Dynasty (2017–…): Season 3, Episode 20 - My Hangover's Arrived - full transcript
It's time for Fallon's surprise Bachelorette Party and things go exactly as one would expect.
- Previously on Dynasty...
- Mia? Of all the bars in Atlanta,
you walk into mine.
I like secretly dating a doctor.
- My company's in trouble.
- Our marriage is in trouble.
Carrington Atlantic oil tankers
are being held up in
Moldavian shipping lanes.
We're actually flying to Moldavia
to try and rescue Blake and Anders
from kidnappers without
getting ourselves killed.
You were right. I just rescued Blake
and Liam from prison.
What did he just say?
So, I asked Liam,
if his father was in mortal danger
and in a Moldavian prison,
wouldn't he want to know?
And then he reminded me that
his father is dead and also had
an affair and a child
with his son's girlfriend,
so probably not,
which really wasn't the point.
No, the point is that
neither of our fathers died,
so I don't know why you're upset.
I'm upset because Liam kept
this kidnapping from me
because he said I
would've gone overboard
and made everything worse, which means
he doesn't trust me to be
an adult or responsible.
Well, I'm glad no one told me,
because I would've been a wreck.
Yes, you would have folded like
a cheap accordion under pressure.
Luckily, I've been dealing
with things like this
since I was wearing monogrammed onesies.
Still, the guys saved them
at the end of the day.
Why are you still defending him?
Do they not have girl code in Australia?
Luckily, I've got it all figured out.
My lawyers have been
working on a little prenup.
You know, rules for our marriage.
Mostly for Liam.
Like, to be true partners
and to not keep secrets and to
treat me as a responsible adult
in all matters of importance.
Right, so it's a contract?
That should go down well.
You know what, Kirby?
I am starting to feel
a little bit attacked right now,
so I am gonna ban any more Liam talk
until after our retail therapy day.
Right, um, hang on,
I forgot my sunglasses.
I'll meet you outside.
- No!
- DISTORTED VOICE: Don't say a word.
Yes, I saw the flowers.
They're beautiful, thank you.
Well, when I get back, I can show you
some even steamier moves.
What did I miss during
my two days in Moldavia?
Has anyone ever told you you're
freakishly good at lurking?
So you're seeing someone now?
Yes, but please don't pressure
me into talking about it.
It's still early.
Of course.
You'll tell me when you're ready.
There comes a stage
in every father's life
where he has to learn
to trust and respect
his daughter's decisions
about her love life.
(PHONE CHIMES, VIBRATES)
Well,
- good chat, but I have a flight to catch.
- What?
- Where are you going?
- Trust and respect. Remember?
Carrington Atlantic
was right in my hands,
and somehow Blake managed
to snatch it away.
I probably should've
left him in Moldavia.
The rescue confirmed what
I knew all along about him.
He is a cruel, heartless monster.
That's exactly how I described
him in my divorce filings.
Well, you were right, as usual,
which is why I am prepared
to continue this battle.
As thrilling as your loyalty is,
I'm not sure we have any
moves left in this war.
(CHUCKLES): Uh-uh-uh.
I do have some good news.
Guess who Blake just named
as second-in-command at C.A.
Yeah. This guy.
You really buried the lede.
Now, I don't think we can
take C.A. away from him.
Though with my very
clever son on the inside,
maybe we can destroy it and
crush Blake in the process.
You still have connections at the
Atlanta Journal-Constitution, right?
You're not getting away with this.
I will kill you.
Oh, come on. It's the perfect way
to start a bachelorette party.
It gets your heart rate pumping.
Hi, Fallon.
What is my assistant doing here,
or am I still hallucinating
from the polyester bag
that was over my face?
I invited Allison as a babysitter.
I prefer "chaperone."
SAM:
Someone needs to make sure we don't,
- you know, shave our heads.
- What is this?
Is there anyone you didn't invite?
I mean,
are Liam's exes about to show up?
Okay, I ran into Cristal at the hotel,
and she was eating there all by herself,
and, well, I've never seen
anyone chew so sadly.
But she lied to me just
as much as Liam did.
Don't worry,
I will stay out of your way.
I just need a getaway from
my life and to let loose.
FALLON: Oh, wow.
This is off to a great start.
BLAKE: It's my third marriage.
I get it.
Cristal just needs
some peaceful time away
to realize that she doesn't
really want to leave.
Until then,
I can focus on Carrington Atlantic.
As long as you're okay.
I'm great.
The tankers are en
route to our refinery,
and I'm kick-starting the new
C.A. with a press conference
announcing that Blake Carrington
is CEO again.
I think you should be
right there by my side.
I would love nothing more.
Sorry to interrupt, sir.
I'm sure it's bad,
since you never
interrupt with good news.
Well, good news can wait.
Bad news needs to be dealt with.
- Mm-hmm.
- In this case,
the press got wind
that you've stolen oil
from the small nation of Moldavia.
Now the Department of Energy
has launched an investigation
into C.A. for possible misconduct.
This is ridiculous.
I didn't steal anything.
It's not my fault that
Laura Van Kirk set me up.
Yeah, just because the king
decided to nationalize oil
doesn't mean they can take what
our company's already paid for.
Well, unfortunately,
until the Energy Department
officially agrees with your assessment,
all C.A. operations
have been frozen.
How the hell did the press
even find out about this?
Perhaps we should cancel
the press conference.
No. No,
we can't look like we're panicking.
- So what are we doing?
- Panicking.
Turning to friends in high
places who can help kill
this investigation.
SAM:
Welcome to Fallon's bachelorette HQ.
We have views, 24-hour butler service,
an on-call masseuse
and, for a true New Orleans experience,
Mistress Delphine,
maker of magic, creator of potions.
- Oh, so she's a bartender.
- Mm-hmm.
All right, well, that's good,
because I still have
a giant, Liam-sized headache to erase.
I'll have whatever she's having.
If I'm gonna go crazy, I'm gonna need
a little more than my usual Chardonnay.
Okay, well, make mine extra strong,
'cause I'm feeling
myself after saving lives
and Sammy Ho is going out tonight.
Uh, can you make mine a triple?
- I'll take one of those, too.
- SAM: What?
No. You're chaperoning.
♪ Yeah ♪
Thank you. Oh, oh, before we drink,
a couple ground rules, okay?
No tacky strip clubs,
no tacky blow-up dolls,
no ugly bachelorette sashes...
Oh, and no photos,
in case they turn out tacky and ugly.
Other than that,
here is to an untacky night to remember.
(CHEERING, WHOOPING)
(PHONE RINGING)
(SCREAMS)
Snake on the floor! Snake on the floo...
(GRUNTS)
What the hell?
What happened to your face?
And whose clothes are these?
Where did you get that diamond necklace?
(GROANS)
WOMAN (OVER PHONE): Hello?
Hello?
Okay, who stole my engagement ring?
What the hell happened last night?
Oh.
Well, apparently, I got married.
And I'm assuming it wasn't to Liam.
♪ ♪
What the hell are we gonna do?
This is not good.
No. No, um, it's actually pretty bad.
At least Britney Spears knew
who she was marrying in Vegas.
Remind me not to invite you
to my next bachelorette party.
I feel like there's a heart
beating inside of my head,
and your screaming is
giving it a heart attack.
- Oh, your head hurts?
- Yeah.
My screaming's making it worse?
- You want to take a nap? No!
- Ow!
We can piece this together, okay?
What was the first thing
we were supposed to do?
I think we had
reservations for Antoine's.
I don't even remember eating last night.
Me, neither.
Everything is a blur after
those drinks we had here.
I just need to get my phone.
I have the whole itinerary on there.
Can someone call it? And-and please,
can you stop breathing so loud?
I don't know where mine is.
None of us have our phones.
(GRUNTS)
I can't find my purse.
Or my wallet.
Okay, this is the part
where you guys tell me this
is all some kind of, you know,
sick psychological joke to see
how I react under pressure.
Tell me there's a safe word.
There's a safe word, right?
Wait, I think I found something.
Oh, my God.
I told you, no sashes.
Yeah, but this one
has the name of a bar on it.
Maybe we went there?
Oh, Mr. Colby's back.
Wonderful.
I have something important to tell him.
Wait, Mrs. Colby,
I think he's in the middle of something.
Jeff, I...
(GASPS)
Not even a sock on
the door as a warning?
Alexis, just give us a minute,
all right?
(CLEARS THROAT)
I'm meeting her tonight.
Hopefully this brings a swift end
to the investigation and we
can get back to business.
In the meantime,
I need a profile of Adam,
for the press conference.
You know,
stories that show he's a good leader
while still humanizing him.
I'm talking gold medal in trout fishing,
captain of the bison team,
whatever kids do in Montana.
Well, I'm sure
that's exactly what they do,
but I'll double-check.
I've been thinking about your
plan to kill the investigation,
and as your right-hand man,
I have concerns.
Do you even know what the plan is?
I assume it involves
blackmail and/or bribery.
Carrington 101.
Well, now, that's Carrington 102.
Carrington 101 is
getting important people
to owe you favors,
specifically for times like these.
Now it's time to call one in.
Right, but what if you're caught
meeting with this person?
