DuckTales (2017–…): Season 1, Episode 5 - Terror of the Terra-Firmians! - full transcript
The kids explore an eerie abandoned subway tunnel.
Oh, man, that is classic cinema.
So good!
Oh, and remember when the surgeon
tried to cut the mole queen in half
but then she multiplied
into a million mole babies
and then they ate him?
Aah!
You said this was an educational film.
Suitable for all ages.
Uh, it's a cautionary tale
about the dangers of mole monsters.
And everyone could use a lesson
on chainsaw safety.
Lame!
Where was the drama, the heart,
the needlessly expensive
car crash mayhem?
Even if mole men did exist,
why attack someone in the shower?
With the water running there wouldn't be
enough traction to attack
anyone above the knee.
Totally phony.
What is with you guys?
It says right on the poster:
Based on an actual true novel.
This is the only book I trust.
If it's not in the Junior
Woodchuck guidebook,
then it's not a thing.
What about were-ducks?
- Nope.
- Tri-clopses?
- Not a thing.
- Well, what about
the legendary
Terra-firmians of Duckburg?
Let's see.
Pterodactyl, terror-dactyl,
terrible twos.
Nope. No Terra-firmians.
Must not exist.
What? Terra-firmians,
the mythical underground race
that live below our very city?
No. That's ridiculous.
No, you're ridiculous.
Children, children,
there's an easy way to settle this.
Let's go find them ourselves.
Ahem.
You evil! Evil!
You took the form of a poster.
You won't get Launchpad!
Stop, Launchpad. No!
It's just an ad.
That's exactly what the sheriff told
those reckless teens.
_
Wait, shouldn't we tell
someone where we're going
before we blindly explore a network
of dark and abandoned subway tunnels?
- We're heading down into the subway.
- We'll be fine.
- Okay, don't wait up.
- Ah, much better.
I apologize for my associate.
You can bill McDuck
Enterprises for the poster.
Uh, what about the
damages to the men's room?
The men's room?
They come up through the toilet.
Anyone could be a mole monster. Anyone.
Could be him or her or that baby.
Even him.
All right, let's go before
anything else happens.
Wait, where are Huey
and Webby and... Lena?
Hmm. Now what's behind here?
The old 818 train line.
Famous for Terra-firmian sightings.
That's why it's closed off.
The signs say "closed for renovations."
That's what they want you to think.
Who is they?
Exactly.
What?
Well, we can't not go in at this point.
Hello?!
These old tunnels.
You can hear train
vibrations from miles away.
That was no subway train.
The Terra-firmians are an ancient race
built of two warring tribes.
The Terries and the Firmies.
They were once united
under a proud king.
After the king's untimely death,
an epic battle began over
who would assume control.
But one day the rightful prince
will reunite the two tribes
and put an end to their bitter conflict.
And what's that?
Oh, just a drawing
of a candy I wish they made.
- Webbi-dings.
- And that?
Me as a superhero.
Look, can we just focus
on all the exciting stuff I just said?
So these Terra thingies
are responsible for that tremor?
According to the JWG,
earthquakes are
shifting tectonic plates.
Science fact.
No reason for any of us to go in there.
The book knows everything.
Did the book know I was gonna do that?
Hmm.
Oh, I can't wait to meet
a real Terra-firmian!
I'm totally gonna sacrifice myself
in the name of the rebellion.
Oh, and then I can
hunt down your attackers
- and avenge your death.
- Aww!
That's sweet. There!
Claw marks!
Proof they were here.
Even better!
The tremors exposed
three kinds of rock.
Schist, marble, and gneiss.
Ooh, do I spy some shale?
How is that better than subway monsters?
'Cause my thing's real.
How can you dismiss
this after all the stuff
we've seen with Mr. McDuck?
Most of that is actually
logged in the guidebook.
Even the headless man-horse?
It's a big book. Anything
new, I add myself.
Now help me with the shale rock.
Need it for my geology badge.
Why don't you ask your best friend,
the guidebook, to help you?
Oh, wait, you can't. It's a book.
"How to properly handle
rock samples in the field."
