Drake & Josh (2004–2007): Season 1, Episode 2 - Dune Buggy - full transcript

Drake takes a dune buggy that his friend gave them for a ride when he is not suppose to and he ends up at the hospital after he crashes.

Drake is unbelievable.

He's one of those guys who just gets away
with anything, you know.

Time for a snack.

He does whatever he wants and,
like never gets in touble.

Cake is good.

It's like he leads a charmed life.
Must be nice.

Me, I always try to do the right thing.
- Milk.

I follow all the rules. 'Cause if I even think
about doing something wrong..

I get busted.
I don't get it.

I wish I knew Drake's secret.

Just once, I'd like to get away with something..



Josh, get your feet off the coffee table!

Every time!

Where's Scottie's brother with the dune buggy?
- Calm down. He'll be here any minute.

I can't wait! I've never
had a dune buggy before!

We're gonna buggy it up!

Hello. Trevor, where are you?
- Who is it?

Scottie's brother.
- Where is he?

You're lost?
- Lost?

Okay, okay..
Where are you right now?

look around and tell me what you see.

... and I see some bushes,
and a tree..

And a dog..
Boy dog

And I see you.
- You're here.

Where's the buggy?
- Open up the door.



This is gonna be awesome.

We can drive to the Zippy Mart whenever we want.

We can drive girls to the Zippy Mart.
- Yes..

'cause girls love convenience stores.
The buggy!

That's it?

What happened to it?
- You said it was in good shape.

It is..

You shoulda seen it before I fixed it up.

Oh, now I'm all depressed.

Wel-well, come on.
At least it runs..

right?

Oh yeah.
It runs.

Cool!
Come on, Josh, jump in.

Okay!
It's buggy time!

You said it runs.

Oh, you meant the dune buggy.

Yeah, no..
That-that's broken.

See ya.

It's not buggy time..

It's dead buggy time.

..I'm Tony Pajamas and from now on,
I ask the questions. Sit down. Sit down!

You're still researching?
- Yeah..

I found all kinds of great stuff on
how to repair a dune buggy.

You've done enough research. Come on.
Let's go get started on it.

Quit it.
I'm tryin' to read a website on tires.

Come on. We use some tools.
We tighten things..

you know.. Maybe throw some oil in the
oil hole and we're good to go.

Oil hole?

Quit whappin' my head!
- Then come on.

You see what you do?

You did it first!
- , but my pillow didn't cause anything to explode.

What are we gonna do?
Mom and dad are gonna kill us!

No they won't..

They're gonna kill you.

You're the one who ducked!
You ducker!

Oh, I'm gonna be in so much trouble.
- Dude..

there is a very easy way out of this.
- What?

Lie.
- Lie?

Lie.
- Lie.

Yeah. If mom and dad ask about the TV,
you don't know what happened.

But-but that's not the truth.
- Which is why they call it lying.

I don't know.
Lying.

It seems so wrong.
- You wanna get grounded?

But it feels so right.

Boys, where's the remote?

Uh, I-I don't know..
I-I-I-I think it's lost.

Why-why don't you read a book?

I already took algebra.

What-what-what are you doing?

You know, you can walk over
to the TV and turn it on by hand.

That's crazy talk. What is this?
The old west? Yeehaw! No.

Is there something on TV you don't want me to see?
- No, I just..

It's not working.
- Well I'm thinkin' I don't.

Josh!
- It was the pillow! A pillow!

I threw it and it hit the soda and the root beer
with the spilling on the TV and then.. pboom!

Look, Josh. I don't care about
the pillow. I don't care about the TV.

You don't?
- No. I care that you lied to me.

I'm really disappointed in you.

I'm sorry.
- You should be.

So, am I grounded for breaking the TV?
- No..

You're grounded for lying to me.

And, you're gonna have to do a lot
more work around this house.

I drink root beer..
You don't see me exploding!

Dune buggy's lookin' good.
You got a lot done.

Well. I've had a lot of time
since I'm grounded for lying!

Of course, I get to do fun
chores like scrubbing the toilets!

You might wanna scrub the upstairs
one again. Sorry.

I never should have let you
convince me to lie.

You didn't get in trouble for lying.
You got in trouble for lying badly.

It's not fair! You never get in trouble!
You get away with everything!

Yeah. I do, don't I?
So, you got this thing runnin' yet?

Not yet. But close.
Gimme a hand.

What do these two wires go to?

I think maybe it's the horn!

