Drop Dead Diva (2009–2014): Season 6, Episode 1 - Truth & Consequences - full transcript

See that aspiring model there?

That's me... Deb...
Until the day I died.

I thought I'd go straight to heaven,

but there was a bit of a mix-up,

and I woke up in someone else's body.

[ Screams ]

So now I'm Jane,

a super-busy lawyer
with my very own assistant.

I got a new life, a new wardrobe,

and the only people who really
know what's going on with me

are my girlfriend Stacy
and my guardian angel, Paul.



I used to think everything
happened for a reason.

Whoo!
[ Laughs ]

Now, I sure hope I was right.

Drop Dead Diva 6x01 - 6x02
- Truth & Consequences - Soulmates -
Original air date March 23, 2014

Previously on "Drop Dead Diva"...

Oh, hi.

I thought you were someone else.

It's me... the real Jane.

And I want my life back.

Owen, suppose this gets serious
and then we break up.

I don't want my child

to be around parents
who don't get along.

[ Voice breaking ]
So for the sake of the baby,

we need to break up.



I understand.

Elaine is dying.

I... I realize she's not
really my mom, you know?

But...

Right now that just doesn't matter.

Grayson.

Oh.

That's just great.

My mom dies, and you don't even
have the decency to let me know,

and then I find you out here
making out with him.

I... I'm so sorry.

Jane, what's going on?

Why don't you tell him?

Tell me what?

Jane isn't really who you think she is.

Who is she?

Why don't you ask her?

[ Thud ]

[ Clattering ]

[ Grunts ]

Sweetie, it's 5:00 A.M. are you okay?

Yeah, just rearranging the kitchen.

You know, I've always thought
that the spatulas

were too far from the stove.

And did you know
that we have seven ladles?

Jane, I've watched enough "Dr. Drew"

to know that those ladles
are a distraction

from thinking
about your mom passing away.

Do you want to talk?

I can make us some tea, which we
no longer keep in that cupboard.

I'm devastated about Elaine,
but this isn't about Elaine.

[ Scoffs ]
This is about Grayson.

What?

We kissed.

- Really?
- It was amazing.

But in the middle of the kiss,
Brittany shows up.

- And who's Brittany?
- Old Jane.

She heard that her mom died
and completely unloaded on me

for not telling her
that Elaine was sick.

And then she tells Grayson
that I'm not who he thinks I am.

[ Gasps ]

Ladies, can you please
turn out the lights?

If I don't get my eight hours,
I... I'm useless.

Paul, clearly in crisis mode.

Mm, here.
Use my extra-plush eye pillow...

Keeps the light out,
minimizes crow's-feet.

[ Sighs ]

Mm. Thank you.

Carry on.

So, what happened next?

Brittany took off, and before I
had a chance to talk to Grayson,

he raced after her. My God.

It's like my whole life
was leading up to this kiss.

You know? And now I'm terrified

of what else Brittany might have said.

Oh, sweetie.

You know what?

I just need to find Grayson

convince him that Brittany is crazy...

Yeah.

...and that we are destined
to live happily ever after.

Well, you're really good
at convincing people of things.

Remember when you convinced me

that a Brazilian wax wouldn't hurt?

F.Y.I... you were wrong.

Yeah, well...

It was bikini season. It had to be done.

Okay, so, I'm gonna take
a shower and head to work early

so I'll already be at the office
when Grayson gets in.

Jane.

Hey.

I'm really sorry about your mother.

Thanks.

Why are you in Grayson's office,

looking at a photo
of his dead girlfriend?

Um...

Oh, um...

[ Chuckling ] W... why...
Why are you here so early?

[ Chuckles ]

Well, it's kind of hard to sleep
when I'm the managing partner

and Kim is still on maternity leave.

- Right.
- That... that being said,

if you need some time...

Thanks. I really appreciate that.

It actually kind of helps
to focus on work.

- Sure. Your pro Bono case.
- What?

You got an intake this morning.

Make sure the client
fills out all the forms

so that the firm
gets credit with the bar.

Yes, I will.
[ Chuckles ]

Well, I should go, um...

...prep for that meeting.
[ Chuckles ]

I need your help, Ms. Bingum.

I... I got your name
from the legal aid website.

Okay, so, you are the lunch
lady at South Oak Elementary,

and you're claiming the school district

is not feeding hungry kids?

The superintendent raised
the eligibility criteria,

which cut 56 needy children
from the hot lunch program.

Well, that doesn't seem right.

These kids live below the poverty line.

When they come to me for food,

it... it breaks my heart to say no.

But if I feed them, I'm in
violation of school policy.

Right.

Okay. So, what can I do?

I need you to represent these students.

There's a school-board meeting at 11:00.

11:00 today?

I thought the superintendent
would come to his senses.

I've written e-mails.
I've called his office.

But he's completely ignored me.

Yeah, well, he won't
be able to ignore me.

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Owen, I just put the most
handsome client in your office.

I don't have anything on the books.

He said he didn't need an appointment...

That Dudley do-right would
always make time for him?

- Oh, no.
- Should I call security?

I could cuff him myself,
take him back to my place

for a house arrest
and a little light feather play?

No. No, Teri. Uh, it's fine.

Thank you.

[ Sighs ]

Charlie, what are you doing here?

Nice digs.

I really should have become a lawyer.

Yeah, yeah, that was the plan
until you pocketed the deposit

that I gave you for your tuition,

defaulted on the student loans
that I co-signed for,

and then partied
across the world for a decade.

Hell of a ride.

Ran with the bulls in Pamplona,
stomped grapes in Bordeaux,

climbed a glacier in Iceland...

And by glacier,
I mean a girl named Helga.

Seriously, you should have
joined me on this trip.

Why are you here?

Can't a guy visit his older brother?

I haven't seen you in 12 years.
Why are you here?

I need your help.
I'm being sued by the Honey Pot.

- It's a strip club in the valley.
- You're unbelievable.

Well, I was in the V.I.P. room
getting a lap dance,

and the stripper lifted my wallet.

They're suing me for defamation.

I was so upset about my wallet

It's a... website
that rates gentlemen's clubs.

You're serious?

Yeah, I gave them zero stars

and warned other men
not to go to the Honey Pot

because their strippers are thieves.

Well, if the club can prove
that your review is untrue

and caused economic losses,

then, yeah, you've got
yourself a real problem.

But my review is true.

I had my wallet in my jacket
pocket before the lap dance.

And when it was over, it was gone.

[ Sighs ]
You've only been here two minutes.

You're already giving me a headache.

Look... against my better judgment,

I will set up a meeting
with the club's lawyer

and try to settle this
as quickly as possible.

- Thank you.
- One condition...

No one at this firm
can know you're my brother.

I'm very close with my co-workers.

I was even engaged
to one of the partners.

And you didn't
even tell anyone about me?

[ Exhales sharply ]

I wasn't sure I'd ever
see you again, Charlie.

I get it.

Listen, I know I've messed up in life,

and... I really appreciate your help.

[ Sighs ]

The superintendent's cutback
in the hot lunch program

is invalid, as he failed to
comply with the sunshine law,

which requires transparency
in public proceedings.

I only adjusted a pre-existing formula.

Thus, the sunshine law does not apply.

Seriously? In front of all
these loving, caring parents,

you expect the board
to agree with you on that?

Actually, we agree with
the superintendent's analysis.

Has the board considered
the huge impact this change

will have on the 56 students'
health and welfare,

which you are
legally required to protect?

The policy change was a tough call,

but our schools are besieged
with budget shortfalls.

If our children
aren't properly nourished,

how are they supposed to
concentrate in class?

And shouldn't that be
your number-one concern?

[ Indistinct whispering ]

Ms. Bingum, your passion is impressive.

[ Chuckles ]
Well, thank you.

I'm sorry, but the board stands
behind the superintendent.

Uh, excuse me.
[ Chuckles ]

Didn't you just say
that I was impressive?

We're adjourned.

Wow.

[ Indistinct conversations ]

I... I... I'm so sorry.

Is there anything else you can do?

You know what?

The cool thing about being a lawyer

is there's always
something else I can do...

File a motion, submit a memo.

I'm gonna go back to the office,
do a little research.

- I'll be in touch.
- Thank you.

[ Elevator bell dings ]

Hello.
[ Indistinct conversations ]

[ Clears throat ]

Grayson. Grayson, hi!