Hmm. Ahem. Mm-hmm.
What was that?
Um, after you.
Terra-firmian!
Sorry, couldn't resist.
Just more subway junk.
Now, if you're all done,
I have some rock samples to collect.
Aah!
Oh! Hey, watch it!
Louie?
Granny?
Aah! Those are moles!
Launchpad, it's just the guys.
Uh, you would say that.
Have there always been three of them?
I can explain.
You are all in big trouble.
I assume this was your idea.
Sure, blame the mysterious rebel
playing by her own rules.
No back talk! You made me come
all the way down here,
drag two more children
and one man-child right into danger.
Man-child? Where?
Easy, LP. Easy.
One monster at a time.
Aren't you supposed to
be crazy adventure family?
This is like an afternoon
field trip for you people.
Well, there won't be anymore
afternoon field trips for you.
I can assure you that.
Granny, Lena didn't mean to...
Terra-firmians!
Naturally occurring tectonic shifts!
Splendid. We're stuck.
It looks like the only
safe way out of here
is to get this train moving.
Launchpad, get to the control room.
No, Mrs. B. I can't
leave you alone with...
I mean, uh...
I don't know if I can.
I've never crashed a train before.
Well, maybe you can drive the train
without crashing it.
Huh?
Just get to the control room
and see what you can do.
Fine. Hey, Dewey, come with me.
I need someone to help
me for some reason.
Just in case.
I'm going to the rear to see if I can
detach us from the cave in.
You, with me.
You've caused us enough grief.
Aye aye, Colonel Crumpet.
We'll stay here and be on the
lookout for Terra-firmians.
It must be about halftime
at The Great Games,
so it'll be easier to spot one.
Okay.
Just stay put.
After you help us get out of here
you're never seeing Webby again.
Ugh, okay, lady,
you are real bad at asking for help.
Please talk some sense into Webby.
You don't really believe
that rock monsters
are playing earthquake games.
Huey's usually right about nerd stuff.
Not this time. Those aftershocks
are actually a revolt
led by the lost Terra-firmian prince.
He's using the games as a distraction
to storm the Califermy Citadel!
It's all in this artist rendering.
Ooh, that all sounds awesome.
I want that to be true.
Earthquakes are a result
of shifting tectonic plates.
But who's pushing the plates, Huey?
Who's pushing the plates?!
Other plates are pushing the plates.
Now who sounds ridiculous?
Louie, whose side are you on?
Oh, neither. This is just
way more entertaining than that movie.
What? I got a refill on the way out.
It's encouraged.
Hmm, probably just some left
over rubble from the cave in.
I'm coming, Your Highness!
Webby, no!
Please, it's not safe!
Oh, this could be it.
This could be the prince.
This could be... a rock?
Oh, see? Just a boulder
from the cave in.
Can we go back inside
before we're crushed?
No. Just because this is only a rock
doesn't mean there aren't
Terra-firmians still out there.
So we're supposed to examine
every rock in this tunnel?
That actually sounds pretty fun.
Wait, that's not the point!
Looking good, Tea Time. Keep it up.
...to an accurate analysis,
would be impossible.
This would go a lot faster
if you would give me a hand.
Well, the sooner I
help you, the sooner I
never get to see my friends again, so...
Ugh.
Want me to go get
one of the more
trustworthy kids to help,
or am I still not
allowed to talk to them?
Do not mouth off to me.
It's your fault we're in this mess.
Who raised you, anyway?
I know a bad influence when I see one.
Those are good children
with bright futures.
Yeah? And what does that make me?
I don't know.
If you're gonna vandalize,
at least do it right.
So, Dew, it's nice down here, huh?
Kinda natural for you.
Know what I like?
Dirt. Dirt's pretty cool and comfy, huh?
No grass to eat without dirt.
- I guess.
- But I hate the sun.
Not into that.
Gets into your beady, little eyes.
Makes everything all hot.
Plus, it makes it a lot
harder to possess people.
No, thanks. Am I right?
Launchpad, do you think
I'm a mole monster?
What? No, no.
Can't believe my best
friend is a mole monster.
