Doogie Howser, M.D. (1989–1993): Season 1, Episode 20 - Use a Slurpy, Go to Jail - full transcript

Doogie and Vinnie are held hostage in a convenience store by a gang member.

Vinnie: OKAY, THAT'LL BE
FOUR ITALIAN HOAGIES...

TWO BAGS OF CHIPS,
TWO CHERRY SLURPEES,

AND A CARTON OF CHO-CHO BARS...

THAT WILL BE $624.72.

HUH?

DELPINO, I THOUGHT YOU
KNEW HOW TO USE THE REGISTER.

- I THOUGHT I DID TOO.
- READ THE MANUAL.

GENTLEMEN, THAT WILL BE $21.36.

Man: I STILL THINK THEY
GOT THE WRONG TOTAL, MAN.

HEY, DOOG! WELCOME
TO ART'S MINI-MART,

WHERE YOUR EVERY
NEED IS MET WITH A SMILE.



HEY, VIN. SO, HOW'S THE
NEW ASSISTANT MANAGER?

I HAVEN'T EXACTLY GOTTEN
THAT PROMOTION YET.

YOU'VE BEEN HERE
THREE DAYS, DELPINO.

IT TOOK ME 14 MONTHS TO
MAKE ASSISTANT MANAGER.

AND YOU'RE SHARP AS A TACK, LOU.

I'M LEAVING EARLY. YOU
THINK YOU CAN CLOSE UP?

ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS
STICK THE KEY IN THE LOCK.

PERFECT EXAMPLE OF WHY
COUSINS SHOULDN'T MATE.

SO, PRETTY NICE SETUP, HUH?

YOU GOT YOUR TV, YOUR
STEREO SYSTEM, YOUR JUNK FOOD,

AND EVERY DIRTY MAGAZINE
A GUY COULD WISH FOR.

THAT'S KIND OF HOW WE
PICTURED HEAVEN, HUH, VIN?

YEP. AND IN THREE
MONTHS, I'LL HAVE ENOUGH

TO BUY THAT NEW CAMCORDER,
THEN I'M OUTTA HERE.



Vinnie: RED VINE?

Doogie: YEAH, THANKS.
YOU WANT A RIDE HOME?

NO, MY FOLKS ARE
STILL OUT OF TOWN.

I GOT MY DAD'S CADDY
PARKED IN THE BACK.

UH, CAN I HELP YOU?

YEAH. GIVE ME THE MONEY... NOW!

WHOA...

OKAY, JUST DON'T SHOOT.

YOU! OVER THERE!

I CAN'T BELIEVE
THIS IS HAPPENING.

- SHUT UP AND OPEN THE REGISTER!
- VINNIE, JUST DO WHAT HE SAYS!

JUST BE PATIENT.

I'M STILL NEW ON THIS THING.

OOPS.

OOPS? OOPS? COME ON, VINNIE!

Thief #2: COME ON, MAN!

LET'S GO!

TWO SECONDS, COZ!

Thief #2: DRIVE, MAN!

DAMN, DAMN!

DAMN!

GET ON THE FLOOR, NOW!

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Man on megaphone: RAYMOND, THIS
IS CAPTAIN ADAMS OF THE L.A.P.D.

THE STORE IS SURROUNDED. WE'D
LIKE YOU TO SET DOWN YOUR WEAPON,

AND COME OUT BEFORE
ANYONE GETS HURT.

NO WAY, PAC-MAN!
THE NAME IS Z-MAN!

ALL RIGHT, Z-MAN.

JUST DO YOURSELF A FAVOR
AND LET'S END THIS THING RIGHT.

THIS ENDS WHEN I SAY IT ENDS!

THIS IS REAPER TERRITORY NOW!

THE Z-MAN IS IN CONTROL HERE!

AIN'T NOBODY
LEAVIN' TILL I SAY SO!

LOOK, UH, Z-MAN? DON'T YOU
THINK THE COPS ARE RIGHT?

THERE'S NO WAY OUT OF HERE.

SHUT UP! AIN'T NOBODY
TALKING TO YOU!

ALL RIGHT, OKAY. JUST THINK
ABOUT IT. WHAT CAN YOU DO?

I SAID SHUT UP!

GET THAT!

GOOD EVENING, ART'S
MINI-MART, WHERE YOUR EVERY...

Man: Who am I speaking to?

- VINCENT DELPINO, SIR.
- Put Z-Man on.

