Drawn Together (2004–2007): Season 2, Episode 12 - The Lemon AIDS Walk - full transcript
The Producers arrange a badminton contest between the house-mates and another group of cartoons, during which Captain Hero's shameful weakness is exposed: he's terrible at sports. Hero despairs of ever finding a sport he can excel at, until he hears about a charity walk to raise money for AIDS research. Ignoring Foxxy's explanation that the event is non-competitive, Hero insists that he's going to get in shape and win the walk. When his initial efforts fall short, however, he decides to turn to chemical means of gaining an edge. As this is going on, Wooldoor goes to the mall with Spanky, where he gets pressured into stealing candy. Wooldoor is caught by mall security an punished with hard time. He serves his sentence without problems, but discovers upon release that the rest of the world has changed.
Housemates, report
to the backyard.
FOXXY: The producers set
up a badminton challenge
between us and the original
cast Drawn Together.
Prepared to be transformed
into a bunch of losers.
All right, team, let's make
these guys eat shuttlecock.
Hey, can we get this
game going already?
ALL: Ready!
I got it! All mine!
Ooh!
Interference. Xandir
was totally offsides.
Do over. [GRUNTS]
Dude, you're the worst
athlete I've ever seen,
and I've been to, like,
every special Olympics.
There's this one guy, basically
just a head on a spring,
and he's way better than you.
I can't help it.
I can't do sports, OK?
There. Now you know
my kryptonite...
Doing sports games.
Are you happy? I hate you all.
[SOBBING]
Congratulations original
cast Drawn Together.
For winning the badminton game
you'll receive a pound of ground beef
and a quarter cup of water.
Booyah! That's all I need!
Proceed to main title sequence.
Ah!
I suck.
Keep 'em coming.
I think you've had
enough lemonade, mister.
I'll tell you when I've had
enough lemonade, mister.
Just give me the
whole damn lemon.
[GRUNTS]
Mmmmmmmmm! Gg!
Hey, Wooldoor, jump on.
Let's go do something cool.
I can't, Spanky. It's Sunday.
You know, my special
day to make lemonade
with my bestest friend Clara.
Well, unless you're
making lemonade on Clara,
that's nothing special.
Hmm.
Yoo-hoo!
Hmm.
OK, Spanky.
Let's go.
We're off to the coolest
place in all the land...
The mall.
Oh, you're beautiful.
What's your name, mister?
Oh, please.
I only chat with real men
who know how to play sports.
[SOBBING]
Shrek 2 was right.
What kind of man is bad
at doing sports games?
Oh, lord, if there is a sport
out there that I can master,
please give me a sign.
Hey, y'all, who
wants to sponsor me?
I'm walking in the
aids walk next week.
It's per mile.
Walk? I can walk.
So you are gonna sponsor me?
You know it's per mile, right?
Hells, no, I won't
be sponsoring you.
I'll be sponsoring me
to win the aids walk.
The aids walk is not
competition, asshole.
It's a charity, like not
spitting on ugly people.
I gave at the office.
I'll practice night and day.
Before you know it, I'll do
more walking and have more aids
than you can possibly imagine.
You were right, Spanky.
This is so much cooler than
doing a lemonade stand.
But I don't have any
money to buy this candy.
If you were really cool,
you'd just steal it.
I can't do that. Why not?
'Cause I'm right here and I can
hear everything you're saying.
Don't listen to her, Wooldoor.
Just slip the bag under
your shirt and walk out.
She'll never know.
Yes, I will.
And so will the security guard.
Hey, how you doing, fella?
Who are you gonna
listen to, Wooldoor?
Me, your cool friend,
or some filthy whore
off the street?
I didn't know what to do.
I've never stolen
anything in my life.
But Spanky was pretty cool,
and she was a
filthy, filthy whore.
[SOBBING]
[SIGHS]
That'll be 2.46.
Can you break a 50?
[SOBBING]
It's over.
Just drop the candy and
step away from the ledge.
Please, mister.
I didn't mean to do it.
I don't care.
I'm telling you, step
away or the bitch gets it!
No! Don't do it!
I'm not gonna say it again!
Run! He's gonna kill me
no matter what you do.