I'm your best friend?
Oh, no, it can hear my thoughts.
Keep it together, Launchpad.
Gotta change the subject somehow.
Hey, you know what we should talk about?
- Another subject.
- Sure.
He doesn't suspect a thing.
- I say one thing.
- You have a very
- active imagination, Webby.
- You are ridiculous!
But this is a rock.
Not a Terra-something.
A stupid rock!
That suddenly disappeared.
Ooh, nice twist.
Um, anything could've
happened to that rock.
- Could've rolled off.
- Rolled off up?
And out of this dent?
I don't think so.
Uh, maybe it disintegrated
or a sudden wormhole.
They're always good for an
unexplained disappearance.
Or we could all be seeing things
because of a methane gas leak.
Let me check the JWG.
Are we all seeing that?
That? That's, uh,
sparks from faulty wiring.
Or maybe a crazed sewer
killer with a flashlight?
And I'm still not counting
out a methane gas leak.
Not everything is a methane gas leak!
- It's gone.
- Oh, that's way creepier.
Aah! My eyes.
Aah! I knew it. Mole man!
Everything I've ever
seen in a movie is real!
Launchpad, let me in!
Not on your life, mole man.
Hmm. I suppose you're
good for something.
Ugh, don't hurt yourself with
the compliments, Abbey Road.
- I'm just trying to help.
- All right, I've had it
up to here with your horrid behavior!
Come on!
This can't be happening!
Down here!
Aah!
- Aah!
- Oh!
Phew! Crashed it.
Back, mole monster!
You can't take me, too!
Mr. McD won't give me the time off!
Launchpad, it's me, Dewey.
Aah!
Your best friend?
They could be anyone.
They are everywhere.
Yes, anyone could be a mole monster
in the movie. This is real life.
Classic mole monster
saying he's "not" a mole monster.
Ugh! By that logic how do you know
you're not a mole monster?
'Cause I'm not.
Which is exactly what a
mole monster would say.
Wait, am I a mole monster?
But I'm a good guy.
Then that means mole monsters
can also be good guys.
Come, mole brother.
This is a new day for our people.
We will show the world
that we can be good.
Leave her, Lena.
She'll never trust you.
She's keeping you from them.
Leave her and we'll be better off.
Aah!
You.
Yeah, me. Let's go.
- Huey!
- Where are you?
Huey?!
Huey, come on. We gotta go!
Can't. Need to stay near the light.
I can still see. The
Junior Woodchuck guidebook
says I'm statistically safer this way.
If you stay here you'll be crushed.
At least I'll know what's crushing me.
Who knows what's out there.
We know what's out there.
Terra-firmians!
But if they're real,
then what other crazy things
are out there just waiting
for me in the dark?
The only way to know
is to find out together.
Uh, okay, I didn't see that coming.
Really came together in the third act.
Mm.
Everyone here? Everyone okay?
Oh, yeah. We're A-okay.
Just a couple of
normal non-monster folk
eager to help out.
A way out?
There's a way out!
Huey, wait!
Aah!
Huh?
I told you they were real.
He must be the prince.
And the others are his rebel force.
They must've gotten trapped down here.
This must be the prince
of the bill-faced
creatures of the land above.
And the others are his rebel force.
I told you they were real.
Huey!
Boop.
That was interesting.
We still need to find a way out.
Look!
They smashed us an exit.
Thank you, fellow underground creatures.
Sorry I doubted you.
I'm proud of you, Huey.
Facing your fears,
embracing the unknown...
And... loved it! No longer unknown.
They exist. Science fact.
That feels so much better.
Ugh.
I really could get
used to being down here.
I love being a mole monster!
Launchpad, you are not a mole monster.
Oh, well, all right. Makes sense.
Why didn't you leave the big purple one?
She's getting in the way of our plans.
Lena.
Listen, dear, I may have
been a bit quick to judge you.
Would you like to join us
at the mansion for pancakes?
Now, when you say "pancakes"
do you mean like actual pancakes
or English muffins
covered in maple syrup?
I mean actual pancakes.
Then yes.
