ER (1994–2009): Season 8, Episode 20 - The Letter - full transcript

LEWIS:
Elmira.

CARTER:
Mexico?

Upstate New York.

Chloe stayed at a motel
there for two weeks.

The cops told
you that?

No. It showed up
on Joe's credit
card bill.

Who's Joe?

Her husband...
or ex-husband.

He's driving up there.

Will you hold this?

Is that numb yet,
Mr. Cannillo?



My whole face is numb.

Maybe I should, too.

God knows
what she's doing

and Suzy needs
to be in school.

Ow!

Got it.
Okay, let's watch
that back cast

next time,
Mr. Cannillo.

Chloe could lose her
in a heartbeat

and we might not be
so lucky again.

I need that woolly bugger back.

It's on the tray.

You could have her declared
an unfit mother.

Then Joe gets Suzy.

If he wants her.



I don't know.

Hey, lady,
where in the hell's my leg?!

I believe
it was amputated.

Not the real one,
you moron. My prosthetic.

You sure you had
one when you came
in her, Toby?

Hell, yes. She took it.
Give it back.

What would I want
with your leg?

You tell me,
you pervert.

Can you describe
the leg?

Yeah, it looks
just like this one

only it's plastic.

Okay, we'll see if
we can't get you one.

Haleh, fly fisher
needs a tetanus shot

and can you check
central supply?

See if we have any
extra orthopedic legs.

Somebody stole
Toby's leg again.

Uh-huh.

Thanks for defending me.

The guy needs a free leg.
You got both of yours.

Is this server
down again?

A half hour.
We're loading new software.

Did we get the
LP results back
on Jessup?

Do you know where
the fax machine is?

Hey, Frank, did a match
letter come for me today?

Do I look like
the Postmaster?

They hand out match letters
at the Dean's office.

Yeah, I know that, genius.

I forgot
to pick it up

and they said
they sent it here.

You forgot
to pick it up?

I had a date.

Hey, when did this come in?

What?

This letter. Dr. Greene.

Stick it in his box.

I'll mail it
to his house.

No, it's from Dr. Greene.

To who?

Everyone, I guess.

What's it say?

Says, "Dear ER gang."

Ooh, we're a gang now?

We got a secret handshake
and everything.

While you were
in Phoenix.

Go on, Carter.

"Dear ER gang.

"So here I am out on the beach
at 5:30 in the evening.

"Elizabeth is sitting with me
drinking juice

but I'm all about the Mai Tais."

What's he reading?

Dr. Greene sent a letter.

"The sun is going down

"Rachel is dipping Ella's toes
in the ocean

as they head off on a quest
for the perfect seashell."

"Wish you were here"
would have done it.

Yeah, he doesn't
have to rub it in.

"I find myself thinking,
'You know what would make

"'this moment complete?

"'Some jogger dropping
to the sand short of breath

"'so I can swoop in
with a piece of bamboo

to perform a nice clean
intubation...'"

What's this?
It's Mark.

"'...fix the guy up
and send him off

with a good,
simple dispo.'"

The day I start fantasizing
about critical procedures

is the day I leave, too.

"Which, I guess, is my way
of saying that I miss you all

and that dingy place."

Kovac, you want
another five...?

Shh. Dr. Greene.

"Lots of times
I thought I should have chosen

"a different career
or gone into private practice

"something easier,
less grinding, more lucrative.

"But since I've been gone

( clears throat )

"I've realized that outside

"of what I'm doing right now
sitting on this beach

"with my family, staying
at County all those years

"doing what we do
on a daily basis

"was the best choice
I ever made.

"I know what you're thinking,
but trust me

it's not so hard to appreciate
once it's over."

I think
that's the Mai Tais talking.

( laughing )

Shut up. Keep reading.

"As much as part of me
would like to believe

"that the ER can't go on
without me

"the smarter part realizes
that you're an incredible group

"of doctors and nurses
who approach every day

"with such skill, compassion
and thoroughness

"that when it comes
to patient care

I know my absence
will hardly be felt."

Hmm, I'm not so sure of that.

