ER (1994–2009): Season 8, Episode 16 - Secrets and Lies - full transcript

Previously on E.R.:

Well, yeah, I had a life
before John Carter.

If you want someone
with no history

you're gonna have to
find yourself a virgin.

No, I'll settle for someone

who isn't hung up

on somebody else.

I am not going home.

I am taking you home right now

or I'm ratting you out
to Weaver.

What's it going to be?



Are you moving?
Yeah.

That freak who hit me
moved back in.

You need a place to stay,
let me help.

( clattering )

KOVAC:
Sorry.

Did I wake you?

No.

Did you sleep well?

( clears throat )

Yes, it was great.

You should have let
me take the couch.

It's not very comfortable.

No, it was. It was.

It was fine, really.



Were you cold?

I should have
turned up the heat.

I started some coffee.

Oh, right, that Turkish mud
that you like.

It'll get you going.

It'll eat a hole
in your stomach lining.

It's all right if, um...?

Yeah, uh, you can use
the bathroom.

I was just going
to take a shower.

I'll only take
a minute.

( whistling )

Oop.

( humming )

( singsong ):
Susan. It's John.

Carter?

Time to get...
Carter?

Hey, I was just trying
to wake you up on your machine.

I'm up.

I brought coffee.
I brought bagels.

We were going to catch
the 7:30 yoga, right?

Uh, oh, I forgot.
I'm sorry.

You're out early.

I was over
at Mark's.

Mark Greene?

He's having some trouble.

I spent the night.

On the couch.

Come on up.

I'll take a shower

and then we'll go, okay?

Are you coming?

LEWIS:
He's a friend.

CARTER:
Good friend, I guess.

Oh, would you drop it.

Lonely, too, I bet,
with Elizabeth moving out.

Nothing happened.

Were you even going to tell me
that you went over there?

Well, I hadn't
thought about it.

Sounds like there's something
you don't want me to know.

Something you don't want
to tell me.

This petty, sarcastic side
of you is not appealing.

Oh, right, you'd be cool
if I spent the night over at...

Abby's?

Not Abby's.
I was going to say Darla's.

Darla? Who the
hell is Darla?

Radiology.

The one with
the collagen lips

and the fake...?

They're not fake, are they?

( sighs )

You were going
to say Abby.

No, I wasn't.
Yes, you were.

So, now you can
read my mind?

Well, it's not much
of a challenge.

But if you spent
the night at Abby's

I'd kill you.
See, that's
a double standard.

No, it's not. I'm
not attracted to Mark.

You're attracted
to Abby.

You were attracted to Mark.
No, he was
attracted to me.

And thanks for not denying
you're attracted to Abby.

How did this suddenly
become about me?

You're the one
who spent the night

over at an old boyfriend's
house.

He's not my
old boyfriend.

He's like an
older brother.

And I don't want
to sleep with him.

Well, I don't want
to sleep with Abby.

Susan, John.

Take this one.

Got a head injury...

Not on
for ten minutes.

Tell me this is an easy one.

Cruella De Vil here
had this guy

trussed up in some
sort of love swing

suspended from
the ceiling.

He swore to me he weighed 275.

The torture swing
is guaranteed

to 350 pounds.

He pulled the eye screws
right out of my ceiling.

MAN:
He's 400,
if he's a pound.

Look, guys, grab on.
I think I ruptured

a disc getting him on the ride.

Hey, Gallant,
get over here!

LEWIS:
Just when you think
you've seen it all

working in the ER.

( muffled ):
It hurts...

CARTER:
What's he trying to say?
He said it hurts.

Why is he still
wearing a mask?

Refused to take it off.

40-year-old male

six-foot fall
to his buttocks

complains of pelvic pain,
can't walk.

BP's 160/95;
pulse 110.

LEWIS:
What's your name, sir?

No, no names.

Do you know where you are?

A hospital?
CARTER:
Frank, what's open?

Trauma One.

Everything he's wearing
is mine.

You cut it,
you buy it.

Hey, Malik, Abby, you guys free?

LEWIS:
CBC, dip a urine,
portable chest and pelvis.

What is that?
A tail.

