Dwight in Shining Armor (2018–2021): Season 1, Episode 7 - Winnie the Wyvern - full transcript
- I knew from our first date,
at the dolphin encounter,
you looked so hot.
- Oh, he's gonna do it.
- Shush.
- Your friends were hot too,
but you were like, mega hot.
I knew from that moment
in my heart,
you were the girl of my dreams.
- Fopdoodle.
Dwight: That's not a word.
- All talk, no valor.
Baldric: Now, now.
He did show some gallantry at
the dolphin encounter.
- Agreed.
You know, and besides valor
really isn't
what girls are looking for in
this millennium.
- What then?
- Thoughtfulness, sensitivity.
- [scoff]
- You mean the opposite
of valor?
Man: You would make
the most beautiful selfies.
You look so hot next to me.
[knocking continues]
- Ugh.
Not again.
Baldric: Who's without?
- We shall just ignore her.
- Oh no.
- Whoa, who's that?
- Will we have to move again?
- But I just hung
all the tapestries.
No, no, no!
Enough is enough.
Shoo!
Shoo!
Off with you now.
Dwight: Dude, what
is wrong with you?
There's no reason
to be rude, okay?
- Wrong!
Scat!
- Is she gone?
- We can only hope and pray.
[sock hop music]
- I don't see her.
- Hi.
Uh, come-- come on in.
- [snort]
Dwight: So sorry about that.
I'm Dwight.
- You let her in the house?
- What can I do for you?
- Ahh!
[snarling]
- Uh oh.
- [snarl]
- Do you know her?
♪
Okay, so about
a thousand years ago,
there was this princess,
Gretta,
and she was in big trouble
because she had lots of enemies
and not a lot of friends.
So her court magician, Baldric,
cast The Champion Spell.
It put everyone in the woods
to sleep
until a champion would come,
break the spell with his kiss
and deal with Gretta's
big scary enemies.
But that guy never showed up.
Instead, they got me.
[Renaissance music]
♪
♪
- [snort]
[snarl]
- Now we'll never be rid of her.
- What does she want?
- I wish I knew.
Baldric: It's not too late
to run her off.
I'll get the rocks.
Dwight: Yeah, we're
not doing that.
- [sniffing]
Ah!
- What is even happening?
Gretta: It means she's
raving mad.
- Okay.
Well, she snarls and spits.
- He may have a point, Highness.
- But she's just being her...
authentic self.
Baldric: She may indeed
be speaking,
but not any human tongue.
- Ah ah!
- There is one person I know
who could help us.
- No, Baldric, I forbid it.
- What?
- She tried to chop
my finger off.
- I understand your objection.
- You mean the scary witch lady?
Baldric: But when it comes to
bestial languages--
- I would not trust her
with a sack of cabbages.
- Nor would I ask you to,
Highness.
I will go and entreat her help.
Gretta: By no means.
You recall what she did to
you the last time
you were alone together.
Baldric: Perhaps the less
said about that...
- Okay, this is--
this is a good story, huh?
What'd she do?
Come on, man.
This is a safe space.
- [scream]
- Whoa!
Whoa-whoa, whoa, easy does it.
We can resolve this.
We just have to open a
dialogue, right?
Baldric: To that point,
Highness,
we must take what help
we can get.
- [spits]
- Hexela.
- You'll see a difference
in six days.
Three if the moon is waxing.
Baldric: Be gone, peasant-hag.
- On the house, honey.
I'm closing up shop for--
- The foreseeable future.
- [snarling]
[blows raspberry]
[snort]
[spit]
[sniff]
- I see.
- [clears throat]
- [snarling]
- Curious.
- What?
- Wyvernese.
- Huh?
- She's a wyvern?
- What's a wyvern?
- A dragon.
- A water dragon,
let us be clear.
- Yeah, yeah.
Let us be clear,
because clearly this is a girl.
- Psst.
[clears throat]
[screeching]
[snarl]
[raspberry]
- [responds in Wyvernese]
- [Wyvernese continues]
- [speaking Wyvernese]
- Tragic tale.
She is indeed a wyvern.
Born to the water,
and for ages she lived
peacefully in its cool depths
until one day a cunning man
lured her to the banks
and when she stepped out of the
water,
she shed her dragon skin
and became human
and in that moment the thief
stole her dragon skin
and vanished into the lake.
