Dragon Ball (1995–2003): Season 1, Episode 2 - The Emperor's Quest - full transcript

[OWL] Hoo, hoo, hoo!

[engine revving]

[NARRATOR] On the last
episode of Dragon Ball,

Goku and Bulma decided
to team up and search for

the remaining four
Dragon Balls together.

The adventure continues

as they speed head-
long into the unknown.

[GOKU] Bulma, stop!

I just saw a snake.

That oughta tide us
over until dinner.

That is so
disgusting, Goku!

If you don't wanna gross
people out, you're gonna

have to stop eating frogs
and snakes and things.

[GOKU] Really?

[BULMA] Mm-hm.

How about lizards?

[BULMA] Nope, eating
lizards is nasty too, kid.

You're just going
to have to toughen up.

[GOKU] Yeah!

This looks like a
good place to camp!

[BULMA] There's no need to
live outside like savages.

I have my Dyno-caps, remember?

[GOKU] Huh?

Don't tell me you have a tent
in one of those things, Bulma?

Well, no, not exactly.

[GOKU] I don't like
those magic witch-bombs.

Grandpa said never to use magic
unless it's to help someone.

[BULMA] Oh, well I am
going to help someone, silly.

She's pretty and has blue hair.

[BULMA] What's the matter?

You're not afraid, are you?

[BULMA] Here it goes!

[GOKU] Huh?

[BULMA] There we go! Now
doesn't that look cozy?

Come on, Goku.
What are you waiting for?

[GOKU] Uhhh...

[GOKU] Get away
from its mouth, Bulma!

I'll protect you
from this monster!

[BULMA] Thanks, that's noble
of you, but it's just a house.

See?

[GOKU] Bulma!

You made it light, but it's
still dark outside!

[BULMA] Chill out.

It's a little something
we call "electricity".

Were you transported from
the stone age or what?

[GOKU] Huh?

Oh, wow!

This is amazing!

[guitar playing]

Goku...

Oh, no, that guy's
trapped and he's trying

to break the glass by
playing that horrible music!

[MAN] Lilah, I love you.

[LILAH] Kiss me, you fool.

[LILAH] Oh, Chad!

I've waited so long for this!

[CHAD] I'll love you
forever, my darling!

[GOKU] What's this thing?

[BULMA] One little
kiss... One kiss...

[BULMA] Yes! Almost there!

[monster screeching]

[BULMA screaming]

[GOKU laughing]

[BULMA] You shut up!

[GOKU] Hey, are you
getting hungry, Bulma?

[BULMA] Huh?

[GOKU] Well, you're drooling.

[BULMA] Now I'm embarrassed!

Hey, what's that
horrible smell?

Ugh, Goku, you need a bath!

[GOKU] Uhhh...

what's a bath?

[BULMA] Oh, kid!

I can't believe you're asking!

I guess I gotta show you...

[BULMA] We civilized
people call that a "towel"!

Now let's get this over with!

Hop in!

[GOKU] Hmm...

So this is a bath?

[BULMA] Look at you!

You're supposed to
cover up the front!

[GOKU] Hm?

Like this?

[GOKU] Why are you putting
this fluffy stuff in my hair?

[BULMA] It's called shampoo.

And I'm putting it in
your hair to clean it.

I don't do this
very often, you know.

You should consider
yourself lucky!

[BULMA] No wonder your
hair stands up,

it's never been washed.

There, that's better. Yeah!

What in the world?!

Whoa! How does
this thing stay on, kid?

I thought it was
attached to your pants!

What do you do,
super-glue it to your butt?

[GOKU] Ow!

What are you doing?! That hurts!

[BULMA] I'm trying
to take this thing off

so I can wash
your back properly.

[GOKU] Here, that's okay.

I can wash my own back.

Huh?

[GOKU] See? It's easy!

[whimpering]

[BULMA screaming]

No way!

It moves!

[BULMA] That means
it's... it's real!

Goku, uh, why do you
have a tail growing?

Well, I don't
really know why.

I just know that
all boys have 'em.

It's no big deal, it's
just the way we are.

Huh?

[BULMA] Maybe he's right.

I've never actually
seen a boy take a bath

before so I guess
I can't be sure.

Maybe they just keep them tucked
in their pants or something.

How bizarre!

I can't believe
I'm a teenager

and I'm just now finding out.