Careful, it's attached.

Pure horsehair.

That's mine, too.

Check his chest.

I need you to take
your hood off, sir.

No!

I need to check
your eyes and ears.

Use the little flaps.

You have any pain here,
sir?
No.

MALIK:
Sinus tach.

How about in here?

( man yelling )

No hemotympanum.

Pulse ox is 98 on room air.

Pupils equal
and reactive.

Chest is clear,
no rhonchi.

( grunting ):
Knees up.
( man groaning )

Buck up, wimp!

Am I paralyzed?

No, you probably
bruised your butt.

We'll take some
x-rays to make sure.

We have to take your
outfit off, sir

the zippers
screw up the x-ray.

Could I keep my hood?

Sure.

What's going on in here?

Titrate 10
of morphine.

Ouch!

Careful!

Is that a tail?

LOCKHART:
Pure horsehair.

It's attached.

Is your hand all right?

Fatso fell on me.

Well, that's dislocated.

Should get an x-ray of this
before I try and reduce it.

Thank you.
I'm not leaving.

He's got $2,000
worth of my stuff.

I can do it here

but it's going
to hurt like hell

and you'll probably have
to wear a splint

for about six weeks.

Can I wear it
over my glove?

You could always file
for workman's comp.

It's a job-related
injury.

Sure, it'll fit
over your glove.

Then do it.

This is really
going to hurt.

All right, here we go.

One, two, three.

Ooh.

All yours.
What about my hood?

You can go with him.

We'll get an x-ray
of that finger

make sure there's
no fracture.

Malik, hand series.

Show's over, people.

Go back to work.

So, what was the
tail attached to?

Believe me,
you don't want to know.

We should have
sold tickets.

Hey, what's this?

I think it's hers.

Who, the mistress of pain?

What, after all that bitching
about her stuff

she left it here.

What does she have
in this thing?

I don't want to know.

I do.

Come on. I'll
take it to her.

Let's take
a little look first.

No, just take a peek.
No.

Not particularly.

You guys are boring.

GALLANT:
Hey, you need me
anymore, Dr. Carter?

( gasps )

Whoa!
Oh, my God.

Nobody could ever
actually use that

could they?

What is that?

Is that a...?
Yeah, I think so.

What? What?
( laughing )

Ooh, whoa...

Come on, guys.

This is a patient's
personal property.

Oh, God.
No kidding.

What's this for?

( air hissing )

( screams )

Oh! That is disgusting.

That is disgusting.

( chuckles ):
Eww...

Gallant, catch.

( Lewis laughing )

Uh...

What is that
big purple thing?

Oh, no.

God, is that an
on-off switch?

( Lewis gasps )

Wow...

That does not occur in nature.

Oh, this is scary.

Oh, Carter.

Come on. Try it on.

Get away from me
with that thing.

No, I promise I won't tighten
the straps.

What do you think?

Should I quit my day job?

Dr. Kovac...

WEAVER:
Do you have any idea what kind
of financial liability

you could have opened
this hospital up to?

What if I'd been a patient
who just happened to walk in?

Kerry, we were just blowing off
a little steam.

Yeah, well, do it
on your own time.

And with a medical student
in the room?

Wh-What were you thinking?

Were you thinking at all?

Who does this
belong to?

Did someone bring th-this...
this thing into the workplace?

I think that
we're all aware

that our behavior
was inappropriate....

Inappropriate,
unprofessional

offensive.

Who does this belong to?

Huh?

A patient.

A patient.

We treated her
for a dislocated finger

but, uh, she left her bag.

So you decided
it would be fun

to pilfer through
a patient's belongings.

Dr. Kovac, you're
a senior attending.

Do you have anything
to say for yourself?

Dr. Lewis?

Abby?

Uh, we're all sorry...

Damn right,
you're sorry.

I'll contact Human Resources.

I'll try to get them not
to convene a hearing

which, I might add

this department can ill afford
right now.

But I'm putting
you all on notice

I will not tolerate
another episode

of inappropriate
behavior

from anyone.

Is that clear?

Is that clear?!

Yes.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
Yes.

Get this thing back
to its rightful owner.