Or what if it's a trap? I'd...
I'd just feel more comfortable
if someone else went, like me.
Well, I appreciate the offer,
but this calls for the big dog.
She trusts me.
We're meeting in an abandoned
office building later.
It's gonna be fine.
I've known her for years.
Okay. Let's have a nip of whiskey then
to celebrate our impending success.
Now, there's a good idea.
Mm-hmm. (CHUCKLES)
_
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
The point is, all we have to
go on is this hideous sash.
Apologies if your sister designed it.
But I was hoping you could
tell us anything you remember
- from last night?
- Wait, you're serious?
Like, you don't remember
the mechanical bull riding?
Oh. Is that why my
thighs are killing me?
Gotta say, I'm a little relieved.
The last thing any of us remember
is having drinks at our suite.
Yes, yes. Made by this freaky...
like, hipster voodoo woman
wearing a Halloween costume,
Mistress something?
Mistress Delphine. Hmm.
Yeah, she's, uh, she's famous
for her secret herbal blends.
Which basically act
- like roofies.
- Wow.
Nice background check.
Okay. At least we know who has
our phones and our wallets.
Actually, I...
have one of your phones.
(GASPS) That's mine!
Wait, why do you have your phone?
'Cause this thing's
practically glued to my hand.
- Even Mistress Delphine's magic couldn't touch it.
- But you left it here.
Well, no phones allowed
while riding Sophie.
Okay, there's no photos
because of your rules,
but it looks like we took a Lyft
to a place called Monsieur Reynaud's.
I didn't mean for you to
find out about Mia like that.
But since the cat's
out of the bag, um...
I want a divorce.
(SIGHS): Wow.
Thanks for being so delicate.
I'm sorry, but we need
to face the facts, Alexis.
Our revenge failed.
We lost C.A.
- Game over.
- That's what I came to tell you.
There is still a way to
get what we each want.
I have a new plan.
Don't you ever run out of plans?
No.
Look, when I first saw you in Europe
and we reconnected,
I thought I was dying.
So focusing on revenge made sense.
But I have a new liver
and a new lease on life.
I just want to move on, you know?
Maybe settle down and...
I really like Mia.
Mm-hmm.
We had a deal.
One year of wedded bliss in exchange
for my testimony against Blake.
Yeah, testimony that
turned out to be worthless.
Look, I promise,
I will give you a very
generous settlement
for terminating our deal early.
- Okay?
- FALLON: What possessed us
to come into this dump in
the middle of the night?
Oh, hi.
I'm sor... Fallon Carrington.
- I love your store.
- Mm.
Do you happen to remember
us from last night?
You're a hard group to forget.
Except, where's the fourth one?
She's...
she's outside trying not to hurl.
Speaking of last night,
when we came in here,
was there a man with us?
Um, probably very handsome.
Husband material.
No, but you talked about a wedding
to someone named Scorpio.
(STIFLED LAUGH)
- Scorpio?
- (CHUCKLES)
I married a man with an
astrological sign for a name.
Let me show you the
surveillance footage.
- Maybe that'll help.
- Yes! - Yes!
- (PHONE CHIMING, VIBRATING)
- Oh, God.
Who keeps calling me?
"Unknown number."
Decline.
SAM (ON VIDEO): Oh, my God!
- So...
- Fallon.
- (ON VIDEO): I love it!
- Oh.
Well, that shirt is...
Can we delete this after we're done?
How much did I spend?
SAM: Wait, I don't know if I want...
- Do you have your wallet?
- No.
- Sir, can we pay for it tomorrow?
- Can we come back tomorrow?
No, no, no.
- (SHOUTING)
- Hey!
Hey!
Um...
- did we...
- Rob my store last night?
Yeah.
Well, was a baseball bat
- really necessary?
- FALLON: Listen,
we will pay for all of this
once we get our wallets.
REYNAUD: I hit the silent alarm
as soon as I saw you return.
I'll take that back now.
And don't forget the woman
who's throwing up outside.
Hey, Fallon, I have a new name for you:
Felon Carrington.
Ugly!
- Uh, sir?
- Yeah? Make it quick.
- I can't be late.
- My investigator's
been looking into Adam's
childhood in Montana
- for that profile you were talking about.
- Mm-hmm.
And while they found an
adorable moment or two,
they also found sealed
juvenile court records.
Yeah, well, who doesn't have
sealed court records, huh?
- Boys'll be boys.
- Sir.
I paid a premium to have
those records unsealed,
and discovered that young Adam
had a history of violent outbursts,
particularly towards his adopted mother.
Well, that's not exactly
a news flash, is it?
We know Adam's got a temper...
He burned down my vineyard.
He's a good son.
He basically saved our lives.
Forget the profile.
- We don't need it.
- I'll have my men return home.
- (CELL DOOR CLOSES)
- I think they're required
to give us food soon.
What?
I'm trying to look at the bright side.
I don't think you
should be in charge of
the entertainment anymore.
You told me you wanted the
party to be extra crazy,
'cause you were mad at Liam for
not trusting you, okay? So...
I didn't ask you to have us
drugged and thrown in jail.
Oh, no, he's right, though.
This whole thing started
because you were angry at Liam
when all he did was save your dad.
Stop taking his side.
I'm not taking his side.
I'm actually taking Adam's side,
because...
- Don't even say it.
- It's not the time, Kirby.
We're seeing each other.
Ugh! Wow.
Well, good luck with that.
You should have invited Adam, too.
I mean, Cristal's here.
I'm here because I thought
it'd be a nice way of showing
that no matter what happens with Blake,
we could still be friends.
No, you said you were here
so you could drink Blake into oblivion.
I could do that anywhere.
Now I'm starting to understand
Liam's point of view.
How can he trust you?
You do go overboard on everything.
You're mad at Liam,
you marry someone else.
You're mad at me, you ice me out.
You probably gave me this black eye!
Well, if I did, believe me,
it is the one thing
I wish I could remember.
- (OVERLAPPING CHATTER)
- Oh, my God, you are the most...
ungrateful, spiteful...
Shut up!
MICHAEL: Hello?
Ah, thank God.
Mmm, mmm!
Mmm.
Thank you for meeting
and giving me a chance
to apologize for earlier.
I assure you I was merely surprised.
I would have been startled, too.
That is kind of you to understand.
Jeff said you were sweet.
He did?
He is head over heels for you.
And I'm just so happy
he's finally found someone
he's thinking about more seriously.
He can be a difficult man
to pin down, that one.
(CHUCKLES) He was
always kind of a player.
- Mm.
- But you two are platonic, right?
Like, I'm not stepping on anything?
You have nothing to worry about.
(GASPS): Oh!
Oh!
Alexis, ugh, you are so clumsy.
Oh.
A little soda water,
and it'll come right out.
Oh, I think it's...
gonna take more than that, dear.
You know what?
Why don't you take mine?
- No. That's fine. It's-it's okay.
- No, no,
no, I insist.
You can't run around
town with Jeff Colby,
carrying a purse that looks like
it was stolen from an aquarium.
(CHUCKLES)
Consider it a "get to know you" gift.
Thank you.
Thank you, that means a lot.
So, how did you know we were here?
Well, Kirby called.
Because apparently,
you won't contact Liam.
Don't tell me you're still
mad about the Moldavia thing?
He made a life-or-death
decision on my behalf
because of the way he
assumed I would react.
I mean, is that
how our marriage is gonna be?
I'm sure he thought he was
doing what was best for you.
Well, I didn't ask him to...
which is why
it is all going into the prenup.
I am going to force him
to think of me as an equal
and not some unreasonable
child that he has to rein in.
Fallon, I'm sure he doesn't think that.
And if he does,
then that's something
you two need to work out.
(SIGHS) I liked it better
when you hated him.
Still not a big fan.
All right, I've got to head back
- and give the team back their plane.
- Okay.
We're good to go. Thanks for this.
Of course. What's the point
of having your own plane
if you can't use it on
the spur of the moment?
I take it you all can
make it home on your own.
But why don't I have
to bail out Allison?
- She didn't end up coming?
- Allison?
- We forgot about Allison.
- What if she's lost?
Or lying in a ditch somewhere,
and she's trying to
call us over and over,
and her voice is getting weaker,
- and she's reaching for her phone...
- Shh, shh, shh.
- Give me your phone.
- What?
I think she was trying
to call us over and over.
- What?
- The unknown number, that must have been her.
Allison?
(GASPS)
- Okay. Where are you?
- (RELIEVED SIGH)
Okay. Okay, okay, okay.
Fine, we'll be right there.
How did you know it was her?
Well, listening
to your horror story just now
made me think back to
this morning in the room
when the phone kept ringing,
and then I realized
the only person annoying
enough to call every hour
- is Allison.
- So where is she?
- She's in the hospital.
- What? - I'm just praying
she remembers something
about my wedding.
And that she's okay.
- Of course.
- Thank you.
I need a quick and favorable ruling.
Which should be simple,
since your department is handling
- the probe into C.A.
- I know I owe you, Blake,
but you're asking a lot.
This is a high-profile case for us.
All right, think of it this way.