And without her skin,
well, she's trapped inside
this hideous body.
Dwight: I mean,
I wouldn't say hideous.
Hexela: She wants her skin
back, Your Highness.
- Why is she looking at me?
- The thief came
from the castle.
- The thief and the
dragon skin are long gone.
- [speaking Wyvernese]
Hexela: [translating]
I want to go home.
I am lost in this world where
everything is strange.
All that I was and all that I
know was taken from me,
and no human soul cares.
- I care.
I mean, what-- what kind of
world are we living in, huh?
One where a wyvern dragon girl
can't step out of the water
without getting her skin stolen.
Balrdic: Hear, hear.
- This won't stand.
An attack on one of us is an
attack on all of us
and it must be answered.
- Spoken with valor.
- So then, Sir Dwight,
you are pledged to this quest.
- Uh, I would need a few more
details before I commit.
- Fopdoodle.
- I'm in.
And that's still not a word.
Baldric: What say you, Highnes?
Shall we aid in this cause?
And be rid of this pest at last?
- Tell the wyvern
we will find her skin
and restore her to her home.
- [speaking Wyvernese]
[wall rumbling]
She comes from a lake
deep in the woods.
A lake shaped like a crescent.
- Did you say crescent?
- I did.
There's something
I must show you.
- Is this-- This is my map!
- What?
Oh, [snort]
How careless of me.
- You sticky fingered,
little sneak thief.
- I beg your pardon, sir?
- How did you get this?
- You gave it to me, Baldric.
- When I was bewitched
no doubt.
- As a token of your love.
Dwight: Okay, when
do I get to hear this story?
- Not now.
We are on a quest.
But know this, witch,
we are watching your every mo.
- Ooh.
I certainly hope so, Baldric.
Now, this is a map--
Baldric: Of the woods,
Your Highness,
in particular
of the Dark Realm.
- The what?
- It's where dark forces dwell
and should not be disturbed.
- 'Kay.
- Behold.
- The crescent lake.
Dwight: It looks like
a croissant.
♪
This map is a joke.
- Let me see.
So, if the Great Oak Tree
is there,
then the fairy ring would
have been right about here.
- Those are not helpful
landmarks.
- I wouldn't rely too heavily
on this map.
- Oh, you're saying this now.
Baldric: I'll go gather wood
for the fire.
- What fire?
You'll burn the forest down.
- We must make camp before dark.
- No, nobody's camping.
We've got school tomorrow.
- You have an absurd obsession
with school.
- And you have more
unexcused absences
than the rest of the student
body combined.
- [raspberry]
Cornswaggle.
Wyvern: [snarl]
- Could be searching these
woods for months, years even.
Quests are notoriously
long affairs.
- Where are you going?
- I'm done stompin' around the
woods like a freakin' hobbit.
This is my quest.
I'm doing this my way.
- Wait.
Dwight: Now this is a map.
Gretta: Make it bigger.
Make it smaller.
Make it bigger.
Make it smaller.
Make it bigger.
Make it smaller--
- Stop.
Woods, woods, woods, woods.
No sign of a lake shaped like
a crescent roll.
- A crescent moon.
- Yeah, that works too, I guess.
So if I zoom out.
- There!
- That's Woodside Lake
right here in town.
No, it can't be it.
It's not gonna be shaped
like a crescent.
More like a breadstick.
- If that's the lake it
means--
- It can't be.
Woodside Lake is man-made.
- You're certain?
- There's one way to know
for sure.
[phone ringing]
- You must be Dwight.
- Thank you for taking the
time to meet with us, Mr. Dale.
- Sure thing.
- This is Gretta and...
- Winnifreda.
- Winnie, for short.
So, we have a couple questions
about when Woodside
was first built.
- Well, it's nice to see our
young people taking an interest
in local history.
- Our survival depends on it.
Dwight: We're doing a group
project for school.
It's kind of a killer, you know?
- Oh.
Dwight: So, you were the
original city planner
for Woodside, right?
- Coming up on 20 years ago.
This area was nothing but
woods and more woods back then.
Winnifreda: [snarling]
[splashing]
- Dory!
- Oh.