"As for friendship
and camaraderie

"well, that's another matter.

"In order to leave,
I had to go the way I did

"but I wouldn't want
any of you to think

"that that meant I didn't value
each of you

"and the years
that we worked together

"or that I didn't have things

"of a more personal nature
to say.

"Most of you, I think,
have an idea

"of what those things might be

without me writing them down,
but still."

Go on.

There's just a couple dots
and then

"Ella is laughing
and waving for me.

Rachel's found her shell."

JARVIK:
Nothing else?

FRANK:
Probably jammed.

That damn machine's been
on the fritz all week.

WRIGHT:
Is there
a transmission report?

ABBY:
Oh, so he faxes
the letter

so he doesn't have to send
the macadamia nuts.

( laughing )

What? What is it?

This is from Dr. Corday.

( voice breaking ):
"Mark died this morning...
at 6:04 A.M.

The sun was rising,
his favorite time of day."

( clears throat )

"I sent this on
so that you might know

"he was thinking of you all
and that...

"he appre...
he appreciated knowing

you would remember him well."

( sighs )

Post it on the floor, Frank.

That last part?

The whole thing.

It ain't my heart.

Cold, that's all.

And I need some of that
breathing stuff.

PRATT:
B.P.'s 100/76.

Sally bolus?

Sally?

Bolus normal saline.

Start an insulin drip.

Why don't we work
him up first?

Where's my cart?

CBC, lytes, BUN,
creatinine.

Wait, he's a brittle
diabetic in DKA.

We need to get
his sugar down.

You don't even
know his sugar.

Get Dr. Greene.

He knows what to do.

Dr. Greene is
not here today.

Then I'll come back later.

No. I'm worried
that you might have

some fluid in your lungs,
and you have a high fever.

Fever? I'm colder than that hawk
out there on a windy day.

EKG, chest X ray,
cardiac enzymes.

DKA-- I'm telling you.

And send off LFTs.

You want his bank
statements, also?

Last time someone stole
my dictionary.

Bet $20 he's over 400.

Dr. Carter?

What?

Just... plug him in.

Dr. Weaver.

( clears throat )

Dr. Weaver?

When did...
When did this, um, get...?

You were at lunch.

And you felt the need

to post it
on the bulletin board?

Well, he wrote it
to the ER.

Do you want us
to take it down?
No.

Double MVA rolling up.
Father/daughter...

Carter and Lewis.

And George cut
himself again.

In a minute.

OLBES:
Auto versus cement truck.

Ten-year-old unrestrained
backseat passenger

Flew into the front,
hit the deployed airbag.

I'm Dr. Lewis.
What's your name?

Melissa.

Melissa, were you
knocked out?
No.

Does it hurt?

In my chest.

36-year-old
restrained driver.

with hip and pelvis pain.

LOC?
No, GCS 13.

Dan, can you tell me
where it hurts you most?

Right leg and my throat.

All right, let's page surgery.

Tell RT to get the heliox.

Has his voice changed?

Maybe a little.

Is my daughter here?

Tachy at 108.

Full trauma panel.

Follow the light
with your eyes.

BP?
HALEH:
Cycling.

Melissa, did you hurt
your neck at all?

No.
Are you sure?

( crying ):
Yes.

It's okay, sweetie, it's okay.

We're going
to take care of you.

Where's my dad?

Another doctor's helping him.

Okay, I'm going
to take this off.

I need you to be
really still.
Okay.

Like a statue.
Yes.

Okay, here we go.

Oh, good girl.

Lateral C-spine,
chest and pelvis.

Pressure's 100/70.

Is the fiber-optic
in here?
Back counter.

CARTER:
What's his pressure?
95.

Dad! Is that my dad?!

Tender at left axilla.
Might be a rib fracture.

Hemacue times three
and a foley.

Dad!

Sorry.

Hang two units of O-neg.
I need a crit.

Sats are falling-- 92.

Okay, we're going
to crike him.

Give me some cervical
traction and oral airway.

Oh, God.
What?

Large hematoma
right in front
of the trachea.

