Dynasty (2017–…): Season 5, Episode 7 - A Real Actress Could Do It - full transcript

WOMAN:
I've made my decision.

LIAM [over phone]:
Okay, what's that?

You were right.
The other day in my office.

That was goodbye.

I can't do this anymore.

I love Cutler.

What we have is real.

I'm sorry, Lionel, but...

it's over.

[crying]

FALLON:
What the hell is she doing?



The only time I've ever
cried like that was never.

Aren't I the producer here?

Why are you involved
in casting again?

Well, since the character
is based on me,

Liam thought I'd
have some insight.

Not to mention, who let all
these freaks into our house?

Well, Nina felt that having
them audition in this space

would help them
get into character.

Well, guess what?
It didn't work.

Plus, actors are
notorious thieves.

I noticed that all
the decorative soaps

were missing from
the East powder room.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

I thought we agreed



you were no longer allowed
to look at auditions.

- Mm-hmm.
- I'm not sure we agreed to that.

Well, it doesn't matter,
since all those ladies

are backups to this one.

MICHAEL:
Janelle Crowley?

Ooh! Yes, you see?

This is what I'm talking about.

If somebody is going
to play Fall on...

Farrah. Then they need to
be as impressive

as the real deal.

She's basically the next Meryl,
with the mystique of Gaga

and the environmentalism
of DiCaprio.

Not to mention,

the financiers were
threatening to pull out

if we didn't land someone big.

Well, I didn't think
she was interested.

There's a few contingencies.

One major one.

Janelle wants to shadow Fall on
for 48 hours starting today

before she makes
her decision.

Hey, look, if it's
too much to ask...

No. Nothing is too much for you.

After all you've
done for me?

I've been waiting for a chance
to return the favor,

and this is it. Thank you.

Not to mention,
associating myself

with a well-known
eco-activist like Janelle

could really boost
consumer confidence

as we kick things back up
with Morell Green.

There's that ulterior motive.

Oh, "ulterior" sounds so ugly.

But can you go 48 hours
without spooking

an eco-conscious do-gooder
like Janelle Crowley?

Of course I can.
I'm an open book.

I've got nothing to hide.

[phone vibrates][phone chimes]

Got to go.
Family meeting.

Tell Janelle's people

I am ready for my close-up.

BLAKE:
PPA's expansion

is underway.
But the company needs

more than private fliers
to survive.

The airport construction costs
are too high.

Is this some kind
of PPA prospectus?

Are we supposed to know
what PPA means?

Prime time Private Air.
It's my company.

I need a major commercial client
to raise the bottom line.

So if you have any leads,
I'm all ears.

Anything to boost freight
traffic through my airport.

I missed breakfast
with my father for this?

AMANDA: Yeah, I know
I'm new here,

but this doesn't
really seem worthy

of, like, an in-person
family meeting.

There's one other matter.

This may sound strange,

but for the past three weeks,

the woman that we all
thought was Cristal

was actually
an imposter named Rita.

"May" sound strange?

Yeah, how is that even possible?

If she was an imposter,

then where have you been?

Beto kidnapped me and kept me
locked in a basement

so he could use this woman to
steal back our family business.

But he's gone and she's in jail.

So you're saying
I let a nonprofessional

massage my spine?

I mean... are you okay?

I'm fine.

And the sooner I can stop
thinking about this, the better.

I can't believe we didn't know.

Although I did think
it was weird

you gave me such good advice.

None of you could have known.

Beto trained Rita perfectly.

But it's over.

And I'm moving on.
We all should.

BLAKE:
Well, good.

Family meeting adjourned.

Okay.

CHARLIE:
As you know,
I sent your materials

to several print ad
casting calls.

Ooh, you're scaring me
with this tone.

No tone. And while the response
hasn't been as immediate

as I had hoped... Oh, I knew we sent in
the wrong pictures.

I had crazy eye
bags that day,

and I'm talking checked
bags, not carry-on.

No, that's not what I mean... It's okay.

We just have to take new ones.
I can fund a shoot.

Kirby, please stop speaking

and let me talk for one second.

You don't need
print ads because...

I booked you
a shampoo commercial.

It shoots tomorrow. Really?

Shampoo commercials are,
like, the holy grail

of modeling, and it's
shooting tomorrow?

Am I dreaming?

Want me to pinch you?

Yeah.

[gasps]

Um...

you know I've never
acted before, right?

As long as your gorgeous hair
can act, we're good.

But let's keep the holes
in your résumé to ourselves.

I may have told the client
you're an experienced actress.

