Drop Dead Diva (2009–2014): Season 5, Episode 13 - Jane's Secret Revealed - full transcript
As she worries about her mother's health, Jane takes on an Amish farmer's fight against fracking. Grayson represents a dominatrix who's suing a deadbeat client, while Stacy asks Owen to help get their child into a good preschool.
See that aspiring model there?
That's me... Deb...
until the day I died.
I thought I'd go straight to heaven,
but there was a bit of a mix-up,
and I woke up in someone else's body.
[ Screams ]
So now I'm Jane,
a super-busy lawyer
with my very own assistant.
I got a new life, a new wardrobe,
and the only people who really
know what's going on with me
are my girlfriend Stacy
and my guardian angel, Paul.
I used to think everything
happened for a reason.
Whoo!
[ Laughs ]
Now, I sure hope I was right.
♪ LA, LA, LA, LA-LA-LA-LA
Drop Dead Diva 5x13 - Jane's Secret Revealed
Original air date November 3, 2013
Previously on "Drop Dead Diva"...
Oh, hi.
I thought you were someone else.
It's me... the real Jane.
And I want my life back.
Jane, he is crazy about you.
You need to go to him
and tell him how you feel.
Grayson, I have something
that I want to say to you.
I...
Jane! Your mother's in the hospital.
Sweetie, my mom is fine.
Your other mother. Jane's mom.
She collapsed.
What?!
Excuse me.
I'm looking for Elaine Bingum,
my mother.
She collapsed.
[ Laughs ]
...With Elizabeth Taylor.
We found her.
[ Laughs ]
[ Gasps ]
Janie!
Mom.
Ladies, this is my daughter,
the brilliant lawyer.
I gave them all your business cards
just in case they give a patient
the wrong pill or something.
Honey, you look flushed.
Have you been running?
Yeah. I've been worried about you, mom.
Can we have a moment, please?
- Sure.
- Thanks.
What are you doing here?
The hospital called.
They said you collapsed.
Oh. That.
Yeah, that.
I came to town to see a musical...
"Priscilla, Queen of the Desert."
Oh, I love that show.
- The boys are so pretty.
- Okay.
During intermission,
I got up too fast and fainted.
It's nothing.
The doctor just discharged me.
[ Chuckles ]
Oh, I gave him one
of your business cards, too.
Okay.
Stacy and I, we're gonna take you
back to our place so you can rest.
Honey, I don't want to be a bother.
Well... oh.
Mom, we would love it
if you would come stay with us
for a few days.
Well, if it wouldn't
be too much trouble.
Janie, let's go!
Elaine, this egg in a hat...
rocking my world.
Oh. [ Chuckles lightly ]
I love this guy.
Right back at you, Elaine.
Mom, you're supposed to be resting.
Cooking relaxes me.
Why are you all dressed up?
I have an interview.
For a nursery school.
What's he talking about?
Well, I have to get my little one
into the Buchman Academy.
It is the top
pre-pre-pre-pre-college in L.A.
Now, Stacy, the big question...
who's your baby daddy?
Well, Elaine, it is no secret,
but it is o...
...Nonymous.
Uh, s... she doesn't know her sperm donor.
Wait. I... I thought it was Owen.
Janie!
[ Clears throat ]
Stacy is your best friend.
Owen is your boss and your ex-fiancé.
Greek tragedies were less incestuous.
Listen, you should be resting,
you know, not interfering.
[ Gasps ]
So now I'm interfering?
Well...
[Scoffs] maybe I'd rest better
if perhaps you were capable
of handling your personal life.
All right.
Do me a favor and stay out
of my personal life.
[ Gasps ]
Stacy, good luck today.
So, Elaine, what's for lunch?
[ Door slams ]
Hey, Teri, I'm gonna be
a few minutes late.
Stopped to get a latte.
Yeah, all right. I'll get you one, too.
And a muffin.
[ Chuckles ]
Extra gluten?
A... all right. All right. Fine. Fine.
Wait. Blueberry or bran?
[ Horse whinnies ]
[ Horse snorts ]
Whoa.
Hey, you! You stole my horse!
- I got to go.
- I... I... I didn't steal your horse.
I just brought her inside
'cause she's overheated.
Let's see some I.D., now.
Uh, excuse me. Hi. I'm an attorney.
Before this escalates,
why don't we just see
if the horse is in danger?
Check her gums.
You'll see she needs water.
Well, okay. I admit,
Sally is a bit dehydrated.
So it looks like
this gentleman saved you
from violating CPL section
597(B)... animal cruelty.
There's a hose right outside.
[ Horse snorts ]
I'm Jakob Yordy.
Thank you for your assistance, ma'am.
Jane Bingum.
You don't look like
you're from around here.
Unless you're
in one of those hipster bands
or that's Gaultier.
I'm visiting
from Colorado Amish Country.
I'm here to see
the president of Ivar Oil.
For the past three days,
I've waited in the lobby
of his office building,
but he refuses to see me.
What's the problem? If I may ask.
Well, about six months ago,
we granted the oil company
permission to drill on our farm.
Now our groundwater's contaminated
and my youngest daughter,
Rebecca, took ill.
I'm so sorry.
Doctor says it's benzene poisoning
from contaminated well water.
And the only treatment
is an expensive bone-marrow transplant.
I came to ask the president
to stop the drilling
and to pay for my daughter's treatment.
You know, Mr. Yordy...
I've dealt with Ivar Oil before.
I'm going to arrange a meeting
for you today.
This is my burden, ma'am.
But since the lord
has put you in my path...
...I'd appreciate your help.
Grayson, your 10:00 A.M.
flogging is here.
Uh...
You must be Robin Nelson.
[ British accent ] When I'm dressed
for work, I prefer Lady Robin.
- I see.
- Normally I'd change,
but I've only got half an hour
before I need to get back to my dungeon.
Your dungeon.
- Uh, you must be a...
- Dominatrix.
- Right.
- Now, sit.
You, leave
and close the door behind you.
Should I walk or crawl?
Leave.
Yes, Lady Robin.
Wow. Teri never obeys like that.
Well, when a woman dresses like a man,
she usually needs a strong woman
to tell her what to do.
Now, about my case.
One of my clients, an executive
at a Fortune 500 company,
is refusing to pay a $14,000 invoice.
I need your help to collect.
Why would a rich guy fight you
over a bill?
Well, a few weeks ago, he showed up
without an appointment,
and I was booked.
He offered me 10 times my normal rate.
I said no, and he got angry.
I'll schedule a meeting with his lawyer.
- We'll get it worked out.
- No, you won't.
Okay.
I mean, we're due in court later today.
Oh.
One of my other clients, a lawyer,
had agreed to represent me,
but, well, let's just say
he got tied up.
If we're going to court,
you need to change
into something more...
conservative.
Agreed.
Most judges don't tend
to go for leather.
At least not in public anyway.
I'll see you at 3:00.
[ Exhales deeply ]
I am very sorry
about your daughter's illness.
But it's not our fault.
The land's been in my family
for generations.
The groundwater's never been
a problem until the drilling.
In fact, the family
can no longer use their wells.
We demand Ivar stop drilling
and immediately purify the water table.
We drill thousands of feet
below the underground aquifer.
Actually... [Chuckles]
you drill through the aquifer.
You promised to install
concrete barriers.
There's no written commitment
to provide such a barrier.
Hmm. An honest amish man
versus a big, bad oil company.
Well, we'll see what the jury
has to say about this one.
