Donkey Kong Country (1997–2000): Season 2, Episode 14 - Just Kidding - full transcript

It's "All Fool's Day" on the Island of Kongo Bongo and it seems Cranky is out to get everybody. Collapsing chairs;whoopie cushions;catapulting cream pies';no ape is safe from his practicle jokes. Donkey Kong;Diddy and Candy have had enough. It's time to fight fire with fire. However;the joke is still on them when they hand over the Crystal Coconut to King K. Rool...thinking he's Donkey Kong...and Krusha and Klump think Donkey Kong is King K. Rool. Confused? Seems All fools Day" is turning everyone into fools.

♪ Ooh ♪ Ah ♪ Ooh-ah
♪ Donkey Kong ♪ Hey-oh

♪ Look out down
below ♪ Here he comes

♪ Banana slamma



♪ Donkey Kong ♪

♪ Ooh ♪ Ah ♪ Ooh-ah, Donkey Kong



♪ Ooh ♪ Ah ♪ Ooh-ah,
Donkey Kong ♪ Hey-oh

♪ Look out down
below ♪ Here he comes

♪ Banana slamma ♪
Kongo Bongo"s hero ♪

♪ Hey-oh ♪ Donkey Kong,
let"s go ♪



♪ Let"s go ♪

♪ Here he comes ♪ Banana slamma

[Music playing]

Ah!

This is the life!

Psst, Diddy!

Any sign?

The coast is clear, big buddy!

Don"t be so sure.

You don"t get rid of Cranky that

easy on All Fool"s Day!

I"m telling you, DK, this

year, he"s not going to zing us.

I made sure he overheard me say



we were hiding out at the beach.

Yikes, little buddy!

We are hiding out at the beach!

Exactly, but Cranky will

think I was trying to fake him

out, instead of faking him out

with a fake-out of the fake-out.

Heh, heh, got it?

Uh, of course, the old

fake-out of the fake-out.

All I know is it"s us that ends

up getting faked out.

Ow!

[Cranky laughing]

You played him like a

Stradivarius, Diddy!

Diddy?

You were in on this, too?

Well, I"ll be a monkey's uncle!

Gotcha!

It isn"t an official All Fool's

Day prank till you say those

magic words, and you said "em!

Now, don"t forget our deal.

No practical jokes on me this

year, right, Cranky?

Heh, heh!

A deal"s a deal, partner.

[Buzzer, Diddy screaming]

[Cranky laughing]

The old joy buzzer trick!

It"s an oldie but a goodie, kind

of like me.

Well, I"ll be a monkey's uncle.

Yes,
that sentence is music to my ears!

[Laughing]

I can"t believe
Cranky got me so easy!

CANDY: I don"t know why you

take this silly
day so seriously.

Come on, sit down and relax!

Oh, no!

I"m not falling for the old

collapsing deck chair again!

You think I"d trick you?

I"m hurt!

I really am.

Sorry, Candy.

That"s not what I meant!

But I"ll sit here just the same.

Heh!

[Sound of whoopee cushion]

Hmm, the ducks must be

migrating early this year!

It wasn"t me, I swear!

[Laughing]

I"m so embarrassed!

I"m... oh, no!

Well, I"ll be a monkey's uncle.

Cranky!

[Laughing]

Nothing says "gotcha" like

the good old whoopee cushion,
a classic!

Right, Candy?

Candy?

Oh, what can I say, DK?

He made me an
offer I couldn"t refuse.

I"m exempt this year... whoa!

Oh, Cranky!

A little tip: Never believe a

promise made on All Fool"s Day.

Oh, and by the way, isn"t there

something you"d
like to say to me?

I"ll be a monkey's uncle.

Or aunt, for all I care, as

long as I got you,
and I got you!

Hee, hee!

There"s definitely something

funny going on here.

Well, you have to see it.

Monkey against monkey,

insubordination
amongst the ranks.

It was... funny!

It was All Fool"s Day, you

humourless half-wit!

There"s supposed to be something

funny going on!

They"re all playing practical

jokes on each other.

What"s so funny about jokes?

Here, you"ll see what I mean

when you look through
these binoculars.

[K. Rool giggling]

[Laughing]

I still don"t see the joke, sir.

But I do, ha, ha!

And you are the joke, Klump!

Well, hey!

I don"t get it.

You feel for my joke, and

that, my ignorant iguana, is

the point of All Fool"s Day!

Now, I must devise the practical

joke to end all practical jokes!

Oh, I get it!

We deploy a practical joke

manoeuvre as a decoy to

commandeer the Crystal Coconut.

No, you laugh-starved lunkhead!

I just want to get the last

laugh on those apes,
once and for all!