Grayson.

Oh! Oh, sorry. Oh, Grayson, wait.

Oh, God! I'm so sorry!

I'm so... aah! Oh! Oh! Aah!

Grayson.

[ Sighs ]
Owen.

Hey.

Hi. Uh, I just saw Grayson leave.

Any chance you know where he went?

Uh, yeah, he asked for some time off.

Time off?

Did... did he say why?
How long is he gonna be gone?

Uh, I didn't ask any questions.

He hasn't missed a day of work
in two years.

If he needs some downtime,
he should get it.

No, yeah, right.
[ Chuckles ] Of course.

I mean, mental health is very important.

Um, so, how did he seem to you,
mentally speaking?

Um, I don't know.

I mean, he was pale,
disheveled, exhausted.

I don't think he'd slept.

If you ask me, it looked
like he'd seen a ghost.

Hey, muffin lady.

Are you talking to me?

Those look amazing. How much?

Oh... [Chuckles]
they're for my best friend.

- She's having a tough day.
- Oh, that's very thoughtful.

Are you single?

Wow. You don't really waste any time.

Well, a gorgeous woman
who bakes... why waste time?

I'm Charlie.
[ Exhales sharply ]

I should really get going.

Have dinner with me tonight.

I'm not in the right place
for having dinner these days.

That's okay.
I'm more of a lunch guy, anyway.

I'd even settle for coffee.

Hey, blondie. What's with the muffins?

Oh, they're for Jane.

Hmm. She's working.
I'll take them to her.

You know what? Forget coffee.
You look like a green-tea gal.

[ Chuckles ]
I am.

Great. Then it's settled.

There's a café in the lobby.
I'll be there in an hour.

Hope you will, too.

[ Chuckles ]

- Stacy baked you muffins.
- That's sweet.

Oh, Teri, I need you
to do something for me,

but I don't want you
to ask any questions.

Well, whatever it is, it can't be as bad

as the time you made me go
to that Jessica Simpson concert.

To serve a subpoena to a backup singer.

You didn't have to stay
for both encores.

Now you tell me.
[ Chuckles ]

- What can I do for you?
- Track down Grayson.

I need to talk to him.
He's not answering his cell.

[ Knock on door ]
Hey. Am I interrupting?

Uh, no.

I saw your lunch-lady client
in the office this morning.

She, uh, looked pretty good
for a dead woman.

What?

We ran her social security number

from the pro Bono retainer form...

tracked it back to a woman
who died 11 years ago.

Well, she probably just
wrote down the wrong digit.

Which is why we ran
her driver's license.

Address on file at the DMV

doesn't match the one she gave us.

Okay.

She's trying to make sure
poor kids are getting fed.

Why would she lie?

That's a good question.

Oh, um...
I have a settlement conference.

It's a new client. Excuse me.

Jane, you know I'm not so good
with the warm and fuzzy stuff,

but I'm really sorry about your mom.

Thanks.

Can I help with the arrangements?

Oh, I might need you to book me
a ticket to Austria.

What?

My mom didn't want a funeral or a wake.

She, uh... she wants me to
keep her ashes for a year

and then spread them across the Alps

while singing "Climb Ev'ry Mountain."

Okay.

Well, in the meantime, I'll
start searching for Grayson,

and I'll look into your dead client.

Great. Thank you, Teri.

I danced my ass off
for 10 years to earn money

to buy the honey pot
and then another 10 years

to make it the finest gentlemen's club

in Southern California.

Now, this cossack comes
and destroys all my hard work

by his outrageous lie.

It was just one review.

I mean, how many potential
customers actually read...

There are signs in the club

stating that our liquor permit
is under review.

The Department of
Alcohol Beverage Control

monitors all complaints,

and, uh, his post
is delaying our approval.

They sent us a letter.

The holdup is costing me
over a thousand dollars a day.

Obviously, Charlie

didn't intend to interfere
with your permit.

How about he agrees
to take the review down,

and I'll draft up a letter to the ABC,

retracting the allegations?

- That's fine.
- Great.

- I won't take it down.
- What?

I'm the victim here.

I'm not gonna take back
my honest review so you can

charge a bunch of horny men
for overpriced booze...

Not to mention the stripper
still has my wallet.

Well, then,
we'll continue with the suit.

As of today, you owe my client
$24,000 plus attorney fees.

Hand over the surveillance
footage from the V.I.P. room,

and you'll see I'm telling the truth.

We don't have cameras in V.I.P. room.

I know for a fact you do.

End of discussion.

[ Door opens ]

[ Door closes ]

What is wrong with you?

What? It's a matter of principle.

Principle? You were in a strip club.

You know, I'm not the same
sleazeball you remember.

- I was there to get a job.
- Really?

You wanted to work the pole?

No, I applied to be
an assistant lab tech

at the Eastside Free Clinic.

The office manager is a frequent
patron of the Honey Pot,

and I brought him there to
just advance my application...

You know, grease the wheel.

Playboy Charlie French wanted
to work at the free clinic?

I got a lot of bad karma to work off.

I'm saving up to go back to school.

I finally have enough money,

assuming I don't lose this lawsuit.

[ Sighs ]
Charlie. Okay.

Okay.

Sometimes the best defense
is a good offense.

We'll file a counterclaim
for conversion.

We'll argue that the club
encouraged the stripper

to rip off drunk patrons
and then the club took a cut.

If nothing else, the hint of impropriety

should get them to drop the suit.

Come on.

Jane. Jane.

Hey. Did you find Grayson yet?

Not yet, but I may have figured
out why our lunch lady lied.

Her social security number

tracks back
to a woman named Trudy Sumner.

Trudy went to the same high school

as a woman named Ella Lawson.

Now, check this out.
[ Key clicks ]

An underwear model?

Sorry. That's Sven, my
"Hunk of the Day" screen saver.

A federal terrorist watch list?

That's right.
Now double-click "Ella Lawson."

- Oh, my God.
- Kathy Jenkins is Ella Lawson.

Our lunch lady is a fugitive.

Kathy, can I get you some coffee?

No, I'm... I'm fine.

So, did you figure out a way

to appeal the school board's ruling?

Actually, I asked you here
to talk about you...

...Ella Lawson.

I need to go.

You walk away, I'll go to the feds.

Listen...
I know you're not a bad person.

A bad person would not fight
for hungry children.

Start from the beginning.

10 years ago, I lived in Boston
with my husband.

At the time, our son was in the marines.

He was killed in the Iraq war,
which I strongly opposed.

I didn't want any more Americans to die,

so I...

stole some munitions
from a military base.

That's a huge federal crime.

I just wanted to send a protest message,

so I took 3,000 bullets so they
could never be used to kill.

Oh, dear.

A day later, I was at the grocery store.

My neighbor called and said the
cops had surrounded my house.

I got in my car,

drove to L.A. with nothing
but the clothes on my back.

What about your husband?

He knew that I had
strong feelings about the war,

but he had no idea what I was planning.

So you just left him?

[ Sighs ]

He was... everything to me.

My husband still lives
in our old house in Boston.

How do you know that?

He posts messages on Facebook,

says he thinks about me every day.

I mean, obviously, I can't write back,

but I think he knows
that I'm reading the posts.

Wow.

So you kept your identity
a secret for 10 years,

and you're risking it all
to ask me to help these kids?

If you saw their faces...

I mean, denying a hungry child food?

It... it... it was too much.

[ Sighs ]
Are you gonna turn me in?

No, I'm not.

But if you're tired of running,

I could reach out
to the Justice Department.

It's been a long time.
Maybe I could cut a deal.

What kind of deal?

I'm not sure.

But with your permission...
Let me see what I can do.

Okay.

Your Honor,
we're asking for some latitude

to explore whether or not
the Honey Pot was conspiring

with their dancers to steal
from unsuspecting patrons.

That's ridiculous.

Uh, my client's already been defamed,

and the accusations in his counterclaim

damage the honey pot's good name.

My client is the victim here.

Robbed in their so-called V.I.P. room,

rather than return the stolen
money, they chose to sue him.

Enough.

Are both parties
really refusing to settle?

- We want justice.
- As do we.

Terrific. I'm ordering discovery.

Let's get this off my docket,
quick as possible.

We want everything,

including the names
of all of their dancers...

their real names.

The security footage.

And security footage from
inside and outside the club.

We've already informed Mr. French,

we don't have cameras in the club.

