Doogie Howser, M.D. (1989–1993): Season 2, Episode 4 - C'est la Vinnie - full transcript

(people talking)

VIN, YOU BETTER HURRY
UP, MADAME'S ON HER WAY IN.

PIECE OF CAKE. EXCUSE
MOI, A PIECE OF CROISSANT.

YOU SPELLED "HOTEL" WRONG.

HOTEL? IT'S THE SAME.

THERE'S A HAT ON THE O.

- ( bell ringing)
- THAT'S SICK.

WORDS SHOULD NOT
WEAR ACCESSORIES.

FRENCH IS A BEAUTIFUL
LANGUAGE, VINNIE.

THE LANGUAGE OF LOVE.

ITALIAN IS THE LANGUAGE OF LOVE.



ITALIAN IS THE
LANGUAGE OF LINGUINI.

(speaks French)

All: BONJOUR, MADAME FELDBLUM.

OR SHOULD WE SAY, MADAME BULGE?

(speaking French)

I THINK WE ALL HAVE
OUR LETTERS READY.

- (students murmur)
- YOU'RE IN PARIS, YOU'RE
WRITING HOME

TO DESCRIBE YOUR WONDERFUL
TRIP. OR IT COULD BE A TERRIBLE TRIP.

- ( students giggle)
- IT DOESN'T MATTER,

AS LONG AS YOU'RE
WRITING IN FRENCH.

SO...

WHO WOULD LIKE TO START?

DON'T ALL VOLUNTEER AT ONCE.

(students whisper)



YES, GUILLAUME.

I TOOK THE LIBERTY OF
INCORPORATING A TRIP TO VERSAILLES.

I HOPE THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

HOW DO YOU SAY
"WIENIE" IN FRENCH?

DID YOU WISH TO CONTRIBUTE
SOMETHING, VINCENT?

NON, MERCI.

(students laugh)

(speaking French)

(speaking French)

VERY NICE, JANINE,

THOUGH I THINK YOU MIGHT HAVE
VENTURED OFF THE CHAMPS ELYSEE.

(students laugh)

I THINK WE HAVE TIME
FOR JUST ONE MORE.

- (gasps)
- MONSIEUR DELPINO.

(students murmur)

MON PETITE "CHOU A LA CREME..."

CHOU A LA CREME?

YEAH, IT WAS A...

IT WAS A DELICIOUS DESSERT.

(speaking French poorly)

(students laughing)

HUH, IT WAS A FUNNY TRIP.

JE T'AIME DOOGIE HOWSER.

(students laughing)

(theme music playing)

I DREAM OF YOUR
STRONG MASCULINE ARMS.

I LOVE YOU, DOOGIE HOWSER.

( paper rustling)

EXPLANATION, MR. DELPINO?

DR. HOWSER IS A VERY
CHARISMATIC YOUNG MAN.

YOU STOLE THIS
LETTER FROM WANDA.

NO, NO, I WAS DOING HER A FAVOR.

YOU SEE, SHE WAS TOO
EMBARRASSED TO READ IT HERSELF,

AND I THOUGHT IT
WAS SUCH A MOVING...

LOOK, I AM GOING TO ASK YOU
A STRAIGHT QUESTION, VINCENT,

AND I WANT AN HONEST ANSWER.

WHY DID YOU TAKE THIS CLASS?

BECAUSE MY GIRLFRIEND
WAS TAKING IT,

IT'S CLOSE TO MY LOCKER,

AND IT'S A BEELINE
TO THE CAFETERIA.

YOU CHOSE THIS CLASS
BECAUSE OF ITS LOCATION.

I HAVE TO SAY, IT WAS A FACTOR.

YOU KNOW, I DON'T KNOW

WHAT I FIND MORE
ANNOYING: YOUR LAZINESS

OR YOUR COMPLETE LACK
OF RESPECT FOR MY SUBJECT.

YOUR GRADE FOR THIS
SEMESTER WILL BE AN "F."

UMM...

CAN I CHANGE MY ANSWER?

HOW'S IT GOING, DOOG?

I WANT YOU TO
LISTEN TO SOMETHING.

IF IT'S THE RAP ALBUM WITH "THE
NAKED BUTTS," I'VE ALREADY HEARD IT.

GREAT COVER,
QUESTIONABLE LYRICS.

- (machine clicking)
- Boy: Bon jour, this is Wanda.

( giggling) I'm dreaming of
your strong masculine arms,

you little honey bunch, you.

