Drop Dead Diva (2009–2014): Season 2, Episode 11 - Good Grief - full transcript

Jane and Grayson take on a case involving a grieving man, coping with the loss of his wife by dressing as a clown. Parker and Kim represent a producer who is being sued by one of the participants on a reality dating show which leads Kim to question her own dating situation with Parker. Fred finally decides to tell Stacy how he feels about her.



JANE: Sea that aspiring modal there?
That was ma, Deb,

until the day I died.

I thought I'd go straight to heaven,
but there was a bit of a mix-up

and I woke up
in someone else's body.

So now, I'm Jane, a super-busy
lawyer with my very own assistant.

I got a new life, a new wardrobe.

The only people
who know what's going on with me

are my girlfriend, Stacy,
and my guardian angel, Fred.

I used to think
everything happened for a reason.

And, well, I sure hope I was right.





JANE:
Hi.

I'd like a double decaf
nonfat caramel macchiato.

Instead of caramel,
can I get a skosh of vanilla syrup?

Can you make it cold,
but not too cold so it's refreshing,

but it doesn't hurt my teeth?

WOMAN:
You've gotta be kidding me.

JANE:
Excuse me?

Yeah.

Oh, my God. You're Jane.

I mean, before I became Jane.

Why am I taller than you?

Because Miss Booty Bounce,

you're wearing four-inch heels,



which are impractical, cause
lower-back disk compression,

while I am wearing comfortable
shoes that don't hate women.

Okay. Heh.

Heels create a line,
elongating my silhouette.

It is not your silhouette.
It's mine.

You are walking around
in my body,

driving my Porsche,
with my bank account.

Look, who gave you the right
to take over my life?

[PHONE RINGING]

Just one moment. it's my phone.

Don't you dare answer that phone
while I'm talking to you...

Hey, I deserve some respect. Hey.



Oh...

Good morning.

You in the mood
for an algae/tofu omelet?

But thank you.

So I just had a dream
that old Jane was yelling at me.

FRED:
Jane, we're late.

JANE:
Kind of like that.

Fred. Uh... You in the mood
for an algae/tofu omelet?

That sounds delicious.

But I am already glowing and Hewing.
Ah.

Jane, I'll be in the car.
Stacy, have a great day.

Sweetie, do you know
what you just did?

Ls this a riddle? I love riddles.

You wiped off your zit cream
when Fred came in.

That's not a riddle.

You do that when you care
about the way you look.

The guy comes to fix the elliptical

I think you broke on purpose
last time.

Is it possible that you like Fred?

What? No.

Fred? Uh-uh.

Fred... I mean...
He's just Fred. Just Fred.

Ahem.

If you say so.

Bye, sweetie.
Bye.

No.

So I'm thinking The Montage
in Laguna this weekend?

The sea, the sand
and a very attentive manservant?

I like that. I don't know. it all depends.
My boss might expect me to work,

seeing as how he just pulled me
into another one of his cases.

Your boss did that?
What's up with that guy?

I need to talk to him.

[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]



What was that about?
What?

Eileen. She works at a PR firm
on the seventh floor.

Oh.

Let me guess.
You used to date her.

Yes. Yes, I did.

So, what went wrong?

What do you mean?
Why don't you talk to her?

Because it's over.
What is there to say?

Apparently nothing.

JANE: What's that?
A clown.

FRED:
Good. You see it too.

He was in reception,
but Deedee got wigged out,

so she put him in here.

Didn't Kim and I reserve
the conference room for my 9:00?

You did, but I put your client in your
big office. I didn't think you'd mind.



Bingum, get the clown out of there.
It's disruptive.

Why me?
Because, Jane, he's your 9:00.

I produce a reality show
called The One.

We've been on the air
for 11 seasons.

I never miss it.

Unless someone deletes it
off my DVR.

I'm sure it was an accident.
Tell me about the program.

Oh. One handsome, bachelor
chooses his bride

from 30 desperate hopefuls.

And one of the hopefuls
is suing you?

Wendy Simon.
No way.

Weeping Wendy?
Heh, heh.

This season's runner-up.
Everyone thought she was the one.