Lena, you're welcome
at the mansion any time.
That's why.
Gotta play the long game.
Hey, wait up!
So good!
Oh, and remember when the surgeon
tried to cut the mole queen in half
but then she multiplied
into a million mole babies
and then they ate him?
Aah!
You said this was an educational film.
Suitable for all ages.
Uh, it's a cautionary tale
about the dangers of mole monsters.
And everyone could use a lesson
on chainsaw safety.
Lame!
Where was the drama, the heart,
the needlessly expensive
car crash mayhem?
Even if mole men did exist,
why attack someone in the shower?
With the water running there wouldn't be
enough traction to attack
anyone above the knee.
Totally phony.
What is with you guys?
It says right on the poster:
Based on an actual true novel.
This is the only book I trust.
If it's not in the Junior
Woodchuck guidebook,
then it's not a thing.
What about were-ducks?
- Nope.
- Tri-clopses?
- Not a thing.
- Well, what about
the legendary
Terra-firmians of Duckburg?
Let's see.
Pterodactyl, terror-dactyl,
terrible twos.
Nope. No Terra-firmians.
Must not exist.
What? Terra-firmians,
the mythical underground race
that live below our very city?
No. That's ridiculous.
No, you're ridiculous.
Children, children,
there's an easy way to settle this.
Let's go find them ourselves.
Ahem.
You evil! Evil!
You took the form of a poster.
You won't get Launchpad!
Stop, Launchpad. No!
It's just an ad.
That's exactly what the sheriff told
those reckless teens.
_
Wait, shouldn't we tell
someone where we're going
before we blindly explore a network
of dark and abandoned subway tunnels?
- We're heading down into the subway.
- We'll be fine.
- Okay, don't wait up.
- Ah, much better.
I apologize for my associate.
You can bill McDuck
Enterprises for the poster.
Uh, what about the
damages to the men's room?
The men's room?
They come up through the toilet.
Anyone could be a mole monster. Anyone.
Could be him or her or that baby.
Even him.
All right, let's go before
anything else happens.
Wait, where are Huey
and Webby and... Lena?
Hmm. Now what's behind here?
The old 818 train line.
Famous for Terra-firmian sightings.
That's why it's closed off.
The signs say "closed for renovations."
That's what they want you to think.
Who is they?
Exactly.
What?
Well, we can't not go in at this point.
Hello?!
These old tunnels.
You can hear train
vibrations from miles away.
That was no subway train.
The Terra-firmians are an ancient race
built of two warring tribes.
The Terries and the Firmies.
They were once united
under a proud king.
After the king's untimely death,
an epic battle began over
who would assume control.
But one day the rightful prince
will reunite the two tribes
and put an end to their bitter conflict.
And what's that?
Oh, just a drawing
of a candy I wish they made.
- Webbi-dings.
- And that?
Me as a superhero.
Look, can we just focus
on all the exciting stuff I just said?
So these Terra thingies
are responsible for that tremor?
According to the JWG,
earthquakes are
shifting tectonic plates.
Science fact.
No reason for any of us to go in there.
The book knows everything.
Did the book know I was gonna do that?
Hmm.
Oh, I can't wait to meet
a real Terra-firmian!
I'm totally gonna sacrifice myself
in the name of the rebellion.
Oh, and then I can
hunt down your attackers
- and avenge your death.
- Aww!
That's sweet. There!
Claw marks!
Proof they were here.
Even better!
The tremors exposed
three kinds of rock.
Schist, marble, and gneiss.
Ooh, do I spy some shale?
How is that better than subway monsters?
'Cause my thing's real.
How can you dismiss
this after all the stuff
we've seen with Mr. McDuck?
Most of that is actually
logged in the guidebook.
Even the headless man-horse?
It's a big book. Anything
new, I add myself.
Now help me with the shale rock.
Need it for my geology badge.
Why don't you ask your best friend,
the guidebook, to help you?
Oh, wait, you can't. It's a book.
"How to properly handle
rock samples in the field."
Hmm. Ahem. Mm-hmm.
What was that?
Um, after you.
Terra-firmian!