No, no, drop, drop.
Let it go.
So sorry about that.
Winnie has a, um,
mercury deficiency,
and it's a real thing, you know?
- What of the Crescent Lake?
- Uh, hm?
- Woodside Lake,
did you work on that?
- Oh, nothing to work on.
That lake's been there
since the dawn of time.
- This lake, right here?
- Yeah, we just cleared
the trees
and built the town around it.
Twenty percent of the homes
in Woodside have a lake view.
- You fools, you have tampered
with dark powers
that will be your undoing!
- You know, that's nothing to
worry about.
She's kind of a drama queen.
Thank you for your time.
- [chirp]
[romantic music]
♪
- Oh, here's a juicy story
about the bailiff
and a local silk thrower.
- Another time.
- When did you become
such a lovelfubble?
- Make yourself useful,
madam, or be off.
- As you wish.
- Wait.
A young maid tormented the
royal family day and night
with hisses and snarls.
- Sounds like our girl.
When was this?
- [mumbling]
Oh, strange.
- [sniff]
Gretta: Ah!
- What's amiss?
- We are undone!
Dwight: I'm pretty sure
you're just overreacting.
- Make haste.
We must fly.
- From what danger?
- We found the dark realm.
- Where?
Gretta: Here!
This village was built
on its bones.
- Sorry.
Hexela: Then the
Crescent Lake is--
Gretta: There!
Not a furlong away.
- I bathe in that lake.
- Ew.
- Take only what Sir Dwight
can carry.
- Oof!
I'm not goin' anywhere!
Gretta: Before we flee,
we must warn the villagers.
- They brought desolation
upon themselves
when they disturbed
the dark realm.
- [snarling]
- Ow!
What was that for?
- [growling]
Gretta: It's your own fault
for taking in a wild animal.
Dwight: She's not wild,
she's just--
- [ravenous chomping]
- Hungry.
Hexela: Baldric, don't go.
- I'm sorry, Hexela.
But a relationship must be
founded on more
than lies, treachery, and a loe
potion slipped into my ale.
- Okay, now
can I hear this story?
Hexela: [laughing]
My adorable Baldric,
you misunderstand me.
- I do?
Hexela: The evil that dwells
here cannot rise
unless it is summoned.
And you and I both know there
are very few who can do that.
But if they come--
- Someone must stop them.
Winnifreda: [burps loudly]
Baldric: [coughing]
Well, now we know what the
inside of a dragon smells like.
- [gnashing teeth]
- Okay, back to Winnie's skin.
[thud]
- You found the Crescent Lake.
Now you have only to draw the
thief up from its depths.
- How?
- With a love song.
[sighs]
As legend goes,
the wyvern will rise to the
surface and even leave the watr
when it hears its mating call.
But this is a delicate dance
of love that can take months.
The hopeful suitor must often
stand on every bank,
night after night,
hoping its call will reach
the ears of its wyvern mate.
- Who's got time for that?
Here you go, Winnie.
Sing your heart out.
- [speaking Wyvernese]
- [responding in Wyvernese]
- 'Kay.
- [singing in Wyvernese]
- [singing in Wyvernese]
- It appears Winnie's
been pestering your family
for centuries before
you were born.
She turns up in
historical accounts
as far back as
King Fergus the Lost.
- What?
- King Fergus the Lost!
- [blows raspberry]
[splashing and bubbling]
- Hide!
Hide.
- Winnie!
Sing, sing!
[imitates screeching]
- [Wyvernese singing resumes]
- [Wyvernese singing resumes]
[growling]
[singing continues]
- The dragon skin!
- Okay, guys, let's do this.
Okay, I'm goin' now.
Keep him busy.
- [singing ends]
- I pray thee, sing on.
Mine ears could drink
of your voice
'til time itself
was lost in song.
You are as beautiful as a
night sky filled with stars.
- Hold, Highness.
This is no common thief.
[snapping twig]
Baldric: King Fergus the Lost.
- Who-- How?
Fergus: You mistake, sir.
They call me King Fergus
the Mighty.
Baldric: Yes, but they changed
it after your disappearance.
- Fergus the Lost.
- Mhm.
Fergus: Makes me sound--
Dwight: [gagging]
- Misplaced.