SURE. IT'S FOR YOU.

YO, Z-MAN, THIS IS JOHN LUCAS.

YOU GOT TO COME OUT OF THERE,
BROTHER, BEFORE THIS GETS UGLY.

You know me, man. I've
always been straight with you.

These people aren't playing.

I KNOW WHERE YOU'RE AT,
MAN. I KNOW YOU'RE SCARED.

I AIN'T SCARED! WHO YOU
CALLING SCARED, MAN?

AND DON'T BE TELLING
ME WHAT TO DO.

I'M THE ONE MAKING
THE DEMANDS HERE,

SO YOU LISTEN
CLOSE. I WANT A CAR,

AND SOME MONEY.

AND I WANT A HELICOPTER TO TAKE ME
TO THE AIRPORT. AND I WANT TV HERE.

THAT'S RIGHT, I WANT THIS
ON THE NEWS, YOU GOT THAT?

- I don't have authority...
- I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS,

JUST DO IT!

THAT'S RIGHT. Z-MAN'S
CALLING THE SHOTS NOW.

GONNA MAKE MY HOMEBOYS PROUD.

DID YOU HEAR THAT? TV.

WE'RE TALKING MAJOR EXPOSURE
HERE. CHICKS WILL EAT THIS UP.

THIS COULD BE A
MOVIE OF THE WEEK!

DAMN IT, VINNIE,
THIS IS NOT FUNNY.

- THIS ISN'T A GAME.
- Z-Man: THAT'S RIGHT, COZ.

THIS IS THE REAL THING.

THEY GONNA BE TALKING
ME UP IN THE HOOD TONIGHT.

DON'T KID YOURSELF, MAN.

THEY'RE NEVER GONNA
GIVE YOU ANY OF THAT STUFF,

AND THIS ISN'T GOING
TO MAKE YOU FAMOUS.

WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN IS
SOMEONE'S GOING TO GET SHOT.

HEY, MAN, WE ALL
GOTTA GO SOMEDAY.

BESIDES, YOU THINK I'M
AFRAID OF DYING? HELL, NO.

WHEN YOU'RE A GANGBANGER
YOU EXPECT TO DIE.

IT'S JUST THE WAY IT IS.

YOU DON'T REALLY BELIEVE THAT.

NO? LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING.

HOW MANY OF YOUR
FRIENDS YOU EVER SEEN DIE?

NONE.

I SEEN FOUR OF MY
HOMEBOYS DIE THIS YEAR ALONE.

OLDEST ONE WAS 19.

SEE WHERE I LIVE, THERE'S
SOMEBODY DYING EVERY DAY.

BUT HEY, MAN, THAT'S
LIFE ON THE STREET.

MYSELF?

I'LL BE SURPRISED IF
I SEE THE AGE OF 21.

Lucas: OUR LAST COMMUNICATION
WAS OVER AN HOUR AGO.

WE'VE BEEN UNABLE TO
MAKE CONTACT SINCE THEN.

LOOK, I KNOW THIS KID.

HE'S NOT STUPID. HE DOESN'T
WANT TO HURT YOUR SON.

Officer: DR. AND MRS. HOWSER,

I KNOW HOW YOU'RE FEELING,
BUT THE LONGER THIS GOES

THE BETTER OUR CHANCES OF
ENDING THIS THING WITHOUT INCIDENT.

HAVE THERE BEEN ANY DEMANDS?

YES,

BUT WE'VE CHOSEN NOT TO
GIVE IN TO THEM AT THIS TIME.

MY GOD, WHY NOT?

MY SON AND HIS FRIEND ARE IN
THERE. WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?

PLEASE, MRS. HOWSER,
YOU'VE GOT TO TRUST US.

- WE'RE DOING EVERYTHING WE CAN.
- THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH!

HOW CAN YOU LET THIS HAPPEN?
WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE SAFE HERE.

IF HE HURTS MY SON...

KATHERINE...

- NO!
- KATHERINE!

THE LAST INCIDENT OF THIS TYPE

IN AN AFFLUENT
WESTSIDE NEIGHBORHOOD

WAS THE GANG-RELATED SHOOTING
IN WESTWOOD IN NOVEMBER OF '88.

Again, the standoff here in a
West Los Angeles convenience store

heads into its third hour. At this
time police are still withholding

the names of both the
gunman and his hostages...

WHAT? WITHHOLDING OUR NAMES?

