ER (1994–2009): Season 3, Episode 10 - Homeless for the Holidays - full transcript

(Doug)
Previously on ER..

Um, uh, Charlie, right?

Yeah, you gave
me some condoms.

I have reason to believe
that we may have a worker

that's HIV positive.

Say no more.

Dr. Keaton, I‐I just feel

that if I get more experience

I'll be better prepared
for the future.

That's not how
you should be looking at it.

Best thing you can do
for me is to leave me alone.



Well, I'm sorry.
I got to work late.

Well, there's late
and...there's later.

Hating me might feel good,
but it won't change anything.

It doesn't feel good, Al.
Nothing about this feels good.

♪ It's beginning to look
a lot like Christmas ♪

♪ Everywhere you go ♪

♪ Take a look in the five
and ten glistening once again ♪

♪ With candy canes
and silver lanes aglow ♪

♪ It's beginning to look
a lot like Christmas ♪

♪ Christmas ♪
♪ Toys in every store ♪

♪ But the prettiest sight to see
is the holly that will be ♪

♪ On your own front door ♪

‐ Hi.
‐ Hi.

I was starting to think
you weren't coming.



Dr. Angelo's office
is really backed up.

What did she say?

The tests no longer detect
any viral load.

I guess the drug cocktail
is working.

Jeanie, that is great news.

Yeah. Maybe I don't have
to get a lawyer now.

Maybe the hospital
will let it go.

No, I‐I know.
It's still transmittable.

That doesn't mean the
hospital can keep

you shuffling papers
for the rest of your career.

If I still have a career.

I have a meeting with Dr. Greene
and Dr. Anspaugh in ten minutes

and I, for one,
think you're too valuable

to rubber‐stamp
admits all day long.

(female #1)
'Here you go.'

Thanks. This is on me.

No matter what happens
in there, Jeanie

this is great news.

Yeah.

Sled to work, Dr. Greene?

Uh, no. It's a Christmas
present for my daughter.

That's it?

Like you remember sliding
in those snow‐covered bluffs

with the cold wind
flying through your hair?

We didn't have too many
snow‐covered bluffs in Atlanta.

We did in Grand Rapids.

Coasted right through
rush‐hour traffic

got hit by a car.

Didn't they have
one of those dollies

that wet itself or something?

You know, every toy that I saw
in the store

had some tie‐in to
a TV show or a movie

or something I've been
too busy to see.

I mean, I don't know
what Duke Nukem was

but he looked
pretty nasty.

You made a good choice
with the sled.

Hey, you look awful.

How long you been on?

Since yesterday morning.

(Randi)
ER

‐ Mark, you ready?
‐ Uh, yeah.

Good morning, Kerry.
I just gotta change.

For you, Dennis.

Is Benton trying
to reach out and touch me?

It's a lady.

Hey, Monique.

Ah, you at the airport?

Was it canceled?

Come on. I thought we'd been
through this already.

You want the two of us
to decide?

I'm sure none of us in this room
would want anyone on our team

endangering patients
in any way.

(Donald)
'As attendings, you're closest'

'to the everyday workings
of the ER'

So, there is no
hospital‐wide policy.

Legal advises we handle
it department by department.

So if we get sued,
it's the individual

attending's butt on the line?

'Let me remind you, Dr. Greene,
if we were aware'

that there was an HIV positive
health care worker

here at county and the public
got wind of it

started filing suits

all of our butts
would be on the line.

So, HIV‐positive health care
workers can be fired

because the hospital
doesn't want to be sued?

No. In Illinois, it's forbidden
to fire any employee

because they're HIV‐positive.

In theory, but people
have been forced to quit.

Nobody's forcing
anybody to quit.

What about restricting
their duties to the point

where they're no longer working
within their job description?

I wouldn't presume to tell you
two how to run your department

but, uh, to give you an idea
of the current thinking

these are the CDC findings

Illinois state law
and pending legal cases

'and various NIH
and journal reports.'

'Now, look, I know you two'

'have had your differences
in the past.'

Do you think you can work
together and solve this?

Absolutely.

Sure.

[theme music]

[music continues]

(Doug)
'Could you put on the on card'

"Merry Christmas, mom.
Love, Doug?"

and could you make
that a rush order?

Dennis, Dennis, Dennis, what
is up with that shower, man?

I nearly froze my ass off,
this morning.

Did you hear the opera
coming through the pipes?

‐ El Figaro?
‐ Mrs. Needlebaum.

45 minutes of sing‐a‐long
with Pavarotti

and she uses up all
the hot water in the building.

(Carter)
'You get any sleep
last night?'

No. I had 15 admits.

Fifteen? Wow.

Ah, only ten more hours

and then Yuletide cheer
with the Carter family.

Oh, I feel bad
subjecting

you and your girlfriend
to my family.

Actually it's not going
to happen. Monique isn't coming.

Not at all?

No. She said she had to stay
in Baton Rouge, work.

