Drop Dead Diva (2009–2014): Season 2, Episode 5 - Senti-Mental Journey - full transcript

♪

JANE: Sea that aspiring modal there?
That was ma, Deb,

until the day I died.

I thought I'd go straight to heaven,
but there was a bit of a mix-up

and I woke up
in someone else's body.

So now I'm Jane, a super-busy lawyer
with my very own assistant.

I got a new life, a new wardrobe.

The only people
who know what's going on with me

are my girlfriend, Stacy,
and my guardian angel, Fred.

I used to think
everything happened for a reason.

And, well, I sure hope I was right.



[AMY KUNEY'S 'PERFECT DAY'
PLAYING]

Breakfast of champions?

Twizzlers are a food group, right?

I don't wanna live in a world
where they're not.

I heard that Tony left for D.C.

How are you doing with that?
Uh... I'm really excited for him.

It's a great opportunity.

Yeah, it's the pits.
The worst.

Hey, how about I take you out
for a real breakfast?

I've got nothing till 10.
That sounds great. Heh, heh, heh.

Jane, the ADA is on the phone.
I'm busy.

You gotta bail someone out.

I have a full case load.

You're gonna wanna do this.
Trust me, I don't.



It's your mother.

Rain check.
Anytime. Hope she's okay.

Thanks.

♪

[ELAINE SINGING
"FRANKIE AND JOHNNY"]

Loretta, that's your cue!
Let's do it again! Oh!

[SINGING]

Janie! Oh, you look fantastic.

Oh, thank you.

Are you okay?
I'm terrific.

You're terrific? You're in jail.

I didn't even know you were in town.
It was a spontaneous trip.

I went to the theater, saw Chicago,
which, by the way, fantabulous,

and I thought I'd do a little shopping.
I was minding my own business when...

God, you look gorgeous
in cool colors.

You know you're a winter.
I know.

So, Mom, I have your file here.

Assault, disorderly conduct,
indecent exposure?

What happened?

I was hot.

I took my sandals off
and had my feet in the fountain

when this ignoramus mall cop
told me I had to get out.

I was defending myself and, heh,
things got a little out of hand.

The police took
a blood alcohol test.

Were you drinking?
Of course not.

When did Fashion Square
become Tiananmen Square?

This is serious.
Oh, poo-poo-poo.

Oh, I know how to cheer you up.

[SINGING "WALKING ON SUNSHINE"]

Mom...

[SINGING]

Please stop.
Sing with me.

[SINGING]

We have to go to court now.
Okey-dokey.

Are you sure you're okay?
I'm fantabulous!

Bye, girls!

[HUMMING]

Oh, yeah.

♪

Hello, Fred.
I'm late. I know.

Again.
Interesting story.

I was on the 780 bus
and transferred to the 757,

but a water main broke.
I ran eight blocks to catch the 335...

I thought you carpooled
with Jane?

When we can, but sometimes I take
the bus. I don't know how to drive.

Well, if you want to
keep this job, learn.

Hello, Mr. Parker.

I was, uh, looking for
the deposition for the...

Cooper case.

Fred, get the Cooper depo
for Mr. Parker.

Right away.

Uh...

There's something on your lip, sir.

It's right about...
it's right about here.

Is that lipstick?

Tangerine Dream.

Kim had me get some
for her... yesterday.

♪

it's a good color on you, sir.

Is this something
I have to worry about?

Absolutely not.

Understood?
Completely.

Does he still need me
to get the Cooper deposition?

What do you think?

Excuse me, you're a lawyer, right?
Last I checked.

Who are you?
I'm Joan Finer.

I don't have an appointment, and
according to every lawyer I spoke to,

I don't have a case.

So you snuck past reception
and found a junior associate

without an assistant to stop you.

Are you gonna kick me out?
Not until I hear it.

I'm an idiot.
Not a great start.

I invested all of my money
with Max Adams.

Oh, no.
I never should have trusted him.

But he was Max Adams. His company
had been around for decades.

I never dreamed it was some
Ponzi scheme.

Yeah, he was very good
at what he did until he got caught.

Look, I bust my ass
on a teacher's salary,

and he is out on bail,
probably having lobster for lunch.

Mr. Kent, I want my money back.
And I am willing to fight for it.