You got to be kidding me.

Can you cut
through that?

Nope. I won't be able
to see anything

through all
that blood.

Pulse ox is not
corresponding.

I can't feel
the landmarks.

We need an airway.

( sighs ):
Damn it.

What do you want
to do?

Give me the scope.

First hemacue at 13.4.

Okay, what are
we talking about?

Give me some
cricoid pressure.
On what?

Dial up the source all the way.

Hello, anybody home?

Swollen airway,
expanding hematoma

blocking trach access.

How long's he
been down?

Two minutes.

And you haven't
criked him?

Too many
vessels.
11 blade, now.

Wait. I can't see
what I'm doing as it is.

Trousseau dilator.
Pulse ox 84.

Bradying down.

Just wait one second.
I'm almost underneath it.

Cutting.
No, wait! Wait!
I said, wait!

His heart rate's 60.

Most chief residents
know he'll arrest.

And we don't
have an airway.

A mig of atropine.

Trauma shears.

What are you doing?

Just clamp.

LOCKHART:
BP's 80 systolic.

No, you'll hit
the internal carotid.

Tracheostomy.

( man breathing )

Field airway.

Sats are climbing.

Dr. Lewis?
Next door.

Call RT for a vent.
AC 12, 750cc tidal on 100%.

A little less whining

and a little more action
next time, Dr. Carter.

LEWIS:
No deformity.
No step off.

Dr. Lewis.
How about here?

GIRL:
A little.

Five by seven mass
over the scapula.

Let's have surgery
take a look at this.

Susan,
it's your sister.

What?

She's on the phone.

No, Chloe, you disappear
with Suzy

after almost killing yourself.

You don't call for three weeks.

Yeah, well, I hope so.

Are you in
an out-patient program?

Where's Suzy going to stay?

He took you back?

Oh, damn it.

No, no, not you Chloe.

You know what?

Fine, fine, fine.

Just give me the number, okay?

Yeah, Chloe, listen.

Yeah, I have to go.

Chloe, I have to go.

Yes, I love you, too.

( sighs )

GALLANT:
CT's ready.

Urine is dip negative
for blood.

Forget the foley.
Page peds oncology.

Calcified mass
in the lung field.

She has cancer?

KOVAC:
Keep your ankle cocked.

It's hot.
It'll warm as
the fiberglass hardens.

I tried to
be careful.

Don't touch it.

That was too long.
It's fine.

It's too long.
It'll itch.

Okay, I'm done.

Who's picking you up?

I took the train.

I'll get you
a cab voucher.

Keep it dry...
Plastic bag,
like before.

Come back in ten days.

GEORGE:
There were buns.

I saw on TV..

those cutters...

where you put the bun
in a covered white thing

and then press down
on the handle

and it slices
without using a knife.

I asked Lance
to get one of those

and he said those
guys are crooks

and it would break
right away.

What are you doing?

This one's
too long.

Stop it. Stop it.

George, I told you
not to touch it.

Damn it, George.

I'm sorry.

I don't care if you're sorry

I don't care if you're stupid.
You don't listen!

If you don't listen,
it'll never heal!

Kerry, I'll do it.

You should go home.

( choked up ):
I'm sorry. I'm sorry, George.

I'm sorry.

( crying )

Casper's Foley bag is full.

I know.

I don't know why I bought hoops.

They were cute.

Yeah, the three-year-old
in Four thought so, too.

Did you think it was
going to happen so soon?

He stopped treatment.

Yeah, I know, but still.

He was just here, working.

I keep expecting to see him

walk around the corner
or something.

He was 38 years old.

Too soon
by any calculation.

Yeah.

Hey, uh, when are you off?

Now.

Just don't feel
like going home.

What do you say we go out
and get plastered?

I would say
that's an appropriate response.

Susan, I have to go.

Bohan is an IUP,
12 weeks and spotting.

Ultrasound's
otherwise negative.

Okay, Carter's on for
another couple hours.

I'm just waiting on
a parent to transfer
a girl to oncology.

Okay.

I'm sorry about Mark.

Yeah.

