Dynasty (2017–…): Season 2, Episode 12 - Filthy Games - full transcript
Fallon tries to prove she's still got game; Alexis schemes to drive a wedge between Blake and Cristal.
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Previously on Dynasty:
There may be a job
for you with the team.
Takes a fool to say no
to Blake Carrington.
Takes an even bigger fool to say yes,
but here I am.
I assure you Fallon has zero
involvement with this team.
- Does this mean you're coming home?
- Soon, yeah.
I've gotta run for now. I love you, Sam.
I'm not sure the baby is Blake's.
I went home and made a huge mistake
by sleeping with my ex-husband.
- You need to tell him the truth.
- We did that.
Oh, my God. Liam?
You are my one.
There was a time when I thought
I couldn't live without you.
Now I can't stand the sight of you.
Wait a minute. Haven't
I seen you before? I know your face.
- Get out. Or shall I call my servant?
- Get out. Or shall I call my servant?
You're Norma Desmond.
You used to be in silent pictures.
You used to be big.
- I am big.
- I am big.
- It's the pictures that got small.
- It's the pictures that got small.
- What are you doing here?
- Checking up on you.
You haven't answered my texts in a week.
Well, I'm boycotting my phone.
And people.
Specifically boys.
Boycotting boys?
How second-grade of you.
When was the last time
you left your room?
Or ate something other than candy?
- Do gin-soaked olives count?
- Liam really did a number on you.
He said that I was no longer
the girl he knew and loved,
the sophisticated, savvy businesswoman
who wanted to start her own dynasty.
Did he really say "sophisticated"?
You know what? It doesn't even matter.
We need to get you out of here.
How about this? I'm hosting a
party tomorrow night at the club.
It's game night but high-end.
Aggressive competition
always cheers you up.
Not this time.
I just wanna be left alone.
Hit it.
So, I think Cassius Cardinal
is the best mascot option.
He's small, but he's fierce.
We're supposed to be presenting
a mission statement to our board.
Our mission is to entertain
the crap out of our fans.
I'm talking performers
and fighter jets. Hey.
Find me some trained cardinals
to fly around during games.
- Okay, that's enough. Go.
- We need to find more substantial messaging.
Our star is homegrown.
We focus on creating a
strong local community.
I'm thinking of a
"Together we will rise" philosophy,
one that speaks to the
all-inclusiveness of our team and fans.
Yeah, it's heartfelt.
- Exactly.
- It's heartfelt mumbo jumbo.
That's not why people watch sports.
I know what's best for my team.
Our team. Then why
don't we just present both?
- Put it up for a board vote.
- Fine with me.
- It's a waste of everyone's time.
- We'll see.
I said make it dirty, not disgusting.
Just start over.
I just got a text from Steven
saying he's extending his
South American walkabout.
Did he mention...?
That you forgot how to knock?
No, I have not spoken to Steven.
Don't take this personally, Sam, but
I really don't wanna see anyone today.
Including you.
So, maybe take it a little personally.
I guess Steven doesn't
wanna see me either,
since he keeps not coming back.
Why do you think that is?
I mean, is it me? I should've
never let him go to Paraguay.
Or you should've gone with him.
I don't know.
But we all know you're not cut out to be
the husband to a charitable missionary.
You don't know what I'm cut out to be.
You couldn't even last
one night in Paraguay.
I don't know why Steven would
think you'd wanna move there.
Besides, I'm sorry to say this,
but you're just too materialistic.
Me? Are you kidding? Look at all this.
Too materialistic for Steven.
Thank you. Much better.
So not sorry to interrupt,
but the post-emo shoegaze feel-hard
band that you requested is here.
- Through there.
- Are we done?
Because I would like to enjoy
all of my feelings in peace
and accompanied by an appropriately
melancholic soundtrack.
I'm too materialistic.
I've been doing some deep thinking
and self-introspection and...
Sounds painful.
It was.
But I realized I have to reinvent myself
to be the kind of man that Steven needs.
I've been doing a lot
of reinvention research.
Pretty much all the experts say
that I have to dematerialize.
Cleanse myself of worldly possessions.
I'm supposed to throw everything out.
Except the things that
truly bring me joy.
I downloaded an app to get us started.
- Not sure what this has to do with Steven.
- Everything.
If I get more aligned with Steven's
thinking and his new way of life,
then... well, he'll fall in love with me
all over again when he gets back.
Very sweet. I'm in. On two conditions.
One: Can I please be your date
for Monica's game night tomorrow?
I hate going to those things alone.
You mean you hate not being on the
invite list and need my plus-one?
- What are besties for?
- Thanks.
And two: I get first dibs
on your so-called trash.
Mi trash es tu trash.
♪ For the first time For the last time ♪
Play it again but sadder.
What do I have to do to get
a little peace in this house?
I don't know. You tell me. It's been
the same song for the last hour.
You are now a human
"do not disturb" sign.
Go. Guard the door.
Is there anything I can do?
Would touching my hair
make you feel any better?
I put in extra conditioner today.
Sadly, I don't even think that would
help. But thank you for offering.
Your stepmotherly duties
are complete. You may go.
I was hoping you haven't told
anyone about my little secret.
What I told you in Sun Valley.
You still haven't told my father
that he may not be the baby daddy?
Not cool, Cristal.
I'm working on it.
It's a hard thing to
just say to someone.
No, it's not. Look.
Blake, I may be having
another man's baby.
- See? It's not that hard.
- What if the baby turns out to be Blake's?
Then I will make him upset
for no reason by telling him.
Which is why...
I got this.
What is that? A time machine
for undoing bad decisions?
No. It's a paternity test.
If it's Mark's child,
I'll confess everything.
But if the baby is Blake's,
then we can keep my moment
of doubt between us ladies.
- Fine.
- Now...
- I'm gonna need a sample.
- Excuse me?
Your DNA is close enough to Blake's
to determine a match with the baby.
- If I do this, you'll leave?
- Mm.
Don't stop playing because of this.
Sadder.
How much have we thrown out?
- Well, that's impressive.
- That's the save pile.
That's the lose pile.
Well, clearly I can't dematerialize.
I'm too close to it.
This is exactly why dentists
don't pull out their own teeth.
So, let's focus.
You and I, we've got this.
- Be merciless.
- No, I can't.
These things are like my own children.
And I'm in no place to
make a Sophie's choice
between animal prints.
I think we're gonna
need professional help.
Seriously?
Give us five, fellas.
You'll recall agreeing to do
a "day in the life" article
for Contemporary Metropolitan Post?
Yeah. I was gonna inspire millions
of little girls everywhere.
I scheduled it a few weeks
after Culhane proposed.
- Back when life had meaning.
- Well, apparently you forgot to cancel.
- The reporter is downstairs.
- Well, that won't do.
- Can't you see I'm taking a little break?
- From reality?
Send him away.
Tell him I have tuberculosis
or some other contagious disease.
I'll make your excuses.
Wait.
- Is the reporter still Kenneth Desai?
- Yes.
Well, he can be a little snarky,
so, make sure he's buying
whatever excuse you're selling
and tell him we'll reschedule
the interview for a later date.
- Otherwise, he'll tweet something mean.
- Understood.
Anyone seeing the state
of your life at the moment
might think it was repulsive.
Not me, of course.
But people you care about.
Mr. Desai, I regret to inform you
that Ms. Carrington is
going to have to reschedule.
- She's not feeling well.
- I hope it's not serious.
I wish she could've told me
before I spent four hours
traveling here from New York.
Yes. She's very sorry.
No, I completely understand.
Health, physical...
or mental, comes first, of course.
You're not tweeting about it, are you?
Hashtag "we'll sue for slander."
What's going on, Anders?
I'm just explaining
to Mr. Desai here that Fallon is...
Here.
Sorry to keep you waiting.
All right, Mr. Desai,
I'm ready for my close-up.
This profile could not
come at a better time.
Now the whole world gets to
see the real Fallon Carrington
and how great I'm doing.
Love the enthusiasm.
So, the basic idea is for me to see
what a typical day looks like
in the life of a young top-of-her-game
billionaire like yourself.