You know what they say.

He who laughs last...

Doesn"t get the joke?

[Growling]

[Rustling]

CANDY: Any sign of Cranky?

I think we"re safe!

DK: Well,
I can"t wait to get home.

I"m bushed!

Ha, ha, ha!

Oh, you get it?

[Clanging]

Ah, no sign of him.

With any luck, we can hide

out from old Cranky for the rest

of All Fool"s Day!

Yeah!

Old Cranky"d never think of

looking for you here!

Keep your eyes on him!

Watch out for any sudden tricks.

Nothing doing!

I"m out of here!

Relax, see?

No joy buzzers, no whoopee

cushions,
I"m completely unarmed.

♪ I just wanted
to say I"m sorry ♪

♪ I didn"t mean to
take things so far ♪

♪ This is right from the heart

♪ Let"s make a fresh start ♪

♪ Can you ever forgive me?



♪ Look,
I came over here to be a nice guy ♪

♪ You"re looking at me

with untrusting eyes ♪

♪ Would I make you
the fool purposely? ♪

♪ What more do
you want from me? ♪

♪ Ah,
this is too much work for me ♪

[Bells clanging]

What a shame Cranky didn"t

want to stick around.

There"s a note!

"Sorry I" ll be missing this.

Signed, Cranky."

Missing what?

ALL: Uh-oh!

Cranky!

CRANKY: Gotcha!

[Cranky laughing]

Diddy!

This is where we
fight fire with fire.

Cranky can"t resist Chewy Chews.

When he sees this can, he"ll...

He"s coming!

Let"s get out of here!

[Cranky whistling]

DK, the can!

[Whistling]

Hmm, what"s this?

Chewy Chews!

I love Chewy Chews!

[Snickering]

Nuts, the tin"s stuck!

Huh?

What a cruel
All Fool"s Day joke!

A tin of Chewy Chews, and no way

to open them!

Oh, well.

He"s not going to open them!

[Whistling]

Oh, hi, Cranky!

How"s life?

Terrible.

Here I am, dying for some Chewy

Chews, and I can"t open the tin!

I don"t suppose
you could help me.

DK, no!

Ahhhh!

[Gasping]

[Cranky laughing]

I am so good!

Even when I don"t mean to

"gotcha", I can still gotcha!

Well, I"ll be a monkey's uncle!

Again!

Darn, I thought we really had

you this time.

Ah, come on, no hard feelings.

Here, try one of these.

DK, no, it"s a trick!

Hmm, they look okay.

[Sniffing]

And they smell okay.

[Sneezing]

Ah... ah... ah-choo!

[Both sneezing]

Well... I"ll be
a... >> Ah-choo!

Monkey"s... >> Ah-choo!

Uncle!

Ah-choo!

[Cranky laughing]

Oh, it"s nice to know that if

world domination doesn"t work

out, I can always fall back on a

career of designing fiendishly

clever practical jokes.

[Laughing]

Klump, remind me to have a

business card made.

[Chuckling]

Hee, hee!

Klump!

I mean, uh, whee-hee-hee, Sir!

Just finishing
final pre-testing.

The banana bait device is all

set, if you"ll join us.

Excellent!

You know the plan.

Yes, sir, uh, the plan.

Now, was that our top-secret,

for-your-eyes-only plan?

Or just a standard "let"s

destroy the good guys" plan?

The plan, my hopeless,

hot-rodding hairball is... this!

When we see an ape in the

jungle, we use the mobile banana

unit to lure him,
or her, right to this X.

Got it?

Then, Krusha, when I say, "Now,"

you pull the lever and drop the

barrel, you got that?

But Sir... >> What now, Klump?

What the... [Crashing]

[K. Rool shouting, indistinct]

Get this off of me!

But you said, "Now!"

Oh, Krusha, your thickness

continues to amaze me.

Thank you!

I suppose the best thing to

do is synchronize our watches.

When?

When do you think, you

time-warped toothache?

Now!

[Crashing]

Krusha!!!

That"s it,
I'm done fooling around.

No more Mr. Nice Ape!

There"s got to be a way to

get back at Cranky
for All Fool"s Day.

Wait a minute, I got it!

Huh?

Of course!

DK"s costume from last year!

The one where you dressed up

like King K. Rool?

Oh, this is big!

DK,
are you thinking what I"m thinking?

That here"s where I keep my

emergency stash of bananas?

No, DK.

I was thinking, heh heh, that we

fool Cranky into thinking that

you"re King K. Rool!

[Chewing]

Yeah, that would work, too.

Ugh!

I can"t wait to see the look

on Cranky"s face when we hand

you the Crystal Coconut,
big buddy!