The more powerful I am,
the more influence I'll have
to help you get that Secretary
of Energy spot one day.
That doesn't happen if
you don't fix this for me.
You do make a very good point.
- (SCREAMS)
- BLAKE: What the...?
- (GAS HISSING)
- (COUGHING)
This way.
What the hell was that?
(COUGHING)
(BLAKE AND WALKER COUGH)
Are you okay?
Not really.
You clearly have Moldavian
terrorists after you.
I don't need my life in danger.
It's just a smoke canister.
I think it's pretty clear they're here
and they are angry.
And I haven't even done
anything for you yet.
Who knows how far they'll
go if I actually help?
You can't do this, Olivia.
I need you to end this investigation.
It's too hot right now,
and I'm not gonna do anything
to jeopardize my career or my family.
I'm sorry. We need to wait
until everything cools down.
So, any big plans tomorrow?
Mm... going to work,
yoga, meal prep for the week.
Nothing too insane, huh?
I think I've outgrown
the insane in my life.
Oh, wait. Some days I skip the gym.
That's crazy, right?
- Wild.
- (LAUGHS)
MIA: Mm. Those martinis are strong.
Now I need to go visit the ladies' room.
♪ ♪
Mia, huh? I've been
on a few dates with her, too.
You used the Sugar4Hire app, right?
Sugar4Hire?
We both know who she is.
Mia only dates wealthy guys.
Expensive tastes, but...
worth every penny.
Hey. Have fun, man.
I sure did.
It's all right, Tony, I found it.
Only my daughter would use
a priceless work of art
to house common weeds. Hmm.
_
Yes. Ignore my previous phone call.
Uh, keep investigating Adam Carrington.
Go as deep as necessary.
Report back only to me.
JEFF: You ever hear of Sugar4Hire?
Is it food delivery?
Because this crudité isn't cutting it.
It's a service that
matches younger women
with rich men to date.
I'm not that desperate, Jeff.
I found Mia's profile on there.
Turns out she's a gold digger.
Only after me for my money.
I am so sorry.
You can't tell about some people.
Oh, and you should've seen this
$20,000 bag she was carrying.
And when I mentioned it,
she made up this crazy story
that you gave it to her.
What? (LAUGHS)
I mean, we met for drinks,
but I wouldn't even
give Fallon that bag.
No, she must've gotten it from
one of those sugar daddies.
That harlot. She doesn't deserve you.
- Okay, you can drop the act.
- What act?
Did you really think I
wouldn't figure it out?
I'm a tech billionaire, Alexis.
I did a background check on
Mia before we even went out.
That sugar baby profile never popped up.
So then I hacked into
your credit card account.
That's a violation of my privacy.
Are you gonna call the police?
Huh? Anyway,
I saw you bought that bag this morning.
Why the hell are you trying
to ruin my relationship?
Because...
...I'm your wife.
By arrangement.
There's no reason for us
to stay married anymore.
I like being Mrs. Colby, okay?
It gives me a certain cachet in society
and name recognition for my podcast.
You know what? I've had enough of this.
I'm filing for divorce in the morning.
Thought I'd bring your favorite.
I trust the meeting went well?
Actually, it didn't.
The Moldavian government
sent someone to attack us.
What? A-Are you okay?
Yeah, I'm fine.
It was more of a warning, really.
Nobody was hurt.
My eyes got a little red.
So, your contact,
are they still gonna help, or...?
No, she was, she was shaken.
Really upset.
But your old man was able
to turn things around.
- (LAUGHS)
- You were?
Yeah. Well, the attack
gave me a great idea.
You know,
it's just a short leap from caving
to terrorists to working with them.
So I asked Walker what her
boss would think if she was
in business with the Moldavians.
It'd be so easy to make it look
like she was getting kickbacks
from them to screw over
an upstanding American
citizen such as myself.
This time tomorrow,
C.A. will be back online,
those tankers will be at our refinery,
just in time for the press conference.
That's how we do it.
Drop the pudding. We need to talk.
What do you remember about last night?
And most importantly, do you remember
- who I married?
- You married someone?
Oh, my God. You were supposed
to be the responsible one.
I'm so sorry.
The nurse told me I fell
off a mechanical bull.
Guess none of you noticed,
because a stranger
brought me here with a concussion.
We just left you there?
Yeah, but don't feel bad.
I broke out of my comfort
zone and had a great time.
I assume.
Well, now I do feel bad.
Not because of you, so much,
but because we're leaving tomorrow,
and I have to tell Liam,
my fiancé, that I married
someone else because I got mad.
Which just proves his point.
I am a child. Why should I be trusted?
I do go overboard.
Well, I mean, we all went overboard.
It's not just on you.
Yeah.
Look, guys,
I'm sorry that I yelled at you
when you were just trying to
do what I wanted you to do
and be a good bride tribe.
And good friends.
You know what?
It doesn't matter whose fault it is.
What matters is that we've dodged jail,
ridden bulls.
- Stolen jewelry.
- Wrestled anacondas.
JENNINGS:
So we can definitely figure out
this Scorpio situation, together.
KIRBY: Or...
we just make sure that Liam never,
ever finds out about it.
Girl code, right?
I can help as soon as I change.
Can someone undo this thing?
- No. Not my job.
- Ah, come here.
- Oh.
- What is it? Is it bad?
FALLON: "Scorpio"?
"The Anaconda Club"?
- Why does that sound familiar?
- It's a strip club.
Oh, come on. I married a stripper?
The staff told me you were here.
It's nice Blake occasionally lets you
out of the house for some air.
Now, to what do I owe this headache,
because I am really not in the mood.
I've just discovered that my
daughter is dating your son.
Really?
Well, good taste has never been
one of Adam's strong suits.
I could say the same about Kirby.
But I've been looking into Adam's past,
and I'm a bit worried.
He's left quite a trail
of violence behind him.
Now, I know you two
have always been close,
but has he ever hurt you?
(SCOFFS)
Adam is a mama's boy
through and through.
He would never hurt me.
He actually saved my life when I tripped
into the fireplace and burned my face.
You know, I've always wondered,
how does one trip into a fireplace?
And lie there long enough
for their face to melt off?
Well, you'd think
your reflexes would kick in.
Well, my reflexes were
slowed from too much wine.
I'm fortunate my son
arrived when he did,
and that's all there is
to that story, I'm afraid.
Yeah, well, I'm probably just
being an overprotective father.
I'll show myself out.
♪ Hey, you don't want no... problem ♪
♪ You know, uh-uh... ♪
I told you no strip clubs.
Well, I was under the influence.
But how great is this place?
♪ ♪
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
I don't think so. Okay? Out.
- Out.
- Whoa. What do you mean, out?
- We just got here.
- No, no, no.
You were banned from
the club last night.
What? Why?
She jumped onstage
for a lap dance,
but her face got in the way
of a stripper's elbow.
We had to kick you
all out for rowdiness.
- I'm sorry I accused you of punching me.
- Mm-hmm.
Then you all snuck back in,
and you ran off with Andy.
I would never run off with an Andy.
Okay?
Wait, is Andy an anaconda?
You know what? Just get out of here,
all right? Before I call the cops.
No... Okay, come on.
We don't need to go to jail again.
FALLON: We can't just give up.
We need a New Orleans miracle.
What?
(ALL GASP)
- (CHEERING)
- SAM: Yeah, baby!
- Allison...
- Hey! My walkie!
- KIRBY: Go, Allison!
- FALLON: Let's go.
You need to give that girl a raise.
FALLON: Hurry!
The smoke bomb did scare her,
but somehow Blake
still managed to talk her into it.
It was a good plan,
but your father always manages
to weasel his way out of trouble.
All right, so we figure out another way.
An un-weaselable way.
(SIGHS)
Between this plan failing
and Jeff wanting a divorce...
maybe it's time to move on.
Do you want to talk about it?
I'm not in the mood yet.
Great, neither am I,
but here's the thing.
You're the one who taught
me never to give up.
Blake would've left
me to rot in a dungeon
just to save C.A.;
he would've kept you from your children.
That's why we continue to fight
for whatever we want.
This is the first time you've
ever given me a pep talk.
Look at my boy.
All grown up.
Well, your boy has a new plan.
And all I need is your trust.
And a little money.
- Is that all there is?
- Yes, it's her entire medical file
from the night she fell into the fire.
♪ I feel the motion,
just setting in... ♪
(CHEERING, CLAMORING)
How do we know which is Scorpio?
They all seem equally... oily.
Well, maybe they have
their names written
on their tiny little underwear.
♪ ♪
I think we're gonna need
a closer inspection.
Fine, I'll do it.
ANNOUNCER: And now...
the moment you've been waiting for.
Let's give it up for Scorpio!
(CHEERING)
(WHOOPING)
♪ ♪
Oh, my God, my God, that's him...
he's wearing my ring!
Well, we don't have much time.
Security could come back
any second... Go, go talk to him.
Excuse me, excuse me,
excuse me, excuse me...
Scorpio?
Scorpio... Please wave your dollars
at some another banana hammock,
okay, that's my husband!
Scorpio! Scorpio, over here!
Get up there, Fallon!
♪ Almost rang the phone
off the wall... ♪
- Pop that booty!