No, no, no. Don't do it.
I give up.
Uh! [SOBBING]
Take him away.
And now to tie up
some loose ends.
[GUNSHOT] [BIRDS SQUAWKING]
I don't know how
long I was trapped
in that mall security-slash-
lost and found lounge.
It could've been 1 minute.
It could've been 10.
Oh. Ooh.
[CRUNCHING]
Hey, you, uh, Wooldoor Sockbat?
Yes, mister.
Sign here and you can go.
Go? You mean... I'm
being let out already?
Well, sure. All you did
was steal some candy.
It's not like you chewed off someone's
arm, testicles, and part of their face.
George, let him out.
OK, you're free to go.
Hey, subplot, out of my way.
Main story coming through.
The aids walk was drawing near,
and I was determined
to bring home the gold.
So I joined the most
elite walking force
in the free world...
The mall walkers.
Wow. You guys are good.
I mean like "5-time
world-walking champion"
"Jose 'daddy long
legs' Martinez" good.
Watch out!
You should go play badminton.
Go back to jogging, you homo.
Oh. OK, you guys go on ahead.
I sucked at all sports games,
even walking.
There was no way I
could win the aids walk.
But then I saw something
that gave me an idea.
Hey there, bub. I need the
strongest stuff you've got.
Well, sir, we've got a terrific
line of herbal supplements.
Herbal? What do I
look like to you?
Some crazy wacko who'll put
anything inside his body
and then take pictures
of it coming out
and post them on his web site
which gets over 10,000 hits a
day, most of them in Germany?
Do I? Do I?
Then I guess you wouldn't
be interested in, uh,
steroids.
Oh, I like to whisper, too.
My only problem is, I
never know what to whisper.
So sometimes I just
pretend, like this.
Psst-pss-psst-pss.
Pss-psst-pss-psst.
Um... uh, I'm gonna
take that as a "yes."
Please, sir, walk this way.
If I could walk that way,
I wouldn't need steroids.
Boo!
Dear fellas,
I can't believe how fast
things move on the outside.
I saw an automobile
once when I was a kid,
but now they're everywhere.
[GASPS]
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
[ROOSTER CROWING]
The world went and got
itself in a big damn hurry.
The parole board got me a job
bagging groceries
at the foodway.
It's hard work, and
I try to keep up,
but my hands hurt
most of the time.
I don't think the store
manager likes me very much.
Hey, uh, boss, can I go to the potty?
Please.
How many times do
I have to tell you?
You ain't got to ask me.
Maybe an hour in the
hole will teach you.
Life on the outside is
just too much to handle.
I wish there was something
I could grab on to
so things could be like they
were before I went away.
The way they were with Clara
and our lemonade stand.
Why did you give him money? You know
he's just gonna spend it on lemonade.
I started training with my new
workout partner, Mr. Steroids.
I must get stronger. Stronger!
I needed more steroids
but I was out of money.
Luckily I soon found
an easy source of cash.
Sponsor me! Sponsor me!
OK. Here.
Take it.
Sponsor me!
Gwaa.
Sponsor me!
Sponsor me!
Ooh.
[GRUNTING]
I didn't know what
Captain Hero was up to,
so I needed to run some tests.
I was afraid of this.
Steroids.
Clara?
Wooldoor. When did you get out?
Clara, the only thing
that got me through my time in the mall
security-slash-lost and found lounge
was thinking about you
and our lemonade stand.
Well, I, uh...
Evening, old-timer.
Oh. What? Wooldoor?
Huh?
[GASPS]
Awkward!
Wooldoor, listen. I didn't
know how long you'd be in...
How could you guys?
How could you?
[SOBBING]
I feel so guilty.
Me too, poor Wooldoor.
No, not about that.
I watered down one of the
lemonade jugs with my piss.
If only I knew which one.
FOXXY: Captain Hero
was in trouble.
So we decided to
stage an intervention.
Everybody ready?
Oh, you must be here
to see Captain Hero,
'cause you are a 12-year-old
girl and a donkey.
Really? Matthew Broderick and
Sarah Jessica Parker are here?
Hey, what gives?
Hero, we all know
you're abusing steroids,
and we're worried about you.
We love you.