Then in the final episode,
in a huge upset, he chose Annabelle.

Wendy went to pieces. Screaming,
tears, snot running out of her nose.

I watch in HD.
It's a total train wreck.

Oh, but fantastic television.

It's like watching a nervous breakdown
sponsored by volumizing shampoo.

She's suing me
for intentional infliction

of emotional harm.

A.J., all of your contestants
sign release forms, correct?

Yes. Yeah, of course.

I'll file a motion to dismiss.
We'll be done by lunch.

Hello. Heh, heh, heh.

I'm Jane Bingum.

Evan Robbins.
Nice to meet you.

It's my pleasure.

It's okay.

I thought there might be
a buzzer.

I get that a lot.
Heh, heh, heh.

So on the phone,
you said 'wrongful termination, ”

but you didn't give me
any details.

I wanted to make sure you'd at least
meet with me before saying no.

Okay.

Can I get you something to drink,
water or coffee?

No, thank you.
It smears the smile.

Of course.

So wrongful termination.

Were you fired from the circus?

Uh... I'm a sales account manager
for Context Communications,

a mobile service provider.

And why were you let go?

I'm pretty sure
it's for dressing like a clown.

Oh. Right.

How long have you been
dressing like a clown?

About six months.

Oh. These are my employment records.
My reviews are excellent,

and I've been promoted three times
over the last four years.

Well, that's very impressive.

So why not just stop wearing that?

I don't want to.

It says one month
before you started wearing that,

you took two
weeks off for bereavement.

May I ask why?

Um... My, uh...

My wife died...

in a car accident.



I'm sorry.
I appreciate you taking your time.

I don't expect you to understand.

If you don't wanna represent me,
it's okay.

I didn't say that.
I saw the way

everyone was looking at me. And I
don't wanna cause any problems, so...

Evan.
I will absolutely lake your case.

Heh.



Damn it, Bingum.

I just got your new-client memo.

You're representing the clown.

To be clear, Harrison & Parker
is not a novelty firm.

Not to be argumentative, but didn't we
just litigate a chimp custody case?

Yes, and the chimp
was appropriately dressed.

This case, waste of time.

Hear me out.

It was their third anniversary.

His wife died in a car accident.

Evan is grieving.

In a clown suit.
Yes.

I'm against this.
Duly noted.

Jane, you need
a second-chair?

You heard how Parker
feels about my client.

Well, the guy's grieving for his wife.
I might have some insights.

Right. Of course.

I'd love your help.

Yes, two VIP tickets
to the Kiss and Make-up expo.

Sure. I'll hold.

Again.

That's the premier
makeup styling event.

Those tickets are way expensive.
Two and a half paychecks.

All for a symposium
called "Cheekbones:

The power of contour shadowing.”
I don't get it.

It's sessions with the
greatest makeup artists,

who are giving away
all their secrets and tons of samples.

It's fabulous.

And they're for Stacy, aren't they?

It's all a part of the wooing process.

Okay.

Wh... Why did you that?

I had to listen to Justin Timberlake
sing "Sexyback" 15 times

just to get that far.
We need to talk. In private.

You can't woo Stacy.

Why?
You're going to get hurt.

What are you talking about?
Stacy has dating ADD.

She met a guy at spin class, went for
coffee, broke up before her latte.

Why? Because he was wearing
black ankle socks.

You make fun of me
for trying to get her attention.

Why are you so serious
all of a sudden?

Fred, there is a chance,

just maybe,

that Stacy might like you.

"Like" like you "like you."

What? What did she say?

She didn't say anything,
but she's my best friend.

Oh, my God. I wanna

shout and cry all the same time.

And you have a furred brow.

Are you worried Stacy might hurt me?
I don't have a problem with that.

Fred, last time when you kissed Stacy,
you disappeared.

And I don't want that to happen again,
okay?

Oh. I see. I broke their rules.
But you don't have to worry about that.

When you started mucking up
your life and they sent me back,

I made a new deal.

I can kiss all I want, I can have
a relationship and it's totally okay.

Listen, I am your guardian angel
and I am here to stay.

