Drawn Together (2004–2007): Season 2, Episode 6 - Ghosteses in the Slot Machine - full transcript
When the house gets haunted by poltergeists, Foxxy does some investigating and discovers that the house was built over an Indian burial ground, and the occupants are demanding restitution. To appease the spirits, the house-mates give them the backyard, which suddenly becomes an enormous ghost casino. Seeing an opportunity to get rich quick, Spanky and Hero team up to bet on rigged superhero fights. Foxxy, meanwhile, sees her own opportunity and opens a strip club next door. When Clara finds that her father the king is one of Foxxy's best customers, she becomes a stripper herself to try and get the attention that he never gave her when she was a child.
There's nothing better
than finding a zit
that's ready to be popped. Gaah!
Hey, look what we got.
It's a note from the producers.
They want us to redecorate
each other's personal space.
My task was to breathe some new
life into Toot's living space.
The kitchen.
A salad bar?
I swear I'll fucking cut you.
Hmm, that's weird.
[GRUNTS]
[SPEAKING JAPANESE]
Captain Hero and I
wanted Spanky's bathroom
to really reflect
his personality.
Spanky's gonna love
this redecoration.
Dude, that penis is sweet.
[BOTH GASP] Oh, my...
I volunteered to redesign
Foxxy's natural living space.
You're gonna love this.
[GASPS]
Hmm?
You racist motherfucker...
[CHOKING]
[SOBS] Huh?
[SCREAMS]
That's right, tree.
Knock that bitch out.
There was some weird shit
going on around the house.
Chairs was movin'. Blood
was pourin' from the sink.
Trees was givin'
Clara her comeuppance.
And then corpses tried
swimming with the Foxxy.
Talk about the blind
leading the blind.
Foxxy needed to
solve this mystery.
They're here.
Don't go in there!
Aah!
Oh, I told your dumb
ass not to go in there.
Shh.
Turns out all this construction
unleashed a "turrible" secret.
Get this, our house was built on
an ancient Indian
"burrial" ground.
They moved the headstones, but
they didn't move the bodies!
Shh!
Y'all, I'm afraid we's
livin' with the lost souls
of a thousand dead injuns.
Dead Indians? That's terrible.
What kind, whoo-whoo or red dot?
Whoo-whoo.
Guys, we have to get rid of
them before they kill us all!
Everyone calm down.
Native Americans are
a peaceful people.
Just look at how they use
every part of the animal.
We screwed them injuns over.
We livin' on they land. We
gots to make things right.
Well, maybe we
could return a tiny
insignificant percentage
of the land we stole.
But not a good piece, right?
No, no no, no. We're just gonna
give them the crappy piece
in the far corner
of the backyard.
[ALL TALKING]
Genocide is easily remedied by small
gestures of inadequate compensation.
I was the chosen ambassador
'cause I was the only one
who could speak injun.
[GIBBERISH]
Baby.
[THINKING] Aw, the swing set.
Whee. I can fly. Waah! D'oh!
Owie, owie, owie.
We will take our sacred
land and honour it
just as our ancestors
would've wanted.
[ALL] A casino!
A gaudy mockery of their
once great society.
CAPTAIN HERO: Spanky and
me hit the blackjack table.
And we were gonna hit it big
'cause we had one of them
card-counting retards.
[WHIMPERING]
We were on our way
to making millions.
I think she wants us to hit.
Then we got busted.
Aah! Please stop.
We'll leave. We'll leave.
You better, 'cause if you set
foot in this casino again,
you're gonna find out just
how bad an Indian burn can be.
[SINISTER LAUGHTER]
SPANKY: No-o-o-o!
Now, is it me, or is this backyard
more crowded since the casino opened?
Yee-aah!
Ling-Ling got the right idea.
Made some ducats
off these gamblers.
[MEN OOH AND AH]
And just then, Foxxy
remembered somethin'
her mama told her when she
was only 14 years old...