I DON'T BELIEVE THIS! THEY'RE
MESSING WITH MY AIRTIME!

THEY CAN'T GET AWAY WITH THIS.

PEOPLE HAVE A RIGHT TO
KNOW. I'M CALLING THE STATION.

LOOK, Z-MAN, YOU
GOTTA FACE THE FACTS.

THEY'RE NOT GOING TO
GIVE IN TO YOUR DEMANDS.

THE BEST THING FOR YOU TO DO
RIGHT NOW IS TO WALK OUT OF HERE.

YOU'RE STILL YOUNG. THEY'RE ONLY
GOING TO CHARGE YOU AS A JUVENILE.

YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
NOTHING, MAN.

UNLESS YOU HAVE
PRIOR CONVICTIONS...

WHAT ARE YOU, A LAWYER?

ACTUALLY, I'M A DOCTOR.

WHO DO YOU THINK I AM,
MAN, SOME KIND OF CHUMP?

NO IT'S TRUE. I AM A DOCTOR.

I GRADUATED FROM MEDICAL
SCHOOL WHEN I WAS 14.

- THAT'S D-E-L-P...
- HERE.

NOT T, P! AS IN PACINO.

I-N-O, DELPINO.

WELL, WELL, WELL.

WHAT ARE THEY GOING
TO COME UP WITH NEXT?

BLACK MAN CAN'T EVEN GET A JOB
MOST PLACES, NOW THEY MAKING

RICH WHITE BOYS DOCTORS
SOON AS THEY LEARN HOW TO DRIVE!

HEY, THEY DIDN'T MAKE ME A
DOCTOR. I WORKED HARD FOR THAT.

- NOBODY GAVE ME ANYTHING.
- MAN, OPEN YOUR EYES!

YOU LIVE IN A HOUSE THAT DON'T
NEED BARS ON THE WINDOWS.

YOU GOT FOOD ON
THE TABLE EVERY NIGHT!

YOU LIVE ON A STREET WHERE THERE
AIN'T A DRUG DEAL ON EVERY CORNER.

YOU GOT PLENTY, "DOC."

THAT'S WHAT I HAVE
TO LIVE WITH EVERY DAY.

NOT MUCH CHANCE OF ME
BECOMING A DOCTOR ANYTIME SOON.

WHY NOT? YOU GO TO SCHOOL.
YOU CAN WORK HARD, GO TO COLLEGE.

YEAH RIGHT. I JOINED THE
REAPERS WHEN I WAS 11,

JUST SO I COULD GET TO SCHOOL
WITHOUT GETTING BEAT UP.

WHEN I GET THERE, TEACHER'S
TOO BUSY BEING SCARED TO TEACH.

WHO'S GONNA PAY FOR ME
GOING TO COLLEGE, YOUR OLD MAN?

THERE ARE REGULAR JOBS.
PEOPLE HAVE THEM, YOU KNOW.

YEAH, WELL THEY AIN'T ME.

LOOK, COZ, DON'T THINK YOU
KNOW ME OR HOW I GOTTA LIVE,

BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW ME AT
ALL! YOU THINK WE'RE ALL THE SAME.

WE WALK DOWN YOUR STREET,

YOU'RE MOVING TO THE OTHER
SIDE, CHECKING YOUR WALLET.

POLICE PULLING US OVER, NO OTHER
REASON THAN 'CAUSE WE BLACK.

I WATCH TV, I SEE ALL
KINDS OF WHITE PEOPLE...

BUSINESSMEN, LAWYERS...

DOCTORS!

ONLY TIME YOU SEE
ME IS ON THE 6:00 NEWS

BEING DRAGGED OFF TO JAIL!

SEE, I'M YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE.

YOU'RE SCARED TO DEATH OF ME.

WHY SHOULDN'T I
BE? YOU COME IN HERE

HIDING BEHIND A PAIR OF SHADES,
WAVING A GUN IN OUR FACES,

HOW THE HELL AM I
SUPPOSED TO FEEL?

THERE.

I LET YOU SEE ME NOW.

- VIN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
- LET'S GET OUT OF HERE, DOOG.

Doogie: HEY, BE CAREFUL
WITH THAT THING!

LOOK, Z-MAN, WE'RE
LEAVING NOW, OKAY?

IS THAT RIGHT? HOW
YOU GONNA DO THAT?

JUST DON'T... DON'T
COME NEAR ME.