SAM:
Stop number 33

on the grand tour,

my bedroom.[sighs]: Oh, great.

Because I could use a break.

Yeah, this place is huge, and...
[chuckles]

I'm not as young
as I used to be.

Oh, tell me about it.

I can only go out dancing
three nights a week these days.

Aging is such a drag.

[phone chimes]

What?

What? What's wrong?

Apparently a rock band staying
in the presidential suite

started a small fire.

Just one second
while I deal with this.

Hello? What do you mean?

[door closes]

[door opens]BLAKE: Everything okay in here?

Yes, of course.

Uh, Blake, right?

I don't think
we've officially met.

Right.

Daniel, Fallon's horse trainer.

You can call me Mr. Car ring ton.

And then you can tell me
what you were just doing.

Sorry, false alarm.

Literally. Our smoke alarms
are too sensitive.

I knew we spent
too much money on safety.

I see you two have met.

Yes, we have.

Could I have a word?

Oh, maybe later?

I'm gonna let my father
catch his breath

and then we're gonna
continue the tour.

Everything okay?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just perfect.

Lemonade? Yes, please.

FALLON:
Morell Green

is kind of our
environmental North Star.

With Jeff Colby leading the way,
the rest of the company

will follow his example
as we build a better world.

He should be here any minute.

When this offer
first came in,

I thought the character
was just a spoiled oil heiress.

[chuckles]But now,

seeing your eco-conscious side,

I knew there
had to be more layers.

I'm like an onion, you know.

But I'm just flattered

that you're considering
taking the role.

I mean, I've been a fan of yours
since you were on that soap.

You know, the one where you...

you did CPR
in a bikini every week?

Beach Doctor.Yeah.

Wow, you really are a fan.

More importantly,
what was it like

kissing Ryan Gosling
in that tornado movie?

- Mm.
- [clears throat] Uh, Fall on, a word?

Ah! Yeah, Jeff, this is...

Wow. Janelle Crowley.

Huge fan.

Which I'm sure
you hear all the time.

And yet it never gets old.

So... thank you.

Of course.

Um, I was just about
to tell Janelle

that our site managers
should be done relocating

Patty's petroleum to an ethical
waste ground by end of day.

An eco-friendly hallelujah
to that.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I'm gonna use the ladies' room.

Don't do anything exciting
till I come back.

I won't. [Chuckles]

Hold that hallelujah.

We got a problem with Morell.

There's an issue
with securely

disposing of the toxic waste
from the plant,

a spill which resulted

in some of it being
relocated into marshland.

Oh, no, are those egrets? Yes.

Well, if this leaks,
it'll be a PR nightmare for us.

Yes. And tree-hugger Janelle Crowley

will never sign on
to play yours truly.

Seems likely. And
Liam's movie will implode.

Probably.

Well, this is
a huge cluster duck.

[♪]

Apologies are for
incompetent people, Cynthia.

Um... I want competence... look it up.

Yeah, but... And while you have
the dictionary open,

maybe get acquainted
with the word "unemployed."

But... but Ms. Co... Good morning.

There is my knight
in cashmere armor.

I thought you could use
some calming saffron tea.

I know I seem stressed,
but Alexam's launch

is only a few weeks away
and everything is a mess.

Look, I get
why you're stressed.

But I miss last week's Alexis.

The one who was so carefree

and relaxed
in our modest palace in Dubai.

Well, I wasn't so carefree

when that sandstorm hit
when we were

experimenting
with the hot tub jets.

How much of that call
did you hear?

Enough to know that you weren't
particularly kind to Cynthia.

I have a short fuse.

I know it's a problem
if I'm going to get that

flock of losers
to be productive.

First step, maybe don't
call your employees losers.

And second step,
maybe you can ask someone

for advice on adjusting
your management style.

How about you?
You manage a hedge fund.

I was thinking of someone with
a similar temperament to yours.

My fuse is long.

Oh, don't I know it.

[chuckles]

JEFF:
The people who caused this spill

were holdovers
from Patty's company.

Maybe just own up to it.

Sometimes the truth works.

No one cares about the truth.

They'll just write articles
saying Fall on Unlimited

destroys the environment
and kills furry creatures.

And then they'll show a picture
of a very sad, thin bird

with a Sarah McLachlan
song playing.

Our stock price will drop faster

than Janelle drops out
of this movie.

We need a swift
and secret clean-up

of this mess,
coupled with a swift

and secret firing of whoever
is responsible for this.

Should we loop in your VP?

Kelly? No, she's
home sick with the flu.

Lucky bitch.

Well, what about Janelle?