Aw, damn.

I thought you guys
were gonna work it out, too.

It's her loss, you know?

I'll probably be a little late
with all these new patients.

Well, no worries.

Things don't really get
interesting

till my Uncle Branch
starts downing the bourbon.

Hey Carter, you got your picks
for the bowl pool?

Yeah, right here.
How much is it? Five bucks?

Twenty, mi hijo.

Twenty?
That's highway robbery.

‐ How much is in the pot?
‐ Almost $400.

You know, I'm with you for
rose and fiesta but, you know

cotton and liberty bowls, you
might wanna save your money.

Why is everyone standing around
when we're drowning in patients?

Hey, I'm on hold
with the florist.

Not anymore,
you're not.

And a Merry Christmas
eve to you.

Please don't talk
to me about Christmas.

At 5:00 a. m. this morning,
my mother decided

she had to start
the vareniki.

Those little
dumplings?

Yeah, she also picked
the predawn hour

to harassed me about dressing
for tonight's party.

So you're gonna wear that sexy
Ukrainian shepherdess outfit?

It was either that
or endure hours of nagging.

Okay. Snowmobile foot lac,
in the suture room

toddler eating
mistletoe in one

we have a slip
and fall in three.

Watch out for Carol.
It's Christmas in the Ukraine.

Is her mom making
those little dumplings?

Don't ask. Hey listen.

Hey, uh, I heard
Anspaugh's having

some kind of secret meeting.

Anything we should
know about?

We have to hammer out
a departmental policy

on HIV‐positive
health care workers.

Anybody we know?
Really?

That son of a bitch
tried to kill me!

He ain't getting this contessa
goose 'cause see, I stuffed it

trussed it, called my 83
year old grandma

Tuscaloosa to get
her marinade recipe.

I sense a good one.

‐ Oh, yeah, this gentleman‐‐
‐ Female illusionist!

'...got into a too many cooks
argument with his boyfriend'

'things got heated and he..'

She started getting chest pains.

Girl, it was like an elephant
sitting on my chest

with attitude.

‐ She was diaphoretic.
‐ I never said that!

‐ That means sweaty.
‐ Oh, yeah.

It nearly ruined my gown.

Pressure 130/95

resps 25, slightly tachy at‐‐

Tacky? Honey, this is
a Bob Mackie original.

(Kerry)
'Okay, ready? One, two, three.'

Oh!

We need a chest X‐ray,
cardiac enzymes and an EKG.

‐ Okay, miss..
‐ Understood.

I misunderstood in the mighty
morphine gender changers.

Well, we're at club cabaret
every Friday and Saturday.

Right. You gotta give
me the goose now

so we can attach an EKG
to your chest.

You want me to give you
my Christmas dinner?

Uh‐uh, Ms. Thing.

‐ Give me the damn bird.
‐ Wh‐where you gonna putting it?

With the rest
of your personal belongings.

Well, it'd better be
'cause I don't want to wake up

and see you picking your teeth.

(Kerry)
'Are you on any medications?'

Well, not besides the hormones.

Have you had chest pain before?

Well, when I get emotional.
Around that time of the month.

Mm‐hmm.

I heard it was someone
in this department that has it.

‐ Who?
‐ Uh, I don't know.

It's just the word
on the street.

A tech on three
heard it from a night guy

and now Weaver and Greene get
pulled into some secret meeting.

See, that's how rumors
get started.

Ah. A rumor.
Am I missing a good one?

Attendings got pulled
into a meeting

but they won't say
what it was about.

It's about someone
with HIV

but you didn't
hear it from me.

Randi, can you do something
with these personal effects?

They're perishable.

Oh, good. Jeanie.

Head lac in exam two.

And, Connie, if
you're not too busy..

Some folks are getting
a little too fond

of the manager part
of nurse manager.

No kidding.

‐ Carol?
‐ What?

Sorry, but mark assigned
me to triage today.

Aw, come on, guys. Why do I have
to push all the time?

I'm not your mother.

Uh, excuse me.
I need a doctor.

Okay, if you could go
back to the waiting room

and fill these out‐‐

No, I'm looking
for Dr. Ross.

‐ For a medical problem?
‐ Yeah.

You still need
to fill out these forms.

The waiting room's that way.

Hurt here?

‐ Yeah.
‐ Okay.

Uh, we're going to need a facial
and a mandibular series.

Seventy five migs of Demerol
and Phenergan, IM.

Try and rustle up
an oral surgeon, too.

Good luck with that.

Oh, and, uh..
Give me a gram of Ancef IM.

You got it.

Um, are you allergic
to any meds?

Okay, I think
that your jaw is broken.

The antibiotics will keep
bacteria from getting

into your bloodstream
at the fracture site.

But looking
at your chart here

I guess you know
the drill, huh?

Uh, "humerus fracture, 1993,
nasal fracture, 1993

"multiple visits
for sutures, 1994

"and your first broken jaw
was in December 1995 ."