- I can't watch.
♪ This evening ♪
♪ I need some hot stuff,
baby, tonight... ♪
Hey. Yeah.
Scorpio?
Scorpio?
Is this Scorpio?
Okay. Listen, sir,
I think you have my ring.
Scorpio?
(WHOOPS)
I'll just come back later.
He seems busy.
- Oh!
- (WHOOPS)
- Oh!
- ♪ Hot stuff... ♪
Your mother would be very proud.
Hi. Um, if I could just talk
to you for one second...
Really? Okay.
(CHEERING)
(WHOOPING)
If I could just...
♪ Hot stuff... ♪
(WHOOPING)
Yes. We like that.
Very good. You done?
(CHEERING)
ANNOUNCER: All right,
let's hear it again for Scorpio!
Wow, this is officially the
best bachelorette party ever.
Never speak of this again.
Hi. Finally.
- Fallon Carrington.
- Yeah, I know.
I was wondering when you
guys were coming back.
Oh. You mean,
when we were gonna come back,
or when you could score
some more free bling?
Apparently, I'm your wife.
My wife?
No, uh, I didn't marry you.
I married him.
♪ Something in the air tonight... ♪
What?
What now?
I'm not ready to give
up on our marriage.
Even if that means having
to tell you the truth
about my feelings and
letting you see the real me.
Well,
this is kind of the third real you,
but I get it.
I didn't like seeing you with that girl.
I think there's something between us,
and you know it, too.
You were the first person to
visit me after my accident.
You tried to protect me from Adam,
and you came to see me
when you thought you were dying.
If all of that means nothing,
I'll give you your divorce.
Maybe there is a seed
of something between us.
But if we went there, it-it'd get messy.
You are a lot, Alexis.
Look at the stunt you pulled with Mia.
That's not what I need right now.
What you don't need
is simple, uncomplicated Mia.
She will make you dull.
And one day,
she will do something even worse.
She will bore you.
Sometimes, a man just wants to take
the easy, well-paved road.
Not Jeff Colby.
Yeah, I pulled that stunt.
I keep you on your toes.
And if you have a new lease on life,
why not choose the
more interesting life?
So, the first time we came in...
Everyone was pretty wasted.
Especially you.
I heard.
But I'm-I'm not like that, really.
Well, normally. I-I have a lot going on.
Anyway, uh, in all the chaos,
you left your phones
and wallets here, so...
- FALLON: Oh, thank you.
- Yeah, of course.
So, um, when exactly did I propose?
I mean, I assume that I was
the one who proposed, right?
Yeah, you did. Uh, apparently,
you went to the bar and were moved
by some story that Fallon
was telling everyone
about marrying a total
stranger and falling in love.
- Oh, yes! Yes!
- Yeah?
Me and Liam. Aw.
What a sweet story.
You see? Sometimes,
going overboard pays off.
- So, what else did he say I said?
- Not your turn.
So, then we must have gone to that store
to buy wedding clothes, right?
Or steal them.
Well, you came back all decked out
and got down on a knee
with Fallon's ring.
Wow. I cannot believe I
let you borrow my ring
to propose to a stripper.
Well, you asked for mine as collateral.
Well, at least my business sense
still remained intact
when I was blackout drunk.
Uh, so, that would explain
this gumball machine ring
- I'm wearing.
- SCORPIO: Yeah.
We got married at an all-night chapel.
Wow. Blackout me is leaving
sober me speechless.
- (SIGHS)
- Well, as useful as you have been,
Scorpio, I would, uh,
- like my ring back.
- Oh, yeah.
- There you go.
- (CHUCKLES): Oh, man. I got to tell you,
I am really happy we're not married,
'cause that would have been bad. Yeah.
- Bye. Thanks so much.
- SCORPIO: Bye.
- Thank you.
- KIRBY: It was really nice to meet you.
- SCORPIO: Yeah. Bye.
- Bye.
So, we can get an easy annulment,
- right?
- Yeah.
- Of course. But, hey, can I...
- (EXHALES)
Can I call you if I'm in Atlanta?
Last night was, uh, actually pretty fun.
You know,
maybe we could start with a-a date.
(CHUCKLES) Um, look,
you seem really cool,
but, um, I'm actually
trying to keep it cas.
You know,
not really looking to settle down.
Right.
Well,
just in case you change your mind,
there it is.
- Ryan?
- Mm-hmm.
Thank God your name's not Scorpio.
(CHUCKLES)
I can't tell you how
proud and thrilled I am
to have the company back in the family
and to be CEO once again,
this time with my son as my number two.
Now, you all know
that Carrington Atlantic
is already a hugely profitable company,
- but I plan to...
- (PHONES CHIMING)
- WOMAN: Are you seeing this?
- MAN: Mr. Carrington?
NEWSWOMAN: Mr. Carrington?
Mr. Carrington, what can you tell us
about the refinery explosion?
How will the loss of $500 million in oil
- affect C.A.?
- That...
(REPORTERS CLAMORING)
What the hell is that?
- Is that one of ours?
- It was.
Apparently,
the Moldavian oil was tainted.
Caused an explosion at the refinery.
There's no casualties,
but it's gonna be a nightmare
financially and PR-wise.
They're gonna be out for blood.
Yeah, I know that.
NEWSWOMAN: Mr. Carrington?
The press conference is over.
No questions.
- Mr. Carrington. Mr. Carrington!
- Mr. Carrington. Mr. Carrington!
- Mr. Carrington!
- Mr. Carrington, wait!
You were right.
The prenup was a bad idea.
You know, and even though
I didn't marry Magic Mike,
I am capable of going a little crazy.
So you're saying Liam was right?
No, no, no. I'm not saying he was right.
I'm saying I understand
why he made that decision.
And Culhane may have talked
- a little sense into me.
- Oh.
I guess I can't have all the
control in a partnership.
You giving up control?
- Ha!
- SAM: Guys?
I just found some pictures
of our first trip to the strip club.
What?
- I want to see.
- And yes, I broke
your "no pictures" rule,
but what did you expect?
Some of these were sent
- by Ryan.
- KIRBY: Your wedding!
Ooh.
- KIRBY: Ooh!
- SAM: Yes, bitch.
- Work.
- (CHUCKLES)
KIRBY: Ow!
- Oh.
- SAM: All right, Allison.
- KIRBY: Aw.
- FALLON: No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
- That's disgusting.
- KIRBY: Send it to me.
JENNINGS: Ooh.
Oh, honey.
I meant what I said in jail.
I hope we can stay friends,
no matter what happens
with me and your dad.
Don't worry.
You'll always be my
second evil stepmother.
- (ALL CHUCKLE)
- Cute.
(SIGHS)
Oh, again with the lurking.
I know you're dating Adam.
You need to stay away from him.
What happened to trusting
me with my own love life?
I would if I didn't care about you.
What are you even on about?
Adam's dangerous.
He has a history of hurting people.
I-In fact,
Alexis didn't fall into the fireplace.
He shoved her into it.
He burned her. He's deranged.
And you believe that lying bitch?
She claimed
that I burned the manor
down so you'd send me away.
Yeah, again, I'm sorry about that.
But I verified this with
the hospital records.
Alexis claimed she was drunk.
That's why she tripped.
But her tox report came back clean.
She had bruising on
her back and her neck,
like someone had been holding her down.
Hello? You're the one
that sounds deranged.
It's obvious you don't
like that I'm dating Adam,
and you're using lies to break us up.
If you'll just listen to me...
Oh, I'm done listening.
(ALEXIS MOANS)
So, I assume our deal is back on
and we're gonna stay married
the rest of the year?
Can we just take it day by day?
Mmm. I can do that.
But I think you're gonna
want to extend our contract
after you see this.
Adam bribed the ship's captain
to poison the oil tanker
with a toxic solution,
and once it reached the refinery...
(IMITATES EXPLOSION)
Blake lost half a billion dollars,
and this is just the beginning.
I admire your resilience, Alexis.
And I'll support you if that's
what you want to focus on.
But I meant what I said.
Life is too short to waste
it avenging the past.
Right now, I just want to enjoy myself.
I can help with that, too.
Hey, Cristal. Um...
Yeah, I know I haven't called you.
Uh, but I just wanted
to give you some space.
And, um...
It's been a really bad day.
Yeah, I've only been CEO a week,
and the company's already
on the brink financially.
It's really hard to trust anyone
when you're a Carrington.
And it's even harder to let
yourself love sometimes.
But you pushed past all my defenses.
You're the only one
that I want to talk to
and be with when the going gets tough.
So...
Would you please come back?
- What's wrong?
- (EXHALES)
My dad doesn't like me seeing you.
Really? Um...
He told me you were dangerous,
and he went on and on
with this insane story
about how you shoved
Alexis into a fireplace?
What?
Did my mother tell him that?
No clue.
All I know is it's ridiculous.
- I don't know why I brought it up.
- I-It is.
It's completely ridiculous. Don't...
Don't even think about it.
Whatever. It's been a crazy 48 hours
since I last saw you,
and I did promise you
- some steamy new moves.
- Mm-hmm.
Cream or sugar?
I'm good. Thank you.
