come on.

(groans)
Come on.

(woman groaning over intercom)

(crowd chatter)

(groaning)

Come on, keep pushing.

You're doing great.
Keep pushing.

(groaning)

GARY:
You're doing fine.
Keep pushing.

Keep pushing.
Come on.

Wait. I think
I see something.

I think it's the head.

(woman groans)

(woman groans over intercom,
crowd chatter)

GARY:
Come on, keep pushing.

Gary?

Keep pushing. Come on.
MARISSA:
Gary?

Come on, I can see the head.
Keep pushing now.

(loud grunting)
Come on,
keep pushing.

One more push,
one more push.

Come on. Come on.

Come on. One more time.

There you go.

Here he comes.

(grunts)
There we go.

(baby crying)
There you go.

(laughing):
There we go.

There we go.

You had a baby boy.

You got a boy.
You got...

You got yourself
a baby boy here.

Hey, he's loud, isn't he?

You got to go
to Mom, buddy.

Hey, congratulations.

(applause)

How you doing?
How you doing?

Oh, he's beautiful.

(baby crying)

Hey.

What?

Oh, boy!
What?

We're not done yet.

Oh!
(baby crying)

Gary?

(baby crying over intercom)

GARY:
We're having twins up here.

(applause)

Power's back on.

They're coming back down.

(baby crying over intercom)

Thanks.

(cooing)

Congratulations.

Just-Just one
more thing.

(Chuck groaning)

GARY:
Chuck? Chuck, wake up.

(groaning)

Come on, wake up.

Just one more thing.

Come on, buddy.

Okay, here we go.

Careful.

I don't want to start
dropping them now.

Chuck, here they come,
ready or not.

That a girl.

Let's go see
Uncle Charles.

(overlapping crowd chatter,
camera shutters clicking)

(overlapping crowd chatter)

CHUCK:
To repeat, sometimes
things work out.

Sometimes they don't.

Whether or not
you've got a crystal ball,

life is a search for answers.

And everybody's looking,

all at the same time

in the same general place,

which is probably why

we keep tripping
over each other.

Excuse me.

I'm supposed to
meet someone here
at 12 after 5:00.

She's, uh...

Well, in that case,
you're early.

Well, the-the...

Oh, pay no attention
to that.

Clock says 12 after 5:00
all day long.

It's been busted for a month.

Got to admit,
it's confusing.

Somebody ought
to fix it.

Marcia, listen, I can't make it
for dinner tonight.

No, no, not tomorrow night,
either.

Yeah.

CHUCK:
It's a miracle, fellas.

I'm telling you,

there's nothing like it.

Being there at the outset,

holding life in these hands.

I bet one of them wins
the Nobel Prize.

(chuckling)

So, who's buying, anyway?

CHUCK:
So, here's to life.

The ups, the downs,
twists, the turns.

The whole mixed up,

unpredictable mess of it.

Just remember
to keep your spirits up

and your eyes wide open.

And remember,
there's always tomorrow.