I can't believe Stacy might like me.
No.

I am not totally, completely sure.
I said I had a feeling.

Well, I have a feeling too.
I am bringing sexy back.

Wow. Don't ever say that again.



Your Honor, A.J. Fowler,
the producer of The One,

set out to humiliate
my client on national television.

PARKER:
That's ridiculous.

There was no malintent.
We move to dismiss.

Mr. Fowler manipulated footage
to make Wendy appear unhinged.

I think the legal term
is "tough cookies."

The contestant is aware
that she may be embarrassed,

surprised, and/or humiliated.
Signed and initialed. End of story.

A release form cannot, in principle,
relieve a producer of all responsibility.

Your honor, this is not something...
JUDGE: Enough.

She's right. That's for a jury to decide.
Motion to dismiss denied.

As head of human resources,
I warned Mr. Robbins that his attire

was inappropriate and nonstandard.

His performance record is stellar.
Yes, it is.

So then why not consider
his personal circumstances?

Wearing a clown suit
is simply part of his grieving process.

I'm sorry for your loss, but I received
27 complaints

lodged against Mr. Robbins
by fellow employees.

Okay. You sound like a fair person.

So what if my client were to agree
to return to standard attire

after a certain time frame?
Say, one month from today?

If we got something on paper,

I think I could persuade my boss.

GRAYSON: Can we just
slow down for a second?

Sorry, we can't ask
our client to accept those terms.

Can we talk outside?
You don't have to. No deal.

Evan, you haven't
even considered the deal.

And I won't.

My company wants
to avoid litigation,

but we can't negotiate
with unreasonable partners.



What the hell happened
in there?

We were about to settle.

Not in a way that works for Evan.
You offered help, that's not help.

You can't put a ticking clock on grief.
We can't ask him to do that.

You don't have the authority.

I offered to second chair because I
understand what Evan's going through.



So the judge threw out
the release,

so it doesn't matter
if Wendy signed it, right?

He didn't throw it out.
He opened the door to testimony.

He's saying the release alone
won't invalidate Wendy’s claim.

And I still say we win.

A.J., if you settle,
you open floodgates to lawsuits

from every contestant
who's ever lost on the show.

Your case may take a little time,
but we will prevail.

Trust me.

Okay.

See you in court.

What?

Don't cross your arms at me.

What happened to not raising
our client's expectations?

It's an easy one.
It's called assumption of risk.

If you go swimming in a shark tank,
you can't complain when you're bit.

Maybe she was prepared to get bit,
but not have her entire leg ripped off.

What's going on, Kim?

Look, I admit I took guilty pleasure
in Wendy’s meltdown,

but that was
when it felt like entertainment.

This feels like something else.

Get over it, because you're
cross-examining her tomorrow.

If I do it, I'll look like a bully.
Can't imagine why.

It's not fair.

Evan's minding his own business and
he gets fired for playing dress up.

You know
I'm always on your side,

but dressing like a clown at work
is a little weird, don't you think?

You dressed like a banana
at work once.

I was auditioning for fruit roll-ups.

Fine. You're right. it's weird.

But he shouldn't be fired for it.

I mean, the man is in pain
and if this makes him feel better,

then why should anyone care?

Some people just don't like clowns.

My Mom got one
for my seventh birthday party.

My sister ran to her room,
started crying

and wouldn't come out
until Mr. Patches left.

I never got my
elephant-balloon hat.

Oh! Coulrophobia. The abnormal
or exaggerated fear of clowns.

Are you okay?

Apparently, being afraid of clowns
is a real condition.

Oh.
27 people filed letters against Evan.

I mean, maybe coulrophobia
is a common condition.

Not necessarily.
Remember senior year

I launched a campaign to ban
white foods from the cafeteria?

Of course. The school year
started in September.

Everyone knows
white after Labor Day is a no-no.

I got 62 signatures.

Heh, heh. That's right.

You got the soccer team
and the cheerleaders.

And techie geeks.
You were their goddess.

Yes. But none of them cared
about white food like I did.

They just signed the petition
because I asked them to.