We're asking for an order
to search the electrical closet

behind the deejay booth
to see if there's

any surveillance equipment

that records footage
inside the V.I.P. room.

That sounds pretty specific.

Fine.

We have internal security cameras.

We just don't like to remind
our patrons about them,

which is why we are willing now
to drop lawsuit,

as well as demand for fees, if
he removes his damaging review.

Not gonna happen.

- No deal.
- Are you kidding me?

Look, on my way out of the club,

I was roughed up
by one of their bouncers

after I complained about the incident.

[ Sighs ]
It's not right.

They can't treat people
the way they treated me.

We decline the offer.

Please have all discovery
sent over immediately.

No one stole your client's wallet,

and the footage will prove that.

Yeah, well, we'll know
soon enough, won't we?

[ Sighs ]

If you're upset with me,
we should talk about it,

because making me wear this suit and tie

is cruel and unusual punishment.

I'm not upset with you...
Although, as a guardian angel,

you're really not
that much help these days.

I picked up your blouse from
the dry cleaner's last Tuesday.

'Cause you spilled wine on it.

So if you're not mad at me,

then why am I wearing
this itchy ensemble?

I need to make an appeal to the
A.U.S.A. on behalf of a client.

No other lawyers in the firm
were available,

and there is strength in numbers.

So you want me to pretend
to be a lawyer?

Oh, God. This is a terrible idea.

It's an awesome idea.
I just watched "Legally Blonde."

Do you think we should do
a bend-and-snap before we go in?

- Here's what I want you to do...
- Yeah.

...keep your mouth shut,

and then I want you to nod
at everything I say.

You got it, counselor.

Snap.

Paul.

You expect me to cut a deal

for a criminal
on a terrorist watch list,

and you won't tell me their name?

Without my help,

you would have no idea
how to find this individual.

I would like to craft a plea.

Not without a name.

Fine.
[ Clears throat ]

Her name is Ella Lawson.
[ Chuckles ]

Ella Lawson hasn't been seen
in 10 years.

I am aware.

Turn her in, or I'll charge you
with abetting a fugitive.

And why does your associate
keep nodding?

Is there something wrong with your neck?

No, but I find the necktie
to be really constricting,

like a noose. Don't you?

Anyway... I'm not abetting anyone.

I am merely representing a client,

and your bully tactics...
They don't scare me.

- Or me.
- My client is repentant.

She is a law-abiding citizen.
She poses no threat.

She stole military property at wartime.

Look, you know what?
I need to make a phone call.

You can show yourselves out.

[ Door opens ]

Why did he just leave his own office?

[ Door closes ]
My guess...

He's getting a subpoena

so he can tap our phone lines
at the firm,

hoping that we will lead him
to our client.

We got to go.

Hmm.

[ Elevator bell dings ]

- Jane.
- Hold on. Listen to me.

I need you to call Kathy Jenkins
from your personal cell.

Tell her not to call the office
under any circumstances

and that I will be in touch directly.

I think our phones
are being tapped and...

- Who's that guy in the suit?
- No idea.

Excuse me. Hi. How can I help you?

- You're Jane Bingum.
- Well, that's right.

Oh, I suppose you work for the feds.

You've been sent here
to keep an eye on me?

- That would be correct, ma'am.
- Well, shoot. [ Chuckles ]

'Cause, see, this is private property,

which means, unless you have
a warrant, you're trespassing,

not to mention
that by gathering evidence

in an office
where a client is represented,

you're violating the fourth amendment.

So I suggest you hightail it out of here

before I haul your ass into court.

Yes, ma'am.

Any more suits, call security.
I'm gonna go to work.

- Oh, Jane.
- Yeah?

I found Grayson.

He's at a sports bar in Century City.

- Here's the address.
- Thank you, Teri.

Uh, tell Kathy
I will be in touch very soon.

- There I am.
- I see.

And there's Finesse...

At least, that's the name she gave me.

Real name is... Wilma Kapelnicoff.

That rolls off the tongue, doesn't it?

[ Sighs ]

And you're putting your wallet
in your jacket, Charlie.

[ Scoffs ]
Your wallet wasn't stolen.

Wow.

I guess I was more buzzed
than I thought.

I was sure she stole it.
I can't believe this.

Well, I really lost my wallet
that night.

I just assumed the stripper took it.

Damn, I must have left it in the taxi.

That story you told me
about being roughed up?

Well, I just thought

it would make you more
dedicated to my case.

I mean, Dudley Do-Right always
does better with a good cause.

If you call me that again,

I will punch you right
in the face. You hear me?

Look, if I take down
the review, will it help?

Yeah, Charlie. It couldn't hurt.

Okay.

[ Sighs ]

[ Rock music plays ]

Can I buy you a drink?
[ Chuckles ]

You mind if I sit?

[ Exhales sharply ]

Grayson, um...

I wanted to talk.

You want to talk?

Yeah.
[ Chuckles ]

And I suppose because
you want to talk with me,

I should want to talk with you?

[ Sighs ]
Um...

I don't really know how to answer that,

but, yeah, that's what I would like.

That blond woman
who showed up at your house,

what she said...
It shouldn't make sense,

yet it seems perfectly clear.

What seems perfectly clear?

Shouldn't I be the one
who gets to ask the questions?

Yeah. Yeah.

Ask me anything you want.
Anything at all.

No.

No?

I don't want to talk with you right now.

I came here to clear my head,
to get away from everything,

to get away from you.

- I'd like you to leave.
- Grayson.

Please leave.

Now.

Grayson never looked at me
that way before.

He's confused.

And did he say
what else Brittany told him?

No.

But if Brittany told him
that I'm really Deb

and he believes her,

I... I wouldn't blame him for never
wanting to speak to me again.

I mean, I lied to the love of my life.

You were following the rules.

Yeah, but he won't care about that.

How about you take
the rest of the day off,

and let's go to the spa? I wish I could,

but I got to meet a client at
the nail salon in half an hour.

You're getting your nails done
with a client?

No, see, she's on the federal
terrorist watch list,

so she's living under a fake identity.

The FBI would arrest her
if I met her at the office.

Wow. You live a very
interesting life, sweetie.

I know, right? Anyway,
I should probably get going.

Oh, first, wait, um...

Okay, if I was having dinner
tonight with a handsome man

with a great sense of humor
and gorgeous blue eyes...

[Chuckles]
what dress should I wear?

Excuse me. Do you have a date?

- I do!
- What?!

Okay, I met this great guy.

We went out for tea, totally hit it off,

and he's taking me out
for Italian tonight.

Ooh.

That's the perfect dress.

The neckline says "I'm
interested, but I'm not easy,"

and if you spill red sauce,
it won't show.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

Now, I really got to get going

'cause I want to get to the salon early.

To see if it's under FBI surveillance?

No, I've got a cracked cuticle.

Oh.

So, my conversation with
the A.U.S.A. didn't go well,

and it's now possible

that the feds are hoping
I'll lure you out of hiding.

Oh, my God.

- I need to leave town.
- I'm so sorry.

It's all right. I know
you were just trying to help.

The... the truth is, the hardest
part about leaving town

is missing the kids at school.

They depend on me.
Now I can't even say goodbye.

[ Sighs ]

- Excuse me.
- Teri.

The A.U.S.A. just called.
He's reconsidered his position.

He's offering you
three years in prison...

...but only
if Kathy turns herself in today.

Kathy?

I'm tired of hiding.

Let's do it.

[ Knock on door ]
Come in.

Hey.

- Hey.
- Got your text.

Have a seat.
I, uh, called in some favors

and got the Honey Pot's
liquor permit expedited.

In exchange,

they're gonna drop the suit
and their demand for damages.

[ Sighs ]
How can I thank you?

By staying out of trouble.

I swear, I'm a changed man.
I even brought you something.

It's a check for $3,000.

I know I owe you a lot more,
but it's a start.

Thank you. It's...

Hey, um... I mean,

do... do you want to go grab
a bite to eat or something?

Oh, you know, I would,
but I'm late for this hot date.

I met this sexy, smart woman,

and now I have a reason to celebrate.

Who knows? She could be the one.

Could be.

Charlie.

I really hope to see you again soon.

Me, too.

[ Door closes ]

Your Honor, I have come to the court

to effect a voluntary surrender
of Ella Lawson.

With the A.U.S.A.'s assistance,

we have reached
a disposition of the charges...