Now, will this be for print,
online, or both?
I just wanna make sure as many
people see this article as possible.
The stronger the material,
the more readers there will be.
So, let's see what you got.
You know, apart
from a proclivity for tardiness
and mysteriously vanishing illnesses.
Sorry about that.
I didn't realize the date, and...
You mean Anders gave you the wrong one.
He's had a lot on his plate. Perhaps
something was lost in translation.
Isn't he from New Zealand?
His accent is thick.
If this is a bad time, we could
always check back in a few months
and see if there's space
and interest in your profile.
- I just wanna do what's best for you.
- No, no, no.
The timing and my personal life
could not be more perfect right now.
Fallon.
I dropped by to check in on you.
I assumed you'd still be in your room.
It's nice to see you
finally made it out.
Mother, this is Kenneth Desai
with Contemporary Metro.
He's writing an article about
how wonderful I'm doing.
Oh, well, I would love to contribute.
My life is going marvelously, as well.
I mean, I am very busy,
but I'm sure I could eke
out four or five hours
if that's what you need.
What a shame. I was about to take
Kenneth on a tour of the house.
Come on, get your bag.
You know, it's funny.
Jennings. It's an odd surname
for a woman of your background.
Where is it that you said you're from?
- Oh, and are there other Jennings?
- Why?
Are you writing an article, as well?
Because I doubt everyone is actually
reading Ex-Wife Weekly.
I know that you don't think
that it's any of my business,
but it is Blake's.
- Blake knows everything he needs to know.
- You mean only what you've told him.
And this whole
"international woman of mystery" thing,
it isn't fooling anyone.
The only fool here is you, Alexis.
I have no secrets. Nothing to hide.
We'll see.
You know what they say.
Where there's smoke, there's a liar.
This is it. Ground zero.
Who's this?
This is the Insta guru I found
to solve all my problems.
Lady Monk.
Though I prefer
"mindfulness specialist" to "guru."
Kirby Anders, friend specialist.
I was helping him declutter
before you arrived,
and I thought we were
doing just fine on our own.
Actually, we were flailing,
and that's exactly why you're here.
Your teachings really stood out
from the sea of Insta
self-improvement coaches.
That and your perfectly curated feed.
Before we get started,
I let all my clients
pick one item to save.
Here.
This is the shirt I was wearing
the last time I saw Steven.
The last time we kissed.
I know it's just a shirt,
but it really...
What are you doing?
Whoa! Not cool.
No, no, no.
The shirt is not Steven, Sam.
Objects are not the
people they represent.
Wow, I... never thought
about it that way.
I gotta say, I...
I'm already feeling a little clearer.
And why would I spy
on Mr. Carrington's fiancée for you?
Because she won't tell me anything.
And that's what friends
like us do for one another.
Fine. If you won't do it,
I'll just have to show Blake
how utterly firable you are.
Since when is driving a car
and having a girlfriend a crime?
Well, when you're joyriding
in Blake's Rolls-Royce
and Joy, the housemaid, is riding you.
I would imagine that
she'll be fired, as well,
when... Blake sees these.
And that would be such a shame.
- What do you want me to do?
- Well, you're a gardener, Tony.
I want you to do some digging.
Which leads us to my third-favorite
painting in the house.
I've seen the grounds, the cellar,
your butler's duck-decoy collection,
but I have yet to see the real
top-of-her-game Fallon
that you promised.
So, why do I get the feeling
you're hiding something?
I'm not. I mean...
feel free to ask me anything.
Well, since this article was also
supposed to be about a day in the life
of a new bride, I have to ask,
how have you handled the breakup?
Wonderfully.
I mean, as well as could be expected.
Yes, the relationship did not work out,
but it ended amicably.
- And it's as simple and boring as that.
- Good for you.
I couldn't write for two
months after my last breakup.
Just buried myself in tissues and vodka.
I can see how that
would be hard for you.
So, you don't mind if I call
Michael Culhane, do you?
- Especially since things are so amicable.
- Of course not.
But you don't even have to call him,
because he and I actually
have dinner plans tonight,
and you're welcome to join.
- Well, that's perfect.
- Isn't it just?
Okay. Well, I...
If you'll excuse me a moment,
I need to go ahead to my solo
afternoon meditation.
Just like Oprah.
Oh, write that down.
_
Joy. Could you mail
this for me right away?
Please don't mention it to anyone.
- Of course.
- Thank you.
Hey, Joy, I'm headed to the post office.
You want me to take that for you?
Actually, that would be super helpful.
Here.
_
Well, this will work.
Seems like our little angel
has been spreading her wings
in more than one bed, hasn't she?
My name is Sammy Jo Carrington,
and I am ready to free myself
from the energy of material things
in order to create a
better version of me.
- Hi, Steven.
- And to Instagram it goes.
You are doing so wonderfully, Sam.
Now all you have to do
to be who you want to be
is to let yourself feel free.
Now it's detox time.
Bye.
Yes. I did it.
This and this and this.
Yes.
Oh, no. This is staying. It's Gucci.
We're not just making
space for the new Sam.
We're also providing for
others who are in need.
Can't argue with that.
This is insane.
You barely know this Insta crank,
and you're gonna throw everything away?
Kirby, I know you're distrustful,
but negative thoughts
lead to negative results.
And look at all the
progress that Sam is making.
Isn't that what's really important?
You weren't kidding.
I think this merits a
selfie with my sensei.
Kirby.
- Are you trying to steal that?
- No, I was saving it.
For when you eventually remember
that you can't live without Gucci.
Negative thoughts, negative results.
Kirby, maybe you need to replenish,
come back later.
Try a banana.
Potassium is a real lifesaver.
All we have to do is switch out
the original paternity sample
with a non-Carrington sample
so the tests come back as not a match.
And then we make sure
that Blake sees the results
confirming that the baby's not his,
and bye-bye, Cristal.
Non-Carrington DNA coming right up.
Yeah.
Good dog. Good dog.
Dinner. Dinner was the emergency?
I'm picking up on a hostile vibe.
If we could take it down a notch.
- You 911'ed me.
- Because it is an emergency.
The writer does not have a story, so,
he zeroed in on our relationship.
He's gonna keep looking for stuff
unless we throw him off.
We have plenty of skeletons
that need to stay buried,
so, I needed to warn you.
It was not just a 911 for me.
It was a 911 for us.
Fallon, there is no us.
Not anymore.
I'm no longer at your beck and call.
I can't drop everything to save,
what, your vanity?
My vanity. That's very funny.
Because wasn't it your vanity
that made you wanna go
work for that evil woman
so you could feel all big and all macho?
As a matter of fact, you owe me
for destroying our relationship
after I saved your ass.
Owe you?
Everything I did was to protect you.
To close the Van Kirk deal.
To save you from Ada.
All you've ever done was treat
me like a little plaything
in your never-ending psycho drama.
- You put yourself in that position.
- Well, not anymore.
I don't know what happened to you,
but you're not the Fallon
Carrington that I used to love.
So, I was wrong. There's definitely
a story here worth telling.
Less "Fallon Carrington,
billions and brains,"
more "Fallon Carrington,
billion-dollar mess."
We need to think of the game as
more a show than a sporting event.
- People wanna be entertained.
- Isn't that what the match is for?
You're not thinking big enough.
Every team plays a game.
But how many of them, I don't know,
introduce their lineup
by having them skydive into the stadium?
- Probably none. That's a huge liability.
- Bells and whistles are great,
but we want our mission statement
to be something deeper, more meaningful.
Exactly. And MLS LAFC's motto is
"Shoulder to shoulder."
What's this team stand for?
Great point. Which is why I'm
suggesting that our team's motto be
"Together we will rise."
It's inclusive of the team and the fans
but also the community as a whole.
We can build a great ad campaign,
even get local schools involved.
That sounds great.
You should've led with that.
We can discuss it more
at our next meeting.
Wait. You're leaving?
I thought we were having dinner.
I'm sorry Michael couldn't make it.
He had a family emergency.
Yes. It definitely sounded
like some kind of emergency.
What do you mean, sounded like?
I'm not sure what you thought you heard.
No, I didn't hear anything, but...