Well, I guess I
shoudn't say all boys,

because my Grandpa
didn't have a tail.

See? See?

Normal men don't have tails or
your grandpa would've had one!

But my Grandpa was a
very odd fellow, you know!

You're the
real odd ball!

So that was
a bath, huh?

A bath sounds
so wonderful.

[BULMA] Aah, there's nothing
like a long hot bath

to melt a woman's cares
away, that's for sure!

[BULMA] Mmm!

Hm?

[screaming]

What are you doing?!

Can't you see that
I'm taking a bath, kid?!

Yeah. I was going to
help you scrub your back.

You know, since you
don't have a tail.

No way, I can
scrub my own back!

Now beat it! Shoo, shoo!

Gosh, I don't
get it, Bulma.

You were going to
help me scrub my back.

[BULMA] Goku,
you're a little kid

and I'm practically
a full-grown woman!

There's a big difference!

There is?

[BULMA] Yes, there certainly is!

But we're not going to
get into that right now...

Hey, you don't have
to be ashamed, no way.

What in the world
are you talking about?

I happen to be one of the most

beautiful girls
that you'll ever see!

So what do I have to
be ashamed of, buster?

[GOKU] Not having a tail?

That's it, get
out of my face.

But I want to help.

Beat it!

Oh, come on.

[BULMA] I can't take it anymore!

Get out of my
bathroom and stay out!

And for the last time,
I don't want a stupid tail!

Uhhh!

It's about time I got
a little bit of privacy.

[GOKU] Bulma.

I'm hungry.

[BULMA] Goku!

[PILAF] Well, did you bring
me a Dragon Ball, Shu?

[SHU] No, sire.

I-I got real hungry
so I came back.

[PILAF] Imbecile! You won't
get so much as a bone

until you bring
me another Dragon Ball!

[SHU] But, sire!

I'm so hungry that
I can't even think!

[PILAF] That's a
good thing, Shu.

You'll have to trust me on that.

[burps]

[PILAF] Ahh, look how it
sparkles so brilliantly!

And yet it's only
one piece to the puzzle!

I have to have those
other six Dragon Balls!

[SHU] But why, sire?

Isn't one enough?

Of course one
isn't enough!

If I pulled out all of
your teeth except one,

would that one be
enough to chew with?! No!

[PILAF] If I cut off all
of your paws except one,

would that one be
enough to run with?! No!

Do you see my
point now, Shu?

I can't rule the
world with one ball!

Can you understand that?!

Yes, I think so!

But isn't the world
an awfully big place?

How can one person
rule the whole thing?

Well, you have to be
able to delegate, Shu,

and I've always been good at
telling other people what to do.

Bossing people around is
one of my strong points.

Right! That's true, sire!

[PILAF] There are
other requirements, Shu!

You have to be able to
think big! Not small, big!

And though small in
stature, I think very big!

I have all the qualities
needed to rule the world!

What I don't have are
those other six Dragon Balls!

You dolt!

[PILAF wailing]

[PILAF farts]

[SHU] Uh, oh!

[chuckles]

Heh, heh!

Did you hear that?

Huh?!

I think you did...

No, Sire! It wasn't me!

I swear!

[PILAF] We'll see about that!

[SHU] Huh?

[PILAF] Ha-Ha! Ha ha ha!

Note to me:
I must remember

to move that button
to a closer spot!

Please let me go, sire!

I didn't do anything!

Are you saying
that I would be capable

of such a gross emission?

[SHU] Oh, no! Please, sire!

I'll not tolerate
this kind of outburst

from one of my agents!

I'm afraid the time has
come to trim the staff a bit!

Don't chop me up!

I admit it, sire! I did it! I
tooted, I farted, I passed gas!

Guilty as charged,
woo-hoo! Let out a stinker!

That's better.

I'll let this one go
because you were honest.

Just make sure it
doesn't happen again!

Is that clear, Shu?!

[SHU] Yes, sire!
I'll try to contain myself!

[WOMAN] Emperor Pilaf!

That sounded like Agent Mai.

Sire, Agent Mai
reporting as ordered.

[PILAF] Hmm, well,
what's the news?

Did you bring me back
another Dragon Ball?

[MAI] No, Sire,

But I do have some
valuable information.

Is it about the
Dragon Balls? Well?!

Yes.