Dwight: Winnie!
Wi--Winnie!
[groans in disgust]
- [delighted screeching]
[splashing]
♪
- Oh.
[thud]
[clanging]
Dwight: No!
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
Parks and Rec will be
all over us.
Fergus: No! No!
[gasping]
Baldric: Your majesty.
It is a new day.
Gretta: So my great, great
grandfather is a thief?
- Fourth great.
- And a fine mess you left
for the rest of us.
You realize that wyvern has
tormented our family
for four generations.
- Besides the fact that stealing
somebody's skin is just wrong.
- It was the title.
King Fergus the Mighty.
When I was a younger man,
it suited me well.
But as I grew older,
my body turned traitor.
My youth and vigor abandoned
me, what else was I to do but--
- Steal a dragon skin?
Hm hm.
I understand the
temptation, dear,
but stealing from dragons
never works out.
Dwight: Why?
- They're sensitive beasts.
With long memories.
- No, no.
No, I mean why steal
a dragon's skin?
Baldric: Because dragons live
forever.
Fergus: Indeed they do.
But it's not as grand
as it sounds.
I had no way of knowing
before this,
but the life of a wyvern
is dull.
It's very dull.
And this, oh, how I've
missed this!
The feeling of the earth
beneath my feet!
The wind in my beard!
I haven't felt this good
in an age!
[crick]
Ow, ow.
Baldric: Easy, easy.
Whither are you bound, majesty?
- Oh, I still have one or two
more adventures in me.
You know, when I was a boy,
I dreamed of being a bandit.
Perhaps I'll try my hand
at that.
- Still doin' the family proud.
Baldric: An excellent notion,
the woods are vast,
filled with danger, and spoil.
- [shouting] Fare thee well!
Gretta: [exhaling sharply]
Your first quest complete.
- Yeah, who's the fopdoodle now?
[grunts]
So, what is so bad about
a dark realm?
You know what, never mind.
Never mind.
The answer is in the question.
But you guys are staying, right?
Baldric: We will guard
the Dark Realm.
- Though it may cost our lives.
- But it probably won't.
Right?
Hexela: What's buried here
must stay buried.
[Renaissance rock music]
♪
♪
♪
at the dolphin encounter,
you looked so hot.
- Oh, he's gonna do it.
- Shush.
- Your friends were hot too,
but you were like, mega hot.
I knew from that moment
in my heart,
you were the girl of my dreams.
- Fopdoodle.
Dwight: That's not a word.
- All talk, no valor.
Baldric: Now, now.
He did show some gallantry at
the dolphin encounter.
- Agreed.
You know, and besides valor
really isn't
what girls are looking for in
this millennium.
- What then?
- Thoughtfulness, sensitivity.
- [scoff]
- You mean the opposite
of valor?
Man: You would make
the most beautiful selfies.
You look so hot next to me.
[knocking continues]
- Ugh.
Not again.
Baldric: Who's without?
- We shall just ignore her.
- Oh no.
- Whoa, who's that?
- Will we have to move again?
- But I just hung
all the tapestries.
No, no, no!
Enough is enough.
Shoo!
Shoo!
Off with you now.
Dwight: Dude, what
is wrong with you?
There's no reason
to be rude, okay?
- Wrong!
Scat!
- Is she gone?
- We can only hope and pray.
[sock hop music]
- I don't see her.
- Hi.
Uh, come-- come on in.
- [snort]
Dwight: So sorry about that.
I'm Dwight.
- You let her in the house?
- What can I do for you?
- Ahh!
[snarling]
- Uh oh.
- [snarl]
- Do you know her?
♪
Okay, so about
a thousand years ago,
there was this princess,
Gretta,
and she was in big trouble
because she had lots of enemies
and not a lot of friends.
So her court magician, Baldric,
cast The Champion Spell.
It put everyone in the woods
to sleep
until a champion would come,
break the spell with his kiss
and deal with Gretta's
big scary enemies.
But that guy never showed up.
Instead, they got me.
[Renaissance music]
♪
♪
- [snort]
[snarl]
- Now we'll never be rid of her.
- What does she want?
- I wish I knew.
Baldric: It's not too late
to run her off.
I'll get the rocks.
Dwight: Yeah, we're
not doing that.