This is gonna be a beautiful piece.
I think that you're gonna
be really surprised.
In a good way.
- So, that's it? We're done?
- Let's just say I have everything I need.
Wait. Wait. Um...
I was holding back.
And I'm sorry for burying the lede.
But I told you I was working
on something big, business-wise,
so, at least
give me a chance to show you.
You know, it's a little late,
and I'm not hungry.
I already gorged myself
on this tiny charcuterie plate.
Well, the launch party for my new
company is tomorrow night.
How many chances do you get
to profile Jobs and
Wozniak before their Apple?
It's one night. A party at Club Colby.
And I promise,
this is the groundbreaking,
aspirational angle
worthy of your skills as a journalist.
Okay.
I could stay another day.
But only 'cause I love a good party.
Monica, you were right.
I will definitely be
coming to game night.
But I've got a different game to play.
Hey, guys, it's me.
I'm just here eating
sustainably with food I foraged.
This is watercress and burdock.
Came right out of the ground.
You just steam it, salt and pepper it.
Voilà .
That must taste like dirt.
Lady Monk gave me a new outlook.
Food is just fuel.
It doesn't need to be anything more.
I get it.
But I think actual fuel
might taste better than that.
Same with clothes.
I don't need anything more
than this organic fair-trade
zero-carbon-footprint tunic.
Maybe you should wear it tonight.
I'll try and coordinate.
I forgot to tell you.
I can't go with you to game night.
- I'm taking Lady Monk as my plus-one.
- Wait. What? Why?
I wanna introduce her to new clients.
She's made such a difference in my life.
Besides, think of how
impressed Steven will be
when he hears how much
I've committed to this lifestyle.
I'm starting to worry
about her influence on you.
You don't need to.
This is no weirder than a juice cleanse
or Gwyneth steaming her vagina.
First of all, huge Gwyneth fan.
Second of all, I am not one
to slam wackadoodle beliefs,
but this woman seems super dodgy.
What do you really know about her?
I know that I am happier
than I've been in weeks.
Actually, Lady Monk warned me
that this might happen,
that you may try to stop me
from being my best self.
She warned you about me?
- Mm-hm.
- Brilliant.
I am just trying to prevent that
culture-appropriating fake healer
from taking advantage of you.
She said you're angry because
you're not the center of attention.
And I think she's right.
That's just sad.
So, namaste.
You did what?
I said to replace the sample with
non-Carrington DNA, not dog DNA.
I thought you would appreciate
that I went above and beyond.
There is no way the daddy DNA
is gonna match the baby's.
Because it won't match any human DNA.
Okay, now the lab
is gonna ask for more samples
so that they can rerun the tests.
There's gotta be a way to save this.
I need you to keep trailing Cristal
and see if you can't find out
who that baby daddy could be.
Aside from Blake.
Okay, run along. Get going.
Wait, what happened
to the giant battleships?
I didn't realize by "cohosting,"
you meant taking over my game night.
Well... I'm not taking it over.
I'm just making it larger-than-life.
Though I couldn't get jumbo Candy Land.
I was gonna have people
dress up as the characters.
I always had a thing
for Princess Frostine.
She is cute.
Wait. So, all of this is for a reporter?
No. Well, technically, yes.
I just need him to write an article
that Liam can read to see
how great I'm doing.
Look, you are the one who said
you're boycotting boys.
I need to make Liam see
that he has no effect on me
and he is missing out on
the best Fallon Carrington.
One other thing to know:
Tonight is also the launch
party for my new business.
- You don't have a new business.
- Not yet. But the night is young.
All I have to do is find
someone here with a great idea,
convince them to pretend
I've always been their partner,
and let Kenneth do the rest.
Sounds like a foolproof plan to me.
I don't need your sarcasm, Monica.
I need your help.
Please. And a miracle.
Speaking of miracles,
the CEO of Spartan Force is coming.
This is shaping up to be the
best fake launch party yet.
Thank you for letting me do this.
As if I had a choice.
Tell me you're not trying to
pilfer another credit card.
I'm not pilfering anything,
whatever that means.
- I'm trying to get Sam's stuff back.
- The things he willingly donated?
To an Insta guru who says
they're going to charity,
but I highly doubt that.
Why do you doubt her? Sam seems happy.
I cross-referenced Lady Monk's
feed with some other feeds.
There's just too many things
that don't add up.
- All right. Well, how can I be of help?
- I already handled it.
His tablet he gave away is still on,
and I pinged it.
It's... wherever that is.
I can wait to get used
at the next meeting.
- I didn't use you. I used your idea.
- Without mentioning where you got it.
Hold on. Is that what this is about?
Credit and ego? I didn't realize
it was that important to you.
I guess I should've seen it coming,
given the games you played to get here.
I've learned those filthy
games from a master: you.
I've also learned how to match you,
Blake, so, watch out.
As far as ego,
it's hard to tell whose is bigger:
yours or your daughter's.
- Don't make this personal, Michael.
- It already is.
I've dealt with the two
of you using me for years.
My days as a Carrington pawn are over.
So, what?
- You're done with the team?
- No.
But I am done with Fallon.
And I'm done with you treating
me like I'm still your driver.
You're blowing this out of proportion.
It's just business.
Exactly.
And this is my opportunity
to make something of myself.
And I'm not letting you get in the way.
So, if you want my expertise,
you're gonna need to accept
that we're partners.
- That's right.
- I know.
Easy.
Hey, welcome to the launch
of Fallon Unlimited.
Yeah, you really went all out here.
So, what was the thinking
behind game night?
Is this related to your new company,
in some way?
Well, once I reveal my concept to you
and introduce you to my business partner,
I think it'll all come together.
Let's get you a drink. Or several.
Thank you so much for inviting me, Sam.
This gives me a chance to
fund-raise for my charity,
Lady Monk's Mindful Giving,
and to spread my ideas
to the uninitiated.
I think the tunics might be a
little too biblical for this crowd.
Let's focus on finding people who
are like-minded and open-minded.
Like her. Isn't that your sister-in-law?
Yeah, but that is not
a mind you wanna open.
Trust me.
Why don't we try something
new and split up?
Double our reach, double our teach.
All right.
Well, I won't let you down.
Carrington residence.
No, I'm not interested
in a new cable company.
Carrington residence.
Oh, I believe we're already
given quite generously.
Carrington residence.
This is Pacific North
Bio Lab in Seattle.
I'm calling for Cristal Jennings.
Please hold.
Well, hello there. This is Cristal.
Yes. Mrs. Jennings,
we wanted to let you know
that you need to resubmit
your paternity test.
Unfortunately,
the sample was contaminated.
Oh! How awful.
Well, I'm feeling a little
nauseous at the moment.
You know, it's my first trimester.
Well, would y'all mind if I just
transferred you to my husband?
Well, my fiancé.
He's almost my husband.
All right. One moment, please.
The new maid accidentally
handed me the phone,
but it's for Cristal.
Something about tests for the baby?
This is Blake.
What do you mean, another sample?
For what?
A paternity test? I'm the father.
Why would she...?
Son of a bitch.
It's sort of a hybrid tech-analog idea.
My favorite kind.
Are you looking for funding?
It does involve a version of
S and M using 4-D technology.
Because I don't have any funding.
- Is he your partner?
- Him? No.
I've been here for over an hour,
and you still haven't told me
the groundbreaking idea
that's gonna relaunch Fallon
Carrington to the world.
- Unless there isn't one.
- Oh, there is one.
Why else would I go
through all this trouble?
Oh, let me introduce you to Monica.
She is the club owner. We've been
friends since we were kids.
Monica Colby, this is Kenneth Desai,
the reporter I was telling you about.
You throw a great party.
Really, it's all Fallon.
This is her launch.
Wait till you hear about her company.
It's gonna blow your mind.
- It's really a...
- Go back to work now, Monica. Okay.
You know, Monica and I started
a record label together.
- Who are your artists?
- Uh...
- Fallon.
- Can I help you?
Can you help me?
A little in-joke between us girls.
Lady Monk, mindfulness specialist
with a million Insta followers.
Fallon and I are collabing. Partners.