Dare I?
- Do it!

Yes!
- Yeah!

Tunes!

Uh, guys?
- Hey how cool is this thing?

You wanna see us take it out for a spin?
Go, Drake.

Honey?

What?
- You can't drive this out in the street!

Sure we can!
- This thing'll do 50!

I mean you're not allowed to drive it.
- Why not?

Why? You're too young.
- You don't have driver's liscenses.

It's dangerous.
- thing can't be street legal.

It-it doesn't even have turn signals.
- Oh, n-n-n-n-no. That's why I have Josh. Look.

Left!
Right!

See?
- Sorry guys.

Nope.
- Why'd you let us fix it up if you weren't gonna let us drive it?

We never thought you'd actually get it running.

Look, when we go up to the lake this summer,
we can take it along, you'll drive it there.

Slowly.. With helmets on..
And bubble wrap.

'Till then, it stays in the garage.
We clear?

Yeah..
- We're clear.

Well I'm not just gonna sit in here.

Me neither.

Who mops?
- I'll tell you who mops..

young men who get punished because
you talked 'em into lying.

Once again, you were not
punished because you lied

I know: I got punished because I lied badly.
Sing a new song, would you?

Hey. Mom and dad still gone?
- Yeah, why?

Let's take the dune buggy out before they get back.

Didn't you listen? We're not allowed.
- I know..

That's why I said: "before they get back".

Not unh. It's too risky.
I'll get caught.

No, cause you'll be with me.
And I never get caught, remember?

Yeah. But you'll be with me. And I always get caught.
I'm already grounded.

So you have nothing to loose.
- You wanna get in trouble and end up mopping floors like me?

Will I get to wear that purdy apron?

Come on, let's just go for a spin.

No means no.
And thank you for germin' up the family juice.

Fine. You win.

Fun crusher!
- Juice germer!

I'm telling mom you drank out of the carton.

Hey baby.
Want a ride?

Yeah, I thought so.
Hop in.

You look good!
Let's go.

Wha-wha-what's that baby?
You want me to pull over here so we can make out?

Well, if that's what you want baby.
Pucker up.

Well, okay.

What are you doing here?
- I just came to see how the dune buggy's comin'.

It's lookin' good.
- Not just lookin' good. Listen.

You got in running!
- Yeah, get in.

Trevor?
- Yeah?

Maybe you wanna sit in the passenger's seat?
- I don't know. You got a comfy lap.

Move.

The motor sounds great!
- Yeah. You know where it'd sound even better?

In the shower.

On the road!
- Better.

But you can't tell Josh and my parents we took it out,
'cause they'll freak.

I won't say a word.
Now let's hit it.

Squirrel!

Tree!

Name please.
- I'm Drake Parker.

How did this happen, Drake?
- I was driving a dune buggy..

we hit a tree,
flipped over and I kinda fell out.

I see. Well, you didn't break anything,
but you've got a few bad sprains..

and some pretty serious bruises on
your hip and around your rib cage.

Try to stand up for me.

Man, that hurts.

You'll be okay kid.

Don't do that.

Now he tells me.

Doctor Calvatino, to the OR, please.
I repeat: Doctor Calvatino, to the OR, please.

So am I gonna be okay?
- You're gonna be very sore for a while..

but if you stay in bed and take it easy,
you should feel better in a couple of weeks.

I'm a little concerned about you, though.
You might wanna get a brain scan.

No thanks.
My folks make me get one every month!

Yes, I bet they do.

Okay, look: My parents and Josh
can not find out about this.

I'll try and figure out a way to hide the
dune buggy so they won't see it's wrecked.

Okay, but they're gonna figure it out.
I mean, you can barely stand up.

Yeah? Watch this.

You see? I look fine. Just put a little makeup
on the cuts and no one knows a thing.

You're good man.
Real good.

Ow. Ow. Owwww are you, Josh?
- Fine..

why'd you cover up the dune buggy?

we're not allowed to drive it.
We shouldn't let it get all dusty, right?

Yeah. But I thought it would be fun to sit in
there and pretend like we're driving it..

we could make the noises and everything!

That's a little dorky, don't you think?
- Yeah. I guess..

but I just thought we could hop in and..
- Why don't we just play a video game..

Great.

Hey, you want something to drink?
- Yes, sure.

Oh, uh oh. You got a little dirt on your shirt.

Honey, look. Megan fell asleep while we
were gardening. How cute is she?