You dress like a stripper.
Get the hell out my house.
I's gonna open a strip club.
I'm gonna hit the buffet.
Ow.
Spanky and I weren't going
to let those Indian thugs
push us around.
So we put on some disguises
and hit the casino.
As god's chosen people, we
were guaranteed to win big.
Now, what should we bet on?
I only have this one chip
that I arm-wrestled
that asshole for.
Owie, owie, owie,
owie, owie, owie.
Grandma, are you OK?
J'ello, commissioner.
What can I do for you?
[GASPS] The mad felcher?
I'll make quick work of him.
Who was that?
Oh, the commissioner. But I don't
have time to tell you that now.
I have to battle
the mad felcher.
That's why I can't talk.
Believe me I would if I could.
But it's out of the question.
There's just no time.
Each and every second counts. The longer
I delay, the madder the mad felcher gets.
I don't mean to be rude,
because you're my dear friend
and I wouldn't hurt your
feelings for the world.
But I have no choice.
Don't pout.
I'm a super hero
first and foremost.
When there's trouble trouble I
spring into action immediately.
It is what I do.
I don't have time for nicities
like people in other professions.
Ya know, like dog groomers
or coal miners or terrorists.
Please understand Spanky.
It's not personal.
Goodbye old, dear friend.
Now I must leave abruptly.
Wait!
Damn it man! Weren't
you paying attention?
Ooh, alright. I guess I have a minute.
What is it?
Look at the sports book.
Do you think you can
beat the mad felcher?
Are you kidding me?
That guy sucks ass.
Then we'll bet our
last chip on you.
Yes, I like that.
I'll rid the world
of an evil genius
and make some scratch
at the same time.
I'm off. Hyah!
Captain Hero to win.
Hmm... hmm?
Whoo!
We won! We're filthy rich!
[SPEAKING JAPANESE]
[MEN CHEERING AND WHISTLING]
From the start, the fox
hole was vurry popular.
Sho', it was a little tight,
but I was surprised by how many
guys I could fit up inside.
And I was rakin' in the cash.
I made 600 bucks
that first night.
Well, 600 bucks and 33 cents,
if you count what my slot
dunker found the next day.
Spanky and I made
a few more bets
and won enough money to
bribe the casino security
and make some tasteful purchases
at the casino gift shoppe.
Now all we had to
do was walk away.
Are you nuts? This is
just the beginning.
Why are you always butting
in on me like this?
This is my confessional! Mine!
Fine. We'll talk about
it back at the casino.
Now, what were you saying?
I was saying we been doing OK, but
we ain't never made the big score
because the odds are
always in your favour. Look.
The evil koala bear rapist.
That guy is a total dick,
and I won't even tell you
what he does to koala bears.
You know, we'd make
a lot more money
if you took a dive.
A dive? Pig, gimme a
minute to think about this.
Listen, pig, I've worked
out every possible scenario,
and we can't lose. Let's do it.
Bet on the koala bear rapist to win.
I am taking a dive.
Hyah!
Foxxy, I must speak with you
about this dancing you do.
Yeah, yeah, I know.
They's probably somethin'
in the bible about
thou shalt not grind thou's coochie
into thy neighbour's boner tent.
You have me all wrong.
I'm more than just the
same joke over and over.
You're thinking of Toot.
Unh.
[BOTH LAUGH AND SNICKER]
Moo.
I wanna be a professional
dancer, like you.
You see, when I was
but a wee child,
father was never around.
Father?
Not now, Clara. I'm
off to see the ballet.
Oh... oh... ohh... Oh...
Hmm?
Mmm, yeah. I love
you all very much.
Father told all his Terpsichorean
beauties that he loved them,
but he never told me.
So if you allow me to
share the stage with you,
I just know I can finally
win my father's affections.
Please, Foxxy. Please.
Oh, all right, Clara, but
the house takes a cut.
80/20. 50/50.
70/30. 60/40.