[MAI] A deep-cover
agent of ours landed

in a place known
as Skull Valley.

Just before he
left his spy-plane,

he reported seeing a mysterious
light with a bright glow.

[PILAF] Was the
light a Dragon Ball?

[MAI] We don't know, sire.

He disappeared!

We never heard from him again!

Hmm, take Shu with you

and see if there's a
Dragon Ball over there.

Sire! I have
obedience school today!

Nevermind that!

We need a disposable agent
like you on this mission, Shu!

Now go get me a Dragon Ball!

--Yes, sir!
--Yes, sire...

So this is it, huh?

Eww, yuck!

This bread stuff
doesn't have any flavor!

And my soup's bitter too!

[BULMA] That's not
soup, it's coffee!

And how do you expect
to grow big and strong

if you don't eat right!

You know you're right!

Thanks for the advice, Bulma!

Huh?!

Where do you think you're going?

[GOKU] I'm going
to go get some food

that will make
me big and strong!

I'll bring some back!

[BULMA] You might wind
up being food yourself

if you're not careful out there!

I wouldn't do it!

[wolf howling]

Wow.

Slim pickings so far.

Bulma can probably eat this
whole centipede by herself!

I'm going to have
to do better than that.

[GOKU] Hm?

A bird!

Wow!

[MAI] There's Skull Valley.

It's right below us.

Can we go back now and
just say that we went?

[MAI] Nah, we better
check it out.

[SHU] Geronimo!

[MAI] Shu! Be quiet.

[SHU] Sorry.

[MAI] Come on.

[MAI squealing]

[SHU] I want to chew on one of
these bones, but I'm too scared!

[MAI] Let's just make sure
we leave with our own bones.

[SHU] Yeah.

[MAI and SHU] Huh?!

What is that?!

I don't know. It
could be a Dragon Ball.

Let's check it out.

[SHU whimpering]

[MAI and SHU] Huh?

The kid likes to jump!

He's a hopper alright!

Beat it, kid,
before you get hurt!

You beat it!

Look, I'm not going anywhere!

That's my big birdy!

I saw it first, so
you two just stay away!

What in the world
is he talking about?

Beats me.

Kid, I think I hear
your mommy calling.

[MAI and SHU] Huh?!

[SHU] Those lights
weren't Dragon Balls!

[MAI] No kidding!

[GOKU] This is great! Now
there's enough for all of us!

Ahh! Alright! Yum!

[wolves snarling]

[screaming]

[blows landing]

[GOKU laughing]

[blows landing]

[screaming]

[SHU] This is it, Mai!

[blows landing]

That was close!

[GOKU] Hm?!

Hey, my bird! It's getting away!

Power Pole, extend!

Dog-gone it. This
bird's rock hard.

[whimpering]

[GOKU] Bulma, I'm back!

[BULMA] Huh, he's alive after
all. Well, I'll be darned.

Hm?

If you think this
appetizer looks good,

take a look at the main course!

[whimpering]

[screaming]

[GOKU] Huh? Bulma?

Bulma, are you
serious about not eating?

This is looking pretty good!

[BULMA] You're
grossing me out, Goku!

I can't believe
you're gonna eat that!

[chomping]

[GOKU burping]

[BULMA] Oh, my gosh!
That is so disgusting!

You need to brush
your teeth, kid!

[GOKU] Huh?

[BULMA] I don't want to smell
your nasty ol' wolf-breath!

Wow! What a soft bed!

I could bounce
like this all night!

Come on, Bulma,
there's room for both of us!

Room? What are you
talking about, kid?

We're not sleeping together.
You're sleeping on the floor.

Are you serious?

[BULMA] Yes!

You're used to
roughing it, aren't you?

A guy who eats
centipedes shouldn't mind

sleeping on the floor.

I don't mind, but I
hope it's not because

you're still mad
about not having a tail.

Get it through
your thick head:

I don't want a tail!

[BULMA] There we go.

[BULMA] Hey...Goku...

why did you live with
your grandpa anyway?

I mean, what
happened to your parents?

I'm not sure
what happened.

My Grandpa found me
on a mountainside on a

little bed of moss
when I was just a baby

so he picked me
up and took me home.

[BULMA] Did you know that
you don't have to keep a tail

just because
you're born with one?

Some dogs actually
get their tails cut off

while they're still small.