Sorry, couldn't resist.
Just more subway junk.
Now, if you're all done,
I have some rock samples to collect.
Aah!
Oh! Hey, watch it!
Louie?
Granny?
Aah! Those are moles!
Launchpad, it's just the guys.
Uh, you would say that.
Have there always been three of them?
I can explain.
You are all in big trouble.
I assume this was your idea.
Sure, blame the mysterious rebel
playing by her own rules.
No back talk! You made me come
all the way down here,
drag two more children
and one man-child right into danger.
Man-child? Where?
Easy, LP. Easy.
One monster at a time.
Aren't you supposed to
be crazy adventure family?
This is like an afternoon
field trip for you people.
Well, there won't be anymore
afternoon field trips for you.
I can assure you that.
Granny, Lena didn't mean to...
Terra-firmians!
Naturally occurring tectonic shifts!
Splendid. We're stuck.
It looks like the only
safe way out of here
is to get this train moving.
Launchpad, get to the control room.
No, Mrs. B. I can't
leave you alone with...
I mean, uh...
I don't know if I can.
I've never crashed a train before.
Well, maybe you can drive the train
without crashing it.
Huh?
Just get to the control room
and see what you can do.
Fine. Hey, Dewey, come with me.
I need someone to help
me for some reason.
Just in case.
I'm going to the rear to see if I can
detach us from the cave in.
You, with me.
You've caused us enough grief.
Aye aye, Colonel Crumpet.
We'll stay here and be on the
lookout for Terra-firmians.
It must be about halftime
at The Great Games,
so it'll be easier to spot one.
Okay.
Just stay put.
After you help us get out of here
you're never seeing Webby again.
Ugh, okay, lady,
you are real bad at asking for help.
Please talk some sense into Webby.
You don't really believe
that rock monsters
are playing earthquake games.
Huey's usually right about nerd stuff.
Not this time. Those aftershocks
are actually a revolt
led by the lost Terra-firmian prince.
He's using the games as a distraction
to storm the Califermy Citadel!
It's all in this artist rendering.
Ooh, that all sounds awesome.
I want that to be true.
Earthquakes are a result
of shifting tectonic plates.
But who's pushing the plates, Huey?
Who's pushing the plates?!
Other plates are pushing the plates.
Now who sounds ridiculous?
Louie, whose side are you on?
Oh, neither. This is just
way more entertaining than that movie.
What? I got a refill on the way out.
It's encouraged.
Hmm, probably just some left
over rubble from the cave in.
I'm coming, Your Highness!
Webby, no!
Please, it's not safe!
Oh, this could be it.
This could be the prince.
This could be... a rock?
Oh, see? Just a boulder
from the cave in.
Can we go back inside
before we're crushed?
No. Just because this is only a rock
doesn't mean there aren't
Terra-firmians still out there.
So we're supposed to examine
every rock in this tunnel?
That actually sounds pretty fun.
Wait, that's not the point!
Looking good, Tea Time. Keep it up.
...to an accurate analysis,
would be impossible.
This would go a lot faster
if you would give me a hand.
Well, the sooner I
help you, the sooner I
never get to see my friends again, so...
Ugh.
Want me to go get
one of the more
trustworthy kids to help,
or am I still not
allowed to talk to them?
Do not mouth off to me.
It's your fault we're in this mess.
Who raised you, anyway?
I know a bad influence when I see one.
Those are good children
with bright futures.
Yeah? And what does that make me?
I don't know.
If you're gonna vandalize,
at least do it right.
So, Dew, it's nice down here, huh?
Kinda natural for you.
Know what I like?
Dirt. Dirt's pretty cool and comfy, huh?
No grass to eat without dirt.
- I guess.
- But I hate the sun.
Not into that.
Gets into your beady, little eyes.
Makes everything all hot.
Plus, it makes it a lot
harder to possess people.
No, thanks. Am I right?
Launchpad, do you think
I'm a mole monster?
What? No, no.
Can't believe my best
friend is a mole monster.
I'm your best friend?
Oh, no, it can hear my thoughts.
Keep it together, Launchpad.