Three years in exchange
for her turning herself in.

Absolutely not.

- What?
- What's going on?

- We never offered those terms.
- Jane?

Your Honor, his office
contacted my assistant

who relayed the offer
less than an hour ago.

Ms. Bingum came to my office
and asked for a plea.

I refused to engage. In fact,
I walked out of the room.

He's sandbagging us.

I would never make a deal
with a domestic terrorist.

In fact, we're seeking the
mandatory sentence of 25 years.

- She's a fugitive. Arrest her.
- Jane, do something.

Your Honor, at least set bail
until we can work this all out.

The government asks that bail be denied.

Ms. Lawson is a proven flight risk.

Agreed. [ Sighs ]
Bail is denied.

- Jane, what just happened?
- They lied to us.

The government used me
to get to you. I'm so sorry.

[ Handcuffs click ]

Yeah, Teri, they arrested her.

No, he completely lied to my face.

Excuse me, Ms. Bingum,
uh, do you have a moment?

Uh, listen, I got to go. Bye.
[ Cellphone beeps ]

Hi. I'm sorry. Do I know you?

I'm Stan Glassman. I'm a producer.

[ Gasps ] Oh, my God.
I do know you. [ Chuckles ]

I mean, I know of you.
You produced "12 Angry Maidens."

I auditioned for angry maiden number 11.

- Really?
- [ Laughing ] Yeah.

I mean, it was such a long time ago,

and I'm no longer acting.

But, um, I'm actually right in
the middle of something, so...

Look, I heard about your
client, the fugitive lunch lady,

and I think her story
would make a terrific movie.

I'd like to option her life rights.

I can offer you 50 grand.

I appreciate your interest,
but the "son of Sam" law

prohibits my client
from profiting from her story.

- What about you?
- What about me?

Sell me your rights.

I'm sure you could
offer the screenwriter

a unique point of view.

No. No, thank you. Thank you.

But my only concern right now
is how best to help my client.

Excuse me.

- Okay.
- The governor-elect was caught

at the Honey Pot getting a lap dance.

Whoa, whoa, whoa...
This still frame was taken

from the surveillance footage

from Charlie's night at the club.

That... that's Finesse
leaving the frame.

I watched the video at least 10 times.

I never noticed the governor.

That's 'cause
we were looking at our client.

We weren't focused on the other patrons.

Was Charlie ever alone
with the discovery?

Yeah, sure.
[ Sighs ]

Charlie's the one
who sold this screen grab.

- Where's Jane?
- She went home. Why?

Because this photo puts
the entire firm in jeopardy.

[ Knock on door ]
Coming.

Hey! Hi.

Hi. We have a problem.

Ugh, if this is about

Teri stealing
your yogurt from the fridge,

you have got to put
your name on the carton.

I'm serious.

Okay. What's wrong?

I was played by a client.

He came to me
with a manufactured lawsuit

solely for the purpose
of gaining access to discovery,

It's a website that peddles
in celebrity gossip.

Yeah, I know. Was it
a Lindsay Lohan car accident?

No.

No, it was the governor-elect
getting a lap dance.

Ohh.

- This is huge.
- Yeah.

Your client's actions violate

section 166
of the California Penal Code.

And as his lawyer,
you could be indicted.

Oh, I know.

And I've opened the firm up
to massive civil penalties.

Didn't you vet this client?

[ Sighs ]
His name is Charlie.

We have a long and complicated history.

Look, I should have
told you this a long time ago,

but the truth is...
[ door opens ]

And that's when I discovered
I was allergic to llamas.

I swear to God.
[ Laughs ]

Owen, what are you doing here?

I was about to ask you the same thing.

Oh, this is the girl I was
telling you about.

You... were on a date with Stacy?

S... she's your hot date?

We had a lovely evening.

He took me to Il Capricio.

- Stacy, Charlie is my brother.
- What?

What? You have a brother?

This is the client
that I was telling you about.

- This is Charlie.
- Nice to meet you.

Hey, we were engaged.

You never said anything about a brother.

Oh, my God. I just made out
with my baby's uncle.

- Oh!
- Oh!

- You have a baby?
- Ugh. I am pregnant.

- Your brother is the father.
- Whoa!

Okay, maybe you should have
told me you had a baby on board

before I bought you dinner.

Maybe you should have
told my best friend

that you're a con artist before
she agreed to go out with you.

Ohh, you're his brother
and a con artist?!

I should probably leave.

We have warrants
for Charlie and Owen French.

Officer, before this gets out of hand,

Owen French didn't do anything wrong.

Jane, it's okay. I'm Owen French.

This is Charlie. Let's go.

Thank you.

- Owen.
- Hey.

How did you get them
to drop the charges?

Well, I pulled judge Summers
out of dinner

told her what happened,

- and she made a few calls.
- Hmm.

You know, you have a long line of people

ready to stand up for you.

What about my brother?

They're charging him with larceny.

They looked into his bank records.

He just gave me a check for $3,000.

[ Chuckles ]
Well, whatever you do, don't cash it.

You know... for what it's worth,

I understand
why you never told me about him.

Thanks. What about you?

Uh, what's going on with your case?

Oh, well, the A.U.S.A. lied
to me, and I have no recourse.

Yeah, they'll pretty much say
anything when they're pursuing

someone on the federal
terrorist watch list.

25 years for a symbolic protest?

It's just too severe.

Well, if you can't dispute
the facts, go for her intent.

Put her on the stand
and get her to explain herself.

So argue that stealing military property

is a form of freedom of expression?

You got anything better?

I wasn't trying to hurt our country.

I love America, but I was
trying to make a statement.

That you opposed the Iraq war.

Yes. I lost my son.

I didn't want any more people to die.

Thank you.

So, you stole 3,000 rounds of
25-millimeter tracer ammunition.

- Is that right?
- Yes.

Were you aware that those bullets

cost the government over $50,000?

No.

Are you aware that the threshold

for a grand larceny conviction
is $25,000?

I am now.

Kathy, you never sold those bullets

or profited from the theft
in any way, did you?

No. Like I said, the theft was symbolic.

In fact, I chose those specific bullets

because they could only be used
in military-issue weapons.

W... w... w... wait. Hold on.

So you're saying

that those bullets won't work
in commercially available guns?

Yes. That's right.
[ Gasps ]

Apprendi v. New Jersey.
[ Laughs ]

- What's going on here?
- In Apprendi,

the Supreme Court held

that facts that can enhance a sentence

must be found by a finder of fact.

- So?
- So, Your Honor,

you're the finder of fact here.

Which means that I can use

whatever valuation system I want.

Yes, and I ask that
you find that those bullets

were worthless to Kathy
as there's no secondary market.

Because they can only be used
in military weapons.

Exactly, so instead of grand larceny,

the charge against my client

could be reduced to petty larceny,

which carries
no mandatory minimum sentence.

The government still asks for 25 years.

Your Honor, my client committed
this crime a decade ago.

And since then, she has been
a law-abiding lunch lady.

Three years in prison
is more than enough.

And the government
is opposed to that disposition.

Your Honor, my client
has demonstrated her potential

for rehabilitation.

The only reason she risked
being caught is because

she was trying to protect
the welfare of her students.

- Please...
- No need to beg, Ms. Bingum.

Three years is acceptable.

Thank you.
[ Chuckles ] Um...

Oh, uh, just one more request...

Would you permit my client
a few minutes with her husband?

Uh, they haven't seen each other
in a very long time.

Why not?
[ Gasps ]

[ Chuckling ] I got you back.
[ Chuckles ]

Thanks for coming to see me.

You put my firm in jeopardy.

You put my career
and my reputation in danger...

Real danger.

I know. I'm a screw-up.

- I've always been a screw-up.
- We're not kids, Charlie!

That excuse isn't gonna play anymore.

I want to know something.

Why did you do it?

Did you really think
that you'd get away with it?

They said they were gonna
hold it for a week.

It would have given me time
to get back to Europe.

They lied to me. Can you believe that?

Can I believe that they lied
to you? You lied to me.

You told me that you had
turned your life around.

You told me that
you were going back to school.

Do you remember that?!

I just told you what you needed to hear.

But I really am sorry.

I need you.

It's not gonna work anymore.

Owen...

I'm sorry.

I seriously messed up. I'm scared.

I need an attorney,
and I can't afford one.