Shit, it's 60/40 already?
We gotta get somebody
on that stage.
The 80/20 show was supposed
to start 5 minutes ago.
Here, girl, take these.
Oh, thank you, Foxxy.
Now I shall send for father
so he can watch me dance.
Tweeter, take this
message to Horatio.
Horatio, take that to my father.
Captain Hero kept takin' dives,
and we were makin' more money
than a hug salesman
in retard town.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Aw...
Hmm...
Whoo-hoo, we did it. Yeah!
Yeah, we were makin' money,
and no one was gettin' hurt.
And through it all, we were
having the time of our life.
And the best part was, nothing
could possibly go wrong.
Spanky, I'm cutting
down on your take. What?
I'm the one doing the fights.
What do I need you for?
That is the last time
I trust a superhero.
Come to think of it, I probably
shouldn't have let the hulk
do my taxes, either.
Why don't they make this
schedule "d" simpler?!
Arrrghh!
Oh, well. Oh, well.
Carry the 1. Itemise.
Clara couldn't wait to
dance for her daddy.
She was like a little girl,
which tripled the number of
Japanese businessmen in attendance.
[CROWD WALLA]
[LAUGHS]
Father's not here.
I don't know why I thought this
was going to be any different.
I'm never gonna dance again.
Don't you talk dat way.
We got a packed house,
and I will beat your hide
within an inch of your miserable life
if you don't get out there and dance.
I appreciate that you won't
let me give up my dream,
but I just can't.
[GASPS] Father's here.
[SPEAKING JAPANESE]
[CHEERING AND WHISTLING]
[GASPS]
[GASPS]
[GASPS]
Oh, well, it looks
like captain me...
I mean Captain Hero...
Didn't get to that
busload of kids in time.
Where's the money?
What are you doing here, pig?
I told you I cut you out!
Cut me out of what exactly?
You know what...
What are you up to, Spanky?
Nothing but getting clarity
on what kind of illegal deals
you are involved in... Currently.
Spanky was acting very strange,
so I figured it was best
to end the conversation quickly
by describing all the specifics
and incriminating details
of my illegal scam.
So, in conclusion, I'm rich.
Are we done?
Yes, we are.
Captain Hero, your scam is over.
Captain colonicus, what
are you doing here?
On behalf of the
league of heroes,
I hereby place you under arrest
for gambling on
your own battles.
Gahh!
But how?
As I finished my dance routine,
I found myself wondering
what every woman dancing
around that pole wonders...
Will this make daddy love me?
Brava, Clara. Brava.
[CHEERING]
Oh, daddy, I love you!
Uh-uh. Customers
can't touch the girls.
Well, father, is there
something you want to say to me?
Just as I was about
to gain father's love,
I found it slipping
away once again.
Father? [CROWD
CHEERING AND WHISTLING]
Who is that sexy servant girl?
You mean Foxxy?
She sure is.
That's one civil
rights protester
I can't wait to turn my hose on.
Uhh!
Father!
Not now, buttercup.
Daddy's enjoying his ballet.
Captain Hero, you're in direct
violation of code 24601...
Gambling on your own battles.
What? Since when has
that been illegal?
For as long as stealing, sexual
assault, and murder have been.
Those are illegal, too?
Wow! I really am a
terrible superhero.
Your accounts have been frozen and
your cubicle has been cleaned out.
Now hand over your decoder ring.
But how will I decode?
You can't do this!
I created the league of heroes
and I can destroy it!
Do you honestly think
you can get all up in the league of
heroes' grill like that, girlfriend?
You threatening me?
As a matter of fact, we are.
We'll see you at the
flagpole in the parking lot
after the 3:00 bell.
Bring it.
[BLUBBERING]
Oh, help me, somebody, please!
[CROWD CHEERING AND WHISTLING]
Daddy! Daddy, look!
No hands!
Daddy.
Didn't matter how
while I danced.