So, what are you going
to be doing up north?
Some fly-fishing?
- More like hunting.
- Hmm.
- Mia? Of all the bars in Atlanta,
you walk into mine.
I like secretly dating a doctor.
- My company's in trouble.
- Our marriage is in trouble.
Carrington Atlantic oil tankers
are being held up in
Moldavian shipping lanes.
We're actually flying to Moldavia
to try and rescue Blake and Anders
from kidnappers without
getting ourselves killed.
You were right. I just rescued Blake
and Liam from prison.
What did he just say?
So, I asked Liam,
if his father was in mortal danger
and in a Moldavian prison,
wouldn't he want to know?
And then he reminded me that
his father is dead and also had
an affair and a child
with his son's girlfriend,
so probably not,
which really wasn't the point.
No, the point is that
neither of our fathers died,
so I don't know why you're upset.
I'm upset because Liam kept
this kidnapping from me
because he said I
would've gone overboard
and made everything worse, which means
he doesn't trust me to be
an adult or responsible.
Well, I'm glad no one told me,
because I would've been a wreck.
Yes, you would have folded like
a cheap accordion under pressure.
Luckily, I've been dealing
with things like this
since I was wearing monogrammed onesies.
Still, the guys saved them
at the end of the day.
Why are you still defending him?
Do they not have girl code in Australia?
Luckily, I've got it all figured out.
My lawyers have been
working on a little prenup.
You know, rules for our marriage.
Mostly for Liam.
Like, to be true partners
and to not keep secrets and to
treat me as a responsible adult
in all matters of importance.
Right, so it's a contract?
That should go down well.
You know what, Kirby?
I am starting to feel
a little bit attacked right now,
so I am gonna ban any more Liam talk
until after our retail therapy day.
Right, um, hang on,
I forgot my sunglasses.
I'll meet you outside.
- No!
- DISTORTED VOICE: Don't say a word.
Yes, I saw the flowers.
They're beautiful, thank you.
Well, when I get back, I can show you
some even steamier moves.
What did I miss during
my two days in Moldavia?
Has anyone ever told you you're
freakishly good at lurking?
So you're seeing someone now?
Yes, but please don't pressure
me into talking about it.
It's still early.
Of course.
You'll tell me when you're ready.
There comes a stage
in every father's life
where he has to learn
to trust and respect
his daughter's decisions
about her love life.
(PHONE CHIMES, VIBRATES)
Well,
- good chat, but I have a flight to catch.
- What?
- Where are you going?
- Trust and respect. Remember?
Carrington Atlantic
was right in my hands,
and somehow Blake managed
to snatch it away.
I probably should've
left him in Moldavia.
The rescue confirmed what
I knew all along about him.
He is a cruel, heartless monster.
That's exactly how I described
him in my divorce filings.
Well, you were right, as usual,
which is why I am prepared
to continue this battle.
As thrilling as your loyalty is,
I'm not sure we have any
moves left in this war.
(CHUCKLES): Uh-uh-uh.
I do have some good news.
Guess who Blake just named
as second-in-command at C.A.
Yeah. This guy.
You really buried the lede.
Now, I don't think we can
take C.A. away from him.
Though with my very
clever son on the inside,
maybe we can destroy it and
crush Blake in the process.
You still have connections at the
Atlanta Journal-Constitution, right?
You're not getting away with this.
I will kill you.
Oh, come on. It's the perfect way
to start a bachelorette party.
It gets your heart rate pumping.
Hi, Fallon.
What is my assistant doing here,
or am I still hallucinating
from the polyester bag
that was over my face?
I invited Allison as a babysitter.
I prefer "chaperone."
SAM:
Someone needs to make sure we don't,
- you know, shave our heads.
- What is this?
Is there anyone you didn't invite?
I mean,
are Liam's exes about to show up?
Okay, I ran into Cristal at the hotel,
and she was eating there all by herself,
and, well, I've never seen
anyone chew so sadly.
But she lied to me just
as much as Liam did.
Don't worry,
I will stay out of your way.
I just need a getaway from
my life and to let loose.
FALLON: Oh, wow.
This is off to a great start.
BLAKE: It's my third marriage.
I get it.
Cristal just needs
some peaceful time away
to realize that she doesn't
really want to leave.
Until then,
I can focus on Carrington Atlantic.
As long as you're okay.
I'm great.
The tankers are en
route to our refinery,
and I'm kick-starting the new
C.A. with a press conference
announcing that Blake Carrington
is CEO again.
I think you should be
right there by my side.
I would love nothing more.
Sorry to interrupt, sir.
I'm sure it's bad,
since you never
interrupt with good news.
Well, good news can wait.
Bad news needs to be dealt with.
- Mm-hmm.
- In this case,
the press got wind
that you've stolen oil
from the small nation of Moldavia.
Now the Department of Energy
has launched an investigation
into C.A. for possible misconduct.
This is ridiculous.
I didn't steal anything.
It's not my fault that
Laura Van Kirk set me up.
Yeah, just because the king
decided to nationalize oil
doesn't mean they can take what
our company's already paid for.
Well, unfortunately,
until the Energy Department
officially agrees with your assessment,
all C.A. operations
have been frozen.
How the hell did the press
even find out about this?
Perhaps we should cancel
the press conference.
No. No,
we can't look like we're panicking.
- So what are we doing?
- Panicking.
Turning to friends in high
places who can help kill
this investigation.
SAM:
Welcome to Fallon's bachelorette HQ.
We have views, 24-hour butler service,
an on-call masseuse
and, for a true New Orleans experience,
Mistress Delphine,
maker of magic, creator of potions.
- Oh, so she's a bartender.
- Mm-hmm.
All right, well, that's good,
because I still have
a giant, Liam-sized headache to erase.
I'll have whatever she's having.
If I'm gonna go crazy, I'm gonna need
a little more than my usual Chardonnay.
Okay, well, make mine extra strong,
'cause I'm feeling
myself after saving lives
and Sammy Ho is going out tonight.
Uh, can you make mine a triple?
- I'll take one of those, too.
- SAM: What?
No. You're chaperoning.
♪ Yeah ♪
Thank you. Oh, oh, before we drink,
a couple ground rules, okay?
No tacky strip clubs,
no tacky blow-up dolls,
no ugly bachelorette sashes...
Oh, and no photos,
in case they turn out tacky and ugly.
Other than that,
here is to an untacky night to remember.
(CHEERING, WHOOPING)
(PHONE RINGING)
(SCREAMS)
Snake on the floor! Snake on the floo...
(GRUNTS)
What the hell?
What happened to your face?
And whose clothes are these?
Where did you get that diamond necklace?
(GROANS)
WOMAN (OVER PHONE): Hello?
Hello?
Okay, who stole my engagement ring?
What the hell happened last night?
Oh.
Well, apparently, I got married.
And I'm assuming it wasn't to Liam.
♪ ♪
What the hell are we gonna do?
This is not good.
No. No, um, it's actually pretty bad.
At least Britney Spears knew
who she was marrying in Vegas.
Remind me not to invite you
to my next bachelorette party.
I feel like there's a heart
beating inside of my head,
and your screaming is
giving it a heart attack.
- Oh, your head hurts?
- Yeah.
My screaming's making it worse?
- You want to take a nap? No!
- Ow!
We can piece this together, okay?
What was the first thing
we were supposed to do?
I think we had
reservations for Antoine's.
I don't even remember eating last night.
Me, neither.
Everything is a blur after
those drinks we had here.
I just need to get my phone.
I have the whole itinerary on there.
Can someone call it? And-and please,
can you stop breathing so loud?
I don't know where mine is.
None of us have our phones.
(GRUNTS)
I can't find my purse.
Or my wallet.
Okay, this is the part
where you guys tell me this
is all some kind of, you know,
sick psychological joke to see
how I react under pressure.
Tell me there's a safe word.
There's a safe word, right?
Wait, I think I found something.
Oh, my God.
I told you, no sashes.
Yeah, but this one
has the name of a bar on it.
Maybe we went there?
Oh, Mr. Colby's back.
Wonderful.
I have something important to tell him.
Wait, Mrs. Colby,
I think he's in the middle of something.
Jeff, I...
(GASPS)
Not even a sock on
the door as a warning?
Alexis, just give us a minute,
all right?
(CLEARS THROAT)
I'm meeting her tonight.
Hopefully this brings a swift end
to the investigation and we
can get back to business.
In the meantime,
I need a profile of Adam,
for the press conference.
You know,
stories that show he's a good leader
while still humanizing him.
I'm talking gold medal in trout fishing,
captain of the bison team,
whatever kids do in Montana.
Well, I'm sure
that's exactly what they do,
but I'll double-check.
I've been thinking about your
plan to kill the investigation,
and as your right-hand man,
I have concerns.
Do you even know what the plan is?
I assume it involves
blackmail and/or bribery.
Carrington 101.
Well, now, that's Carrington 102.
Carrington 101 is
getting important people
to owe you favors,
specifically for times like these.
Now it's time to call one in.
Right, but what if you're caught
meeting with this person?
Or what if it's a trap? I'd...
I'd just feel more comfortable
if someone else went, like me.