Anyway, addiction is dangerous,
whether it's drugs
or lottery tickets
or super lotto or
megaplay jackpot
or triple scratch lot... goddamn,
I got to get some lottery tickets.
I'm gonna win big this time.
I can feel it.
This is nonsense.
The only thing I'm addicted
to is fighting crime,
making lists of 3s...
Be that as it may,
steroids cause cancer,
kidney failure, heart
problems, home run records.
And on occasion, they've been
known to cause fits of rage.
Fits of rage? I'll
show you fits of rage.
Agggh!
Listen, I know the gang's
hearts were in the right place,
but surprising me with an
intervention was just wrong.
Ahhhhh!
I mean OK, maybe I do
have a bit of a problem,
but there's a right way and a wrong
way to talk about these things.
Ya know?
[SIGHS] Sometimes it can be such
a drag living with roommates.
Agggh!
I don't need this place.
I don't need any of you.
You're all dead to me.
Hoo-ha, hoo-ha.
Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Wah! Wah!
Ahh! Ahh! Ahh!
[POP] [CROWD CHEERING]
[ORGAN PLAYS "CHARGE"]
The dude at the nutrition store
gave me an address for
this place I could go,
a place he said where I could
be with people like myself.
Ah-Ga-Ga-Ga-Ga.
I have nowhere else to go.
My friends just don't get me.
I gets ya.
As long as you don't
gets with me olive oyl.
She's my number-one goyl.
Get your skinny ass out
there and earn, bitch.
Ooh, look at all the mus-cles.
I can hooks you up, cap'n.
I just scored some great roids
from the jolly green giant.
Sweet.
You've got some creamed
spinach on your cheek.
Oh. That's not spinach.
Ha-ha-Ga-Ga-Ga!
[SOBBING]
I was finally in a place
where no one would judge me,
except maybe judge fudge.
I'd never judge you, baby.
I'm far too busy
being delicious.
Everyone had moved
on without me.
There was no place in the modern
world for Wooldoor Sockbat.
I had to get back to the only
place that made any sense to me...
The mall security-slash-
lost and found lounge.
Oops. That's not right.
Ahh. That's the stuff.
My best friend Popeye and I
were getting bigger
than we ever imagined.
Soon we would
become so powerful,
we'd rule the galaxy
as father and son,
which, unless I become
completely misguided,
is why I started taking
steroids in the first place.
Nothing could stand in our way.
Nothing.
Nothing.
BOTH: Ha ha ha ha ha!
[COUGHING]
Popeye, are you all right?
It's times you knew.
I've contracted the
deadly aids virus
from sharing steroid needles.
Aids?
How come I've never
heard of this aids?
They should have a walk or
something to raise awareness.
[GROANS] Get clean
for me, cap'n.
[COUGHING]
♪ Oh, I'm weaks at the finish ♪
♪ 'Cause aids
beats out spinach ♪
[COUGHING]
♪ I'm popeye the dying man ♪
♪ Of aids ♪
Nooooooooo!
[BIRDS SQUAWKING]
I should never have betrayed
my dear friend Wooldoor.
Wooldoor? Wooldoor?
So I went to his
room to apologise,
and what I saw shocked me.
Goddamn it, I'm
using the toilet.
[FARTS] But you can use
the sink if you wanna.
Eww!
So after I took a
grunt in the sink,
I went to Wooldoor's room,
and what I saw shocked me.
Oh, my god.
Wooldoor's planning
to steal again.
I must stop him before he
flushes his life down the sink.
It was zero hour,
time to put "operation go back to mall
security-slash-lost and found lounge"
into effect.
♪ Da-da-da, da da da da ♪
♪ Da da da-da-da,
da da ba ba ba ♪
♪ Da da ba ba ba ♪
♪ Da da da doo-dum ♪
♪ Da da da ba da
da da da ba-bum ♪
Yahh!
Whee!
Attention. We have
an ru486 in progress.
[CAT SCREECHES]
Whee!
[SOBBING]
CLARA: Psst. Wooldoor. Up here.
We can escape through this vent.
No. I don't want your help.
Oh, Wooldoor, I'm sorry
I didn't wait for you.
You deserved better.
Oh, Clara.