I wasn't daddy's
little girl anymore.
She was.
And they did all the things
a little girl and her
father should do together.
Uhh!
You whore!
Uhh!
I had no idea what was going on,
but as soon as I finished
falling down them stairs,
I was gonna find out.
God damn it, princess!
If there wasn't a good
chance that I was pregnant
and that fall didn't help
me out of a real jam,
I would kick your ass!
Oh!
The king is my daddy,
and you took him away from me!
Listen, bitch, it ain't my fault
if your daddy want
to take care of me,
buyin' me things.
Hell, he even go and buy
ray-ray his special shoes.
He never bought
me special shoes.
Rrr-aah!
Uhh! Uhh!
Hu-uhh! Ow!
Hah! Uhh!
Hold it!
Why don't we let
the king decide?
Fine!
Father?
Sugar daddy?
Not now, babies.
Daddy's enjoying his ballet.
Mmm!
[CHEERING AND WHISTLING]
BOTH: God damn it!
I am so dead. Dead!
The league of heroes
is gonna kick my ass!
And this is all your fault!
You turned me in!
Only because you got
greedy and cut me out!
Yes, well...
I guess we both made
a big mistake here.
You mean allowing countless
innocent people to die
just so we could
make a few bucks?
No. Not that.
We stopped trusting each other.
Friends?
Friends.
Extra, extra! Read all about it!
Captain Hero favoured to win
in fight against
league of heroes!
Also, marmaduke
pulls owner on leash!
My god, cappy, are you
thinking what I'm thinking?
Friend, you've got
a bet to place.
Captain Hero is
taking one last dive.
[QUIETLY] And then I'm
cutting that pig out.
[CHEERING AND WHISTLING]
You are a very
talented young woman.
[GIGGLES] Thank you, my lord.
[GIGGLES]
Rrarr!
I can't believe it.
I lost my daddy... Again.
And I lost my sugar daddy.
And ray-ray lost
his special shoes.
[GASPS] Ray-ray, don't
you walk up them stairs
near that window next
to that trampoline
over by the pool where they
parked that garbage truck!
[RAY-RAY CRYING]
Oh, ray-ray.
That's it, Foxxy. I quit.
Father's never going
to say he loves me.
Don't give up, Clara.
There is one thing we
can do that is guaranteed
to win every man's affection.
What's that?
Mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm.
[CHEERING AND WHISTLING]
Ha ha ha ha! Oh!
Oh! Oh!
Ooh! Oh!
Mmm-mmm-mmm.
[GASPS]
Mmm!
Mmm!
[CHEERING AND WHISTLING]
Oh!
Ooh, my ass!
Oh!
[WOLF WHISTLE]
Whoo! Brava! Brava!
[CHEERING]
That was the most beautiful
thing I've ever seen.
I love you both very much.
Oh, father.
Father finally said the words I'd been
longing to hear all these years...
"I love you both very much."
It was fight night, and I was about
to stick it to that league of heroes
by taking a dive and
winning a butt-load of cash.
At sound of bell,
come out fighting.
[CHEERING AND WHISTLING]
Go! Go get 'em, tiger!
[CROWD YELLING]
Now, where is that lesson
you were going to teach me?
Maybe you should
teach us a lesson.
Oh, I really will
hit you eventually.
Chicken! Bawk bawk
bawk bawk bawk!
I'm not a chicken. You are!
[SPEAKING JAPANESE]
[CROWD YELLING]
CROWD: Aw!
Ow ow ow! I give!
Owie owie owie!
Owie owie owie! Ow ow ow!
I give!
Hey, wait a minute.
Are you guys taking a dive?
Why? Are you taking a dive?
Are you?
Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha! Oh, you gotta laugh!
This is embarrassing.
Folks, the league
of heroes and I
both tried to take
a dive here today,
and I think we've all
learned a valuable lesson.
MAN: Yeah! You suck!