And let's hope
she doesn't notice

her belongings
have been disturbed.

Thanks a lot,
girls.

What?

I asked you not
to touch that bag.

You could have left.

No one was keeping you here.

Carter's right.

We didn't want to
open it; you two did.

I wonder what
she's saying
to him in there.

Well, we should
have told her

that Gallant
wasn't involved.

You should have told her

that Luka and I
weren't involved.

Oh, you were that kid
in elementary school

who always told, right?

You all right?

Yeah, I'm great.

( doors slams open )

She moved out?

Yeah, that's the rumor.

No rumor-- Shirley told me.

Wait.
How does Shirley know?

She changed her phone number

on the surgical emergency
contact sheet.

It over what happened
with their little girl?

That is so sad.

Did she move
all her stuff out?

She's too much woman
for him.

Hey, if you
ladies are done

with the stitch
and bitch

can I get some
work done?

I'm surprised
it lasted this long.

Poor Mark.

Yeah, it's
really too bad.

Has Psych been down
to see the woman in Six?

The barker?

No, but she tried to bite
one of the Salvadorean sisters

from housekeeping.

"Chandra"
from Human Resources called.

Said she'd be upstairs
for an hour.

Tell Dr. Kovac I'll be upstairs.

He can page me if he needs me.

Uh, Kerry, can I talk
to you for a minute?

It's about what
happened this morning.

I'm heading up
to Human Resources right now.

Well, I think it's only right
to tell you

that I was, uh, really
the instigator.

Carter, Gallant, Kovac

they were all opposed
to me opening that bag.

Well, what about Abby?

I-It was me.

If there's going to be

any disciplinary
consequences

I should be the one
held responsible.

Susan, I appreciate
you coming forward

but they're all adults.

They could have chosen
to leave the room

or refuse to participate.

I mean, when I entered,
it was clear

that everyone present
was involved.

Anything else?

No, that's it.

Oh!

Excuse me.
Do you know where Room 224 is?

End of the hall,
on your left.

Thank you.
Mm-hmm.

( sighs )

I thought I was late.

You are late.

LEWIS:
Does anyone know how long
this is supposed to last?

KOVAC:
All day, I think.

What are they going to do,
show us videos, or something?

Sexual harassment videos.

Role playing and long lectures
is what I heard.

KOVAC:
Role playing?

Acting out
inappropriate
behavior.

You two should excel at that.

Would you drop it.

No, I won't drop it.

Yeah, well, at least
I'm not the one

who put that thing
in her locker.

( scoffs ):
Right.

I didn't.

( chuckles ):
Don't look at me.

Luka?

( laughing )

But you should
have seen her face.

God, I wish
I had a camera.

This isn't funny.

Sure, it is.

No, it's not.

( chuckling softly )

This is going to be
a very long day.

LEWIS:
I think that's Whitman.

What?

Well, somebody erased
most of it

but "...to be surrounded

by a beautiful, curious,
breathing, laughing..."

That's "I Sing
the Body Electric."

Oh, yeah.
I know that one.

You know Whitman?

Don't sound
so surprised.

No, it's just...
most people don't.

Yeah, well, Fame.

You know, the movie,
it was in that.

Please!
I love Fame.

I've seen it, like, 30 times.
I wanted to be Coco.

* I sing the body electric,
I celebrate *

* The me yet to come...

( cup rattling )

How long are we

going to wait?

This thing was supposed
to start at 8:00.

Probably got held up
by the snow.

We all got here.

I say we go.

I say we wait.

He speaks.

So what if he's late?
We were told to report

to room 224 at 0800.

I'm here, and I'm
going to stay here

until someone
in charge

tells me
to do otherwise.

And I suggest
you all do the same.

"0800."

This ain't the Marines,
Gallant. At ease.

It's the Army,
Dr. Carter.

Yeah? Well, I don't think

anybody's going
to court-martial you

because a guy didn't show up
for a lecture.

KOVAC:
Gallant's right.
We should wait.

I don't want to have to come
here again next Saturday.

GALLANT:
Abby, please!

We're in a public building.

I know.

Nobody's here.

I'm here.