Ms. Finer,

you've come to the right guy.

Did you just roll your eyes,
Miss Davenport?

Hello? I'm not your mother.
I'm a superior-court judge.

And I hold your fate in my hands.
So knock it off.

She seems mean.

Actually, she's fair.
And a friend.

Okay, on the
criminal-mischief conviction,

which covers
all of your colorful graffiti,

I'm sentencing you
to 60 days of art school

at the Lynwood
Correctional Facility.

Ha, ha, ha.
Enjoy your stay.

Docket ending 342.

The State of California
v. Elaine Bingum?

Your Honor,
the defendant is charged

with aggravated assault
and indecent exposure.

The state recommends 30 days in jail
and that bail be set at $10,000.

What? That's insane!
It's appropriate, Your Honor.

Counsel, approach the bench.
Yeah.

Jane, is that your mother?

Yes.

Sure you should be representing her?
Yes, it's fine.

I mean, I know what I'm doing.

Suit yourself. Proceed, counsel.

Your Honor, my client should be
released on her own recognizance.

There is a perfectly good explanation
for her actions.

Indecent exposure?
Well, it wouldn't be if I was 19.

It's only indecent because I'm over 50.
Heh, heh.

My client is truly remorseful
for her actions.

This is hardly the face of remorse.

Really?

♪

I'm ordering
a psychological evaluation.

That's a total waste of time.
You're not helping.

And I'm granting the ROR.
Thank you, Your Honor.

Under one condition.
That she's released into your custody.

You have to keep a tight rein on her,
Ms. Bingum.

Do you understand?
We get it.

We're glued at the hip,
right, Janie?

That's right, Mom.

♪

ELAINE: I just took my shoes
off to get into the water.

It was 100 degrees,
for Pete's sake.

Mom, I will handle this. Paul.

Three little misdemeanors?

What do you say we dismiss
with time served and call it a day?

I'd like to, but it would be
malfeasance, given her priors.

Malfeasance. Ooh.
Sounds dirty. Heh, heh.

Priors? What are you
talking about, priors?

He must have seen my rap sheet.

You have a rap sheet?

Convicted of shoplifting,
trespassing, arson.

All in the past few years.
Jane, my hands are tied.

♪

JANE: How could you not
tell me you had priors?

ELAINE: What do you mean?
You know about the shoplifting.

You got me off.

I did?

Like I was gonna, you know,
steal a $500 wallet.

I didn't know it was still in my
hand when I walked out of the store.

We're lucky that judge
thought I was adorable.

Okay. What about the arson?
I was having a little luau

and my tiki torches accidentally set
the neighbor's tool shed on fire.

That thing was
an eyesore anyways.

And the trespass?
I was using a neighbor's Jacuzzi.

How was I to know their trip to Borneo
would be cut short by a typhoon?

It's all so ridiculous!
Okay.

You have to tell me the truth.

Do you have a drinking problem?

I enjoy a fuzzy navel
every now and again,

but I am no boozehound.

We're sorry about your client's
financial predicament,

but there's nothing we can do.

You promised a 20 percent return.
You said my money was secure.

You had strategies, experience.
You cleaned me out.

You have my sympathy, Ms. Finer.

But my philosophy
has always been

investments, like life,
are unpredictable.

When you hand over money,
it's a calculated gamble.

Is that a life lesson?
Because you're under indictment.

You're the last one
who should be teaching.

If you look at what
our client is asking for...

What you call a calculated gamble,
I call a con!

How's this for a life lesson: Never trust
a scum-sucking bottom feeder!

If you'll excuse us. Let's go.
Yes.

Like to kick a man when he's down?
When he deserves it.

Maybe you didn't hear the news.

Mr. Adams was just diagnosed
with stage four pancreatic cancer.

You have a nice day.

The Rulings of Justice
William O. Douglas. Snore!

[snores]

Ha, ha, ha. I don't know how
you made it through law school

without lapsing into a coma.

You know, I got the smarts to be
a lawyer, even a judge.

I always know exactly what
Judge Judy ends up saying.

Here you go, Elaine.
You left your purse in the ladies' room.

For crying out loud.
Ha, ha, ha.

I was busy talking to the girl
in the next stall.

Yeah, that was me.

The L.A.P.D. just faxed over
a copy of her blood test.