Oh, my God.
One of Context's key arguments

is that
there were 27 letters of complaint.

But maybe there's only one Stacy
behind all those letters.

You know what I have to do.

Find the Stacy, win the case.

[BOTH GIGGLE]



Hi, Jane.

[GASPS]

You again.
I'm still waiting for an apology.

This isn't my fault.

It was out of my control.

Excuse me?

You are the one
who pushed the return button.

And now Grayson misses Deb,

and your client misses his wife,
but no one misses me.

Because no one knows
that I'm gone.

Well, when you put it that way,
I'm really, really sorry.

No. You're not the least bit contrite.

No, honestly, I am. I am extra-contrite,
with a cherry on top. Heh, heh.

You're not sad.

Or morose.

You don't look even disconcerted.

You look happy.

See for yourself.



[GASPS]

Stacy.
Hm?

Hey, I had another dream
about old Jane.

She's upset
because no one knows she died.

That's so sad.

I should do something special
for her.

You know, to honor old Jane.

You know, I love projects.
Leave it to me.

Um...
I can handle it.

Okay. But no decoupage.
Or glue guns.

Right. Something classy.

Now get to work
and save your clown.

Mr. Westenson, you wrote a letter
to human resources

complaining about my client's
clown suit, didn't you?

Yes, I did.
You were the first of 27 letters.

A lot of people were upset.

What department do you work in?
I work in Accounting.

Oh. Interesting.

All 27 letters
came from your department,

even though
my client works in corporate sales.

You don't work
in the same building.

Make your point, Ms. Bingum.

Isn't it true that you asked,

well, perhaps, encouraged,

maybe even cajoled your co-workers
to write letters against my client?

I can't make anyone do anything.
Mr. Westenson,

you haven't looked at my client
once since taking the stand.

Please look at him.
Rather not.

Because clowns upset you?

Yes.

They smile all the time.

You can't tell what they're thinking.
It freaks me out, okay?

Sounds like coulrophobia to me.

The irrational fear of clowns.

ANNOUNCER [ON TV]:
On the season finale of The One.

TOBY: l came here to
find the one and I have.

Wendy, Annabelle's the one.

ANNOUNCER: Her dreams shattered.
WENDY: You said that you loved me.

We love each other. I'm the one.

I'm the one.
You told me I was the one.

I'm sorry.

Toby. Toby.

Toby!

Can you just turn the cameras off?

Can you turn the cameras off?
Turn the cameras off!

ANNOUNCER:
Weeping Wendy, Tuesday at 9.

WENDY:
Leave me alone.

PAULA: The show promoted
this clip over and over,

calling you Weeping Wendy,
isn't that right?

Yes. People shout that at me
from their cars.

I'm a punchline
for Leno and Letterman.

And thanks to the Internet,
people make fun of me in China.

So you feel the show,
and, in particular, Mr. Fowler,

has damaged your reputation?

What happens next time
I apply for a job?

Who would hire someone
who appears unhinged?

And as far as
any future relationships go,

I just...

It feels impossible.

Thank you.

Ms. Simon,
The One is in its 11th season.

Had you seen the show before?

Yes.

So you saw Melissa get so drunk,
she puked during the canoe ride,

and the time Mary Ellen lost

her bikini bottoms
diving into swimming pool

on national TV?
Yeah.

You understood that though producers
put you in a wedding dress,

it didn't mean you were the one.

I guess.

In fact, isn't this just a case
of swimming with sharks

and then complaining
when you were bitten?

I went on this show,
despite the risks,

because I thought
I was gonna find love.

But you lost.

Then, out of desperation,

you hired a lawyer
to lash out at my client.

You put yourself in this position,
Ms. Simon.

You knew the risks, didn't you?

I guess. But I just...
But what?

That's what I thought.
Nothing further.



Evan, can you please explain

why a clown?

My wife and I were
at the boardwalk in Santa Monica

the day before she died
and there was a clown performing.

And he picked Anna
out of the crowd,

and he was making fun
of the way she walked.

You know,
she was laughing so hard.

She loved it.

So as a clown,
you feel closer to her.

Yeah. That's true.