VIN, THIS IS CRAZY.

WHAT ARE YOU GOING
TO DO, MAN, SHOOT ME?

HERE I AM.

The standoff here in Brentwood -

continues into its fifth
hour with little change.

Unconfirmed sources have told us

the suspect's name is Raymond
Alexander, age 16, from Compton.

His hostages are two
Brentwood teenagers,

Douglas Howser
and Vincent Del Florio.

DEL FLORIO? DEL FLORIO?
I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!

- I EVEN SPELLED IT
FOR THEM!
- RELAX, VINNIE.

OH SURE, RELAX.
EASY FOR YOU TO SAY.

THEY DIDN'T GET YOUR NAME WRONG.

THEY DIDN'T GET HIS NAME
WRONG. IT'S ALWAYS ME!

IT'S LIKE THEY GOT A THING
AGAINST SHORT ITALIAN GUYS!

IS HE ALWAYS LIKE THIS?

YEAH, PRETTY MUCH.

YOU MAY BE CRAZIER THAN ME, MAN.

YEAH?

Vinnie: THAT'LL BE A BUCK 49.

KEEP THE CHANGE.

WE NEED SOME SOUNDS.

♪ ...play hard to get,
females get jealous ♪

♪ Okay smarty, go to a party ♪

♪ Girls are scantily
clad and showin' body ♪

♪ A chick walks by, you
wish you could sex her ♪

♪ But you're standing on the
wall like you was Poindexter ♪

♪ Next day's function,
high class luncheon ♪

♪ Food is served and
you're stone cold munchin' ♪

♪ Music comes on,
people start to dance ♪

♪ But then you ate so much
you nearly split your pants ♪

♪ A girl starts walkin',
guys start gawkin' ♪

♪ Sits down next to
you and starts talkin' ♪

♪ Says she wants to dance
'cause she likes to groove ♪

♪ So come on, fatso
and just bust a move ♪

♪ Oh, oh, yeah, oh ♪

♪ Oh, oh, yeah ♪

♪ Just bust a move ♪

♪ Oh, oh, hey ♪

♪ Oh, oh, yeah ♪

♪ Oh, oh, yeah, oh ♪

♪ You're on a mission
and you're wishin' ♪

♪ Someone could cure
your lonely condition ♪

♪ Looking for love in
all the wrong places ♪

♪ No fine girls,
just ugly faces ♪

♪ From frustration,
first inclination ♪

♪ Is to become a monk
and leave the situation ♪

♪ But every dark tunnel
has a light of hope ♪

♪ So don't hang yourself
with a celibate rope... ♪

NOT BAD FOR A
COUPLE OF WHITE GUYS.

WHAT THE HELL IS
GOING ON IN THERE?

I THINK THEY'RE DANCING, SIR.

NOT BAD FOR A BLACK GUY.

RAYMOND?

RAYMOND, CAN YOU HEAR ME?

RAYMOND, I WANT YOU
TO COME OUT OF THERE.

I DON'T WANT TO SEE
NOBODY GET HURT.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, MAMA?

GO HOME!

I WANT YOU TO LISTEN
TO ME, RAYMOND.

THESE MEN SAY
THEY WON'T HURT YOU.

JUST LET THEM BOYS GO

AND COME OUT HERE.

PLEASE!

JUST STAY OUT OF THIS, MAMA!

I CAN'T DO THAT.

YOU'RE MY RESPONSIBILITY.

I DON'T WANT TO
LOSE ANOTHER SON.

MAMA, I AM NOT COMING OUT!

YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!

I'M SORRY!

THAT BOY IS SO STUBBORN.

HE JUST DON'T LISTEN ANYMORE.

RAYMOND, MAYBE
IT'S TIME TO GO HOME.

HEY MAN, I'LL TELL YOU
WHEN IT'S TIME TO GO.

COME ON, WHAT DO YOU WANT?

WHAT ARE WE STILL DOING HERE?

YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT I WANT?

I WANT SOME RESPECT.

I WANT A FUTURE.

I WANT A HOME FOR MY MAMA,

WHERE SHE DON'T
FEEL LIKE A PRISONER.

I WANT MY BROTHER BACK.

HE WAS WHAT YOU CALL A WANNABE.

EIGHT YEARS OLD, USED
TO FOLLOW US AROUND.

HIM AND HIS LITTLE FRIENDS

ACTING LIKE BIG
TOUGH GANGBANGERS.