I"d be happy just to see

where I"m going right now!

You better get going, Diddy.

Don"t forget, just make sure

the coconut is ready.

I"m on the job!

Do me a favour, Candy.

Stay close.

I can"t see very
well in this thing!

Huh?

Oh, my!

Isn"t this pretty?

[DK crashing]

Oh!

Come on, DK!

We don"t want to be late!

Ready, Krusha?

Uh, for what?

KLUMP: Vroom!

Klump!

Uh, just one minute, sir!

Just doing a final
technical run-through.

Vroom, vroom, vroom-oom-oom!

All I wanted was a simple

banana on a string, but oh, no!

Just give me that
before you hurt yourself!

How does this
confounded thing work?

Ooh, meals on wheels!

No, Krusha!

Don"t touch it!

Just give it to me, now!

[Crashing]

Ahhh!

Ooh, ooh, ah, ow, ooh!

Krusha!

Whoa!

Klump!

Whoa!

Candy, are you there?

Oh, man, sure is hot in here.

Ahh... what the... whoa!

[Crashing]

[Groaning]

This is no fun.

DK: Come on,
where are you, Candy?

Never mind that now, soldier.

That sounds like our favourite

enemy, Donkey Kong!

I"ll give you the signal.

I know you"re here somewhere!

Am I close?

How about now?

No!

Abort mission, abort mission!

[Crashing]

[Groaning]

CANDY: There you are!

Huh?

I turn my back on you for one

minute,
and you go off and disappear.

Now, do you want Diddy to give

you the Crystal Coconut or not?

Give me the Crystal Coconut?

[Giggling]

Okey dokey!

[Grunting]

Ugh, ah, argh!

Ugh!

Permission to beg for forgiveness,
Your

Pickle-in-a-Barrelness!

It was all his fault!

Sorry, King K. Rool.

Me, K. Rool?

I mean, yes, K. Rool but fair!

Hee hee, they think I"m K. Rool!

And as your ruler, I want you to

rub your head and tummies at

once,
while hopping on your left foot!

[DK laughing]

It"s like taking
candy from a baby!

Oh, Candy!

I almost forgot!

Oh, I got to go do something.

Meet you guys back at our place.

See ya!

Ow!

[Giggling]

Heh, these kids today!

They"ll fall for any joke in the

book, and the joke"s on them

"cause I wrote the book!

Heh, heh, heh!

[Screaming]

Ugh!

DIDDY: Gotcha!

Got any requests?

Yeah, get out of here and

leave me alone.

Sorry, don"t know that song.

But that"s not why I'm here,
anyway.

[Banging three times]

Mind if I borrow a cup
of Crystal Coconut?

Have you gone bananas?!

Give me that!

I would but it"s not for me.

It"s for a friend.

What in the rango-fandango is

he doing here?

Aw, Cranky, that"s no way to

treat a guest!

You should offer him a banana,

or a cookie,
or a Crystal Coconut!

Huh?

Here, King K. Rool, enjoy it

in good health!

Ha, ha!

Your wish, lovely lady,
is my command.

[Diddy giggling]

Stop hamming it up, DK, and

get out of here!

Hey, what are friends for?

See ya!

You just gave K.
Rool the... [Crashing]

[Laughing]

Gotcha!

We gotcha good!

[Laughing]

Didn"t we, Candy!

We got him good!

[Laughing]

Oh, Cranky,
the look on your face!

You look like a...
Monkey"s uncle!

[Laughing]

Okay, DK, you can come out now!

Ow!

Ow!

Give me the Crystal Coconut, you

big... uh... something
that starts with B?

Baboons?

Yeah, that"ll work.

Big baboons!

Ah, never mind, DK.

The joke"s over now.

It is?

Aw, I just got here!

I miss all the fun.

What are you talking about?

Candy just handed
you the Crystal Coconut.

Cranky almost turned blue!

It was great!

Aw, nuts!

It"s all Klump
and Krusha's fault!

They dropped this barrel on me,

and then, they thought I was the

real King K. Rool!

[Gasping]

The real K. Rool?

[All screaming]

Oh!

It"s mine, all mine!

I did it by playing the

practical joke of all time!

I pretended to be myself!

Ha, ha!

Oh, the Crystal Coconut is mine,

and nothing can stop me now!

[Crashing]

Krusha!

Uh, he said, "Now!"

I heard him!

This wouldn"t have happened

if you hadn"t insisted we play a

big joke on Cranky!

I insisted?

You and Diddy said...
It wasn"t my idea!

No sirree, not me!

I"d never... >> CRANKY: Quiet!

It doesn"t matter whose stupid,

idiotic, moronic idea this was.