- Actually, miss Bingum...
- Mm-hmm.
...I'm not going to sue.
I came here to ask the oil company
to do the right thing and nothing more.
Uh, okay.
Mr. Yordy, you can't expect them
to clean up their mess
because you ask nicely.
Sermon on the mount.
"If anyone tries to sue you
for your shirt,"
"give him your cloak, as well."
The amish don't believe in lawsuits.
We're done here.
You knew he wouldn't sue, didn't you?
Well, I had a feeling.
You're disgusting.
And you are out of moves.
No, no, no. Actually,
that's where you're wrong.
I've got so many moves,
I'm like a legal ninja.
Miss Bingum, your client
doesn't want to fight.
Yeah, maybe so.
But I do. And I tend to win.
Hi, I'm Nancy Grace.
For those of you just joining us,
we are talking to a lawyer, Jane Bingum,
an attorney with
a bone to pick with Ivar Oil.
Jane Bingum, what do you know
about 8-year-old Rebecca Yordy?
Thank you, Nancy.
The oil company's broken promises
now threaten the life
of this little amish girl.
How so?
She's been drinking the tainted water,
and now her doctors say
she needs a lifesaving surgery.
And let me guess.
Ivar Oil won't pay for that?
You got it.
Shame on you, Ivar Oil!
Shame on you!
Jane, may I speak with Mr. Yordy?
Actually, Nancy, the amish believe
that broadcasting their image
demonstrates a lack of humility.
That's why there's no amish celebrities.
I see.
But your viewers can help Mr. Yordy
by pressuring the oil company
into doing the right thing.
We are calling for
a national boycott of Ivar Oil
until they take responsibility
for their actions,
clean up the water,
and pay for little Rebecca's
medical bills.
You heard her, everybody.
We are taking those
Ivar Oil S.O.B.s down!
Miss Nelson, tell us about
your client's unpaid invoice.
On August 9th, I ordered Mr. Osgood
to sit naked on a block of ice
while I read positive reviews
of his competitor's products.
How much for that session?
$500.
How about September 3rd?
I had him crawl to his Mercedes
on all fours wearing a leash,
and then we went for a drive,
and he barked at passing cars.
How much did you bill for that?
$775 plus gas.
One question.
Did my client ever tell you
he was dissatisfied?
All the time.
What did you do
after Mr. Osgood complained?
I told him to shut his filthy mouth
and ordered him to lick my boots.
[ Spectators gasp ]
He gladly complied.
Your Honor, we've made our case,
and the defendant has offered
no defense.
Agreed. Judgment is entered
in favor of Miss Nelson.
Great job on "Nancy Grace," boss.
Your cleavage looks amazing in HD.
Teri!
Oh. Sorry.
It's not a sin if it's true, right?
You have a good spirit, Miss Lee.
Thank you. And you have a very
hot visitor in Jane's office.
Uh, Zack Trent. He saw you on TV.
Hmm.
I saw your story on the news
and came right over.
And what are
the "clean water defenders"?
A nonprofit environmental group
dedicated to protecting
our nation's water reserves.
Mr. Yordy, I understand why
you can't file a lawsuit, but...
But the Supreme Court in
Lujan v. Defenders Of Wildlife
gives nonprofits
subject-matter jurisdiction.
[ Gasps ] - Oh!
- Exactly right.
I've already sent a team to take
water samples from your wells,
assuming that's okay with you.
I grew up on a family farm.
I understand what this land
means to you and your community.
Please...
Let me help.
Few burdens are heavy if everyone lifts.
Hi.
Am I interrupting?
Not at all. Everything okay?
Since our victory in court,
I've gotten four cancellations,
all from men Tripp Osgood
initially referred to me.
Well, friends can be loyal.
This isn't about loyalty.
Tripp's telling my clients
I can't be trusted with their secrets.
Ah. And in your line of work,
discretion is everything.
Trust is everything.
I mean, if they don't trust me,
I'm out of business.
Well, the truth is on your side.
We can sue for defamation.
- Thank you.
- Mm.
[ Speaking indistinctly ]
You've got feelings for her.
Excuse me?
You're a type-"A" lawyer,
fully focused on the task
at end, which is me,
but she drew your attention twice.
And look at your feet.
What about my feet?
Your body is facing towards the door,
but your feet changed direction
when she went into her office.
And that means something?
Men tend to point their feet in
the direction they want to go.
And you want to go towards her.
Anyway, thanks for your help.
[ Elevator bell dings ]
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey.
[ Chuckles ] Sorry.
I'm just a little frazzled.
Stacy, what's wrong?
I am a terrible mother.
I told you... it's okay
to watch "R"-rated movies
- when you're pregnant.
- Not that.
I just had an interview with
the Buchman Preschool Academy,
and it did not go well.
Stacy, your baby's not even born yet.
I met with the assistant
head of admissions,
if you don't meet
with the head of admissions,
you might as well just shop around
for second-tier preschools.
You know I play racquetball
with Eddie Buchman,
the school's founder?
No way.
[ Chuckles ]
Yes way.
Look, I think it's crazy
that you're shopping
for preschools at this point in time,
but if it's important to you,
I'm sure I can get us
an interview
with the head of admissions.
And I know we're not a couple,
but if I'm gonna call in this favor,
I got to tell him that it's my kid, too.
Are you cool with that?
Absolutely.
Whatever we have to do.
Okay.
Jane. Jane. Jane!
Your mom was coming to see you.
She passed out by the elevator.
- Oh, God.
- Paramedics are on the way.
[ Monitor beeping ]
[ Knock on door ]
Hey.
How is she?
Well, she slept through the night.
Guess it was just a dizzy spell.
But the doctors say she needs rest
and they want to hold her
for observation.
Oh. Thank you.
Um, listen, I got to get to the office,
but if she needs anything, call me.
You got it. I'll be with her all day.
Won't let her out of my sight.
Thank you.
These tests confirm that the groundwater
is contaminated with
benzene, xylene, and toluene.
Contaminants regularly found
at drilling sites.
That's right.
Proof that Rebecca's illness
was caused by the drilling.
We are each our own devil
and make this world our hell.
Jakob, once the judge sees
these test results,
I'm sure he'll rule in our favor.
Excuse me. There's someone here
to see Jakob.
- Isaac, this is Jane Bingum.
- Hello.
And I believe you know that man.
Papa...
I heard Rebecca's sick.
I saw the story on TV. I...
What just happened?
Miss Bingum, I've been shunned.
In the amish tradition,
we are baptized as adults.
At that point, we become
full members of the church
and we cannot leave.
But you did?
While I was on rumspringa,
I fell in love.
When I returned home,
she was all I could think about.
A year ago,
I left my family to be with her,
and now... now my father
will have nothing to do with me.
Yes, I'll admit it.
I was very upset that Lady Robin
took me to court
over a billing disagreement.
And you told other clients
you were upset.
She aired my personal business
in a public forum.
I felt a duty to tell my friends,
especially those whom I referred to her.
Thank you.
Mr. Kent?
You couldn't stand the fact
that Robin embarrassed you in court?
That's right.
So you decided to get even
by destroying her reputation?
Truth is a defense to defamation.
I just told the truth.
What happens in Lady Robin's dungeon
doesn't stay in Lady Robin's dungeon.
Deep drilling can contaminate water
if the chemicals used
in the drilling process
penetrate the aquifers.
And this analysis proves
that the water table
has been compromised?
Yes.
Your lab analysis found benzene levels
at 767 parts per million, correct?