What an angel.
- Hey, Drake..

do me a favor.
Carry Megan upstairs for me would you?

But she's heavy.

What? I've seen you carry her upstairs
a dozen times. Come on.

Okay.

Drake, are you crying?
- What's wrong?

She's just.. so cute.

Can't we just leave her here
so we can look at her?

Drake.

Hello, buggy.

Hello.
No, this is Drake's brother.

He left his wallet in the emergency room?

Wait. When was Drake in the..

After the dune buggy accident?

Oh yeah, I'll tell 'im.
Yeah.

Oh, yes.
He's still very sore.

Oh I'll make sure he gets lots of rest.

Bye.

Hey dad.
Drake.

'Sup?
- Hey Josh.

You know Dad, I was thinking about
trying out for the wrestling team at school.

Really?
- You think you could show me some moves?

Sure.
Yeah. Step over here.

But I won't be able to watch the
moves if you do 'em on me.

Oh yeah. Uh, Drake, come here.

I'd rather not.
- Come on, I'm not gonna hurt you.

Anything wrong?
- No.. I'm well.

Come on, let's see some moves!
- Okey dokey. Uh, alright..

this is the classic Full Nelson.

Cool. Show me more.
- Sure. the most important move is the take down.

May I see this take down?
- Alright. Here.

Drake you face me.

Alright. Josh, count me in.
- 1.. 2.. 3.. Attack Drake!

Boys. No wrestling in the house.

I love you mom.

Megan, dinner's almost already.

Josh.. May I please see you in our room?

Is there a proble..
- Room!

You, uh, wanted to chat?

Why did you make him attack me?

'Cause it's about time you stop
getting away with everything.

What is that supposed t..
- You threw the pillows..

you talked me into lying about the TV!
You got me grounded..

and you took our dune buggy out when
you weren't supposed to and you wrecked it!

What-what're what're you talking about?

I got a call from the emergency room.
You left your wallet there.

Yeah. And I saw the buggy!

Do mom and dad know?
- They're gonna.

Don't you do that to me.
- Fine! You tell 'em.

Are you crazy?
- No. I'm honest.

What?
- I'm grounded for two weeks.

Josh you know what..
- We spent like a hundred hours on that dune buggy..

trying to fix it up and you ruined it!

And you're hurt.

But all you can think about is
getting away with it.

"Ooh, I'm Drake! I'm so cool,
I get away with everything."

Fine. I'll just stay grounded and I'll
fix the dune buggy.. Again.

And you just keep worryin' about yourself.

It's what you're best at.

Oh, yeah? Well, you're not so..

Josh, hey what's going on with Drake?
- Yeah he's been acting pretty weird.

Is he okay?
- Um, yeah. He's fine. He's just a little..

- No..

he's not okay.

I'm kinda banged up.

You hurt him wrestling!
- I did?

It-it wasn't the wrestling.

It was a car accident.

Car accident?
- He's gonna get it now!

Actually, it was a-a dune buggy accident.
- What?

Are you okay?
- Well, the doctor sai..

Wait, wait, wait..
What doctor?

I kinda went to the OR and got X-rayed and stuff.
- Here it comes!

My poor baby.
- Huh?!

Just look at you.
You can barely stand.

Easy, easy, easy.
Everything hurts.

I'm really sorry I disobeyed you.
I shouldn't have.

Now he gets it.

Josh.. Did you know about this?

Well-well yeah I knew..
- You still made your father wrestle him?

When you knew Drake was hurt?
- Wait secon..

Guys, guys.. Go easy on him.
He's a good kid.

And about the TV getting broken,
that was really kinda my fault. And..

I talked Josh into lying about it.

We'll discuss this later.

What else did the doctor say?

That I should stay in bed and just
rest for a couple of weeks.

Well that's gonna be easy.
'Cause you're grounded.

Finally!

Oh yeah! You're grounded. You're grounded.
What are you doin' tomorrow? You're grounded.

Pizza's here.
- Thanks.

What are you smiling about?
- The great Drake..

Grounded for two weeks!
I love it.

Yep, me too.

Two weeks. Layin' in bed.
No school..

playin' a little guitar.
Watchin' a little TV..

you bringing' me pizzas. Yeah.
Being grounded is baaaad!

Uh, but I don't underst..
- Hold that thought..

hey dad could you bring me up a root beer,
a couple magazines, and..

in about twenty minutes,
maybe a little ice cream?

Sure. I'll get Josh right on it.

Josh!
- Aw, come on!

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