- And you are?
- Kenneth Desai, Contemporary Metro.
Excuse me, but Kenneth is
interviewing me, Lady Granola.
- Come on.
- Hold on.
I'm glad to finally
meet Fallon's partner.
I've been dying to hear all about
this brilliant new company idea.
So, you threw everything away and now
you're, what, hunting and gathering?
No more gathering.
Just hunting for inner peace.
This has been a real trip,
but I just contributed to
Steven's foundation at the gala.
My checkbook is all worn out.
Sorry.
Namaste.
Are you gonna join me in bed,
or just stare like a stalker?
You just looked so serene.
Just so serene.
For someone who doesn't know
whose baby they're carrying.
- How did you...?
- The lab called.
- About your paternity test.
- My God.
The results were contaminated.
They needed another sample.
- Blake.
- Were you gonna tell me?
Or were you gonna let me carry
another man's baby like Alexis?
I was going to tell you
if the baby wasn't yours.
But I think...
I feel in my heart it is yours.
It happened before I thought
you and I could ever be together.
I went back to Arizona. I saw my ex...
- Who the hell was that, huh, Cristal?
- My ex-husband.
Mark Jennings.
We got married very young.
My parents partially owned
a soccer team. He was a player.
But they had a falling-out when he
refused to throw a game for them.
They destroyed his career.
They would stop at nothing to ruin him.
It became too dangerous to be together.
We had to end it.
You had to?
So, you still have feelings for him?
No. It was a long time ago.
- Clearly not that long ago.
- Blake, last time was a mistake.
I came back here and I
completely fell for you.
You have to believe me. I love you.
Please say something.
Anything.
This is fascinating. You were
mentioning something about a book?
You caught me. Lady Monk's brand is
the company I've been hinting about.
And, yes, the book is gonna be huge.
We have a multi-platform
attack scheduled
so that we can take it international,
as well.
We've been working on it for,
what, months?
We want to feature my
philosophy and methods
so that people can practice
a mindful detachment at home.
I'm also working on an app.
"Fallon Carrington:
from heiress to lifestyle savant."
It's really surprising and interesting.
Not exactly the next logical step.
"Logic can take you from A to B.
But the imagination can take
you everywhere." Einstein.
I'm curious about your initial
investment in the project.
- We haven't really...
- Several million. With a back end.
We are still working out the details,
but, you know,
details are just the...
grains of sand on the beach of life.
This is definitely an
unexpected turn for the article.
I wanna run this new angle by my editor.
- Give me a minute?
- Yeah.
I don't know who you are, but thank
you very much for playing along.
- We need to talk about this more.
- There you are.
I didn't have any luck trying to find
new clients or fund-raising. Sorry.
But I have an idea.
I can give you money from the
Steven Carrington Foundation
so you can keep helping people.
I'm sorry.
Sam, we are discussing business,
so, please take
your toga party elsewhere.
This is my guru. You can find your own.
- First of all, mindfulness specialist.
- Yeah.
And secondly, I can accept both
of your investments and donations.
One Carrington's not enough?
Trying to bag yourself a second?
Kirby, you are making no sense.
This is no time for your crazy.
Right. I'm sorry.
- Lady Monk here is a con artist.
- You're kidding.
- What?
- Jealousy is so ugly
- on such a beautiful face.
- I tracked your stuff to a warehouse.
It's all boxed up and ready to be
shipped to a consignment store.
This is what she does.
She rips people off and
has someone sell it online.
It's all here.
The proceeds from all of those
sales are going to charities.
UNICEF, the Red Cross, all of them.
Right. I'm sure once my father
finishes tracking your money trail,
we'll find that those proceeds go
directly into your burlap pocket.
Oh, my God.
You convinced me to wear
this ugly-ass outfit
and to eat grass.
- I was about to give you millions.
- No, Sam. Steven would be so proud of...
- Don't you dare bring him up.
- This is how she gets people.
When they're at their most vulnerable,
which is clearly you two.
I mean, you miss your husband.
And you have barely left your room
ever since Liam rejected you
like a sad, moldy loaf of bread.
Well, that was a little harsh. But true.
Look, I just met this
crackpot five minutes ago.
I was so insecure that it was
easier to let you convince me
that I was the problem, but I'm not.
I mean, sure,
I should be less materialistic,
but I'm amazing,
even if I'm work in progress,
and Steven will realize that or not.
You even made me question
my fashion sense.
Security. Please get this pathetic
Insta grifter out of here.
You're calling me pathetic? Look around.
You faked an entire party
to impress one reporter?
Takes a fraud to know a fraud.
You're the biggest one of them all,
Fallon Carrington.
You're done.
Like I said, I do love a good party.
And I think I have everything I need.
Keep an eye out for the article.
It's gonna be a doozy.
- I just wanted to come by to...
- Just let me say what needs to be said.
I'm sorry I doubted you, Kirby.
I was just drowning in self-doubt and
grasping at figurative straws when...
Well, when the real emotional lifeline
I needed was here next to me...
the whole time.
You're the lifeline.
No one's ever said that about me.
I've always been the
albatross or dead weight.
Or crazy Kirby.
But before I get weird and weepy,
have you checked your Instagram today?
No. And the next time I check it
will be the last time I check it.
- I'm deleting my account.
- You shouldn't.
Your Instagram is on fire.
Oh, my God. How did this happen?
When I got to the club,
I put my phone on the bar to
record Lady Shady's takedown.
I wanted to expose her.
But then you started exposing
yourself in a way that felt...
more important and way cooler.
So, I posted it.
Now your hashtag-"love thyself"
message is viral.
Or I look insane.
A hundred thousand views and
50,000 new followers beg to differ.
- Permission to disturb?
- Thank you for knocking.
Well, I know last night
was a roller coaster.
More like a bungee
jump without a bungee.
That's kind of an ominous visual.
Are you okay?
If there's one thing I know for sure,
it is that I am not okay.
You know, I spent a week in bed
because of a guy, which is pathetic.
My business judgment is so off
that I actually tried to make a deal
with a woman who was clearly a fraud...
Hey, I fell for her too.
- Yeah, that doesn't really help me.
- Same.
I've been talking about doing all these
things and haven't done any of them.
Now there's gonna be this article
telling the world what a mess I am.
So... things are good.
- How are you?
- Well, crazily,
my accidental self-love
mantra is trending.
I never knew I could help other
people just by telling it like it is.
- You're gonna be an influencer now?
- I think I have to.
I have 421,489 followers.
And three sponsors have
already sent me tunics.
- I would run from those.
- Never again.
Well, glad to see you've
got it all figured out.
And to focus on the positive, I am going
to start posting daily affirmations.
And I want the first one
to be just for you.
You may be in a dark place right now,
but the light will come.
You just need to find it.
- Dad?
- There she is.
Knew you'd be back on top,
back in fighting shape in no time.
Actually, I'm not.
I am not on top,
and I am definitely not in good shape.
Everyone was right about me.
I need your help, Daddy.
- Blake, I...
- Before you say anything,
I just wanna tell you I'm
sorry I stormed out before.
- I needed space.
- I understand.
I thought I could wrap my
head around the possibility
that baby might not be mine.
But...
I saw the pain Steven felt
about his confused parentage.
On top of that, you kept this a secret.
And how can I believe you now?
- You say that Mark is out of your life...
- I'm telling the truth.
There is no Mark Jennings in my heart.
But I can only say it so
many times in so many ways.
I found out that some guy
named Mark Jennings
could be the baby daddy.
- I'm guessing it's her ex-husband.
- There's more.
It wasn't easy,
but I've got friends in all places.
I talked to my buddy
who knows the barber
who cuts the hair of a chef that works
at the mayor's favorite restaurant,
and he told me...
Can you get to the point?
You really know how to suck
the fun out of big reveals.
Mark Jennings' last contact.
Please leave.
Hello. Is this Mark?
I was thinking about what
you said yesterday, and I agree.
Partners should work together
and respect one another.
- I'm glad to hear you say that.
- But let me remind you,
you had one good move
that got you this job,
so, I figure I owe you one of my own
before we get back to even again.
- What are you talking about?