The court will appoint
a public defender.

We're done.

[ Receiver clicks ]

Ms. Bingum, I was surprised
to get your phone call.

I'm sure.
[ Chuckles ]

Did you change your mind
about selling your story?

Not me, my client.

But the "son of Sam" laws?

Right, they prevent her
from profiting from her story,

but she would like you
to donate the money

to the hot lunch program
at South Oak Elementary.

Feed the kids. I love a happy ending.

Well, great. Our price is $100,000.

I won't go above $50,000.
[ Scoffs ]

Listen, the donation's tax-deductible.

You'll practically make back
the difference.

But, you know, if you're not interested,

I've got two other producers
lined up, so...

- You have a deal.
- Oh, not so fast.

I would like consultation rights
on who plays me in the movie.

I have prepared
a list of my top-10 choices.

I think Sandra Bullock...

She's got the humor and the
gravitas to really make me pop,

but Jennifer Lawrence...
I mean, she's delightful,

so a really close runner-up.

I'll see what I can do.

[ Chuckles ]

[ Door opens ]

Stace, are you home?

I won my case, and now Sandra Bullock

is going to play me in the mov... ie...

Hey.

I'm ready to talk.

Oh. I'm... glad to hear that.

But first, I have a question.

Anything.

Who are you?

I think you already know.

Grayson, it's me.

I'm Deb.

I...

I don't understand.

So, I died in that car crash,

um, and then I figured out
a way to come back...

Just... in another body.

Jane's body.

Yeah.

But with my soul.

Deb's soul.
[ Chuckles nervously ]

I realize this is a lot to process.

A lot to process?

It's insane.

- I... it... I...
- I know.

- I have a question.
- Okay.

Who was that blond woman
that showed up here?

I... I tried to follow her,
but she took off.

That was the original Jane, who died,

and she figured out
how I got back to earth

and copied me.

So now her soul
is in that other woman's body.

You realize how this sounds?

I do.

[ Sighs ]

So, let's just assume for the moment

that I believe you.

I mean, God knows there were times

when I wondered if it were possible

since you knew so much about me,
so much about Deb.

'Cause I am Deb.

If that's true,

that would mean
you've watched me grieve.

You watched me date other women.

I...

I confided in you.

You never said a word.

I couldn't.
I wasn't allowed to tell anyone.

You almost married Owen.

I know.

Because I gave up on us.

I mean, but I didn't.

You have no idea
how badly I wanted to tell you.

After I died,
you and I ran into each other

at the coffee shop before work.

And the Alicia Keys song
"No One" was on.

And I looked at you.

And you were crying.

So then I started crying.

[ Sighs ]

That was our song.

[ Voice breaking ]
I wanted to... race to you and kiss you...

And tell you everything.

But instead, I went home to Stacy,

and we stayed in bed...

Sobbing all day.

Stacy knows about you?

Um, yeah, b... but...

You just said you couldn't tell anyone.

Right. No. It's just...
It's very complicated.

You trusted her.

You didn't trust me.

No, Gr... Grayson, listen.

You have no idea how many times
I tried to tell you the truth.

I tried.

But you didn't.

[ Sighs ]

I need some air.

Please. You can't keep running away.

[ Crying ]
I'm sorry.

[ Door closes ]

[ Knocks ]
Hi.

- You okay?
- Can I help you?

Uh, well, t... that's the plan.
[ Chuckles ]

Assuming you're not
about to have a breakdown.

[ Clears throat ]
You look pretty shook up.

I'm fine... allergies.

Who are you?

Belinda... Scotto.

Owen hired me to help
while Kim's on maternity leave.

And you are Grayson Kent, right?

Sixth-year, litigator extraordinaire.

Well, I wouldn't go that far.

Okay, I won't, but since
you're assisting me on a case,

I hope you're at least
better than average.

Client meeting in 15.

Oh, um, and about those allergies...

I have decongestants in my bag.

Thanks.

I also have Xanax,
if that's what you really need.

- Hey, sweetie?
- Mm.

Hey, I think you're late for work.

No, I'm not going in today.

Hey!

There is a lot of injustice
in the world,

and you need to adjust it.

- Okay, come on. Out of bed.
- No!

I'm gonna make some coffee.

No, I can't face Grayson.

[ Sighs ]
He's furious with me

for confiding in you that
I'm Deb and not telling him.

Yeah.

I'd probably be upset, too.

Thanks.

Look.
[ Sighs ]

Grayson just needs time to process.

I mean, what did you expect...

that he would take you
in his arms and say,

"at last, we're together"?

[ Clears throat ]

Don't mean to interrupt
the pajama party,

but Teri just read me the riot act

because Jane's new client
is in her office

and Jane is not.

Just tell her I'm sick.

Oh, what's wrong?

- U.T.I.? I.B.S.? T.M.J.?
- Unh-unh.

Whatever it is,
I'll get you medicine A.S.A.P.

Ooh, ooh, and I will get us
"Smash" on DVD,

and then we can binge-watch it
all day long!

Yeah! Whoo!

I'm up. Yeah.

Boom!

Hi. I'm so sorry I'm late,
Mr. Donaldson.

Oh, I... I understand.
You're a busy lawyer.

Uh... okay. Well, let's get started.

You are here about your brother.

Yeah.

Eight years ago, Michael was convicted

of burning down the record store
where he worked.

Uh-huh.

He's been up for parole twice,
denied both times.

He's up again this afternoon.

Yeah, I read the file.

Uh, how can I help?

I need you to convince them

to tell the parole board
that he's guilty.

Do you think he's guilty?

Absolutely not.

But unless my brother says he did it,

they won't let him out.

That's correct.

Our mother's really sick.

She shouldn't have to pass away
with her son behind bars.

[ Inhales deeply ]

The store owner's wife died in the fire,

and a week before the fire,

she terminated your brother
for stealing.

These facts are
gonna complicate the hearing.

But my brother didn't steal anything.

Says you.

Gina fired him
because he fell off a ladder

in the storeroom
and broke his right arm.

Rather than pay workers' comp,
she accused him of theft.

Look, ma'am,
I just sold my painting business

so I can afford a top lawyer like you.

I need you to help Michael.

In a way, this is all my fault.

Why is it your fault?

Well, I'm the one that pushed him

to take the stupid job

and told him he had to man up
and start making it on his own.

So, please, just... get him out of jail.

Ms. Evans was one of the passengers

on the infamous cruise from hell.

Yeah, I saw the footage.
It was all over the news.

My husband and I had been
going through a rough patch,

and my mom bought us a seven-day trip

aboard the Sapphire Moon.

"Rekindle the romance
as you sail the high seas."

Well, for the first five days,

Calvin and I were like newlyweds.

And then the fire in the engine room

'caused an electrical outage.

So the toilets backed up.
Food began to rot.

For the next week, we were stranded.

It was a nightmare.

And it all could've been prevented.

Here. Take a look
at the maritime agency report.

[ Clears throat ]

Engine trouble on the Sapphire Moon

was documented three times
in the prior month.

And there are nine documented cases

of engine fires on other company
ships within the past year.

That's five times the industry norm.

Every day a ship isn't sailing,

it costs the cruise line big bucks,

so they slap on some duct tape

and keep the S.S. Petri dish
on the water.

Ms. Evans, where's your husband?

Calvin left me.

The cruise brought out the worst in us.

And we said things
that we can't take back, so...

We went on that boat
to save our marriage,

and now Calvin never wants
to see me again.

I say we file

for negligent infliction
of emotional distress.

Grayson, what do you think?

Grayson?

I think that makes sense.

Uh, under California law,

you can sue
without showing personal injury.

That is exactly what we are gonna do.

Stace. What are you doing here?

Oh, I came to check on Jane.

- She's in jail.
- Oh, my God!

- What did she do?
- She's meeting a client.

Anyway, you should be
more concerned about Owen.

Owen? What's wrong?

Take a look in the conference room.

Describe what you see.

I see Owen.

- No, you see sad Owen.
- Sad Owen?

- Yes, and it's your fault.
- What?

He wanted to date you,
and you just brushed him off

like dandruff from your shoulder.

That happened once, and I still
think they were snowflakes.

I thought you thought
he was the perfect guy.

This is really none of your business.

Fine. Then I will judge you in silence.

Okay.
[ Clears throat ]

I have strong feelings for Owen,
but I can't date him,

because if we break up,

there will be tension between us.