LEWIS:
Maybe this is
the punishment.

Sitting in this room.

Maybe they're
watching us

to see how we all respond.

Like a test?

Sure. Hidden cameras
recording us

for research
or something.

Watching to see
how we react
to the stress.

How alliances grow

how our social structures
break down under pressure...

Like on Survivor.

You watch Survivor?

Yeah. It's a great show.

( scoffs )

All the backbiting
and the lying.

It's human nature
at its most venal.

Reality television:
It's one of

the Four Horsemen
of the Apocalypse.

Have you ever watched it?

No.

Then shut up.

I have a confession to make.

You put the dildo
in Weaver's locker?

I watch Fear Factor.

Oh, my God.
I love that show.

Did you see
the last one

where they were
bobbing for apples

with the...?
And the snakes...

were climbing
into their hair

and their mouths.

I thought that television was
just a vast wasteland.

Oh, I'm sorry. I meant
to watch La Boheme
on PBS last night

( in affected voice ):
but I had to go
to the symphony.

( Lewis laughs )

I watch television,
just not that dehumanizing crap.

I mean, seriously,
what's next?

Televised executions?

Bear baiting?

Torture Channel?

What is your problem today?
What are you so pissy about?

You know what my problem is.

You are kidding me?
Still?

What?
You are still
mad about that?

You know what,
John? Grow up.

What? Oh, come on, say it.

I spent the night at Mark's
the night before last

and he won't
let it go.

I slept on the sofa.
I was on the couch.

He thinks I slept with Mark.

Can we not talk about this here?

Several years ago,
Mark had a crush on me.

Now we're friends, friends

which is more than
I'm going to be able

to say about us
if you keep it up.

All right, okay, yeah,
a harmless night

spent in a recently
single man's apartment

who's still desperately
in love with you.

Mark is not in love with me.

KOVAC:
Who's recently
single?

Green. Corday left him.

When did that happen?

Couple weeks ago.
Where was I?

over there
if he didn't
really need me.

Well, if he really
needed you...

He's a friend.
I helped him out.

I'm sure you did.
I'm not
discussing this

with you anymore.

What kind of emergency?

None of your damn business.

Are they getting a divorce?

I don't think so.

You know, when you find
out why I was over there

you are going to
feel very small.

So, tell me.

Very, very small.

So, tell me.

Abby's been sleeping
on my couch.

Nothing's happened.

Yeah, I needed a place to stay
until I found a new apartment

and Luka... said
I could stay with him.

LEWIS:
You're probably more
upset about that

than my staying at Mark's.

What?
No. Right.

I'm not.
Carter's still
stuck on you.

All right, can we change
the subject, please?

Uh, now you want to
change the subject.

How 'bout
them Bears, huh?

What?

Football?

I don't watch
American football.

Well, they need
to beef up their defense.

But I think they'll be
real contenders next year.

KOVAC:
I watch basketball.

Let's talk about the Bulls.

Bulls stink.

How long were you
in the Army, Gallant?

I'm still in the Army.

Reserves.

They're paying
for my med school.

So, they can call you up

at any time?

Yeah, they can.

I don't think
they will, not yet.

You're not worried?

I'd be fine
if they did.

With everything that's going on?

I wish they'd
give me a gun

put me someplace
where I could use it.

I'm ready to go if
my country needs
me, yes, ma'am.

Luka was in
the Army, right?

Yeah?

All Croatian men
are required

to serve in the military.

Hmm.

My brother Eric's
in the Air Force.

He's in Saudi Arabia.

He a pilot?

No, he's
an air traffic controller.

I worry anyway.

My brother Gavin's in the Air
Force, munitions specialist.

Is he overseas?

No, Texas

but he, uh, thinks
they're going.

My younger brother
Frank is in the Marines
out of Pendleton.

My sister Carol's
on the Carl Vinson.

How many brothers and sisters
do you have?

Six.

All in the service?

Everybody who's
old enough.

Steve, he's only 14.

Patriotic bunch.

Ah, it's the
family business.

My father's got 26
years in as an NCO.

That's only five.

You only named five kids.

You said there were six
in your family.

Yeah, my twin
sister, Susan.