If she's shadowing you,
she'll eventually

want to know what's going on.

Alexis is coming to visit.

I will have her distract Janelle

while you figure
this whole thing out.

She cannot find out,
otherwise Liam will never

trust me to help him again.

CRISTAL: How do I look?

Radiant, as always.

I thought you said you were done

wearing camel hair coats
for the season.

I never said that.
Why would I...

That must have been Rita.

I should

clear my head.
Today's a big day.

Flores business? In a way.

I'm attending the ELLE workshop
for female CEOs.

It stands for Executive Ladies
Leadership Essentials.

Well, it sounds a little
Ya-Ya Sisterhood for my taste.

You should let me
help you.

Leadership Essentials
is my middle name.

Thanks, but Joyce Barry
is the best there is

at this kind
of thing.

And your CEO experience

as a straight white male is

probably a little different
from mine.

I'm not so sure about that
these days.

Maybe let's keep
the focus on me?

The Flores board rejected

my three-year
corporate expansion plan.

I need to
find a way

to tighten my grip
and get what I want.

Maybe you should
partner with PPA.

A high-profile,
new air freight contract

that could sweeten your
expansion plan with the board.

Getting my husband's help

isn't the best way
to show the board

how strong and independent I am.

Well, fair enough.

Are you sure
you don't need more time

after what you've been through?

Yes.

I'm sure.
I've got this.

ALEXIS:
No one knows

what they're doing. So what
would you do in my position?

Why don't you just do what
you used to do at the manor?

Fire them and start fresh.

Well, there's
no time for that.

Plus I need
to learn to be nicer.

[sighs]

What's with the sushi spread,
and it's vegan?

Is that even a thing?

- Only the best for my mother.
- JANELLE: I guess I just wanted something

that challenges me, you know?

- Is that Janelle Crowley?
- Mm-hmm.

Wow, she really
looks older in person.

You can keep that to yourself.

Right now,
she is trying to decide

if she wants
to play me in Liam's movie.

And I really, really need you
to go over there

and just regale her, you know,
with stories from my youth

while I go handle
a private business matter.

I came here for help,

not to chitchat
with America's sweetheart.

Okay, okay, fine.

I know someone who can help you.

I will set
it all up

if you go talk to Janelle.

Just keep it positive
and eco-friendly.

Janelle?

This is my mother.

And she would be
more than happy

to discuss all things Fall on

Car ring ton with you,
so what do you say

swap dance partners
for a little bit?

I was actually thinking
we could all talk...

We are going to have
a great chitchat.

[chuckles]

Uh, so...

the clean-up's
gone well so far.

Great. Who's
getting fired?

A Patty hire named
Linda Bergeron.

Lazy and wholly responsible
for the clean-up oversight.

Good. Let's get rid of her.
We'll make her sign an NDA

and then we can forget this
entire thing ever happened.

ALEXIS: You know, you would think
a daughter would tell her mother

when she lost her virginity,
but I had to find out

through the tabloids.

Sushi's ready.

AMANDA: Well, that sounds
like great news to me.

Well, in theory, yes.

But if I mess up,
I might as well wash

this shampoo commercial
right out of my life.

And Charlie, as well. Well, I thought

Charlie was excited about
giving you a second chance.

Well, she was. She is.

But as soon as she hears me try
to say "glycine soja extract,"

she's gonna run for the hills,
which is sad,

because I really think
we have potential.

Oh, like, um...
[clears throat]

like, professional potential?

Or-or... romantic?

Obviously professional, 100%.

Or maybe, like, 80/20, you know?

Depending on what she's wearing.

She's really cute.
My mind wanders.

What's that look for?

Nothing, um, why don't you

just tell Charlie
that you're feeling nervous?

If she supports you,
then, uh, you know,

she'll understand.
You know, I really

have to get back
to this mock trial prep.

Who are you mocking?

Uh, it's a rehearsal

where we find out what's
working and what's not working

if this malpractice case
ever goes to trial.

That's what I need.
[laughs]

I need a mock commercial.

You help me prep, I do

a great job, and Charlie
never has to know

I was struggling.
It's a win-win-win.

Not entirely sure what
I'm winning in this situation.

Oh, you get me...
I'll help you with the trial.

Oh, so you're familiar
with Section 3971

of the Official Code
of Georgia Annotated?

I will be by tomorrow.

Mrs. Car ring ton. Welcome.

Joyce Barry,
it is such an honor.

Let's see how you feel
after I run you

through the wringer
for the next two days.

I'm looking forward to it.[laughs]

Are all these
women CEOs?