Tension is not good for my baby,

and I won't risk anything
when it comes to my child.

But I admit,
seeing sad Owen makes me sad.

Yeah.

And we need to get him to move on.

We need to find him someone new.

I love setting people up!
[ Chuckles ]

The trick is to not let them
know what you're doing.

- Ah. Like pickpocketing.
- And kegels.

So, we know Owen liked Jane,
and he likes me,

so we just need to find him
a Jane/Stacy hybrid.

I'll start the search immediately.

[ Chuckles ]

Yeah.

I won't say I'm guilty when I'm not.

The parole board will not let you out

unless you say you're guilty.

I didn't lie at trial,
and I'm not gonna start now.

Look at the evidence. Okay?

The fire was started in the storeroom.

You had an access key.

Gina Tolin was killed. You had motive.

The accelerant was mineral spirits

consistent with the rust remover
found in your truck.

All of that is true, but I'm innocent.

You know what?

Regardless of guilt or innocence,

you can either stand
on principle and stay in prison

or you can say the words
the board needs to hear

and move on with your life.

As your lawyer, my job
is to get you out of prison.

There's only one way
that's gonna happen.

I know that I...

should find forgiveness in my heart,

but I can't.

How?

How am I supposed to forgive the man

who took my wife from me?

[ Sighs ]

Thank you, Mr. Tolin.

Mr. Donaldson,
we'd like to hear from you.

I'm sorry for your loss.

I can't imagine your grief.

[ Sniffles ]

[ Sighs ]

I can assure you
that if I'm released today,

I will live a law-abiding life.

Is that all, Mr. Donaldson?

I take full responsibility for the fire.

And I am truly sorry for my crime.

It's about time we heard those words,

but your sincerity seems questionable.

Uh, but he admitted guilt.

Ms. Bingum, you're welcome
to advise your client,

but you have no say
in these proceedings.

Wait a minute... Michael has
been a model prisoner,

and he has done
everything that you have asked,

and he's remorseful.

Well, then he can return
to this board in two years

and try a more convincing apology...

not one fed to him by his attorney.

We're done.

[ Buzzer ]

You said that they'd let me out.

- Let's go.
- Jane...

Jane!

Jane!

[ Sighs ]

Wow. That was quite a fire.

Yeah, destroyed the entire building

and all of its contents...

hundreds of vintage records
and CDs, memorabilia,

and $15,000 in cash.

And you're blowing up
this case because...?

Because... [sighs]
I cannot let an innocent man rot in prison.

What makes you so sure he didn't do it?

You just... should've heard him confess.

He couldn't even look
at the parole board,

and then after the hearing,

I spoke to Michael's public defender.

Eight years ago, the prosecution
used a motion in limine

to keep out evidence
about a suspicious fire

in another one of the
record-store owner's buildings.

That fire... two months before
the record store burned down.

Evidence that could've pointed
to another suspect in the fire.

Exactly.

[ Laughing ]
Oh! Oh, and get this.

The pathetic excuse for a judge,

he wouldn't even allow the defense

to ask the record-store owner
about his insurance policy.

Right there, Michael
should've gotten a new trial.

Outrageous.

Um, Jane, you know
that Michael had a bench trial?

Yeah, the public defender
mentioned that.

Did he also happen to mention the name

of the pathetic excuse for a judge?

No.

Honorable Owen French.

If counsel had simply read
the cruise line contract,

we wouldn't be here.

Under section 15(B),

passengers cannot sue
for emotional distress.

And if you had brushed up
on your contract law,

you'd remember that such waiver
clauses are not enforceable.

Maybe not in the U.S.,
but the choice of law provision

mandates that Bahamian law
governs all disputes.

Sounds like you two may have
some sunshine in your future.

Your Honor, they can't
just choose foreign laws

without a substantial nexus
to the country.

White Sands Cruise Lines
is based in the Bahamas.

The ship is registered there.

Even assuming that's true,

the cruise was a gift
from Sarah's mother.

Sarah herself
did not even sign the contract,

therefore, she's not bound
by forum selection.

The moment that Sarah
stepped foot onto the boat,

not to mention
indulged in the chocolate buffet

and danced
to the Jack Hammond orchestra,

she agreed to the terms of the contract.

Enough. I agree with the defendant.

Hold on, Your Honor.

This horrific cruise
destroyed our client's marriage,

therefore we'd like to amend our
complaint to loss of consortium,

which is not waived
under the passenger contract.

[ Laughs ]
Loss of consortium?!

You're contending
that your client can sue

because she can no longer screw?

You bet.

In Emery v. The Rock Island Boatworks,

a husband sued
for loss of sexual contact

after his wife fell through a manhole.

Wells v. JCPenney... a man sued
after his wife was attacked

following an argument
over crystal-bear figurines

at an after-Christmas sale,
and they were subsequently

unable to have marital relations.

Your Honor, we contend
that the cruise from hell

ended our client's sex life.

As of last week, her husband
filed for separation.

- Your Honor...
- Save it.

It's a long shot,
but it's enough to go to trial.

[ Gavel bangs ]

[ Knocks ]
Hey.

Hey.

When you were a judge,

do you remember a defendant
named Michael Donaldson?

Sure. Yeah, arson/murder.

It was my first year on the bench.

My robes still had that new-robe smell.

Oh, yeah?
[ Both laugh ]

So, I was wondering...

why didn't you allow evidence
of a previous suspicious fire

in another building
owned by the victim's husband?

Why are you asking me questions
about an eight-year-old case?

Michael was just up for parole,

and his family hired me
to represent him.

[ Sighs ]

I think you have a lot of nerve
questioning my judgment.

No, I... I'm just saying that,
as a new judge... [Chuckles]

you know, maybe Michael's guilt

wasn't as clear-cut as you thought.

I don't sentence people lightly,

especially someone as young as Michael.

Yeah, I... I understand. I understand.

See, but there was evidence...

Jane, did you ever consider

the reason Michael's family
chose you was to get to me?

You think it's just a coincidence

that out of all the lawyers
in Los Angeles,

they just happened to pick you?

Well, I happen to have
a pretty good reputation.

They're playing you.

You might be too softhearted to see it,

but I will not undermine my own verdict

by discussing this case with you.

[ Sighs ]

For the first five days,

you and your husband had
a wonderful time on the cruise?

That's correct.

The spark in our marriage was back.

What happened after the engine fire?

We started fighting,

and by the time we docked,

Calvin had asked for a separation.

No further questions.

You claim
that during the first five days,

your marriage was back on track.

Absolutely.

Can you explain this photo?

There you are in the background.

Let's, uh, go in for a closer look.

[ Spectators murmur ]

Doesn't look like a marriage
that's back on track, does it?

No, no, no. Calvin was using
the knife like a microphone.

He was singing along with the orchestra.

We were communicating.

And right after the engine fire,

we worked together
to help other passengers.

But by day 4, we were starving.

Calvin was reluctant,

but I convinced him
to help me raid the pantry.

And from then on,
we just kept on fighting.

So... you broke into the ship's pantry?

That's how desperate things got.

I see.

Nothing further.

Jane.

Jane!

What's wrong?

Owen accused me
of getting played by my client.

He said that the only reason
Michael's brother came to me

was to get to him.

He might have a point.

Or not.

I mean, Owen always gets self-important

when it comes to his judging,

but, you know, I mean,
this shouldn't be about his ego.

It's about justice.

Well, you can't make him talk
about the case if he refuses.

Ooh. Actually, I can.

And you're gonna help.

Why are you bringing me a croissant?

A chocolate croissant... your favorite.

I also brought you this.

Okay.

A subpoena?

I'm only the messenger.

From Jane?!

I'm sorry, Owen, but you've been served.

There you are.

Don't blame me if your latte's cold.

I couldn't find you.

That's 'cause I'm hiding.

Right. From Joanne
in accounting. Good idea.

I cannot buy any more wrapping
paper for her kid's school.

No, I'm hiding from Owen... and Grayson.

Are they selling wrapping paper?

[ Sighs ]
Paul, I'm a horrible person.

I served Owen with a subpoena,

and Grayson won't even talk to me.

Well, I can't really blame him.

I mean, you did lie to him
all these years.

Well, thank you for your support,

especially since the only reason
I didn't tell Grayson the truth

was because I was following
the stupid rules.