She's the black sheep
of the family.

Teaches Head Start
in DC.

That's disgraceful.

Yeah, we try to hide her
when company comes around.

How did she manage
to stay out
of the military?

Sounds like a prerequisite
in your family.

Well, she has
cerebral palsy.

What does your dad
do, Dr. Lewis?

My dad?

Yeah.

He's a test pilot

for Barcalounger.

( laughing )

He sits on his
ass all day

in front of the television

trying to get
his cholesterol level over 400.

Oh, is he succeeding?

He's dedicated.

He'll get there or die trying.

Hmm.

What does your dad
do, Dr. Kovac?

My father's a painter.

Not houses. Art.

Abstracts, mostly.

He's good.

Really?

Yeah.

I mean, not that

he's ever made
a living at it...

He's a train conductor in
Zagreb, so that pays the bills.

I didn't know that.

You never asked.

GALLANT:
Abby?

Oh, I have absolutely no idea
what my father's doing.

Dr. Carter?

What?

What does your dad do?

Oh.

Spends the family trust fund.

He manages several
of my family's investment funds.

Sits on some
corporate boards.

The family
investment funds?

Carter's loaded.

Really?

How loaded?

Think Bill Gates.

Not that rich.

Okay, Paul Allen, then.

How much are you worth, Carter?

Me, personally? Almost nothing.

Okay, your family, then.

I have no idea.

Guess.

I don't know.

A lot.

50 million?

Hundred million?

200 million?

500 million?

Honestly, I don't know.

Oh, my God.
I knew you were rich.

I didn't know
you were that rich.

Gamma's money.

How old are you, 30?

Thirty-one.

How'd you manage
to last this long

without some girl
marrying you?

( laughs )

Uh, we come with
a built-in gold digger alarm.

My grandmother installs them
at birth.

And I didn't set it off?

You better have
that thing checked.

It's embarrassing.
You know, everybody assumes

when you grow up with money,
everything's great.

Yeah, it must
have been hard

growing up in the mansion.

Was Gamma too cheap
to heat the pool?

( laughing )

Money isn't everything, Susan.

That's easy for you to say.

KOVAC:
We never had
much, you know.

Always struggled,
but we were happy.

Yeah, same here. I never knew
we didn't have money.

I always had everything
I needed:

presents at Christmas,
clothing, food.

700 million?

Hey, I didn't ask to be born
into this.

( knocking )

( door opening )

Is this
the sexual harassment group?

Yeah.

Dr. Taylor called.
He is coming.

He's having
car trouble.

He asked you to wait.
He'll be here as soon as he can.

( door closes )

Great.

I wonder what's in there.

What are you doing?

This worked in college

when I locked myself out
of my dorm room.

They didn't have much.

Candy and sodas,
no coffee.

Anybody want
the root beer?

It's all yours.

Peanut butter crackers,
I love those.

Want to share?

Sure.

What's he doing?

LEWIS:
Breaking and entering.

Why?

What's that play?

What play?

The one where the two clowns
are sitting around waiting

for that guy who
never shows up.

Waiting for Godot.

Yeah, I saw that
at the Goodman years ago.

I didn't get it.

Well, it's about
the futility of life

and human
enterprise.

We're all waiting.

For what?

For fulfillment?

Love? Validation? Approval?

It's a waste
of time.

Life is an empty,
hollow

exercise filled with
pain, loss, and grief

and the only thing
we can expect

to achieve
in our lives

is our own inevitable death.

( chuckles )

LEWIS:
Wow.

That is the most
depressing thing

I've ever heard.

Aren't you glad you didn't
grow up in the Balkans?

Croatia
is beautiful.

Zagreb, Dubrovnik,
you should go.

CARTER:
Yeah, kind of a high
chance of getting

blown up, though.

Always discourages me

from adding a country
to my travel itinerary.

It's very safe now.

Then why are you here?

Barbecue.

You just can't find good ribs
in Zagreb, you know?

Not to mention spoon bread
and sweet potato pie.

Carson's.

Exactly.

So how did you get
into Weaver's locker, Luka?

It was locked.

Oh, it wasn't me.