- [sniffing]
Ah!
- What is even happening?
Gretta: It means she's
raving mad.
- Okay.
Well, she snarls and spits.
- He may have a point, Highness.
- But she's just being her...
authentic self.
Baldric: She may indeed
be speaking,
but not any human tongue.
- Ah ah!
- There is one person I know
who could help us.
- No, Baldric, I forbid it.
- What?
- She tried to chop
my finger off.
- I understand your objection.
- You mean the scary witch lady?
Baldric: But when it comes to
bestial languages--
- I would not trust her
with a sack of cabbages.
- Nor would I ask you to,
Highness.
I will go and entreat her help.
Gretta: By no means.
You recall what she did to
you the last time
you were alone together.
Baldric: Perhaps the less
said about that...
- Okay, this is--
this is a good story, huh?
What'd she do?
Come on, man.
This is a safe space.
- [scream]
- Whoa!
Whoa-whoa, whoa, easy does it.
We can resolve this.
We just have to open a
dialogue, right?
Baldric: To that point,
Highness,
we must take what help
we can get.
- [spits]
- Hexela.
- You'll see a difference
in six days.
Three if the moon is waxing.
Baldric: Be gone, peasant-hag.
- On the house, honey.
I'm closing up shop for--
- The foreseeable future.
- [snarling]
[blows raspberry]
[snort]
[spit]
[sniff]
- I see.
- [clears throat]
- [snarling]
- Curious.
- What?
- Wyvernese.
- Huh?
- She's a wyvern?
- What's a wyvern?
- A dragon.
- A water dragon,
let us be clear.
- Yeah, yeah.
Let us be clear,
because clearly this is a girl.
- Psst.
[clears throat]
[screeching]
[snarl]
[raspberry]
- [responds in Wyvernese]
- [Wyvernese continues]
- [speaking Wyvernese]
- Tragic tale.
She is indeed a wyvern.
Born to the water,
and for ages she lived
peacefully in its cool depths
until one day a cunning man
lured her to the banks
and when she stepped out of the
water,
she shed her dragon skin
and became human
and in that moment the thief
stole her dragon skin
and vanished into the lake.
And without her skin,
well, she's trapped inside
this hideous body.
Dwight: I mean,
I wouldn't say hideous.
Hexela: She wants her skin
back, Your Highness.
- Why is she looking at me?
- The thief came
from the castle.
- The thief and the
dragon skin are long gone.
- [speaking Wyvernese]
Hexela: [translating]
I want to go home.
I am lost in this world where
everything is strange.
All that I was and all that I
know was taken from me,
and no human soul cares.
- I care.
I mean, what-- what kind of
world are we living in, huh?
One where a wyvern dragon girl
can't step out of the water
without getting her skin stolen.
Balrdic: Hear, hear.
- This won't stand.
An attack on one of us is an
attack on all of us
and it must be answered.
- Spoken with valor.
- So then, Sir Dwight,
you are pledged to this quest.
- Uh, I would need a few more
details before I commit.
- Fopdoodle.
- I'm in.
And that's still not a word.
Baldric: What say you, Highnes?
Shall we aid in this cause?
And be rid of this pest at last?
- Tell the wyvern
we will find her skin
and restore her to her home.
- [speaking Wyvernese]
[wall rumbling]
She comes from a lake
deep in the woods.
A lake shaped like a crescent.
- Did you say crescent?
- I did.
There's something
I must show you.
- Is this-- This is my map!
- What?
Oh, [snort]
How careless of me.
- You sticky fingered,
little sneak thief.
- I beg your pardon, sir?
- How did you get this?
- You gave it to me, Baldric.
- When I was bewitched
no doubt.
- As a token of your love.
Dwight: Okay, when
do I get to hear this story?
- Not now.
We are on a quest.
But know this, witch,
we are watching your every mo.
- Ooh.
I certainly hope so, Baldric.
Now, this is a map--
Baldric: Of the woods,
Your Highness,
in particular
of the Dark Realm.
- The what?
- It's where dark forces dwell
and should not be disturbed.
- 'Kay.
- Behold.
- The crescent lake.
Dwight: It looks like
a croissant.
♪
This map is a joke.
- Let me see.