I guess hubby thought
he'd go out with a bang

this year, too, huh?

‐ It was an accident.
‐ Yeah.

Your face got in the way
of his fist.

So, what if we change
the disclosure form

to include that people
might be treated

by an HIV‐positive
health care worker?

Uh, and start a witch hunt?

But we have to inform
the patients. It's the law.

Okay, I take it
you haven't read this.

Americans with Disability Act?

I don't know. What?
Proposals, addendums?

'Here, read this.'

It states that you can't
disclose one risk

without disclosing
equal risks.

Meaning?

Meaning that the patient
doesn't have

a choice
of whether they're treated

by, uh, someone with the flu
or someone with a hangover

a doc, who had a fight
with his spouse

an intern
who's been on for two days

someone with HIV.

Yeah, and Illinois law says that
not only can we not prevent

people from knowing
that they've been put at risk

but we have to tell them.

So, you'd rather follow
the Illinois law

than the federal statute.

You know, because I'm concerned

doesn't mean I'm some kind
of bigot.

Your concern can't be extended

to prevent Jeanie
from earning her living.

Nobody's talking
about firing her

but we do have a responsibility
to our patients.

What about our responsibility
to Jeanie?

She's using universal
precautions.

Are you frightened here, Mark?
Is that it?

No, I'm trying to keep us all
from being sued.

You think I want to get sued?

'But opening up Jeanie's
personal tragedy'

to public scrutiny
is the surest way to invite

frivolous lawsuits
and mass hysteria.

‐ So we break the law.
‐ If we have to, yes.

I care about Jeanie, Kerry.

But there is a larger
issue here

than your personal loyalty
to a friend.

Uh, sorry to interrupt,
but we're swamped.

Whenever you're done..

We're done now.

Mark, we haven't
even made a dent.

Would you rather jeopardize
patient care further

by sitting here
with a traffic jam in triage?

‐ Who's next?
‐ Ho ho ho.

Santa Claus?

No, that's who's next,
three hookers.

One with downstairs discharge
and two with frostbite.

I turned to the oven
for a few seconds

and he next thing I know,
he's the got

the ribbon hanging out
of his mouth.

All I could get
was the leaves.

How many berries
were on the stalk?

Maybe four?

Alright, and he wasn't vomiting?

No.

I know, buddy, this
mistletoe's good stuff

but we got to get it out.

He's been asking for juice
I didn't give him any

until you said it was okay.

It's okay.

Ah, Lily, why don't you make

a bottle half juice
half activated charcoal.

‐ Coming right up.
‐ 'Mm‐hmm.'

Uh, Mrs. Romero, we're
gonna give him a bottle

to absorb some
of the toxins, okay?

Alright, excuse me.

There you are, Ahmed.

I've been looking
for you at the shelter.

Come here.
How is he?

I changed his diaper
and there was blood in it.

In his stool
or the urine?

Ah, I'm pretty sure
it was in the pee.

Listen, I gotta get him back
home before his mom gets back.

If she finds out I brought
him here, she'll kick me out.

You need to get
his mother here, now.

Can't you just hook him up
with some pills or something?

No, I can't just hook him up
with some pills.

Get his mother here,
alright?

(Chuny)
Geez, what happened
to him?

Guy's name is John Collins.

Was drunk and sleeping
it off in Grant Park.

Some kids thought
it'd be fun

to pour lighter fluid
on him and play yule log.

He won't let us
put oxygen on him.

Kept screaming about Nick.

(John)
'Oh, my God.'

(female #2)
'He's got extensive third degree
burns of the chest.'

‐ Who is this?
‐ Guy's dog.

Barked at a mounted cop
till he came to check it out.

Randi, can you take care
of this dog?

You take care
of my Nick now.

(John)
'You take care of my Nicky.'

(Mark)
'Take it easy, Mr. Collins.'

We'll put him in a nice kennel

till you're back
on your feet, okay?

No! No kennel.
He's all I got.

Extremities are toast.
No IV, no BP either.

He needs
massive fluids.

You got to promise me, doc.
Doc, you promise me now.

Mr. Collins, we're gonna take
care of your dog.

Oh, you just be quiet for now.

On my count, everyone.
I'm gonna need a cut‐down tray.

One, two, three.

Alright, Chuny,
get me a blood‐gas

with a CO Level.

Get a CBC, chem‐20
portable chest for openers.

Mm‐hmm.

Is he okay?

He's got a mass
in his abdomen.

Once I get inside,
I'll know how bad it is.

‐ Inside? Is it bad?
‐ Yeah.

Ultrasound's ready.

Did you get a hold
of the mother?

She isn't home.

What about any other adult
relatives?

There aren't any.

I take care of him
when Gloria's not around.

Okay. Hang on.

[crying]

Well, there it is.

He's hemorrhaging
into his kidney.

Let's get lytes, CBC

CT of the abdomen,
get a chest film for mets.