No. That even though we slaughtered
the Indians and took their land,
we shouldn't let
them have casinos,
because gambling brings out the
worst in weak-minded white people.
In conclusion,
USA! USA!
USA! USA! USA!
USA! USA!
USA! USA!
USA! USA! Spanky!
We got 'em, baby! Yeah!
Hey!
Yeah!
[CHEERING]
Yeah, you suck!
than finding a zit
that's ready to be popped. Gaah!
Hey, look what we got.
It's a note from the producers.
They want us to redecorate
each other's personal space.
My task was to breathe some new
life into Toot's living space.
The kitchen.
A salad bar?
I swear I'll fucking cut you.
Hmm, that's weird.
[GRUNTS]
[SPEAKING JAPANESE]
Captain Hero and I
wanted Spanky's bathroom
to really reflect
his personality.
Spanky's gonna love
this redecoration.
Dude, that penis is sweet.
[BOTH GASP] Oh, my...
I volunteered to redesign
Foxxy's natural living space.
You're gonna love this.
[GASPS]
Hmm?
You racist motherfucker...
[CHOKING]
[SOBS] Huh?
[SCREAMS]
That's right, tree.
Knock that bitch out.
There was some weird shit
going on around the house.
Chairs was movin'. Blood
was pourin' from the sink.
Trees was givin'
Clara her comeuppance.
And then corpses tried
swimming with the Foxxy.
Talk about the blind
leading the blind.
Foxxy needed to
solve this mystery.
They're here.
Don't go in there!
Aah!
Oh, I told your dumb
ass not to go in there.
Shh.
Turns out all this construction
unleashed a "turrible" secret.
Get this, our house was built on
an ancient Indian
"burrial" ground.
They moved the headstones, but
they didn't move the bodies!
Shh!
Y'all, I'm afraid we's
livin' with the lost souls
of a thousand dead injuns.
Dead Indians? That's terrible.
What kind, whoo-whoo or red dot?
Whoo-whoo.
Guys, we have to get rid of
them before they kill us all!
Everyone calm down.
Native Americans are
a peaceful people.
Just look at how they use
every part of the animal.
We screwed them injuns over.
We livin' on they land. We
gots to make things right.
Well, maybe we
could return a tiny
insignificant percentage
of the land we stole.
But not a good piece, right?
No, no no, no. We're just gonna
give them the crappy piece
in the far corner
of the backyard.
[ALL TALKING]
Genocide is easily remedied by small
gestures of inadequate compensation.
I was the chosen ambassador
'cause I was the only one
who could speak injun.
[GIBBERISH]
Baby.
[THINKING] Aw, the swing set.
Whee. I can fly. Waah! D'oh!
Owie, owie, owie.
We will take our sacred
land and honour it
just as our ancestors
would've wanted.
[ALL] A casino!
A gaudy mockery of their
once great society.
CAPTAIN HERO: Spanky and
me hit the blackjack table.
And we were gonna hit it big
'cause we had one of them
card-counting retards.
[WHIMPERING]
We were on our way
to making millions.
I think she wants us to hit.
Then we got busted.
Aah! Please stop.
We'll leave. We'll leave.
You better, 'cause if you set
foot in this casino again,
you're gonna find out just
how bad an Indian burn can be.
[SINISTER LAUGHTER]
SPANKY: No-o-o-o!
Now, is it me, or is this backyard
more crowded since the casino opened?
Yee-aah!
Ling-Ling got the right idea.
Made some ducats
off these gamblers.
[MEN OOH AND AH]
And just then, Foxxy
remembered somethin'
her mama told her when she
was only 14 years old...
You dress like a stripper.
Get the hell out my house.
I's gonna open a strip club.
I'm gonna hit the buffet.
Ow.
Spanky and I weren't going
to let those Indian thugs
push us around.
So we put on some disguises
and hit the casino.
As god's chosen people, we
were guaranteed to win big.
Now, what should we bet on?