Yep. But only one of you
will leave here

with a year-long on-call
mentors hip with yours truly.

Amazing.
I have so much to learn.

I just hope I can compete.

Of course you can.
With the right attitude,

nothing can stand in your way.

Okay, I'm here,
we can start.

Oh. I was looking
for the CEO seminar.

Did you get lost on your way to
the Sloppy Second Wife's Club?

If a woman
is strong and assertive,

then she's too abrasive to lead.

And if she's not assertive
enough, she's a pushover

and she gets
no respect.

You should be
familiar with that.

And to be
good managers,

you must learn to work
with different styles.

You will get that chance
this weekend.

Tomorrow, you will launch
a hot dog

stand in the park,

using a limited budget
of $1,000.

How is this helpful?

Hawking wieners
is a bit beneath me.

Real world application
of my teachings

will illuminate
your shortcomings.

Then this should be
very helpful for Alexis.

I have split
all of you up

into teams of two, solely
based on when you enrolled.

Oh, n... Anyone but her.I... Are you
sure about that?

Sorry, ladies.
You were the last two.

If you want to deal
with adversity and people

you don't like, tomorrow will be
a great place to start.

This is what you wanted
to talk to me about...

My father looking in my bag?

Well, I mean, it was suspicious.

And when I called him on it,
he froze, no explanation.

Blake, no offense,

but you can be
a little intimidating.

Why would I take
offense to that?

Point is I'm sure
there's a good explanation.

Sam, what do you even
know about the guy,

huh? He just
shows up now?

Where was he when you were
a drug-addict grifter?

No offense.

Why would I
take offense to that?

I already did the suspicion
thing with him last week.

He just wants to be my dad.

Get to know me.

Okay, well, maybe I need
to get to know him, too.

We should all
go riding tomorrow.

Like...

horses?

I'll take that as a yes.

See you tomorrow.

Okay.

[phone chimes, vibrates]

What do you think?

Well, this isn't exactly
what I was expecting

when I was summoned
up to the bedroom.

How much would you spend
on one of these?

Nothing. I prefer burgers.

And what do hot dogs have to
do with female empowerment?

I knew this seminar was
just a bunch of crap.

Well, Joyce says
that leadership skills

are the same whether you're
running a Fortune 500 company

or a hot dog stand.

Well, I guess
that almost makes sense.

Problem is that
my partner is Alexis.

Alexis?

I thought you said
this was a prestigious program.

How'd she slither her way in?

Fall on made a call.[knocking]

And if you're gonna
keep being critical,

I'll just do this
somewhere else.

I'm sorry, I'll stop.

What's this?

Your new nighttime regimen.
Just as you requested last week.

The valerian tea helps
soothe your nerves, remember?

Yes.

I do now. Thank you. Of course.

Rita really made herself
at home here, didn't she?

Look, just so you know...

Rita and I were never intimate.

In case... Let's be done talking
about Rita, permanently.

Okay.

FALLON:
And I want the scissors

to be big.
Like, "bigger than my arm" big.

Okay, thank, you. Don't worry, I won't ask.

I'm gonna tell you anyway.
Janelle loved shadowing me.

And since I was able
to find a solution

to a tiny problem, I was
thinking she could be the one

to cut the ribbon
as we reopen Morell Green.

Yeah, well, the only
thing Janelle's cutting

is her ties
to the movie.

She's out.

What did you do?

Me? I did nothing.
I was a perfect gentlewoman.

What, did she hear

about the toxic waste spill
and the oily egrets?

Oily regrets?

Small chemical spill,
precious marshlands,

adorable birds...
Not my fault.

I have no idea what you're
talking about, but I guess

a story broke last night

that you fired a project manager

at Morell named Linda

because she wanted to spend
more time with her family.

Are you freaking
kidding me? Wow.

That lying snitch... I bet
she doesn't even have a family.

I'm guessing the truth
has something

to do with the toxic waste?

Yes, it does, but I couldn't

tell Janelle the truth
because I wanted

to protect the movie.

I'm sorry, Liam.

Oh, it's fine. Uh,

but we should go. We got
a long day ahead of us

scraping the bottom of the
barrel to find a replacement.

MICHAEL:
You know if you don't

fix this, there probably
won't be a movie.

Well, I do now.

Do you always drink
before a day's work?

Bubbles soothe my stomach.

Which is I what need,
because Cristal's plan

for our project today
is making me ill.

Hey, go easy on her, okay?
She's been through a lot.

Oh, did she lose one of Blake's
apology necklaces?