That's all I ever wanted to hear.
Ah!
Go home, Clara.
Forget about me.
Like you've forgotten the social
advances of the last 40 years.
No, Wooldoor. I promise
I'll wait this time.
No matter how long it
takes, I will wait.
Really? You know, it's gonna
be like 20, 25 minutes.
I don't care if it's 28 minutes.
I'll be right here.
Oh, Clara.
Clara, they let me out
early for good behaviour.
Eh... Clara?
Sorry, dude. She took
off like 10 minutes ago.
Ahhhhhh!
No, no, no, no, no!
[GASPS] Hero, what
are you doing here?
You are the second
to last person
I ever thought I'd see again.
Oh, little Timmy.
Mommy Misses you.
I lost my way, housemates,
and for that, I'm truly sorry.
But I made a promise to a friend
as he lay dying in
my hulking biceps
that I'd win this aids walk
and that I'd do
it clean for him.
Oh, I'm so proud of you, hero.
You're like the son the courts
will never allow me to have.
OK, walkers, each lap
around the park is 1 mile.
Let's have fun and raise
some money for a great cause.
[GRUNTS]
I'll make you proud, popeye.
Out of my way.
♪ Winner takes it all ♪
♪ Loser takes a fall ♪
Walk, hero. Walk like an eagle.
♪ Winner takes it all ♪
♪ Loser takes a fall ♪
♪ Winner takes it all ♪
♪ Loser takes a fall ♪
♪ In time you'll make
it over the top ♪
I won. I won!
You dumb ass. Look what you did.
Didn't I tell you
it was per mile?
Everyone's dead or wounded
before they finished
even one lap.
We won't raise a dime!
The aids walk is ruined!
I don't quite follow you.
But I get the gist of what
you're saying, friend.
I thank you for your
hearty congratulations,
and I accept your strange trophy
as a token of my
impressive victory.
I did it, popeye.
I did it for you!
Who the hell is that asshole?
Toot-Toot!
♪ Fudge ♪
♪ He's the man ♪
♪ Putting bad guys
in the slammer ♪
♪ Rules the street ♪
♪ With a sweet milky
fist of justice ♪
♪ He don't eat
krispies or nuts ♪
Hell, no.
♪ 'Cause he's got
ball-all-all-alls ♪
WOMAN: Judge fudge, my son is
being mauled by a polar bear.
Help me, help me, please!
Sorry, baby.
I don't have time
to save your son.
I'm far too busy
being delicious.
Fudge.
to the backyard.
FOXXY: The producers set
up a badminton challenge
between us and the original
cast Drawn Together.
Prepared to be transformed
into a bunch of losers.
All right, team, let's make
these guys eat shuttlecock.
Hey, can we get this
game going already?
ALL: Ready!
I got it! All mine!
Ooh!
Interference. Xandir
was totally offsides.
Do over. [GRUNTS]
Dude, you're the worst
athlete I've ever seen,
and I've been to, like,
every special Olympics.
There's this one guy, basically
just a head on a spring,
and he's way better than you.
I can't help it.
I can't do sports, OK?
There. Now you know
my kryptonite...
Doing sports games.
Are you happy? I hate you all.
[SOBBING]
Congratulations original
cast Drawn Together.
For winning the badminton game
you'll receive a pound of ground beef
and a quarter cup of water.
Booyah! That's all I need!
Proceed to main title sequence.
Ah!
I suck.
Keep 'em coming.
I think you've had
enough lemonade, mister.
I'll tell you when I've had
enough lemonade, mister.
Just give me the
whole damn lemon.
[GRUNTS]
Mmmmmmmmm! Gg!
Hey, Wooldoor, jump on.
Let's go do something cool.
I can't, Spanky. It's Sunday.
You know, my special
day to make lemonade
with my bestest friend Clara.
Well, unless you're
making lemonade on Clara,
that's nothing special.
Hmm.
Yoo-hoo!
Hmm.
OK, Spanky.
Let's go.
We're off to the coolest
place in all the land...
The mall.
Oh, you're beautiful.
What's your name, mister?
Oh, please.
I only chat with real men
who know how to play sports.
[SOBBING]
Shrek 2 was right.