And, Haleh,
page the OR, too, will you?

What does it say?

Ahmed's got something
called a Wilm's tumor.

You see that area
right there?

That fluid?

‐ The light gray?
‐ Yeah, that's blood.

Tumor's invading
his kidney.

That's why you see
all the blood in his diaper.

I should have brought
him in before, huh?

I gotta get him
to the operating room.

I knew he was sick.

[sighs]

Is he gonna die?

You did a good thing, Charlie.

Now, use the mets and dissect
the right colon

off the anterior surface
of the tumor.

Should I retract
the tumor laterally?

Yep. Very gently.

That's it.

You say that the baby‐sitter
brought the child in?

Yeah. Mother was
nowhere to be found.

Dr. Ross knows the girl
that brought him in.

(Kerry)
'Now retract
the tumor laterally.'

Right.

And tie off
the renal vein.

And artery and ureter
and transect it.

(Kerry)
'Slowly now. Avoid the left
renal vessels.'

'Good.'

Now, free up the kidney
and we'll take it out.

Okay.

All the pretty twinkly lights.

And that's why
you were dancing

with the elves
at Marshall field's.

I'd like some
Sherry now.

What's your name, ma'am?

I'm Blitzen

the most overlooked
of all the reindeer.

[sighs]

Blitzen.

It's your
lucky day, Beth.

You only have
a fractured cheekbone.

What does that mean?

It means you can go home.

Unless you don't want to.

There's a shelter
called Hope House.

‐ 'It's for women and children.'
‐ I don't have kids.

That's okay.
You can go there by yourself.

‐ They've security.
‐ He'll find me.

They have reciprocal agreements

with shelters
all over the country.

(Maggie)
'You could go anywhere
you want‐‐'

Sweetheart, are you okay?

I knew I should have
fixed that top step.

It's just, I've just been
so busy.

You forgive me?

Can you forgive
me, honey?

I love you.

That's my girl, yeah.

Is she going to be alright?

We're actually not done,
Mr. Lang.

(Maggie)
'We still need
to do a head CT'

'facial tomograms,
put her on IV Antibiotics‐‐'

Is that gonna that take long?

Well, we'll do the best we can

with the holidays, you know.

'Anyway, family isn't allowed
in the exam area.'

Malik, could you show
Mr. Lang to chairs?

Sure.

I'll be right
outside, honey.

So you want to hear some more
about those shelters?

No good?

No, and I've tried PB&J,
cookies, fruitcake.

Nobody likes
fruitcake.

I thought dogs
ate everything.

[beeping]
Why don't you take
him down to the morgue

and have him beg
for some table scraps.

Hmm, that's Mr. Collins.

Maybe he knows
what you like to eat, huh?

[barking]

I think
he likes you.

How you doing?

[whining]

What's going on?

We were moving him
up to the burn unit

and he started having
shortness of breath.

BP's 80 palp,
tachycardiac at 140.

Alright, give me 40 mig IV,
bolus of lasix.

We need to intubate 7.5.

He's bradying down.

Rate's 40, no pulse.

Aw, damn it.
Give me a mig of atropine.

‐ Start CPR.
‐ Asystole!

Alright.
Let's give him an amp of epi.

Come on, Mr. Collins.
Come on, come on.

I don't care
if psych is backed up.

She thinks she's a reindeer.

Well, dangerous?

You know, she bruised an elf.

Excuse me, miss.

Who's the rocket scientist
that parked a Bentley

in the ambulance bay?

The Bentley's mine.

Actually, my employer's.

Ah, miss, I'm looking
for a missing person.

Take a number, sir, the line
starts in the waiting room.

The‐the woman I'm looking
for has a hand puppet.

Did you say puppet?

Hey, you found him
something to munch on.

Uh, he found it himself.

Are dogs supposed to eat
chicken bones?

I‐is that a chicken?

Charlie, hey.
Ahmed's out of surgery.

‐ He's going to be okay.
‐ I can take him home now?

Well, no, It's gonna take
him some time

to recover from surgery.

Oh, man, Gloria's going
to be pissed.

I may have to call DCFS.

‐ Your gonna knock her out?
‐ I'm not knocking on anybody.

That little boy's been sick.

The mother should have
seen that weeks ago.

Gloria didn't know.
She just found out.

‐ She sounds really worried.
‐ Mm‐hmm?

Come on, or she'll throw me out.

So you live with her?

So you lied to me
about the shelter.

Come on, please.

Alright,
I'll give her a chance

but I'm not promising
you anything.

Okay?

You're eating hospital food?
You're that desperate?

Come on, let's get some lunch.

‐ Boo.
‐ You scared me.

I thought the surgery
went really well.

Yeah, it did.

My 3 o'clock hernia
was canceled.

‐ Uh‐huh?
‐ So I am free tonight.

So I figured, if you hadn't made
any other plans I could make

my traditional Christmas
phone call to pizza ring.