Well, I appreciate the offer,
but this calls for the big dog.
She trusts me.
We're meeting in an abandoned
office building later.
It's gonna be fine.
I've known her for years.
Okay. Let's have a nip of whiskey then
to celebrate our impending success.
Now, there's a good idea.
Mm-hmm. (CHUCKLES)
_
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
The point is, all we have to
go on is this hideous sash.
Apologies if your sister designed it.
But I was hoping you could
tell us anything you remember
- from last night?
- Wait, you're serious?
Like, you don't remember
the mechanical bull riding?
Oh. Is that why my
thighs are killing me?
Gotta say, I'm a little relieved.
The last thing any of us remember
is having drinks at our suite.
Yes, yes. Made by this freaky...
like, hipster voodoo woman
wearing a Halloween costume,
Mistress something?
Mistress Delphine. Hmm.
Yeah, she's, uh, she's famous
for her secret herbal blends.
Which basically act
- like roofies.
- Wow.
Nice background check.
Okay. At least we know who has
our phones and our wallets.
Actually, I...
have one of your phones.
(GASPS) That's mine!
Wait, why do you have your phone?
'Cause this thing's
practically glued to my hand.
- Even Mistress Delphine's magic couldn't touch it.
- But you left it here.
Well, no phones allowed
while riding Sophie.
Okay, there's no photos
because of your rules,
but it looks like we took a Lyft
to a place called Monsieur Reynaud's.
I didn't mean for you to
find out about Mia like that.
But since the cat's
out of the bag, um...
I want a divorce.
(SIGHS): Wow.
Thanks for being so delicate.
I'm sorry, but we need
to face the facts, Alexis.
Our revenge failed.
We lost C.A.
- Game over.
- That's what I came to tell you.
There is still a way to
get what we each want.
I have a new plan.
Don't you ever run out of plans?
No.
Look, when I first saw you in Europe
and we reconnected,
I thought I was dying.
So focusing on revenge made sense.
But I have a new liver
and a new lease on life.
I just want to move on, you know?
Maybe settle down and...
I really like Mia.
Mm-hmm.
We had a deal.
One year of wedded bliss in exchange
for my testimony against Blake.
Yeah, testimony that
turned out to be worthless.
Look, I promise,
I will give you a very
generous settlement
for terminating our deal early.
- Okay?
- FALLON: What possessed us
to come into this dump in
the middle of the night?
Oh, hi.
I'm sor... Fallon Carrington.
- I love your store.
- Mm.
Do you happen to remember
us from last night?
You're a hard group to forget.
Except, where's the fourth one?
She's...
she's outside trying not to hurl.
Speaking of last night,
when we came in here,
was there a man with us?
Um, probably very handsome.
Husband material.
No, but you talked about a wedding
to someone named Scorpio.
(STIFLED LAUGH)
- Scorpio?
- (CHUCKLES)
I married a man with an
astrological sign for a name.
Let me show you the
surveillance footage.
- Maybe that'll help.
- Yes! - Yes!
- (PHONE CHIMING, VIBRATING)
- Oh, God.
Who keeps calling me?
"Unknown number."
Decline.
SAM (ON VIDEO): Oh, my God!
- So...
- Fallon.
- (ON VIDEO): I love it!
- Oh.
Well, that shirt is...
Can we delete this after we're done?
How much did I spend?
SAM: Wait, I don't know if I want...
- Do you have your wallet?
- No.
- Sir, can we pay for it tomorrow?
- Can we come back tomorrow?
No, no, no.
- (SHOUTING)
- Hey!
Hey!
Um...
- did we...
- Rob my store last night?
Yeah.
Well, was a baseball bat
- really necessary?
- FALLON: Listen,
we will pay for all of this
once we get our wallets.
REYNAUD: I hit the silent alarm
as soon as I saw you return.
I'll take that back now.
And don't forget the woman
who's throwing up outside.
Hey, Fallon, I have a new name for you:
Felon Carrington.
Ugly!
- Uh, sir?
- Yeah? Make it quick.
- I can't be late.
- My investigator's
been looking into Adam's
childhood in Montana
- for that profile you were talking about.
- Mm-hmm.
And while they found an
adorable moment or two,
they also found sealed
juvenile court records.
Yeah, well, who doesn't have
sealed court records, huh?
- Boys'll be boys.
- Sir.
I paid a premium to have
those records unsealed,
and discovered that young Adam
had a history of violent outbursts,
particularly towards his adopted mother.
Well, that's not exactly
a news flash, is it?
We know Adam's got a temper...
He burned down my vineyard.
He's a good son.
He basically saved our lives.
Forget the profile.
- We don't need it.
- I'll have my men return home.
- (CELL DOOR CLOSES)
- I think they're required
to give us food soon.
What?
I'm trying to look at the bright side.
I don't think you
should be in charge of
the entertainment anymore.
You told me you wanted the
party to be extra crazy,
'cause you were mad at Liam for
not trusting you, okay? So...
I didn't ask you to have us
drugged and thrown in jail.
Oh, no, he's right, though.
This whole thing started
because you were angry at Liam
when all he did was save your dad.
Stop taking his side.
I'm not taking his side.
I'm actually taking Adam's side,
because...
- Don't even say it.
- It's not the time, Kirby.
We're seeing each other.
Ugh! Wow.
Well, good luck with that.
You should have invited Adam, too.
I mean, Cristal's here.
I'm here because I thought
it'd be a nice way of showing
that no matter what happens with Blake,
we could still be friends.
No, you said you were here
so you could drink Blake into oblivion.
I could do that anywhere.
Now I'm starting to understand
Liam's point of view.
How can he trust you?
You do go overboard on everything.
You're mad at Liam,
you marry someone else.
You're mad at me, you ice me out.
You probably gave me this black eye!
Well, if I did, believe me,
it is the one thing
I wish I could remember.
- (OVERLAPPING CHATTER)
- Oh, my God, you are the most...
ungrateful, spiteful...
Shut up!
MICHAEL: Hello?
Ah, thank God.
Mmm, mmm!
Mmm.
Thank you for meeting
and giving me a chance
to apologize for earlier.
I assure you I was merely surprised.
I would have been startled, too.
That is kind of you to understand.
Jeff said you were sweet.
He did?
He is head over heels for you.
And I'm just so happy
he's finally found someone
he's thinking about more seriously.
He can be a difficult man
to pin down, that one.
(CHUCKLES) He was
always kind of a player.
- Mm.
- But you two are platonic, right?
Like, I'm not stepping on anything?
You have nothing to worry about.
(GASPS): Oh!
Oh!
Alexis, ugh, you are so clumsy.
Oh.
A little soda water,
and it'll come right out.
Oh, I think it's...
gonna take more than that, dear.
You know what?
Why don't you take mine?
- No. That's fine. It's-it's okay.
- No, no,
no, I insist.
You can't run around
town with Jeff Colby,
carrying a purse that looks like
it was stolen from an aquarium.
(CHUCKLES)
Consider it a "get to know you" gift.
Thank you.
Thank you, that means a lot.
So, how did you know we were here?
Well, Kirby called.
Because apparently,
you won't contact Liam.
Don't tell me you're still
mad about the Moldavia thing?
He made a life-or-death
decision on my behalf
because of the way he
assumed I would react.
I mean, is that
how our marriage is gonna be?
I'm sure he thought he was
doing what was best for you.
Well, I didn't ask him to...
which is why
it is all going into the prenup.
I am going to force him
to think of me as an equal
and not some unreasonable
child that he has to rein in.
Fallon, I'm sure he doesn't think that.
And if he does,
then that's something
you two need to work out.
(SIGHS) I liked it better
when you hated him.
Still not a big fan.
All right, I've got to head back
- and give the team back their plane.
- Okay.
We're good to go. Thanks for this.
Of course. What's the point
of having your own plane
if you can't use it on
the spur of the moment?
I take it you all can
make it home on your own.
But why don't I have
to bail out Allison?
- She didn't end up coming?
- Allison?
- We forgot about Allison.
- What if she's lost?
Or lying in a ditch somewhere,
and she's trying to
call us over and over,
and her voice is getting weaker,
- and she's reaching for her phone...
- Shh, shh, shh.
- Give me your phone.
- What?
I think she was trying
to call us over and over.
- What?
- The unknown number, that must have been her.
Allison?
(GASPS)
- Okay. Where are you?
- (RELIEVED SIGH)
Okay. Okay, okay, okay.
Fine, we'll be right there.
How did you know it was her?
Well, listening
to your horror story just now
made me think back to
this morning in the room
when the phone kept ringing,
and then I realized
the only person annoying
enough to call every hour
- is Allison.
- So where is she?
- She's in the hospital.
- What? - I'm just praying
she remembers something
about my wedding.
And that she's okay.
- Of course.
- Thank you.
I need a quick and favorable ruling.
Which should be simple,
since your department is handling
- the probe into C.A.
- I know I owe you, Blake,
but you're asking a lot.
This is a high-profile case for us.
All right, think of it this way.
The more powerful I am,
the more influence I'll have
to help you get that Secretary
of Energy spot one day.
That doesn't happen if
you don't fix this for me.