- ( boys, girls giggle)
- ( kissing noises)

- ( answering machine beeps)
- KIDS ARE CRUEL.

VINNIE, DO YOU REALIZE

YOU'VE COMPLETELY
HUMILIATED BOTH ME AND WANDA?

I DISAGREE.

I THINK THIS PAINTS YOU IN A
VERY FLATTERING ROMANTIC LIGHT.

I MEAN, WHO'S GONNA SAY YOUR A
STUFFY WORKAHOLIC OVERACHIEVER NOW?

IN FACT, I THINK YOU
SHOULD THANK ME.

I'VE BEEN GETTING
CALLS LIKE THAT ALL DAY.

AND WANDA WON'T
COME OUT OF HER ROOM

ALL BECAUSE YOU WERE TOO LAZY
TO DO YOUR FRENCH HOMEWORK.

OH... WHO CARES ABOUT FRENCH?

WHY SHOULD I WASTE MY
TIME WITH SOME LANGUAGE

THAT SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE CHOKING
TO DEATH WHEN YOU SPEAK IT?

YOU WANT TO MAKE
MOVIES, DON'T YOU?

YEAH, BUT NOT IN FRENCH.

UNLESS I DECIDE TO
CAST ISABELLE ADJANI,

IN WHICH CASE A FEW
PHRASES MIGHT COME IN HANDY,

LIKE, "LET ME BRUSH THAT
SAND OFF YOUR BATHING SUIT."

VINNIE, DON'T BE AN
IDIOT. YOU NEED A MINIMUM

OF ONE LANGUAGE
TO GET INTO COLLEGE.

I GOT ITALIAN.

YOU ONLY KNOW
SWEAR WORDS IN ITALIAN.

WHAT ELSE DO YOU NEED?

WELL, FINE. PUT
THAT IN YOUR RESUME,

"FLUENT IN LATINIC OBSCENITIES."

WAIT A MINUTE. YOU SERIOUS?

I GOTTA HAVE A FOREIGN
LINGO TO GET INTO FILM SCHOOL?

DOOG...

MY TEACHER JUST DOOMED ME
TO AN "F," WHAT AM I GONNA DO?

- YOU COULD DO SOME WORK.
- OH, YEAH.

THAT'S GREAT,
COMING FROM THE MAN

WHO CRAWLED OUT OF THE
WOMB RECITING ALGORITHMS.

WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

YOU NEVER SEEM TO REALIZE

HOW HARD IT IS FOR SOMEONE
WITH REGULAR BRAIN CELLS.

YOU'RE ALWAYS THE ONE
THAT GETS THE APPLAUSE.

GIVES ME A COMPLEX.

I CAN'T EVEN OPEN A BOOK WITHOUT
YOUR GENIUS SHADOW LOOMING OVER ME.

SO NOW IT'S ME?

YOU'RE INCREDIBLE.

IN ANY SITUATION YOU
CAN ALWAYS FIND A REASON

FOR WHY IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT.

- IT'S NOT.
- VINNIE, YOU'RE NOT
A SERIOUS PERSON,

YOU'RE NOT RESPONSIBLE.

SOMETIMES I HAVE A REAL HARD TIME
UNDERSTANDING WHY WE'RE FRIENDS.

YOU'RE BREAKING UP WITH ME,
IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE SAYING?

I'M SAYING, I DON'T FIND
YOU FUNNY ANY MORE.

I'M GONNA GO SEE WANDA.

FINE, GO. YOU THINK YOU'RE
THE ONLY GENIUS IN THE WORLD

WITH LAKERS SEASON TICKETS?

STOP RIGHT WHERE
YOU ARE, MADAME.

I'M HERE TO MAKE
YOU A PRESENTATION.

MY EXTRA CREDIT PROJECT,

"LES FROMAGES DE
LA BELLA FRANCE."

I WENT TO THREE DIFFERENT
SUPERMARKETS TO ASSEMBLE THIS.

WE GOT...

CAMEMBERT,

BRIE,

ROQUEFORT...

DUTCH EDAM.

UH... IT WAS ON SPECIAL.

EXCUSE ME, I HAVE TO GO.

COME ON, MADAME FELDBLUM,
I PUT A LOT OF WORK INTO THIS.

DOES THE PHRASE "TOO LITTLE,
TOO LATE" MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU?

I'M TRYING TO MAKE AN EFFORT.

STICKING BITS OF CHEESE
ON A PIECE OF CARDBOARD

IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT.

