Dream Corp LLC (2016–…): Season 1, Episode 1 - Episode #1.1 - full transcript
Patient 88 visits Dream Corp to cure his romantic problems under the supervision of Dr. Roberts and his questionable staff. 88's card gets declined.
_
Dr. Roberts will revisit the session
to evaluate the symbolic
things of your waking life.
May I help you?
- I'm here to see Dr. Roberts.
- Are you with the police?
- N-No.
- I.R.S., FBI?
I-I have a 2:00 p.m.
Um, It's kind of hard
to find the place.
Do you have someone picking
you up after your procedure?
- Uh, no one knows I'm here.
- Perfect.
- Reason for visit?
- I saw the television commercial ...
- Um...
- Depression, anxiety, going vegan?
- No.
- Childlike frame?
- What?
- Self-conscious about your weird mouth?
Uh, I think I'd just rather
discuss it with Dr. Roberts.
- Okay. Sure.
- Yeah, great.
Okay, just let me see your wrist.
You are patient 88.
And go ahead and fill out
this waiver and form
as quickly and honestly
as possible,
and we'll call your number
when we're ready.
Okay.
- Patient 88.
- Yeah?
- We're ready for you.
- Oh, I didn't get to ...
That's okay.
Right this way.
This will help with your session.
All outpatients take it.
Trust me.
- Thank you, doctor.
- I'm not a doctor.
But that's the goal.
Fingers crossed.
- 88? This way.
- Yeah.
"Dream Corp LLC."
Loser!
Go ahead, put the gown on,
have a seat, and Dr. Roberts
- will be right with you.
- Uh, I think I made a mistake.
Hello, patient!
Careful, Jumpy Jimperson.
You don't want to get out
of that chair once you sit.
Trust me.
Wow.
You have the whitest teeth.
Jesus Christ!
You like hunting?
- Uh, no.
- No? Okay.
So, what brings you in today,
little guy?
Uh, I've been having
some issues romantically.
- You know, physically.
- Mm-hmm.
- In your tender breasts, or...?
- No, it's, um ...
- Is it, um ... all right, it's here?
- No.
- Is it down here?
- Yeah. Yeah.
- All right.
- So, do you think it's some ...
Shh.
I'm gonna take your pulse.
Well, I will let the doctor
know you're here.
He's trying to play pool
with a rope.
- Huh?
- Ding-dong.
Seems like I'm not the only one
with a 3 1/2-inch floppy.
Welcome, patient.
I'm Dr. Roberts.
You've met our lovely intern,
my associates Randy Blink
and T.E.R.R.Y.
Oh, this is Hammond,
uh, um, something or other.
and he's our nurse.
He'll get you started.
I'll be right out there with you.
- Cheeto?
- Uh, no, thank you.
- Forgot one signature.
- Oh, should I read that?
The terms of service state
you understand the risks
involved with this procedure,
that you agree Dream Corp LLC
will record and own
your dreams for eternity.
- Just say you agree.
- Just say I agree?
"I agree. I agree."
Brain map is clear.
All lobes, all day.
So, patient 88,
impotence is ...
So, the impotence
is a common issue
we've helped many patients with
in the past.
You're gonna
want to put that gown on.
- No, I think I'd rather keep my clothes on.
- Up to you.
Let's see what
you're working with here.
Hmm?
You didn't want to take
any pills for this?
- Cialis?
- I did, but they stopped working,
and now my ankles
have just swollen up.
Whoa!
Wilford Brimley!
Okay, a little pinch.
P.O.V. cameras are in and activated.
Like my anus beads.
Okay, looks like
we're ready to put you under.
It's gonna get pretty weird now.
- Say, "Ahh."
- Ahh.
- Occupation?
- No.
Once you start dreaming,
we'll be able
to guide you directly
to where your issue
is hiding and re-wire it.
- Re-wire it?
- It's amazing, right?
- And they want to shut us down.
- Who does?
Let's calibrate you.