No, I wish I thought of it.

I really do, but...

I didn't.

Gallant.

CARTER:
Clever.

Very clever to accuse
the rest of us

to throw suspicion
away from yourself.

You still haven't said
you didn't do it.

Whitman was writing
about slavery.

He was an
abolitionist.

The poem, "Body Electric."

I, uh, I minored
in English Lit at Howard.

Oh, yeah?
I was English Lit.

Where?

Penn State.

Really, you went
to Penn State?

Yes.

What, did you assume I went
to community college

because I'm a nurse?

No, I didn't mean that.

I think
you did mean it.

You did it before, too,
about the poem.

It's all right;
it's all of you, all doctors.

You all think you're
smarter than nurses

because you have an MD.

Don't drag me into this, okay?

I, I don't assume that.

Well, you're still
a med student.

You'll learn to be
condescending and dismissive.

It's a test you have to take
before you can graduate.

I got an "A."
LOCKHART:
You got an "A+."

Does anybody have a penknife
or anything like that?

I don't think that's
true of all doctors.

LOCKHART:
Sure it is.

It's a class thing.

It's part of the
educational caste system

we have in this country.

with black leather
trench coats

and the collapse
of central planning.

LOCKHART:
You all look down

on Gallant's family
because they're military.

Like there's something vaguely
pathetic about volunteering

to defend our liberties with
their lives for crappy pay.

Yeah, that's true.

I don't feel that way.

LOCKHART:
Really?

I quit med school halfway
through my third year.

I was second in my class
when I quit.

CARTER:
Second?

Really?
I didn't know that.

So, why'd you quit?

See, that's what I mean.

You can't imagine why anybody
wouldn't want to be you.

CARTER:
They tossed you out

'cause your ex-husband
didn't pay

your tuition.

Yeah, but I chose
not to go back.

LEWIS:
Halfway through
your third year?

Why not finish?
Hell, you were
over the hard part.

It was just starting
to get fun.

Because I realized
I was proud of what I do.

I make a difference
in my patients' lives.

But you can do so much
more as a doctor.

No, see,
that's where you're wrong.

I would be doing less

as a doctor.

I mean, you guys
don't get to spend

any time with
your patients.

How many
do you see a day, 30? 40?

I mean, you don't get
to hold a little kid's hand

or teach a new mother
how to nurse.

How many patients
do you have to see in a day?

Ten, maybe 12

and I'm not running
around all day

trying to clear
the board.

I made a choice.

You just can't
understand it

because it's not one
that you would have chosen.

I can't believe you
won't let me smoke this.

I got it.

Great, now we're felons.

Oh, cool.

What?

There's a bunch
of fencing gear in here.

I used to fence in school.

LEWIS:
Of course
you did.

I fence.
LEWIS:
Fencing?

LOCKHART:
You going to eat
this cracker?

LOCKHART:
No.

You really only see
ten patients a day?

I learned when
I was acting.

When were you an actor?

In college.

I should warn you,
I'm good.

Okay.

En garde.

They really
say that?

That's a nice parry.

You think they're
trying to impress us?

If they are,
it's not working.

LEWIS:
Ouch!

Doesn't that hurt?

They really are
a couple of freaks.

( chuckling )

And to think you slept
with both of them.

I never slept with Carter.

Did he tell you that?

I thought you had.

No...

that was a rumor
Carter started.

Oh, God.

That is low.

I thought so.

I haven't slept
with Carter either.

How long have you guys
been going out?

Couple months.

Wow, that definitely violates
the second date rule.

What second date rule?

My friend has this theory

that you should sleep with a guy
by the second date

because if the sex isn't good,
you shouldn't waste your time

with somebody you don't
have any chemistry with.

Mm, I don't know if Carter
and I have chemistry or not.

There have been some
almost spark moments.

I think it's either there
or it's not.

You can't force it.

Believe me, I've tried.

LEWIS:
I think part of the problem
with Carter and me is you.

He denies it, but he's
not very convincing.

Why didn't you two happen?

Timing.

Ouch.

You okay?

Yeah.

If you're hurt we should stop.

No.

Come on.

Come on. Let's go.