Yes.
The report also found levels of xylene
at 893 parts per million?
Correct.
And it found toluene
at 347 parts per million?
Yes.
Your Honor, I'd like
to introduce into evidence
a 2009 E.P.A. water-quality report
taken from a contaminated well
in West Virginia.
Objection. How can a West Virginia
water-quality report be relevant
to this case in Colorado?
Oh, I'm about to make it very relevant.
Let's hear it.
Mr. Trent, would you please tell us
the levels of contaminants found
in the West Virginia well?
Uh...
767 ppm of benzene.
893 ppm of xylene.
349 ppm, toluene.
Identical parts per million,
yet these sites
are thousands of miles apart.
I would find that impossible.
- Wouldn't you?
- I'm not sure.
Mr. Trent, isn't it true
that you never conducted
any tests at the Colorado site,
but instead tried to pass off
an old West Virginia report
as pertaining to the amish site
in Colorado?
I might have mixed up the reports.
Your Honor, we move to strike
all of Mr. Trent's testimony,
as well as the lab report.
Motion granted.
We're adjourned for the day.
I am so, so sorry.
We could do another test.
[ Chuckles ]
You know that won't matter.
That jury's not gonna believe
another word I say.
You've destroyed our credibility.
Excuse me.
Miss Bingum.
I only wanted to help.
[ Mariachi band plays ]
[ Indistinct conversations ]
Oh, my God.
- Hey, Paul.
- Hey.
We need to talk.
What on earth is wrong with you?
I don't know how to answer that.
The doctors said Elaine needed to rest,
and you threw her a party?
Jane, it's not what it looks like.
Oh, okay, so there's not a mariachi
band in her hospital room?
- Yes, but...
- Now I have to go in there
and kick everybody out. Thanks a lot.
Jane.
What?
She's dying.
What?
She wouldn't let the doctors
tell you this, but, um...
They found a tumor on her brain stem.
It's why she was in L.A.
in the first place.
No... no. She was seeing a musical.
She was seeing a specialist.
Um, but there's not anything
they can do for her
and they don't give her a lot of time.
She only told me so that
I would help her with the party.
I... I have to talk to her.
- Hey.
- What?
Um, when you go back in there,
you need to respect her wishes.
So what am I supposed to do?
Just act like everything's fine
and normal?
You don't like it when she tells
you how to live your life, right?
Paul, this is completely different.
Jane, it's what she wants.
Give her that.
[ Music continues ]
Hey. Have you been out all night?
I was at the hospital again.
Can I have some of that coffee?
- Of course.
- Thanks.
Um, Stace...
Elaine is dying.
What?
She's got a brain tumor.
She doesn't know that I know.
She doesn't want you to worry.
I... I realize she's not
really my mom, you know?
But...
Right now that just doesn't matter.
I think that she loves you so much
and she doesn't want you to hurt
because when you hurt, she hurts.
I yelled at her
for interfering in my life.
What's wrong with me?
[ Scoffs ]
What daughter doesn't yell
at her mother for that?
[ Both laugh ]
Yeah.
Yeah, I guess you're right.
[ Telephone rings ]
Tripp did well on the stand,
but I'm sure the jury will
see him as an entitled bully.
What really gets to me is that
he's having fun at my expense.
There's no doubt in my mind
that he enjoys taking the stand.
Robin...
Is it possible he was... turned on?
What do you mean?
I mean, he clearly likes
to be humiliated.
Maybe he's not a vindictive
jerk, but more of a...
Masochist.
[ Chuckles ]
I should have seen it.
I mean, that's why
he didn't pay his bill
and that's why he called
my other clients.
He wanted me to sue him.
I need to rethink our strategy.
[ Sighs ]
Yesterday was a setback,
but I am not giving up.
I appreciate everything you've done.
Mm. Thank you.
But the courts won't find
justice where the Lord cannot.
Maybe so, but if Zack hadn't messed up,
we would be sitting pretty.
I never trusted Zack.
When we shook hands, I sensed falseness.
Really?
- Look at my hands.
- Hmm.
- They're rough.
- Yeah.
- Calloused.
- You know what?
I can recommend an excellent,
all-natural moisturizer.
You're missing my point.
Zack claimed to have grown up on a farm.
But his hands were soft.
He lied to us.
[ Chuckles ] Thank you so much
for meeting with us, miss Ortiz.
Of course, but I want to make it clear
that we only accept
the most qualified of children
here at the academy.
Well, we are talking about 3-year-olds.
They can't even spell yet.
You'd be surprised.
So, our evaluation of the parents
is central to our admissions decisions.
Oh, ask me anything you want,
but if you're going to quiz me
on state capitals,
then I need to reschedule
in like a month.
Let me be honest.
You seem like a lovely couple,
but our preschool class
already has a wait list.
Let me suggest some very fine
backup academies.
I think we've heard enough.
- Stacy, let's g...
- Hold on.
Don't listen to him.
He's just the sperm donor.
I am a single mother,
and I will not allow you
to reject my child.
- Did you say "sperm donor"?
- Is that a problem?
Because under the law,
you cannot discriminate...
Stop.
Are you an unmarried, heterosexual,
artificially inseminated couple?
Yes, we are a proud
unmarried, heterosexual,
artificially inseminated couple.
Wow. We need our own flag or bracelets.
Diversity is a priority here at Buchman.
I might actually have a place
for your child.
- Really?
- I can't guarantee it.
There are other factors to consider.
What other factors?
Well, we're currently running
our summer campaign,
raising money for an indoor pool.
[ Scoffs ]
No problem. How much?
Oh, I'd never be so crass
as to suggest an amount.
But?
We are currently
about $25,000 short of our goal.
Can I pay in installments?
Okay. We've heard enough.
Stacy, let's go.
Actually, I'd like to hear
a little bit more.
- Stacy.
- I'm so sorry.
Will you excuse me?
Owen. Owen!
Where are you going?
To get away
from this academic shakedown.
If I were still a judge,
I'd throw that woman in jail
for soliciting a bribe.
But this is not a courtroom,
and I am trying
to get that woman to accept my child
into the highest-rated school
in the state.
There are plenty of great schools
that don't require pandering.
Ugh! Whatever that means,
I am not asking for your money.
And personally,
I can't imagine a better way
to spend my money
than on my child's education.
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have a big, fat check to write.
I'm sorry for the mix-up.
Miss Bingum asked me
to apologize to Your Honor in person.
Well, actually, I asked you
here, but not to apologize.
- Excuse me?
- What's going on?
See, I've discovered something
about Zack Trent.
He has really soft hands.
Soft hands?
Like a baby.
Obviously, he didn't do
a day's work on that farm.
So I went ahead
and did a little digging,
and it turns out that if you do
a Google search on Zack Trent,
exactly six articles pop up
about him and his
environmental organization.
And this is relevant because...?
Because, I mean, such a big organization
like Clean Water Defenders...
I'd expect a little more press.
We're not about publicity.
We're about results.
Anyways, I decided
to contact the authors
of each of these articles,
but they don't exist,
which made me wonder if
Zack Trent is even a real name.
And guess what.
I'm guessing it's not.
Yeah.
Our alleged tree hugger's
real name is David Clemens.
David changed his name
after working in the Public
Relations Department of...
now, wait for it... Ivar Oil.
There's nothing illegal about that.
Clean Water Defenders
is a wolf in sheep's clothing
pretending to represent
environmental causes
but actually working against them.