No, I'm talking
about her being

kidnapped by her brother while
someone else impersonates her

for a few weeks
without anyone noticing.

But, sure, maybe
it's what you said, too.

Are you serious?

Oh, I couldn't make
that up if I tried.

That is just the thing
I need to know

before a day
of emotional warfare.

That's exactly the opposite
reason why I told you.

Yeah, I thought
you were trying

to become a better
and nicer

manager?

Bullying your partner
seems off-base.

Cristal is not my partner.

Except she is.

Maybe approach it as if
she were an Alex am employee,

and try to work
on your patience.

My employee?

As if I would ever hire
that two-faced...

Not like that, right.

Okay. [Clears throat]
I will try.

But I'm not following
her stupid business plan.

You don't have to.

Just be professional
and respectful.

They should sell tickets
to this.

BLAKE:
Well, that was wonderful.

It has been a while
since I've been on a horse.

Daniel, you really have
a way with Allegra.

Oh, thanks.
We've spent a lot of time

together prepping
for the big race next week.

Hey, Sam.

Why don't you go get that Scotch
out of the tack room?

It's not every day that
I get to bond with your father.

Sounds great.

Well, that's, uh,
very generous of you.

You're not getting
a sip of that Scotch.

You're not getting
a taste of Sam's money, either,

which we both know
is the reason you're here.

Excuse me?

I did some digging.
You're broke.

A success like Sam...

That's an appetizing
meal ticket, isn't it?

You know nothing about me.

Look, I'm just trying
to protect Sam.

And I can help you, too,
if you let me.

That's five more zeroes
than your current balance.

Just take it,
be grateful.

And be on your way.

[scoffs quietly]

I'm grateful Sam's managed to...

be a good person

despite living with
a man like you.

No thanks. Don't lay your hands on me.

Don't make assumptions
about my intentions with my son.

Hey, what the hell's
going on here?

A man should be able to defend
himself on his own property,

shouldn't he? So Daniel just attacked you

for no reason? No, he had a reason.
He knows I'm onto him.

You should've
seen his face

when I caught him
snooping around your bedroom.

I wasn't snooping. And what I
was doing is none your business.

Oh, so you admit you
were doing something?

No. I mean, yes,
but it's not what you think.

What was it then? Because
right now I am wondering.

Just admit it...
You're hiding something.

Are you?

Well, the truth is,
I was trying to hide something.

A picture of me and your mother

from when we were young.

I thought it would be
a nice surprise for you to find,

but... now I see
I shouldn't have bothered.

Dad, I'm-I'm so sorry.

Would you quit
calling this con man dad?

He's right.

At least until
you actually trust me.

Yeah, great
detective work, Blake.

Where was that

keen eye when a stranger
was sleeping in your bed, huh?

FALLON:
It's so beautiful

I could almost cry.

Our stock price is holding
steady. No leaks about the leak.

There's just one thing
we should talk about.

Oh, please don't tell me the
egrets have spoken to the press.

The cleanup crew told me

that the spill
didn't look accidental.

There might've been foul play.

I hope that's just
a bad bird pun.

Yeah, it's not. Something
shady definitely went down.

The initial report cited

slick roads as the cause
of the accident,

but there was hardly
any precipitation.

Don't worry,
I'll get to the bottom of it.

Thank you, because now

I'm off to meet
little miss movie star.

Again? Yep.

["Workin' for a Livin'" by
Huey Lewis and the News playing]

Achieve that natural... glow
that you've always wanted.

Did you just hurt your neck
flipping your hair?

Yeah, it really hurt.

This time, less violently.

Um...

sexier?

More serious.

Okay, y-you're angry.[roars]

Oh, um, okay, let's drop

the animal and go, like, goofy.

[laughing]

Friendly and wholesome.

Made with organic glycine
soju extract.

Soja, soja... It's not,
like, a Korean liquor. Soja?

Yeah.Okay. I'll try again.

Made with orga... Oh, careful!

[gasps]

[panting]

If I'm so nervous
to do this in front of you,

how am I gonna to do this
in front of cameras

and a crew and Charlie?

It's normal to be nervous, okay?
When I'm in court,

I'm like Xena the Warrior
outside.

You know? On the
inside, my stomach

probably looks
like a carnival on fire.

But you're so confident.

It's acting. Okay.

[clears throat]

No one wants their hair to be
dry and frizzy and lacking

in sheen, do they?
Well, neither does my client.

There is a reason
that every bottle

has glycine soja extract in it.

In fact, actually,
the only thing my client

is guilty of is making your hair

look more amazing than
it ever has before.