I only have this one chip
that I arm-wrestled
that asshole for.
Owie, owie, owie,
owie, owie, owie.
Grandma, are you OK?
J'ello, commissioner.
What can I do for you?
[GASPS] The mad felcher?
I'll make quick work of him.
Who was that?
Oh, the commissioner. But I don't
have time to tell you that now.
I have to battle
the mad felcher.
That's why I can't talk.
Believe me I would if I could.
But it's out of the question.
There's just no time.
Each and every second counts. The longer
I delay, the madder the mad felcher gets.
I don't mean to be rude,
because you're my dear friend
and I wouldn't hurt your
feelings for the world.
But I have no choice.
Don't pout.
I'm a super hero
first and foremost.
When there's trouble trouble I
spring into action immediately.
It is what I do.
I don't have time for nicities
like people in other professions.
Ya know, like dog groomers
or coal miners or terrorists.
Please understand Spanky.
It's not personal.
Goodbye old, dear friend.
Now I must leave abruptly.
Wait!
Damn it man! Weren't
you paying attention?
Ooh, alright. I guess I have a minute.
What is it?
Look at the sports book.
Do you think you can
beat the mad felcher?
Are you kidding me?
That guy sucks ass.
Then we'll bet our
last chip on you.
Yes, I like that.
I'll rid the world
of an evil genius
and make some scratch
at the same time.
I'm off. Hyah!
Captain Hero to win.
Hmm... hmm?
Whoo!
We won! We're filthy rich!
[SPEAKING JAPANESE]
[MEN CHEERING AND WHISTLING]
From the start, the fox
hole was vurry popular.
Sho', it was a little tight,
but I was surprised by how many
guys I could fit up inside.
And I was rakin' in the cash.
I made 600 bucks
that first night.
Well, 600 bucks and 33 cents,
if you count what my slot
dunker found the next day.
Spanky and I made
a few more bets
and won enough money to
bribe the casino security
and make some tasteful purchases
at the casino gift shoppe.
Now all we had to
do was walk away.
Are you nuts? This is
just the beginning.
Why are you always butting
in on me like this?
This is my confessional! Mine!
Fine. We'll talk about
it back at the casino.
Now, what were you saying?
I was saying we been doing OK, but
we ain't never made the big score
because the odds are
always in your favour. Look.
The evil koala bear rapist.
That guy is a total dick,
and I won't even tell you
what he does to koala bears.
You know, we'd make
a lot more money
if you took a dive.
A dive? Pig, gimme a
minute to think about this.
Listen, pig, I've worked
out every possible scenario,
and we can't lose. Let's do it.
Bet on the koala bear rapist to win.
I am taking a dive.
Hyah!
Foxxy, I must speak with you
about this dancing you do.
Yeah, yeah, I know.
They's probably somethin'
in the bible about
thou shalt not grind thou's coochie
into thy neighbour's boner tent.
You have me all wrong.
I'm more than just the
same joke over and over.
You're thinking of Toot.
Unh.
[BOTH LAUGH AND SNICKER]
Moo.
I wanna be a professional
dancer, like you.
You see, when I was
but a wee child,
father was never around.
Father?
Not now, Clara. I'm
off to see the ballet.
Oh... oh... ohh... Oh...
Hmm?
Mmm, yeah. I love
you all very much.
Father told all his Terpsichorean
beauties that he loved them,
but he never told me.
So if you allow me to
share the stage with you,
I just know I can finally
win my father's affections.
Please, Foxxy. Please.
Oh, all right, Clara, but
the house takes a cut.
80/20. 50/50.
70/30. 60/40.
Shit, it's 60/40 already?
We gotta get somebody
on that stage.
The 80/20 show was supposed
to start 5 minutes ago.
Here, girl, take these.
Oh, thank you, Foxxy.
Now I shall send for father
so he can watch me dance.
Tweeter, take this
message to Horatio.
Horatio, take that to my father.