And Clean Water Defenders,
it's backed by a fund created
by the president of...
- Ivar Oil.
- ...Ivar Oil.
Your Honor, I had no idea.
Even if that's true,
your bosses sure did.
And by creating
a fake environmental group,
this man deliberately made our
legitimate claims ring false.
I'll be reporting Mr. Trent and
Ivar Oil to the D.A.'s Office.
But since the Clean Water Defenders
is not an appropriate plaintiff,
I'll be forced to dismiss...
unless I can find a substitute.
- Can you?
- I'm gonna try.
[ Door closes ]
Hey, boss. How'd it go?
Unless we can find someone
to legally bring the suit,
we're gonna lose.
Jakob...
Will you please reconsider?
[ Elevator bell dings ]
It would violate everything I stand for.
Why don't I just become amish?
I mean, what do you say?
You and me, Jakob, milking goats
and raising barns.
Teri, you're a genius.
I know, but I couldn't really convert.
I mean, I hear
the pretzels are delicious,
but the bonnet would give me hat hair.
No offense.
Teri, walk with me. One moment.
Are you gonna yell at me for
coming on to the hot amish man?
- Because I am who I am.
- No. God, I love you for it.
Listen, I've got to go to
the hospital and visit my mom.
I need you to track down
Isaac Yordy, Jakob's son.
- Okay. Why?
- He's our only hope.
[ Monitor beeping ]
Hi.
How are you feeling?
[ Monitor beeping ]
Where's Paul?
He went to go get some water.
I forgot my reading glasses.
He's been reading to me.
"Alice In Wonderland."
You remember when I read that
to you when you were little?
Of course. Yeah, yeah.
Would you mind picking up
where he left off?
Yeah.
Okay. Let's see here.
"Alice came to a fork in the road."
"'Which road do I take?' She asked."
"'Where do you want to go?'
Responded the Cheshire Cat."
"'I don't know, ' Alice answered."
"'Then, ' said the cat,
'it doesn't matter.'"
[ Cellphone rings ]
Sorry.
Go on.
Okay.
Read your text.
It's not important.
What you do is very important.
Read it.
Okay.
[ Beep ]
Just work.
Do they need you?
It can wait.
[ Chuckles ]
Janie...
Go do your job.
Make me proud.
I insist.
I'll be back as soon as I can.
I know you will.
And I'll be here.
[ Chuckles ]
Mr. Osgood, we have a proposal.
If you continue to defame Robin,
we'll drop the suit immediately.
I'm sorry. Maybe I heard you wrong.
But you're supposed to drop
the suit if he stops defaming,
not the other way around.
Not in this case.
I don't understand.
I think Tripp understands.
I do.
Whatever she wants, I'll do it.
You'll start by calling
all of Robin's clients.
Stop.
I want Lady Robin
to issue my instructions.
You'll take back everything
you said to my clients
that harmed my business.
And what exactly should I say?
Tell them you're a filthy,
lying, worthless human being.
And...
[ Whispering indistinctly ]
[ Clears throat ]
I can do that.
All of it.
And I'd like to schedule a time
with you for tomorrow.
I'll pay in advance.
I'm sorry I'm late.
I would like to introduce
my new plaintiff...
Isaac Yordy, Jakob Yordy's son.
Your Honor, this man has no standing.
He's not a member of the amish
community. He's been shunned.
My sister is dying, Your Honor.
I'm asking the court to recognize me
even if my father won't.
[ Sighs ]
Young man, I wish I could,
but you don't qualify as a plaintiff.
Well, actually he does.
Per the family land deeds,
Isaac owns five acres
left to him by his grandfather.
Is this all true?
I am here to help. Please.
Few burdens are heavy if everyone lifts.
Yes. It is true.
My father saved each of his
grandchildren a parcel of land.
He died before Isaac left us.
Then I'm issuing an injunction
preventing any further drilling
and awarding compensatory
damages plus medical costs
for Isaac Yordy's sister Rebecca.
Whoa. Hold on, Your Honor.
That is excessive.
I'm also ordering your client
to put $10 million
in an escrow account to pay
for any future remediation.
[ Gasps ]
We're done here.
[ Laughs ]
[ Knock on glass ]
- Hey.
- Hey.
Do you have a minute?
Yeah, of course.
You were right.
My first action as a mother
should not be to engage
in criminal activity.
It wasn't really criminal.
It was a bribe. And it was shady.
Can I ask you something?
Why was that school so important to you?
Because I'm not as smart
as you think I am.
And a school like Buchman
will give my child
an advantage that I can't.
See, you're brilliant,
and you take it for granted that
this kid is gonna be like you,
but what if he or she is like me?
[ Sighs ]
You know what?
You don't give yourself enough credit.
Do you really think
that you could have started
a successful business
if you weren't smart?
Stacy, the pakery was genius.
And come on. You picked me
to be your sperm donor.
[ Laughs ] What does that
got to do with anything?
You picked a guy like me.
That shows a high level of intelligence.
Stacy, I will always be there
to support you and your child.
[ Chuckles ]
Our child.
[ Chuckles lightly ]
Okay.
[ Sighs ]
The court has ordered Ivar Oil
to issue their first check.
Here you go.
This is truly a miracle.
[ Chuckles ]
Papa.
Please tell Rebecca and mother
that I miss them.
Miss Bingum, my train leaves in an hour.
I'm meeting my daughter
at hospital in Denver.
She's starting treatment this afternoon.
Jakob, we only won because of Isaac.
He saved your land and
he saved your daughter's life.
You... will be in my prayers.
Father, please just look at me.
I'm still the same person.
[ Monitor beeping ]
[ Woman on P.A. speaking indistinctly ]
How's she doing?
Not so good.
Mom?
Hey.
Hi.
Oh.
You want me to read to you?
I want you to talk with me.
Okay.
Sweetheart, I'm sorry I meddle so much.
No.
You know what?
That's your way of showing
that you care about me.
I'm sorry I also embarrass you at times.
You express your feelings.
And I admire that.
I'm the one who's sorry.
I'm sorry that I haven't been
a better daughter.
You are always there for me.
But we both know the truth.
What?
You're not my daughter.
What?
You're not my daughter.
Ever since you were shot.
I never read
"Alice In Wonderland" to you.
A mother...
Knows her child.
You're not the same Janie.
But you're still my Janie.
And in ways...
I never imagined.
I love you.
Whoever you are.
I love you, too.
[ Flatline ]
Someone help.
Help.
Paul.
She's gone, Jane. I'm sorry.
[ Sobs ]
Jane.
I just heard.
I'm so sorry.
Thanks.
You know, she knew she was dying.
She just didn't want me to know.
She was an independent spirit.
[ Laughs ]
Just like you.
Yeah. Like me.
After Deb died, I bumped
into Elaine at the office.
Oh, yeah?
And she saw I was in pain,
so, uh, she grabbed my hand,
took me out onto the balcony.
She told me to scream.
[ Both chuckle ]
But I wouldn't do it,
so she started screaming
until I joined in.
Did it make you feel better?
I was hoarse for about a week.
But, yeah, it did.
Well, that's good.
Grayson.
Oh.
That's just great.
My mom dies, and you don't even
have the decency to let me know,
and then I find you out here
making out with him.
- That is really classy.
- I... I'm so sorry.
Brittney, I just found out she was sick.
And I wouldn't have known
how to contact you anyway.
I left a forwarding address
at my apartment.
You're smart. You could have reached out
so I could have said goodbye
to my own mother.