Hey, Kerry...

Hey, Kerry,
we're going out for drinks.

You want to come?

Uh, thanks.

I'd like to, but I can't.

Yeah, sure, you can.
The Lava Lounge on Damen.

I have other plans,
but thanks anyway.

Okay.

Good night.
Bye.

Lava Lounge?

Yeah, you kind of
have to see it.

Dr. Romano needs you.

Tell him
I'm icing my ear.

He's putting a chest tube
in your patient.

What happened?

He came down
for a consult.

I canceled
that consult.

28 French on a vascular clamp.
Hang in there, Melissa.

What are you doing?

Where's her CT?

Oncology has it.
Oncology?

Incidental finding.
Likely Rhabdomyosarcoma.

She have a hemo-pneumo?
No.

Well, she does now.

What is it?

We're going to put
a tube in your chest

to help you breathe better,
okay, sweetie?

I'm in. Thoraseal.

Probably outgrew
its blood supply

and bled
into her chest cavity.

Come on,
my dog fetches faster.

Is my mom here yet?

Yeah, she's on her way.

Call the O.R., tell them
we have a red blanket.

You, get consent.

Her father's in the SICU.
You criked him, remember?

Melissa, sweetheart,
you need an operation.

What?
We're going
to take care of you.

200cc's already.
Second signature.

Let's go!

Don't worry.

( sighs )

We'll blow it off
and go some other night.

No, you changed
your shift.

Kerry, the guy died.

You should be
with your staff tonight.

They were being polite.

They're your friends.

They're people I work with.

When one of our
guys goes down

the company gets together,
and we get drunk.

It's more for the unit
than the guy who's gone.

I'm not a firefighter.

Basically the same job,
isn't it?

You put out fires.

Mark and I always
butted heads.

I was always trying
to maneuver him

gain some kind of edge

like it had to
be a competition

and he just wanted
to do his job well
and go home.

I've known this was coming
for a while

and I never imagined
that I would feel like this.

You've lost a friend.

I think I have.

All I got out of him was
that they put him on dialysis

for three days upstairs once,
and he hated it.

Then he passed out.

As in vagalled?

As in old.

Did you find
his old chart?

Still pulling it.
I need a forklift.

His temp's down,
but he's altered.

Called me son once.

Glucose is over 400--
you owe me 20 bucks--

started that insulin drip.

And he could be uremic.

You know, your basic MIMP.

Mimp?

Multiple Medical Problems.

You just make
this stuff up?

What? Multiple
Medical Problems.
MMP. Mimp.

All right, start
with a urogram

and do a repeat Chem 21.

I repeated it
twice already.
Scratch that.

Just CT his belly
and his pelvis and
then call nephrology.

Nephrology won't
take him; he's septic.

Well, then we'll
dialyze down here

until we can admit
to the unit.

Or we could turf
him to medicine

and let them figure it out.

Right now he
belongs to us.

Okay, okay, I'm going
to write this down now.

You sure you're not going
to change your mind again?

Pratt, your letter.

Where was it?

Filed "N"
for "Ne'er-do-well."

What's your first choice?

I ain't saying.

See you at the Lava Lounge,
Dr. Carter?

What?

Couple people
going out for drinks.

Don't feel like doing
much else.

Who?

Dr. Kovac, Dr. Lewis,
Abby, Haleh.

Uh, yeah, maybe,
I don't know.

I got some dictations
I need to finish.

Okay, if you change your mind.

Good night.

Bad news?

Yeah, you could say that.

Second choice?

Last choice.

Well, someone's got to get
their last choice.

Where is it?

Here.

Oh. Good for us.

I know I better be
getting my damn locker.

MAN:
Well, that was fast.

What?

You haven't even had a drink yet

and you already got
somebody's number.

Oh, my God,
what is that?

Two Sacrificial Virgins.

How much alcohol
is in there?

Enough to make you forget

you're being thrown
into a volcano.

Oh, I get it...
I think.

Do you need
some help?

Yeah.

Can I start a tab?

Sure... Susan.

Thanks.

Oh, my God, those
are our drinks?