YOU HAVE TO WANT TO
LEARN THE LANGUAGE, VINCENT.

WELL, I'LL TAKE EXTRA CLASSES.
I'M FREE TUESDAYS AND THURSDAYS.

I OFFERED YOU EXTRA
HELP TWO WEEKS AGO.

YOU TOLD ME YOUR GRANDFATHER
WAS ON A LIFE SUPPORT MACHINE.

WELL, AS LUCK WOULD HAVE
IT, IT WAS JUST INDIGESTION.

LOOK, MADAME,

I DON'T THINK YOU APPRECIATE

HOW MUCH TROUBLE
I HAVE WITH FRENCH.

I GOT A BLOCK WITH LANGUAGES.

I ONLY GOTTA TRY SAYING,
"JE M'APPELE VINCENT"

AND MY HANDS START TO SWEAT.

I'M CHOKING FOR BREATH,
MY EYEBALLS ARE POPPING.

I'M LIKE ARNOLD
SCHWARZENEGGER ON MARS.

VINCENT, EVERYONE FEELS
THAT WAY WHEN THEY TRY

TO SPEAK A FOREIGN
LANGUAGE. LOOK AT...

(clanking noise,
engine powers down)

THIS ELEVATOR...

LOOK AT JANINE. SHE DOESN'T HAVE

A FLAIR FOR LANGUAGES,
BUT AT LEAST SHE TRIES.

- I'M NOT JANINE.
- EXACTLY.

IF ANYTHING, YOU
HAVE MORE TALENT,

MORE FLAIR, MORE CURIOSITY.

YOU HAVE NO IDEA, VINCENT,
HOW FRUSTRATING IT IS

TO SEE A GIFTED STUDENT
RESOLUTELY SQUANDERING HIS...

(gasps)

- HICCUPS?
- UH...

A CONTRACTION?

WHEN ARE YOU... UH, YOU KNOW...

UH... TWO WEEKS.

OH, BAGS OF TIME.

WHY DON'T YOU FINISH WHAT YOU
WERE SAYING ABOUT ME BEING...

TALENTED AND ALL THAT?

I FELT WE WERE MAKING PROGRESS.

(groaning, gasping)

HEY, DON'T DO THAT, MADAME,
THIS ISN'T THE TIME OR PLACE.

I THINK... YOU'D
BETTER CALL SECURITY.

I'M ON IT.

OKAY, IT'S RINGING, DON'T PANIC.

IT'S PROBABLY JUST A FALSE
ALARM. BUT EVEN IF YOU'RE IN LABOR,

YOU COULD BE HOURS OR EVEN
DAYS AWAY FROM DELIVERING.

SINCE WHEN DID YOU BECOME
SUCH AN EXPERT ON LABOR?

DOOGIE HOWSER.

YOU TWO OFTEN SIT AROUND
DISCUSSING CHILDBIRTH?

NO, WE SIT AROUND
DISCUSSING SEX.

CHILDBIRTH ALWAYS
SEEMS TO FOLLOW.

HELLO. YEAH, WE'RE STUCK.

YES, IT'S DELPINO AND
NO, I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING.

IT JUST STOPPED
LIKE IT ALWAYS DOES.

- (loud groaning)
- HURRY UP, WILL YA?

AND WHILE YOU'RE AT IT, I NEED YOU
TO PUT ME THROUGH TO THIS NUMBER:

555-9980.

- (groaning)
- OH, COME ON, EVEN IN JAIL
THEY GIVE YOU ONE CALL.

THEN HE HAS THE
NERVE TO BLAME ME.

SAYS I GIVE HIM A COMPLEX.

WELL, I SEE HIS POINT.

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?

ACT AS STUPID AS HE
DOES SO HE'LL FEEL BETTER?

WELL, I'M JUST SAYING

THAT YOU SHOULD MAKE ALLOWANCES.

- ( telephone ringing)
- YOU'RE A TOUGH ACT
TO FOLLOW, SON.

- HELLO?
- Vinnie: Hi. Mrs. Howser?

- It's Vinnie.
- OH, HELLO, VINNIE.

Vinnie: Is Doogie there?

UH... NO, HE IS NOT IN.

I MEAN, HE'S IN,

BUT HE'S BUSY.

I know you're there, Arthur.

Get on the phone!
This is an emergency!

I THINK YOU BETTER TAKE IT.

HE SOUNDS DESPERATE.

HE ALWAYS SOUNDS DESPERATE.