Jane, what's going on?
Why don't you tell him?
Tell me what?
Jane isn't really who you think she is.
Who is she?
Why don't you ask her?
That's me... Deb...
until the day I died.
I thought I'd go straight to heaven,
but there was a bit of a mix-up,
and I woke up in someone else's body.
[ Screams ]
So now I'm Jane,
a super-busy lawyer
with my very own assistant.
I got a new life, a new wardrobe,
and the only people who really
know what's going on with me
are my girlfriend Stacy
and my guardian angel, Paul.
I used to think everything
happened for a reason.
Whoo!
[ Laughs ]
Now, I sure hope I was right.
♪ LA, LA, LA, LA-LA-LA-LA
Drop Dead Diva 5x13 - Jane's Secret Revealed
Original air date November 3, 2013
Previously on "Drop Dead Diva"...
Oh, hi.
I thought you were someone else.
It's me... the real Jane.
And I want my life back.
Jane, he is crazy about you.
You need to go to him
and tell him how you feel.
Grayson, I have something
that I want to say to you.
I...
Jane! Your mother's in the hospital.
Sweetie, my mom is fine.
Your other mother. Jane's mom.
She collapsed.
What?!
Excuse me.
I'm looking for Elaine Bingum,
my mother.
She collapsed.
[ Laughs ]
...With Elizabeth Taylor.
We found her.
[ Laughs ]
[ Gasps ]
Janie!
Mom.
Ladies, this is my daughter,
the brilliant lawyer.
I gave them all your business cards
just in case they give a patient
the wrong pill or something.
Honey, you look flushed.
Have you been running?
Yeah. I've been worried about you, mom.
Can we have a moment, please?
- Sure.
- Thanks.
What are you doing here?
The hospital called.
They said you collapsed.
Oh. That.
Yeah, that.
I came to town to see a musical...
"Priscilla, Queen of the Desert."
Oh, I love that show.
- The boys are so pretty.
- Okay.
During intermission,
I got up too fast and fainted.
It's nothing.
The doctor just discharged me.
[ Chuckles ]
Oh, I gave him one
of your business cards, too.
Okay.
Stacy and I, we're gonna take you
back to our place so you can rest.
Honey, I don't want to be a bother.
Well... oh.
Mom, we would love it
if you would come stay with us
for a few days.
Well, if it wouldn't
be too much trouble.
Janie, let's go!
Elaine, this egg in a hat...
rocking my world.
Oh. [ Chuckles lightly ]
I love this guy.
Right back at you, Elaine.
Mom, you're supposed to be resting.
Cooking relaxes me.
Why are you all dressed up?
I have an interview.
For a nursery school.
What's he talking about?
Well, I have to get my little one
into the Buchman Academy.
It is the top
pre-pre-pre-pre-college in L.A.
Now, Stacy, the big question...
who's your baby daddy?
Well, Elaine, it is no secret,
but it is o...
...Nonymous.
Uh, s... she doesn't know her sperm donor.
Wait. I... I thought it was Owen.
Janie!
[ Clears throat ]
Stacy is your best friend.
Owen is your boss and your ex-fiancé.
Greek tragedies were less incestuous.
Listen, you should be resting,
you know, not interfering.
[ Gasps ]
So now I'm interfering?
Well...
[Scoffs] maybe I'd rest better
if perhaps you were capable
of handling your personal life.
All right.
Do me a favor and stay out
of my personal life.
[ Gasps ]
Stacy, good luck today.
So, Elaine, what's for lunch?
[ Door slams ]
Hey, Teri, I'm gonna be
a few minutes late.
Stopped to get a latte.
Yeah, all right. I'll get you one, too.
And a muffin.
[ Chuckles ]
Extra gluten?
A... all right. All right. Fine. Fine.
Wait. Blueberry or bran?
[ Horse whinnies ]
[ Horse snorts ]
Whoa.
Hey, you! You stole my horse!
- I got to go.
- I... I... I didn't steal your horse.
I just brought her inside
'cause she's overheated.
Let's see some I.D., now.
Uh, excuse me. Hi. I'm an attorney.
Before this escalates,
why don't we just see
if the horse is in danger?
Check her gums.
You'll see she needs water.
Well, okay. I admit,
Sally is a bit dehydrated.
So it looks like
this gentleman saved you
from violating CPL section
597(B)... animal cruelty.
There's a hose right outside.
[ Horse snorts ]
I'm Jakob Yordy.
Thank you for your assistance, ma'am.
Jane Bingum.
You don't look like
you're from around here.
Unless you're
in one of those hipster bands
or that's Gaultier.
I'm visiting
from Colorado Amish Country.
I'm here to see
the president of Ivar Oil.
For the past three days,
I've waited in the lobby
of his office building,
but he refuses to see me.
What's the problem? If I may ask.
Well, about six months ago,
we granted the oil company
permission to drill on our farm.
Now our groundwater's contaminated
and my youngest daughter,
Rebecca, took ill.
I'm so sorry.
Doctor says it's benzene poisoning
from contaminated well water.
And the only treatment
is an expensive bone-marrow transplant.
I came to ask the president
to stop the drilling
and to pay for my daughter's treatment.
You know, Mr. Yordy...
I've dealt with Ivar Oil before.
I'm going to arrange a meeting
for you today.
This is my burden, ma'am.
But since the lord
has put you in my path...
...I'd appreciate your help.
Grayson, your 10:00 A.M.
flogging is here.
Uh...
You must be Robin Nelson.
[ British accent ] When I'm dressed
for work, I prefer Lady Robin.
- I see.
- Normally I'd change,
but I've only got half an hour
before I need to get back to my dungeon.
Your dungeon.
- Uh, you must be a...
- Dominatrix.
- Right.
- Now, sit.
You, leave
and close the door behind you.
Should I walk or crawl?
Leave.
Yes, Lady Robin.
Wow. Teri never obeys like that.
Well, when a woman dresses like a man,
she usually needs a strong woman
to tell her what to do.
Now, about my case.
One of my clients, an executive
at a Fortune 500 company,
is refusing to pay a $14,000 invoice.
I need your help to collect.
Why would a rich guy fight you
over a bill?
Well, a few weeks ago, he showed up
without an appointment,
and I was booked.
He offered me 10 times my normal rate.
I said no, and he got angry.
I'll schedule a meeting with his lawyer.
- We'll get it worked out.
- No, you won't.
Okay.
I mean, we're due in court later today.
Oh.
One of my other clients, a lawyer,
had agreed to represent me,
but, well, let's just say
he got tied up.
If we're going to court,
you need to change
into something more...
conservative.
Agreed.
Most judges don't tend
to go for leather.
At least not in public anyway.
I'll see you at 3:00.
[ Exhales deeply ]
I am very sorry
about your daughter's illness.
But it's not our fault.
The land's been in my family
for generations.
The groundwater's never been
a problem until the drilling.
In fact, the family
can no longer use their wells.
We demand Ivar stop drilling
and immediately purify the water table.
We drill thousands of feet
below the underground aquifer.
Actually... [Chuckles]
you drill through the aquifer.
You promised to install
concrete barriers.
There's no written commitment
to provide such a barrier.
Hmm. An honest amish man
versus a big, bad oil company.
Well, we'll see what the jury
has to say about this one.
- Actually, miss Bingum...
- Mm-hmm.
...I'm not going to sue.
I came here to ask the oil company
to do the right thing and nothing more.
Uh, okay.