Too tacky?

Oh, no,
not for this place.

I'm just bummed
I forgot my grass skirt.

Yeah, I was
going to wear
my coconut bra

but it's so itchy.

How did you even know
about this place?

Mark had
a birthday
here once.

It seemed
appropriate.

KOVAC:
Thanks.

Haleh?

Martini.

Coke.

Where'd they find
all this stuff?

It's kind of creepy.

I keep expecting Vincent Price
to show up.

What?

So, should we, uh, toast
or something?

Good idea.

Me?

You knew him the longest.

I'm not very good
under pressure.

Someone else go first.

( sighs )

( speaking Croatian )

What the hell.

I'll drink to that.

( chuckling )

Looks like we're going public.

Hey, Kerry.

Hi.

Well encapsulated,
discrete mass.

No extension
to the visceral pleura.

Pick-ups.

Did you talk
to Dr. Corday?

Yes, Shirley.

I'm at the top of her list.

Right after the funeral home.

( yells )

What?

Penetrated the rib cage.

We are going
to be here all night.

At least you
caught it.

Amazing how the human body
can turn on itself.

The very process we need
to grow in the womb

to regenerate ourselves,
systematically eating us alive.

And no one's sacred.

Little girls,
fathers with little girls...

Cancer-- brain cancer,
liver cancer, breast cancer.

It's... the same traitor--

the same merciless,
unrelenting predator

like time itself.

I hope you're not driving.

LEWIS:
No.

You're not on call, are you?

What are you, some sort
of Nazi bartender?

Ah, I prefer to think
of myself as magnanimous.

Hey.
Hmm.

Hey, Carter.

We thought you were
going to blow us off.

Did you pick this place?

She's outside.

Who?

John Carter makes
an appearance.

Abigail Lockhart sits alone.

( laughs )

It's a nice jacket.

Is it new?

What, do you have ESP?

No. Your car's
right there.

I saw you circle
the building twice.

Thanks for yelling out
directions.

Well, I didn't want
to encourage you.

I don't think

you should be hanging
around in bars.

You got me there.

Great letter, though.

I especially enjoyed
the surprise ending.

I didn't write it.

Well, that's
the last time

we let you read
out loud then.

Suddenly antisocial?

Well, you just missed
my table dance.

Hula?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, I'll have to stick around
for the second show.

( laughs )

How many lives
do you think?

What?

How many lives do
you think he saved?

Oh.

It's hard to say.

One a shift on average,
I guess.

Five shifts a week.

Over ten years.

It's like two
or 3,000 people.

Yeah.

Forget Superman.

I'll take Mark Greene.

Well, if I knew
you felt that way

I would have shaved my head
a long time ago.

Are you okay?

Come on.

Come on, what?

Let's get out of here.

And ditch
our friends?

I think that
they'll get over it.

Okay.

You know I
have a free tiki
mask in there.

I'll buy you another one.

Okay.

Where are we going?

I know a place
on Franklin.

The titty bar?

No.

Well...

Oh, the tattoo
parlor?

No.
No.

Where are we going?

Bill's place.

( giggles )

No. Whoops. No, thank you.
No, no, no.

Come on. There's
a meeting that
starts at 1:00.

Well, that's great,
go on ahead.

I'll catch up.
When's the last time
that you went?

What do you think?

Well, then what's
it going to hurt?

Well, it'll kill my buzz
for starters.

Come on, Abby.
One step at a time.

No. I was your sponsor,
remember? Save the dogma.

And besides, you're
screwing it up.

I'm screwing it up?
Yes.

Would you say
that I'm drunk?
Yeah.

You're not supposed to
go to meetings drunk.

I think that
they'll overlook it.

And it's voluntary.
The program is voluntary.

Well, get in the car
voluntarily.

Come on, out
of my way, Dudley.

Abby, you are going
to the meeting

even if I have
to carry you.

Carter, really,
thanks for caring.

I appreciate it,
but not tonight.

Yeah, tonight.

No. Slow down,
tough guy.

Get in the car.
No.

Get in the car.
No. No.