Gotta change the subject somehow.
Hey, you know what we should talk about?
- Another subject.
- Sure.
He doesn't suspect a thing.
- I say one thing.
- You have a very
- active imagination, Webby.
- You are ridiculous!
But this is a rock.
Not a Terra-something.
A stupid rock!
That suddenly disappeared.
Ooh, nice twist.
Um, anything could've
happened to that rock.
- Could've rolled off.
- Rolled off up?
And out of this dent?
I don't think so.
Uh, maybe it disintegrated
or a sudden wormhole.
They're always good for an
unexplained disappearance.
Or we could all be seeing things
because of a methane gas leak.
Let me check the JWG.
Are we all seeing that?
That? That's, uh,
sparks from faulty wiring.
Or maybe a crazed sewer
killer with a flashlight?
And I'm still not counting
out a methane gas leak.
Not everything is a methane gas leak!
- It's gone.
- Oh, that's way creepier.
Aah! My eyes.
Aah! I knew it. Mole man!
Everything I've ever
seen in a movie is real!
Launchpad, let me in!
Not on your life, mole man.
Hmm. I suppose you're
good for something.
Ugh, don't hurt yourself with
the compliments, Abbey Road.
- I'm just trying to help.
- All right, I've had it
up to here with your horrid behavior!
Come on!
This can't be happening!
Down here!
Aah!
- Aah!
- Oh!
Phew! Crashed it.
Back, mole monster!
You can't take me, too!
Mr. McD won't give me the time off!
Launchpad, it's me, Dewey.
Aah!
Your best friend?
They could be anyone.
They are everywhere.
Yes, anyone could be a mole monster
in the movie. This is real life.
Classic mole monster
saying he's "not" a mole monster.
Ugh! By that logic how do you know
you're not a mole monster?
'Cause I'm not.
Which is exactly what a
mole monster would say.
Wait, am I a mole monster?
But I'm a good guy.
Then that means mole monsters
can also be good guys.
Come, mole brother.
This is a new day for our people.
We will show the world
that we can be good.
Leave her, Lena.
She'll never trust you.
She's keeping you from them.
Leave her and we'll be better off.
Aah!
You.
Yeah, me. Let's go.
- Huey!
- Where are you?
Huey?!
Huey, come on. We gotta go!
Can't. Need to stay near the light.
I can still see. The
Junior Woodchuck guidebook
says I'm statistically safer this way.
If you stay here you'll be crushed.
At least I'll know what's crushing me.
Who knows what's out there.
We know what's out there.
Terra-firmians!
But if they're real,
then what other crazy things
are out there just waiting
for me in the dark?
The only way to know
is to find out together.
Uh, okay, I didn't see that coming.
Really came together in the third act.
Mm.
Everyone here? Everyone okay?
Oh, yeah. We're A-okay.
Just a couple of
normal non-monster folk
eager to help out.
A way out?
There's a way out!
Huey, wait!
Aah!
Huh?
I told you they were real.
He must be the prince.
And the others are his rebel force.
They must've gotten trapped down here.
This must be the prince
of the bill-faced
creatures of the land above.
And the others are his rebel force.
I told you they were real.
Huey!
Boop.
That was interesting.
We still need to find a way out.
Look!
They smashed us an exit.
Thank you, fellow underground creatures.
Sorry I doubted you.
I'm proud of you, Huey.
Facing your fears,
embracing the unknown...
And... loved it! No longer unknown.
They exist. Science fact.
That feels so much better.
Ugh.
I really could get
used to being down here.
I love being a mole monster!
Launchpad, you are not a mole monster.
Oh, well, all right. Makes sense.
Why didn't you leave the big purple one?
She's getting in the way of our plans.
Lena.
Listen, dear, I may have
been a bit quick to judge you.
Would you like to join us
at the mansion for pancakes?
Now, when you say "pancakes"
do you mean like actual pancakes
or English muffins
covered in maple syrup?
I mean actual pancakes.
Then yes.
Lena, you're welcome
at the mansion any time.
That's why.
Gotta play the long game.
Hey, wait up!