- WHAT?
- Vinnie: Okay, no time
for chit-chat.

I'M STUCK IN AN ELEVATOR WITH A
PREGNANT WOMAN WHO'S GOING INTO LABOR.

I know we're not friends anymore,
but you gotta tell me what to do.

OKAY, SLOW DOWN, VINNIE. HOW
FAR APART ARE THE CONTRACTIONS?

THEY'RE NOT FAR
ENOUGH APART FOR ME.

ALL RIGHT, LISTEN, DON'T
WORRY ABOUT THE CONTRACTIONS.

JUST STAY CALM, YOU'VE GOT PLENTY
OF TIME UNTIL HER WATER BREAKS.

(groaning)

I... I'M SOAKED.

Doogie: What is it?

EITHER SHE JUST HAD A SIX-PACK
FOR LUNCH OR HER WATER JUST BROKE.

- Doogie: What's happening now?
- WELL, WELL, UH...

- THERE'S SOME GROANING...
- (groaning)

SOME SWEATING, AND THERE'S
SOME WEAKNESS IN THE KNEES.

OTHERWISE I'M DOING OKAY.

ACTUALLY, DOOG, I'M
REALLY ARED-SCAY.

- Huh?
- ARED-SCAY.

OOG-AY, I'M EAK-FRAYING OUT.

Slowly, Vinnie, my
pig latin's a little rusty.

SHE'S HAVING A ABY-BAY.

Just calm down, I'll send an
ambulance. I'm on my way.

TALK TO HIM.

SO, VINNIE...

HOW'S SCHOOL?

I GOTTA GET BACK TO
YOU ON THAT ONE, MRS. H.

ABSOLUTELY NOTHING
TO WORRY ABOUT.

I FEEL VERY CONFIDENT.

HELP IS ON ITS WAY.

WANT SOME CHEESE WHILE WE WAIT?

- NO.
- OKAY.

I THOUGHT YOU HAD A PROBLEM

WITH FOREIGN LANGUAGES.

HUH?

I EAK-SPAY IG-PAY ATIN-LAY.

OH...

DO I GET AN EXTRA CREDIT?

A JOKE, SORRY.

I MAKE JOKES WHEN I GET NERVOUS.

YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN
ME AT MY CONFIRMATION.

I HAD THE PRIEST IN HYSTERICS.

- (grunts)
- VINCENT, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

WELL...

I WAS READING IN THE "ENQUIRER"

HOW IN CERTAIN MOMENTS OF CRISES

- SOME PEOPLE DEVELOP...
- ( groaning)

- SUPERHUMAN POWER...
- ( groaning)

- (Vinnie grunts)
- (teacher groaning)

DOOGIE, THANK
GOODNESS YOU'RE HERE.

SOME GUY'S TRAPPED IN THE
ELEVATOR WITH THE FRENCH TEACHER.

I THINK SHE'S GOING INTO LABOR.

IT'S VINNIE.

- WHAT'S VINNIE?
- THE GUY IN THE ELEVATOR.

NO! OH MY GOD, HE CAN'T EVEN
WATCH WHEN BAMBI'S BEING BORN.

- I'M IN THE HALLWAY
ON THE SECOND FLOOR.
- LADIES.

TELL MADAME WE'VE GOT
A CALL INTO HER HUSBAND,

THE PARAMEDICS ARE ON
THEIR WAY, JANINE'S HERE,

WANDA'S HERE, THE FIREMEN AND
THE MECHANICS ARE ON THE ROOF.

THAT'S VERY COMFORTING.
NOW THAT WE'VE ESTABLISHED

WHERE EVERYONE IS, HOW
ABOUT GETTING US OUTTA HERE?

WE'RE WORKING ON IT. HAVE YOU
BEEN TIMING THE CONTRACTIONS?

WELL, UM, SHE'S BEEN SCREAMING
ABOUT EVERY HALF MINUTE.

FEEL FOR WHAT?!

WHO'S HEAD?

DOOG, I CAN'T DO THAT,
SHE'S MY FRENCH TEACHER.

HE WANTS YOU TO
FEEL FOR IT'S HEAD.

NOTHING.

DOWN HERE.

GET A I.V. READY. WE'LL ALSO NEED
OXYGEN, BLANKETS AND THE ISOLATE.

- RIGHT.
- OKAY, JUST STAY CALM, VINNIE.

WE'RE GONNA HAVE THIS
ELEVATOR WORKING ANY MINUTE.