Captain Hero kept takin' dives,
and we were makin' more money
than a hug salesman
in retard town.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Aw...
Hmm...
Whoo-hoo, we did it. Yeah!
Yeah, we were makin' money,
and no one was gettin' hurt.
And through it all, we were
having the time of our life.
And the best part was, nothing
could possibly go wrong.
Spanky, I'm cutting
down on your take. What?
I'm the one doing the fights.
What do I need you for?
That is the last time
I trust a superhero.
Come to think of it, I probably
shouldn't have let the hulk
do my taxes, either.
Why don't they make this
schedule "d" simpler?!
Arrrghh!
Oh, well. Oh, well.
Carry the 1. Itemise.
Clara couldn't wait to
dance for her daddy.
She was like a little girl,
which tripled the number of
Japanese businessmen in attendance.
[CROWD WALLA]
[LAUGHS]
Father's not here.
I don't know why I thought this
was going to be any different.
I'm never gonna dance again.
Don't you talk dat way.
We got a packed house,
and I will beat your hide
within an inch of your miserable life
if you don't get out there and dance.
I appreciate that you won't
let me give up my dream,
but I just can't.
[GASPS] Father's here.
[SPEAKING JAPANESE]
[CHEERING AND WHISTLING]
[GASPS]
[GASPS]
[GASPS]
Oh, well, it looks
like captain me...
I mean Captain Hero...
Didn't get to that
busload of kids in time.
Where's the money?
What are you doing here, pig?
I told you I cut you out!
Cut me out of what exactly?
You know what...
What are you up to, Spanky?
Nothing but getting clarity
on what kind of illegal deals
you are involved in... Currently.
Spanky was acting very strange,
so I figured it was best
to end the conversation quickly
by describing all the specifics
and incriminating details
of my illegal scam.
So, in conclusion, I'm rich.
Are we done?
Yes, we are.
Captain Hero, your scam is over.
Captain colonicus, what
are you doing here?
On behalf of the
league of heroes,
I hereby place you under arrest
for gambling on
your own battles.
Gahh!
But how?
As I finished my dance routine,
I found myself wondering
what every woman dancing
around that pole wonders...
Will this make daddy love me?
Brava, Clara. Brava.
[CHEERING]
Oh, daddy, I love you!
Uh-uh. Customers
can't touch the girls.
Well, father, is there
something you want to say to me?
Just as I was about
to gain father's love,
I found it slipping
away once again.
Father? [CROWD
CHEERING AND WHISTLING]
Who is that sexy servant girl?
You mean Foxxy?
She sure is.
That's one civil
rights protester
I can't wait to turn my hose on.
Uhh!
Father!
Not now, buttercup.
Daddy's enjoying his ballet.
Captain Hero, you're in direct
violation of code 24601...
Gambling on your own battles.
What? Since when has
that been illegal?
For as long as stealing, sexual
assault, and murder have been.
Those are illegal, too?
Wow! I really am a
terrible superhero.
Your accounts have been frozen and
your cubicle has been cleaned out.
Now hand over your decoder ring.
But how will I decode?
You can't do this!
I created the league of heroes
and I can destroy it!
Do you honestly think
you can get all up in the league of
heroes' grill like that, girlfriend?
You threatening me?
As a matter of fact, we are.
We'll see you at the
flagpole in the parking lot
after the 3:00 bell.
Bring it.
[BLUBBERING]
Oh, help me, somebody, please!
[CROWD CHEERING AND WHISTLING]
Daddy! Daddy, look!
No hands!
Daddy.
Didn't matter how
while I danced.
I wasn't daddy's
little girl anymore.
She was.
And they did all the things
a little girl and her
father should do together.
Uhh!
You whore!
Uhh!
I had no idea what was going on,
but as soon as I finished
falling down them stairs,
I was gonna find out.
God damn it, princess!
If there wasn't a good
chance that I was pregnant
and that fall didn't help
me out of a real jam,
I would kick your ass!