No alcohol.
What did I tell you?

But there were trace metabolites
of escitalopram.

Trace metabolites?

Well, heh, heh, heh,
aren't you Mrs. David Caruso.

I was feeling a little blue

and my GP gave me a prescription
for antidepressants. No biggie.

What if there's something
actually wrong with you?

Like an aneurysm or a tumor.

Can't you just accept
that your mother's a little eccentric?

She thinks I should be staying home
all day baking cookies.

Cookie! That might hit the spot.

Are there still free Oreos
in the kitchen?

Yeah.

Yay.

Okay. I don't understand this.

She was not like this
when she was here before.

Something's going on.
She's always offbeat, now she's just off.

Maybe it's menopause.
No way.

There's been no weeping, sweating
or throwing a flank steak.

My mom had a rough time.

Oh, the doctor doing
the psych evaluation called.

A family member has to back up
her medical history.

I told him you would do it.

Oh. Okay. Um... You know what?

Maybe my dad can help with this.

Yeah, like that would ever happen.

Since they split, you say his name,
she walks out.

Well, then I'll call him.

Okay, but you haven't talked
to Henry in, like, forever.

Well, then maybe forever
ends today.

You have a 2 p.m. deposition
at Gottwald & Suskind

and a 3:15 conference call
with Gary Simmons of...

We still on for lunch?
Absolutely.

But you brought your lunch today.

Vietnamese chicken wrap.

I'll get my jacket.

What was that?

Reminding you you don't
have to go to lunch because...

I'll be back when I'm back.

And I was serious earlier,
learn how to drive.

Teri, you must be a good driver

since you fit your big SUV in that
tiny compact-only spot every morning.

Yes, I am an excellent driver.

Will you teach me?

You don't know how?
Nobody drives where I'm from.

Oh, you're from New York?
A little further north.

What's in it for me?
Lunch.

I've done more for less.
Great.

Thanks for babysitting Elaine,
my mom.

Oh, and if she asks, do not tell
her I'm meeting Henry, my dad.

She'll freak out.
No problem.

So, what do you wear to meet
a father you've never met?

Seersucker. Light and breezy.

That was a rhetorical question.
Oh. Then definitely denim.

Going out?
Uh... Yeah.

Is it a date?
No.

Uh-huh. What's he like?

Uh, I've never met him before.
Oh, a blind date! Heh, heh, heh.

Those are a crap shoot.

One time I was set up with a guy
who brought his mother.

At least she could dance.

Oh, God, I feel like driving to Vegas.

Don't worry. it'll be okay.
Thanks, Since.

I am nervous.

Teri says I haven't talked
to my dad in 10 years.

I have no idea why.

Maybe you did something really awful
and he hasn't forgiven you yet.

Thanks. it's really comforting.

Or he did something unforgivable.

Or maybe we never got along.
This is crazy.

I'm in the middle
of a family drama,

and it's not
even my family. No.

It's really nice to see you.

You just said that.

But it's nice
to see you too, Dad.

It's been a long time, jellybean.
Yeah.

So like I was saying on the phone,
we really need to talk about mom.

You know, I'm surprised
you ordered a drink.

Why? Am I allergic?
No, no.

But after your feminist studies class,
you swore off liquor

because the patriarchal
and sexist alcohol industry

objectified women
through their advertising.

Oh. Heh, heh.
Well, I guess I got over that.

Please come with me to mom's
doctor's appointment tomorrow.

Not a good idea.

I don't know what's
going on with her.

Welcome to my world.
The last few years were tough.

One day she'd want to open
a bed and breakfast in Maui,

the next she'd bring home
French bulldogs to breed.

But she wasn't always like that, right?
Oh, God, no.

We had so much fun.
We'd go dancing and hiking.

Fridays were always game night.
Remember?

Uh-huh. Yeah.

Mom would make chicken pot pie
and we'd play charades

and laugh for hours.

I felt like the luckiest guy
in the world.

Then it changed.
I couldn't reach her.

So, what about me?

What about you?

We haven't spoken in a longtime...
I left you so many messages.

I understand why you didn't call.

You were angry because
I left your mother.

But I swear to you, the last thing
I ever wanted was to hurt you.

♪

Scum-sucking bottom feeder?

I've never seen you lose it like that.
I meant it.