YOU'RE NOT GOING TO
HAVE TO DELIVER THIS BABY.

ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS SIT TIGHT
AND KEEP HER COMFORTABLE.

DOESN'T LOOK GOOD, THE
MOTOR'S SHORTED OUT.

WE'RE GONNA HAVE
TO TAKE IT APART.

HOW LONG?

COULD BE HALF HOUR,
COULD BE TOMORROW.

(clears throat)

VINNIE, JUST TO BE
ON THE SAFE SIDE,

I'M GONNA RUN YOU THROUGH SOME
ELEMENTARY CHILDBIRTH PROCEDURES.

- I AIN'T LISTENING.
- ( groaning)

- YOU SAID I WASN'T
GONNA HAVE TO DO THIS.
- Now I'm saying that you might.

(groaning)

- ( screaming)
- OH, MAN!

(loud screaming)

I AM NEVER HAVING KIDS.

ALL RIGHT, NOW, VINNIE, LISTEN.

FIRST I WANT YOU TO WRAP
SOMETHING CLEAN AROUND YOUR HANDS,

THE BABY'S GONNA BE VERY WET AND
SLIPPERY AND I DON'T WANT YOU DROPPING IT.

- ( moaning, gasping)
- DOOG, I CAN'T DO THIS.

- YES, YOU CAN.
- You said it yourself,

I'm not a serious person.

AND THIS IS A SERIOUS SITUATION,

SO YOU BETTER GET
ME OUT OF IT, FAST.

YOU REMEMBER WHEN I
WAS SICK IN THE HOSPITAL?

YOU WERE THE ONLY ONE OF MY FRIENDS
BRAVE ENOUGH TO COME AND VISIT ME.

You weren't scared of the
medicine or the doctors...

- (groaning)
- I WAS EIGHT YEARS OLD!

I DIDN'T KNOW A HOSPITAL
FROM DISNEYLAND.

Vin, we've been through
a lot of stuff together.

WE'RE GONNA GET THROUGH
THIS TOO. I HAVE FAITH IN YOU.

(groaning)

UM, LOOK, UH...

MADAME FELDBLUM,

THERE'S A VERY OUTSIDE CHANCE

I'M GONNA HAVE TO
DELIVER YOUR BABY.

OH!

WHAT? YOU THINK I'VE
NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE?

WELL, I WAS JUST THINKING

ABOUT HOW IT WAS
SUPPOSED TO BE...

THE DOCTOR MEETING
ME AT THE HOSPITAL,

MY HUSBAND HOLDING MY HAND...

OH... WELL, I'M SORRY.

THIS AIN'T EXACTLY BEEN A
GREAT WEEK FOR ME EITHER.

TWO MONTHS OF LAMAZE CLASSES,

AND I'M HAVING MY
BABY IN AN ELEVATOR...

WITH MY WORST FRENCH STUDENT.

I MEAN, I THOUGHT I WAS
GONNA GO TO FILM SCHOOL.

I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA
MAKE SOMETHING OF MY LIFE.

(gasping, screaming)

- WHAT IS IT?
- (gasping) I feel something.

(screaming)

DOOG, WE GOT A HEAD!

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, VINNIE,
NOW THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT.

THE NEXT TIME SHE BREATHES, TELL HER
TO SUSTAIN IT FOR AS LONG AS SHE CAN,

PUSH, AND PUSH HARD.

AFTER THAT RELAX FOR ABOUT
10 SECONDS AND DO IT AGAIN.

- (groaning)
- PUSH, MADAME!

- PUSH LIKE CRAZY.
- I CAN'T!

COME ON, COME ON, YOU'RE A
TOUGH LADY. I'VE SEEN YOU IN ACTION.

I'M NOT READY, I
WANT MY HUSBAND.

LOOK, I'LL MAKE A DEAL WITH YOU. I'LL
MAKE A COMMITMENT TO LEARN FRENCH,

IF YOU MAKE A COMMITMENT
TO HAVE THIS BABY.

NOW, NOW PLEASE PUSH. JUST ONCE.

- FOR ME.
- (grunting)

IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, I WON'T
ASK YOU TO DO IT AGAIN.

- NO-OO!
- THAT'S IT!

YOU'RE DOING FINE.

- (screaming)
- HIS HEAD'S ALL THE WAY OUT.

Doogie: Remind her
to breathe, Vinnie.

SHE'S BREATHING A LOT.