Uh, d-doctor...
I-I think I made a mistake.
I-I...
That's the third
pant-piss this week.
T.E.R.R.Y." "I think I'd
rather keep my clothes on.
I think I'd rather
keep my clothes on."
Patient 88...
can you hear me?
Yeah.
Walk straight ahead for me.
Stay between
the blue and the red lines.
Look to your left.
Tell me what you see.
It's one of those ...
one of those sign spinners.
Uh, I hate those guys.
Oh, my God,
all right, so, last night,
Randy and I watched patient 12
sleep for like six hours.
Then I went online,
became an ordained minister,
and married them.
Look at it. Check it.
- That's legal.
- Congratulations.
Uh, what about your lovely wife?
- I got divorced.
- You left the building?
- Nah, texted her.
- Well, what did you say?
Uh, "I haven't seen you in 15 years.
I don't love you."
- Two texts.
- Well, I'm happy and sad for you.
Hammond! Hammond!
- Sedation!
- Comi-i-i-i-ng!
Comi-i-i-i-ng!
88, can ... can you hear me?
Can you hear me?
Why? Is everything okay?
Yeah, no,
I-I was just thinking about you.
88, where are you now?
I think I'm in high school.
88, what's for lunch?
Smell her lunch.
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
She's actually really nice.
♪ Happy birthday ♪
♪ Happy birthday ♪
Don't let them
push you around, 88.
It's only your mind.
Ah. I'm going in.
Doctor, it says here
future turning to adolescence
in this nerd
displays a classic case of
social anxiety
and feelings of inadequacy ...
No confidence.
Also, the eyes on his plate
suggest a recent semination ...
- personally, professionally, or both.
- It certainly does.
I actually didn't hear
a word you just said.
But I'm sure
it was very important.
You're doing a wonderful job, Joey.
Thank you, doctor.
Birthday boy.
Oh, Christ!
Take a breath, 88.
Cool.
Look at me. Look at me.
Look at me.
Run away like that, you'll
wind up getting us both killed.
- Killed?
- That being said, you'll be fine.
- So, who is this lovely gem?
- I-I don't know.
You're too short to be broke.
- Oh, it's my girlfriend, Denise.
- Mm-hmm.
88, what is Denise
trying to tell you?
Doctor, patient 88's
credit card was declined.
So...
what should I do?
Can you just rub it on your
shirt and swipe it again?
88, focus.
It's my uncle ... Uncle Joey.
Wait, doctor...
- Uncle Jesse?
- Randy.
Uncle Joey.
Dave Coulier from "Full House."
May I make love to Denise?
Someone has to.
Yeah. Why not?
Thanks, buddy.
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
- 88, stick up for yourself.
Why? He's famous.
Ohh!
Stick up for yourself, 88.
Thank you, brother.
I'll now have another goeth
with your fairest of ladies.
I will tend to thy mother.
Anything for you, brother.
Welcome back.
I told you to wear the gown.
Just curious ...
do you happen to have
any other form of payment ...
uh, Bitcoin, gold chains?
His lack of employment
has unearthed
a deep-seated insecurity
from his childhood
that's carried over
into everyday life ...
his schlubby appearance,
a lack of self-confidence.
- Mm-hmm.
- I have a prescription for you.
What is it?
- It's a job.
- Where?
- Here.
- No.
A job will do wonders
for your confidence.
It'll help you make boners.
Plus you got to pay your bill.
Doctor's orders.
Welcome aboard.
Um, listen, if
you're just gonna throw those
sweat pants out, I'll
take them off your hands.
- I'll let you know.
- Hmm.
Soon, or ...
Oh, not ... Okay.
You've unearthed
some deep issues today.
We'll be sure to e-mail
you a report. Oops.
Now, make sure you park
in employee parking.
- Don't let anyone see you.
- On an empty stomach.
I'll add those to your tab.
Now, do you have time
to take a brief survey?
How likely would you be
to recommend Dream Corp LLC
to a friend?