‐ I actually got a family thing.
‐ Oh.

And I already asked
a friend to go with me.

Well, duh, I understand.

‐ It‐it was last minute, anyway.
‐ Christmas Eve.

It's okay, I'll just stay home
and rent a movie.

It's what
I usually do.

No. You know what?
Let me talk to my buddy.

Because, ah, he was tired
earlier.

He may prefer
to go home and crash.

So, um...yeah.
Yeah, let's do something later.

Pizza sounds great.

Gingerbread, it always reminds
me of Christmas at home.

You ever do that? You ever make
gingerbread at home?

You know, in a civilized society

people acknowledge each other
when they speak, Charlie.

I'm just trying to make
conversation.

Want to talk about Christmas
at my home?

Sure. Where is it?

Home is where my mom
got bombed

out of her mind
and brought home

some fat, smelly
drunker after closing time.

Then she'd passes out
giving him the idea

he'd rather sleep with me.

Alright, so,
we know why you left.

'How far did you run?'

From Cleveland.

Did you call her lately?

She's probably
moved on by now.

She never stays anywhere
for very long.

Alright, both of these
plus the three Danish

the two packets of cocoa
and the two dinner rolls

she's got in her pocket.

Great. Thanks.

‐ Hey.
‐ Hey, man.

I have now officially
changed every drain

and lanced every boil
in this hospital.

Thirty four hours, man.

I'm ready
for some of that, uh..

...what's that Jell‐O thing
you said your cook makes?

‐ Aspic.
‐ Yeah. Some aspic.

That's what I want
to talk to you about.

Say no more. I have an aunt
who makes chitlins.

You don't even wanna know
what that's about.

Uh...okay.

There's a chance

that I may not be able
to make the party.

Oh. You working?

No. No.

There's this girl.

Oh, that's cool.
You know. I understand.

You sure?

Yeah, who wants to hang
with his homeys

when he could be with a honey,
right? Have fun, you know.

‐ You going to be..
‐ I'll be fine.

Well, this gives you a chance
to get more sleep.

You don't have to hang all
over me, man. I'll be fine.

Well, let's see somethin'
tomorrow night

go out and get a couple
of beers or somethin'?

I'm on tomorrow night.

I know the universal precautions
are usually been..

But what does this refer
to here, double clause?

You're going overboard
with these guidelines.

Well, what about employee

ex's participation
in bloody trauma?

I don't see
anything wrong with that.

Bloody trauma.

Maybe that's the deal
with Dr. Lewis.

Susan, HIV‐positive?
I don't think so.

Look, Susan is fine.

That's what I said.

Lydia's been sick
a lot lately.

Oh, shut your mouth.

You know I would have expected
more from the two of you

than gossiping about
a co‐worker's HIV status.

Look everybody, uh, Kerry and I
have been hammering out

'a policy, there's
no secret there.'

This shouldn't be grist
for the rumor mill.

Is there a reason we have
to have HIV‐positive employees

'in the ER at all?'

Well, according
to current law

employee or employees ex,

we'll call them employee X

cannot be fired
because of their HIV status.

But they can stick their hands
in a bloody trauma?

Why not
if they're gloved?

Is this someone who got it
from a needle stick?

What difference does it make
how they got it?

Well, these are the issues
that we've been discussing.

Should employee X be restricted

to noninvasive procedures?

Or continue
with their duties‐‐

Won't universal precautions
prevent transmission?

Yeah. That's what they tell us
when they send us

in to we work
on HIV‐positive patients.

(Mark)
'The real question
isn't in law and policies.'

'It's do our patients
have the right to know.'

'This in no way
has any reflection'

upon my opinion
on employee X's work.

(Chuny)
'Is there an actual employee X?
Or are we just talking?'

(Kerry)
'We're talking policy
here, people.'

Employee X could be
any one of us.

Excuse me.

Just would everyone stop calling
me employee X?

I am HIV‐positive.

[dramatic music]

(Kerry)
'We talked about this, Mark.'

You know the risks
are a million

to one that Jeanie will bleed

into an open wound
while suturing.

I'm not saying she can't work,
I'm just trying to set

the boundaries
of where she can work.

You've set the boundaries
at triage

and answering
the phone, that's not her job.

I have no trouble
if she performs

her duties within limits.

Dispensing medication,
that's fine.

But some things aren't.

For example..

...it says here..

"Deep, penetrating,
poorly visualized cavities."

Okay? That's from the CDC.

I think that should be
off limits.

I wouldn't feel comfortable
doing that anyway.

Okay. See? Progress.

(Jeanie)
'You know, Mark,
since I found out'

I have been a lot more careful.

Do you think I wanna
do something

that might harm a patient?

No, I don't.

But unfortunately
the hospital administration

has left it up to Kerry and I

to create a policy that the
State and Federal Governments

'can't seem to make up
their minds about.'

I've agonized over this.