What kind of man is bad
at doing sports games?
Oh, lord, if there is a sport
out there that I can master,
please give me a sign.
Hey, y'all, who
wants to sponsor me?
I'm walking in the
aids walk next week.
It's per mile.
Walk? I can walk.
So you are gonna sponsor me?
You know it's per mile, right?
Hells, no, I won't
be sponsoring you.
I'll be sponsoring me
to win the aids walk.
The aids walk is not
competition, asshole.
It's a charity, like not
spitting on ugly people.
I gave at the office.
I'll practice night and day.
Before you know it, I'll do
more walking and have more aids
than you can possibly imagine.
You were right, Spanky.
This is so much cooler than
doing a lemonade stand.
But I don't have any
money to buy this candy.
If you were really cool,
you'd just steal it.
I can't do that. Why not?
'Cause I'm right here and I can
hear everything you're saying.
Don't listen to her, Wooldoor.
Just slip the bag under
your shirt and walk out.
She'll never know.
Yes, I will.
And so will the security guard.
Hey, how you doing, fella?
Who are you gonna
listen to, Wooldoor?
Me, your cool friend,
or some filthy whore
off the street?
I didn't know what to do.
I've never stolen
anything in my life.
But Spanky was pretty cool,
and she was a
filthy, filthy whore.
[SOBBING]
[SIGHS]
That'll be 2.46.
Can you break a 50?
[SOBBING]
It's over.
Just drop the candy and
step away from the ledge.
Please, mister.
I didn't mean to do it.
I don't care.
I'm telling you, step
away or the bitch gets it!
No! Don't do it!
I'm not gonna say it again!
Run! He's gonna kill me
no matter what you do.
No, no, no. Don't do it.
I give up.
Uh! [SOBBING]
Take him away.
And now to tie up
some loose ends.
[GUNSHOT] [BIRDS SQUAWKING]
I don't know how
long I was trapped
in that mall security-slash-
lost and found lounge.
It could've been 1 minute.
It could've been 10.
Oh. Ooh.
[CRUNCHING]
Hey, you, uh, Wooldoor Sockbat?
Yes, mister.
Sign here and you can go.
Go? You mean... I'm
being let out already?
Well, sure. All you did
was steal some candy.
It's not like you chewed off someone's
arm, testicles, and part of their face.
George, let him out.
OK, you're free to go.
Hey, subplot, out of my way.
Main story coming through.
The aids walk was drawing near,
and I was determined
to bring home the gold.
So I joined the most
elite walking force
in the free world...
The mall walkers.
Wow. You guys are good.
I mean like "5-time
world-walking champion"
"Jose 'daddy long
legs' Martinez" good.
Watch out!
You should go play badminton.
Go back to jogging, you homo.
Oh. OK, you guys go on ahead.
I sucked at all sports games,
even walking.
There was no way I
could win the aids walk.
But then I saw something
that gave me an idea.
Hey there, bub. I need the
strongest stuff you've got.
Well, sir, we've got a terrific
line of herbal supplements.
Herbal? What do I
look like to you?
Some crazy wacko who'll put
anything inside his body
and then take pictures
of it coming out
and post them on his web site
which gets over 10,000 hits a
day, most of them in Germany?
Do I? Do I?
Then I guess you wouldn't
be interested in, uh,
steroids.
Oh, I like to whisper, too.
My only problem is, I
never know what to whisper.
So sometimes I just
pretend, like this.
Psst-pss-psst-pss.
Pss-psst-pss-psst.
Um... uh, I'm gonna
take that as a "yes."
Please, sir, walk this way.
If I could walk that way,
I wouldn't need steroids.
Boo!
Dear fellas,
I can't believe how fast
things move on the outside.
I saw an automobile
once when I was a kid,
but now they're everywhere.
[GASPS]
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
[ROOSTER CROWING]
The world went and got
itself in a big damn hurry.
The parole board got me a job
bagging groceries
at the foodway.
It's hard work, and
I try to keep up,
but my hands hurt
most of the time.
I don't think the store
manager likes me very much.
Hey, uh, boss, can I go to the potty?
Please.
How many times do
I have to tell you?
You ain't got to ask me.