No.

Hey.
Hey, no!

John!

You're going.

Stop. Stop it.

Help! Help!

Aah!

Son of a bitch!

You bit me?

You dropped me.

I cannot believe
you just bit me.

I told you
to put me down.

I think that might
be bleeding.
Good.

Everything okay out here?

Yeah. Yeah.

I'm sorry, I just... I can't.

I can't go to a meeting tonight.

I won't do it.

Let's go get something to eat.

Come on, a cup of coffee.

( laughs )

Thank you.

I think I'm
going to stop
at a pharmacy.

I'll, um, get
some gauze, and
I'll bandage that.

A crate?

Four feet by two feet.

Greene gets a crate
of live lobsters

for a pericardiocentesis?

Every Memorial Day.

Wow, I gave a Heimlich
to a kid at the zoo once.

I didn't even get
a "thank you."

I've been working up
to a fruit basket.

Wait, is this the surf and turf
we had on the roof?

Yeah.

Oh, that was good.

We can't tell him.

Tell him what?

That he's dead.

We have to keep it coming.

That's a survivor
talking.
Mm-hmm.

WOMAN:
We're starting
breakfast.

You want anything?

Yeah, two mimosas, please.

Excuse me?

No, we're fine.

Started on my birthday.

What?

I didn't start drinking
when Brian hit me.

I started drinking
before that.

And I probably wouldn't
have been stupid enough

to open the door
if I hadn't been.

Self-pity excuse.

Well, it's one
of my better ones.

What time is it?

Oh, God, it's almost 6:00.

Oh, my God,
I have to work tonight.

You sober?

Ugh, unfortunately.

Good, then I have
got just enough time

to drop you off
at a meeting.

Mmm... no.

I have to go to bed.

Let's go.

Nope.

But if you quit bugging me,
I promise I'll go later.

When?

Before my shift.

CHEN:
Oh, hey, good,
you're here.

Uh, I was going
to page you

but Jerry said you
were on at 7:00.

You're on at 7:00?

Yeah, I've done it before.

What is it?

It's your homeless guy.

Six beat run of ectopy.

Well, how long
has that been going on?

Almost an hour.

I needed to start lido,
but I couldn't get a directive

in his chart,
and he won't tell me.

( muttering ):
She doesn't listen.

70 milligrams
I.V. load

and then start
a drip at two
per minute.

Wait, so he's
full code?

There he goes again.

I don't know.
He was like

Greene's private
patient or something.

Yeah, we lost
his pressure.

Mr. Ervin?

No pulse.

Okay, starting CPR.

You sure?

No.

Slow PEA.

Mig of epi,
prep an amp of atropine.

Well, guess that
clears it up.

Intubation tray.

I'll do it.

Uh, 7.5 ET
and a three mac blade.

V fib.

Okay, charge
paddles to 200.

No pressure,
no pulse.

And clear.

All right, charge
again to 300.

Back to sinus.

I've got a pulse.

Tough old bird.

Okay.

20 of etomidate,
eight of Pav.

Wait, wait, wait.

Carter, I think
he's trying to talk.

( muttering ):
Dr. Greene...

No...

What?

No tubes...

and no shock.

What did he say?

He said, "No more."

( footsteps )

Thanks for
destroying
my night.

Did you get it?

Bled like stink.

Control was nearly
impossible around
the ribcage.

I was inside and
outside the chest
on the tonsil.

Did you get it?

Yeah, I got it.

Resected fully.

Margins are clear.

How's Daddy?

Breathing over the vent.

Reflexes fully intact.

Should be extubated
by this afternoon.

It was lucky
they got plowed

by that cement truck.

These suckers rate 50% mortality
once they break out.

( sighs ):
I'll tell Mom.

You should get some sleep.
You look like crap.

Dr. Romano?

Are you sure you got it?

I got it.

CARTER:
The only thing
he's been consistent about

is not wanting any
medical treatment.

You know, if he had discussed
this with Dr. Greene

then there should be
a note in the charts.

Well, maybe Dr. Greene
expected to be here.