Your face was purple.
He knows exactly how I feel.

And our client enjoyed the show,
but what's next?

You're dropping this case.
What?

I got off the phone
with Mr. Adams' attorney.

Even if you win,
your client won't see a dime.

What are you doing, Grayson?
It's a long shot.

It's a lost cause.

Adams' remaining assets will be
liquidated to pay his legal fees,

which are going
to Bellson and Tweed.

Know how much work they send us?
You're stepping on their toes.

I want you both
to cut your losses.

♪

The image of Jesus on a pancake
went for $15,000 on eBay

and I'm the one who needs
a psychological exam? Ha!

Please.

Hi.
Henry?

Hello, Elaine.

What is he doing here?
I asked him to come.

You ambushed me.
Don't blame Jane.

She's just trying to help.

How do you like that?
Two against one.

Some things never change.
That's not how it was and you know it.

Can we not do this here, please?
I'm leaving.

This exam isn't voluntary.

Hi, I'm Dr. Landers.
Hi.

Mrs. Bingum,
why don't you come in.

[CAR HORNS HONKING]

Move it!

What the...?
Come on!

MAN:
Get off the road!

[PEOPLE SHOUTING]

[HORN HONKING]

See? I'm a natural.

Don't talk, I'm nauseous.

There's things they don't teach
in the DMV handbook.

If someone pisses you off,

just lay on your horn
and use your middle finger.

Horn, middle finger. Got it.

[POLICE SIREN WAILS]

COP:
You in the Jeep, pull over!

Hey!
But you said...

Not to a cop!
You don't have a license.

Just pull over
and make something up.

Tell them I'm sick
and you're driving me to the hospital.

[SIREN WAILS]

License and registration.

I'm assuming
you don't have a license.

That's correct, officer. I'm sorry.
it's embarrassing to admit.

I mean, I'm an adult
and I don't know how to drive.

Thank you for your honesty.

Most people make up some B.S.
about being sick,

having to go to the hospital
to get out of the ticket.

How lame is that?

Well, I'm giving you a warning.

Your back taillight is out.
That's it?

I'd suggest
you hike over the wheel

until your boyfriend here
gets his learner's permit.

Oh, him and me? No, no, no.
I'm just his driving instructor.

Hey, your badge says
"to protect and defend."

That is what I do.

Really?

Auxiliary police?

Sort of. Yeah.

You have a nice smile.

Thank you, officer. Um...

You have very attractive ears.
Heh.

If it isn't inappropriate, maybe
we should grab a drink sometime?

I would enjoy that, officer.

I'm Jocelyn.

Give me your number
and I'll give you a call.

There you are.

Take care of that taillight.

I love driving.

So based on my examination, I've
concluded your mother is bipolar.

What? Ha, ha.
I am not crazy.

If I'm crazy, then half this city is.

Have you been to
a 24-hour doughnut shop?

Everyone is certifiable.

It's common for people with bipolar
disorder to feel as if nothing is wrong.

Nothing is wrong.
I feel fantastic.

Elaine, you feel great now
because you're in a manic state.

There's another side of this syndrome
which manifests as depression.

If your condition is left untreated,
it can be dangerous.

But it can be treated, right?

With the right medication,
therapy and exercise,

you can lead
a completely normal life.

I am living a normal life. My normal.

Elaine, please don't run away
from this.

It's not your business.
You cheated on me.

Elaine.
You left me.

You do not get a vote on my life.

♪

I still haven't heard
from Officer Jocelyn.

You know how people are.

They buy you a drink,
tell you you're hotter than Lucy Liu,

say they're gonna call,
then nothing. Jerk.

[PHONE RINGING]

It's her.
Don't be desperate.

I was afraid you wouldn't call.
Oh, that's perfect.

Tomorrow's great.

At Harrison and Parker,
or I could take the bus.

I can't wait.

She's picking me up here.
What am I gonna wear?

Well, since she's wearing the pants,
I'd go with a tube top and short shorts.

The sarcasm? it's borderline bitter.

You think I'm bitter?
Um...

Jane available?

Hey, how's it going with your mom?
Oh, thanks for asking.

Don't ask.
Heh, heh. Okay.

Sol hear Parker's
not real happy with you.

That would be an understatement.

I'm not dropping this case.