So, if the Great Oak Tree
is there,
then the fairy ring would
have been right about here.
- Those are not helpful
landmarks.
- I wouldn't rely too heavily
on this map.
- Oh, you're saying this now.
Baldric: I'll go gather wood
for the fire.
- What fire?
You'll burn the forest down.
- We must make camp before dark.
- No, nobody's camping.
We've got school tomorrow.
- You have an absurd obsession
with school.
- And you have more
unexcused absences
than the rest of the student
body combined.
- [raspberry]
Cornswaggle.
Wyvern: [snarl]
- Could be searching these
woods for months, years even.
Quests are notoriously
long affairs.
- Where are you going?
- I'm done stompin' around the
woods like a freakin' hobbit.
This is my quest.
I'm doing this my way.
- Wait.
Dwight: Now this is a map.
Gretta: Make it bigger.
Make it smaller.
Make it bigger.
Make it smaller.
Make it bigger.
Make it smaller--
- Stop.
Woods, woods, woods, woods.
No sign of a lake shaped like
a crescent roll.
- A crescent moon.
- Yeah, that works too, I guess.
So if I zoom out.
- There!
- That's Woodside Lake
right here in town.
No, it can't be it.
It's not gonna be shaped
like a crescent.
More like a breadstick.
- If that's the lake it
means--
- It can't be.
Woodside Lake is man-made.
- You're certain?
- There's one way to know
for sure.
[phone ringing]
- You must be Dwight.
- Thank you for taking the
time to meet with us, Mr. Dale.
- Sure thing.
- This is Gretta and...
- Winnifreda.
- Winnie, for short.
So, we have a couple questions
about when Woodside
was first built.
- Well, it's nice to see our
young people taking an interest
in local history.
- Our survival depends on it.
Dwight: We're doing a group
project for school.
It's kind of a killer, you know?
- Oh.
Dwight: So, you were the
original city planner
for Woodside, right?
- Coming up on 20 years ago.
This area was nothing but
woods and more woods back then.
Winnifreda: [snarling]
[splashing]
- Dory!
- Oh.
No, no, drop, drop.
Let it go.
So sorry about that.
Winnie has a, um,
mercury deficiency,
and it's a real thing, you know?
- What of the Crescent Lake?
- Uh, hm?
- Woodside Lake,
did you work on that?
- Oh, nothing to work on.
That lake's been there
since the dawn of time.
- This lake, right here?
- Yeah, we just cleared
the trees
and built the town around it.
Twenty percent of the homes
in Woodside have a lake view.
- You fools, you have tampered
with dark powers
that will be your undoing!
- You know, that's nothing to
worry about.
She's kind of a drama queen.
Thank you for your time.
- [chirp]
[romantic music]
♪
- Oh, here's a juicy story
about the bailiff
and a local silk thrower.
- Another time.
- When did you become
such a lovelfubble?
- Make yourself useful,
madam, or be off.
- As you wish.
- Wait.
A young maid tormented the
royal family day and night
with hisses and snarls.
- Sounds like our girl.
When was this?
- [mumbling]
Oh, strange.
- [sniff]
Gretta: Ah!
- What's amiss?
- We are undone!
Dwight: I'm pretty sure
you're just overreacting.
- Make haste.
We must fly.
- From what danger?
- We found the dark realm.
- Where?
Gretta: Here!
This village was built
on its bones.
- Sorry.
Hexela: Then the
Crescent Lake is--
Gretta: There!
Not a furlong away.
- I bathe in that lake.
- Ew.
- Take only what Sir Dwight
can carry.
- Oof!
I'm not goin' anywhere!
Gretta: Before we flee,
we must warn the villagers.
- They brought desolation
upon themselves
when they disturbed
the dark realm.
- [snarling]
- Ow!
What was that for?
- [growling]
Gretta: It's your own fault
for taking in a wild animal.
Dwight: She's not wild,
she's just--
- [ravenous chomping]
- Hungry.
Hexela: Baldric, don't go.
- I'm sorry, Hexela.
But a relationship must be
founded on more
than lies, treachery, and a loe
potion slipped into my ale.
- Okay, now
can I hear this story?
Hexela: [laughing]
My adorable Baldric,
you misunderstand me.
- I do?