( woman speaking Italian )

Fine.
He's your patient.

I have no idea
what you're saying.

I'm sorry,
I don't...

Should someone
save him?

No.

I don't understand.

Arrivederci.

What's the
problem, Pratt?

I don't speak
Portuguese.

That's Italian.

That either.

( speaking Italian )

Grandma was
baby-sitting

and he woke up
with this rash.

She can't tell me
if he's got any allergies

and I can't find
the parents.

Strawberry.

What?

Strawberry.

Jelly, jam.
Maybe cereal.

Probably eating it
before he went to sleep.

Oh.

Hey, um, you
know anybody
at Northwestern?

Yeah, I know
a few people.

Well, could you
do me a favor
and call them

and tell them
that they made
a mistake?

That they should
take me?

No, 'cause I'd have
to believe that.

Come on.
You know I'm good.

Too good to be
wasted at County?

I didn't say that.

Look, we're an
underserviced
community.

We need doctors.

For better or for
worse, we drew you.

Blood sugar over 400.
Good pick-up.

Yeah, thanks.

( sobbing )

Oh...

I shouldn't have sat down.

If I don't sit
down, I won't cry.

You have to sit down
eventually.

Yeah.

Can't I just pretend
he moved to the South Pacific

and lived
happily ever after?

In a way, he did.

A girl and her father

are hit by a cement truck
on the way to ballet class.

A malignant tumor
invades her chest

and we find it by happenstance.

She'll walk out of here
in a week

with not a care
in the world.

Mark walked the halls
of a hospital every day

and didn't know about his tumor
till he presented with symptoms.

Well, we save who we can, right?

It has to make
more sense than that.

You're looking
for a reason?

I miss him already.

Me, too.

I went away for five years.

I... thought of him on occasion.

Talked to him
sporadically.

But I miss him.

I thought he'd always,
always be here.

Well, it's good
to miss him.

It's the missing him
that keeps him here.

( sniffles )

Yeah.

Oh.

Hey.

( sighs )

You should write
for Hallmark.

( chuckles )

I have hidden talents.

I'm sorry.

No, no, it's okay.

I should get back to work.

I have a pilonidal cyst
in Five

waiting to be lanced.

Give it to Pratt.
He needs the humility.

Nah, it'll be cathartic.

Where'd you get that?

What?

The combination.

Oh, Personnel.

Pratt matched at County.

Yes, I know.

He keeps bitching about it.

He needs a locker.

Thought I'd spare Elizabeth
the chore.

Heard you had some trouble
with Romano yesterday.

He was right.

I took too long
making a decision.

Well, you don't have
that luxury anymore.

Never really thought I did.

( unfolding paper )

Mark's gone.

That means you've been here
longer than any other doctor.

People will look to you
to step in and fill the void.

Big void.

Yes, it is.

( voice breaking ):
I can't do this.

Will you do this?

Hmm.

Thank... thank you.

Shotgun to the face.

This is going
to be fun, huh?

Cheaper than
plastic surgery.

How's the bite?

I'm not howling
at the moon.

There is no moon.

How'd it go?

What?

The meeting.

It was boring.

You went?

Yeah, I just said
it was boring, didn't I?

Sorry, they didn't
give me a card.

You went for you

or because
you promised me you would?

Is this guy going to
look like hamburger?

More like, uh, ground chuck.

Lovely.

I went for you.

( vehicle approaching )

You're going to need
some more people.

Why?

( screaming ):
No...!

Come on.
Hard restraints.

No I.V.?

Got in 20 of morphine
before he pulled it out.

Sir, we need you
to hold still.

Come on, Gallant,
keep him on the table.

100 of Fent, two of ativan.

Page Surgery, Plastics,
and Head and Neck.

Could be PCP.

Or the gunshot wound.

Sir, we're going to help you,
but you got to hold still

while we get the morphine
into you.

Okay, pressure
100/80.

Pulse 150.

Get access.
We need to sedate him.

Give me 7.5 E.T.

Won't be able to use it.

Break open lap pads
and a crike tray.

Gallant, hold down his arm.