- Likely? Not ...
- Not likely.
♪ Whoo! ♪
See you Monday, 88.
Dr. Roberts will revisit the session
to evaluate the symbolic
things of your waking life.
May I help you?
- I'm here to see Dr. Roberts.
- Are you with the police?
- N-No.
- I.R.S., FBI?
I-I have a 2:00 p.m.
Um, It's kind of hard
to find the place.
Do you have someone picking
you up after your procedure?
- Uh, no one knows I'm here.
- Perfect.
- Reason for visit?
- I saw the television commercial ...
- Um...
- Depression, anxiety, going vegan?
- No.
- Childlike frame?
- What?
- Self-conscious about your weird mouth?
Uh, I think I'd just rather
discuss it with Dr. Roberts.
- Okay. Sure.
- Yeah, great.
Okay, just let me see your wrist.
You are patient 88.
And go ahead and fill out
this waiver and form
as quickly and honestly
as possible,
and we'll call your number
when we're ready.
Okay.
- Patient 88.
- Yeah?
- We're ready for you.
- Oh, I didn't get to ...
That's okay.
Right this way.
This will help with your session.
All outpatients take it.
Trust me.
- Thank you, doctor.
- I'm not a doctor.
But that's the goal.
Fingers crossed.
- 88? This way.
- Yeah.
"Dream Corp LLC."
Loser!
Go ahead, put the gown on,
have a seat, and Dr. Roberts
- will be right with you.
- Uh, I think I made a mistake.
Hello, patient!
Careful, Jumpy Jimperson.
You don't want to get out
of that chair once you sit.
Trust me.
Wow.
You have the whitest teeth.
Jesus Christ!
You like hunting?
- Uh, no.
- No? Okay.
So, what brings you in today,
little guy?
Uh, I've been having
some issues romantically.
- You know, physically.
- Mm-hmm.
- In your tender breasts, or...?
- No, it's, um ...
- Is it, um ... all right, it's here?
- No.
- Is it down here?
- Yeah. Yeah.
- All right.
- So, do you think it's some ...
Shh.
I'm gonna take your pulse.
Well, I will let the doctor
know you're here.
He's trying to play pool
with a rope.
- Huh?
- Ding-dong.
Seems like I'm not the only one
with a 3 1/2-inch floppy.
Welcome, patient.
I'm Dr. Roberts.
You've met our lovely intern,
my associates Randy Blink
and T.E.R.R.Y.
Oh, this is Hammond,
uh, um, something or other.
and he's our nurse.
He'll get you started.
I'll be right out there with you.
- Cheeto?
- Uh, no, thank you.
- Forgot one signature.
- Oh, should I read that?
The terms of service state
you understand the risks
involved with this procedure,
that you agree Dream Corp LLC
will record and own
your dreams for eternity.
- Just say you agree.
- Just say I agree?
"I agree. I agree."
Brain map is clear.
All lobes, all day.
So, patient 88,
impotence is ...
So, the impotence
is a common issue
we've helped many patients with
in the past.
You're gonna
want to put that gown on.
- No, I think I'd rather keep my clothes on.
- Up to you.
Let's see what
you're working with here.
Hmm?
You didn't want to take
any pills for this?
- Cialis?
- I did, but they stopped working,
and now my ankles
have just swollen up.
Whoa!
Wilford Brimley!
Okay, a little pinch.
P.O.V. cameras are in and activated.
Like my anus beads.
Okay, looks like
we're ready to put you under.
It's gonna get pretty weird now.
- Say, "Ahh."
- Ahh.
- Occupation?
- No.
Once you start dreaming,
we'll be able
to guide you directly
to where your issue
is hiding and re-wire it.
- Re-wire it?
- It's amazing, right?
- And they want to shut us down.
- Who does?
Let's calibrate you.
Uh, d-doctor...
I-I think I made a mistake.
I-I...
That's the third
pant-piss this week.