You shouldn't have let
them do that to you, Bulma.

You're no dog.

I'm not talking
about me, lame-brain!

I never had a tail! Hm?!

[GOKU snoring]

I don't know what
planet this kid's from,

but it's not Earth!

[wolves howling]

[birds chirping]

I'm up...

[yawning]

[GOKU] I guess it's not
time to get up yet...

Ha! See! I told her there
was enough room for both of us!

[smacking]

[GOKU] Hm? Strange...It feels
like there's nothing ther--

[GOKU screaming]

Huh?! Wha--Wha--?!

I-It's your balls,
Bulma! They're gone!

What?! You're
kidding me?! How?!

--[GOKU] U-uh, I don't know!
--[BULMA] Please, no!

Thank goodness!
They're all here, Goku.

You must have been dreaming.
Man, you really had me scared.

[moaning]

My gosh, Bulma. Wow, how
long is this going to take?

Look, nobody asked
for your commentary!

Besides, you didn't have to
wake us up at this insane hour!

Early birds! You can
have your nasty, old worm.

[GOKU] Well, you're moving
so slow I wouldn't be surprised

if you turned into a turtle.

[BULMA] Goku, you
can go out in public

with your hair sticking out in
every direction if you want to,

but not me.

Would you like to
have coffee with me?

Nah, it doesn't taste good
and it makes me feel funny!

[GOKU] I'm gonna go exercise!

[GOKU] Mm!

[growling]

[grunting]

[crashing]

[GOKU] Hmm!

[growling]

[grunting]

Whoa!

[GOKU] What in the world?!

Ow, that's a new pain...

Bulma, wow! You really
did turn into a turtle!

Boy, I guess this kinda
changes our plans a bit, huh?

[TORTOISE] Hmm?

[BULMA] Goku? Who were you
talking to out there, kiddo?

What?!

[BULMA] Hm? Who are you?

[GOKU] I thought he was you!

[BULMA] Wha-?

Strange... A tortoise
shouldn't be living around here!

Aren't you supposed to
be living by the sea?

Yeah.

And I'm very concerned
about being so far from home.

By the way, do you
have any salt water?

Sure, we'll
fix you right up.

[slurping]

[burps]

Good seawater.
Aromatic, yet full bodied.

[BULMA] Yeah, I think
it's an eighty-seven.

Nope, eighty-six!

[BULMA] Really? Are
you sure about that?

Mm-hm. I
know my water.

So, what are
you doing here?

Well to make a long
story incredibly short:

I'm lost! It's that simple. I'm
lost! I've been trying to find

my way back to the
sea for over a year now.

That's so sad!

And you're still not
anywhere near the sea.

Hold on, let me go check
my map. Wait here a second.

Bad news: you're
still a hundred miles away!

Great, that'll
take me twenty years!

Gosh! That sounds
like a long time.

Hmm, I wish there was a
way that we could help you.

Yeah. Hey, I know!

Would you like me to carry
you to the sea, Mister Turtle?

[TORTOISE] Why, yes! Thank you!

Are you nuts?!

But you just said that
you wished we could help!

So why don't we just
take him to the sea?

I didn't mean
that for real, Goku.

We're on an adventure.

We don't have time to transport
a beached turtle, okay?

You're impossible!

[BULMA] I'm impossible?!
What do you mean by that?!

[GOKU] Well, if we're so pressed
for time, why did you just spend

the whole morning in
front of the mirror

worrying about your hair?!

Fine, help the stupid
turtle if you want!

I can find the Dragon
Balls by myself! Hmph!

Gosh, are women like
this where you come from?

No, most have tails.

[BULMA] Sure, be that way!

I hope you get a backache,
you little twerp! Hmph!

Man! What a geek!

I don't need his
stupid help, anyway!

I can handle whatever
comes my way on my own!

[roaring]

Hm?!

[BULMA] Stop! Stop,
or I'll run you down!

I mean it, Goku!

[TORTOISE] Oh, we better
stop. That girl scares me.

Careful!

You could mess up your
hair riding on that thing!

[BULMA] Knock it off.
I decided to forgive you.

[GOKU] Huh? What's
the matter? Scared?

[BULMA] Me?
Scared? Give me a break!

Let's just go find
those Dragon Balls.

[NARRATOR] Join us
again next time for

another exciting
episode of Dragon Ball!