This is not going
to end well.

Hey

aren't you guys
tired yet?

Ow!

( shouts )

Hey.

Carter.

Knock it off.

Dr. Carter...

Cut it out,
Carter.

All right, all right...

You maniac!

You started it.

Look at this,
look at this.

You went for my face!

After you hacked
at my side.

I always thought fencing
was a finesse sport.

Sorry.

Mali seronja je popizdija...

Okay,
let me see.

Ouch!

Don't be a baby.

Crazy bastard.

Ow, ow, ow.

He was trying to kill me.

It looked like
it was mutual.

I'm I going
to need stitches?

No, you barely need
a Band-Aid.

I didn't know
you had a temper.

I can ask Abby
to come over here

and check you out
if you prefer.

What? That man
is a menace.

That

and I could
have lost my eye.

What was that for?

Just checking.

For what?

Second date rule.

What?

What?

How did you get
Weaver's combination, Michael?

Sneak a look
over her shoulder

when she wasn't looking?

When she was opening it?

It is Michael, isn't it?

Yeah, Michael.

You knew the combination

so you snuck into the lounge
when no one was looking

and you put it in there.

Why would I do that?

She said something
that pissed you off so much

you wanted revenge.

You quiet ones are always
the most dangerous.

I'm a student and I
could get expelled.

Still waters run deep.

It-It wasn't me.

( sighs )

Where were you
living before?

Scottsdale, Arizona--
land of sun.

And you decided
to move back to Chicago?

Mmm... I don't know.

The desert,
120 degrees
in the shade

never a cloud
in the sky--

kind of depressed me.

I needed to be back
where the sun doesn't
come out for weeks.

Bitter cold and
overcast skies

better suit
my temperament.

But mostly I was
running away.

From what?

A guy, what else?

Chemistry?

Tanker truck full.
Too much.

What was his name?

Charlie Dixon Dix.
He's a cowboy.

Can you believe it?

An honest-to-God cowboy.

He has the horse,
the pickup truck,
the whole deal.

I'm a walking cliché.

Was he cute?

What happened?

Mmm... it's complicated.

I'd rather not talk about it

if you don't mind.

Cowboy?

( both snickering )

So, you were in the army.

Yeah.

You see some action?

All right, sorry.

It's not what
you think it is.

Well, what do you think
I think it is?

Noble, romantic.

A crucible upon
which to test your
young manhood.

No, I'm not that naive.

Sure, you are.

LOCKHART:
Luka.

How old were you
when you became a man?

What?

When you lost
your virginity.

How old were you?

LOCKHART:
Come on.
We're playing a game.

How old?

I don't want to play.

Oh, come on.

We made a bet which one

of the five us
was the first

to lose their virginity.
Who'd you pick?

Not telling.

I picked Kovac.

No, she didn't.

( laughing )

Luka...

I don't want to play.

LEWIS:
I told you they wouldn't
want to play.

All right,
I'll go first.

I was 16.
Howie Thomas.

( snickers )

He was on the
lacrosse team...

What's wrong
with... what?

Howie...

What's wrong
with Howie?

He sounds like a plumber
or something.

I was terrified.

So was he.

It was the longest
20 seconds of my life.

( guffawing )

20 seconds?

Yeah, if you
counted foreplay.

Okay, my turn.

Mark Greene.

( shrieking )

I'm just kidding.

Just kidding, Carter.

Floyd Walker.
I was 15.

Floyd? I can't believe
you gave me a hard time
about Howie.

In the shed behind his father's
radiator repair shop.

Very romantic.

The smell of antifreeze
still turns me on.

Gallant.

You don't need
their approval.

Come on. Give it up.

( clears throat )

Okay, uh...

Tanya McBride in the balcony of
our church after choir practice.

Wow.
Your church?

Yeah, I know.

How old?

Let's see, I was in ninth grade,
so I was about 14.

All right,
we have a new leader.

Carter.

Come on.

Oh, my God,
you're still a virgin.

I was 11.

Eleven years old?

Really?

How old was she?

I don't know. 25.

You're kidding me.

Oh, my God.

She was one of the maids.

Did you pay her?