Oh!
The king is my daddy,
and you took him away from me!
Listen, bitch, it ain't my fault
if your daddy want
to take care of me,
buyin' me things.
Hell, he even go and buy
ray-ray his special shoes.
He never bought
me special shoes.
Rrr-aah!
Uhh! Uhh!
Hu-uhh! Ow!
Hah! Uhh!
Hold it!
Why don't we let
the king decide?
Fine!
Father?
Sugar daddy?
Not now, babies.
Daddy's enjoying his ballet.
Mmm!
[CHEERING AND WHISTLING]
BOTH: God damn it!
I am so dead. Dead!
The league of heroes
is gonna kick my ass!
And this is all your fault!
You turned me in!
Only because you got
greedy and cut me out!
Yes, well...
I guess we both made
a big mistake here.
You mean allowing countless
innocent people to die
just so we could
make a few bucks?
No. Not that.
We stopped trusting each other.
Friends?
Friends.
Extra, extra! Read all about it!
Captain Hero favoured to win
in fight against
league of heroes!
Also, marmaduke
pulls owner on leash!
My god, cappy, are you
thinking what I'm thinking?
Friend, you've got
a bet to place.
Captain Hero is
taking one last dive.
[QUIETLY] And then I'm
cutting that pig out.
[CHEERING AND WHISTLING]
You are a very
talented young woman.
[GIGGLES] Thank you, my lord.
[GIGGLES]
Rrarr!
I can't believe it.
I lost my daddy... Again.
And I lost my sugar daddy.
And ray-ray lost
his special shoes.
[GASPS] Ray-ray, don't
you walk up them stairs
near that window next
to that trampoline
over by the pool where they
parked that garbage truck!
[RAY-RAY CRYING]
Oh, ray-ray.
That's it, Foxxy. I quit.
Father's never going
to say he loves me.
Don't give up, Clara.
There is one thing we
can do that is guaranteed
to win every man's affection.
What's that?
Mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm.
[CHEERING AND WHISTLING]
Ha ha ha ha! Oh!
Oh! Oh!
Ooh! Oh!
Mmm-mmm-mmm.
[GASPS]
Mmm!
Mmm!
[CHEERING AND WHISTLING]
Oh!
Ooh, my ass!
Oh!
[WOLF WHISTLE]
Whoo! Brava! Brava!
[CHEERING]
That was the most beautiful
thing I've ever seen.
I love you both very much.
Oh, father.
Father finally said the words I'd been
longing to hear all these years...
"I love you both very much."
It was fight night, and I was about
to stick it to that league of heroes
by taking a dive and
winning a butt-load of cash.
At sound of bell,
come out fighting.
[CHEERING AND WHISTLING]
Go! Go get 'em, tiger!
[CROWD YELLING]
Now, where is that lesson
you were going to teach me?
Maybe you should
teach us a lesson.
Oh, I really will
hit you eventually.
Chicken! Bawk bawk
bawk bawk bawk!
I'm not a chicken. You are!
[SPEAKING JAPANESE]
[CROWD YELLING]
CROWD: Aw!
Ow ow ow! I give!
Owie owie owie!
Owie owie owie! Ow ow ow!
I give!
Hey, wait a minute.
Are you guys taking a dive?
Why? Are you taking a dive?
Are you?
Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha! Oh, you gotta laugh!
This is embarrassing.
Folks, the league
of heroes and I
both tried to take
a dive here today,
and I think we've all
learned a valuable lesson.
MAN: Yeah! You suck!
No. That even though we slaughtered
the Indians and took their land,
we shouldn't let
them have casinos,
because gambling brings out the
worst in weak-minded white people.
In conclusion,
USA! USA!
USA! USA! USA!
USA! USA!
USA! USA!
USA! USA! Spanky!
We got 'em, baby! Yeah!
Hey!
Yeah!
[CHEERING]
Yeah, you suck!