I saw Max Adams and his girlfriend
in the paper today.

There's a woman
who has a radar for money.

Her radar's malfunctioning.

I've subpoenaed his financial records.
He's got nothing left.

Well, she's not with him for the
quiet evenings of chess and Chopin.

So there is cash somewhere.

Are you saying I missed something?
I'm not doing a good job?

No.

I just was making an observation.

You're really taking
this case personally. Why?

I feel bad for my client.

She's a teacher, lost everything.

I believe that you care
about your client.

But you never lose your temper.

You don't know me that well, Jane.

Right.

I gotta go.

♪

This says the symptoms
of bipolar syndrome

were first described
in the 2nd century.

Wow. People have been moody
for a very long time.

Hey, Jane, could...?

Um...

Can I, uh,
talk to you for a minute?

What's up?

Excuse me.

Ahem. I, uh...
I need your help.

Is it wrong for me to go out
with somebody else

when I'm still in love with...

Ah...

I mean, I like this woman,
Officer Jocelyn,

but we both know that...

is the one.

You can go out with whomever
you want until...is interested.

ELAINE:
God, I'm going stir crazy.

Will you let me go out to the patio
or do I have to wear a GPS anklet?

Well, actually I'm going to the mall
to pick out some new threads.

You want to come with me?
If it's okay with El Comandante.

Sure, you can buy something to wear
for the hearing tomorrow.

I promise to get something
that screams normal.

Fred, do not let her
out of your sight.

Or anywhere near a fountain.

ELAINE: Bye.
Bye.

Okay. This book says
bipolar disorder is genetic.

So that means...

I could have inherited it.
Yeah.

There's so much
I don't know about this body.

Oh! Never mind. The onset usually
occurs between the ages of 15 and 30.

Oh.
You're way past that.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Now, that was fast.

Hi, I'm...
My dad.

Oh. Nice to meet you. I'm Stacy.
Hi.

Can we talk?

Sure.

Oh, I'll be in my room.

Wow.
Oh, yeah. Heh, heh, heh.

So I'm glad we're back in touch again.
I've really missed you.

Yeah. I'm sorry I didn't call sooner.
I guess I just wasn't ready till now.

It's okay.

I came by to let you know
I'm heading back to Palm Springs.

Why?

I was really hoping
you would be in court tomorrow.

The judge might be
lenient on mom

because we can show
that she's bipolar.

Your mom wants nothing
to do with me. I just get her angry.

But she needs your help.
She needs to help herself.

So you're just gonna leave again?

I know you care about her.
I do.

But until she deals with her problem,
nothing is ever gonna change.

I'm sorry, jellybean.

ADAMS: Where do you want to go?
REESA: Shopping.

Mr. Adams.

Back away or I will move
for a restraining order.

I want to apologize.

I'm terribly sorry, sir. I would never
raise my voice to a dying man.

Especially one with
a large life insurance policy.

Life insurance policies are exempt
from lawsuits like yours.

I'm aware of that.

That's why we intend
to pursue Reesa Venable,

the beneficiary
of the 5-million-dollar policy.

[CHUCKLES]

He can't do that, can he?

Given the circumstances,
a court might find the entire policy

to be a fraudulent conveyance.

Is Parker aware you're continuing
this nonsense?

That's my business, not yours.

Well, this isn't the time or place.
My office. One o'clock.

LANDERS:
It's classic manic behavior.

Impulsive, reckless, poor judgment,
an inflated sense of importance.

Oh, come on, it's funny!
JANE: Shh.

Mrs. Bingum, please try to respect
these proceedings.

Continue, counselor.

Dr. Landers,
you examined Mrs. Bingum?

Would you share
your conclusions with the court?

She meets the criteria
for bipolar disorder

under section 340.2
of the DSM.

At the time of the incident,

her blood work revealed
an antidepressant called escitalopram.

Is that a proper way
to treat bipolar disorder?

No. When a bipolar patient
is given escitalopram,

it can trigger
a full-on manic phase.

That's what happened
to Mrs. Bingum.

She was no longer
in control of her actions.

No longer in control.

Thank you.

Dr. Landers,

if a patient knew
she were bipolar

and asked for a prescription
of antidepressants

wouldn't she be responsible
for her own actions?

Yes, of course.