I have considered
quitting, but...I believe

my life can still have value,
I can still help people.

I'm sure you can.

What else are you worried about?

Dementia.

You're fine now,
but what if you decline?

Dementia may be the first sign
of full‐blown aids.

I've heard that there are some
hospitals that have instituted

a physician monitor.

Someone to help keep tabs
on the person's health.

I could do that.

Okay.

So, that's one thing.
What else?

Hi.

[dramatic music]

So was it a
needle stick?

I guess so.
You don't think that she..

‐ Oh, hi, Jeanie.
‐ Oh.

Hi.

Hey, Jeanie.

Hey.

I wish I had known.

Why? Would it have made
the two of us friends?

Now that's not fair.

Nothing is.

‐ Well?
‐ Oh, Mr. Lang. Hi.

Is Beth okay? I've been sitting
here for hours.

I'm sorry but your wife's fall

was worse
than we initially thought.

She might have to stay
overnight for observation.

Oh, God.

Anyway, the coroner's
gonna have my butt

if we don't get
this guy over there.

So why don't you just wait?

[whistling]

Hey, buddy?

This patient's going
to the bus station.

A stiff?

Miraculous recovery.

Uh, here you go.

For your bus ticket
and some burgers.

Oh, I...I can't take
this from you.

Oh, go on. You got a 3:15
Abilene to catch.

I don't even know
where Abilene is.

Hopefully,
neither does he.

Bye.

Uh, you won the pool.

Congratulations.

That was the football
pool money?

Yeah. I thought
she was a better bet.

"Alternators,
amusements, ammunition.."

there's no animal shelters.

Sometimes they list them
under humane societies.

Aw, you can't
give him away, Mark.

You promised
Mr. Collins.

Yeah, that was before
I shelled out 50 bucks

to a drag queen
for a free‐range goose.

You know what happens
when they can't

find homes for dogs?

What am I gonna do
with a dog?

Dogs are great.
They're good company.

They watch your stuff
when you're gone.

‐ Your daughter will love him.
‐ You think?

Yeah. My dad got me a dog.

Skippy, when I was six.

Best present I ever got.

The two of us were like
peanut butter and jelly.

Ay, mi perrito!

[dog whimpering]

No me puedes
hacer eso, ah?

'Yo soy su madre!
Yo tengo derecho!'

I'll get you all taken
in for kidnapping!

‐ Don't you think I won't!
‐ He was sick!

(Gloria)
'Don't tell me
how to raise my son..'

Excuse me, I'm Dr. Ross.

Can I help you?

You can give me
back my baby

is what you can do for me.

Your son had a major surgery.

I'll call the cops on your ass.

Are you high, Gloria?

I'm clean.
You dunno nothin' about me.

Or maybe we should just let

Children and Family Services
decide.

You promised
you wouldn't narc!

I said I'd give her a chance.
I gave her a chance.

She's just scared.

You come in here,
messed up on God knows what.

'You don't even ask about
your critically ill son.'

So why don't you have a seat?

I'll get my kid
back you, bastard!

Okay, you think
you can mess with me

because I'm a Latina?

'Well, I'll call
my lawyers up'

and he'll sue all you!

You're just like
the rest of 'em.

Gloria, wait up!

What's that?

[clears throat]
This homeless guy's dog.

The dog saved his life.

I told him that I'd, you know,
watch out for him

and next thing I know
the guy up and dies on me.

So now you're
the proud owner of..

His name is Nick.

Well, given the season,
you should call him St. Nick.

Yeah, well, Rachel can call him
whatever she wants.

‐ 'Rachel?'
‐ Yeah.

I thought I'd give
her a puppy for Christmas.

Mark, in case
you hadn't noticed

that dog is, like,
eight years old.

'It's ready
for a mid‐life crisis.'

'It's ready for
a fur replacement.'

All he needed was a little wash,
a little bow around his neck

I mean, he's not going to look
a day over...five.

What do you know
about giving dogs a bath?

What's to know?
Could you hold him?

I could, yeah.
For 20 bucks. I could do it.

Twenty bucks?
That's a little steep.

I lost my wallet.
I need a loan.

‐ Deal.
‐ Okay.

‐ Hang on. I got him.
‐ You got him?

Hold on. Hold on. Ho!

[barking]

Come here, come here..
Whoa! Ah!

‐ 'Oh, oh.'
‐ 'Oh! Damn it!'

'Let me see. Now you take care
of your head.'

I'll get the dog.

[groaning]

Could...can I get some help?

Yeah.

Ouch. That looks
pretty deep.

Yeah. Dog trauma.

Yeah, he went that way.
Giving Doug a run for his money.

Looks like it could
use some stitches

don't you think?

You want me
to call someone?

No. I want you to do it.

Okay.

Oh, wow. Wow.

Very William Powell.

Aren't they great?

Silk.

‐ Try it on.
‐ Yeah? Alright.