Mr. Yordy, you can't expect them
to clean up their mess
because you ask nicely.
Sermon on the mount.
"If anyone tries to sue you
for your shirt,"
"give him your cloak, as well."
The amish don't believe in lawsuits.
We're done here.
You knew he wouldn't sue, didn't you?
Well, I had a feeling.
You're disgusting.
And you are out of moves.
No, no, no. Actually,
that's where you're wrong.
I've got so many moves,
I'm like a legal ninja.
Miss Bingum, your client
doesn't want to fight.
Yeah, maybe so.
But I do. And I tend to win.
Hi, I'm Nancy Grace.
For those of you just joining us,
we are talking to a lawyer, Jane Bingum,
an attorney with
a bone to pick with Ivar Oil.
Jane Bingum, what do you know
about 8-year-old Rebecca Yordy?
Thank you, Nancy.
The oil company's broken promises
now threaten the life
of this little amish girl.
How so?
She's been drinking the tainted water,
and now her doctors say
she needs a lifesaving surgery.
And let me guess.
Ivar Oil won't pay for that?
You got it.
Shame on you, Ivar Oil!
Shame on you!
Jane, may I speak with Mr. Yordy?
Actually, Nancy, the amish believe
that broadcasting their image
demonstrates a lack of humility.
That's why there's no amish celebrities.
I see.
But your viewers can help Mr. Yordy
by pressuring the oil company
into doing the right thing.
We are calling for
a national boycott of Ivar Oil
until they take responsibility
for their actions,
clean up the water,
and pay for little Rebecca's
medical bills.
You heard her, everybody.
We are taking those
Ivar Oil S.O.B.s down!
Miss Nelson, tell us about
your client's unpaid invoice.
On August 9th, I ordered Mr. Osgood
to sit naked on a block of ice
while I read positive reviews
of his competitor's products.
How much for that session?
$500.
How about September 3rd?
I had him crawl to his Mercedes
on all fours wearing a leash,
and then we went for a drive,
and he barked at passing cars.
How much did you bill for that?
$775 plus gas.
One question.
Did my client ever tell you
he was dissatisfied?
All the time.
What did you do
after Mr. Osgood complained?
I told him to shut his filthy mouth
and ordered him to lick my boots.
[ Spectators gasp ]
He gladly complied.
Your Honor, we've made our case,
and the defendant has offered
no defense.
Agreed. Judgment is entered
in favor of Miss Nelson.
Great job on "Nancy Grace," boss.
Your cleavage looks amazing in HD.
Teri!
Oh. Sorry.
It's not a sin if it's true, right?
You have a good spirit, Miss Lee.
Thank you. And you have a very
hot visitor in Jane's office.
Uh, Zack Trent. He saw you on TV.
Hmm.
I saw your story on the news
and came right over.
And what are
the "clean water defenders"?
A nonprofit environmental group
dedicated to protecting
our nation's water reserves.
Mr. Yordy, I understand why
you can't file a lawsuit, but...
But the Supreme Court in
Lujan v. Defenders Of Wildlife
gives nonprofits
subject-matter jurisdiction.
[ Gasps ] - Oh!
- Exactly right.
I've already sent a team to take
water samples from your wells,
assuming that's okay with you.
I grew up on a family farm.
I understand what this land
means to you and your community.
Please...
Let me help.
Few burdens are heavy if everyone lifts.
Hi.
Am I interrupting?
Not at all. Everything okay?
Since our victory in court,
I've gotten four cancellations,
all from men Tripp Osgood
initially referred to me.
Well, friends can be loyal.
This isn't about loyalty.
Tripp's telling my clients
I can't be trusted with their secrets.
Ah. And in your line of work,
discretion is everything.
Trust is everything.
I mean, if they don't trust me,
I'm out of business.
Well, the truth is on your side.
We can sue for defamation.
- Thank you.
- Mm.
[ Speaking indistinctly ]
You've got feelings for her.
Excuse me?
You're a type-"A" lawyer,
fully focused on the task
at end, which is me,
but she drew your attention twice.
And look at your feet.
What about my feet?
Your body is facing towards the door,
but your feet changed direction
when she went into her office.
And that means something?
Men tend to point their feet in
the direction they want to go.
And you want to go towards her.
Anyway, thanks for your help.
[ Elevator bell dings ]
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey.
[ Chuckles ] Sorry.
I'm just a little frazzled.
Stacy, what's wrong?
I am a terrible mother.
I told you... it's okay
to watch "R"-rated movies
- when you're pregnant.
- Not that.
I just had an interview with
the Buchman Preschool Academy,
and it did not go well.
Stacy, your baby's not even born yet.
I met with the assistant
head of admissions,
if you don't meet
with the head of admissions,
you might as well just shop around
for second-tier preschools.
You know I play racquetball
with Eddie Buchman,
the school's founder?
No way.
[ Chuckles ]
Yes way.
Look, I think it's crazy
that you're shopping
for preschools at this point in time,
but if it's important to you,
I'm sure I can get us
an interview
with the head of admissions.
And I know we're not a couple,
but if I'm gonna call in this favor,
I got to tell him that it's my kid, too.
Are you cool with that?
Absolutely.
Whatever we have to do.
Okay.
Jane. Jane. Jane!
Your mom was coming to see you.
She passed out by the elevator.
- Oh, God.
- Paramedics are on the way.
[ Monitor beeping ]
[ Knock on door ]
Hey.
How is she?
Well, she slept through the night.
Guess it was just a dizzy spell.
But the doctors say she needs rest
and they want to hold her
for observation.
Oh. Thank you.
Um, listen, I got to get to the office,
but if she needs anything, call me.
You got it. I'll be with her all day.
Won't let her out of my sight.
Thank you.
These tests confirm that the groundwater
is contaminated with
benzene, xylene, and toluene.
Contaminants regularly found
at drilling sites.
That's right.
Proof that Rebecca's illness
was caused by the drilling.
We are each our own devil
and make this world our hell.
Jakob, once the judge sees
these test results,
I'm sure he'll rule in our favor.
Excuse me. There's someone here
to see Jakob.
- Isaac, this is Jane Bingum.
- Hello.
And I believe you know that man.
Papa...
I heard Rebecca's sick.
I saw the story on TV. I...
What just happened?
Miss Bingum, I've been shunned.
In the amish tradition,
we are baptized as adults.
At that point, we become
full members of the church
and we cannot leave.
But you did?
While I was on rumspringa,
I fell in love.
When I returned home,
she was all I could think about.
A year ago,
I left my family to be with her,
and now... now my father
will have nothing to do with me.
Yes, I'll admit it.
I was very upset that Lady Robin
took me to court
over a billing disagreement.
And you told other clients
you were upset.
She aired my personal business
in a public forum.
I felt a duty to tell my friends,
especially those whom I referred to her.
Thank you.
Mr. Kent?
You couldn't stand the fact
that Robin embarrassed you in court?
That's right.
So you decided to get even
by destroying her reputation?
Truth is a defense to defamation.
I just told the truth.
What happens in Lady Robin's dungeon
doesn't stay in Lady Robin's dungeon.
Deep drilling can contaminate water
if the chemicals used
in the drilling process
penetrate the aquifers.
And this analysis proves
that the water table
has been compromised?
Yes.
Your lab analysis found benzene levels
at 767 parts per million, correct?
Yes.
The report also found levels of xylene
at 893 parts per million?
Correct.
And it found toluene
at 347 parts per million?
Yes.