My parents did.

To have sex with you?

To be a maid.

( laughing )

Hope you gave her
a hell of a Christmas bonus.

All right.

Luka, 11.

It's going to be
very tough to beat.

Come on. You don't have
to say how old you were.

Just confirm you were
older than 11.

We can award the
prize to Carter.

I get a prize?

Don't let your imagination

run away with you.
My wedding night.

I lost my virginity
on my wedding night.

It's okay.

It's a good memory.

Hadn't thought
about that in years.

We were very young

and she was religious,
so we waited.

We loved each other very much.

It's okay. It's okay.

What were you in?

You said you were an actor
in college.

What plays were you in?

Uh, we did Hamlet.

I did Hamlet.

I played Horatio.

LOCKHART:
Who did you
play, Luka?

Um, Hamlet.

In English or Croatian?

Why would we do it in English?

Were you any good?

My mom thought so.

( chuckling )

Do you remember
any of it?

Aw, it's been a long time.

I think I remember some of it.

( clears throat )

To be or not to be:

That is the question:

Whether 'tis nobler
in the mind's eye

to suffer the slings and arrows
of outrageous fortune

or to take arms
against a sea of troubles

and by opposing end them?

That's the easy part.

To die: to sleep; no more;

And, by a sleep
to say we end the heartache

and the thousand
natural shocks...

I don't remember the rest.

To die, to sleep...
to sleep...

to sleep

perchance to dream:

aye, there's the rub.

To je ono sto trpnju
nasu stripljivom

Tako cini, jer tko bi podnio

Bic I katno vremena
zlocinstva silnika

Prezir oholica, bol...

neuzvracene ljubavi

ezobzirnost vlasti,
sporost pravde

Kad bi sam uzmogao sve
to skratiti

Tek jednim jedinim ubodom

Be all my sins remember'd.

Sorry I'm so damned late.

Spent half an hour
digging my car out

and then the battery was dead.

I appreciate
your waiting for me.

I didn't expect anyone
to still be here.

I'm John Taylor.

Please, would everybody
move down front.

I won't have to yell.

Come on. Come on. I won't bite.

Raise your hand when I call
your name if you would.

John Carter?

Here.

Michael Galant.

Uh, Gallant, yes, sir.

Uh, Luka...

Oh, boy, help me out.

Kovac.

Dr. Kovac.
Thank you.

Susan Lewis?

And that leaves
Abigail Lockhart.

Abby.

So, uh, let's begin
by reviewing

current state
and federal law

for what is appropriate
and inappropriate behavior
in the workplace.

Hey, it stopped snowing.

Yeah, it's about time.

Anybody need a ride?

I've got my car.

I'm on in 20 minutes.

You're working tonight?

Yeah? Me, too.

Well, that was fun.

Let's try to never
do it again.

Want me to give you a lift
to the hospital?

It's just a couple of blocks.

Gallant will walk me, right?
Sure.

Have your keys?

Yeah. I'll try not to wake you
when I come in.

See you guys later.

I had fun talking.

We should have
coffee sometime.

Sure. I'd love that.

Ready?
Yep.

Good night.

Night.

She's pretty great.

Who?

Abby. I didn't really
know her before.

I didn't think I'd
like her, but I do.

You want to get
something to eat?
I'm starving.

You know, you really made
a fool of yourself today.

What?

If you're worried about
Abby living with Luka

don't be. I don't think
anything's going on.

How did I make a fool
out of myself?

Well, you participated
in a duel, for one thing.

Kiss me.

Just kiss me.

Was it there for you?

It was nice.

Wasn't there for me either.

Okay, go before I change
my mind.

You sure?

I regret it already.

You know, that
gold-digger alarm

should be clanging
like a school bell.

This isn't because Mark Greene

just suddenly became
available, is it?

You know when I said
you were making a
fool of yourself?

Well, you're doing it again.

You should tell her.

Who?

Tell her what?

That you're desperately
in love with her

and can't live a
moment without her.

Really?

You're hopeless.

You'll figure it out.

Friends?

No, I hate you.

Hey...

I used to have Weaver's locker.

She never changed
the combination.

It was you!