The real question is how do we

get the coconut back?

The real question is, are the

candies in this tin real, or is

it another trick?

DK, not that.

It"s a trick.

Aha!

That means they"re real.

Good, I"m starving.

Oh!

It"s itching powder, you

meddling mange-mouth!

I was saving that for my pièce

de resistance!

DK, this is no time for jokes!

Argh!

Wait a minute!

Maybe it"s exactly
the time for jokes.

Ah, you should have been

there to see it, men!

Those ludicrous lemurs actually

thought I was Donkey Kong,
disguised as me!

Ha, ha!

Oh, they put this little beauty

right into my claws!

How ironic, don"t you think?

Now,
to put it safely in my vault.

DK: Wait!

Hmm?

Oh, you"re too late,
Donkey Kong!

The Crystal Coconut"s mine!

You"ll never get it from me now.

Thank goodness!

That"s the best news
I've had in weeks.

And furthermore, I"ll never

relinquish it!

What?

♪ You see, the coconut is cursed

and I hope you didn"t touch it ♪

Cursed?

What?

Don"t be ridiculous.

♪ You might feel a twitch

or a tingly sensation ♪

♪ Tingly, schmingly

♪ You"re an irritation ♪

Ahhh!

♪ I"m tingling, I'm tingling ♪

♪ My hand is twitching
and quivering ♪

I"m twitching, sir!

I"m twitching!

KRUSHA: I"m quivering.

ALL: Oh, no!

♪ It"s much worse
than I thought ♪

♪ It"s the curse
that you've got ♪

♪ No, it"s not, that's absurd ♪

♪ Word ♪ We"re just tingling

with excitement ♪

♪ Yeah, maybe you"re right ♪

♪ That"s all it ever was ♪

♪ Besides, if you"re cursed ♪

♪ You"d know ♪

♪ "Cause you're
not really cursed

unless you start itching ♪

♪ Ooh ah,
scratch ♪ Itchy itchy itchy itchy

♪ Ooh ah,
scratch ♪ Itchy itchy itchy itch

♪ All this scratching
is making me itch ♪

♪ It"s just a coincidence ♪

♪ It"s allergies, that's right ♪

♪ Yes, that"s right ♪

♪ It"s just an allergy ♪

♪ You"re probably right

"cause the real curse doesn't

kick in until you start ♪

♪ Start sneezing >> Ah-choo!

Gesundheit.

Ah-choo!

Bless you!

♪ Ah-ah-ah-ah-choo!

Klump, use a tissue.

♪ Donkey Kong,
I"m down on my knees ♪

♪ Are there any other symptoms

to this curse, tell me please! ♪

♪ Uh,
just one but no need to fret ♪

♪ I"m sure this is something

that you"ll never get ♪

♪ What is it, what is it

♪ Tell us quick, tell us fast

♪ If you don"t tell us now,

I don"t think that we can last ♪

♪ Well, it"s, um, ah ♪

♪ The gas >> The what?!

[Whoopee cushion expelling air]

Tell me that"s ducks migrating,
sir.

Oh, you should say,
"Excuse me."

I"m cursed!

I"m cursed!

Hoo-ee!

Not to mention a little ripe,
too.

Get that thing away from me,
now!

Are you sure?

Of course I"m sure!

I don"t want to be cursed.

I"m too young, and too beautiful

to be cursed!

[Sneezing]

[Flatulence]

[Whimpering]

Get it out of my sight!

Don"t you have something you

want to say to me, K. Rool?

Uh, thank you, Donkey Kong?

And I have something I want

to say to you.

Happy All Fool"s Day!

[Laughing]

Gotcha!

Let"s go, Diddy!

[Both laughing]

Well, I"ll be a monkey's uncle.

[Sound of whoopee cushion]

It wasn"t me!

Heh, yeah.

CRANKY: Well, how did it go?

Worked like a charm.

K. Rool was twitching and

scratching and sneezing and...

Tooting his own horn,
so to speak!

[Chuckling]

He couldn"t
wait to get rid of this!

Well, I think there"s a

lesson here, boys.

Having fun on All Fool"s Day is

fine, but messing with the

Crystal Coconut
just ain"t kosher.

You know best, Cranky.

Of course I know best!

I know everything.

That"s why I always win at All

Fool"s Day.

Now, give me the coconut and let

me put it away.

Oh, ah!

No-o-o-o!

[Shattering]

[Cranky screaming]

The Crystal Coconut is ruined!

We"re all doomed!

Run for your lives!

Can I just say one thing,
Cranky?

What could you possibly say

at a time like this?

Gotcha.

Ha, ha!

Huh?

Well, I"ll be a monkey's uncle.