You do make a very good point.
- (SCREAMS)
- BLAKE: What the...?
- (GAS HISSING)
- (COUGHING)
This way.
What the hell was that?
(COUGHING)
(BLAKE AND WALKER COUGH)
Are you okay?
Not really.
You clearly have Moldavian
terrorists after you.
I don't need my life in danger.
It's just a smoke canister.
I think it's pretty clear they're here
and they are angry.
And I haven't even done
anything for you yet.
Who knows how far they'll
go if I actually help?
You can't do this, Olivia.
I need you to end this investigation.
It's too hot right now,
and I'm not gonna do anything
to jeopardize my career or my family.
I'm sorry. We need to wait
until everything cools down.
So, any big plans tomorrow?
Mm... going to work,
yoga, meal prep for the week.
Nothing too insane, huh?
I think I've outgrown
the insane in my life.
Oh, wait. Some days I skip the gym.
That's crazy, right?
- Wild.
- (LAUGHS)
MIA: Mm. Those martinis are strong.
Now I need to go visit the ladies' room.
♪ ♪
Mia, huh? I've been
on a few dates with her, too.
You used the Sugar4Hire app, right?
Sugar4Hire?
We both know who she is.
Mia only dates wealthy guys.
Expensive tastes, but...
worth every penny.
Hey. Have fun, man.
I sure did.
It's all right, Tony, I found it.
Only my daughter would use
a priceless work of art
to house common weeds. Hmm.
_
Yes. Ignore my previous phone call.
Uh, keep investigating Adam Carrington.
Go as deep as necessary.
Report back only to me.
JEFF: You ever hear of Sugar4Hire?
Is it food delivery?
Because this crudité isn't cutting it.
It's a service that
matches younger women
with rich men to date.
I'm not that desperate, Jeff.
I found Mia's profile on there.
Turns out she's a gold digger.
Only after me for my money.
I am so sorry.
You can't tell about some people.
Oh, and you should've seen this
$20,000 bag she was carrying.
And when I mentioned it,
she made up this crazy story
that you gave it to her.
What? (LAUGHS)
I mean, we met for drinks,
but I wouldn't even
give Fallon that bag.
No, she must've gotten it from
one of those sugar daddies.
That harlot. She doesn't deserve you.
- Okay, you can drop the act.
- What act?
Did you really think I
wouldn't figure it out?
I'm a tech billionaire, Alexis.
I did a background check on
Mia before we even went out.
That sugar baby profile never popped up.
So then I hacked into
your credit card account.
That's a violation of my privacy.
Are you gonna call the police?
Huh? Anyway,
I saw you bought that bag this morning.
Why the hell are you trying
to ruin my relationship?
Because...
...I'm your wife.
By arrangement.
There's no reason for us
to stay married anymore.
I like being Mrs. Colby, okay?
It gives me a certain cachet in society
and name recognition for my podcast.
You know what? I've had enough of this.
I'm filing for divorce in the morning.
Thought I'd bring your favorite.
I trust the meeting went well?
Actually, it didn't.
The Moldavian government
sent someone to attack us.
What? A-Are you okay?
Yeah, I'm fine.
It was more of a warning, really.
Nobody was hurt.
My eyes got a little red.
So, your contact,
are they still gonna help, or...?
No, she was, she was shaken.
Really upset.
But your old man was able
to turn things around.
- (LAUGHS)
- You were?
Yeah. Well, the attack
gave me a great idea.
You know,
it's just a short leap from caving
to terrorists to working with them.
So I asked Walker what her
boss would think if she was
in business with the Moldavians.
It'd be so easy to make it look
like she was getting kickbacks
from them to screw over
an upstanding American
citizen such as myself.
This time tomorrow,
C.A. will be back online,
those tankers will be at our refinery,
just in time for the press conference.
That's how we do it.
Drop the pudding. We need to talk.
What do you remember about last night?
And most importantly, do you remember
- who I married?
- You married someone?
Oh, my God. You were supposed
to be the responsible one.
I'm so sorry.
The nurse told me I fell
off a mechanical bull.
Guess none of you noticed,
because a stranger
brought me here with a concussion.
We just left you there?
Yeah, but don't feel bad.
I broke out of my comfort
zone and had a great time.
I assume.
Well, now I do feel bad.
Not because of you, so much,
but because we're leaving tomorrow,
and I have to tell Liam,
my fiancé, that I married
someone else because I got mad.
Which just proves his point.
I am a child. Why should I be trusted?
I do go overboard.
Well, I mean, we all went overboard.
It's not just on you.
Yeah.
Look, guys,
I'm sorry that I yelled at you
when you were just trying to
do what I wanted you to do
and be a good bride tribe.
And good friends.
You know what?
It doesn't matter whose fault it is.
What matters is that we've dodged jail,
ridden bulls.
- Stolen jewelry.
- Wrestled anacondas.
JENNINGS:
So we can definitely figure out
this Scorpio situation, together.
KIRBY: Or...
we just make sure that Liam never,
ever finds out about it.
Girl code, right?
I can help as soon as I change.
Can someone undo this thing?
- No. Not my job.
- Ah, come here.
- Oh.
- What is it? Is it bad?
FALLON: "Scorpio"?
"The Anaconda Club"?
- Why does that sound familiar?
- It's a strip club.
Oh, come on. I married a stripper?
The staff told me you were here.
It's nice Blake occasionally lets you
out of the house for some air.
Now, to what do I owe this headache,
because I am really not in the mood.
I've just discovered that my
daughter is dating your son.
Really?
Well, good taste has never been
one of Adam's strong suits.
I could say the same about Kirby.
But I've been looking into Adam's past,
and I'm a bit worried.
He's left quite a trail
of violence behind him.
Now, I know you two
have always been close,
but has he ever hurt you?
(SCOFFS)
Adam is a mama's boy
through and through.
He would never hurt me.
He actually saved my life when I tripped
into the fireplace and burned my face.
You know, I've always wondered,
how does one trip into a fireplace?
And lie there long enough
for their face to melt off?
Well, you'd think
your reflexes would kick in.
Well, my reflexes were
slowed from too much wine.
I'm fortunate my son
arrived when he did,
and that's all there is
to that story, I'm afraid.
Yeah, well, I'm probably just
being an overprotective father.
I'll show myself out.
♪ Hey, you don't want no... problem ♪
♪ You know, uh-uh... ♪
I told you no strip clubs.
Well, I was under the influence.
But how great is this place?
♪ ♪
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
I don't think so. Okay? Out.
- Out.
- Whoa. What do you mean, out?
- We just got here.
- No, no, no.
You were banned from
the club last night.
What? Why?
She jumped onstage
for a lap dance,
but her face got in the way
of a stripper's elbow.
We had to kick you
all out for rowdiness.
- I'm sorry I accused you of punching me.
- Mm-hmm.
Then you all snuck back in,
and you ran off with Andy.
I would never run off with an Andy.
Okay?
Wait, is Andy an anaconda?
You know what? Just get out of here,
all right? Before I call the cops.
No... Okay, come on.
We don't need to go to jail again.
FALLON: We can't just give up.
We need a New Orleans miracle.
What?
(ALL GASP)
- (CHEERING)
- SAM: Yeah, baby!
- Allison...
- Hey! My walkie!
- KIRBY: Go, Allison!
- FALLON: Let's go.
You need to give that girl a raise.
FALLON: Hurry!
The smoke bomb did scare her,
but somehow Blake
still managed to talk her into it.
It was a good plan,
but your father always manages
to weasel his way out of trouble.
All right, so we figure out another way.
An un-weaselable way.
(SIGHS)
Between this plan failing
and Jeff wanting a divorce...
maybe it's time to move on.
Do you want to talk about it?
I'm not in the mood yet.
Great, neither am I,
but here's the thing.
You're the one who taught
me never to give up.
Blake would've left
me to rot in a dungeon
just to save C.A.;
he would've kept you from your children.
That's why we continue to fight
for whatever we want.
This is the first time you've
ever given me a pep talk.
Look at my boy.
All grown up.
Well, your boy has a new plan.
And all I need is your trust.
And a little money.
- Is that all there is?
- Yes, it's her entire medical file
from the night she fell into the fire.
♪ I feel the motion,
just setting in... ♪
(CHEERING, CLAMORING)
How do we know which is Scorpio?
They all seem equally... oily.
Well, maybe they have
their names written
on their tiny little underwear.
♪ ♪
I think we're gonna need
a closer inspection.
Fine, I'll do it.
ANNOUNCER: And now...
the moment you've been waiting for.
Let's give it up for Scorpio!
(CHEERING)
(WHOOPING)
♪ ♪
Oh, my God, my God, that's him...
he's wearing my ring!
Well, we don't have much time.
Security could come back
any second... Go, go talk to him.
Excuse me, excuse me,
excuse me, excuse me...
Scorpio?
Scorpio... Please wave your dollars
at some another banana hammock,
okay, that's my husband!
Scorpio! Scorpio, over here!
Get up there, Fallon!
♪ Almost rang the phone
off the wall... ♪
- Pop that booty!
- I can't watch.
♪ This evening ♪
♪ I need some hot stuff,
baby, tonight... ♪
Hey. Yeah.