- You're in the big leagues now.
- Oh, hell, no.
- Oh, hell, no.
---
Previously on Dynasty:
There may be a job
for you with the team.
Takes a fool to say no
to Blake Carrington.
Takes an even bigger fool to say yes,
but here I am.
I assure you Fallon has zero
involvement with this team.
- Does this mean you're coming home?
- Soon, yeah.
I've gotta run for now. I love you, Sam.
I'm not sure the baby is Blake's.
I went home and made a huge mistake
by sleeping with my ex-husband.
- You need to tell him the truth.
- We did that.
Oh, my God. Liam?
You are my one.
There was a time when I thought
I couldn't live without you.
Now I can't stand the sight of you.
Wait a minute. Haven't
I seen you before? I know your face.
- Get out. Or shall I call my servant?
- Get out. Or shall I call my servant?
You're Norma Desmond.
You used to be in silent pictures.
You used to be big.
- I am big.
- I am big.
- It's the pictures that got small.
- It's the pictures that got small.
- What are you doing here?
- Checking up on you.
You haven't answered my texts in a week.
Well, I'm boycotting my phone.
And people.
Specifically boys.
Boycotting boys?
How second-grade of you.
When was the last time
you left your room?
Or ate something other than candy?
- Do gin-soaked olives count?
- Liam really did a number on you.
He said that I was no longer
the girl he knew and loved,
the sophisticated, savvy businesswoman
who wanted to start her own dynasty.
Did he really say "sophisticated"?
You know what? It doesn't even matter.
We need to get you out of here.
How about this? I'm hosting a
party tomorrow night at the club.
It's game night but high-end.
Aggressive competition
always cheers you up.
Not this time.
I just wanna be left alone.
Hit it.
So, I think Cassius Cardinal
is the best mascot option.
He's small, but he's fierce.
We're supposed to be presenting
a mission statement to our board.
Our mission is to entertain
the crap out of our fans.
I'm talking performers
and fighter jets. Hey.
Find me some trained cardinals
to fly around during games.
- Okay, that's enough. Go.
- We need to find more substantial messaging.
Our star is homegrown.
We focus on creating a
strong local community.
I'm thinking of a
"Together we will rise" philosophy,
one that speaks to the
all-inclusiveness of our team and fans.
Yeah, it's heartfelt.
- Exactly.
- It's heartfelt mumbo jumbo.
That's not why people watch sports.
I know what's best for my team.
Our team. Then why
don't we just present both?
- Put it up for a board vote.
- Fine with me.
- It's a waste of everyone's time.
- We'll see.
I said make it dirty, not disgusting.
Just start over.
I just got a text from Steven
saying he's extending his
South American walkabout.
Did he mention...?
That you forgot how to knock?
No, I have not spoken to Steven.
Don't take this personally, Sam, but
I really don't wanna see anyone today.
Including you.
So, maybe take it a little personally.
I guess Steven doesn't
wanna see me either,
since he keeps not coming back.
Why do you think that is?
I mean, is it me? I should've
never let him go to Paraguay.
Or you should've gone with him.
I don't know.
But we all know you're not cut out to be
the husband to a charitable missionary.
You don't know what I'm cut out to be.
You couldn't even last
one night in Paraguay.
I don't know why Steven would
think you'd wanna move there.
Besides, I'm sorry to say this,
but you're just too materialistic.
Me? Are you kidding? Look at all this.
Too materialistic for Steven.
Thank you. Much better.
So not sorry to interrupt,
but the post-emo shoegaze feel-hard
band that you requested is here.
- Through there.
- Are we done?
Because I would like to enjoy
all of my feelings in peace
and accompanied by an appropriately
melancholic soundtrack.
I'm too materialistic.
I've been doing some deep thinking
and self-introspection and...
Sounds painful.
It was.
But I realized I have to reinvent myself
to be the kind of man that Steven needs.
I've been doing a lot
of reinvention research.
Pretty much all the experts say
that I have to dematerialize.
Cleanse myself of worldly possessions.
I'm supposed to throw everything out.
Except the things that
truly bring me joy.
I downloaded an app to get us started.
- Not sure what this has to do with Steven.
- Everything.
If I get more aligned with Steven's
thinking and his new way of life,
then... well, he'll fall in love with me
all over again when he gets back.
Very sweet. I'm in. On two conditions.
One: Can I please be your date
for Monica's game night tomorrow?
I hate going to those things alone.
You mean you hate not being on the
invite list and need my plus-one?
- What are besties for?
- Thanks.
And two: I get first dibs
on your so-called trash.
Mi trash es tu trash.
♪ For the first time For the last time ♪
Play it again but sadder.
What do I have to do to get
a little peace in this house?
I don't know. You tell me. It's been
the same song for the last hour.
You are now a human
"do not disturb" sign.
Go. Guard the door.
Is there anything I can do?
Would touching my hair
make you feel any better?
I put in extra conditioner today.
Sadly, I don't even think that would
help. But thank you for offering.
Your stepmotherly duties
are complete. You may go.
I was hoping you haven't told
anyone about my little secret.
What I told you in Sun Valley.
You still haven't told my father
that he may not be the baby daddy?
Not cool, Cristal.
I'm working on it.
It's a hard thing to
just say to someone.
No, it's not. Look.
Blake, I may be having
another man's baby.
- See? It's not that hard.
- What if the baby turns out to be Blake's?
Then I will make him upset
for no reason by telling him.
Which is why...
I got this.
What is that? A time machine
for undoing bad decisions?
No. It's a paternity test.
If it's Mark's child,
I'll confess everything.
But if the baby is Blake's,
then we can keep my moment
of doubt between us ladies.
- Fine.
- Now...
- I'm gonna need a sample.
- Excuse me?
Your DNA is close enough to Blake's
to determine a match with the baby.
- If I do this, you'll leave?
- Mm.
Don't stop playing because of this.
Sadder.
How much have we thrown out?
- Well, that's impressive.
- That's the save pile.
That's the lose pile.
Well, clearly I can't dematerialize.
I'm too close to it.
This is exactly why dentists
don't pull out their own teeth.
So, let's focus.
You and I, we've got this.
- Be merciless.
- No, I can't.
These things are like my own children.
And I'm in no place to
make a Sophie's choice
between animal prints.
I think we're gonna
need professional help.
Seriously?
Give us five, fellas.
You'll recall agreeing to do
a "day in the life" article
for Contemporary Metropolitan Post?
Yeah. I was gonna inspire millions
of little girls everywhere.
I scheduled it a few weeks
after Culhane proposed.
- Back when life had meaning.
- Well, apparently you forgot to cancel.
- The reporter is downstairs.
- Well, that won't do.
- Can't you see I'm taking a little break?
- From reality?
Send him away.
Tell him I have tuberculosis
or some other contagious disease.
I'll make your excuses.
Wait.
- Is the reporter still Kenneth Desai?
- Yes.
Well, he can be a little snarky,
so, make sure he's buying
whatever excuse you're selling
and tell him we'll reschedule
the interview for a later date.
- Otherwise, he'll tweet something mean.
- Understood.
Anyone seeing the state
of your life at the moment
might think it was repulsive.
Not me, of course.
But people you care about.
Mr. Desai, I regret to inform you
that Ms. Carrington is
going to have to reschedule.
- She's not feeling well.
- I hope it's not serious.
I wish she could've told me
before I spent four hours
traveling here from New York.
Yes. She's very sorry.
No, I completely understand.
Health, physical...
or mental, comes first, of course.
You're not tweeting about it, are you?
Hashtag "we'll sue for slander."
What's going on, Anders?
I'm just explaining
to Mr. Desai here that Fallon is...
Here.
Sorry to keep you waiting.
All right, Mr. Desai,
I'm ready for my close-up.
This profile could not
come at a better time.
Now the whole world gets to
see the real Fallon Carrington
and how great I'm doing.
Love the enthusiasm.
So, the basic idea is for me to see
what a typical day looks like
in the life of a young top-of-her-game
billionaire like yourself.
Now, will this be for print,
online, or both?
I just wanna make sure as many
people see this article as possible.