Seven steriles,
and an 11 blade.

Drape his neck.

All right,
Fent's in.

Get some O2 on him--
100% by mask.

I'm pushing meds.

Gallant. Gallant.

Okay, okay, okay.

He's settling down.
Betadine.

20 of Etomidate.

Are we tubing him
or criking him?

Tubing him.
Criking him.

I just want
to take a peek.

All right, Bradying down.

( groans )

Yeah, he aspirated
too much blood.

Open the crash cart.

All right,
Gallant

I need you to
unroof his jaw

and hold it
out of the way.

I need to see
the epiglottis.

Mig of atropine.

Susan, just take
your finger

and hook it under
his tongue.

I can't do this.

Don't you move,
Gallant.

Just abduct
the mandible.

I need to sit down.
Don't move!

V-tach.

All right,
I'm in.

Let go, Gallant.

Charge to 200.

Hyperventilating.
Sats are 90.

Hold on, hold on.
Sinus rhythm.

Okay, full trauma panel,
c-spine, chest and pelvis.

Gallant,
why don't you go outside

and get yourself some air.

You want a facial C.T.?

Yeah, that's a good idea.

Why don't we get
a full head series?

Call R.T., let's get a vent.

Give him four of ativan
and seven of pav.

Nice work, John.

Bet that was a new one.

Yeah. Yeah.

Look, I'm sorry.

Uh... I just thought
I was going to be sick.

It's better if you
keep your head down.

( sighs )

It'll be okay.

It just, uh, just caught me
by surprise, you know?

Relax. Take a minute.

You know, sometimes
I don't think I can do this.

You know,
there's two kinds of doctors.

There's the kind
that get rid of their feelings

and the kind
that hold onto them.

If you're going
to hold onto your feelings

you're going to get sick
every once in a while.

That's part of it.

You know,
people come in here

and they're sick

and they're bleeding,
and...

sometimes they're dying.

And they need our help.

And helping them is more
important than how we feel.

( sighs )

But hell, I've been
doing this eight years--

I still get sick.

Take another minute.

Did he go up?

O.M.F.S., E.N.T.,
and Plastics all in.

Both carotids
and I.J.s intact.

He must have turned right
when the blast hit him.

Good.

How's he doing?

Oh... he'll
be all right.

How are you?

( sighs )

Ask me tomorrow.

Good night.

Good night.

He might need
some fluid soon.

Nah. Morphine
boluses of ten.

I heard you were gone.

No, I'm still here.

Good.

You know, I don't like
nobody else helping me.

I know.

You've always treated me
like a man.

Just try and relax.

( alarm sounding )

What's that?

That monitor's just
a little sensitive--

that's all.

I'm scared.

There's no reason to be.

Everything's okay.

I could have been
a better person.

I could have
done more.

You did enough.

Stay with me.

It won't be much longer.

I'll stay right here.

Let me see.

I think I singed
my eyebrow.

I need to see.

You thought
it was a good idea

to put kerosene
in your barbecue?

I thought it was
lighter fluid.

Well, it doesn't look burnt

but I'll check for corneal burns
with an ultraviolet light.

I need everything
documented--

Workers' Comp.
You're a chef?

It was my summer
office party.

Oh, I don't think that counts.

Ah, any word on the
air-conditioning?

Yeah, they think they might
have it fixed by winter.

Ah, I can't
work like this.

You want a Big Stick?

No. Why did I
buy these shoes?

'Cause they
were cute.

Some help here.

Yeah, what is it?

Car rammed into a picnic
at Lincoln Park.

I got three rigs
right behind me.

John?
Yeah, I got it.

Intubated, regular
pulse, good sats.

Get neurosurgery.

Warn C.T. they're
going to get busy.

A 12-year-old boy

B.P. 100/60,
pulse 120.

Hey, I'm Dr. Carter.

What's your name?

What's that?

Okay, we're going
to take care of you.

Somebody set me
up a 30 French.

A thorocostomy
tray in Two.

Trauma panel, dip a
urine, spin a crit

call for a portable chest,
and have two units of...