Were you aware Elaine Bingum was
diagnosed bipolar 15 years ago?

Is that true?

I had no idea.

Records from
the Yucaipa Health Clinic

first diagnosing Ms. Elaine Bingum
with bipolar disorder.

June 1995.

Now, stop talking about me
like I'm not in the room.

SUMMERS:
Okay. That's enough.

I want defense counsel
in my chambers now.

Stacy, go.
What?

Please, go!

SUMMERS:
What the hell's going on, Jane?

If you tried to hide the fact your mom
was previously diagnosed with this,

you're guilty of perjury.
I didn't know.

She's your mother, Jane.
How did you not know?

Well, no one knew. Not even
my father. And that is the truth.

Go out there, find her,
and bring her back.

I will. I promise.

And if she disappears, Jane,
I'm gonna have to issue a warrant.

For both of you.

Okay.

Whoa, whoa.
I told you to drop your case.

I don't want the firm involved.
It isn't.

I amended the notice to my address.
I'm doing this on my own.

Then get a table at Denny's,
not my conference room.

Bill me.

You're violating your agreement.
Then fire me.

Our top associates have researched
Mr. Adams' life insurance policy

and assure me it's bulletproof.

"Your top associates"?
That can be pretty pricey.

What do you bill them at,
400 an hour?

That's not relevant.

It is to whoever pays the
bill, which is Ms. Venable.

In order to pay
their associates,

they have to borrow
against the policy.

The more they borrow,
the less you get

when Mr. Adams passes away.

Instead of talking about fees,

we should discuss
withdrawal of your claim.

Do the math.
You can continue to allow them

to blow through your money
to pay for this zealous defense,

or you can cut a reasonable deal
to my client right now.

Reesa, they're harassing you into
a settlement. Don't let them do this.

It's about the principle.

The principle?

Does that mean
you'll be waiving your fees?

We can win this.
That's not what I asked.

Ms. Finer,

I'll agree to pay you
everything you lost.

Plus attorney fees.
Okay.

As long as we keep this
out of the press.

And you're no longer
representing me.

Max, talk to her.

You heard the lady.
You're off the clock.

I'll draw up the papers.

FINER:
Thank you!

Hey.

Thanks, Since.
No problem.

Oh, your mom threw her shoes
down a storm drain,

so I gave her the Swarovski crystal
flip-flops that I had in my car.

They will look great in court,
you can dress them up or down.

Thanks, Since.
You're welcome.

Okay. Bye. Bye.

You okay?

I know that you are upset,

but I'm only doing
what I think is right.

Please talk to me.

[SINGING
'WALKING ON SUNSHINE']

[SINGING]

[CHUCKLES]

Honey, I didn't mean
to keep it from you.

I just felt so ashamed.

I barely admitted being bipolar
to myself.

That is the first time
I have ever said it out loud.

You don't have to be embarrassed.

But you do have to deal with it.

I tried the drugs.

They made me feel like
somebody else.

I would look in the mirror
and I wouldn't even recognize myself.

You have no idea what that is like.

Try me.

Listen, I have been doing
some reading,

and the medications
have really improved.

The doctor just has to find
the right balance.

It scares me, Janie.

I know.

I know, Mom.

SUMMERS: Welcome back, Mrs. Bingum.
Let me tell you how we will proceed.

There will be no more wasting time.

You either make a commitment
to go into a treatment program,

or you go to jail.

Your Honor, may I please implore...
No. Mr. Saginaw, you may not.

You will go along with this decision,
or, trust me,

next time you're in my courtroom
I will remember you.

There is one caveat,
and that is that someone

needs to be responsible
for Mrs. Bingum

while she's in
outpatient treatment.

I will, Your Honor.

If Elaine promises to get on the
right medication and stay on it,

I'd like to move back in with her.
If she'll have me.

Your Honor, can we have a moment?
Take your time, counselor.

I know you believe I cheated
on you, but I never did.

Elaine, I never stopped loving you,
I just couldn't live with you.

But if this medication has a chance
of bringing you back to me...

I wanna take that chance.

I know you didn't cheat on me,
Henry.

I was so ashamed
of the way I acted,

it was easier to blame you.

Can you forgive me?

I already have.