The stronger the material,
the more readers there will be.
So, let's see what you got.
You know, apart
from a proclivity for tardiness
and mysteriously vanishing illnesses.
Sorry about that.
I didn't realize the date, and...
You mean Anders gave you the wrong one.
He's had a lot on his plate. Perhaps
something was lost in translation.
Isn't he from New Zealand?
His accent is thick.
If this is a bad time, we could
always check back in a few months
and see if there's space
and interest in your profile.
- I just wanna do what's best for you.
- No, no, no.
The timing and my personal life
could not be more perfect right now.
Fallon.
I dropped by to check in on you.
I assumed you'd still be in your room.
It's nice to see you
finally made it out.
Mother, this is Kenneth Desai
with Contemporary Metro.
He's writing an article about
how wonderful I'm doing.
Oh, well, I would love to contribute.
My life is going marvelously, as well.
I mean, I am very busy,
but I'm sure I could eke
out four or five hours
if that's what you need.
What a shame. I was about to take
Kenneth on a tour of the house.
Come on, get your bag.
You know, it's funny.
Jennings. It's an odd surname
for a woman of your background.
Where is it that you said you're from?
- Oh, and are there other Jennings?
- Why?
Are you writing an article, as well?
Because I doubt everyone is actually
reading Ex-Wife Weekly.
I know that you don't think
that it's any of my business,
but it is Blake's.
- Blake knows everything he needs to know.
- You mean only what you've told him.
And this whole
"international woman of mystery" thing,
it isn't fooling anyone.
The only fool here is you, Alexis.
I have no secrets. Nothing to hide.
We'll see.
You know what they say.
Where there's smoke, there's a liar.
This is it. Ground zero.
Who's this?
This is the Insta guru I found
to solve all my problems.
Lady Monk.
Though I prefer
"mindfulness specialist" to "guru."
Kirby Anders, friend specialist.
I was helping him declutter
before you arrived,
and I thought we were
doing just fine on our own.
Actually, we were flailing,
and that's exactly why you're here.
Your teachings really stood out
from the sea of Insta
self-improvement coaches.
That and your perfectly curated feed.
Before we get started,
I let all my clients
pick one item to save.
Here.
This is the shirt I was wearing
the last time I saw Steven.
The last time we kissed.
I know it's just a shirt,
but it really...
What are you doing?
Whoa! Not cool.
No, no, no.
The shirt is not Steven, Sam.
Objects are not the
people they represent.
Wow, I... never thought
about it that way.
I gotta say, I...
I'm already feeling a little clearer.
And why would I spy
on Mr. Carrington's fiancée for you?
Because she won't tell me anything.
And that's what friends
like us do for one another.
Fine. If you won't do it,
I'll just have to show Blake
how utterly firable you are.
Since when is driving a car
and having a girlfriend a crime?
Well, when you're joyriding
in Blake's Rolls-Royce
and Joy, the housemaid, is riding you.
I would imagine that
she'll be fired, as well,
when... Blake sees these.
And that would be such a shame.
- What do you want me to do?
- Well, you're a gardener, Tony.
I want you to do some digging.
Which leads us to my third-favorite
painting in the house.
I've seen the grounds, the cellar,
your butler's duck-decoy collection,
but I have yet to see the real
top-of-her-game Fallon
that you promised.
So, why do I get the feeling
you're hiding something?
I'm not. I mean...
feel free to ask me anything.
Well, since this article was also
supposed to be about a day in the life
of a new bride, I have to ask,
how have you handled the breakup?
Wonderfully.
I mean, as well as could be expected.
Yes, the relationship did not work out,
but it ended amicably.
- And it's as simple and boring as that.
- Good for you.
I couldn't write for two
months after my last breakup.
Just buried myself in tissues and vodka.
I can see how that
would be hard for you.
So, you don't mind if I call
Michael Culhane, do you?
- Especially since things are so amicable.
- Of course not.
But you don't even have to call him,
because he and I actually
have dinner plans tonight,
and you're welcome to join.
- Well, that's perfect.
- Isn't it just?
Okay. Well, I...
If you'll excuse me a moment,
I need to go ahead to my solo
afternoon meditation.
Just like Oprah.
Oh, write that down.
_
Joy. Could you mail
this for me right away?
Please don't mention it to anyone.
- Of course.
- Thank you.
Hey, Joy, I'm headed to the post office.
You want me to take that for you?
Actually, that would be super helpful.
Here.
_
Well, this will work.
Seems like our little angel
has been spreading her wings
in more than one bed, hasn't she?
My name is Sammy Jo Carrington,
and I am ready to free myself
from the energy of material things
in order to create a
better version of me.
- Hi, Steven.
- And to Instagram it goes.
You are doing so wonderfully, Sam.
Now all you have to do
to be who you want to be
is to let yourself feel free.
Now it's detox time.
Bye.
Yes. I did it.
This and this and this.
Yes.
Oh, no. This is staying. It's Gucci.
We're not just making
space for the new Sam.
We're also providing for
others who are in need.
Can't argue with that.
This is insane.
You barely know this Insta crank,
and you're gonna throw everything away?
Kirby, I know you're distrustful,
but negative thoughts
lead to negative results.
And look at all the
progress that Sam is making.
Isn't that what's really important?
You weren't kidding.
I think this merits a
selfie with my sensei.
Kirby.
- Are you trying to steal that?
- No, I was saving it.
For when you eventually remember
that you can't live without Gucci.
Negative thoughts, negative results.
Kirby, maybe you need to replenish,
come back later.
Try a banana.
Potassium is a real lifesaver.
All we have to do is switch out
the original paternity sample
with a non-Carrington sample
so the tests come back as not a match.
And then we make sure
that Blake sees the results
confirming that the baby's not his,
and bye-bye, Cristal.
Non-Carrington DNA coming right up.
Yeah.
Good dog. Good dog.
Dinner. Dinner was the emergency?
I'm picking up on a hostile vibe.
If we could take it down a notch.
- You 911'ed me.
- Because it is an emergency.
The writer does not have a story, so,
he zeroed in on our relationship.
He's gonna keep looking for stuff
unless we throw him off.
We have plenty of skeletons
that need to stay buried,
so, I needed to warn you.
It was not just a 911 for me.
It was a 911 for us.
Fallon, there is no us.
Not anymore.
I'm no longer at your beck and call.
I can't drop everything to save,
what, your vanity?
My vanity. That's very funny.
Because wasn't it your vanity
that made you wanna go
work for that evil woman
so you could feel all big and all macho?
As a matter of fact, you owe me
for destroying our relationship
after I saved your ass.
Owe you?
Everything I did was to protect you.
To close the Van Kirk deal.
To save you from Ada.
All you've ever done was treat
me like a little plaything
in your never-ending psycho drama.
- You put yourself in that position.
- Well, not anymore.
I don't know what happened to you,
but you're not the Fallon
Carrington that I used to love.
So, I was wrong. There's definitely
a story here worth telling.
Less "Fallon Carrington,
billions and brains,"
more "Fallon Carrington,
billion-dollar mess."
We need to think of the game as
more a show than a sporting event.
- People wanna be entertained.
- Isn't that what the match is for?
You're not thinking big enough.
Every team plays a game.
But how many of them, I don't know,
introduce their lineup
by having them skydive into the stadium?
- Probably none. That's a huge liability.
- Bells and whistles are great,
but we want our mission statement
to be something deeper, more meaningful.
Exactly. And MLS LAFC's motto is
"Shoulder to shoulder."
What's this team stand for?
Great point. Which is why I'm
suggesting that our team's motto be
"Together we will rise."
It's inclusive of the team and the fans
but also the community as a whole.
We can build a great ad campaign,
even get local schools involved.
That sounds great.
You should've led with that.
We can discuss it more
at our next meeting.
Wait. You're leaving?
I thought we were having dinner.
I'm sorry Michael couldn't make it.
He had a family emergency.
Yes. It definitely sounded
like some kind of emergency.
What do you mean, sounded like?
I'm not sure what you thought you heard.
No, I didn't hear anything, but...
This is gonna be a beautiful piece.
I think that you're gonna
be really surprised.