Maybe an hour in the
hole will teach you.
Life on the outside is
just too much to handle.
I wish there was something
I could grab on to
so things could be like they
were before I went away.
The way they were with Clara
and our lemonade stand.
Why did you give him money? You know
he's just gonna spend it on lemonade.
I started training with my new
workout partner, Mr. Steroids.
I must get stronger. Stronger!
I needed more steroids
but I was out of money.
Luckily I soon found
an easy source of cash.
Sponsor me! Sponsor me!
OK. Here.
Take it.
Sponsor me!
Gwaa.
Sponsor me!
Sponsor me!
Ooh.
[GRUNTING]
I didn't know what
Captain Hero was up to,
so I needed to run some tests.
I was afraid of this.
Steroids.
Clara?
Wooldoor. When did you get out?
Clara, the only thing
that got me through my time in the mall
security-slash-lost and found lounge
was thinking about you
and our lemonade stand.
Well, I, uh...
Evening, old-timer.
Oh. What? Wooldoor?
Huh?
[GASPS]
Awkward!
Wooldoor, listen. I didn't
know how long you'd be in...
How could you guys?
How could you?
[SOBBING]
I feel so guilty.
Me too, poor Wooldoor.
No, not about that.
I watered down one of the
lemonade jugs with my piss.
If only I knew which one.
FOXXY: Captain Hero
was in trouble.
So we decided to
stage an intervention.
Everybody ready?
Oh, you must be here
to see Captain Hero,
'cause you are a 12-year-old
girl and a donkey.
Really? Matthew Broderick and
Sarah Jessica Parker are here?
Hey, what gives?
Hero, we all know
you're abusing steroids,
and we're worried about you.
We love you.
Anyway, addiction is dangerous,
whether it's drugs
or lottery tickets
or super lotto or
megaplay jackpot
or triple scratch lot... goddamn,
I got to get some lottery tickets.
I'm gonna win big this time.
I can feel it.
This is nonsense.
The only thing I'm addicted
to is fighting crime,
making lists of 3s...
Be that as it may,
steroids cause cancer,
kidney failure, heart
problems, home run records.
And on occasion, they've been
known to cause fits of rage.
Fits of rage? I'll
show you fits of rage.
Agggh!
Listen, I know the gang's
hearts were in the right place,
but surprising me with an
intervention was just wrong.
Ahhhhh!
I mean OK, maybe I do
have a bit of a problem,
but there's a right way and a wrong
way to talk about these things.
Ya know?
[SIGHS] Sometimes it can be such
a drag living with roommates.
Agggh!
I don't need this place.
I don't need any of you.
You're all dead to me.
Hoo-ha, hoo-ha.
Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Wah! Wah!
Ahh! Ahh! Ahh!
[POP] [CROWD CHEERING]
[ORGAN PLAYS "CHARGE"]
The dude at the nutrition store
gave me an address for
this place I could go,
a place he said where I could
be with people like myself.
Ah-Ga-Ga-Ga-Ga.
I have nowhere else to go.
My friends just don't get me.
I gets ya.
As long as you don't
gets with me olive oyl.
She's my number-one goyl.
Get your skinny ass out
there and earn, bitch.
Ooh, look at all the mus-cles.
I can hooks you up, cap'n.
I just scored some great roids
from the jolly green giant.
Sweet.
You've got some creamed
spinach on your cheek.
Oh. That's not spinach.
Ha-ha-Ga-Ga-Ga!
[SOBBING]
I was finally in a place
where no one would judge me,
except maybe judge fudge.
I'd never judge you, baby.
I'm far too busy
being delicious.
Everyone had moved
on without me.
There was no place in the modern
world for Wooldoor Sockbat.
I had to get back to the only
place that made any sense to me...
The mall security-slash-
lost and found lounge.
Oops. That's not right.
Ahh. That's the stuff.
My best friend Popeye and I
were getting bigger
than we ever imagined.
Soon we would
become so powerful,
we'd rule the galaxy
as father and son,
which, unless I become
completely misguided,
is why I started taking
steroids in the first place.
Nothing could stand in our way.
Nothing.
Nothing.
BOTH: Ha ha ha ha ha!