Hexela: The evil that dwells
here cannot rise
unless it is summoned.
And you and I both know there
are very few who can do that.
But if they come--
- Someone must stop them.
Winnifreda: [burps loudly]
Baldric: [coughing]
Well, now we know what the
inside of a dragon smells like.
- [gnashing teeth]
- Okay, back to Winnie's skin.
[thud]
- You found the Crescent Lake.
Now you have only to draw the
thief up from its depths.
- How?
- With a love song.
[sighs]
As legend goes,
the wyvern will rise to the
surface and even leave the watr
when it hears its mating call.
But this is a delicate dance
of love that can take months.
The hopeful suitor must often
stand on every bank,
night after night,
hoping its call will reach
the ears of its wyvern mate.
- Who's got time for that?
Here you go, Winnie.
Sing your heart out.
- [speaking Wyvernese]
- [responding in Wyvernese]
- 'Kay.
- [singing in Wyvernese]
- [singing in Wyvernese]
- It appears Winnie's
been pestering your family
for centuries before
you were born.
She turns up in
historical accounts
as far back as
King Fergus the Lost.
- What?
- King Fergus the Lost!
- [blows raspberry]
[splashing and bubbling]
- Hide!
Hide.
- Winnie!
Sing, sing!
[imitates screeching]
- [Wyvernese singing resumes]
- [Wyvernese singing resumes]
[growling]
[singing continues]
- The dragon skin!
- Okay, guys, let's do this.
Okay, I'm goin' now.
Keep him busy.
- [singing ends]
- I pray thee, sing on.
Mine ears could drink
of your voice
'til time itself
was lost in song.
You are as beautiful as a
night sky filled with stars.
- Hold, Highness.
This is no common thief.
[snapping twig]
Baldric: King Fergus the Lost.
- Who-- How?
Fergus: You mistake, sir.
They call me King Fergus
the Mighty.
Baldric: Yes, but they changed
it after your disappearance.
- Fergus the Lost.
- Mhm.
Fergus: Makes me sound--
Dwight: [gagging]
- Misplaced.
Dwight: Winnie!
Wi--Winnie!
[groans in disgust]
- [delighted screeching]
[splashing]
♪
- Oh.
[thud]
[clanging]
Dwight: No!
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
Parks and Rec will be
all over us.
Fergus: No! No!
[gasping]
Baldric: Your majesty.
It is a new day.
Gretta: So my great, great
grandfather is a thief?
- Fourth great.
- And a fine mess you left
for the rest of us.
You realize that wyvern has
tormented our family
for four generations.
- Besides the fact that stealing
somebody's skin is just wrong.
- It was the title.
King Fergus the Mighty.
When I was a younger man,
it suited me well.
But as I grew older,
my body turned traitor.
My youth and vigor abandoned
me, what else was I to do but--
- Steal a dragon skin?
Hm hm.
I understand the
temptation, dear,
but stealing from dragons
never works out.
Dwight: Why?
- They're sensitive beasts.
With long memories.
- No, no.
No, I mean why steal
a dragon's skin?
Baldric: Because dragons live
forever.
Fergus: Indeed they do.
But it's not as grand
as it sounds.
I had no way of knowing
before this,
but the life of a wyvern
is dull.
It's very dull.
And this, oh, how I've
missed this!
The feeling of the earth
beneath my feet!
The wind in my beard!
I haven't felt this good
in an age!
[crick]
Ow, ow.
Baldric: Easy, easy.
Whither are you bound, majesty?
- Oh, I still have one or two
more adventures in me.
You know, when I was a boy,
I dreamed of being a bandit.
Perhaps I'll try my hand
at that.
- Still doin' the family proud.
Baldric: An excellent notion,
the woods are vast,
filled with danger, and spoil.
- [shouting] Fare thee well!
Gretta: [exhaling sharply]
Your first quest complete.
- Yeah, who's the fopdoodle now?
[grunts]
So, what is so bad about
a dark realm?
You know what, never mind.
Never mind.
The answer is in the question.
But you guys are staying, right?
Baldric: We will guard
the Dark Realm.
- Though it may cost our lives.
- But it probably won't.
Right?
Hexela: What's buried here
must stay buried.
[Renaissance rock music]
♪
♪
♪