When you catch your reflection in the
mirror how does it make you feel?

Um...

Like I, uh...

Like I can get through the day.

Thank you, Evan.

Mr. Robbins, do you have healthcare
coverage through Context?

Yes.
And does that coverage

include mental health?
Yes.

Have you sought out therapy?
No, I haven't.

So you've chosen instead
to wear

a clown costume
as your therapy?

Objection. He's not in a position
to question how my client

grieves for his wife.

Overruled.

Answer the question.

So this costume, then,
is some sort of coping mechanism?

I guess.
And you've inflicted

this unconventional coping
mechanism on your co-workers?

No, I didn't think that...

The workplace is not the forum
to deal with personal issues, is it?

I asked you a question.

[HORN TOOTS]

Mr. Robbins, you are out of order.
Your Honor.

Either stop honking
or I'll place you in contempt.

Evan.
That's it. You're in contempt.

Bailiff, hike him into custody.
Evan.

[HORN TOOTING]

Don't touch me.
BAILIFF: Let's go.

[HORN TOOTING]



GRAYSON:
Jane.

JANE:
So I spoke with the clerk.

They'll release him in a few hours.

How can I be so mad at Evan

and feel so terrible for him
at the same time?

Imagine how he feels.

I mean, his pain's so deep,
it's easier to be a clown.

Yeah.

Hey, Grayson.

What did you do when Deb died?

Well...

Uh...

I remember

spending a lot of time
driving around aimlessly.

One time, I got in my car

to go to the gym and ended
up at the Mexican border.

No idea, why.

Did you talk to someone?
Go to therapy?

I probably should have.

I was a mess.
I couldn't sleep, couldn't eat.

Every morning, I'd wake up

and look at the empty spot
in the bed next to me and...

Put my fist through a wall.

I had no idea.

I mean, you were coming to work
every day.

I billed 100 hours a week,
my first month at the firm.

How did you get over it?

Well, after a long day at work,
I came home

and all the plants were dead.

There was nothing in the fridge,
and my walls were full of holes.

I remember thinking
that if Deb saw me,

she wouldn't like the man
she was looking at.

So I cleaned up the house,
cleaned up my act.

To be the man...

That she wanted me to be.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Ugh. I hope that is a roast turkey
with chestnut stuffing.

Why do I crave Thanksgiving
during summer?

The card shop
is going out of business

and I bought all of those
Valentine's cards for 99 cents.

That is planning ahead.

They are gonna help me with Stacy.

See, I have recently learned
that she might like me.

You?
Yes.

Don't mock.

And, for some reason,
whenever she's in the room,

I can't seem to form
complete sentences.

Which is why
I am turning to the professionals

who are paid money to write down
what women wanna hear.

"l love you when the day is new.
love you when the sky is blue.

And when the sun's about to set..."

I'll tell you, you're an idiot.

Hilarious. All right, check this out.

[SPEAKING ITALIAN]

it's romantic and sophisticated.

It means
"I’m sorry, your grandfather died.”

Fred, you don't need to be poetic.

Just be real.

Tell her how you feel.

Real, feel.

I can work with that.



Oh, sure. There were plenty
of great women to choose from.

But in the end,
I was totally going for Wendy.

So, what happened?

Well, the night before
I was gonna propose,

A.J. strongly suggested
that I choose the other girl.

PAULA:
Strongly suggested?

He said that Annabelle tested
higher with the viewers.

So if you chose Annabelle,
it would be better for the show.

Yeah.
Nothing further.

You weren't forced
to choose Annabelle, were you?

Well, they didn't put a gun
to my head.

You list your profession as contractor,
but you're an actor, aren't you?

I do a little bit of both.

You picked Annabelle
because you thought it would raise

your profile as an actor?

Why not?

A couple of the guys
from The Real World got agents.

So you dumped Wendy because you
thought it would benefit your career.

If Wendy suffered any
emotional distress on the show,

aren't you responsible,
not my client?

Hey, I was just looking out
for myself.

He's the one that asked me to break
her heart and put her meltdown on TV.

[JURY MURMURING]

Nothing further.



PARKER:
Kim. Hey.