T.E.R.R.Y." "I think I'd
rather keep my clothes on.
I think I'd rather
keep my clothes on."
Patient 88...
can you hear me?
Yeah.
Walk straight ahead for me.
Stay between
the blue and the red lines.
Look to your left.
Tell me what you see.
It's one of those ...
one of those sign spinners.
Uh, I hate those guys.
Oh, my God,
all right, so, last night,
Randy and I watched patient 12
sleep for like six hours.
Then I went online,
became an ordained minister,
and married them.
Look at it. Check it.
- That's legal.
- Congratulations.
Uh, what about your lovely wife?
- I got divorced.
- You left the building?
- Nah, texted her.
- Well, what did you say?
Uh, "I haven't seen you in 15 years.
I don't love you."
- Two texts.
- Well, I'm happy and sad for you.
Hammond! Hammond!
- Sedation!
- Comi-i-i-i-ng!
Comi-i-i-i-ng!
88, can ... can you hear me?
Can you hear me?
Why? Is everything okay?
Yeah, no,
I-I was just thinking about you.
88, where are you now?
I think I'm in high school.
88, what's for lunch?
Smell her lunch.
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
She's actually really nice.
♪ Happy birthday ♪
♪ Happy birthday ♪
Don't let them
push you around, 88.
It's only your mind.
Ah. I'm going in.
Doctor, it says here
future turning to adolescence
in this nerd
displays a classic case of
social anxiety
and feelings of inadequacy ...
No confidence.
Also, the eyes on his plate
suggest a recent semination ...
- personally, professionally, or both.
- It certainly does.
I actually didn't hear
a word you just said.
But I'm sure
it was very important.
You're doing a wonderful job, Joey.
Thank you, doctor.
Birthday boy.
Oh, Christ!
Take a breath, 88.
Cool.
Look at me. Look at me.
Look at me.
Run away like that, you'll
wind up getting us both killed.
- Killed?
- That being said, you'll be fine.
- So, who is this lovely gem?
- I-I don't know.
You're too short to be broke.
- Oh, it's my girlfriend, Denise.
- Mm-hmm.
88, what is Denise
trying to tell you?
Doctor, patient 88's
credit card was declined.
So...
what should I do?
Can you just rub it on your
shirt and swipe it again?
88, focus.
It's my uncle ... Uncle Joey.
Wait, doctor...
- Uncle Jesse?
- Randy.
Uncle Joey.
Dave Coulier from "Full House."
May I make love to Denise?
Someone has to.
Yeah. Why not?
Thanks, buddy.
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
- 88, stick up for yourself.
Why? He's famous.
Ohh!
Stick up for yourself, 88.
Thank you, brother.
I'll now have another goeth
with your fairest of ladies.
I will tend to thy mother.
Anything for you, brother.
Welcome back.
I told you to wear the gown.
Just curious ...
do you happen to have
any other form of payment ...
uh, Bitcoin, gold chains?
His lack of employment
has unearthed
a deep-seated insecurity
from his childhood
that's carried over
into everyday life ...
his schlubby appearance,
a lack of self-confidence.
- Mm-hmm.
- I have a prescription for you.
What is it?
- It's a job.
- Where?
- Here.
- No.
A job will do wonders
for your confidence.
It'll help you make boners.
Plus you got to pay your bill.
Doctor's orders.
Welcome aboard.
Um, listen, if
you're just gonna throw those
sweat pants out, I'll
take them off your hands.
- I'll let you know.
- Hmm.
Soon, or ...
Oh, not ... Okay.
You've unearthed
some deep issues today.
We'll be sure to e-mail
you a report. Oops.
Now, make sure you park
in employee parking.
- Don't let anyone see you.
- On an empty stomach.
I'll add those to your tab.
Now, do you have time
to take a brief survey?
How likely would you be
to recommend Dream Corp LLC
to a friend?
- Likely? Not ...
- Not likely.
♪ Whoo! ♪
See you Monday, 88.