If that's a crime...

lock me up.

Oh, thank you, thank you.

[chuckles]

Wow. You can do this.

Yeah, I just need
to convince the judge

and jury to buy shampoo.

And if all else fails,
just think about

the delicious meal you'll
reward yourself with after.

Now, that I can do.

I can already taste
the chicken parm

I'm gonna eat. Not until you're done.

Oh.

Thank you so much
for helping me.

FALLON:
Please,

don't punish Liam for whatever
issues you have with me.

It's not about
punishment or Liam.

It's about ethical depiction,

which is very important
to me as an artist.

On Beach Doctor,

I learned
how to do a tracheotomy.

I could totally tell.

And you can depict me
however you want.

I can't. Liam's version of you

is written through rose-colored
glasses and it always will be.

And this reaction of yours...

This is all because
of Linda getting fired?

She didn't get fired.
You fired her.

For wanting to spend time
with her family.

Fall on, and by default,

Farrah are not good people.

And Farrah
needs to be as likable

as the actress playing her. Well, I can't

I can't give you the specifics,
for very specific reasons,

but you have to trust me,
Linda's firing was justified.

Oh, I'm sure you can justify it
in your head however you want,

but why should I trust you?

What, you're gonna believe
some trashy gossip site?

I mean, Janelle, you know
better than anyone

not to believe
everything you read.

Did Tom Cruise really
bring that lion to set

just so you could feed
it a vanilla milkshake?

That was just
a ridiculous rumor.

Okay, you see, there you go.

I hate it when
I read things about people

that aren't true. You can tell
me all the real stories later.

There is no later.

I have plenty of other offers
on the table,

and I'd rather
take one of those.

I like to be
the only selfish one on set.

Wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.

Just give me a chance
to show you who I am.

I can't let Liam down.

Please?

Forget all of this.
I have a new plan.

As usual,
you're not making any sense.

Did you not look
at the specs I sent?

I did. Hence, the new plan.

We need
to make a splash.

You weren't even
making a ripple.

So I spent the entire budget

on something that will
actually get us noticed.

We can't afford all that
with our budget.

I think the budget
is more of a suggestion.

Joyce will appreciate

our aggressiveness,
and the truth is it's my fault.

I never should've had a beta
do an alpha's job.

So I'm sorry.

In case you missed it,
that's me being a bigger person.

Now, get changed.

BLAKE:
Is that lemon and cayenne...

People still doing that?

Yes, I'm cleansing.

Trying to get rid of all
the negativity surrounding me.

All right, listen, it goes

without saying
that I owe you an apology.

No, it deserves to be said.

And I'm not sure I accept it.

Just because
Rita fooled you

doesn't mean you can go
and take it out on Daniel.

Well, that's not actually the
reason I reacted the way I did.

Seeing the two of you together,
I was jeal...

Jell-O?

Gel-caps?

I was jealous.

Why?

Well, because I've...

come to think
of myself as your father.

You know, it's a title
I'm proud of.

And it hurts to...

know I could lose it
that easily.

So...

Here. What is that?

That's just a little apology.

Well, you, uh...

certainly know
the way to my heart.

And my wrist.

[chuckles]

I forgive you.

And you will always be
a father to me,

no matter how many

biological daddies
come out of the woodwork.

Well, hearing you say that's
a relief.

Okay, this, uh,
touchy-feely stuff

gives me the willies,
so I'm gonna go apologize

to Daniel
and get that out of the way.

Uh, actually,
if it's okay with you,

I'd like to bring him dinner
after he's done

training Allegra
and apologize to him first.

You're not the only one
who questioned his motives.

I told you no one would buy
a hot dog for $100.

Oh, I want to say
that your attitude

isn't helping,
but I am practicing kindness.

However, if I wasn't, I would
tell you that you're lifeless

and uninspired,
and that working with you

is basically like working alone.

Hello, ladies.

Seems as though
business is slow.

I think the weather
is keeping people away.

Oh, you mean clear skies
and perfect temperature?

I had nothing to do
with this insanity.

She won't even listen to me.

If you can't be heard or seen,

it's because you're not making
your presence felt.

And the only person
that can control that

is you.

Don't blame Alexis.

What a wise woman.

Hey, where are you going
with that wiener?

I mean, I guess
it could've been my fault.

I'm not really sure.

Patty never had us
do any real work like that.

You know, she was
a really good boss.

Okay, Linda.

Well, you're probably
wondering why you're here.

Yeah, that is a good question.
[laughs]

Since I am a
kind-hearted person...

I'd like to...

offer you your job back.