You know, you can
blame the rules all you want,

but when you came back down to earth,

you made a choice to tell Stacy,
not Grayson.

And I think there's
a little more going on here

- than you want to admit.
- Well, thank you,

but as my Johnny-Come-Lately
guardian angel,

you have no idea
what you're talking about.

Excuse me.

Even if the cruise line
can't contest what happened,

they are gonna fight us hard on damages.

And we'll need to call
a trauma expert to testify.

I've got a short list of psychologists.

Sarah! What the hell did you do?

Calvin? This is my husband.

I just got out of jail because
I was arrested for piracy.

- What?!
- I was arrested

for being a pirate... for pillaging.

I had to post bail.

- Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God!

Oh, my God, Sarah.

We testified that you and Calvin

broke into the ship's pantry,
which, under maritime law,

is considered looting on the high seas.

Oh, the cruise line must've
convinced the A.U.S.A.'s office

to press charges.

Calvin, I am so sorry.

Excuse me. I'm looking for Sarah Evans.

Oh, right.
Now you're being charged, too.

Officer, I'm Sarah.

You're under arrest for piracy.
You need to come with us.

Don't say a word.
We're right behind you.

[ Handcuffs click ]

Hey, Owen.

Just FYI... the court scheduled
the habeas corpus petition

for later this afternoon.

- I'm aware.
- Great.

And might I add...
excellent use of firm resources.

Look, I... I'm really sorry about
the whole subpoena thing, but...

"But."

Funny thing about the word "but"...

When "but" follows an apology,

it means you're not really sorry.

You're just defending your actions.

So your non-apology is not accepted.

No ifs, ands, or buts.

I never meant
for this to get adversarial.

But it did.

See you in court.

[ Sighs ]
I got your text.

What could be so important

that I had to leave
my prenatal meditation class?

- I found her.
- Great. Who did you find?

The perfect Jane/Stacy hybrid
for Owen...

Belinda, the new temp lawyer.

She's blond like you, smart like Jane.

I'm smart.

That's what I said... smart like you.

She went to Berkeley, she plays squash,

and she only dates powerful men.

Her last boyfriend
was on the board at Netflix.

I think their stock is overvalued,

given their huge investment
in original content.

Totally agree.

Anyway, how do we get Belinda
to make a move on Owen?

Watch me.

[ Clears throat ]

Hello, Belinda!

I just wanted to welcome you
to Harrison & Parker.

Oh. Thank you. Do you work here?

I'm more like their mascot.

Any questions about the firm
or the lawyers, I'm your gal.

For example, did you know
that the handsome Owen French

was voted one of I.A.'s top 50 lawyers?

Impressive.

he's one of the city's
most eligible bachelors.

Anything else you want to know?

Uh, I... I think I'm good.

Mm-hmm.

Thank you?

Mm-hmm. Anytime.

Mr. French, during
Michael Donaldson's trial,

were you aware of an insurance policy

on the record store that burned down?

Yes.

And the beneficiary of that policy

was Max Tolin, the owner of the store?

- Yes.
- And were you further aware

that Mr. Tolin owned another property

that burned down
just several months prior?

Yes.

Yet despite knowing
this exculpatory information,

you refused to allow it into evidence?

Ms. Bingum, since you have
compelled me to testify,

let me tell you why I barred

this so-called exculpatory evidence.

Great. I'm listening.

First, Mr. Tolin collected

no insurance money from the fire.

And how is that possible?
The policy was under his name.

The policy lapsed
due to nonpayment of premiums.

Any attempt by the defense to suggest

that Mr. Tolin had a financial motive

to torch his own building was absurd.

Um...

Right. I... yes.

Um...

what about the previous fire?

That was not deemed to be arson.

But it was deemed suspicious.

Which means that it was neither

definitely arson nor clearly accidental.

If it had been arson, that would've
been probative, but it wasn't.

The question before me was
whether Michael set the fire,

not whether or not the defense

could conjure up alternate suppositions.

I found your client guilty

because the evidence showed,
beyond a reasonable doubt,

that he was.

Anything else, Ms. Bingum?

No. Uh... thank you for your time.

May I?

Thank you.

It's like the whole firm hates me.

Hold on. I'm putting you on speaker.

I'm sorry, sweetie.

The two most important men in my life

can hardly stand to look at me.

So why don't you quit?

We'll move to Europe,
and I'll have my baby in France.

Ooh! I've always wanted a French baby!

No, I'm not leaving the firm.

But I may need to accept

that Grayson wants
nothing to do with me.

[ Scoffs ] Don't you think
you're jumping to conclusions?

Like I said,
he just needs time and space.

I mean, it took you, like,
forever to tell him the truth,

so it's only reasonable
that you give him

the same amount of...

Wait, wait, wait. Stace. Stace.

You know what?
I... I need to call you back, okay?

[ Knocks ]
Hi.

Look, I know you don't want to talk,

but I... I need your eyes
for a second, professionally.

My professional eyes?

You were a clerk
for a criminal court judge,

and I remember because back then,

I thought "clerk" meant
you worked at the cash register.

[ Chuckles ]

What is it, Jane?

Okay, look at this.

Just... just tell me,
is that blood spatter?

Probably. Why?

And for blood to look like that,

it must've been
from a severed artery, correct?

Yes. And the assailant
would've been right-handed.

See how the droplets tail off
from right to left,

- like shooting stars?
- See, all along,

the investigators thought that
Gina Tolin died in that fire,

but what if she was killed
prior to the fire being set?

Arson investigators
would've caught that.

Okay, so, this is the interior door

of the office
where Gina's body was found.

The firefighters used an ax
to gain entry to the room,

then they discard the door
on a heap of charred debris.

Even if she was killed
before the fire was set,

still doesn't mean
your client didn't do it.

Oh, but it does.
[ Laughs ]

Look. Michael's right arm is broken.

He's still wearing the sling.

He couldn't have slashed
her throat with his right hand.

Grayson, you...
you're... you're the best.

Um... I mean... uh, thank you.

I'd review the autopsy report
to confirm your suspicion.

Okay.

I didn't tell you the truth

because I didn't think
you could love me like this.

Like what?

Like this... this body.

I mean... [Chuckles]
come on, Grayson. Look at me.

I used to be a model.

My skin, my hair,
my bone structure, my teeth...

they were flawless.

And I worked every angle...

manicures, hair extensions,
eyelash tinting,

and I only ate carbs on Tuesdays.

And I did all of that for you.

No, you did all of that for you.

I wanted you to think I was beautiful.

And you did.

You told me every day.

And you really thought I was so shallow

that I wouldn't love you
in another body?

I would've walked through fire
to get you back...

in any shape or form...

because I loved you so damn much.

Did you really not know that?

I... never thought of it that way.

I think it was easier
for you to see me in pain

than risk rejection.

You underestimated me.

You underestimated us.

I got to get to court.

Why did you resort to
breaking into the pantry?

We were starving. The crew
had hoarded the remaining food.

And at that point,
what was the state of the ship?

People were getting sick.
The air was putrid.

Every time we hit a wave,

human sewage would
wash down the hallways.

I started calling the boat
"the ship of stools."

[ Laughs ]

Hey, Sarah, you remember
what you called the promenade?

I sure do.

The poop deck.
[ Both laugh ]

Your Honor, piracy is a serious charge.

Could you please get the defendants

to control themselves?

I'm sorry.

After the engine fire,

did the staff continue to serve meals?

For the first two days, yes,

but then the crew started hoarding food.

On day 4, we raided the pantry.

Finally, on day 5,
the Mexican tugboats arrived,

took us another two days
to get to shore.

So, y... you didn't set out
to pillage or incite a mutiny?

I'm an accountant, not blackbeard.

Although, I once owned a parrot.

And you look really cute
in an eye patch.

I poked myself in the eye
with a swizzle stick.

[ Laughs ]

Your Honor, the defendants

are not taking these charges seriously.

Our clients are laughing
because the charges are absurd.

Mr. Kent is right.

The case is dismissed.

Tomorrow, we will resume
with the civil proceedings.

[ Gavel bangs ]

Did you get the victim's autopsy report?

- Right here.
- Okay.

So, I need to prove that
the store owner's wife, Gina,

was dead before the fire began,

and if she was, she couldn't
have inhaled any smoke,

so the carbon monoxide level
in her blood would be zero.

Please tell me that it's zero.

Sorry, boss... 12%.