[knock on door]

(Peter)
'Dr. Keaton?'

[gasp]

Yes. Dr. Benton.

‐ Is this a bad time?
‐ No, no, no.

I was just, um, reviewing
some anatomy.

‐ May I come in for a moment?
‐ Sure.

Uh..

...first of all,
I wanted to thank you

for, uh, letting me
take such a large role

in Neil Lopez's,
uh, nephrectomy today.

Oh, but you did a great job.

Uh, thank you.

That's actually why I'm here.

I'd like to do another
pediatric surgery rotation.

Uh, well, you know,
as you know

I won't be here
for the next rotation.

I know, uh, I was hoping

that you could leave
your recommendation for me

with your
replacement.

Um..

...well, you're a very
good surgeon, uh, Peter

but that‐that's not enough
for pedes.

You've got to live and breathe
for children.

'Uh, you took this rotation
just to challenge yourself'

'and I applaud that.'

'But I can't'

'in good conscience'

'give up a space that
could possibly be filled'

'by a future
pediatric surgeon.'

'I'd be happy to talk'

to Dr. Anspaugh or Morgenstern

'and I hear
that Don's doing'

'some really interesting
stuff in thoracics.'

No, no. No, thank you.

I, uh..

...I wouldn't want to waste
any more of your time.

Hmm..

You've got an old scar.

Looks like you've
done this before.

I played rugby in high school

for a few weeks
to impress a girl

but after ending up
on the bottom of a few scrums

I decided to rethink
the relationship.

Jeanie, you're a great PA.

You're an asset
to the ER.

‐ But..
‐ But nothing.

I think you should stay.

And do my job.
Not do clerical work?

Yeah.

Within the limits
that we set earlier.

But you still wouldn't want me
suturing your daughter.

I don't know. I..

Okay.

Good as new.

Alright. When I finally
caught up with him

he'd already been made mascot
of the children's ward.

Watch him.

Thank you.
Good catch.

Alright.
Now, I am on my way home.

For a beautiful holiday

with moo shu pork,
channel 11 yule log

and my easy chair.

How's your forehead?

Jeanie fixed me right up.

Yeah. She's a great PA.

Alright. My work
here is done.

Merry Christmas.

I'm sorry I lied to you, Mark.

‐ Goodnight.
‐ Goodnight.

What happened here?

[chuckles]
Long story.

I swallowed a bunch of pills
a few years ago.

When I got back
to work

people either smothered me
with kindness

or treated me
like I was invisible.

If we aren't friends,
maybe we should be.

Well. I have a...house full

of crazy relatives
waiting for me.

Merry Christmas, Carol.

Merry Christmas.

[coughing]

(Charlie)
'Hey.'

(Doug)
'Hey.'

Oh, yeah.
What are you doing?

What..?

How did you find out
where I lived?

I thought I lost this.

You did,
at the cafeteria.

Uh‐huh, and the 50 some‐odd
bucks that was in here?

I needed cab fare.

50 bucks worth?

‐ What are you doing here?
‐ Gloria's pissed.

And she blames it on me.

I can't stay there
anymore.

Hmm, and?

And I thought
I could crash with you.

Mm‐hmm, you're 14 years old,
you stole my wallet

you've been nothing
but a pain in the ass.

You want me to stay out
on the streets?

Like, in a shelter.

Shelter on Christmas Eve?

Sounds like fun.

[indistinct chatter]

Hey.

Hi. How'd you find me?

Uh, Dr. Weaver told me
you were taking a break.

[clears throat]
I, uh..

...I got a lot
of Christmas cards

forwarded to me addressed
to Mr. and Mrs. Al Boulet.

Thought you might like
to look at them, too.

You can sit down, Al.
I don't bite.

Aunt Nonni.

I wonder what
get‐rich‐quick scheme

she's looking
for partners in this year.

Southwestern
land development.

Beats the envelope‐stuffing
scheme.

And the roller disco.

[both chuckles]

Uh...I also thought..

...you might...like
to have this.

Where did you find this?

I finally got a chance
to go through

some of the boxes
from the house.

I‐I found my socket set, too.

Remember that ridiculous tree
in the old apartment?

Yeah, there was nothing
ridiculous about that, baby.

That was a...a prime
piece of pine.

Except it was
about six feet too tall

for a studio apartment and you
refused to cut the top off.

Now, that would've been
sacrilege.

But you can still see
the stucco scratches.

Like you didn't eat
all the popcorn

before I could string it
with the cranberries.

‐ Well, that's different.
‐ How?

Because you know how I feel
about popcorn.

[laughing]

Hey, Dennis.

[snoring]

[whispering]
Dennis?

‐ Ah!
‐ You were sleeping.

No, I was just
resting my eyes.

What are you
still doing here?

I've got all
these charts.

‐ They can wait.
‐ No. I wanna finish them up.

You are gonna go home, right?
You are gonna get some sleep?

Yeah, absolutely.