What is going on?
It's not going well in there.

Maybe not, but our client
hasn't testified yet.

Think A.J.'s gonna win the jury over?
Not if you keep throwing looks at him.

You choose to represent slime balls,
your colleagues might have a reaction.

What is going on with you?
A.J.'s not a bad guy.

No, he's a gem.
it's the dumb girl's fault.

Looking for love on a show.
Deserved to get dragged through mud.

We've been through this. It's...
Don't you say, assumption of risk,

or I swear to God
someone's going down.

Okay, what are we really talking
about here?

We are talking about you
and that girl in the elevator.

Eileen? I don't even talk to Eileen.

Exactly. You don't talk
to any of your exes, do you?

When I'm in a relationship,
I'm in 100 percent.

When it's over, it's over.

And your ex turns
into the invisible woman.

She assumed the risk.
I don't understand

why you're taking this personally.
Because relationships end.

I work for you.
What happens when we're over?



[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

Hey.

Thanks for bailing me out.

Well, I couldn't very well
leave a clown in jail, right?

It was a little iffy in there.
Not everyone's a fan.

I got your message.
You wanted to talk?

Yeah. What happened in court,

it really hurt your case.

I know. I...

I messed up. I'm sorry.

Evan, can I ask you
something personal?

At this point, why not?

Take a seat.

If your wife were still alive,

what would she think
about all this?

What do you mean?

Dressing like a clown,

acting up in court,
getting thrown in jail.

How do you think
this would look to her?

I don't know. I guess,
it looks like my life's messed up

and that I get what I deserved.
Wait. Sorry. Get what you deserved?

What aren't you telling me?

Evan, please.

This.

It's my fault.

No. It was an accident.

She was making
our anniversary dinner,

asked me to pick a basil
on my way home from work

and I forgot.

I told her that we didn't need it,

but she insisted.

She wanted dinner to be perfect.

And she went back out to get it.
Evan.

And on the way to the store
that's when it happened.

You know, Anna died because...

If I'd just done what she asked...

Listen to me.

This wasn't your fault.

Evan,

a man very close to me

lost his girlfriend,
whom he loved very much.

And he told me

that he was only able to move on

when he started to see himself
through her eyes.

Obviously, I didn't know Anna.

But I don't believe
she'd blame you for what happened.

I loved her so much.

And I'm sure she loved you too.

But she loved the man she married.

Not a clown.

Okay.
Here.

[SNIFFLES]

Can I help?

Yeah.

Okay.



Hey, A.J.
Do you know what's going on?

I got a text telling me
to meet here.

Yeah, I got the same text.

Hello, people.

I can explain.

A.J., remember the other day when
you suggested we settle this case?

Yeah.
I should have listened.

I've actually scheduled a meeting
with Wendy and her attorney.

Really?
Last night, I was thinking

about Toby's testimony
about the ratings.

And I found something interesting
in the case files.

It was a confidential
research memo

listing the audience appeal
of every contestant on the show.

You know where this is going,
don't you?

Wendy was rated higher than the
winner, if you were only after ratings,

you would have just let Toby
pick Wendy, right?

Yeah.
I don't understand.

When did you realize
you were in love with Wendy?

What?

He's right.

I never met anybody like Wendy.

She has no guile,
no pretense, no agenda.

She was... Heh.

She was genuinely looking for love.

And Toby was looking
to launch a TV career.

I wasn't trying to hurt her. I was trying
to protect her from that jerk.

Why didn't you tell her
how you felt?

Too risky.

A.J., if you cared for her,

why did you show her
in an unflattering light?

The network controls promotion.
I couldn't do anything about it.

Wendy Simon
and her attorney are here.

Maybe, it's time to take that risk.

Hello again.

Um... Before we start,

I'd like to apologize to Wendy.

And I'd like to do it
in private.

Absolutely not.

I will be present for any interaction.

Wendy, just hear me out.

Please.

It's okay, Paula.

I'll be fine.

Evan, I hardly recognized you
without your clown makeup.

To be honest, it feels kind of weird
people aren't staring at me. Heh, heh.

Oh. Thanks.