USED TO SNEAK OUT OF THE
HOUSE, PUT ON HIS COLORS.

MAMA DIDN'T EVEN KNOW.

ONE DAY, SOMEBODY DRIVES
BY AND GUNS HIM DOWN,

RIGHT THERE ON THE STREET.

HE WAS JUST STANDING THERE, MAN,

EATING AN ICE CREAM CONE.

LOOK RAYMOND, IT DOESN'T
HAVE TO BE THIS WAY.

WE CAN HELP YOU.

MAYBE I CAN FIND YOU
A JOB AT THE HOSPITAL.

HEY MAN, DON'T FOOL YOURSELF.

THE MINUTE YOU GET OUT OF HERE,

YOU'LL FORGET ALL ABOUT ME.

THAT'S NOT TRUE.

TRUST ME, RAYMOND, WE'RE
NEVER GOING TO FORGET YOU.

RIGHT.

LUCAS! PICK UP THE
PHONE, MAN, I WANT TO TALK!

- Lucas: Yeah.
- I WANT TO MAKE A DEAL.

FORGET THE OTHER
STUFF I ASKED FOR.

ALL I WANT IS FOR
YOU TO PROMISE ME

THEY'LL TRY ME AS A JUVENILE.

Lucas: I CAN'T DO THAT, RAYMOND.

YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO COME
OUT AND TAKE YOUR CHANCES.

NOW WAY, MAN. THAT'S THE
OFFER. TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT.

- I can get you a good lawyer.
- I DON'T NEED NO LAWYER.

- I KNOW WHAT'S
GONNA HAPPEN TO ME.
- You don't know.

LOOK, I CAN'T DO NO
TIME IN A STATE PEN.

I'M 16.

LOOK, THIS IS DOUGLAS HOWSER.

YOU HAVE GOT TO LISTEN TO HIM.

HE'S REALLY GETTING UPSET.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT HE MIGHT...

- YEAH?
- Lucas: You got a deal.

OKAY.

THEY WENT FOR IT.

Both: YES!

THANKS, HOMES.

GO AHEAD, GET OUT. IT'S OVER.

I SAID GO.

Doogie: WE'RE COMING
OUT, ALL RIGHT?

- HE'S PUT DOWN THE GUN.
- Cop: HOLD YOUR FIRE!

COME ON, OVER HERE.

Lucas: ALL RIGHT,
RAYMOND, COME ON OUT!

DOWN ON THE GROUND! SPREAD 'EM!

GO! GET IN HERE!

ON YOUR FEET.

SON?

HI.

WE JUST WANTED TO SEE
HOW YOU WERE DOING.

I'M OKAY. HOW ABOUT YOU GUYS?

WE'RE FINE. EXHAUSTED, BUT FINE.

DOOGIE, YOUR MOTHER AND I...

WELL...

WHEN YOU WERE INSIDE THAT STORE,

- THE THOUGHT THAT WE MIGHT LOSE YOU...
- I KNOW, DAD.

ME TOO.

Vinnie: HEY, DOOG, YOU
KNOW YOU'RE OUT OF FLOSS.

HIS MOM AND DAD ARE
STILL OUT OF TOWN.

HE KIND OF WANTED TO STAY.

WHY DON'T YOU TWO TRY
TO GET SOME SLEEP, HONEY?

WE'RE HERE IF YOU NEED US.

THANKS, MOM.

Vinnie: AHEM...

I DIDN'T THINK YOU WOULD MIND.

WHAT A NIGHT, HUH?

YEAH.

VINNIE, DO YOU HAVE
ANY BLACK FRIENDS?

- YEAH, SURE.
- REALLY?

I MEAN, GUYS YOU HANG WITH,
NOT JUST GUYS YOU KNOW.

I DON'T REALLY HANG WITH
THEM, BUT I KNOW A LOT OF 'EM.

ME TOO.

BUT I DON'T REALLY
HAVE ANY BLACK FRIENDS.

SO?

SO I WONDER WHY I DON'T.

MAYBE RAYMOND WAS RIGHT
ABOUT US. MAYBE WE ARE PREJUDICED.

JUST BECAUSE WE DON'T
HAVE BLACK FRIENDS?

I DON'T THINK THAT'S TRUE.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

I DON'T KNOW, I NEVER
REALLY THOUGHT ABOUT IT.

HMM.