Damn it. I... I was... I was so sure.

Autopsy reports don't lie.

Yeah.

But neither do the victim's wrinkles.

What?

The... the wrinkles
around her mouth suggest

- that Ms. Tolin was a smoker.
- And that makes you all giddy?

Smokers have
a base carbon monoxide level

of approximately 10% to 15%.

What are you doing?

Gina's medical records.

Here we go. Ms. Tolin
smoked two packs a day.

That explains the 12% saturation.

Yep, and we proved that Gina was killed

before the fire was set.

Teri, I... I need you to subpoena

Billy Donaldson's financial records.

Why?

I think I know who murdered Gina Tolin.

My brother didn't kill Gina.
That's insane.

Your brother hated her for firing you.

He feels guilty that you were locked up.

In fact, he told me
that he feels responsible.

Maybe now we know the real reason.

No.

Your brother owned
a painting business, right?

Mineral spirits, the chemical
used to start the fire...

it's also found in paint thinner.

That is the same kind
of circumstantial evidence

that landed me in here.

Okay, okay.
Well, then, how about this...

the firefighter manifest
listed $15,000 in cash

that burned up in the fire.

Once I suspected your brother,
I subpoenaed his bank records.

Two days after you were convicted,

he paid off the balance
on his small-business loan.

Maybe that $15,000 never burned up.

Rather, Billy stole it.

Jane, our grandmother
passed away during my trial.

She left us both some money.
That's how he paid off the loan.

I am telling you,
Billy didn't start the fire,

and I would rather die in prison
than let him say he did.

Mr. Stillman, I really appreciate
you agreeing to see me.

Why are you here, Ms. Bingum?

Your wife didn't die in the fire.

She was killed before the fire was set.

Well, I don't believe you.

And even if it were true,
what is the point of telling me?

Well, I... thought
you would want to know.

Oh, let me guess.

Now you're gonna tell me
your client didn't do it.

Yes.
[ Sighs ]

Actually, I was going to
ask you for your support

in front of the parole board.

- Are you nuts?
- No, no, I'm... I'm serious.

You see, your... your wife was stabbed

by a right-handed man,

and Michael's right arm was in a cast.

Couldn't have done it.

Smoke and mirrors.

- Excuse me?
- That's what this is.

That's what you lawyers do...
anything for the client.

They pay you to get them off,
not to find the truth.

Listen to me.

No, you listen to me.

If your client is innocent,

you go back to court and prove it...

without me.

Now... I need you to leave.

[ Clears throat ]

"Manic Method."

Can I help you?

Oh, actually, you already have.

Commissioner,
I'd like to call your attention

to a photo of a limited-edition
Manic Method lithograph,

hand-signed, number 17 of 250.

The Michael Donaldson case
has already been adjudicated.

I'm presenting new evidence
that bears directly

on my client's parole application.

Your client admitted
to the crime. You heard him.

Any question of innocence
has already been put to rest.

He confessed because I told him to.

You told an innocent man
to falsely confess?

Yes, I told him that he
wouldn't receive early release

unless he admitted guilt,

but I can now prove his innocence.

Ms. Bingum, this is not
the proper venue for this.

Oh, really? Well, 'cause I thought...

Well, uh, hold on.
[ Laughs ]

I thought that
the parole board's mission

is "to identify those offenders"

"for whom there is sufficient indication"

"that confinement
is no longer necessary."

So proving an offender innocent
has got to be, what,

the easiest way to prove that...

"that confinement
is no longer necessary," right?

Fine. Two minutes.

This lithograph hung
in Max Tolin's record store...

a store that completely burned down.

[ Door opens ]

And now this very same
lithograph, number 17,

is hanging in Max Tolin's home.

So you're probably wondering,

"well, how the hell
did that happen," right?

Oh! I know!

Because Max Tolin set that fire,

and he saved the one item
that he treasured most.

How dare you!

This woman came to my home,

asked me to support Michael's release.

I said no, and now she's turning on me.

Wait. Hold on.

Commissioner, Owen French.

I was the judge in
Mr. Donaldson's original trial.

After reconsidering
all of the evidence...

I, too, believe this man is innocent.

So you're impeaching your own verdict?

Yes, I am. And I will soon
file an affidavit.

But right now, I'm asking you
to use your mandated discretion

to consider all the evidence
that I wrongly excluded.

The evidence that shows
that Max Tolin killed his wife

and tried to cover it up
by burning down his own store.

That man set the fire!
He murdered my wife!

No, you did,
and you made a bundle doing it.

I never saw a nickel.

My insurance policy
on that building had lapsed.

Yes. It had.

But you collected on another policy...

your wife's life insurance policy,

paid for by a dummy trust so it
couldn't be tracked back to you.

Well... not easily.

The A.D.A. is prepared
to issue an arrest warrant.

Your move, commissioner.

I'm ordering the immediate
release of Michael Donaldson.

And I'm ordering the arrest of Max Tolin

for the murder of his wife, Gina Tolin.

Gentlemen.

I'm free?

Yeah, you're free.
[ Laughs ]

Whatever you're doing, don't bother.

Sarah just stopped by with good news.

She and Calvin are back together...

and consorting.

- Good for them.
- Bad for us.

We no longer have grounds
for the loss-of-consortium suit.

I mean, I... I just hate that
the cruise line is gonna win.

I'm not so sure about that.

What do you mean?

I'm no pirate, but I think
there's a treasure in this map.

Your Honor, we are refiling our claims

against White Sands Cruise Lines

for negligent infliction
of emotional distress.

We've been through this.
Emotional distress is out.

Bahamian law applies, remember?

My memory is clear.
Your geography is fuzzy.

If I could call Your Honor's
attention to the map.

See, once the engines failed,

the original route of the ship changed.

Mexican tugs slowly pulled
the ship through Mexican waters.

Yes, and our friends to the South

have the same laws as we do

with regards to waiving
emotional-distress claims.

You are absolutely correct.

Looks to me like you may have turned

the poop deck into a piggy bank.

If this case proceeds,

I think we all know
how it's gonna go down.

I suggest you make the nice couple

a very generous offer.

[ Knocks ]
Hey.

Hi.

I, uh...

I just came by to say that I'm sorry.

Well, you came through when it counted.

I screwed up, and Michael spent
eight years in prison.

Eight years.

I don't know how
I'm ever gonna live that down.

You know, if you don't mind my asking,

what changed your mind?

[ Chuckles ]
You.

Me?

[ Laughs ]

You were so mad at me.

[ Laughs ]
Yeah, I mean, what judge wants to be wrong?

Look, I know you,

and the intensity of your belief
made me think twice.

Once I got over myself,

I... I looked back through the data
with fresh eyes,

realized you were right.

How'd you find his wife's
life insurance policy?

Followed the money.

At the time of the trial,

there was nothing about the policy

'cause Max hadn't submitted a claim,

but once I rendered my verdict,
he got paid out.

So I tracked the bank records
back to a dummy trust,

which was the sole beneficiary
of his wife's policy.

- Wow.
- Took some digging,

but the whole...
[ Knocks ]

Hi.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Uh, oh, I'll just wait.

- I'll be right there.
- Yeah.

Excuse me. I, uh, I have a dinner.

- Dinner?
- Mm.

As in a dinner date?

As in... I'm hungry,

and Belinda suggested
a place that serves food.

Then have a good time.

Thank you.

Hey.

Hi.

And I should've told you immediately,

and not telling you
wasn't just about you.

If you'd let me finish...

I loved Deb.

I loved Jane.

Not Deb's soul inside of Jane,

but Jane... whoever that is.

And for the record, at least for now,

you need to accept

that I see Deb and Jane
as two different women.

Oh, see, t... t... that's
not how this works.

There is Jane, and there is Deb,

and I'm mad at both of them.

That being said...

I can't imagine just walking away

from the only two women
I've ever truly loved.

So I'm proposing...

sometime soon we go on a date.

I want to get to know you.

The real you, without secrets.

Grayson... you already know the real me.

I'm Deb.

I buried Deb.

No, Grayson...

Stop!

I buried Deb.

♪ When you can't hold on ♪

♪ When your strength is gone ♪

Now, would you like to go out with me?

Because I'd really like
to go out with you.

Yeah.

Very much so.

♪ I'll be standing right beside you ♪

♪ When you reach the other side ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh ♪

♪ When you reach the other side ♪