Your Honor, I'd like
to introduce into evidence
a 2009 E.P.A. water-quality report
taken from a contaminated well
in West Virginia.
Objection. How can a West Virginia
water-quality report be relevant
to this case in Colorado?
Oh, I'm about to make it very relevant.
Let's hear it.
Mr. Trent, would you please tell us
the levels of contaminants found
in the West Virginia well?
Uh...
767 ppm of benzene.
893 ppm of xylene.
349 ppm, toluene.
Identical parts per million,
yet these sites
are thousands of miles apart.
I would find that impossible.
- Wouldn't you?
- I'm not sure.
Mr. Trent, isn't it true
that you never conducted
any tests at the Colorado site,
but instead tried to pass off
an old West Virginia report
as pertaining to the amish site
in Colorado?
I might have mixed up the reports.
Your Honor, we move to strike
all of Mr. Trent's testimony,
as well as the lab report.
Motion granted.
We're adjourned for the day.
I am so, so sorry.
We could do another test.
[ Chuckles ]
You know that won't matter.
That jury's not gonna believe
another word I say.
You've destroyed our credibility.
Excuse me.
Miss Bingum.
I only wanted to help.
[ Mariachi band plays ]
[ Indistinct conversations ]
Oh, my God.
- Hey, Paul.
- Hey.
We need to talk.
What on earth is wrong with you?
I don't know how to answer that.
The doctors said Elaine needed to rest,
and you threw her a party?
Jane, it's not what it looks like.
Oh, okay, so there's not a mariachi
band in her hospital room?
- Yes, but...
- Now I have to go in there
and kick everybody out. Thanks a lot.
Jane.
What?
She's dying.
What?
She wouldn't let the doctors
tell you this, but, um...
They found a tumor on her brain stem.
It's why she was in L.A.
in the first place.
No... no. She was seeing a musical.
She was seeing a specialist.
Um, but there's not anything
they can do for her
and they don't give her a lot of time.
She only told me so that
I would help her with the party.
I... I have to talk to her.
- Hey.
- What?
Um, when you go back in there,
you need to respect her wishes.
So what am I supposed to do?
Just act like everything's fine
and normal?
You don't like it when she tells
you how to live your life, right?
Paul, this is completely different.
Jane, it's what she wants.
Give her that.
[ Music continues ]
Hey. Have you been out all night?
I was at the hospital again.
Can I have some of that coffee?
- Of course.
- Thanks.
Um, Stace...
Elaine is dying.
What?
She's got a brain tumor.
She doesn't know that I know.
She doesn't want you to worry.
I... I realize she's not
really my mom, you know?
But...
Right now that just doesn't matter.
I think that she loves you so much
and she doesn't want you to hurt
because when you hurt, she hurts.
I yelled at her
for interfering in my life.
What's wrong with me?
[ Scoffs ]
What daughter doesn't yell
at her mother for that?
[ Both laugh ]
Yeah.
Yeah, I guess you're right.
[ Telephone rings ]
Tripp did well on the stand,
but I'm sure the jury will
see him as an entitled bully.
What really gets to me is that
he's having fun at my expense.
There's no doubt in my mind
that he enjoys taking the stand.
Robin...
Is it possible he was... turned on?
What do you mean?
I mean, he clearly likes
to be humiliated.
Maybe he's not a vindictive
jerk, but more of a...
Masochist.
[ Chuckles ]
I should have seen it.
I mean, that's why
he didn't pay his bill
and that's why he called
my other clients.
He wanted me to sue him.
I need to rethink our strategy.
[ Sighs ]
Yesterday was a setback,
but I am not giving up.
I appreciate everything you've done.
Mm. Thank you.
But the courts won't find
justice where the Lord cannot.
Maybe so, but if Zack hadn't messed up,
we would be sitting pretty.
I never trusted Zack.
When we shook hands, I sensed falseness.
Really?
- Look at my hands.
- Hmm.
- They're rough.
- Yeah.
- Calloused.
- You know what?
I can recommend an excellent,
all-natural moisturizer.
You're missing my point.
Zack claimed to have grown up on a farm.
But his hands were soft.
He lied to us.
[ Chuckles ] Thank you so much
for meeting with us, miss Ortiz.
Of course, but I want to make it clear
that we only accept
the most qualified of children
here at the academy.
Well, we are talking about 3-year-olds.
They can't even spell yet.
You'd be surprised.
So, our evaluation of the parents
is central to our admissions decisions.
Oh, ask me anything you want,
but if you're going to quiz me
on state capitals,
then I need to reschedule
in like a month.
Let me be honest.
You seem like a lovely couple,
but our preschool class
already has a wait list.
Let me suggest some very fine
backup academies.
I think we've heard enough.
- Stacy, let's g...
- Hold on.
Don't listen to him.
He's just the sperm donor.
I am a single mother,
and I will not allow you
to reject my child.
- Did you say "sperm donor"?
- Is that a problem?
Because under the law,
you cannot discriminate...
Stop.
Are you an unmarried, heterosexual,
artificially inseminated couple?
Yes, we are a proud
unmarried, heterosexual,
artificially inseminated couple.
Wow. We need our own flag or bracelets.
Diversity is a priority here at Buchman.
I might actually have a place
for your child.
- Really?
- I can't guarantee it.
There are other factors to consider.
What other factors?
Well, we're currently running
our summer campaign,
raising money for an indoor pool.
[ Scoffs ]
No problem. How much?
Oh, I'd never be so crass
as to suggest an amount.
But?
We are currently
about $25,000 short of our goal.
Can I pay in installments?
Okay. We've heard enough.
Stacy, let's go.
Actually, I'd like to hear
a little bit more.
- Stacy.
- I'm so sorry.
Will you excuse me?
Owen. Owen!
Where are you going?
To get away
from this academic shakedown.
If I were still a judge,
I'd throw that woman in jail
for soliciting a bribe.
But this is not a courtroom,
and I am trying
to get that woman to accept my child
into the highest-rated school
in the state.
There are plenty of great schools
that don't require pandering.
Ugh! Whatever that means,
I am not asking for your money.
And personally,
I can't imagine a better way
to spend my money
than on my child's education.
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have a big, fat check to write.
I'm sorry for the mix-up.
Miss Bingum asked me
to apologize to Your Honor in person.
Well, actually, I asked you
here, but not to apologize.
- Excuse me?
- What's going on?
See, I've discovered something
about Zack Trent.
He has really soft hands.
Soft hands?
Like a baby.
Obviously, he didn't do
a day's work on that farm.
So I went ahead
and did a little digging,
and it turns out that if you do
a Google search on Zack Trent,
exactly six articles pop up
about him and his
environmental organization.
And this is relevant because...?
Because, I mean, such a big organization
like Clean Water Defenders...
I'd expect a little more press.
We're not about publicity.
We're about results.
Anyways, I decided
to contact the authors
of each of these articles,
but they don't exist,
which made me wonder if
Zack Trent is even a real name.
And guess what.
I'm guessing it's not.
Yeah.
Our alleged tree hugger's
real name is David Clemens.
David changed his name
after working in the Public
Relations Department of...
now, wait for it... Ivar Oil.
There's nothing illegal about that.
Clean Water Defenders
is a wolf in sheep's clothing
pretending to represent
environmental causes
but actually working against them.
And Clean Water Defenders,
it's backed by a fund created
by the president of...
- Ivar Oil.
- ...Ivar Oil.
Your Honor, I had no idea.