In a good way.
- So, that's it? We're done?
- Let's just say I have everything I need.
Wait. Wait. Um...
I was holding back.
And I'm sorry for burying the lede.
But I told you I was working
on something big, business-wise,
so, at least
give me a chance to show you.
You know, it's a little late,
and I'm not hungry.
I already gorged myself
on this tiny charcuterie plate.
Well, the launch party for my new
company is tomorrow night.
How many chances do you get
to profile Jobs and
Wozniak before their Apple?
It's one night. A party at Club Colby.
And I promise,
this is the groundbreaking,
aspirational angle
worthy of your skills as a journalist.
Okay.
I could stay another day.
But only 'cause I love a good party.
Monica, you were right.
I will definitely be
coming to game night.
But I've got a different game to play.
Hey, guys, it's me.
I'm just here eating
sustainably with food I foraged.
This is watercress and burdock.
Came right out of the ground.
You just steam it, salt and pepper it.
Voilà .
That must taste like dirt.
Lady Monk gave me a new outlook.
Food is just fuel.
It doesn't need to be anything more.
I get it.
But I think actual fuel
might taste better than that.
Same with clothes.
I don't need anything more
than this organic fair-trade
zero-carbon-footprint tunic.
Maybe you should wear it tonight.
I'll try and coordinate.
I forgot to tell you.
I can't go with you to game night.
- I'm taking Lady Monk as my plus-one.
- Wait. What? Why?
I wanna introduce her to new clients.
She's made such a difference in my life.
Besides, think of how
impressed Steven will be
when he hears how much
I've committed to this lifestyle.
I'm starting to worry
about her influence on you.
You don't need to.
This is no weirder than a juice cleanse
or Gwyneth steaming her vagina.
First of all, huge Gwyneth fan.
Second of all, I am not one
to slam wackadoodle beliefs,
but this woman seems super dodgy.
What do you really know about her?
I know that I am happier
than I've been in weeks.
Actually, Lady Monk warned me
that this might happen,
that you may try to stop me
from being my best self.
She warned you about me?
- Mm-hm.
- Brilliant.
I am just trying to prevent that
culture-appropriating fake healer
from taking advantage of you.
She said you're angry because
you're not the center of attention.
And I think she's right.
That's just sad.
So, namaste.
You did what?
I said to replace the sample with
non-Carrington DNA, not dog DNA.
I thought you would appreciate
that I went above and beyond.
There is no way the daddy DNA
is gonna match the baby's.
Because it won't match any human DNA.
Okay, now the lab
is gonna ask for more samples
so that they can rerun the tests.
There's gotta be a way to save this.
I need you to keep trailing Cristal
and see if you can't find out
who that baby daddy could be.
Aside from Blake.
Okay, run along. Get going.
Wait, what happened
to the giant battleships?
I didn't realize by "cohosting,"
you meant taking over my game night.
Well... I'm not taking it over.
I'm just making it larger-than-life.
Though I couldn't get jumbo Candy Land.
I was gonna have people
dress up as the characters.
I always had a thing
for Princess Frostine.
She is cute.
Wait. So, all of this is for a reporter?
No. Well, technically, yes.
I just need him to write an article
that Liam can read to see
how great I'm doing.
Look, you are the one who said
you're boycotting boys.
I need to make Liam see
that he has no effect on me
and he is missing out on
the best Fallon Carrington.
One other thing to know:
Tonight is also the launch
party for my new business.
- You don't have a new business.
- Not yet. But the night is young.
All I have to do is find
someone here with a great idea,
convince them to pretend
I've always been their partner,
and let Kenneth do the rest.
Sounds like a foolproof plan to me.
I don't need your sarcasm, Monica.
I need your help.
Please. And a miracle.
Speaking of miracles,
the CEO of Spartan Force is coming.
This is shaping up to be the
best fake launch party yet.
Thank you for letting me do this.
As if I had a choice.
Tell me you're not trying to
pilfer another credit card.
I'm not pilfering anything,
whatever that means.
- I'm trying to get Sam's stuff back.
- The things he willingly donated?
To an Insta guru who says
they're going to charity,
but I highly doubt that.
Why do you doubt her? Sam seems happy.
I cross-referenced Lady Monk's
feed with some other feeds.
There's just too many things
that don't add up.
- All right. Well, how can I be of help?
- I already handled it.
His tablet he gave away is still on,
and I pinged it.
It's... wherever that is.
I can wait to get used
at the next meeting.
- I didn't use you. I used your idea.
- Without mentioning where you got it.
Hold on. Is that what this is about?
Credit and ego? I didn't realize
it was that important to you.
I guess I should've seen it coming,
given the games you played to get here.
I've learned those filthy
games from a master: you.
I've also learned how to match you,
Blake, so, watch out.
As far as ego,
it's hard to tell whose is bigger:
yours or your daughter's.
- Don't make this personal, Michael.
- It already is.
I've dealt with the two
of you using me for years.
My days as a Carrington pawn are over.
So, what?
- You're done with the team?
- No.
But I am done with Fallon.
And I'm done with you treating
me like I'm still your driver.
You're blowing this out of proportion.
It's just business.
Exactly.
And this is my opportunity
to make something of myself.
And I'm not letting you get in the way.
So, if you want my expertise,
you're gonna need to accept
that we're partners.
- That's right.
- I know.
Easy.
Hey, welcome to the launch
of Fallon Unlimited.
Yeah, you really went all out here.
So, what was the thinking
behind game night?
Is this related to your new company,
in some way?
Well, once I reveal my concept to you
and introduce you to my business partner,
I think it'll all come together.
Let's get you a drink. Or several.
Thank you so much for inviting me, Sam.
This gives me a chance to
fund-raise for my charity,
Lady Monk's Mindful Giving,
and to spread my ideas
to the uninitiated.
I think the tunics might be a
little too biblical for this crowd.
Let's focus on finding people who
are like-minded and open-minded.
Like her. Isn't that your sister-in-law?
Yeah, but that is not
a mind you wanna open.
Trust me.
Why don't we try something
new and split up?
Double our reach, double our teach.
All right.
Well, I won't let you down.
Carrington residence.
No, I'm not interested
in a new cable company.
Carrington residence.
Oh, I believe we're already
given quite generously.
Carrington residence.
This is Pacific North
Bio Lab in Seattle.
I'm calling for Cristal Jennings.
Please hold.
Well, hello there. This is Cristal.
Yes. Mrs. Jennings,
we wanted to let you know
that you need to resubmit
your paternity test.
Unfortunately,
the sample was contaminated.
Oh! How awful.
Well, I'm feeling a little
nauseous at the moment.
You know, it's my first trimester.
Well, would y'all mind if I just
transferred you to my husband?
Well, my fiancé.
He's almost my husband.
All right. One moment, please.
The new maid accidentally
handed me the phone,
but it's for Cristal.
Something about tests for the baby?
This is Blake.
What do you mean, another sample?
For what?
A paternity test? I'm the father.
Why would she...?
Son of a bitch.
It's sort of a hybrid tech-analog idea.
My favorite kind.
Are you looking for funding?
It does involve a version of
S and M using 4-D technology.
Because I don't have any funding.
- Is he your partner?
- Him? No.
I've been here for over an hour,
and you still haven't told me
the groundbreaking idea
that's gonna relaunch Fallon
Carrington to the world.
- Unless there isn't one.
- Oh, there is one.
Why else would I go
through all this trouble?
Oh, let me introduce you to Monica.
She is the club owner. We've been
friends since we were kids.
Monica Colby, this is Kenneth Desai,
the reporter I was telling you about.
You throw a great party.
Really, it's all Fallon.
This is her launch.
Wait till you hear about her company.
It's gonna blow your mind.
- It's really a...
- Go back to work now, Monica. Okay.
You know, Monica and I started
a record label together.
- Who are your artists?
- Uh...
- Fallon.
- Can I help you?
Can you help me?
A little in-joke between us girls.
Lady Monk, mindfulness specialist
with a million Insta followers.
Fallon and I are collabing. Partners.
- And you are?
- Kenneth Desai, Contemporary Metro.