I was wrong
to fire you.

You seem like a really, uh...

I mean, you seem like a...

Well, you get the point.

Listen, I'm sorry

I had to play hardball
in the press

like that, but I'm glad
it allowed you to see my value.

Now should we talk numbers?

Because I think
I deserve

a pay increase
for the pain and suffering.

You want to negotiate
a higher salary?

It hasn't even been 24 hours.

Yeah, sure, what were you, uh,
what were you thinking?

40% raise and
a five-year contract.

If things don't work out,
I want protections.

For my family.

Uh...

Okay, you win.

Welcome back.Great.

Hold on, you brought me here
to watch you re-hire this woman?

You were upset that I fired her.

And so I hired her back.
What do you want from me, lady?

I wanted to see the real Fall on.

Which, now, I have.

All right, you know
what, that's it.

I give up.

No, I...

I meant that as a good thing.

You were willing to sacrifice

something
for the husband you love

and re-hire
this incompetent woman.Hey.

Oh, please.

I'll accept the part,
with one caveat.

You let me re-fire Linda
as you, in character.

Yeah, sure, fine, go for it.

Linda, you're done here.

You have 30 minutes to pack up
your sad little office

or I'll do it for you.

And when I say I'll do it,
I'll toss it in the garbage.

I would've given her ten, but...

- Wait, is this for real?
- BOTH: Get out.

CHARLIE:
How you feeling?

Prepared,
confident,

and incredibly hungry.

How do I look?

Gorgeous.

And my hair...
Can it sell shampoo?

I'd buy an entire crate of it.

You really are something, Kirby.

I'm glad we met.

If this goes well,
do you want to...

get a drink later
or maybe see a movie?

Kirby, I'm so sorry if
I gave you the wrong impression,

but I don't date my clients.

Oh.

Right, of course not.

'Cause that would be crazy.

It's just a rule I have.

- Mm-hmm.
- I hope you understand.

Oh, yeah. Anyway, I don't want
to distract you,

so I'll go watch
from the monitor.Okay.

Good luck.Thanks.

Ooh.

High five.
[chuckles]

Are you ready to break a leg?

Yes, actually, both of them.

As soon as I jump out
the nearest window.

What happened?

Apparently I'm as bad at reading

body language
as I am performing it.

Because I just asked out
my agent and she rejected me.

Which makes sense. We have
to go. I-I can't do this.

Wait, no, no, no,
sorry, wait, one thing

has nothing to do
with the other, okay?

You just need to turn down
the self-doubt, drama mama.

You just got to convince
a jury to buy shampoo.

Think about the chicken parm
if all else fails.

Hey.

You got this.

You look, um...

gorgeous.

Charlie said the same thing.

But don't worry, I won't
ask you out as well. [Chuckles]

[chuckles]

High-class hot dog? It's golden.

Just taste it.

Fine, keep jogging.

I'm sure you're late
for a Jazzercise class.

Where have you been?
We need to be selling hot dogs.

We are.

I used the fire-starter
technique Joyce taught us.

I met a nice man named Ron who
works at a law firm close by.

I sacrificed a sale
for good exposure.

You gave him a free hot dog?

Yes, and he happened to love

your Wagyu beef thing,
golden flakes and all.

He told his colleagues, who
are now all on their way here.

It's about time
you made yourself useful.

[phone chimes]

What is it?

It's a text from Ron.

They're not coming.

What? Why not?

All it says is "Violently ill.

No one is coming.
What did you feed me?"

Of course you gave the hot dog

to a lawyer with a weak stomach.
We are so getting sued.

Did you even check to see if
these golden flakes are edible?

Do I have to do everything?

Seriously?

That's it,
I can't do this anymore.

Well neither can I.

You make it impossible
to be nice.

You're a waste of space.
You might as well not be here.

No wonder your husband didn't
even notice you were gone.

[gasps]

[grunts]

Why couldn't you stay
home and be a doormat?

It's your only skill.

Oh, yeah? Would a doormat...

...do this?

JOYCE:
Put the condiments down!

You're both out of the
program. That's fine.

I think I got what I needed.

[Alexis gasps]

I'm just trying
to be seen and heard.

Mind if I join you? Sure.

How did I do today?
Be honest.

The client could not be happier,

and I could not be
more impressed.

Seriously? I
thought for sure

I blew it and that
they were already

calling Sasha to replace me.

No way. You've got
a career as a slasher.

Huh?

Actor-slash-model.

Oh!
[laughs]

What are you gonna do
to celebrate?

I am gonna get
some chicken parm.

Okay, that's very specific.