Lady and gentleman, may I introduce
your client, Evan Robbins?

Wow. You clean up nicely.

I just wanted to say thank you.

Both of you. I got my job back.

That's fantastic.

And I'm doing my best to move on.

I'm sure Anna would want that.

It's you, isn't it?

Jane told me about a friend
whose girlfriend passed away.

You're gonna be okay, Evan.

Yeah.

Well, uh, I gotta go.

My lunch break is over in 10 minutes,
and I don't wanna be late, so...

Thank you.

Bye, Evan.

Grayson.

Thank you.

For what?

For letting me see Evan
through your eyes.

And for talking with me
about Deb.

I know that couldn't have been easy.

Well, it heals punching my list
through walls.

I should be thanking you.

For listening.

I'm here.

Anytime.



'Love is'...

"Love is fire."

Ahem. "Love is rain. Love is"

"Love is rain."

STACY: Hey.
Oh!

I got your text to meet you here.
What's up?

Hey, Stacy. Um...

It seems, um...

As far as, uh...

Did you want a hot wing?
No, thank you.

Love is fire.

Love is, uh, rain.

Love is sunshine.

It seems, um...

Oh, my God.
Let me start again.

It's Charlie Taggart.
Who?

He was in my acting class.

We dated for a while,
but he dumped me.

He dumped you?

For a girl with a recurring role
on The Bold and the Beautiful. Uh!

He's coming over.
CHARLIE: Stacy?

Hello, Charlie.

You look fantastic.

Uh, this is Fred.
Uh, Fred, Charlie.

Hi.
Hovfs the acting thing going?

It's going.

Slowly.
Hey, don't worry about it.

With looks like yours,
you don't need talent.

Hey.

I will have you know that Stacy

is one of the most talented
actresses of our generation.

She illuminates the human condition
by her very presence.

Her soul's pure and kind, she is one of
the most graceful people I've ever met.

In fact, she is both bold
and beautiful.

So go get us a waiter and tell him
I want some ranch dressing.

Fred, that was really sweet.

Uh... Stacy.

I've been trying to ask
for some time.

Uh...

Would you go out
on a date with me?

Isn't this a date?

Oh, um, I...

Absolutely.

[Knocking]

Yeah.

That's the first time I've been
kicked out of a settlement meeting.

I hear Wendy and A.J. are continuing
at the little bistro on the corner.

Yeah. Maybe

she found love
en e reality shew after ell.

Anything's possible, right?

Yeah.

Kim.

Can we talk about us?

Okay.

You were right.
Relationships end.

This is the first time

I'm not thinking about the end
at the beginning.

So I was wondering
if you would reconsider

going away this weekend.
I don't...

Look, I understand
you're taking a risk dating the boss.

But I'm taking a risk too.

How?
I would like nothing more

in the world, than to go away
with you this weekend.

But you could say no.

Not after hearing
you say that, I couldn't.

Ah, finally, you're home.

Hey.
You were right about Fred.

I like him.

We had wings, and we kissed.

You kissed?
He didn't disappear, did he?

No. He went to the store.

We ran out of algae and tofu.
Okay.

And guess what.

He bought you and me tickets
to the Kiss and Make-up expo.

How sweet is that?

He's an angel.
Heh, heh, heh.

Stacy, I'm so happy for you.
Thank you, sweetie.

But enough about me.
it's time to talk about Jane.

Come.
Okay.

Ta-da.



Stacy, this is awesome.

Would you like to say something?

Yeah.

It's long overdue,

but tonight,
we memorialize Jane Bingum.

A woman who was never mourned
because no one knows she's gone.

Jane...

thank you for the gifts
you've given me.

A loving family

and an amazing
singing voice. Heh, heh.

Gorgeous, shiny hair.

Flawless skin and great teeth.

Ooh. She does have great teeth.

And a brain
that's never let me down.

I promise to honor your memory
by living the best life I can.

And if you're watching me now,

I want you to be proud
of the life I'm living.

So here's to you, Jane Bingum.
Heh, heh.

A phenomenal woman

whom I've never met.

But I'm getting to know
better and better every day.