Even if that's true,
your bosses sure did.
And by creating
a fake environmental group,
this man deliberately made our
legitimate claims ring false.
I'll be reporting Mr. Trent and
Ivar Oil to the D.A.'s Office.
But since the Clean Water Defenders
is not an appropriate plaintiff,
I'll be forced to dismiss...
unless I can find a substitute.
- Can you?
- I'm gonna try.
[ Door closes ]
Hey, boss. How'd it go?
Unless we can find someone
to legally bring the suit,
we're gonna lose.
Jakob...
Will you please reconsider?
[ Elevator bell dings ]
It would violate everything I stand for.
Why don't I just become amish?
I mean, what do you say?
You and me, Jakob, milking goats
and raising barns.
Teri, you're a genius.
I know, but I couldn't really convert.
I mean, I hear
the pretzels are delicious,
but the bonnet would give me hat hair.
No offense.
Teri, walk with me. One moment.
Are you gonna yell at me for
coming on to the hot amish man?
- Because I am who I am.
- No. God, I love you for it.
Listen, I've got to go to
the hospital and visit my mom.
I need you to track down
Isaac Yordy, Jakob's son.
- Okay. Why?
- He's our only hope.
[ Monitor beeping ]
Hi.
How are you feeling?
[ Monitor beeping ]
Where's Paul?
He went to go get some water.
I forgot my reading glasses.
He's been reading to me.
"Alice In Wonderland."
You remember when I read that
to you when you were little?
Of course. Yeah, yeah.
Would you mind picking up
where he left off?
Yeah.
Okay. Let's see here.
"Alice came to a fork in the road."
"'Which road do I take?' She asked."
"'Where do you want to go?'
Responded the Cheshire Cat."
"'I don't know, ' Alice answered."
"'Then, ' said the cat,
'it doesn't matter.'"
[ Cellphone rings ]
Sorry.
Go on.
Okay.
Read your text.
It's not important.
What you do is very important.
Read it.
Okay.
[ Beep ]
Just work.
Do they need you?
It can wait.
[ Chuckles ]
Janie...
Go do your job.
Make me proud.
I insist.
I'll be back as soon as I can.
I know you will.
And I'll be here.
[ Chuckles ]
Mr. Osgood, we have a proposal.
If you continue to defame Robin,
we'll drop the suit immediately.
I'm sorry. Maybe I heard you wrong.
But you're supposed to drop
the suit if he stops defaming,
not the other way around.
Not in this case.
I don't understand.
I think Tripp understands.
I do.
Whatever she wants, I'll do it.
You'll start by calling
all of Robin's clients.
Stop.
I want Lady Robin
to issue my instructions.
You'll take back everything
you said to my clients
that harmed my business.
And what exactly should I say?
Tell them you're a filthy,
lying, worthless human being.
And...
[ Whispering indistinctly ]
[ Clears throat ]
I can do that.
All of it.
And I'd like to schedule a time
with you for tomorrow.
I'll pay in advance.
I'm sorry I'm late.
I would like to introduce
my new plaintiff...
Isaac Yordy, Jakob Yordy's son.
Your Honor, this man has no standing.
He's not a member of the amish
community. He's been shunned.
My sister is dying, Your Honor.
I'm asking the court to recognize me
even if my father won't.
[ Sighs ]
Young man, I wish I could,
but you don't qualify as a plaintiff.
Well, actually he does.
Per the family land deeds,
Isaac owns five acres
left to him by his grandfather.
Is this all true?
I am here to help. Please.
Few burdens are heavy if everyone lifts.
Yes. It is true.
My father saved each of his
grandchildren a parcel of land.
He died before Isaac left us.
Then I'm issuing an injunction
preventing any further drilling
and awarding compensatory
damages plus medical costs
for Isaac Yordy's sister Rebecca.
Whoa. Hold on, Your Honor.
That is excessive.
I'm also ordering your client
to put $10 million
in an escrow account to pay
for any future remediation.
[ Gasps ]
We're done here.
[ Laughs ]
[ Knock on glass ]
- Hey.
- Hey.
Do you have a minute?
Yeah, of course.
You were right.
My first action as a mother
should not be to engage
in criminal activity.
It wasn't really criminal.
It was a bribe. And it was shady.
Can I ask you something?
Why was that school so important to you?
Because I'm not as smart
as you think I am.
And a school like Buchman
will give my child
an advantage that I can't.
See, you're brilliant,
and you take it for granted that
this kid is gonna be like you,
but what if he or she is like me?
[ Sighs ]
You know what?
You don't give yourself enough credit.
Do you really think
that you could have started
a successful business
if you weren't smart?
Stacy, the pakery was genius.
And come on. You picked me
to be your sperm donor.
[ Laughs ] What does that
got to do with anything?
You picked a guy like me.
That shows a high level of intelligence.
Stacy, I will always be there
to support you and your child.
[ Chuckles ]
Our child.
[ Chuckles lightly ]
Okay.
[ Sighs ]
The court has ordered Ivar Oil
to issue their first check.
Here you go.
This is truly a miracle.
[ Chuckles ]
Papa.
Please tell Rebecca and mother
that I miss them.
Miss Bingum, my train leaves in an hour.
I'm meeting my daughter
at hospital in Denver.
She's starting treatment this afternoon.
Jakob, we only won because of Isaac.
He saved your land and
he saved your daughter's life.
You... will be in my prayers.
Father, please just look at me.
I'm still the same person.
[ Monitor beeping ]
[ Woman on P.A. speaking indistinctly ]
How's she doing?
Not so good.
Mom?
Hey.
Hi.
Oh.
You want me to read to you?
I want you to talk with me.
Okay.
Sweetheart, I'm sorry I meddle so much.
No.
You know what?
That's your way of showing
that you care about me.
I'm sorry I also embarrass you at times.
You express your feelings.
And I admire that.
I'm the one who's sorry.
I'm sorry that I haven't been
a better daughter.
You are always there for me.
But we both know the truth.
What?
You're not my daughter.
What?
You're not my daughter.
Ever since you were shot.
I never read
"Alice In Wonderland" to you.
A mother...
Knows her child.
You're not the same Janie.
But you're still my Janie.
And in ways...
I never imagined.
I love you.
Whoever you are.
I love you, too.
[ Flatline ]
Someone help.
Help.
Paul.
She's gone, Jane. I'm sorry.
[ Sobs ]
Jane.
I just heard.
I'm so sorry.
Thanks.
You know, she knew she was dying.
She just didn't want me to know.
She was an independent spirit.
[ Laughs ]
Just like you.
Yeah. Like me.
After Deb died, I bumped
into Elaine at the office.
Oh, yeah?
And she saw I was in pain,
so, uh, she grabbed my hand,
took me out onto the balcony.
She told me to scream.
[ Both chuckle ]
But I wouldn't do it,
so she started screaming
until I joined in.
Did it make you feel better?
I was hoarse for about a week.
But, yeah, it did.
Well, that's good.
Grayson.
Oh.
That's just great.
My mom dies, and you don't even
have the decency to let me know,
and then I find you out here
making out with him.
- That is really classy.
- I... I'm so sorry.
Brittney, I just found out she was sick.
And I wouldn't have known
how to contact you anyway.
I left a forwarding address
at my apartment.
You're smart. You could have reached out
so I could have said goodbye
to my own mother.
Jane, what's going on?
Why don't you tell him?
Tell me what?
Jane isn't really who you think she is.
Who is she?
Why don't you ask her?