Excuse me, but Kenneth is
interviewing me, Lady Granola.
- Come on.
- Hold on.
I'm glad to finally
meet Fallon's partner.
I've been dying to hear all about
this brilliant new company idea.
So, you threw everything away and now
you're, what, hunting and gathering?
No more gathering.
Just hunting for inner peace.
This has been a real trip,
but I just contributed to
Steven's foundation at the gala.
My checkbook is all worn out.
Sorry.
Namaste.
Are you gonna join me in bed,
or just stare like a stalker?
You just looked so serene.
Just so serene.
For someone who doesn't know
whose baby they're carrying.
- How did you...?
- The lab called.
- About your paternity test.
- My God.
The results were contaminated.
They needed another sample.
- Blake.
- Were you gonna tell me?
Or were you gonna let me carry
another man's baby like Alexis?
I was going to tell you
if the baby wasn't yours.
But I think...
I feel in my heart it is yours.
It happened before I thought
you and I could ever be together.
I went back to Arizona. I saw my ex...
- Who the hell was that, huh, Cristal?
- My ex-husband.
Mark Jennings.
We got married very young.
My parents partially owned
a soccer team. He was a player.
But they had a falling-out when he
refused to throw a game for them.
They destroyed his career.
They would stop at nothing to ruin him.
It became too dangerous to be together.
We had to end it.
You had to?
So, you still have feelings for him?
No. It was a long time ago.
- Clearly not that long ago.
- Blake, last time was a mistake.
I came back here and I
completely fell for you.
You have to believe me. I love you.
Please say something.
Anything.
This is fascinating. You were
mentioning something about a book?
You caught me. Lady Monk's brand is
the company I've been hinting about.
And, yes, the book is gonna be huge.
We have a multi-platform
attack scheduled
so that we can take it international,
as well.
We've been working on it for,
what, months?
We want to feature my
philosophy and methods
so that people can practice
a mindful detachment at home.
I'm also working on an app.
"Fallon Carrington:
from heiress to lifestyle savant."
It's really surprising and interesting.
Not exactly the next logical step.
"Logic can take you from A to B.
But the imagination can take
you everywhere." Einstein.
I'm curious about your initial
investment in the project.
- We haven't really...
- Several million. With a back end.
We are still working out the details,
but, you know,
details are just the...
grains of sand on the beach of life.
This is definitely an
unexpected turn for the article.
I wanna run this new angle by my editor.
- Give me a minute?
- Yeah.
I don't know who you are, but thank
you very much for playing along.
- We need to talk about this more.
- There you are.
I didn't have any luck trying to find
new clients or fund-raising. Sorry.
But I have an idea.
I can give you money from the
Steven Carrington Foundation
so you can keep helping people.
I'm sorry.
Sam, we are discussing business,
so, please take
your toga party elsewhere.
This is my guru. You can find your own.
- First of all, mindfulness specialist.
- Yeah.
And secondly, I can accept both
of your investments and donations.
One Carrington's not enough?
Trying to bag yourself a second?
Kirby, you are making no sense.
This is no time for your crazy.
Right. I'm sorry.
- Lady Monk here is a con artist.
- You're kidding.
- What?
- Jealousy is so ugly
- on such a beautiful face.
- I tracked your stuff to a warehouse.
It's all boxed up and ready to be
shipped to a consignment store.
This is what she does.
She rips people off and
has someone sell it online.
It's all here.
The proceeds from all of those
sales are going to charities.
UNICEF, the Red Cross, all of them.
Right. I'm sure once my father
finishes tracking your money trail,
we'll find that those proceeds go
directly into your burlap pocket.
Oh, my God.
You convinced me to wear
this ugly-ass outfit
and to eat grass.
- I was about to give you millions.
- No, Sam. Steven would be so proud of...
- Don't you dare bring him up.
- This is how she gets people.
When they're at their most vulnerable,
which is clearly you two.
I mean, you miss your husband.
And you have barely left your room
ever since Liam rejected you
like a sad, moldy loaf of bread.
Well, that was a little harsh. But true.
Look, I just met this
crackpot five minutes ago.
I was so insecure that it was
easier to let you convince me
that I was the problem, but I'm not.
I mean, sure,
I should be less materialistic,
but I'm amazing,
even if I'm work in progress,
and Steven will realize that or not.
You even made me question
my fashion sense.
Security. Please get this pathetic
Insta grifter out of here.
You're calling me pathetic? Look around.
You faked an entire party
to impress one reporter?
Takes a fraud to know a fraud.
You're the biggest one of them all,
Fallon Carrington.
You're done.
Like I said, I do love a good party.
And I think I have everything I need.
Keep an eye out for the article.
It's gonna be a doozy.
- I just wanted to come by to...
- Just let me say what needs to be said.
I'm sorry I doubted you, Kirby.
I was just drowning in self-doubt and
grasping at figurative straws when...
Well, when the real emotional lifeline
I needed was here next to me...
the whole time.
You're the lifeline.
No one's ever said that about me.
I've always been the
albatross or dead weight.
Or crazy Kirby.
But before I get weird and weepy,
have you checked your Instagram today?
No. And the next time I check it
will be the last time I check it.
- I'm deleting my account.
- You shouldn't.
Your Instagram is on fire.
Oh, my God. How did this happen?
When I got to the club,
I put my phone on the bar to
record Lady Shady's takedown.
I wanted to expose her.
But then you started exposing
yourself in a way that felt...
more important and way cooler.
So, I posted it.
Now your hashtag-"love thyself"
message is viral.
Or I look insane.
A hundred thousand views and
50,000 new followers beg to differ.
- Permission to disturb?
- Thank you for knocking.
Well, I know last night
was a roller coaster.
More like a bungee
jump without a bungee.
That's kind of an ominous visual.
Are you okay?
If there's one thing I know for sure,
it is that I am not okay.
You know, I spent a week in bed
because of a guy, which is pathetic.
My business judgment is so off
that I actually tried to make a deal
with a woman who was clearly a fraud...
Hey, I fell for her too.
- Yeah, that doesn't really help me.
- Same.
I've been talking about doing all these
things and haven't done any of them.
Now there's gonna be this article
telling the world what a mess I am.
So... things are good.
- How are you?
- Well, crazily,
my accidental self-love
mantra is trending.
I never knew I could help other
people just by telling it like it is.
- You're gonna be an influencer now?
- I think I have to.
I have 421,489 followers.
And three sponsors have
already sent me tunics.
- I would run from those.
- Never again.
Well, glad to see you've
got it all figured out.
And to focus on the positive, I am going
to start posting daily affirmations.
And I want the first one
to be just for you.
You may be in a dark place right now,
but the light will come.
You just need to find it.
- Dad?
- There she is.
Knew you'd be back on top,
back in fighting shape in no time.
Actually, I'm not.
I am not on top,
and I am definitely not in good shape.
Everyone was right about me.
I need your help, Daddy.
- Blake, I...
- Before you say anything,
I just wanna tell you I'm
sorry I stormed out before.
- I needed space.
- I understand.
I thought I could wrap my
head around the possibility
that baby might not be mine.
But...
I saw the pain Steven felt
about his confused parentage.
On top of that, you kept this a secret.
And how can I believe you now?
- You say that Mark is out of your life...
- I'm telling the truth.
There is no Mark Jennings in my heart.
But I can only say it so
many times in so many ways.
I found out that some guy
named Mark Jennings
could be the baby daddy.
- I'm guessing it's her ex-husband.
- There's more.
It wasn't easy,
but I've got friends in all places.
I talked to my buddy
who knows the barber
who cuts the hair of a chef that works
at the mayor's favorite restaurant,
and he told me...
Can you get to the point?
You really know how to suck
the fun out of big reveals.
Mark Jennings' last contact.
Please leave.
Hello. Is this Mark?
I was thinking about what
you said yesterday, and I agree.
Partners should work together
and respect one another.
- I'm glad to hear you say that.
- But let me remind you,
you had one good move
that got you this job,
so, I figure I owe you one of my own
before we get back to even again.
- What are you talking about?
- You're in the big leagues now.
- Oh, hell, no.
- Oh, hell, no.