I'm‐I'm good.

Alright, man.

[sighs]

[knock on door]

Hey.

I, uh, hope I'm not
interrupting anything.

Well, actually,
I was...just seducing

this fat man
in a fly red suit, you know.

He came down the chimney and..

But other than that..

Um...here.

I brought you
this poinsettia.

[chuckles]

Who knew the zippy mart
was still open on Christmas Eve?

Busted, huh?

Alright, I just didn't
wanna show up here

empty‐handed, that's all.

♪ But I haven't got the heart
to bring it in ♪

♪ The decorations
in the basement.. ♪

Thank you..

...for the poinsettia.

Yeah, uh..

...you're welcome.

Are you gonna come in

or are you just gonna let
all this cold air in here?

You forgot
the extra chair.

Mom, I already borrowed
folding chairs

from the guy next door.

The extra chair
is for the unexpected guest.

A tradition much older
than you or me

or the guy next door.

Okay, well,
there isn't enough room.

And as much as I'd like
to sit on Uncle Myko's lap..

Fine, fine.
Have it your way.

First we have to have
sviata vechera

on American Christmas Eve.

Then it's like pulling teeth
to get you to help me to cook.

Now one last tradition

I ask you
to assist me with and‐‐

[knock on door]

An unexpected guest maybe?

Maybe.

‐ Hey.
‐ Don't say a word.

I thought you were planning
a quiet evening

with the Channel 9
yule log.

Yeah, well,
the plans changed.

You're kidding me.

She just showed up
at my place.

I can't have her
sleeping there.

You know, it wouldn't look
very good, so..

‐ Oh! Oh, no. No way, Doug.
‐ Oh, come on.

No It's bad enough, I've got
eight drunken sword dancers

re‐enacting The Purge
in my dining room.

It's Christmas, Carol.

Doug, I am painfully
aware of that.

[instrumental music]

[whimpering]

Come on.

Come on, Nick.

[whimpering]

Nick, let's get out of here.
Come on.

[barking]

Come on, come on, buddy.
Come on.

Mark.

Uh, I‐I didn't hear you
ring the bell.

‐ Ah..
‐ Jennifer, guess who's here?

You won't believe what he's got
with him either.

Hey, it's just funny
because I got Rachel

a couple of Labrador puppies
for Christmas

and here you are with a..

what is he,
some kind of a setter?

Uh, mixed breed, actually.

Daddy!

‐ Daddy!
‐ Hi, sweetheart.

Mwah! Hi.

Mark, we weren't expecting you
until tomorrow.

Yeah, well..

Daddy, you bought me a doggie.

Great minds think alike.

I...actually, I, uh..

He‐he's my dog,
and I just wanted you to meet.

‐ Ow!
‐ Oh, I'm sorry.

‐ You alright?
‐ You okay?

Bad dog!

The doggie didn't mean it.

(Mark)
'No, no, of course
he didn't, darling.'

Here, let me take a look.

Has he had his shots yet?

Craig, let Mark
take a look at it.

'He's a doctor.'

Come on in, Mark.

Okay. Let's go.

Good doggie.

[indistinct chatter]

Thank you.

If I had known it was this easy
to get my mother off my back

'I would have had you bring
her by a long time ago.'

‐ So she can stay? Tonight.
‐ No, I don't think..

Check it out.
It's a Christmas egg.

Oh, that's nice,
there, Charlie?

You should make one.
It's pretty cool.

I don't know, Charlie.

‐ I'm no Picasso.
‐ You chicken?

‐ Yeah, you a chicken?
‐ Yeah, I'm a chicken.

Get over there.
I'll paint it.

‐ Okay, one night.
‐ Alright.

‐ Just one. Tonight.
‐ Mmm.

(Dr. Seuss on TV)
'So long as we have
hands to clasp'

'Christmas day will always be'

'just as long
as we'll have we.'

'Welcome, Christmas..'

Oh, I am never gonna get
get sick of that one.

Think they have
Dr. Seuss in Pakistan?

Oh, I don't think
it's a priority.

Will you be safe?

I don't think you can
guarantee safety anywhere.

Oh, I feel safe here.

[sighs]

Remember my father
used to read

the Christmas story
every Christmas Eve.

I'm so tired, I don't
even think I remember it.

Um, "It was the night
before Christmas.."

"And all through
the house..

"not a creature
was stirring.."

"Not even a mouse."

I'm gonna miss you.

That's not the next line.

I'm really gonna miss you.

What are you looking at?

This tree.

It's missing something,
you know?

Yeah.

Well, pedes did a good job
with this

construction
paper chain, huh?

Yeah.

That was a real gutsy thing
you did today.

Thanks.

You know, I have
just the thing.

That looks good.

'Where did
you get it?'

My ex‐husband brought it by.

It came off
our first Christmas tree.

Oh, it's an heirloom.

You should put it
on your family tree.

I just did.

[instrumental music]

[theme music]