But it sounds tasty.
Can I come with?

Sure.

Just a, uh, platonic

hearty Italian dinner.
[laughs]

I'm really sorry
for asking you out before.

I guess I just wasn't thinking,

which is kind of a problem
for me.

I kind of act before
I think and then...

Kind of like that?

Either you really

like breaded chicken cutlets,
or I'm confused.

I thought you had a policy
against dating clients.

But does that not include
spontaneous kissing?

I've been interested in you
from the moment we met.

But I've had disasters
in the past.

Models can be delicate
and insecure.

But the way you killed it today

made me realize you have got
plenty of confidence.

I did? I do?

Oh, yeah. It was pretty hot.

Well, you
know, I try.

God willing,
that's the last time

I will be at a park for... ever.

I'm sensing ELLE was a bust.

I tried to be professional
with Cristal.

But it just didn't stick.

And she squirted ketchup
all over my fabulous gown.

Maybe I just
don't do partnerships.

Friendly reminder

that you already have a partner.

Adam? Well, that's different.

I basically own him.

Touching.

So you got nothing at all
from this?

Not nothing.

I learned that
I can't change who I am.

Not even
for world-renowned

Joyce Barry.
I'm bad-tempered,

I don't sugarcoat things,

and I am not the nicest manager
when I'm stressed.

And...

I feel that me being

a bitch at times
is a problem for you.

Which may be a problem for us.

What? Alexis, no.

I mean...

maybe if I were working for you
it would be.

Then why were you pushing
for me to change so much?

It just seems
like you were trying

a backdoor approach
to changing my personality.

Not at all.

I love your personality.

I just want you to have

everything you want.

And it seemed like a good way
to assure Alexam's success.

But...

with regard to your
private personality...

Don't change

a thing.

I think you're the perfect

amount of bitch.

[laughs]

How do you always know
the right thing to say?

Hello, handsome.

Well...

I'm guessing the ELLE conference
was a rousing success?

More like a total disaster.

Aw. I know you were pinning
a lot on Joyce, but...

Turns out I didn't need Joyce.

What I do need
is to talk about Rita.

Me and Rita, not you and Rita.

I know

I said I didn't,
but I haven't been honest

about how it made me
feel about myself.

The Flores board had me worried.

How could I possibly
be a powerful CEO

when I couldn't even
make a mark on my family?

Oh, honey, of course you've
made a mark on this family.

I know that now.

But I allowed Rita
to make me doubt myself.

Until today.

So it was a success.

In a different way.

During a ridiculous fight
with Alexis,

I remembered.

I'm Cristal Car ring ton.

And there's only one of me.

I am liking this energy.

Then you would've loved
hearing me

call the board to push through
my expansion plan.

Which I can do.

- As CEO.
- Hmm.

One more thing.

I don't think PPA and Flores
should work together.

Yeah, I know that.
You've made that very clear.

This is a proposal

to merge PPA and Flores
into one entity.

It's a natural fit
for both companies.

You know, it's a big decision.

I know.

I've crunched every number
there is to crunch.

But you can sleep on it.

Well, I don't need
to sleep on it.

Something tells me

we're not sleeping
very much tonight.

Let's merge.Hmm.

Don't mind if I do.

JEFF:
Good news is

Morell is now
squeaky clean,

super green, and the
spill site is spotless.

But...

But I was right
about the accident.

It was intentional.

And you're not gonna be
happy when you find out who

gave Linda her instructions. Oh, no.

Was it... Liam?

Okay, it's not that bad.

It was Kelly, your VP,

who is supposedly home sick.

I hired a P.I. to tail Linda
after she was fired.

Followed her right
to a meeting with Kelly.

Why would she do that to me?

I have no idea.

But you should probably find out
sooner rather than later.

Well, thank you for all
of your hard work on this, Jeff.

Cousin power.

Cousin power, yeah.Yeah.

Didn't know that was a thing,
but I like it.

[laughs]

How did you get Janelle back?

Well, I could tell you
the details,

but it's probably best
that I don't.

You know what,
you are probably right.

But thank you.

I know that I've been playing
it cool, but this project

means way more to me
than I let on.

I know it does.

And you don't need to be afraid

to admit stuff like that to me.

Okay?
I am here for you,

100%, whatever you set
your sights on.

Well, right now,
my sights are set on going home

and getting back
to some baby-making.

Ah, sounds like the perfect
distraction from work.

Hmm, maybe that could be
the title of my next book:

The Perfect Distraction.

[laughs]

[Daniel grunts,
inhales deeply]

[exhales]