Scorpio?
Scorpio?
Is this Scorpio?
Okay. Listen, sir,
I think you have my ring.
Scorpio?
(WHOOPS)
I'll just come back later.
He seems busy.
- Oh!
- (WHOOPS)
- Oh!
- ♪ Hot stuff... ♪
Your mother would be very proud.
Hi. Um, if I could just talk
to you for one second...
Really? Okay.
(CHEERING)
(WHOOPING)
If I could just...
♪ Hot stuff... ♪
(WHOOPING)
Yes. We like that.
Very good. You done?
(CHEERING)
ANNOUNCER: All right,
let's hear it again for Scorpio!
Wow, this is officially the
best bachelorette party ever.
Never speak of this again.
Hi. Finally.
- Fallon Carrington.
- Yeah, I know.
I was wondering when you
guys were coming back.
Oh. You mean,
when we were gonna come back,
or when you could score
some more free bling?
Apparently, I'm your wife.
My wife?
No, uh, I didn't marry you.
I married him.
♪ Something in the air tonight... ♪
What?
What now?
I'm not ready to give
up on our marriage.
Even if that means having
to tell you the truth
about my feelings and
letting you see the real me.
Well,
this is kind of the third real you,
but I get it.
I didn't like seeing you with that girl.
I think there's something between us,
and you know it, too.
You were the first person to
visit me after my accident.
You tried to protect me from Adam,
and you came to see me
when you thought you were dying.
If all of that means nothing,
I'll give you your divorce.
Maybe there is a seed
of something between us.
But if we went there, it-it'd get messy.
You are a lot, Alexis.
Look at the stunt you pulled with Mia.
That's not what I need right now.
What you don't need
is simple, uncomplicated Mia.
She will make you dull.
And one day,
she will do something even worse.
She will bore you.
Sometimes, a man just wants to take
the easy, well-paved road.
Not Jeff Colby.
Yeah, I pulled that stunt.
I keep you on your toes.
And if you have a new lease on life,
why not choose the
more interesting life?
So, the first time we came in...
Everyone was pretty wasted.
Especially you.
I heard.
But I'm-I'm not like that, really.
Well, normally. I-I have a lot going on.
Anyway, uh, in all the chaos,
you left your phones
and wallets here, so...
- FALLON: Oh, thank you.
- Yeah, of course.
So, um, when exactly did I propose?
I mean, I assume that I was
the one who proposed, right?
Yeah, you did. Uh, apparently,
you went to the bar and were moved
by some story that Fallon
was telling everyone
about marrying a total
stranger and falling in love.
- Oh, yes! Yes!
- Yeah?
Me and Liam. Aw.
What a sweet story.
You see? Sometimes,
going overboard pays off.
- So, what else did he say I said?
- Not your turn.
So, then we must have gone to that store
to buy wedding clothes, right?
Or steal them.
Well, you came back all decked out
and got down on a knee
with Fallon's ring.
Wow. I cannot believe I
let you borrow my ring
to propose to a stripper.
Well, you asked for mine as collateral.
Well, at least my business sense
still remained intact
when I was blackout drunk.
Uh, so, that would explain
this gumball machine ring
- I'm wearing.
- SCORPIO: Yeah.
We got married at an all-night chapel.
Wow. Blackout me is leaving
sober me speechless.
- (SIGHS)
- Well, as useful as you have been,
Scorpio, I would, uh,
- like my ring back.
- Oh, yeah.
- There you go.
- (CHUCKLES): Oh, man. I got to tell you,
I am really happy we're not married,
'cause that would have been bad. Yeah.
- Bye. Thanks so much.
- SCORPIO: Bye.
- Thank you.
- KIRBY: It was really nice to meet you.
- SCORPIO: Yeah. Bye.
- Bye.
So, we can get an easy annulment,
- right?
- Yeah.
- Of course. But, hey, can I...
- (EXHALES)
Can I call you if I'm in Atlanta?
Last night was, uh, actually pretty fun.
You know,
maybe we could start with a-a date.
(CHUCKLES) Um, look,
you seem really cool,
but, um, I'm actually
trying to keep it cas.
You know,
not really looking to settle down.
Right.
Well,
just in case you change your mind,
there it is.
- Ryan?
- Mm-hmm.
Thank God your name's not Scorpio.
(CHUCKLES)
I can't tell you how
proud and thrilled I am
to have the company back in the family
and to be CEO once again,
this time with my son as my number two.
Now, you all know
that Carrington Atlantic
is already a hugely profitable company,
- but I plan to...
- (PHONES CHIMING)
- WOMAN: Are you seeing this?
- MAN: Mr. Carrington?
NEWSWOMAN: Mr. Carrington?
Mr. Carrington, what can you tell us
about the refinery explosion?
How will the loss of $500 million in oil
- affect C.A.?
- That...
(REPORTERS CLAMORING)
What the hell is that?
- Is that one of ours?
- It was.
Apparently,
the Moldavian oil was tainted.
Caused an explosion at the refinery.
There's no casualties,
but it's gonna be a nightmare
financially and PR-wise.
They're gonna be out for blood.
Yeah, I know that.
NEWSWOMAN: Mr. Carrington?
The press conference is over.
No questions.
- Mr. Carrington. Mr. Carrington!
- Mr. Carrington. Mr. Carrington!
- Mr. Carrington!
- Mr. Carrington, wait!
You were right.
The prenup was a bad idea.
You know, and even though
I didn't marry Magic Mike,
I am capable of going a little crazy.
So you're saying Liam was right?
No, no, no. I'm not saying he was right.
I'm saying I understand
why he made that decision.
And Culhane may have talked
- a little sense into me.
- Oh.
I guess I can't have all the
control in a partnership.
You giving up control?
- Ha!
- SAM: Guys?
I just found some pictures
of our first trip to the strip club.
What?
- I want to see.
- And yes, I broke
your "no pictures" rule,
but what did you expect?
Some of these were sent
- by Ryan.
- KIRBY: Your wedding!
Ooh.
- KIRBY: Ooh!
- SAM: Yes, bitch.
- Work.
- (CHUCKLES)
KIRBY: Ow!
- Oh.
- SAM: All right, Allison.
- KIRBY: Aw.
- FALLON: No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
- That's disgusting.
- KIRBY: Send it to me.
JENNINGS: Ooh.
Oh, honey.
I meant what I said in jail.
I hope we can stay friends,
no matter what happens
with me and your dad.
Don't worry.
You'll always be my
second evil stepmother.
- (ALL CHUCKLE)
- Cute.
(SIGHS)
Oh, again with the lurking.
I know you're dating Adam.
You need to stay away from him.
What happened to trusting
me with my own love life?
I would if I didn't care about you.
What are you even on about?
Adam's dangerous.
He has a history of hurting people.
I-In fact,
Alexis didn't fall into the fireplace.
He shoved her into it.
He burned her. He's deranged.
And you believe that lying bitch?
She claimed
that I burned the manor
down so you'd send me away.
Yeah, again, I'm sorry about that.
But I verified this with
the hospital records.
Alexis claimed she was drunk.
That's why she tripped.
But her tox report came back clean.
She had bruising on
her back and her neck,
like someone had been holding her down.
Hello? You're the one
that sounds deranged.
It's obvious you don't
like that I'm dating Adam,
and you're using lies to break us up.
If you'll just listen to me...
Oh, I'm done listening.
(ALEXIS MOANS)
So, I assume our deal is back on
and we're gonna stay married
the rest of the year?
Can we just take it day by day?
Mmm. I can do that.
But I think you're gonna
want to extend our contract
after you see this.
Adam bribed the ship's captain
to poison the oil tanker
with a toxic solution,
and once it reached the refinery...
(IMITATES EXPLOSION)
Blake lost half a billion dollars,
and this is just the beginning.
I admire your resilience, Alexis.
And I'll support you if that's
what you want to focus on.
But I meant what I said.
Life is too short to waste
it avenging the past.
Right now, I just want to enjoy myself.
I can help with that, too.
Hey, Cristal. Um...
Yeah, I know I haven't called you.
Uh, but I just wanted
to give you some space.
And, um...
It's been a really bad day.
Yeah, I've only been CEO a week,
and the company's already
on the brink financially.
It's really hard to trust anyone
when you're a Carrington.
And it's even harder to let
yourself love sometimes.
But you pushed past all my defenses.
You're the only one
that I want to talk to
and be with when the going gets tough.
So...
Would you please come back?
- What's wrong?
- (EXHALES)
My dad doesn't like me seeing you.
Really? Um...
He told me you were dangerous,
and he went on and on
with this insane story
about how you shoved
Alexis into a fireplace?
What?
Did my mother tell him that?
No clue.
All I know is it's ridiculous.
- I don't know why I brought it up.
- I-It is.
It's completely ridiculous. Don't...
Don't even think about it.
Whatever. It's been a crazy 48 hours
since I last saw you,
and I did promise you
- some steamy new moves.
- Mm-hmm.
Cream or sugar?
I'm good. Thank you.
So, what are you going
to be doing up north?
Some fly-fishing?
- More like hunting.
- Hmm.