OKAY, TELL HER TO EXHALE,
TAKE SHORT BREATHS,

UH... LIKE... LIKE
"DEBBIE DOES DALLAS."

ALL RIGHT, RIGHT...
BREATH, MADAME, LIKE THIS.

- (panting)
- (panting)

YEAH, YEAH...

HERE COMES THE REST.

- (groaning)
- ( baby crying)

IT'S GOT ARMS AND EVERYTHING.

- ( baby screaming)
- MADAME.

- ( groaning)
- MADAME...

IT'S A BABY.

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, NOW...
NOW GENTLY STICK YOUR FINGER

IN HIS MOUTH AND
CLEAR AWAY THE MUCUS.

- ( groaning)
- ( baby bawling)

DOOG!

HE AIN'T GOT NO GENITALS.

IT'S A GIRL, VIN.

MADAME, IT'S A GIRL.
CONGRATULATIONS!

(baby screaming)

(people talking)

ALL RIGHT, START AN I.V.

- THERE WE GO.
- LET'S PUT HER UP
ON THE GURNEY.

- MA'AM?
- Man: SETTLE BACK.

- Feldblum: THANK YOU.
- THAT'S IT, JUST RELAX.

- GOT IT?
- YEAH.

Girl: OH, LOOK AT
THE BABY! HOW CUTE!

HOLD ME.

THIS YOUR FIRST?

- YEAH.
- ME TOO.

YOUR WIFE?

ACTUALLY, MY FRENCH TEACHER.

OKAY, VIN, MADAME FELDBLUM
IS READY FOR YOU NOW.

GREAT.

(French accent) ♪ THANK HEAVEN ♪

♪ FOR LITTLE GIRLS... ♪

EIGHT POUNDS, FOUR OUNCES.

SHE'S PERFECT... NOT
BAD FOR YOUR FIRST CHILD.

YOU COULD HAVE A JOB
IN OBSTETRICS, VINNIE.

OH, MAN, NEXT TIME I
USE THE WORD LABOR,

I WANNA BE TALKING
ABOUT TEAMSTERS.

AM I FUNNY AGAIN?

YEAH, YOU'RE FUNNY AGAIN.

DOOG, I OWE YOU AND
WANDA AN APOLOGY.

I REALLY WAS A JERK.

AND... THANKS FOR
GETTING ME THROUGH IT.

THANKS FOR BELIEVING IN ME.

(bawls) DOOG, LET'S
NEVER BREAK UP AGAIN.

GET IN THERE.

- IS THAT THE KID?
- SHH.

OH, SHE CLEANS UP
GOOD. WHAT'S HER NAME?

DANIELLE.

YEAH, I GUESS VINCENT
WAS TOO MUCH TO HOPE FOR.

- (baby mutters)
- WELL, I KEPT MY PART
OF THE BARGAIN.

ARE YOU GOING TO KEEP YOURS?

OH, YEAH, YEAH, ABSOLUTMENT.

WHAT DID I PROMISE? I WAS
A LITTLE PANICKED IN THERE.

WE'LL START THE EXTRA LESSONS

AS SOON AS I AM UP AND ABOUT.

THREE ONE-HOUR
SESSIONS A WEEK, YES?

I JUST WANNA PASS, I DON'T
WANNA BE GERARD DEPARDO.

(speaking French)

THAT SOUNDED LIKE A COMPLIMENT.

ARE YOU GONNA TRANSLATE?

NO. NO, YOU ARE...

IN ABOUT A MONTH.

(knocking)

I SEE THE BABY BUSINESS HAS
TAKING IT'S TOLL WITH VINNIE.

Doogie: HE DID A GREAT JOB.

YOU KNOW, I DON'T
THINK I'LL EVER

GET OVER THE MIRACLE OF BIRTH,

AND IT MUST BE SO MAGICAL

TO WATCH YOUR OWN
CHILD BEING BORN.

MAGICAL?

IT'S TERRIBLE.

AT LEAST IT WAS WITH
YOU, I WAS UP FOR 46 HOURS.

THEY WERE GONNA DO A C-SECTION,
THEY CHANGED THEIR MIND,

HAD TO USE FORCEPS. YOU
CAME OUT WITH A POINTY HEAD.

YOUR MOTHER TOOK ONE LOOK
AT YOU AND BURST INTO TEARS.

YOU'RE MAKING THAT UP.

WHY DO YOU THINK
YOU'RE AN ONLY CHILD?

GOOD NIGHT, SON.

GOOD NIGHT, DAD.

(theme music playing)