[COUGHING]
Popeye, are you all right?
It's times you knew.
I've contracted the
deadly aids virus
from sharing steroid needles.
Aids?
How come I've never
heard of this aids?
They should have a walk or
something to raise awareness.
[GROANS] Get clean
for me, cap'n.
[COUGHING]
♪ Oh, I'm weaks at the finish ♪
♪ 'Cause aids
beats out spinach ♪
[COUGHING]
♪ I'm popeye the dying man ♪
♪ Of aids ♪
Nooooooooo!
[BIRDS SQUAWKING]
I should never have betrayed
my dear friend Wooldoor.
Wooldoor? Wooldoor?
So I went to his
room to apologise,
and what I saw shocked me.
Goddamn it, I'm
using the toilet.
[FARTS] But you can use
the sink if you wanna.
Eww!
So after I took a
grunt in the sink,
I went to Wooldoor's room,
and what I saw shocked me.
Oh, my god.
Wooldoor's planning
to steal again.
I must stop him before he
flushes his life down the sink.
It was zero hour,
time to put "operation go back to mall
security-slash-lost and found lounge"
into effect.
♪ Da-da-da, da da da da ♪
♪ Da da da-da-da,
da da ba ba ba ♪
♪ Da da ba ba ba ♪
♪ Da da da doo-dum ♪
♪ Da da da ba da
da da da ba-bum ♪
Yahh!
Whee!
Attention. We have
an ru486 in progress.
[CAT SCREECHES]
Whee!
[SOBBING]
CLARA: Psst. Wooldoor. Up here.
We can escape through this vent.
No. I don't want your help.
Oh, Wooldoor, I'm sorry
I didn't wait for you.
You deserved better.
Oh, Clara.
That's all I ever wanted to hear.
Ah!
Go home, Clara.
Forget about me.
Like you've forgotten the social
advances of the last 40 years.
No, Wooldoor. I promise
I'll wait this time.
No matter how long it
takes, I will wait.
Really? You know, it's gonna
be like 20, 25 minutes.
I don't care if it's 28 minutes.
I'll be right here.
Oh, Clara.
Clara, they let me out
early for good behaviour.
Eh... Clara?
Sorry, dude. She took
off like 10 minutes ago.
Ahhhhhh!
No, no, no, no, no!
[GASPS] Hero, what
are you doing here?
You are the second
to last person
I ever thought I'd see again.
Oh, little Timmy.
Mommy Misses you.
I lost my way, housemates,
and for that, I'm truly sorry.
But I made a promise to a friend
as he lay dying in
my hulking biceps
that I'd win this aids walk
and that I'd do
it clean for him.
Oh, I'm so proud of you, hero.
You're like the son the courts
will never allow me to have.
OK, walkers, each lap
around the park is 1 mile.
Let's have fun and raise
some money for a great cause.
[GRUNTS]
I'll make you proud, popeye.
Out of my way.
♪ Winner takes it all ♪
♪ Loser takes a fall ♪
Walk, hero. Walk like an eagle.
♪ Winner takes it all ♪
♪ Loser takes a fall ♪
♪ Winner takes it all ♪
♪ Loser takes a fall ♪
♪ In time you'll make
it over the top ♪
I won. I won!
You dumb ass. Look what you did.
Didn't I tell you
it was per mile?
Everyone's dead or wounded
before they finished
even one lap.
We won't raise a dime!
The aids walk is ruined!
I don't quite follow you.
But I get the gist of what
you're saying, friend.
I thank you for your
hearty congratulations,
and I accept your strange trophy
as a token of my
impressive victory.
I did it, popeye.
I did it for you!
Who the hell is that asshole?
Toot-Toot!
♪ Fudge ♪
♪ He's the man ♪
♪ Putting bad guys
in the slammer ♪
♪ Rules the street ♪
♪ With a sweet milky
fist of justice ♪
♪ He don't eat
krispies or nuts ♪
Hell, no.
♪ 'Cause he's got
ball-all-all-alls ♪
WOMAN: Judge fudge, my son is
being mauled by a polar bear.
Help me, help me, please!
Sorry, baby.
I don't have time
to save your son.
I'm far too busy
being delicious.
Fudge.