[ELAINE SOBBING]

Your Honor, Mr. Bingum has agreed
to take responsibility for Mrs. Bingum.

Elaine Bingum is remanded
into her ex-husband's supervision.

Thank you.

Thank you, Janie.

[ALL LAUGH]

After your family reunion,

could I see you, counselor,
in my chambers, please?

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

You wanted to see me?

One time, early in
my very distinguished career,

I threatened to quit when
the partner wanted to pull my case.

What happened?
I was terminated.

I called Bellson and Tweed
and said you were fired.

I understand.
Then they asked to hire you.

What?

They said they could use
someone like you.

They didn't like that you took the case,
but were impressed by how you won.

What did you say?
That I wasn't letting you go.

Get back to your office
and work on your billable hours.

Yes, sir.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

SUMMERS:
Come on in.

Hey. The usual?

Uh... Sure. But no nuts.

No wet walnuts? Oh, Jane, please.

Tell me you're not turning into one
of those twits who counts calories.

Listen, I can't thank you enough.

I really appreciate...
I know.

Let's leave it at that, okay?
I don't do gratitude very well.

You know, I liked your family.
They're good people.

Yeah, they are.

I always thought it was strange that
you never really spoke about them.

Oh.

Well, I guess I was embarrassed.

Well, don't be.

You know, once, my mom
stabbed my dad with a kebab skewer.

What? Was she bipolar too?

No, Italian. Yeah.

Hey.
Hi.

What are you doing here?
It's after 5.

I'm looking for you.
Jane, I'm sorry about before.

You were right. I treated
my case personally.

Oh, it happens.

No, I overreacted with you
and you deserve to know why.

Okay.

It's my dad.

He was scammed by a guy
like Max Adams.

Oh.
Destroyed my parents' marriage.

Wait, but your parents
are still together.

They're so happy.

Alan is my stepfather.

Wait, what?
My father lost everything.

He left when I was 3.
I never saw him again.

I'm so sorry.

Mom and Alan married
a few years later.

I love him like a father.

But I wonder what would've happened
if my dad hadn't been ripped off.

Grayson, I had no idea.

You never said anything.

Well, it is kind of personal, right?

Right.

Yes. Of course.

The good news is,
I got my client everything she lost.

Well, your father would be proud.

Hm.

How do I look?
I'm not sure about stripes.

Do they make my shoulders
look too boyish?

Relax, princess.
Just be yourself.

That's what she liked
about you.

I don't get it, but go with it.

Honesty. Got it.

♪

Hi, Officer Jocelyn.
You, uh... You look amazing.

You can call me Jocelyn.

Right. Right. No, I just...
I, um...

I hardly recognized you
without your, uh, badge.

Oh, yeah, well,
there's, uh, nowhere to pin it.

[CHUCKLES]

Should we go?
Yeah. Sure. Sure.

Since our relationship is based on honesty,
I should tell you something. Um...

You are incredible and
I am so excited about our date,

but I'm totally in love
with another woman.

However, she is unavailable
to me right now,

so let's go out
and have a blast.

Yeah. You know, I should be
perfectly honest with you too.

You are a major jackass.

I thought you liked my honesty.

I'd like to Taser you.

But instead I'll just give you
another warning.

Don't ever, ever be
that honest again.

You have got to be kidding me.

I wouldn't have had fun
if I didn't tell the truth.

Your dream girl better be worth it.
She is.

She is.

ELAINE: Okay. Three words.
HENRY: Three syllables.

Three syllables, right?
Is this the first?

HENRY:
Is it two syllables?

Five syllables?
Ha, ha, ha.

HENRY:
How'd it go from three sylla...?

Jane, thank God
you're finally home.

Will you please tell Stacy

that Maya Angelou
is not a resort in Mexico.

Well, then where did
my manicurist get engaged?

[TIMER DINGS]

Oh. Saved by the bell.

Chicken pot pie coming right up.

I never thought I'd hear that again.

You're a gift to me, jellybean,
always have been.

HENRY:
Hold on, let me help.

For the first time, I feel like
they're really my family.

I mean, I love them.
Heh, heh, heh.

Ooh. Let me smell.

And I can't wait for them to leave.
Me too.

[BOTH LAUGHING]

[KATRINA & THE WAVES'
"WALKING ON SUNSHINE" PLAYS]

♪